Chp 40 (Lucas's POV) has been divided into 2 parts.
This is Part II.
Part II is the darker half of the chapter.
Thank you for your support.
Trigger Warning: This chapter contains disturbing themes. Approach with caution.
SC PUBLIC CHATROOM, SERVER XXX: LOUNGE - Live!
Anon: did you guys see that?!
Anon: SkyTrain station exploded
Anon: wtf is happening
Anon: It didnt EXPLODE smh it was just a beam of light
Anon: GOKU FOR SMAHS CONFIRMED?!
Anon: and an animal stampede, no casualties
Anon: A fish landed on my windshiled palutena help us all the apocalyspe is here
Anon: holy shit master hand's on site
Anon: ALIENS!
Anon: Aliens already live here u two-legged beta cuck
Anon: GOKU
Anon: ALIENS
Anon: u guys think it was a smasher?
Anon: lol dibs on sonic
Anon: watch it be one of the pk boys lol
Anon: nah I bet it's ganandorf again the pk boys dont du shit
Anon: they do each other
Anon: Yes officer, this comment right here
Anon: s/Unexpected Nesscas
Anon: NESS. AND. LUCAS. ARENT. GAY. STOP MAKING THEM GAY.
Anon: Nesscas is disgusting
Anon: NESSCAS IS CANON
Anon: NESS LOVES PAULA
Anon: PAULAS A SLUT AND A HOE I WILL FITE U
Anon: LUCAS IS A PUSSYASS BITCH WHO DESERVED TO LOSE HIS FAMILY
Anon: STFU U GUYS NESS IS METROSEXUAL NOT GAY OR STR8 U CiSHETERO NONNIES N MY SHIPz R BETTeR tHAN YouRS! dONT jUDGE ME! bLOCKED!
Anon: I wish ness loved me :(
Anon: this is why I hate the mother fandom
Anon: this is why mother 3 hasn't been released yet
Anon: Imagine liking a celebrity
Anon: Imagine SHIPPING a celebrity FTFY
Anon: NeSs iS SaNS?1!
Anon: didnt like 11 of the twelve go missing on Valentine's Day?
Anon: I repeat, tf is happening
Anon: W-Wot's dis? OWO M-Master hand save us uwu
Anon: fucking furries
Anon: ew anon fucks furries
Anon: GOKU
Anon: ALIENS
Anon: GOKU
Anon: ALIENS
Anon: where tf are the mods when you need them
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~Chapter Forty-One~
A Certain Someone's Memories
(LUCAS POV PART 2/2)
.
.
.
Later, I'd wonder how I lasted over 24 hours without sleep.
But in the moment, I felt eerily calm. Because aside from making other people's lives hell, Porky made two major mistakes when he picked on me:
One, I'm not Ness. I'm a bitter, vengeful fuck. With my dad never home and the Tazmily villagers whispering behind my back wherever I went, in my first life, I grew up with no one save for Boney fighting in my corner. And in my second, I grew up in a bad neighborhood, constantly terrorized by Porky's debt and his gang of Sharks in the Onett streets. I had to toughen up fast to stay alive. If I went through all that pain and suffering just to end up losing to Porky of all people, I'll eat my left sock.
Two, Porky messed with the people I loved. He messed with my friends, and he messed with my family. Ness is the final straw.
There's also the Egg of Light. Key for curing the Tazmily Villagers' amnesia, Ness stuffed it inside his bag after our escapade from the Black Market. It's probably back in Porky's hands, but compared to the above, this reason pales in comparison.
Amazingly, I pull up at Porky's private harbor unscathed.
As soon as I drive the wheezing, battered van into the gated compound, the walkietalkie taped to the dashboard crackles to life. "...Nathan? Oi, you there?"
I answer it.
Relief. "...huh, you sound more cheerful than usual. Fucking finally, I couldn't reach the other guys, and well - ya know how the boss gets when he gets angry hehehe. Any'ays, we saw the hugeass beam of light. Ya need backup? Reckon you need more pussies to pick up your slack-"
Carefully rehearsing the words in my head, I mimic Nathan's nasally voice by pinching my nose, and tell him that communication's gone down, that the boy escaped, and that we didn't need backup- because we expected to corner the fucker in due time.
The person on the other line sounds disgruntled, but not suspicious, so when he cuts the call, I count it as a win, and peel behind a sand dune by Porky's Mansion, my ears bombarded by the sound of seagulls calling for food.
If Neckbeard's memories are right, Porky's sex party is tonight, and it's taking place in a mansion he's hidden from public records: a blue-bricked mansion with a view to a private harbor, both most likely bought under a fake alias. A place where he first takes all his victims, grooms them, and keeps them confined before pimping them out to his clients.
But first.
To address our little stowaway.
"All right, I know you're here," I say out loud.
Nothing.
With a resigned sigh, I grab a squirming Rope Snake by the neck and pull him out of my pocket. The grip's not too firm, but immediately, he complains.
"O-Ow," he squeaks.
"I thought I told you to stay behind."
"P-Picky picky. I kept my wo-word. You came back home, sss-so I go where you go," he says sullenly. When a seagull obnoxiously caws overhead, Rope Snake snaps, "S-Stupid bird."
"This isn't like last time. What I'm doing now is actually dangerous-" I begin.
"Yet you bring along the N-N-Ness," Rope Snake sniffs. "Am your num-number one best friend, yes, yes. We find the Ness, free the h-hatchlings, then eat the P-P-Porky."
He leaves the discussion there, and I'm forced to admit that maybe - maybe this isn't a bad thing. I could use all the help I could get before the Smashers arrive. He's got a point. Several points. Except for eating Porky. Rope Snake talks big for a snake shorter than a jumprope, but I appreciate the vote of confidence all the same. Confidence is all I have to work with. Confidence, magic, and luck.
I wear the new pink pigmask suit from the van, tighten the black boots over my shoes, and pop the mask on.
Then I take in the seaside view.
To the left, two brigs tilt and bob above the tides. SkyShips, near replicas of Meta Knight's Halberd- ships that can travel at hyperspeed and condense stretches of space, but not time. A symbol of wealth, SkyShips remain the only mode of transportation able to reach even the Floating Islands at the very fringes of Master Hand's world. With exorbitant boarding passes reserved only for the 1%, and rarer still found for sale, only a handful of people can afford to own a SkyShip, much less multiple. Each brig has two perfect pairs of angelic wings, tucked in and ballooning from the wind at their sides. The harbor air tastes of salt and seaweed, and Rope Snake flicks his tongue, taking in all the different smells and sights.
The closest of the two ships, the S.S. Lardna, bustles with activity. All cheer and chatter, a colorful assortment of people in similar PigMask costumes wait to board the ship - the passengers to be of the voyage. Off to the side in contrast, like blueberry Oompa Loompas, what look like sailors bumble up and down the gangway, restocking on food and hauling in what looks like luggage. No doubt Porky's men. Despite the sweltering weather, they're all dressed in blue robes, a bedsheet-onesie hybrid. I nod when one hurriedly salutes me, and continue on my way.
On the opposite side of Marina Harbor, across from the fleet of ships lies an expensive Venetian-style mansion. Boasting off its bright blue bricks like a peacock, the mansion stands out from the muddy red-brown tiles of its neighbors. Even from here, I can tell that it's stacked with security cameras. All its windows are tinted black. Porky's infamous Blue House.
Commotion.
A haunting melody.
Silently, I slide up the nearest roof, Rope Snake coiling and stretching like a grappling gun. From the blindspot, we watch an entourage of people -all clad head-to-toe in blue gowns - slink underneath the gates, chanting in the solemn air of medieval monks. With roughly punched in eye-holes and hastily painted HH's etched onto the foreheads of their blue bedsheet robes, they resemble an odd flock of ghostly trick-or-treaters.
They break out into song. "Blue, blue, blue..."
Their blue garb sparks a familiar memory. Something Ness told me about Twoson...
Paula.
Several years ago, Paula had been kidnapped by the Happy Happyism cultists. Obsessed over the color Blue, they'd wanted a priestess, a child sacrifice - and Paula ended up as their chosen one. Her life on the line, she'd ended up praying and reaching out to Ness for help. When Ness dispelled the influence of Giygas from their town and forced Carpainter to step down, most of the members disbanded, but zealotry had driven the few extremists underground. After an infamous case where several leaders ended up committing mass suicide by drinking Koolaid spiked with rat poison, Porky must've taken back over the reigns.
After all, what better than to own a cult of child sacrifices to organize all his dirty business?
I continue watching the procession.
Then at once, several panicked thoughts prickle against me. As if tasting something too, Rope Snake snaps to attention, baring his fangs in a silent snarl, but I've already refocused my attention to the middle of the procession. More Blue Cult members emerge, but now, with smaller frightened figures in tow - their wrists tied and bound behind their backs like rotisserie chicken.
Children. Half look my age, half younger. All black-haired, save for one.
With a last wavering note, the song dies. The congregation stops in place. There's an eagerness in the air, as if they're expecting someone.
Their patience delivers. At the end of the congregation appears a man. He reminds me of a billygoat, what with his scrunched-up glasses and blue goatee. Smartly dressed in a blue suit, the man himself doesn't wear a bedsheet over his face like his followers, but when he addresses them from the front doors, the air of authority is unmistakable from his body language alone.
I think I realize, right after he sweeps his hands forward.
The priest speaks. A strange wave of emotion prickles my eyes, before I furiously blink it away. Two grown men weep. Overwhelmed, fervent in belief, a pregnant woman drops to her knees, reduced to tears-
"Father, we're all ready- we-" she blubbers. "If it means what's best for our family, I'll even offer up my own unborn child to you, right now, Father-"
With a murmur, Carpainter raises his fingers to his lips, magic layering his words- then presses the soothing glow to her forehead. PSI. As if washing away her worries with his words, the crease in the woman's forehead disappears. "Rise, Sister Mary. Your time will come. Soon, your children will join our family as the Sons and Daughters of God. And they too, will learn to please Master Porky."
A broken sob. "God bless you, Father."
"Thank you, Father," her husband murmurs, pressing his hand over his wife's belly.
Goosebumps crawl up my arms.
The priest is an empath. Minor, powers restricted to his words, most likely unsuited for combat, I note the longer I observe him, but he's dangerous enough to sway people and test their mettle. A stark contrast to Ness, whose magic is in tune with the people around him and powerful and expressive, the priest's magic feels slimy, clinging onto my head and heart in subtle ways. The perfect magic for persuasion.
"Brave brothers and sisters, one mistake defines your life not," The priest murmurs, his voice calm and serene. "We are one... Step forward and confess your sins."
As if triggering a wave, others follow. Reverently touching and tugging at the bottom of his robes, his pants, his shoes, even the dirt beneath his feet, as if he were a sacred visage.
"Father- I lost sight of myself and hit my wife-"
"Father, I am a Scarlet Woman- I started an affair with a married man, and have committed adultery-"
"Father-" Shoving a bound boy aside like a second thought, a man crawls forward. "Father, forgive me, I've done unspeakable things to the children of the Blue House-"
One by the one, the priest presses a kiss on each of their foreheads. "Rise, for God is kind; He has forgiven you all."
"Father!" Interrupting the confessions with a cry, a sailor races up to the priest from the harbor, and throws himself at his feet. "Father Carpainter, our esteemed guests have boarded the ship."
As if seized by a feverish prayer, Father Carpainter speaks with rapture. His voice sends a chill down my spine. "Brothers and sisters, today we embark on a special journey. For thanks to our Savior and Grace, Master Porky - without whom we never could have been - our Mortal Enemy shall finally pay for his crimes."
"Blue, blue, blue."
"Yes, blue. The day that cursed boy interrupted our coronation, our God quaked in terrible anger. He spared no one in His rage, not even us, the sons and daughters of Father Generosity. He does not forgive, and we do not forget. Tonight, we shall sacrifice the boy who snatched away our poor High Priestess five years ago. We shall sprinkle his blood on the altar to appease Him, then paint his accursed body blue in coronation of his sister. Our family reborn from the ashes of the new, his sister shall be our new High Priestess- a pure virgin child. Such a powerful human sacrifice shall appease Hi- What is the meaning of this?" The priest suddenly points, and the startled man drops the offending obect - a yellow apple - in surprise. "Brother Mathuel. You dare expose our family to this despicable Anti-Blue thing?"
"Traitor! Nonbeliever!"
"Purge the Heathen!"
The offending man instantly falls to the ground to grovel. "Forgive me, Father Carpainter," he gasps, bent low and wriggling like a worm stuck in mud. "My mistake... I thought this blue apple could serve as a Vegan substitute for drinking the blood of Ness-"
The followers wail and recoil like vampires in sunlight.
Father Carpainter raises a hand, and ripples of displeasure silence the distraught crowd. "Do not speak that name," the priest commands, his voice echoing impressively throughout the courtyard, and the children shiver. "We do not speak the name of the boy so Anti-Blue... a name so filthy and vile that anyone who dares speak it must be purged." Now gravely. "Brother Mathuel, you have endangered our family. You spoke the name of the Devil and bore an Anti-Blue fruit into our midst. You are unclean, so very unclean... May God have mercy on you. Take him away!"
"Please Father, I didn't know it was yellow-" the man screams, struggling to free himself when two other cultists drag him back into the Blue House. "It was an accident, I'm colorblind, pleaSE-!" The slam of the front doors loudly punctuates his words, ringing in my ears like a gong.
"Gather around, gather around... soon, we need not worry any longer," Father Carpainter says solemnly, like a shepherd comforting his lost sheep, and relief spreads contagiously through the faces of the crowd. "Master Porky will keep us happy. Master Porky will keep us safe. For at sundown, Master Porky will offer up our finest boys and girls to his highly-esteemed guests, then sacrifice the Anti-Blue heathen upon our altar. All hail Master Porky Minch!"
"Happy be our great leader!"
"Glory be his name!"
"...where be the High Priestess? We need to cleanse the virgin girl for her Ascension-"
"One of our own has gone to fetch the girl. Mister Nathan, I believe."
The priest starts. "Did he bring the girl with him?"
"He has yet to arrive, Your Grace. He still seeks the boy named Lucas."
Angry muttering.
"A delay? Master Porky was afraid of this. This won't do. You," Father Carpainter points at a follower. "It's time. Lock up the remaining children - the defects - inside the cellar, and offer them to the gods."
"Father," murmurs the blue follower, almost reverently. "Father, I implore you, they may still be of some use. They are still happy to please-"
"Nine children on this voyage are enough. Master Porky's instructions were clear. If Brother Nathan arrives late with his cargo, you are to drown the rest of the children in blue, take the last ship, and dump their bodies over to feed the blue-finned servants of our Father... if short on time, the black market should take fresh meat. Acrylic paint for the ritual, remember, not oil- else they shan't Ascend. Remember, all the slaves. All the unlucky women and men and children... Put them out of their misery, and lead them kindly to Heaven... Once Mister Nathan returns with our High Priestess, send him to the Playhouse. We reconvene on New Pork Island."
"Of course, Father. You are most kind. May Happiness Eternal bless you."
"May you be Blue."
"Blue, blue."
After that strange sacred transaction, they part ways. Sweeping forth his own robes, Father Carpainter rejoins the procession to the harbor, and his follower shuts the door.
Psychos.
They're as fanatic as religious extremists get.
The priest's order throws a wrench into my plans. I was so sure Porky hosted his sex parties here... I flip through Neckbeard's memories. I definitely remember seeing an outline of the same mansion in Neckbeard's mind, and I know Neckbeard dropped off a few of his slaves near Marina Harbor at a place called the Blue House. Did I get the wrong place? Or was Neckbeard so much of a pathological liar that even his memories couldn't be trusted?
It hits me. What if I'm not wrong? What if there's two copies of the same mansion? One here, and the other elsewhere? But where?
I glance back at the SkyShips.
A private island. If Porky's not here... he must have bought out one of the floating islands. He's got the SkyShips and the secret personnel to pull it off.
New Pork Island, as Carpainter said. Apart from the mainland. The perfect place to host sex parties without drawing suspicion.
I anxiously check my phone. It's on, but there's no signal. Though expected in such a remote place, my heart sinks.
Still no Smashers in sight, and no way to contact them about the change of plans. They're taking much longer than I thought to arrive.
This isn't looking good.
Terrified, one of the little girls cries into her squalid hands. As if out of instinct, the group of children huddles closer to a boy at its center. Tallest of the bunch, he rubs the crying girl in the back as best as he can with his bound hands, glancing around as if desperately searching for a way out. Unlike the rest, he's got startling ginger hair.
Then he catches sight of us. A loud recognition sinks in his eyes.
Help us.
Then the cultists shove the shackled children away to the harbor, and my stomach sinks. I even think about possessing the priest, but something about the crazy look in his eyes changes my mind. I decide against it - assuming I'm even successful in my endeavors, possession grows weaker with distance, and the priest himself is surrounded by followers. Mewtwo might be able to possess several people at once, but I'm still a novice at best, and keeping track of even one person is challenging enough without arousing suspicion. Porky's been clever enough to evade the police several times - I don't put it past him to successfully hide Ness and his victims elsewhere. Besides, the priest has had multiple years of experience twisting crowds to his side. With numbers on his side, he could probably sound the alarm to Porky before I can take him down.
I have no choice but to let the cultists drag the nine children away. To Porky himself, from the sounds of it.
Frustrated, I tighten my grip on the roof tile.
That ship's my only lead. If I stay behind to save the victims stuck at the Blue House, I'll be forced to miss the ship. And if Porky's paranoia kicks in after hearing about the rescue, he might not feel comfortable dragging Ness and the remaining children around. He might even think it safer to kill them all before the Smashers have the chance to get involved.
On the other hand, I can't just leave behind everyone stuck in the Blue House.
Making up my mind for the Blue House, I'm about to barge inside to PK Freeze the walls white when a sigh interrupts me.
"Dear me. So this was where she was."
I stop in surprise. Out of all Smashers, I hadn't expected her to show up. "Bayonetta?"
"Lucas..." Another soft sigh. A familiar pop lingers in the air- the same bubbly noise from Cloud's room at New Years. Champagne. In a shower of stars, a velvety panther gracefully melts into a woman with crooked spectacles. Laying on her stomach with the relaxed air of someone suntanning on the roof, she gives me knowing look. "Nice costume." Then she snaps her fingers. Overhead, a seagull flies as if stuck in amber, sluggishly caught mid-flap, and content by her own work, Bayonetta lowers her hand. Witch Time. "There. That should spare us a few minutes of privacy."
"I thought you were on Leave."
Her mouth tightens into a line. "One of Jeanne's students went missing. An orphan. Obviously I was keeping an eye out for the Twelve, but it seems like there's no need. All roads lead to Rome. But I digress." She inclines her head to the Blue Blue cultists bustling around the harbor. "Looks like your ship's about to set sail. You might want to hurry, darling, or else you'll miss your ride." Catching my expression, she arches a brow. "Unless you were planning to let Porky and those children go...?"
"I can't. There's people at the House we need to save-"
"People we need to save, not you," Bayonetta agrees. "You've already seen more than anyone your age should see. Not to mention you left the Mansion in quite an uproar. The youngest of the Twelve missing, you missing... I imagine the Smashers are frantically pursuing you here, even as we speak. We're a little overprotective like that, unfortunately." Her smile widens, her hands under her chin in an perfect imitation of draw me like one of your French women. "...Ah. I see you've taught yourself some new tricks. How long do you think your awoken powers will last in this world? You could get lucky, I suppose. It took me one week for Master Hand's wards to nerf me. But I wouldn't gamble on it. You should strike while the iron's hot." She smiles again, but there's obvious concern behind her spectacles. "I'm afraid we part ways here, Little One. Stay alive until we next meet, won't you? Or else I'd be forced to hunt down the dreadful git responsible for killing you with a terrible vengeance. Oh, and if you happen to find Samus... send her my regards."
"Bayonetta, wait-"
"Ta."
Then her Witch Time dissolves. There's a jerk in my navel, and I'm yanked back into the present. Rope Snake hisses in surprise, but Bayonetta's nowhere in sight.
The blare of a barge blasts me back to reality.
The S.S. Lardna. It's leaving.
Rope Snake protests when I stuff him back into my pocket and race to the Harbor. With a groan, the ship lifts its dripping wings from the water, ready to depart. Still too far. I tighten my stride, but the ship glides away against the waves, flapping upward with a crash of ripples.
"M-Misssed. Oh well. Better luck next time," Rope Snake says hopefully, but I only jog in place and flex my fingers, snapping them to get the magic going in my circulation. If my PK Fire can launch me across a stage, then it should be able to to do this too. As if sensing this, Rope Snake feebly starts, "Uh, Lucas...? Don't tell me you're about to-"
Without missing a beat, I jump off the pier.
.
.
.
~oO0Oo~
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.
.
Rope Snake screams.
Prey instinct. I've forgotten how much he hates flying.
Through the mist, the hull creaks like an old pirate ship. The deck tilts like a rocking horse. A stray rope flutters over the side of the ship's starboard-
There.
Streaking low into the fog, I flick on the PK Fire at my feet and hurtle upwards like a jetpack. The angle forces me to graze under the belly of the ship, before I grab hold of the dangling rope with my free hands. When I hear no signs of alarm from the crew, I wait for denser cloud cover before throwing myself on board.
The S.S. Lardna stands proud with two masts. Even through the fog, several full sails flap wildly in the wind like laundry on a clothesline. Lashed in place of a screaming mermaid at its bow is a massive boar's head, its eyes cold and empty. Between its murderous tusks is a carved wooden apple the size of a Party Balloon, stuck in its mouth. Tougher! Rougher! Badder!, reads the scrawled inscription on the apple stem.
I slide off the boar's head, and stumble onto the main deck.
On deck, yellow light pours from the open cabin. Curling around my neck to ground himself, Rope Snake bemoans the loss of his nine lives. Absentmindedly scratching him behind the head in apology, I glance around, clumsily making my way around the main deck with my ill-fitting boots-
"What are you doing here?!"
I freeze.
A horrified cultist scurries out of the cabin. "Er, excuse me," he gasps. "You scared me, standing out here right before hyperspace- Please follow me, esteemed guest of Master Porky. The party is this way."
I barely have time to raise an eyebrow before the cultist ushers us inside, through several winding turns and corridors. I try to keep track: Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A.
A storage closet. Ten bathrooms. Private showers. An arrow leading to an emergency exit on the bottom floor. I note the surprising lack of security cameras.
An announcement crackles alive, initiating Hyperspace.
"One second, please," the cultist says.
There's a sudden jerk in my gut. Outside, the windows blur. The sky a backdrop, the fog outside turns from blue to muted tones of mysterious purple. Even through dense cloud cover, I can make out wisps of glowing green lights dancing in delight. The Northern Lights.
The Isle of Floating Islands.
We're at the Edge of the World.
"Thank you," the cultist says, resuming the entourage. "Mind you, we arrive in a few hours-"
A few hours?
This gives me pause. The whole point of hyperspace was to decrease itinerary time. This ship simply could've landed on New Pork Island, none-the-wiser.
Then it occurs to me: It's a sign of power. The ship could arrive on Porky's island any time it wanted to. In fact, his passengers must be so filthy rich, they could not only afford a trip of this magnitude, but also enjoy being on a facsimile of a journey. This ship is their definition of a pregame in paradise, their idea of the ideal self-indulgence.
Room A - Atrium. We stop in an entrance hall decorated with an oil painting of Porky. Propped overhead against the wall like a sanctimonious figure, Porky Minch smiles widely down at his visitors, his face and belly noticeably trimmed down. Modesty's always been his strong suit.
"In here, please," he murmurs, holding the door open, and I step inside.
The Atrium resembles more of a nightclub than a First Class Lounge on the SkyShip. A sea of pigmask masqueraders saunter by in their baggy uniforms. From the manner they carry themselves, it's obvious that the passengers are Social Elites. CEOs, politicians, royalty. Aristocrats.
Anonymity the name of the game, the atrium serves to amuse the partygoers. Blackjack and gambling in the corner. Self-serving drinks on platters. Smiling prostitutes on each arm, their minds cloudy and numb. Massage chairs and handbags skinned from real leather (Rope Snake shudders). I even pass several pigmask masqueraders in a hot tub, naked save for their masks, in the middle of an orgy. When I turn around, revolted, someone slips something into my pockets. I pull out two round blue pills, the phrase HAPPY HAPPY etched on their capsules.
I throw them away.
Pink.
Blue.
Green.
White.
From eavesdropping on several conversations, I confirm that the color of the pigmask costumes dictate rank even amongst the Elite - Pink, like mine, represents new members to Porky's exclusive club. From there, Blue is a rank above me (Captain), Green higher up still (Major), and White (Colonel) - distinguished by a stylish cape - is the highest rank beneath Porky: Porky's innermost circle of confidantes.
Where the pigmasks once used to represent Porky's right-hand enforcers, the masqueraders in this room act more like members of a secret billionaire's club.
The longer I linger, the harder the truth sinks in.
These people masquerading as pigmasks... They're all Porky's clients. Customers of Porky's slave trade.
There's a heavy atmosphere of anticipation. As if the partygoers are waiting for something. I exchange a look with Rope Snake, but we don't have to wait long.
A murmur ripples across the room. Everyone turns their masked heads.
Then the double doors open, and a Blue Blue Cultist shoves the nine terrified children inside.
"Oh good, fresh meat," a woman says, her nails clicking against her wine glass.
"Not yet, my good miss," the cultist says, pride in his voice. He jerks the end of his rope, and the chain of children stumble backwards. "Master Porky wants to reserve them as an appetizer for the main event. Think of this as a preview to the show."
"Aww... Not even a little snack, Jarvis?" one of the pigmasks teases from the hot tub. "Just a bite?"
"Not today. Master Porky is preparing a surprise."
"Well, I'm all for surprises, but this is a bit cruel-"
"Master Porky's wishes. He has invited you good men and women to witness the true extent of his power, and bid on his many pieces-"
The pigmask man flippantly waves him off. "-so he says. Nothing new, all hot air." A snort. "Listen, you tell your master I'll believe him the day his so-called nemesis finally falls at his feet-"
"The Last of the Twelve has fallen."
The partygoers react with surprise.
"...I can't believe it," the man says.
"I've always thought Ness was a cute bugger. How much do you think Porky'll sell him for?"
"Do you think Porky defeated the Twelve?"
"Forget that- I wonder if he'll have the Twelve open for auction!"
"I call dibs on Captain Falcon!"
"No, I want him!"
"Then Samus is mine!"
"Gentlemen, ladies," the cultist cuts through. "It will please Master Porky to see you all excited over the auction of his one-of-a-kind amiibos, but he is firm on opening the ceremony with the usual. He wouldn't want to spoil the main event too soon. Now, would any of you fine ladies and gents like to bet on these fine-?"
"No, no," the hot-tub man says impatiently. "Who cares about those damn kids anyway? Someone buy them off so we can auction for the real deal."
Their agreement clamors in my ears.
"Everyone wishes to fold...? Very well, the children will return to dance for the opening ceremony. Blue, blue." Dutifully yanking on his rope, he drags the children away like livestock.
Another cultist re-enters the room with a linen cart stuffed with fresh blue sheets, ear plugs, and eye masks. With a mutter for the bathroom, I slip out.
Shaking off his stunned state, Rope Snake speaks first. "N-Nasty," he says with disgust, and I nod, still unable to speak. I can't agree more.
Silently ducking behind a pile of empty boxes, I tail the group of children to a dead end. Room B. One by one, the cultist roughly thrusts them in. When one of the children struggles and kicks, he raises a hand, and she recoils.
My magic boils.
Shoving the last child inside like livestock, he fiddles with the electronic lock, and stuffs the keycard into his pockets. When he storms past my hiding place, I make my move.
It's now or never.
"PK Magnet," I whisper, guiding my telekinesis to the key card in his pocket. It slips underneath his blue robes, and flies across the aisle straight for my hand-
My victory's cut short by a growing noise. Two people approach. Holding my breath, I pull a Solid Snake, flattening myself onto the floor and clumsily dragging a box over my bulky costume.
In the nick of time. Two pairs of shoes pop into my vision.
The priest halts.
"...Father...?"
"I thought I saw something..."
"It must be the Garrickson child playing tricks. I've seen him move things before. Pity he's not a virgin girl. We could've used him as our High Priestess-"
"Ah, the children are back already?"
My leg cramps up.
Come on, seriously, move.
"Yes, Father. And dosed. The guests grow eager for the main event."
"...As am I." An undertone of anger seeps into Carpainter's mesmerizing voice. "I can't wait to slit the throat of the boy who ruined my life."
"Ah, the Ne-"
"Don't say his name."
"Sorry, Father." Hesitation. "Forgive me for my impertinence... but about what happened to Captain Strong-"
"Strong stepped out of line. Master Porky knows I alone am faithful. I bring you proof - he alone has trusted us with the transportation of his most precious treasures." Carpainter's shoes shuffle to face the other pair. "...Have the-?"
"Yes, Father. Our brothers and sisters know better than to enter the Right Wing. Master Porky forbade us from touching his cargo from the Blue House, on pain of death." A gulp. "But Father Carpainter... what if someone tries to-?"
"Filch them?" The priest turns amused. "Sister Margaret, do you doubt the kindness of our family?"
She backtracks. "No, never, Father," she murmurs. "I was merely worried-"
"-as is just. Trust mustn't be dictacted by temptation. However, anyone who attempts to betray our family... and Master Porky's trust... will do it at the cost of their lives." At the sound of another pair of approaching footsteps, the priest sternly raises his voice. "Brother Harold, what are you doing on this floor? Two of the guests are still waiting on their ironed linens-"
Two thick boots fidget. "Ah- nothing, Father. I only wished to check on the children-"
"You need not concern yourself. They're safe."
The man with the boots mumbles a response under his breath. I recognize his voice as one of the men who confessed his sins at the Blue House.
The priest frowns. "Brother Harold-"
Almost as if the desperation's coaxed out: "Father Carpainter, please. Let me prove myself. If you let me safeguard the children-"
"I've already entrusted the keycard to Brother Martin. He shall do a fine job of keeping the children in line." The priest's tone shifts. Lighter. "No shame, my good man. This family is about love and forgiveness, and we love our children dearly. I understand. We all have needs," Father Carpainter says, and I imagine his eyes smiling. "But keep in mind... These virgins have claims upon them by Master Porky's most important clients. Should you betray our trust and attempt to defile these children-"
"It won't happen again, Father."
"I should hope not. Our family won't have another traitor like Brother Mathuel."
As if struggling with the words. "...Yes, Father." Then bitter. "Now may I use the bathroom, or do I require your permission for a Number Two-?"
A woman's gasp. "Just- How dare you address our Father in that manner-"
"Sister Margaret, it is quite all right. Certainly, Brother Harold. You may relieve yourself."
Brother Harold stalks off. Watching him leave, the female cultist fumes. "Father Carpainter, how dare he slander you, time and time again-"
"Sister, it is all right. A foul mood occasionally gets the best of us. One day, he will learn how to save him from himself. Blue...!"
"Blue, blue."
The shoes disappear in the opposite direction.
I heave a relieved breath.
"The hatchlings," Rope Snake whispers, and I glance at the locked door beside me. Now what? Do I rescue them now, or do I wait until we land? We're miles away from our destination, with nothing underneath us save empty air and sea.
The ship groans and shudders with altitude. Through the eye-holes of my mask, I spot fog seeping through the seams of the ceiling.
Suddenly, gloriously, a plan comes to mind.
Maybe everything I need is right here, on this ship.
People are inherently lazy. I'm banking on the thought that most people, even empaths, don't like to abandon their mental schemas, even when presented with new information. First impressions are everything. It's clear that the priest has bad history with one of his followers. If Father Carpainter distrusts him, and carries certain doubts about his character-
Then we'll make sure that Carpainter's self-fulfilling prophecy comes true.
First, the trapped victims.
Taking advantage of the empty wing, I reach out to each of the children's minds, and cast wards around them with a whisper - the same way I protected Tracy inside the van. I register the slight dip in my magic, but for the most part, am left satisfied. This should keep them safe until I can bust them out.
One mind starts, slow and sluggish, recoiling from my touch. I sense him clapping his hands over his ears.
The ginger haired boy. He must be the "troublemaker" the cultists spoke of.
Wh--Who's there?
I respond. A friend.
The mind brims with suspicion. How do I know you're not trying to trick us?
I'm not the priest. I press the memory of me on the roof into his head.
An undercurrent of thoughts. I knew you were a Smasher, he breathes. You came back for us.
What's your name?
I'm Tom. Tom Garrickson.
Tom, are the other children with you?
Yes.
I have a plan to bust you all out. I'll be back, but I'll need everyone to be quiet until then. Can you do that for me?
...Okay. Hurry, he whispers, fading away.
Now to visit our friend on a bathroom break.
Returning a wave at a few passerby cultists, I push myself into the men's room. Flipping over the sign to OUT-OF-ORDER, I lock the door behind me and take in the view.
Plastered with wallpaper of smiling octopi, the bathroom leads into a small lounge full of clothes hangers. Only the rightmost hanger is in use, propping up a familiar blue sheet.
Past that is a row of cubicles. Only one cubicle is occupied.
Now the disgusting part.
I wrinkle my nose. "Brother Harold."
"Can it, I've got to go."
Target check.
One expertly-cast PK Freeze later, Rope Snake pokes his head over the cubicle to check out the view.
"G-Gross," he complains.
Not deigning a response, I quickly wash my hands, nick Brother Harold's blue robes off its hook, and don it. The man's larger than me, hulking and heavy, but tossing the blue sheet over the bulky pigmask costume, it's hard to tell the difference. Either way, I'm not worried. Most of the cultists look the same in their robes.
Ideally, if I were Kumatora or Ness, PK Hypnosis would've done the job, but I had to make do with what I had. Cryogenics. A proper PK Freeze is more than just summoning a blocky chunk of ice. If done right, it should also freeze the state of the victim's mind and body. Cast carefully, I can decide how long I want the ice to last, and whether it'll evaporate or melt at the end of its cast life.
In this case, a PK Freeze that hopefully disappears without a trace.
Half an hour.
Timing is everything.
Suddenly, someone pounds on the bathroom door. "Why- Why is the bathroom Out of Order?! I was just here five minutes ago- Brother? Hello? Is anyone inside?"
"Stomach hurts," I grunt. "Gonna take a while. It's-" I glance at the cubicle with the frozen man on the toilet. "-not pretty."
The dude winces. "Oh. Should I wait for you?"
"It'll take me a while to clean up- but if you want me to rush-"
"No! No need, Brother. I'll take the other bathroom. You erm, you take your time washing up, I'll let the others know." I hear him leave.
Coast clear.
Gluing the bathroom door behind me with another PK Freeze between the hinges, I leave, hoping that the stuck door, the smell, and the Out of Order sign are enough to deter anyone from bumping into the frozen man. As I stroll into the storage closet, I swipe one of the large trolleys full of linens, dump in several packets of ear plugs, and do my best to blend in with the cultists.
Now to bust the children out.
Tom's done his job, because when I unlock the door and roll in, none of them speak up. Their eyes brighten up at the sight of the dirty linen cart. As they scramble for the earplugs - a protective measure against Carpainter - I count the heads and estimate three trips: 4, 4, 1. The cart can't squeeze in more than four people in one trip, and any more means I'll end up straining against the weight. As the oldest, Tom volunteers for the last trip.
Covering the cart with a thick layer of linens, I roll out.
The first trip goes smoother than I could've hoped. With Rope Snake signalling the all clear, we bump into no one. Even better, Meta Knight's Halberd makes for a good reference, because when I follow the red arrows leading to the emergency exit on the lowest floor, they lead us to a sealed metal door.
The cargo bay.
The one place no one checks until arrival.
It's the perfect place to hide. So long as we avoid lingering by the door, the luggage and the residual fog overhead should hide them. When I tap the cart safe, the first group hops out, and I wheel the linen cart back up the third floor. The second trip too works out without preamble.
One more trip.
"Last one," I say, and Garrickson hops into the linen cart. Once he's sufficiently covered with several layers of linen, I back out-
"Uh oh," Rope Snake warns.
I have just enough time to lock the door and shove the keycard down my sleeves before I'm stopped by someone rounding the corner.
Father Carpainter.
Underneath the linens, Garrickson's mind freezes up from horror. Despite his ear plugs, there's no doubt he recognizes the priest's dulcet tones.
Father Carpainter claps me on the shoulder. "Brother Harold, feeling all right?"
A sudden wave of guilt. The feeling oozes into my chest, worming itself into a heavy knot in my stomach-
I crush it down.
Father Carpainter's a decent empath, but his power mostly holds sway over crowds, where groupthink and radicalization are in play. One-to-one, his magic has little effect on me, especially when I know what to expect. It has no heart. He might've fooled people into revealing their darkest secrets, might've fooled me if I hadn't known better, but I've lived around Ness too long to fall for Carpainter's underhanded tricks.
Sorry, Father, but you won't be drawing out a confession from me.
Ignoring Father Carpainter's magic, I force myself to remain straight-faced, but underneath my costume, Rope Snake helpfully goes one step farther and rears his head-
Rope Snake, wait-
CHOMP.
I jerk.
The Father raises his brows. "Yes?"
"Nothing, Father," I manage in a passable imitation of Brother Harold, my eyes watering from the sting in my left arm.
Interpreting the jolt as a confession of guilt, Father Carpainter presses on, his magic slimy against my skin. "Still miss the children much? I told you, my good man, there is no need to worry about the- Heavens above, what is that awful smell?" Father Carpainter lifts up a linen, before scrunching up his nose and dropping it like a hot potato. He waves a free hand over his pinched nose. "...! It's... It's nice to see you all right, my dear man. After you dump those used linens, take care of those empty boxes. They're a sloppy sight for our esteemed guests, and a bad omen for our family," he says distractedly before turning to another passing cultist. "-ah, and Sister Juli, can you take care of the silverware-"
The other cultist awkwardly coughs. "Father- uh, it's me..."
"Oh! Well. Right, Brother Peter, carry on-"
When we leave Carpainter behind (he looks puzzled as he tests the doorknob, ensuring it's locked), I hear Garrickson sigh in relief.
...I guess even Father Carpainter can't tell everyone apart under their robes.
When I roll the linen cart down to the Cargo Bay, the waiting group stands up.
"We found these," a girl says, pointing at an opened storage compartment by her feet. A pile of parachutes and lifejackets. Not a bad start, but I dig through the emergency compartment for something else I can work with. Parachutes take prior experience to use, and while Ness has gone skydiving before, I haven't, and I don't trust my limited knowledge on the matter to keep them alive. Besides, from the looks of it, most of them look drugged, and I'd rather not let them jump out of a moving aircraft.
This SkyShip's a private aircraft for Porky's cliched "snobby Elites." If anything, they've got to have something better.
I kick open another emergency compartment. Then another.
Life boats. A private helicopter. A LifeBalloon - modeled after a hot balloon with an inflatable basket, it's easy to use, provides gentle landing, and floats on water. No good.
Then my eyes land on something promising.
A pork bean.
Spherical, with a 15-person carrying capacity, an oxygen convertor, and fridge, this is more than reasonable.
Perfect.
It's smart, really. Once the children go missing, the cultists would've expected them to have hidden themselves somewhere on the ship. Failing that, a betrayal from within. Even if they search the bunkers, the last place anyone would think of searching is inside a porkbean tucked away in an emergency compartment.
"Okay, everyone in," I say, sliding the door open. Once everyone settles inside, stuffing earplugs back into their ears, the generator starts with a magical pop. I hand my phone over; they might not get good signal down here, but my phone's got a tracker. As long as they keep to themselves and lie low, help should arrive. In theory.
I wish I could send them off with better supplies, but Rope Snake hisses in warning.
We're running out of time.
I slam down the lid to the emergency compartment, and make sure nothing's out of place. The clock in the hallway ticks. Two minutes to shove the linen cart on deck, another two to avoid a second bump-in with Carpainter.
Back in the 3rd floor bathroom, I slip my blue robe onto its rightful hook. Then with minutes to spare, I walk out of the lounge and peek over the occupied cubicle.
He's awake. My frost must be thawing out.
Brother Harold won't be stuck on the toilet forever.
In fact, his eyes fixate on me, frozen in fury. Though unable to speak, lips frozen shut, his expression sells his point. If he could speak his mind, it would probably sound something like this-
"You!" Brother Harold silently screeches, his pants at his ankles, his legs glued to the floor. His eyes bulge as he claws for my mask with his free arms. "Why am I stuck?! Did you do this? What is the meaning of this prank? Come back here!"
Time to blend back in.
To the Atrium.
In better spirits, Rope Snake high-fives me in premature celebration.
In hindsight, I should've known better. My plan worked out too well for what it was worth.
"Father Carpainter, the children are missing!" a voice cries down the hallway.
"Preposterous! We gave them the right dose-"
"Search the halls! If there's an imposter among our ranks, he can't have gone far!"
We were so close.
More footsteps. I hear people approaching, forcing me to slink away in the opposite direction. Away from the atrium, away from the left wing of the ship. No matter how many times I weave around the halls, more voices pop up around me, expanding their search.
Just as suddenly, the footsteps halt, and the voices drop.
Silence.
Then a lone voice creeps through the halls.
"Children," the voice says, his words soft and reassuring. Father Carpainter. "Come on out, my children, it is safe now-"
The back of my neck prickles with goosebumps. Despite being unaffected by his magic, I can still feel its pull, tugging and beseeching. Even Rope Snake shivers, feeling the vibration of Carpainter's voice crawl over his skin.
Father Carpainter's trying to lure the children out.
His plea echoes throughout the corridors, and I edge into another hall. Too late I realize it's a dead end.
I'm cornered.
"What n-now?" Rope Snake flusters when I back up against a painting. Another one of Porky's portraits. As if smug over his victory, Porky smirks down at us from his wooden frame, the oil paint thick and glossy. One of his pudgy palms is splayed open, revealing an old doorknob. It looks familiar...
"Not the time to a-a-appreciate art," Rope Snake rebukes, and my hands crackle with cold mist. No choice. I'll have to create cover-
Something digs into my back.
A saving grace. Behind me, I fumble for the doorknob in Porky's painted palm. It feels solid and real in my hands. When I pry the lock with my telekinesis, the door refuses to budge. It's bolted shut.
"Rope Snake-" I begin.
"O-On it."
Slithering from my pocket, Rope Snake slips through the keyhole. My fingers sweating, I pick the second lock on my end, while he strains to lift the bolts on the other side.
The shadows of the cultists billow upward against the painting-
Carpainter's voice grows louder-
I twist the doorknob-
-and stumble backwards into safety. Rope Snake smacks the door shut with his tail, and we wait, our breathing heavy, straining our ears to hear our pursuers.
The footsteps thump closer-
They echo past.
"That was close," Rope Snake rasps. "T-Too clo-"
But Rope Snake doesn't get to finish his sentence. Instead, he stares slackjawed behind me.
I turn around.
In the very center of the room, waiting almost expectantly in a moat, floats a toy boat the size of a ferry.
And on board, their faces plastered with plastic grins, looms a shrine stacked with Ness amiibos.
.
.
.
~oO0Oo~
.
.
.
.
Well.
I guess we found Porky's secret treasure horde.
I have to hand it to Sonic. At first glance, I can't tell how many Ness amiibos there are in Porky's Playroom. A thousand Ness amiibos, maybe more, all in perfect condition. Some in mint, unopened from their boxes. Some custom-made, painted in alt costumes. They're meticulously placed in some unseen order, under the careful eye of an avid collector. Unable to fit on the shrine, other Ness amiibos litter the ground in no particular order. It's almost impossible to step on a piece of floor that doesn't host an amiibo. They're like booby traps, scattered like leaves, and I carefully tip-toe my way to the toy boat without toppling any.
Their blank smiles and lack of eyebrows unnerve me.
To my disappointment, the real deal isn't here. Porky's taken no chances. He must've transported Ness to his Island as soon as he could.
On the other hand, I'm glad. I doubt Ness would've been flattered by the collection. More like disturbed.
Feeling like I'm thirteen again on my journey with Kumatora and Duster and Boney, I tug the chain, and the happy yellow boat chugs along its merry little ferry way.
This time, the ride through Porky's Hall of Memories is markedly different.
As if updated throughout the years, the boat passes childish cardboard pop-up figures of Ness and his friends - Ness listening to his Sound Stone with closed eyes and a smile, Paula praying with a desperate plea, Jeff blasting a bottle rocket, Poo transforming into a dragon. I spot other spoils from my own journey too: the Magypsys' mementos - all seven of them, neatly arranged in a circle. Fassad's brass horns. A Frozen Drago, preserved as perfectly as the day it died.
In contrast, two objects are missing. My blood turns cold when I don't spot The Absolutely Safe Capsule nor the Phase Distorter on their pedestals.
With a happy chime, the ferry takes me to the other side of Porky's Playroom.
I step into another sea of Ness amiibos.
There's only one Lucas amiibo in the cluster. Violently hurled against the ground, as if from an angry fit, it's missing an arm and an eye, with paint rubbed from its face. Choice phrases are scribbled all over it in thick sharpie. I read one, and snort. Lovely.
Rope Snake makes a rude raspberry noise. "C-Can I eat it?"
"No."
He retreats back into my pocket with a sulk. "F-Fine. You better not come crying to m-me when it eats at you."
Peeling my eyes off the dilapidated amiibo, I take in the rest of the room. Off to the side, bookshelves spill out crude bestseller Nesscas magazines, all stamped PORK PUBLISHING CORP on their binders. There's other porn mags with different tags, and to my disgust, I recognize my brother's name in a couple. I'm not exactly sure what Clausten or Luclaus are, but I don't want to know. Some books are better left unopened. Though it's obvious Porky finds savage satisfaction in fetishizing our relationship, the extent of his obsession over Ness never fails to surprise me. It's pitiful, the way he thinks that speaking big and acting big could compensate for his insecurities.
Pathetic.
I wade through more junk. Two more oil paintings of His Royal Majesty. A ripped diary, scribbled furiously in messy red crayon, depicting scenes Not Safe For Life. A ripped dartboard with my face. Ness's bag, thrown haphazardly against the wall. Relieved to see the Egg of Light nestled inside, I sling the bag over my shoulder.
There's other "treasures" in the room, but aside from the shrine of Ness amiibos and the Hall of Memories, two in particular stand out: an empty aquarium covered by a thick canvas (a wild energy buzzes in my mind), and a familiar spool of string.
Ness's yo-yo.
Through the glass case, I stare at the red yo-yo tucked almost reverently inside its jewelry pillow. The last time I tried to take this yo-yo from Porky's Playroom, it triggered an ambush that nearly wiped me off my feet. Reason tells me to leave it alone, but despite Ness's best reassurances, I know that he misses his old yo-yo. It holds indescribable worth to him, and doubly so after his adventure. If I take it with me, it'll have to be right before arrival.
The second treasure...
I can't dare to hope.
Filled with anticipation, I unzip the burlap cover.
It's exactly what I think it is. Another glass case of collector's items. Except underneath this one, there's 12 wooden plaques, each supporting golden dishes the size of my palm. Eleven of them are filled. Glazed-eyed like koi, their lifeless amiibos stare at me. Underneath each dish is a gold-plated caption:
YOSHI
KIRBY
FOX
JIGGLYPUFF
PIKACHU
NESS
SAMUS
LINK
CAPN FALCON
DK
MARIO
LUIGI
...Except under Luigi's name is another amiibo, one with a shock of blue hair. Marth.
I forgot Luigi was one of the Twelve. Why didn't he bring it up? Why didn't he correct any of us? Even during my sulkfest, I knew that he worked his ass off as Acting Hand, boosting morale after Ness filled in his three weeks. He probably even worked behind the scenes when Ness was Acting Hand. Either Porky was careless, or simply didn't care to include Luigi in his collection. He even replaced Luigi for another character - The ultimate backhand. Despite Porky's cunning, I can believe that even he bought the rumors, incorrectly believing Luigi as useless and inferior for his collection.
In a way, Luigi's ability to blend into the background saved him from his brother's fate. Being overlooked by his foes played to his advantage.
That must've been the angle Master Hand pushed for.
This makes me feel a bit better. With Luigi's leadership on the playing field, we might actually have a chance.
The other empty dish is Ness's. Again, no surprise, but I'm still disappointed when I don't see the familiar gold amiibo on his dish. Porky's probably shipped Ness and other stuff over first, arranging for his other trophies to follow after. The bait-and-switch feels almost intentional, like a slap in the face.
It's like Subspace all over again.
"N-Not so fast," Rope Snake warns when I reach for the amiibos. He's right.
There.
I test Ness's empty dish with my telekinesis just to make sure. It wobbles. Sure enough, I see the trap.
These plates are pressure-sensitive. Weight-sensitive, and Ness's yo-yo is tripped the same way. The second I remove one of the 12, I have no doubt it'll trigger an alarm.
The ship shudders. When I brace my feet against inertia, the intercom overhead turns on, and I share an alarmed glance with Rope Snake. One hour until arrival.
We're landing soon.
Keeping my stance, I glance again at the Twelve.
I've got an idea.
.
.
.
~oO0Oo~
.
.
.
.
Father Carpainter was having a bad day.
First, Mister Nathan and his crew failed to show up on time with the boy and girl. A bad omen. Carpainter was forced to lay down Master Porky's order, to kill off every slave inside the Blue House, leaving only nine of Porky's best children on the voyage. What a waste of sacrifices.
"I already have enough friends to keep me company," Master Porky had wheezed. "So unless you want me to turn you into one, I suggest you do as you're told, Mister Carpainter. "
And now, Porky's nine prized children were missing. Potentially dead. Porky Minch had a voracious appetite, and high quality Harvests were hard enough to come by these days.
Oh yes, Carpainter was not a happy man.
Someone was going to pay.
As if feeling his foul mood, his followers shifted uneasily. With barely a second thought, Father Carpainter murmured under his breath, and instantly, a modicum of calm soothed them down. As it should. No one was able to challenge his authority. If they could, they were too dangerous to be kept alive.
Speaking of the Devil-
"Father Carpainter," one cultist cried, dragging another blue-robed man by the torso. The crowd parted before them. "We've brought the heathen. He was screaming in the halls about an imposter-"
"Set him at my feet."
The cultists murmured as Brother Harold tumbled into the floor. A few people wrinkled their nose at the smell. The man looked hastily dressed, his blue robe doing a poor job of obscuring the stench of his soiled drawers. Despite the cultists' blind solidarity, the same thought passed through each of their minds:
Boy, I'm glad that's not me.
The poor man looked belligerent - his upturned face was mottled red from outrage, his mouth still sputtering excuses. The perfect image of a soul drowning in his sins.
Father Carpainter had no pity for the man. If anyone had the right to be belligerent, it was he. "You almost had us, Brother Harold. I even mistook you for a changed man. Changing the linens indeed."
"-Father, I-"
"Do you plead guilty?"
"No! Father, I was in the bathroom-"
A simple matter. "Overturn your pockets, Brother Harold."
"Easy! Here-" The man stuffed his hands into his pockets. Then froze.
Clearly a liar. Father Carpainter nodded at the nearest Klansmen, and watched Brother Harold writhe against the ground. There were always a few troublemakers who resisted his magic and dared to ruin his reputation. Master Carpainter caught them all anyway.
"Get your hands off me, you fuckin' knobheads-" the man screamed as two others wrestled him flat. Something clattered onto the ground.
"...Stealing," Father Carpainter said softly, holding up the keycard. "Brother Harold, do you know the price for stealing? An eye for an eye, a hand for a hand. You've cried Wolf for the last time. Master Porky shall personally hear of your misdeeds-"
"No, please, I saw the thief," Brother Harold gasped. "He had blue eyes... in one of the pink costumes. A member of Master Porky's party! He snuck up on me and ambushed me in the bathroom-"
A blistering wave of rage extinguished him.
"You commit treason against our High Lord Master Porky, accuse one of his honorable clients, and insult our most sacred color. You have lied for the last time, heathen," The priest roared, spittle flying from his mouth, jabbing a dangerously sparking finger into the sinner's face. Catching himself, Father Carpainter calmed down. "Brother Aaden. Step forward."
A man shuffled from the crowd. "Father Carpainter."
"You are certain you heard Brother Harold in the bathroom?"
"I believe it was him, Your Grace. He had soiled himself, and refused entry into the bathroom."
"And Brother Martin, you say that the keycard was in your possession before Brother Harold relieved himself...?"
Another fear-stricken man nodded like a bobblehead. "Yes, Father - I'm sure. He must've stolen it. There is no other way - I was careful, I would never have let it out of my sight-"
"And what of the lookout?"
"He found a linen cart, Father. Hidden behind the water barrels. The lookout admitted missing someone in the fog, but believes that the children have been dumped overboard-"
"Cowards!" Brother Harold screamed, but it was no use. They all knew what awaited him, and no one wanted to be his sacrificial lamb. "Father, they lie-"
"It is clear what happened here. You used the bathroom to satisfy your own self-indulgence... you disposed of Master Porky's children to extinguish their voices, and lastly, you lied to all these good men and women. By denying any wrongdoing, you betray our family. Hold him down."
"One of us, one of us-"
"Blue, blue, blue-"
"Father, please!"
The lines in Carpainter's face darkened. "You were never one of us. May God strike you down where you stand."
"I saw him, I'm telling the truth-" Like a man gone rabid, Brother Harold clawed at the floor as the chanting crowd swallowed him up. As the mob turned against one of their own, the priest raised a glowing finger. "He had blue eyes- let go of me! Father, no!"
A flash of blue lightning.
A tortured scream.
Throughout the commotion, no one noticed their thief quietly sneaking back to the atrium.
And several hundred miles away, Ness awoke from his drug-induced slumber.
Author's Note:
[EDIT 9/4/20]: Corrected some terms in the last chapter (i.e. Osoho, Chimaera, etc). Also confused Phase Distorter and Time Distorter too (saw Phase Distorter as a prototype of the Time Distorter, and ended up assuming both were the same device), so I'll look into that as well. Thank you, MaximizeCharisma!
Me: am lazy and cant write 1k+ words for a class assignment
Also Me: somehow conjures up a 23k+ chapter on Lucas driving like a crazy soccer mom
thank you for listening to my ted talk
Some notes: Carpainter is a minor empath in this chapter. While able to influence the emotions of others around him, he is unable to feel the feelings of his followers.
And on the rooftop, when Lucas was in costume, Garrickson recognized him because of Rope Snake.
Also wanted to add: all of you are so fucking smart, it scares me. It motivates me to work twice as hard on my writing, because I know you expect a certain standard. You keep me from slacking. Thank you for reading, including all of you who are too shy to review. I'm humbled.
Stay safe :)
Review responses:
Forestfire3470: Another good question that (hopefully) should be clarified in a later chapter :D One of my readers asked me the same question about the animal stampede, so you're not alone haha! And thank you for the pass! I honestly hate expo dumps, but made this an exception because it was more my interpretation of M3 events, and precisely for the reasons you've stated! And yeah, Lucas might be a badass, but his driving is atrocious :'D ya cant be pro at everything lol
Conna: IKR MY CHAPTERS ARE TOO FRICKNG LONG LIKE WTF! Also I appreciate your POV crit; I honestly forgot I was speaking Tracy's POV, and didn't even realize the switch had occurred until you pointed it out D: But I agree, I think that Tracy is definitely strong, and also don't think the "protags fawning over hostages" situation would apply to her either. NGL I did nervous-sweat after reading this, because in contrast, Tom Garrickson and the children are pretty helpless in this chapter, but they did their best D: But I am really glad I was able to hit you with the feels, and glad that you picked out the reality of Claus's death - it shouldn't be romanticized, and I did my best to acknowledge it while not delving into explicit details.
Nyxnsu: brO I feel like I've been slowly adding my chapter count because of this chapter split (and potentially Ness's). Hopefully I won't have to split Ness's chapter, but we'll see. :D Either way, I am dead certain that this fic will finish before 50 chapters. And I'm happy that the Lucas and Claus reunion hit the feels! I was really worried over that scene last chapter, so I'm relieved to hear it pulled through :) PLEASE STAY SAFE ON THE ROAD LMFAO DONT DRIVE LIKE LUCAS
anon: AYY YOURE BACK! Thank you for reading. Hoping Part II didn't disappoint :D
MaximizeCharisma: FF had review problems, so I saw your review just as I uploaded, but was unable to respond to it until later aaa. Bro you have an author friend? Props to them, writing is hard! In terms of chapter count, I'm aiming for Ness's POV next, then Lucas's POV, then Ness's POV, then an epilogue! Give or take two chapters. Even if I end up writing more than I expect, I should still finish before chapter 50 :D And no worries about your review length, I just appreciate the time you put into your reviews. I know my readers are busy, so any feedback is welcome :)
I have no excuse for Leder's omission in Lucas's summary of M3 - I actually forgot Leder existed for a hot sec LMFAO. I did plan on having him return in a future chapter, so it's not the last we've seen of him :) Like you said, since the Egg of Light is a record of sentient properties, I imagined the "past Lucas" in the Egg of Light to have some knowledge of the alternate timelines/universes because of the Dark Dragon, but it's definitely unclear, and "Egg of Light Lucas" does know an awful LOT for someone who refers his present self to Claus like a receptionist in a Walmart. I think I'll just take the L for this one ;) Good catch!
Aah, I was worried about that (the confusion around the three Lucas-es? Lucai? LOL WHAT IS THE PROPER PLURAL FORM?). I had no idea how to distinguish them better, so ended up going with what I had :( And it makes me feel better that you have such a good grasp of EB/M3 Lore - I need to replay both EB and M3, since I haven't either in a while, and only played EB once :D For some reason, I thought of the Phase Distorter as a prototype of the Time Distorter, and accidentally ended up fusing the two together! I'll figure out what to do with the Time Distorter/Phase Distorter confusion next chapter, but I'll revise its definition under the chapter References later. And as for the movie scene, you're right; though Porky's defeat is never explicitly shown on screen, I imagined that Lucas saw Ness and his friends on an adventure to save the world, and with this movie airing in New Pork City, had an inkling that Porky might be related in some way, but this is more my interpretation. :) If you go by the movie screens themselves, it definitely doesn't show much (aside from Porky's fixation on Ness and his longing for the past(?)). And I agree, I wish I spent more time fleshing out Claus's arc, but at least I'm happy with how it ended :D And heh Smash Mansion is the safest place in the world, the same way Hogwarts is - so not very safe
Dragos were mentioned in Chapters ~36-37, when Kumatora showed up to save the Tazmily Villagers. That, and I just wanted to write Lucas's entrance in an epic way. :D jkjk, I'll go into more detail on the animal stampede in a future chapter :) SP REFERENCES YES YOU CAUGHT THE WILD NATHAN AND MIMSY (and marv lol shoot me I was watching Home Alone the day before). and no worries my dude, there is no luclaus in ba sing se (seriously that would be wack, tho I've seen some strange ships in the EB fandom)
Ahaha yeah, I know the explanation about the time paradox is a bit confusing, and it will (hopefully) be expanded on next chapter. How I view the time paradox:
(1) Porky escapes from the Chosen Four, causing the results of M3.
(2) Lucas pulls the 7th Needle and fuses the timelines together.
(3) Before the events of EB in this fused timeline, child Porky learns of child Lucas, and of child Lucas's friendship to child Ness.
(4) After the events of EB in the fused timeline, Child Porky flees the Chosen Four into a world of M3. The same Porky grows older, finds Claus and mistakes him for Lucas (torturing Claus and turning him into the Masked Man), confronts the ACTUAL Lucas in the world of M3, then finally realizes that -hold on - Lucas is the same stupid kid he saw with Ness in the fused timeline, wtf!
(5) Lucas pulls the 7th Needle and fuses the timelines (freeing Porky from the Absolutely Safe Capsule). Returning to the fused timeline with both sets of memories, and his body no longer a child because of all the strain from time traveling, Porky grows powerful, plans on a way to make Lucas's life absolutely miserable, and moves to Smash City, etc etc.
Basically, Porky wouldn't have previously known about Lucas if Lucas hadn't fused the timelines, and Lucas wouldn't have fused the timelines if Porky hadn't arrived. Aka everything is confusing because porky minch dun fucked up
I didn't notice the POV shift either! Lucas was too busy being badass that I got distracted and hopped from Tracy's POV to Nathan's :) I hope this chapter explained Carpainter's involvement (and my take on his character shift), though to be fair, some characters are OoC (i.e. Rope Snake). AND TRUE, Lucas lost control of the wheel only because of the stupid bananas but shhh I just wanted to write about Lucas being an awful driver :D IDK why, but the thought of a careful kid like Lucas driving like a complete wacko makes me laugh! And I'll definitely reconsider adding the search part explanation in chapter 37.
Thanks for reviewing :)
*A refresher on some key devices in EB/MOTHER 3:
-Pork Bean: A hovercraft-like vehicle. Resembles a tiny pink/white spaceship.
-Absolutely Safe Capsule: Designed by Dr. Andonuts, Jeff's father. Made to be impenetrable. However it comes with one flaw: it seals anything or anyone inside for "eternity". At the end of MOTHER 3, Porky shuts himself inside, thwarting Lucas and co once and for all.
-Phase Distorter: A time machine. Porky uses this to escape from Ness's timeline in EarthBound, and land in Lucas's in MOTHER3. Note: this device is mentioned in this fic as the prototype for the SkyTrain, making Jeff rich and famous.
*In MOTHER 3, on their way to confront Porky, Lucas and co passes a room dubbed the "Hall of Memories." It provides further foreshadowing on the identity of "King Porky" (as Porky Minch from Earthbound). Porky also has a separate Playroom in Thunder Tower, but I combined both concepts into one.
*In MOTHER 3, Pork Troopers (Pigmasks) are soldiers under Porky's army. Their salute has been compared with the Nazi salute. While some members were brainwashed in or joined out of their own will, others joined to make an honest living. Though treated as enemies for the most part, and while not all the soldiers are inherently "cruel and evil" (i.e. the Clay Factory manager, the pigmask who stayed behind to care for Lydia's rabbits, etc), they are most often enemies who will fight Lucas and co. Their uniforms come in four distinct colors, in increasing importance:
-Pink (gruntwork)
-Blue (Captain)
-Green (Major)
-White (Colonel; only rank with a cape)
*In MOTHER 3, the doorknob is a recurring gag (fell off Flint's house during Chapter 1)
*The quote on Porky's SkyShip is based on the Pigmask Notebook in MOTHER 3:
All the creatures here suck.
We need to make 'em cooler.
So the theme will be:
-Tougher!
-Rougher!
-Badder!
We'll mix this and that to create whole new things no one's ever seen before!
I dub it the Fascinating Chimera Project. Let's reconstruct and modify stuff slowly and steadily.
*In EARTHBOUND, Lardna is the mother of Porky and Picky Minch. After her husband Aloysius beats her sons offscreen, she merely says, "My husband is too lenient with the children." However, Porky has an unsual fixation on his mother in Mother 3, even going as far as to create bots of her likeness to serve customers in a cafe in New Pork City. In this chapter, he names one of his SkyShips after her.
*Early in EARTHBOUND, Carpainter orders Porky around as a henchman to kidnap Paula. Upon defeat by Ness, Carpainter claimed that he only wanted Paula to be his High Priestess and that he was under the influence of the Mani Mani statue, but this AU makes a twist on if Carpainter wasn't as innocent as he seemed - A man named Everdred even mentions later on that Carpainter had planned on using Paula as a human sacrifice, so it's possible that Carpainter pretended to repent once defeated by Ness, and leaped at the chance to regain his position of power under Porky Minch.
*In MOTHER1, Tom Garrickson's child (NPC: "Garrickson baby") is a baby that teaches Ninten and Ana how to teleport. Though the baby sprite doesn't disclose much about his appearance, he has red/orange hair. His first name isn't provided, but I accidentally named him Tom (incorrectly thought that "Tom" was the name of the baby, and not the father).
*KONAMI CODE (Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A) is a cheat code that appears in KONAMI games.
*The chatroom in this chapter is influenced by Persona5, where several anons speak on the Fan site on the loading screen.