Through Thick and Thin

by RainyTazmily

As Ness struggles to wrestle back strange feelings for his best friend, Lucas wonders over the long-term holes in his own memory. Celebrity life as a Smasher has never been so difficult. Earthbound/Mother3 Time Paradox AU. Teenage Nesscas AU. Dark Elements.

43. It's Over (Part 2)

"I've gone through time and space so many times I haven't aged like a normal person. Who knows, I might be 1000 years old, or even 10,000 years old. But despite that, I'm still the same kid at heart! Is that funny?"

-Porky Minch, Mother 3

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Ness's POV has been divided into 2 parts.

This is Part II.

Thank you for your support.

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Trigger Warning: This chapter contains disturbing themes. Approach with caution.

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Grandiose beyond all expectation, Porky's dinner party takes place in his movie theatre. Idle chatter fills the expanse, champagne glasses ringing through the night, blue-robed cultists catering to their guests' every whim.

Two people stray from the party.

"So you tell me... that you lost my favorite boys and girls?" Porky repeats slowly in the lounge, surrounded by his presents. As a woman's shrill laughter breaks into the background, Carpainter swallows with difficulty.

"Regrettably."

"Unfortunate... But accidents can't be helped," Porky groans, impatiently snapping his fingers for his aid. The Porky Bots hurry out with his baggage, and Porky himself picks out his most prized possessions like a scavenger. "Carpainter... never forget. You are special, among my men. This is why I trust you with my affairs."

"Thank you, Master Porky. You are most generous."

"At least you acknowledge it." Wheezing, Porky pats the roof of his Pork Bean, and another congo line of Porky Bots scurries over to lift it away. "You have the poison?"

"Yes, sir. Will you be joining us for dinner...?"

"That depends. Did you bring everything I asked for?"

"Of course, sir. No one was allowed to touch your belongings-"

"Where is my yo-yo?"

Carpainter starts. "Is it not there?"

In a violent mood whiplash, Porky shoves the empty glass container off its pedestal. When its jagged pieces skitter across the floor, a stray Ness amiibo bounces to a stop at Carpainter's feet with a glazed smile.

"My prized possession. Is missing," Porky wheezes, kicking a present box aside. His shoes hack the box into an unrecognizable shape. "Yes, it's not here, you dimwit. So tell me, where is it?"

Bowing his head, Carpainter's face turns sallow. He looks as if he's swallowed a lemon. "I don't-"

"Someone knew about my pressure sensor. I doubt any of your slobbering oafs went through my things, unless..." As if struck by a sudden thought, Porky halts in his tracks. "Carpainter. Did you check the ship for stowaways?"

"Of course. Everyone was accounted for-"

"Check on the Twelve."

"Master Porky, I assure you-" Carpainter's mouth strains with the force of holding his smile. "I personally checked all the guests thrice before letting them on board. I am a powerful man. The stowaway would have confessed to me in no time if they had illegally boarded the ship-"

"Shut your mouth," Porky wheezes back. "If I say there's a stowaway, there's a stowaway. Go to the party, and check on the Twelve. Speed things up for me. I'm busy packing."

As Porky turns away, Carpainter unwisely cuts in. "Ah... what about Ness? I want him for my sacrifice-"

"Carpainter," Porky groans. "Are you curious about Ness's whereabouts?"

"Yes, I-"

"Do you really want to know?"

Sensing the loaded question, Carpainter closes his mouth.

"Good." Porky's voice turns unusually soft. Like a whisper. "Then you can join him on the top floor. I'm teaching him a lesson he'll never forget. He'll make it out alive..." The look in Porky's eyes chills Carpainter's blood. "...But will you?"

Minutes later, a disgruntled Carpainter retraces his footsteps to Porky's movie theatre, passing two of his startled followers down the stairs.

"Father-" one starts.

"Sister Maria, Brother Emanuel. Follow me backstage," he interrupts, layering his voice up the nines. Sharing a glance, his followers trail behind him. As they always did. No one could stand against his power of persuasion.

They traipse into the crowded movie theatre.

On the stage lit with dim red lights, younger members of Porky's fan club dance with pink silk scarves that float like gossamer wings. Under the predatory eyes of their audience, they turn, shaking the beads on their ankles, and Porky's guests eat up the performance like a five-star buffet. As the dancing ends on a feverish pitch, one man beckons a cultist over, as if to point out the girl with the tambourine, and the cultist bows low before whisking the child away. A few other stragglers haggle on various dancers from Porky's fanclub, as if choosing their cut of wagyu beef in the supermarket. Another girl with purple bracelets. A woman with long blond hair.

As fast it happens, the haggling ends, and the lights turn back up.

"Not many buyers today," Carpainter notes quietly, watching a small crowd disperse to the bedrooms with their pick. "But it will have to do. Come along, you two. You'll get your share later."

His robes billowing behind him, Carpainter wades into the sea of people, Sister Maria and Brother Emanuel trailing close behind. On the way, they bump into guests and cultists alike. Sharing a nod with Sister Maria, a shorter cultist with a mustache bounces away to secure the doors, and delivering praise and platitudes, Carpainter sweeps the guests off their feet with his charisma.

Recognizing Carpainter, one pigmask booms. "Well, if it isn't the blue blue man himself! My wife," he adds with a laugh, introducing the white pigmask next to him.

"Charmed," Carpainter murmurs, kissing the back of her hand. "I take it that Happy Hour is going well?"

"The hors d'oeuvres are excellent. The food never disappoints." The man gestures at his own belly as a joke. "A shame they're terrible for my waistline."

"But we're waiting for the main event, of course," his wife smiles, as if selecting clothes from a fashion magazine. "Anyone you recommend?"

Playing the part of gracious host, Carpainter snaps his fingers, and another cultist scurries over in the guise of a waiter. "Number Seven," Carpainter says, tapping his finger on the clipboard, and the cultist tallies the score on the menu. "Number Eight is also free tonight-"

"We know all about Porky's usual. We want someone fresh, no one from the fan club. Porky never disappoints with his stock from the Blue House-"

"Our stock has been... compromised tonight, but we'll be shipping quality stock over in the next batch. Would you like to preview the merchandise? We have a selection of IDs, and many young bodies you can browse-"

"That would be perfect. I had my eye on the catalogue until I heard that Link might be on the menu tonight... but my husband loves Samus too much. He has a thing for busty blondes ever since his first concert with Venus."

"Ah, in that case-" Carpainter reaches into his breast pocket. "Master Porky knows a man. A director in the celebrity industry. I can give you his business card."

"Excellent," the man says, taking the card and shaking his hand. "Glad doing business with you."

"Likewise. Enjoy the party."

On that final note, Carpainter beckons to his two cultists, and they silently follow him into the backroom like shadows.

Cast aside as an antique from an earlier time, an old TV hums in the corner of the breakroom, playing a black-and-white 70s sitcom. A man in a tophat slides into the screen with a joke. Canned laughter and applause follow.

Caught slacking off in their huddle of white plastic chairs, a group of cultists drop their appetizers. "Uh, Father Carpainter-"

"The guests are waiting," Carpainter says pleasantly.

"Yes, Father." Shamefaced, the posse scurry out the door, leaving Carpainter and his two sidekicks behind.

Instructing his two brethren to keep guard, Carpainter crouches under the bed and heaves out a heavy glass case.

Master Porky was an old delusional fart. Nothing could get past him, not when Carpainter had an army of cultists at his beck and call. No one could've filched the 12 before the main auction. Not when each plaque was boobytrapped.

But Master Porky had seemed off his rocker, and no one lived to argue with Master Porky a second time. With an impatient sigh, Carpainter clasps the tarp with both hands, lifts it up, and-

In place of the Twelve, the faces of twelve Ness amiibos smile back at him.

Swearing, Carpainter starts for the door, but finds it jammed, the knob cold. As Carpainter backs away, frost creeps across the walls.

The old TV shudders and whines more insistently like a generator.

Basked in the eerie glow of the TV, Sister Maria steps forward.

Outstretching his arms, Carpainter smiles. "Sister Maria," he begins, unfazed. "Could you be a dear and-"

He gasps when Sister Maria wrestles him into an expert chokehold and places a blaster to his temple.

"No you," Samus deadpans, her stolen pistol humming with energy. "Talk. What did you do with Ness, you perverted scum?"

"Miss Samus...? Let's calm down, I'm sure you have questions-" Speaking through his laugh, Carpainter layers his magic on her full force, but Samus's gun doesn't falter. Instead, her grip tightens on his wind pipe, choking him off. "H-How-"

She gives a curt tilt of her head. Ear plugs. Too late, Carpainter realizes that she's reading his lips.

A crackle of static. The buzzing of the TV intensifies.

The Brother beside her lowers his hood. The boy's eyes glow with a magic that makes Carpainter's skin shiver.

He had blue eyes, Brother Harold had said.

Shit.

The boy breaks into a hard smile.

Screaming into a feverish pitch, the old TV explodes into a shower of sparks.

"You.. you're the brat Master Porky-" Abandoning all recourse, Carpainter struggles and flails over the table, scattering the stolen IDs and passports of his victims in his wake. He screams for his cultists, but can't find the air to speak. No one arrives.

Clawing at his throat, Carpainter strains to pull off a lightning bolt, but at the flick of the boy's fingers, his own hands turn rigid. Telekinesis. One by one, each of his fingers move of their accord, flexing backwards into an unnatural angle.

Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack.

...Crack.

Through watering eyes, Carpainter makes out the outline of another ship approaching on the horizon...

The Halberd.

"Hello, Mr. Carpainter. It's nice to meet you," Lucas says, the look in his eyes betraying the calm in his voice. "If you want to live, you better do as Samus says. I wouldn't count on her trigger control to save you."

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~Chapter Forty-Three~

It's Over

(NESS POV PART 2/2)

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I make the first move.

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...

I dash for the exit.

Not the most heroic thing to do, but this isn't a video game. Forget save points, I might as well skip the Boss Fight and kickstart the Rescue Sister mission. But when I fling myself against the doors, they hold.

Bolted shut.

Damn.

As if on cue, Porky's wheeze of laughter fizzles through the Statue's mouth. God is his voice annoying.

Ignoring the mocking drone, I turn back around to face my foe. The sedative's wearing off. I don't know if the guards messed up the dose, but I'm not complaining. If I can't run, I might as well kick some stone ass. I snap my fingers, hoping for a PK Fire, but get smoke. Another snap leads to a tiny flame the size of a matchstick.

Wow, I could sure inflict some serious damage with this. Maybe even toast a smore.

The giant porky statue strolls over.

Combat instincts kicking in, I aim for the statue's legs first, but the statue swats me aside like a fly. I'm so outclassed, it's laughable. It's pathetic. I don't why I expected a fair fight. Porky's always been a liar, but a part of me still feels betrayed. I thought he would've at least told me the truth one last time.

Emitting another deafening wheeze, the statue whips its arms around, and I dodge another heavy-handed karate chop. The statue's deceptively fast for its bulky size. It doesn't stop, doesn't hesitate, doesn't lose steam. I imagine Porky's real wheeze of laughter if he saw me being slapped around silly, and terror to live crushes any lingering hope out of my head.

Then I catch sight of the Absolutely Safe Capsule.

I think about my sister trapped here, somewhere. There's no way I'm letting her down.

There's no fucking way I'm grovelling to Porky in my last moments.

I clumsily duck under another slap that sails over my head and shatters the mural of Saint Jesus Porky. How Porky's party guests don't hear all this racket is a mystery. They must be deaf. Or hopped up on something.

Going on the offensive, I try to bait the Porky Statue into smashing the doors open, but instead, it reaches for me with its stubby fingers. I dive out of the way, and the arm shoots past me, shredding the carpet like cheese. Frantically searching around for a weapon, my eyes land on the Absolutely Safe Capsule, its door ajar...

That's it.

Porky can't trap me in the Absolutely Safe Capsule if it's already shut.

"Over here, dumb dumb," I scream, waving my arms.

The King Statue wheezes. It stretches out its hand to pin me me against the floor-

I slide under the statue's legs like a pro baseball player tagging home.

Ignoring the twinge of pain stabbing up my bad leg, I collide against the Absolutely Safe Capsule. I wrestle with its door, but no matter how hard I push, the door refuses to budge. Desperate now, I body slam it like a sumo wrestler. The door barely shudders. Geez, what is this door made of? Gorilla glue? It's practically immobile-

The unexpected punch knocks the wind out of me.

Skidding over the tiles like a pebble, I wobble to my knees before coughing out blood. Shit. I think that blow broke something. One rib, maybe two? This is the worst beat-down I've taken since Giygas.

A disorienting wheeze assaults my ears. When the giant hand looms over me, I try to scramble out of its way, but that's all the warning I get before I'm dangling upside down by the leg. The room tilts like a merry-go-round when all the blood rushes to my head. The next thing I know, I'm upright again, struggling inside the statue's stony grip, stuck tighter than a vacuum seal.

Ow, my everything hurts.

Porky's wheeze cuts into the daze. I'm too woozy to make out his words, but the message is clear.

He's taunting me.

Ignoring him, I yank my left arm free and pound uselessly against the Statue's fingers.

"-stop it, Ness, I can't breathe," Porky gasps through his statue. "You... ignoring me, trying to fight for your sister's life. It's all so..." The fist gives me a warning squish, and my eyes bug out. Like I'm a squeeze toy. It's a massive blow to my pride. "...Lame."

"Does this make you feel tough? Throwing every handicap you have at me to make it even? That's lame," I shoot back, though with the little air I have, I'm squeaking like a rubber chicken. "Now stop monologuing so I can beat you up fair and square, you coward-"

The heavy fist crushes my ribs, forcing me to gasp like a fish out of water. Jesus, I'm wheezing almost as badly as Porky. Through watery eyes, I can make out the outline of the Absolutely Safe Capsule swimming closer.

"and you talk big, for someone so small." The night lends shadows on the statue's unsmiling face. "Ness... It's not too late. You can still take your words back. Let me take care of you. Just say the word."

"Eat dirt."

Porky wheezes with delight. The growing buzz in my ears drowns out his last words.

The walls spin. There's a swooping sensation in my gut, before I'm stuffed unceremoniously inside the Absolutely Safe Capsule... the same way my mom stuffs the Thanksgiving turkey. My hand sluggishly flops out in a last ditch attempt to escape, but I know it's a losing battle. My vision's going spotty, and I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open. Even the King Statue must know I'm done for, because it sure is dragging out the moment.

My life flashes before my eyes.

This is it. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die here alone in a pool of my own blood, trapped forever in the Absolutely Safe Capsule, my sister sold to some religious wingnut I was responsible for. The Smashers might find me here, but Porky's hidden his island too well. It'd take them weeks to triangulate this place. By the time they find me here, it'll be too late. I'll be stuck in this stupid metal box forever.

I never got to make amends with Paula. I never got to tell Lucas I cared about him. I'm never going to see my mom again.

The King Statue clenches the door of the Absolutely Safe Capsule.

My chest sears.

Mom, I'm sorry. I know how hard it was when dad left. You told me to be careful, but I ignored you. I should've been a better son. You always called me your hero... but some hero I ended up being.

I couldn't even save my own sister.

I couldn't even save myself.

The death metal scream in my head intensifies. Great, I'm bleeding away and can't even find peace in my final moments. I force another grimace when my headache spikes. It's exactly like the time Neckbeard sicced his slaves on us. If this pain didn't make me wish I was dead, nothing else would.

From faraway, as the King Statue pushes the door shut, I watch my freedom close into a sliver-

Then a bright green light blinds my eyelids, exploding into a supernova.

With a shudder that vibrates through the floor, hot dust and rubble rains down onto my skin. When dust catches in my throat, I cough it out, my eyelids heavy. What's going on? Is Porky back? As the dust settles, footsteps ring through my ears. I'm dragged back onto the tiles, the glass ceiling blurring into my sight. Someone grabs me by the face, before the hands fly to my chest, feeling up the broken ribs, the broken leg.

"Stop, that tickles," I gasp, but my chest sears again, white hot, and the hands return. Something warm washes over my face, licking over my injuries like a flame. Whatever it is, it makes my whole body go lax, like I'm melting into a pool of euphoria.

...Magic.

My chest continues to sear. Somewhere within the slippery mess of empathy links, one radiates like a hot wire. With the last of my strength, I reach for the glowing empathy link. It burns like a hot coal in my hands.

I clasp it tight.

Everything explodes with color. A myriad of emotions swim around my fingers like silvery minnows in a lake. Waiting with bated breath, I give the empathy link a small tug...

Slowly, I feel it. A faint tug back.

I sluggishly blink the fog away. A face swims into my vision.

"Sorry I'm late. Are you okay?" Lucas says, a healing glow dying from his hands. His eyes look brighter than usual.

I throw myself onto him, and Lucas staggers backwards from the force of the hug. I can't stop babbling. "I thought you were... Porky said... then I lost your shoes-"

"What about my shoes? Hold on, sit. You're still in bad shape-"

"...My sister." I lurch forward, but Lucas pushes me back down.

"She's safe, you're the one we were worried about." Adjusting the cast on my leg, Lucas eyes the bloody trail from the Absolutely Safe Capsule, as if he's dragged a bleeding corpse back to life - Oh, right. Me. Glancing at the Absolutely Safe Capsule smeared in blood, I wince and wipe my hands clean on my shirt. Jesus, it looks like something died in there.

Lucas's mouth presses into a thin line. "...Porky tried to trap you inside."

"Yeah." When Lucas gets to his feet, I start, "There's no point. The door won't budge-"

In a burst of psychic power that streaks through the air and sends shockwaves rippling across the walls, Lucas slams the door shut. Skidding across the floor from sheer momentum, the Absolutely Safe Capsule blasts away like a pinwheel before coming to a grainy halt at a fractured statue of Cupid Porky.

...Thud.

Cupid Porky wobbles and disintegrates.

And just like that, Lucas returns, patting the dust off his hands.

I faintly stare at him. "...Have I ever said how much I love you? Because I love you."

"Let's talk about that when Porky isn't trying to kill us." Slinging my bag over my arms, Lucas pulls me up to my feet, but my legs wobble, my balance uneven from the cast. As if noticing my barefoot state, he kicks off one of his shoes and ties it firmly over my left foot. The gesture makes me warm inside. "Can you stand?"

"Yeah. Gimme a sec, I'm still feeling a little weak in the knees-"

Lucas crouches down. "Hop on."

"But-"

"I can't carry you all the way, but I can carry you until the feeling returns to your legs," Lucas interrupts. "I'll explain everything. Debrief me on Porky."

So that's how we end up, me on Lucas's back, Lucas on his way to Porky's private chambers. His footsteps slap against the marble floor, echoing across the neverending hallway of doors.

Apparently, the Smashers are here. The Twelve had infiltrated Carpainter's ranks, and sent Lucas up ahead to scout for me while they neutralized the party guests. Even better, the rest of the roster had pinpointed Lucas's phone signal, and the Halberd had shortly arrived on the dock. My sister is safe, and so is my mom.

I can breathe easy now.

On the other hand, Lucas looks radiant. Like he's had pure magic infused into him. His magic blurs past my face, hot like embers, dissolving into my skin. After a while, I can tell that he's struggling under my weight because his pace slows, even though he stubbornly plows ahead.

"...Porky's a psychopath," Lucas pants. "If you want stay behind-"

"I have to see this through."

As if on the same wavelength, Lucas doesn't question it. He just adjusts his grip on my legs and hikes me up his back. Sweat beads his face.

What a fucking dork.

I wrap my arms around him.

"You're choking me," Lucas complains, so I squeeze him tighter. Lucas doesn't say anything though. He really must've been worried. Loosening the hold, I rest my head against his shoulders, and Lucas jostles me. "Stay awake, Ness-"

"I'm okay. Just really happy you're here."

In response, Lucas's hold tightens around my legs.

Every now and then, we hear crashing and screaming from the first floor, and I can tell that the Smashers must be fucking some shit up. Finally. Some actual smashing. Music to my ears.

We burst into Porky's bedroom in time to see his SkyTrain whistle into the air. Lucas aims his pistol finger, but the blast of magic just falls short of the caboose.

"Fuck, we missed him," I swear, hobbling off Lucas's back.

Lucas zones in on Porky's pile of discarded shit. "...Porky's presents. He might have left something behind."

Taking note, I shove through the pile of presents and- there. I push Lucas towards the Pork Bean. "Hop in. We're flying after Porky before he wrecks our timeline-"

Lucas's face pales at the sight of the steering wheel. "Ness, I can't drive."

"Well, I'd drive, but my leg's still weak. You're getting the wheel." I take shotgun and strap myself in. "It's okay, Luke. Driving's easy."

"...Easy," he croaks.

"Hey, it'll be fine. I'll run you through it." As if weighing his options, Lucas gives into a reluctant sigh and stoops into the driver's seat. Watching him click the seatbelt on, I encourage him, "Good. Then slowly put your foot on the right pedal and- aAAH!" I scream when Lucas smashes the Pork Bean through the window.

Okay, lemme tell you. I trust Lucas. He's the guy who thinks shit through before he acts.

But Lucas drives like a crazy person. It's like all that common sense flies out the window once he's stuck in the driver's seat. Wide-eyed, he stares ahead, his hands clenching the steering wheel for dear life.

"Right, turn right!" I scream as several Porky bots take off after us.

Taking me literally, Lucas swerves the entire wheel to the side, and we go spiraling towards the beach in dizzying circles like a pinball in a pinball machine. Several bullets ricochet off the windows.

"Why didn't you tell me you can't drive?!"

"I did-"

"WATCH OUT, THAT'S THE HALBERD-"

We shoot past a dark bobbing silhouette parked against the water. Blinded by our headlights, Roy and Ike shout and point at us from the beach, but it's too late to call for backup, because we've swerved back up into the sky.

"H-How do I steer this thing?" Lucas rattles, his fingers turning pale on the steering wheel.

"That's it, switch seats. I'm taking over the wheel." As I wedge my foot into Lucas's tangle of legs, I end up doing a stupid kind of lap dance as Lucas tries to extricate himself from the driver's seat. "Move over, your foot's in the way."

A sheepish pause. "...I'm stuck."

"HOW DID YOU GET YOUR FOOT STUCK UNDER THE FUCKING PEDAL? WHAT IS THIS, SUBSPACE EMISSARY?"

Several clunks. The Pork Bean jitters.

Yanking himself free, Lucas rolls open the sunroof. "I'll take care of the bots. You drive."

"Solid," I say, grabbing the wheel and setting a course for Porky's SkyTrain. The train's speeding up. It's about to disappear any second.

Lucas straps himself into the other seat. When he takes in a deep breath, the temperature skyrockets, making me sweat my ass off. Then as if he's had several Hot Ones, Lucas exhales, searing the nearest swarm of Porky bots in a tongue of flame. He wrecks the second swarm by freezing the moisture in the air, sending hail the size of baseballs smashing into their heads. Sputtering and sparkling, the Porky bots hurtle downward, careering towards the floating island.

Oh boy, we're definitely not gonna be winning any environmental awareness awards. I doubt this was the way we were supposed to carry out the mission. I can almost hear Master Hand's pompous ass voice handing out the directions:

"Let me stress that this must be done with the utmost discretion. You are to infiltrate Porky's mansion, and exit without so much a speck of dust out of place. Am I understood?"

Then the right side of Porky's Mansion blows up.

Yeah... there goes my paycheck.

The whistle of the SkyTrain deafens my ears. We're getting close. Clicking open the seat belt, I lock the Pork Bean into autocruise, keeping it level with the caboose. "Lucas, status?!" I yell over the roar of the engine.

Beside me, Lucas crumples another Porky Bot like a soda can. The train drowns out his telepathic response from my head. I glance back at the SkyTrain. It's already sparking with magic. There's no way we're gonna take this train down in time.

I'm forced to jump on board when the SkyTrain blurs. Its wheels revolve into a glowing infinity.

"Luke, I need your status-"

Grabbing my hand, Lucas whips out Rope Snake and reels himself into the caboose.

Then the SkyTrain sinks into a wormhole, carrying us with it.

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~oO0Oo~

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When I blink the disorientation away, the black expanse of the wormhole greets me. If it weren't for the rattle of the SkyTrain, and the occasional jolt in my gut, I would've guessed we weren't moving.

Already inside the caboose, Lucas rummages through his pockets. Hit by a shock of turbulence, the floor roils like a wave.

I catch my balance. "What's the plan?"

"We'll figure it out as we go."

"Great, my favorite kind of plan."

"By the way, this-" Lucas tosses me something, and I catch it in surprise. His guilt seeps into our empathy link. "-is yours. Sorry, it's probably what tipped Porky off-"

"What are you talking about? I've missed this thing." I play around with the yo-yo, testing its string. Perfectly balanced. As a good weapon should be. "Thanks."

"You're both welcome," Rope Snake coughs.

"You're the best, Rope Snake," Lucas adds, scratching the smaller scales under his chin, and Rope Snake soaks up the attention. "Let's go."

Hopping from one carriage to the other, we make our way to the pilot's cabin. It's pitch black inside the wormhole, with no end in sight. I try not to look down when I catch Lucas's hand, and he pulls me into the next carriage.

When the sliding door to the pilot's cabin finally comes into view, I press my hand over my chest. Porky's empathy link tingles. "Porky's in there. Unless-"

"I can try." The glow in Lucas's eyes lasts a few seconds, before his telepathy dies. Then a strong wave of nausea washes over me, and Lucas's face distorts into a grimace. That's the face of many regrets. "On second thought... He's definitely here."

So our lead wasn't a dud. Good to know. Plastering my face against the carriage windows, I peer at the pilot's cabin, but it's too dark to make anything out.

My skin tingles. I would've expected Porky to gas us, to gaslight us, or something by now. Just how mentally unstable is he? "Is it just me, or is this too easy?"

"It's not you," Lucas says, tenser than a notched bow. "...Something's up."

The train shudders and groans. The floor tilts. Another shockwave of turbulence forces us to grab hold of the nearest seats.

Then the pilot's cabin bursts open like a gruesome cocoon.

I shove Lucas aside as a monstrous mechaleg punches through the roof. Without missing a beat, Lucas swipes his hand in an arc, pulling up a magic shield-

A second mecha-leg smashes through the window, shredding through the shield like paper and narrowly missing Lucas's head. We split up when Porky swipes at us again in his spidermech, Lucas gracefully glancing off the blow with his feet.

"Nessie, I knew you'd come through for me," comes Porky's gleeful voice. "You even brought me a present!"

We ignore him, ducking and weaving underneath his strikes.

Porky snipes at us from the safety of the roof. One mechaleg tears through the side of my pajamas, ripping half the buttons off. The second casualty's also mine. Too slow to dodge the debris, I wince when a falling piece of metal slashes my thigh. It's a shallow cut, but the bleeding makes my footing slippery.

Another mecha-leg skewers Lucas in the shoulder, and the seats behind him explode with stuffing like popcorn kernels. A dull throb pulsates from the same spot on my shoulder, before Lucas slams our empathy link shut, gritting his teeth against the pain. I keep Porky distracted as Lucas grips onto the leg with both arms, his magic working overdrive. Angry blue sparks skid across the spidermech, spitting and sinking into its metal shell, but to my horror, Porky's mech looks untouched.

No way. Don't tell me it's resistant to magic too.

Batting me aside, Porky lifts a struggling Lucas out of sight. When Lucas wrenches his shoulder free, the roof sways with his landing. As I fend off more mechalegs, the sounds of their battle ensue on top of the carriage. The SkyTrain violently tilts to the sides like a rocking chair, groaning and wheezing from impact.

Lucas interrupts my thoughts. Ness, pilot the train!

"There's nothing to pilot! The cabin's destroyed!"

"Ahaha... fools," Porky groans. "I changed my mind. You want my crown, Lucas? Come and get it."

The carriages swing. The lights flicker.

Then the train rips apart in an explosion.

The SkyTrain screams out of the wormhole, spitting us out into an unknown dimension. Surrounded by stars and debris, my cheeks balloon from G-force. The wind howls past my ears. Forcing my eyes open, I desperately grip my yo-yo, looking for a stronghold-

Something scaly shoots through the smoke, whipping around my ankle. There's a jerk in my navel as my fall slows.

"Oush, my jaw," Rope Snake squeaks.

Spiraling out of the night sky, I barely register the desperation reflected against Lucas's eyes before he slaps his free hand onto my face. His magic shoots through my blood like a sugar high, slowing our descent into a float. For a split second, it feels like we might actually have everything back under control.

Then in the clear silhouette of the moon, a mecha-leg impales Lucas like a fish hook.

Rope Snake shrieks.

There's another jerk in my navel as Lucas's concentration shatters. I tumble down through the air, dangling to and fro by the ankle. A bungee cord, Rope Snake's the only thing anchoring me from certain death, but that's the last thing on my mind right now.

That... that was a clear attack from behind.

Porky, you underhanded sleazeball.

Paralyzed, Lucas convulses around the mechaleg in his chest. He coughs, and his blood drips into silvery ovals that fly past my face. His magic erupts into specks of light, furiously attacking and mending his broken ribs in a firefly glow, but lit up against the dark night, as if caught in a web, he's a sitting duck. Porky's got more than one leg. Apparently his mech can fly too.

The leg reels us up.

With a swear, I hurl my yo-yo in a last ditch attempt. It curves out of sight like a boomerang. When several subsequent thunks ring through my ears, we shudder to a halt. By the sound alone, I can tell it's constricted other legs in its wake. That'll buy us a minute at best. Maybe two. In any case, there goes my only weapon.

My dumb ass is gonna get us killed. We both know it.

I try to kick my ankle free, but Lucas's grip on Rope Snake only tightens, his knuckles whitening from the strain.

He's not going to let me go.

My blood turns cold.

Then Porky emerges from the smoke. His hair disheveled inside the luxury of his mechaspider, Porky stares straight at me, looking utterly deranged. There's no question about his sanity now. He's lost it completely. "I'm taking you down with me."

"Lucas," I scream, but he's too far, and Rope Snake stretched too thin. But this finally gets through to him, because Lucas rasps something, a spell, as another flaming piece of wreckage hurtles towards us.

Shield.

Then Rope Snake lets go.

Porky screams after me, his mecha-legs spearing for my torso-

Lucas jerks his fists down. Like homing missiles, flaming pieces of wreckage fly towards them, pelting the spidermech with the sound of a giant's handclap.

Then in the world's biggest fireworks show, the engine of the SkyTrain blows up in a series of Michael Bay explosions, blinding my eyes and searing my legs. I regain my sight just as the nearest trees come into focus, their thick branches knocking the wind out of my lungs. Shit, Lucas might've buffered and slowed my descent so I wouldn't become a pancake, but I'm still left gasping when I slip off a branch and roll onto the ground.

Dancing through the sky like lightning, flashes of magic strike from a far cluster of trees. Wobbling onto my feet, I juggle what's left of Lucas's magic in my hands. It's warm. As if in response to Lucas's repeated infusions of magic, my own magic sluggishly stirs. To test it out, I cast a reasonable flame.

About time.

Without wasting a second, I'm off, bolting for the light.

I'm running the hardest I've ever run, but my legs still feel like lead, and branches keep entangling my cast. Burning off the cast, I teleport short distances to save time, but I'm running low on juice, and I need to hold onto these last few sparks until Lucas can hold his ground.

More pulses of magic wash over the distant trees. Slower.

I frantically push forward-

It stops.

Gasping for breath, I skid to a halt at the edge of a clearing. At its center, flames lick the demolished wreck of the SkyTrain in a delighted bonfire, spitting embers and hot ash into my face.

My hair stands on end. I reach for our empathy link, but still find it blocked. Panting and coughing, I let my eyes dart around for any sign of Lucas. Where is he?

Desperate now, I flick up a flare of my own magic. In a crack of thunder, it whizzes and dies into a series of noisy pops and crackles. Now everyone knows where I am. I wait for Lucas's cool flash of magic in response.

Nothing.

Doubling over on my knees, I catch my breath. Shit, I still feel sluggish. Even my breathing sounds clumsy and loud in my ears. Unable to wait, I heal up my thigh.

Finally, a noise. When I strain my ears, I make it out.

Faint wheezing.

Tottering unevenly into the clearing, Porky arrives in his spidermech, worse for wear. "Lucas wasted a lot of my time," he wheezes. Its edges splattered with blood, his spider mech hobbles heavily to favor its right. "...he wasn't supposed to... can't break my mech down... I see what's happening. You're both taking turns to distract me. But that doesn't matter anymore. Ness, you're mine." A smile spazzes across his face. "It's always been you and me..."

My fingers turn numb.

Shit, this is bad. I need to buy Lucas enough time to heal his wounds.

I reach over the wreckage for a solid plank of... something, and test it by dragging it against the ground. Not the best bat, but it'll have to do. "Good. I wanted a fair fight anyways."

We prowl around the crackling bonfire. The tension builds to a smothering degree, thick and tangible.

Porky wheezes. "This is... just like old times. The good old days. That's you... Always the hero. Wanting to take me down. Chasing me wherever I go. My own stalker..." Porky's expression turns starved. He's obviously delighted over talking smack about me. "So tell me, Ness. What act of "heroism" are you planning to throw at me next?"

"You're wrong. You were my greatest failure. I failed to save you from yourself."

"Save me? From what?" Porky hacks into a cough of uncontrollable glee. "My life of luxury? My horde of loyal subjects? My grand reign over a whole empire, my name remembered for eternity, while you rot out here like a no one and a nobody? I regret nothing. I was loved, more than you. You've always been jealous of my attention, of-" His cough intensifies, then dies down. "I was going to save you for last... but it doesn't matter. Once I finish you off, I'll hunt down Lucas. Maybe I'll kill him. Or turn him into my slave-"

"You're scared that Lucas can take you down. And you should be. You tore apart his family. You've killed and murdered countless innocents. You've turned into a monster, Pokey."

"A monster? Me?" Porky breaks into a series of wheezes. For a split second, I catch a flash of his blue eyes underneath his bangs. "Rich of you to say. The minute BuzzBuzz appeared, you abandoned me for your dumb quest."

"You told me you didn't want to come along-"

"You left me," Porky screams, banging his fists against his glass shield. "You left me, knowing how bad my parents were. You had to let your chink kink get the best of you, and now you have the nerve to call me the monster-"

"I blamed myself for how you turned out. I thought I didn't do enough. It took me a while to get it, but now I know why I couldn't help you. Because you refused to change. I can't change you if you don't want to change yourself, Pokey."

"Why would I want to change? I can do whatever I want." Porky gives into a hysterical laugh. Underneath the wheezing, I can almost hear his cornered childhood voice; he's still got the mind of a kid who never grew up, and in a way, it's tragic that we're in this situation at all. "I'm growing sick of your nagging. You think I'm scared of Lucas? Then you thought wrong. It doesn't matter to me which of you losers I kill first. But if you tell me where Lucas is... I'll make your death half as painful."

"Too bad, Pokey," I whisper, widening my stance. "But I can't let you do that."

We stare each other down. The flaming wreckage crackles and burns around us.

Porky breaks the staring contest first. His spidermech stampedes towards me, plowing through the flames. Out of reflex, I dodge. Like I'm back in the arena. Like I'm in a one stock brawl for my life.

No nerves, no mindgames.

Just pure adrenaline.

What follows is a grim duel to the death. Porky's spidermech shudders and groans as we duke it out, his mecha-legs whistling past my head and burying themselves into the dirt. The ground cracks into dry patches when I retaliate with a furious combo of my own. I'm punching out flames, sparks, everything I've got. My magic neatly skids off its metal surface, but the constant buffeting of projectiles blinds Porky, each blow forcing the spider mech to stagger back.

Out of sheer desperation, Porky lashes out. Another leg scizzors past, and when I avoid the stab, something glints off its surface like silk...

My yo-yo.

I seize its string and yank back, reeling the leg forward and snapping the yo-yo back into my hand. The spidermech groans. As if sensing the sudden imbalance, Porky throws himself to the left-

The spidermech lurches to the right.

It's now or never. Taking advantage of the opening, I hurl myself onto his cracked windshield. As Porky looks up, I raise my bat.

Then I smash clean through his glass screen.

Screaming, Porky flings me off, smacking me against a tree. I scramble out of the way before a mecha-leg punches through several pines. The bark around the hole sizzles and melts into a gaping maw like a jack-o-lanturn. As if trying to shake glass out, the spidermech violently pretzels around.

It sways once...

Twice...

Its legs give way. The mechaspider topples straight into another dark spruce of trees, muffling more of Porky's outrage. The angle reveals a dented crater on its belly.

X marks the spot. Lucas must have scoped out the weak kink in Porky's armor. Not all of Porky's spidermech must be impervious to magic.

Perfect. Summoning my electric guitar, I swing my right arm down its strings and-

My magic guitar gives a weak pluck. A concert fit for an ant.

Funneling my magic dry, I frantically strum my mute guitar, but its humming neon outline dies. Not enough magic.

"Oh, come on," I complain.

The trees rustle, and the spidermech topples upright. "Cute," Porky groans, his legs raised to skewer my face. "Let's add some vocals to-"

A tsunami of blue magic interrupts Porky's monologue, slamming into the spider mech and forcing it to stagger away from me. His eyes blazing like the inferno around us, Lucas lunges into the clearing, directing the flat of his palms at Porky's face. Snarling, Porky hurtles two of his legs in Lucas's direction, but as if unfazed, Lucas goes all Blue Eyes White Dragon on him, mercilessly blasting the spidermech back by the impressive force of his magic.

SMASH! A blast knocks the mecha-legs aside-

SMASH! Porky's spidermech sways, toppling over to reveal its dented belly just as...

SMASH! !

Lucas's explosion shatters the ground, causing howling gusts of wind that flatten back my hair. Shielding my face from debris, I scrunch my eyes to avoid the blinding sight. Cool guys don't look at explosions.

The rumble fades.

His attention fixed on the billowing smoke, Lucas edges closer to me. Up close, with dirt and dried blood caking his shirt, he looks like he's crawled out of a warzone. "...Are you hurt?"

"No," I rasp, waving the smoke away from my stinging eyes. "You?"

His eyes still lit aglow, Lucas shakes his head.

As the explosive flare dies into a spittle, and the smoke clears, Lucas and I cautiously approach the steaming wreckage. There's no way anyone could've survived that.

Then we hear the dreaded wheeze.

Flat on his ass like an aged turtle, Porky coughs into the dirt. For the most part, aside from his tattered clothes, he looks unscathed, unscratched as always. The dilapidated remains of his spidermech must've protected him from the brunt of the explosion. It's almost unfair.

He tries to roll into a sitting position like a roach, but Lucas jerks his palm down, forcing Porky to lie flat under the force of his telekinesis. Whatever resistance to magic Porky boasted of is now gone, stripped away with the destruction of his spider mech.

Porky heaves and pants against the sky. "...Come to finish me off, Ness?"

"Lucas is the one who took you down. Don't act like he isn't here."

"Why, are you going to kill me?" Porky gasps, like it's the funniest thing to his ears. "Because you can't. I know you, Ness. You don't have a spine. You preach about good, but face it. You're even worse than me."

My stomach gives a twinge. "No, I'm not."

Taking wild gulps of breath, Porky rolls back onto his back to cackle harder. His voice rips through the night. "You can deny it all you want, but it's true. If you hadn't messed up, Lucas's family would've still been alive. If you hadn't let me escape, Lucas wouldn't have lost his brother. How does that make you feel? To have the blood of Lucas's brother on your hands? You... you could've chosen to stick with canon. You could've chosen not to be a faggot. Yet, you chose to fall for the brother of the very person you killed. You make me sick." Hacking like he has a hairball stuck in his throat, Porky peers up at me through his bangs. His mouth splits into an open-mouthed smile, showing off his blood-stained teeth. "Congratulations, Ness... you're a cradle robber."

"You're demented," Lucas says flatly. "Ness is nothing like you. You're obsessed about surpassing him, but that's why you never will."

In a full psychotic breakdown, Porky wheezes with laughter on the ground. His hands shake under the force of Lucas's telekinesis. "Lucas... come to dethrone me at last? I still remember... when you first fought me in my kingdom. My home turf. You lost. You tried to break open my precious Absolutely Safe Capsule... you wanted to hurt me for taking everything away from you... do you remember that night? You failed..." He gasps for air, filled with hilarity for his own joke. "Did you know... You look... just like your brother. He was always eager to get down on his knees for me-" He gurgles when Lucas's telekinesis presses down on his throat, but somehow finds the air to keep talking. "Do you feel like you've avenged your brother now? Does seeing me grovel... make you feel better? None of this will change the fact that you're still a filthy fucktoy. I know what Strong and his men did to you. Do you think... Ness will still love you, after knowing the kind of person you are?"

I open my mouth to retort, but Lucas beats me to it, sounding as dry as ever. "You must be getting desperate, if you're picking at low-hanging fruit."

"Me? Desperate? Aha. Ahaha-" Porky's laughter turns into another choked gurgle.

"You killed my family," Lucas says. His empathy link burns. "But that wasn't enough. You couldn't stand other people living with the love you never had-"

"Lies."

"Why did you do it?"

"Why? Like I would tell you. There was no reason. I could, so I did." As Lucas falls silent, Porky's laugh devolves into a cough. "Love...? You think I want love? After all those years in power, after all those glorious years in charge... What a joke. All this talk of love is enough to make me barf." Porky wheezes again. "It looks like... we're at a stalemate. So what will you two do now?" Porky cracks a slow smile. "I have the winning edge. You don't want to kill me. Well, Lucas might... but you can't kill me. I'm invincible. You can try to escape home... but my ride here is gone, and the SkyTrain Station doesn't exist here. If you give up, we'll stick together in the Cave of the Distant Past, just the three of us. You two will wither and age and die... but I'll outlive you. Even when the Earth reaches its life expectancy, even when the sun explodes. But if you decide to let me go... I'll kill you. I'll track you down. I'll slit your throat. You see, Lucas? Nothing you do can make me beg for mercy."

"You're not at my mercy, Porky. You never were." Lucas's eyes glow. "...You're at theirs."

The wind flaps around Lucas's feet.

Suddenly, I can see it.

The crown resting on Lucas's head. The cape whipping around the magic scepter in his hands, the ring glowing on Lucas's wrist. As if coming to life under the sheer force of his magic, Lucas's invisible attire shimmers into existence.

"You never knew what the Dark Dragon was, did you, Porky?" Lucas says softly. Blue sparks tear through his fingers, coursing through his flapping cape and rippling into scales across his skin in an ancient tattoo. "Of course you don't. Neither did I. Leder might have told you, but you didn't listen to him either."

"What are you talking about, you fucking loser?" Porky wheezes, but he sounds agitated now.

More shimmering scales dissolve from Lucas's cape in a flood. A pair of glowing eyes appears behind him, reptilian in nature, more serpent than dragon.

For once, Porky looks like he's lost the voice to speak.

"The Dark Dragon has the power to restore balance," Lucas whispers, his eyes brighter than ever. "You're right, I can't kill you. But through me, through all the people you killed and hurt, the Dark Dragon can remove your invincibility. You'll be left in the mercy of those whom you caused suffering. If you refuse to repent... your old age and crimes will catch up to you. Your name will be erased, forgotten forever in the annals of history. And your last thought will be of the person you envied most, living a happy life without you."

Porky's eyes bug out. "You... you can't do that. You can't-" But when Lucas's hard expression doesn't falter, Porky crawls over to me. His hands shake on the hem of my pajamas. "N-Ness. It's me... your best friend. You wouldn't... you wouldn't let Lucas do this to me, would you?"

I force the lump in my throat down. "...Sorry, Porky. You're on your own."

Porky's eyes widen further. The corners of his eyes leak with tears. Snot drips down his nose. "You're... useless. You... you useless fuck..." he gasps, letting go and crawling into a ball. "This isn't how it's supposed to end. It's not fair. I can't... I can't lose to a dirty chink..."

He tosses his head back. And screams his lungs out.

It's a sorry sight.

We watch his tantrum die. Spent from effort, Porky pants on the ground, sniveling and shaking. "I was a victim... I was... I was just doing... what my mom- my dad taught me. Neither of you- neither of you understand. If either of you... had parents like mine- you would've, would've-" Porky gasps on the words. More tears leak into the dirt. "You would've turned out... like m-me..."

"No, we wouldn't. You brought this on yourself," Lucas says, sounding tired.

"Shut up, shut... up," Porky gasps and wheezes. "I killed your family. Wouldn't you rather... keep me alive... torture me instead? Doesn't that sound better to you? H-Here..." Trying on a shaky smile, Porky crawls over. "You can... you can hit me if you'd like. You can take all my money..." Out of desperation, Porky pushes his hard drive onto the ground. "You can... You can have this. Throw me into jail. Make me go to court. I'll do it, I'll do anything..." But when Lucas doesn't respond, Porky's smile drops. "Oh. Okay... if that's what you want..."

Porky shuffles about. Then he turns to me.

"...Ness," he sniffles, crawling back back over. Fuck me, he's making this harder than it should be. "...I just want... to talk..."

"Stay away from him," Lucas says sharply, but when Porky sobs harder and wheezes into a pathetic puddle, I place a hand on Lucas's shoulder.

"Wait. Let me handle this."

"You heard what he said. He'll kill you."

"Not with you here. Besides..." I stare down at Porky sobbing on the ground. "...he's done for."

Reluctantly, Lucas lowers his hand, freeing Porky from his psychic bonds. For several moments, we watch Porky gasp and wheeze on his side like a wounded animal.

I make my way over.

Porky heaves. "Ness... I knew... I knew you'd pull through for me-"

"I'm not doing this for you." I press a hand against his forehead, staring into his eyes. Willing them to feel heavy. Mustering enough strength for a final spell. PK Hypnosis. "I'm doing this because Lucas doesn't deserve to lose sleep over someone like you. Putting you to sleep before your final judgement is more than you deserve."

"I don't... don't want to..." Barely able to stand and struggling to breathe like he's run a marathon, Porky grabs onto my ankles. And collapses. As if clutching at a stitch against his chest. "Ness. You really were... the only person... who was kind to me..." He sniffles, slipping his hand out of his suit. "So I'll be sure... to make it a clean shot..."

Porky's grip on my ankle tightens.

It happens in seconds. I choke up when an overwhelming nausea erupts from our contact, and Lucas staggers back as if caught by the same storm. Twisting my own emotions against me, Porky presses his dark gun into my face.

The gunshot goes off.

Lucas's Shield shimmers.

With an impending finality, Porky's amiibo clatters onto the ground. His invincibility must have preserved him into one final form.

We watch it roll to a stop at my feet.

"Sorry," I say, unable to meet Lucas's eyes. My own eyes burn. "I thought..."

Lucas doesn't even respond, just dives over and crushes me in his hug. His breathing sounds ragged, like he was holding his breath the entire time.

"...It's okay," he mumbles, and those words make the stinging worse, fuck-

I break down into his shoulder.

After a while, sniffling and wiping our eyes on our sleeves, we turn to the final task. When Lucas glances at me, I nod.

Crouching low, Lucas extends his hand against Porky's amiibo, then whispers the words of his ultimate spell.

PK Love.

Warm blue sparks lap around our feet in waves.

In contrast to my sound barrier smashing finale, Lucas's ultimate move is a light show. Through him, the Dark Dragon sheds its scales, each scale flaking off Lucas's skin and erupting into a hundred souls that murmur and pool around Porky's amiibo like koi fish, reaching and grabbing out with their ghostly hands as if to slake their thirst...

As if floating in the middle of a lake, Porky's amiibo ripples. Shimmers like a mirage. Then it disappears, melting away into nothing.

It's over.

.

.

.

~oO0Oo~

.

.

.

The smell of acrid metal stings my nose.

Slumped over, side-by-side, we watch the smoke spiral from wreckage of the SkyTrain. We tend to each other's wounds, but my lungs still feel like they're on fire, and Lucas is having a hard time staying awake. Neither of us is in any fit condition to reflect on what just happened, and what Porky's victims ultimately decided to do with Porky is beyond me.

There's a pang in my chest. "...I guess Porky can't hurt anyone anymore."

Lucas's voice sounds hollow. "Yeah."

"Does this-" Coughing out the itch in my lungs, I muster up the courage to voice the horrible truth. "Does this mean we're stuck here forever?"

As if on cue, a wormhole spirals open into the sky.

Instantly, we're back on our feet. Nerves fried, hands outstretched and ready for a fight-

But the fleet of spaceships ignore us, giving us a wide berth. As they shoot past, I get a good glimpse of the logos stamped on their sides. Andonuts Time Busters. As the men get to work, vaporizing the SkyTrain wreckage, Lucas and I barely have time to share a glance before a sleek luxury SkyLimo whizzes by.

A head pops out of one of the passenger seats, her pink ribbon flying in her hair. "We found them, Jeff!" Paula cries.

Oh thank fuck.

We're saved.

Another head pops out of the window. "Lucas?! My god, I swear I will kick you in the nuts for making Duster bawl over your sorry ass," the pink-haired figure bellows, shaking her fists. "You are in big trouble! Do you hear me?!"

"Oh no," Lucas starts feebly.

As soon as the SkyLimo parks into a hover, Kumatora yanks up her sleeves and barges out, pinching Lucas over by the ear, and Duster rushes after her, trying to calm her down.

I'd save his hide, but then the window to the driver's seat rolls open, revealing a worn-out face. Jeff's got bloodshot eyes, and exudes an aura of stress that usually means he's downed at least twice his blood volume in caffeine.

Sweating bullets, I try a smile. "Jeff! Uh... How have you been, buddy?"

Jeff groans and faceplants into the steering wheel. "Ness, god. Just... fuck you," comes his muffled voice, his glasses knocked askew into his hair. "First, you made Paula cry because we thought you lost you for good, then Poo was on the verge of causing a civil war in his country just to get you back-"

"What?!"

"Then Tony started crying too because he thought you were dead, and I couldn't- Ness, you are so damn bloody lucky. And I mean, incredibly lucky. If it weren't for Lucas's sudden power spike causing an abnormal flux of energy in this exact timeline, you would've been a goner. But I'll spare you the lecture, because I've pulled five allnighters after you disappeared and frankly don't feel like speaking. Poo and Paula can take over for me."

Giving me a hard smile, Poo cracks his knuckles. Beside him, Paula glowers at me with a look that could fry bacon.

I gulp.

In the manner of a parent tired of their kid's shit, Jeff doesn't bother lifting his head up, just jabs his thumb at the passenger seats. "Everyone, climb aboard. We're going home."

Returning home, Jeff isn't the only one who's tired.

Lucas looks spent.

First, we take Lucas back to the Nowhere Islands, where Lucas thanks the Dark Dragon and sets them free. Snaking around us, their 3-toed claws glinting like ivory, the Dark Dragon regards Poo, blowing the hair out of his face, then touches Lucas on the forehead with their snout. The scales on their grooved back give off a ghostly whisper, final words of advice among the departed - but satisfied - spirits. As if in response to the touch, Lucas's eyes glow of their own accord, and they share a final telepathic conversation before the winged dragon lazily spirals into the mountains to slumber, swimming through the air and bringing heavy rainfall in their wake. From the distance, we watch their black scales turn white, and Lucas's tattoo disappear into his skin. Neither of us have a love for vengeance, but now that we've restored some balance in the world, hopefully the tortured souls of Porky's victims can find peace at last.

Before Master Hand nerfs him, Lucas asks for one last request. We end up visiting Dr. Andonuts in the hospital, where Lucas places his palm on the feverish old man's forehead and whispers a last spell. I can even feel the immense power of Lucas's healing magic, because it raises the hairs on my neck.

Then the glow fades, and Lucas straightens his back.

"It won't cure his madness completely, but he should get better with time," Lucas says, his speech slurring from exhaustion. "Wake me if something goes wrong."

Then Lucas returns to our apartment. And takes a nap.

A long one.

Like, he passes out for an entire day and a half.

Then because life can't give him a break, Lucas spends the next week with a heavy fever. His PSI fever gets so bad after Master Hand nerfs him that he stays put, shivering in bed. During this time, Alec pops by to cook regular meals, and I stay home to help. Not that I could've done anything else. Matches are cancelled for a month anyways.

It's not the only change upon our return. To my surprise, smasher after smasher shows up to see me. Or shower me with gifts. Peach bakes me enough chocolate goodies to give me type 2 diabetes. Rosalina buries me under a mountain of sweaters, many of which I donate to Porky's survivors. Master Hand even turns a blind eye when Ike sneaks some puppies into the apartment with a reluctant Ganondorf in tow, and we play fetch for hours until Ganondorf gives in to name his hound army ("You shall be Bone Crusher," Ganondorf grudgingly mutters under his breath, picking up a Labrador that happily barks in his face). It's mostly stuff like food, and while I'm not complaining about free stuff, I have to put the foot down when the Twelve show up with Luigi's homemade lasagna.

"Okay, this is weirding me out. Why are you guys acting so creepy?" I say, inching backwards when the Twelve start fussing over me.

I guess this does the trick, because they all anxiously glance at each other. Samus and Mario shoot each other this glance, as if to ask "you or me?" before Samus crouches by my side.

"How are you feeling, pal?"

"I said I'm okay," I complain. "I can take care of myself. Go smother Lucas, he's the one knocked out right now-"

"We'll talk about Lucas when we get to it. But right now, we're talking about you. I know you can handle yourself. We know that. And that's the problem." Samus hesitates. She flicks her visor open. "I think... a lot of us saw you as one of the Twelve, so much so that we forgot you were also a kid at times." When I try to protest hotly, Samus amends. "Being a part of the Twelve is a lot of pressure, even for an adult, Ness. We've all heard from Luigi what you've done for us in our absence, and for you to bear that mantle at your age... in my opinion, you've proven yourself above and beyond, countless times beforehand. You've done a lot better than most people would've in your shoes. But being a part of the Twelve can set some unrealistic personal standards. There were times where we probably did belittle you for acting like a child, or lashed out at you for whining, and it wasn't fair for us to treat you like that."

"I mean to be fair, I did whine a lot-"

"That's not the point. It wasn't right of us, of me, to have treated you in that manner. At the end of the day, you were always smiling no matter what shit was thrown your way-" Here, Mario frowns at her vulgar language, but doesn't interrupt. "-so when Porky kidnapped you, I think we all realized we took you for granted. Especially this part of you," Samus says, poking me in the chest. "...Do you know how quiet this place has been before you two returned?"

"Are you calling me a loudmouth? Gee, thanks Samus," I whine, and this cracks a few smiles.

"We wanted to check up on you," Samus says, serious as ever. "And we wanted to apologize. You don't have to accept the apology, but I just want to let you know that we're sorry for the way we treated you, and that we'll try to do better."

It's my turn to smile. "Are you crazy? You guys saved my ass. Of course I forgive you."

"God, Lucas is right. You are too forgiving," Samus groans into her hands. "I'm done boring you out. Go stuff your face."

The cynical side of me thinks that Smash Media would keep Porky's crimes hush hush, but surprisingly I'm proven wrong. The major news stations are predictably slow on the uptake, but when local news stations pick up the story, it doesn't take much to get the ball rolling. With the smashers being involved, it's hard not to. A part of me wonders how rigged the media is too, and how many executives were also involved in Porky's slave trade.

Anyways, excited by all the hullabaloo, the news stations get to work, airing the dirty laundry in their hands. All the recent updates blow up my phone. Bayonetta's rescue at the Blue House. The custody of several elites from Porky's Playhouse, all part of Porky's secret pedophilia ring. The Smashers' discovery of several children stowed away in the luggage compartment of the S.S. Lardna. One of the children, a boy with ginger hair, holds Lucas's phone tightly in his hand like a good luck charm as the media nosily shoves mikes into his face. All of Porky's survivors are then housed safely in a private hospital owned by Master Hand, its location undisclosed to the public. Which is good, considering all the mass graves of children found on Porky's floating island.

As if their own ass was on the line, the Justice system moves fast. Hundreds of parents are jailed for selling their kids into slave trade. Government sectors weed out Porky sympathizers, one by one. Porky's death cult dissolves after Carpainter commits the die by poisoned wine, and police catch fleeing cultists, who either beg for forgiveness or insist that the "second coming" is near.

The Smashers don't have it easy either. Social media blows up. Over the next few days, security's screened out mail poisoned with anthrax and packages disguised with explosives. They even detain a stubborn idiot who tries to break into the lobby. More incompetent than members of the Yiga Chan - Link's stupid wannabe assassins - the man refuses to say shit as police seize his backpack, but its contents speak for themselves. They find ducktape, Happy Happy pills, and a revenge note written specifically about Lucas. From the second floor, I watch the deranged man pant against the ground when Chrom bodily tackles him, and when I catch the man's eye, he grins. It sends chills down my spine.

For safety measures, Mom and Tracy stay the nights at the Mansion's guest housing, a few floors above our dorms. When they're finally allowed to see us, the reunion's full of messy tears. Her hair disheveled and eyes red, Mom crushes me in her bear hug. "When I saw the room empty, Tracy gone... I thought... and when Master Hand called saying you and Lucas were missing-"

"Mom, it's okay-" I choke up, but she sobs even harder.

When she's convinced that I'm okay and not about to disappear into thin air, Mom turns to Lucas, bedridden in our room.

"I have no words to say," Mom whispers, clutching his hand tightly and clasping it against her forehead. As if in prayer. "Thank you... Thank you for looking after my children."

Lucas squeezes her hand back with a tired smile, and fretting over his weak state, Mom and Alec debate over cooking the next meal. They settle for alternating days. Mom's not happy when I volunteer to get the groceries, but she lets me leave when Mario and Luigi offer to accompany me to the third floor with tens of bodyguards... under the condition I keep my phone with me at all times.

"Isn't this a bit overkill?" I complain, tucking a new carton of milk into the fridge. "I'm not like, going outside-"

But I catch the look on Mom's face and shut up. Guess better safe than sorry. Not like I could've gone outside anyway. Not when Master Hand put us all on lockdown for a month.

Somewhere during this agenda, I sneak in some alone time with Lucas. "Your head still feels warm," I worry, testing it with the back of my hand. "How do you feel?"

Lucas just closes his eyes, his breathing labored.

"You should eat. We've got some leftover soup." I reach for his hand to grip it, but Lucas interlaces our fingers together. I swallow. "Don't worry about chores this week. I've got it covered, okay?"

"Ness," he makes out.

Fuck, I'm choking up. "...Yeah?"

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

His eyes slowly half-open. "Us."

My throat closes up. "Don't. Porky caused a lot of trouble for you. Because you were my friend. I don't want you to- to obligate you into-"

"You're not obligating me."

"Well..." I swallow down the lump in my throat. "Don't get me wrong. I still love you. If you still want to date me, that's okay. If you want to break it off, that's okay too. But you should focus on getting better first. I wanna give you some time to think over it."

Lucas pauses, as if considering this. "...Okay," he whispers, reluctantly giving in, but he gives me a gentle squeeze on the hand that makes my heart flutter. God, I'm so helplessly lovesick. "Your leg's good?"

My face hurts from smiling. "Yeah. We're just worried about you, stupid. I gotta buy you the double scoop special when you're feeling better, from the new ice cream parlour on the third floor. I would've done it anyway, but Mom said I can't get you icecream because you're sick."

Lucas cracks a smile at that. "Bummer. Guess you'll have to wait."

"Yeah, no thanks to you, you idiot," I whine, and when Lucas shakes with repressed laughter, I puff up my cheeks. "Scoot over, you're hogging the bed-"

"What happened to your bed-"

"Nope shuddup, my bed is wherever I decide to sleep," I say, grabbing the covers. "-and I've decided that your bed is my bed."

"You're making me burn up," Lucas complains when I cuddle against him. He's right, his fever's turned him into a heater overnight. He playfully kicks at my legs, and I elbow him back. We squabble a bit more before Lucas gets fed up and sleepily curls around me. As Lucas dozes off, from the corner of my eye, I catch Alec cracking the door open to check on us, before quietly giving us some privacy.

Oh yeah... This is the life.

We get a few more visitors. His demon fang piercings glinting, Poo stops by to ruffle my hair and ask how I'm doing. Duster walks over during his coffee breaks to share a quiet chat with Lucas.

Even the Tazmily Villagers show up.

Surrounded by his fellow kinsmen, Leder awkwardly stoops down to our doorway. With his thin limbs and black suit, this man is the literal embodiment of a daddy long legs. "Greetings, Ness. May we share a word with Lucas? It won't take too long."

Startled, I open the door wide. "Oh yeah. Come in-"

"No," Alec cuts across me, appearing at the doorway. He throws a withering scowl at Butch, and as if reminded of his previous behavior towards Lucas, Butch wilts. "Ryuka is recovering. Talk to him later."

"Alec- we're not here to bother him. It's about the tradition." When Alec furrows his brow, Leder apologetically clears his throat. "Sokui no rei."

Taken aback by the words, Alec stares. First at Leder, then at each of the faces at the door. "...I thought we dropped that," he whispers. "Did all the villagers-"

"There were a few objections. But in the end... we all accepted. Unanimously. Unless you-"

"Of course I agree! Are you crazy? To deny it, after everything he's gone through?" Alec massages his own temple, as if warding off a headache. "But Leder... It is a lot of responsibility, and he is but a child-"

"He's a Smasher. He's represented us long before the tournament, and wears the blessing of the Dark Dragon. He's gone above and beyond for our people. The Dark Dragon has acknowledged it too. It's about time we formally honor that."

Worrying over the thought, Alec glances at the bedroom. "He might be sleeping... should I wake him?"

"Let him sleep. But tell him to visit us later. Whenever he's feeling better." Leder now turns to me. His brow softens. "Ness, is it? We've heard about the trials and tribulations you've endured, and are very grateful for what you've done. You brought Porky to justice. His people will hurt us no more. Now we can breathe. For that, I thank you."

My face feels hot. "Lucas did all the work-"

"The Tazmily Villagers are in your debt. Both of yours," he adds. "As a friend of the Tazmily Villagers, you are welcome to stop by, anytime." Leder shakes my hand in such a solemn serious manner, it makes me feel under-dressed, like I'm meeting the president of Eagleland. "Ah, Alec... do you have another minute to spare? There are some details that are easier spoken in the native tongue-"

"Yes, yes, of course," Alec says impatiently, but as he leaves, he pats me on the shoulder. "Nessu, help yourself to leftovers."

Turns out, when I shut the door, Tracy was there the whole time, peeking from the kitchen with wide eyes.

"...What did the villagers want?" She asks, glancing at the shut door.

"I guess they wanted to talk to Lucas, but he's sleeping-"

"He's sleeping again?" Equally worried, Tracy glances towards our room. "Is Lucas okay? He doesn't look so hot..."

"He'll be fine. Lucas gets PSI fevers more frequently than I do, cuz he actually uses his magic, but he'll get better. Master Hand warned us this might happen after the nerf, so we'll let him know if Lucas's fever grows worse. You want dessert?"

"Okay..." She hesitates when I open the fridge, then blurts out, "Are you okay?"

"Doing better." I glance at her, and my stomach gives an uneasy twinge. "Listen, about the bodyguards-"

"You've asked me a million times," Tracy groans, resting herself against the kitchen counter. "I told you, they didn't do anything. Lucas found me in time. Besides, Mom was already in therapy for marriage counseling, so if I change my mind on therapy, it's not a big deal. I'll let her know. I'm just-" After some hesitation, Tracy props her head up on her elbows. "I'm just worried about you."

I laugh. "Me? I'm perfectly-"

"It's not your fault Porky was an abusive ass."

The waffle pan sizzles.

My smile fades. "...I know."

The seventh day in, Lucas's fever abates. He can actually sit up, and by the end of the day, we're doing warmups, trying to outdo the other with sit ups and planks.

Lucas doesn't sleep as much though, and I can't blame him. Now that we're both well-rested, dreamless sleep is rare. My nightmares about Giygas return with a furious vengeance, and Lucas's own nightmares have grown worse. At first, one of us would sneak over to the other bed, but when the nightmares kept happening, we've kinda given up and ended up sharing the same bed. Probably to remind each other that we're still alive. I wake up screaming, and Lucas fidgets and thrashes harder in his sleep. He almost punches my face when I try to wake him once, and guiltily pampers me the entire day after in apology.

It's a slow recovery.

Even from beyond the nether, Porky still manages to fuck up our lives in small ways.

I like to think that I bounce back easily, even after Giygas, but from time to time, I get these weird phantom pains in my right leg. Like one moment, I'm doing my morning sprint around the mansion grounds, then in the next, I'm writhing in the dirt, grabbing at my leg like a cripple. Seeing me go down during one of his own laps, Lucas instantly skids to my side and pours as much magic as he can into our empathy link.

"It's okay-" I grit at the unexpected pain stabbing through my leg. According to Paula, it's an empath thing. Apparently an injury associated with enough trauma can cause phantom pains. It's temporary, but fuck me, I guess I got lucky. "Go run your lap, I'm fine-"

"No, you're not." Lucas's eyes darken at the memory. "Porky broke your leg last week. Don't push yourself."

"But I'm not done running today," I complain as the pain ebbs. Lucas doesn't stop frowning though. "Lucas, cmon. Quit giving me that look, I promised to race Sonic by the end of the month-"

"I'll buy you burgers from your favorite place," he offers.

Bribery, eh? I suspiciously squint at him. "With the oven-baked fries?"

"Sweet potato."

"...Done."

I discover that Lucas hasn't escaped the ordeal unscathed either. Later that night, we order our take out, and Lucas slides into the bathroom to wash his hands (not before elbowing me when I steal his Kid's Meal Toy). Channel surfing for a nice movie (the TV blazes with a ramen ad, endorsed by a smiling Lucina), I've just finished setting the table when the warning signs hit me.

I notice the flickering first. "...Lucas? What was that?"

Then the bathroom lights explode.

When I dash in, I find Lucas picking up the mess with his bleeding fingers. "Oh- shit. Are you okay?!" He flinches when I touch his back. I've forgotten how jumpy Lucas has gotten about being spooked from behind.

"...Sorry, I had a moment. I'll replace these-"

"The lightbulbs? What, it's not a big deal-"

Lucas gently pushes me aside. His voice sounds eerily calm. Like he's on autopilot. "I'll be back."

"Wait wait wait. Time out," I say, blocking the apartment door. "The store, this late at night? Just for lightbulbs? Can't this wait until tomorrow?"

"No," Lucas says, but our empathy link shifts uneasily.

"I mean if you want to get them now... I don't mind tagging along-"

"Alone. I need to take my mind off things-"

"What things?"

Lucas closes his mouth. He shrinks into himself, and it reminds me of that time years ago, when Lucas had missed turning in his homework in Twinkle Elementary. Our teacher had forced him to stand shaking in front of the class, and refused to let him sit until lunch time. How old were we back then? We couldn't have been older than ten.

Our empathy link twists with nausea.

It's the only warning I get before he retches into the nearest trashcan.

"Lucas," I panic, flitting around his crouched form. "You're really worrying me, maybe we should call the doctor-"

"Don't. I'm not sick." He coughs. "But... I feel sick."

"Sick how?"

"I think there's something wrong with me. Don't know why... I can't get over it." His shoulders start convulsing. The only indication of him breaking down. "...Sorry."

My chest hurts. Strong, you absolute fuckwad. "Don't be sorry," I mumble, sitting next to him. "I should've been there for you that night."

"It would've been worse if you were there."

"I was with other people. You were alone."

"You shouldn't have followed me to the Black Market-"

"I'd punch a hundred Neckbeards if it meant saving your ass," I say stubbornly, and Lucas lifts his head. His eyes look like lamplights in the dark.

"Sometimes... I can still hear their thoughts," Lucas says quietly, his stare haunting, and my blood turns to ice. Suddenly, he sounds much older than sixteen. "Strong. Neckbeard. Porky. What they did to their victims. If you fell with me at Tazmily that night... I don't want to think about what Strong or Porky would've done with you."

"Uh, Strong was a racist idiot who kept kissing up to me, and Porky was-" Still feels weird to bring him up. "I don't want to think about what they would've done to you if they'd kidnapped you and gotten away with it," I retort instead.

"Porky probably would've turned me into a sex slave, and Strong and his men would've wanted their full share too, I'd reckon," Lucas says dryly, and I flinch. Suddenly, Porky's drugged fans come to mind, with their vapid, empty expressions. "Or Porky would've sold me to his other clients and tortured me for fun. Doesn't matter. In Porky's mind, I was always in his way. He would've killed me no matter what I did-"

"Don't." I clench my fists. "Don't say that-"

"Not saying it doesn't make it any better. Porky was obsessed with you. If he only had the time, he could've done worse. The terrible part was that he knew he was running out of time. And he still managed to hurt you. He broke your leg. He forced himself onto you." Lucas swallows. "...You must've been scared."

"Not really. I mean, not until Porky almost tricked me into thinking he had you locked up somewhere-" My throat closes up again. "That was honestly the worst feeling, knowing that he wouldn't have hurt you if I hadn't ever confessed to you."

Lucas shifts against me. "Don't be stupid," he mumbles, squeezing my hand tight. "No matter what you did, he would've gone after me. I messed up our timelines. The second I fused our worlds together, I altered your future. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have been caught in this mess."

"Mess? I dunno. I'd like to think that we would've at least ended up good friends, no matter what timeline."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, duh."

Lucas's mouth twitches. "I don't know. I mean, you always turn the AC down to 60 and rack up the electricity bill-"

He fends me off with a laugh when I slug him in the shoulder. "And you take forever in the bathroom-"

"And you-" When he devolves into coughing, I back off.

"Woah, don't die laughing on me-"

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, resting his head against my shoulder. The weight sends butterflies shooting into my stomach. "For everything."

It's my turn to snort. "Really? I was the one who picked a fight with you-"

"You only got frustrated because you knew I could do better. You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. That meant a lot." Lucas squeezes his eyes shut. His hair tickles my nose. "...I want this. I know you gave me some time to figure out our relationship... among other things. But there's something I need to do before getting back to you. I promise I won't keep you waiting. As for that night in Tazmily-" A pause. "I'll tell you when I'm ready. Around you... I feel like I can be myself. I don't feel like I need to be strong all the time. The Tazmily villagers think I'm a hero. But I don't feel like a hero." He re-opens his eyes, and they look bloodshot. "I just feel tired."

A lump rises in my throat. "...I feel that," I say, rubbing his shoulders, and relaxing slowly, Lucas leans against me. We stay like that until my arm falls asleep, and hobbling upright, I give him a clumsy kiss on the forehead before heating up our takeout for dinner.

I make sure to tell him too. That whatever he chooses to be, he'll still be a fucking dork.

That night, Lucas curls around me tighter like a security blanket. As if finding solace in my safety. Pouring all the good vibes into my empathy link, his breathing hits my ear, slow and relaxed, chasing away my nightmares. He keeps me happy, even when he's exhausted.

So I cuddle against him, warming up his hands and toes.

Slow recovery.

But we'll get there.

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~oO0Oo~

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Twitter Page

ChangeMyMind
(at canttouchthis)
I swear, Twitter becomes so pathetic with their repulsing mob mentality that they enforce this "I'm right, you're wrong" attitude. Everyone makes mistakes, and I'm willing to bet Porky's mistake doesn't define him in the slightest. Fuck the haters. (#Justice4Porky)
2k Retweets
727 Likes
7:25 PM - 4/4/2XXX

Reply at canttouchthis
Porky 4 E3
(at MotherFan12345)
not a Porky fanboy, but im just tired of Twitter speaking for the law. everyones just a greasy snob who's made worse mistakes.. Such a damn toxic website, man...
78 Replies
125 Retweets
623 Likes
7:25 PM - 4/4/2XXX

Reply at canttouchthis
Armchair Psychologist
(at RhymeOrThyme)
Porky's been bullied his whole life. Now he is being bullied as an adult. I wish he would realize that this will continue as long as he gives them what they want. If he never stands up for himself, things will never get better.
11 Replies
104 Retweets
261 Likes
7:25 PM - 4/4/2XXX

Reply at canttouchthis
Mama Lila
(at cookingwithLila)
What happened to him? My children miss his toy brand...
29 Replies
2 Retweets
15 Likes
7:25 PM - 4/4/2XXX

Reply at canttouchthis
Legosi is my bae 💖
(at animelover909)
omg why are people attacking porkys victims and the smashers? Like? SHEEPLE PLZ UR EXCUSING A LITERAL MURDERER AND CHILD RAPIST
66 Replies
6 Retweets
77 Likes
7:25 PM - 4/4/2XXX

Reply at canttouchthis
We stan the innocent
(at poggers)
We support you porky. Porky doesnt deserve to be cancelled. ive read all his victims tweets, an dtheyre clearly lying for attention. Porky's just misunderstood...
8 Replies
2 Retweets
169 Likes
7:25 PM - 4/4/2XXX

Reply at poggers
uh
(at whatisexistence)
bro why are you on the internet you're 12
7 Replies
2 Retweets
191 Likes
7:25 PM - 4/4/2XXX

Reply at whatisexistence
We stan the innocent
(at poggers)
im twelve but at least im more mature than u
2 Replies
0 Retweets
0 Likes
7:25 PM - 4/4/2XXX

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~oO0Oo~

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PSI Paula 11:48PM
Now that Ness and Lucas are safe, I have questions（ ÒㅅÓ)

King Poo Panda 11:52PM
Agreed. Ness, you owe us all a big explanation.

Nuss 11:53PM
cmon guys, what is this? an interrogation?
pease dont kill me

&Donuts 11:55PM
To be frank Ness, the last time I saw you before you went missing
was that night you stayed over at my apartment and cried over icecream

PSI Paula 11:56PM
Ness cried? What happend?!（・◇・)

Nuss 11:56PM
.

&Donuts 11:57PM
It's safe to say that none of us expected you to sneak into the Dark Web
You also left your phone behind, so I picked up in the morning because your mom kept calling nonstop.
When she started freaking out and asking me if I knew where you were... well.

PSI Paula 11:58PM
Same Ծ_Ծ ness we love you, but god you and lucas can be so dense sometimes
what made either of you think sneaking off to the black market alone at 2 am was a great idea

King Poo Panda 11:58AM
Did Lucas threaten you to tag along?

Nuss 11:58PM
noo it wasnt his fault
lucas went missing, i d idnt know what else to do

PSI Paula11:59PM
Classic ness
thank god we found u in one piece
thank god poo and jeff were here too

King Poo Panda 12:00AM
I think we've grilled Ness enough
if that's the term

Nuss 12:00AM
thanks poo (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

King Poo Panda 12:01AM
I'll be in the city for another week. Let us break bread tomorrow.

Nuss 12:01AM
poo why does this sound so threatening and ominous coming from you

PSI Paula 12:01PM
im down. brunch at 11?

&Donuts 12:01PM
Sounds good. Ness?

Nuss 12:02AM
Yeah I'll see u guys then
spare me
have mercy

King Poo Panda 12:03AM
We shall decide your fate tomorrow.

Nuss 12:03AM
NOOO

King Poo Panda 12:04AM
Sleep well. Your day of judgement awaits.

PSI Paula 12:05PM
POO

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~oO0Oo~

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I lie awake most of the night.

As soon as dawn hits the windows, I decide to get up, and roll back my sheets as quietly as I can. But when I emerge from the shower, Lucas is already awake. He takes in my exhausted state.

"Good morning," Lucas muses, his bedhead messy and untidy. Cracking into a stupid grin myself, I sock the shithead in the shoulder.

Despite my words to sleep in, Lucas accompanies me to the third floor. He points out he needs to buy fresh lightbulbs anyway, so I let him tag along. When we take the stairs down to the relatively-empty third floor, we pass a SMASH merch store stashed with posters and plushies. As the store's obnoxiously peppy pop music punches through my ears, I halt by the amiibos in the front glass display.

I stare at my beaming face plastered on an amiibo.

Is that what I really look like on stage?

"Isn't it funny? No matter what you say, your words are just that... Words. You'll fall in line. My favorite wind-up toy."

I want to smash it apart.

"We should get going," Lucas says, watching the amiibos with an unreadable look in his eyes. Tearing my gaze away from the Ness amiibo, I take another breath. I think Lucas gets it, because as if to reassure me, he quietly adds, "...That's not you."

I relax. We buy the lightbulbs at the local mart. Lucas offers to stay with me over breakfast, but I tickle him towards the elevator. He'll get to meet all my friends later. Besides, he's got places to be.

In the breakfast parlor of the Cracked Egg, tucked behind a greenhouse of flowers, Poo waves me over. Clad in a leather biker jacket, he's about two years older than me at nineteen, but as always, looks effortlessly cool.

"You're early," I say.

"I am always early," he agrees.

"Are you going to end me?"

The corner of his mouth quirks upward. "We shall see. But first, we eat. I am starved." Poo taps the continental breakfast menu with the back of his hand. "I ordered oatmeal, because Jeff said it is closest to rice gruel. But I think this place offers other foods you may prefer."

"I'll take oatmeal too... unless you want to eat somewhere else. I'm sure there's a Japanese breakfast parlor somewhere-"

"It is all right. I am not as picky as I used to be, and rarely eat out these days. A part of enjoying different cultures is trying out different foods, and oatmeal is rather standard fare," Poo says, patting me on the shoulder. His demon fang piercings glint like silver. "I am glad to see you safe from Porky. I also hear you are dating... You should introduce me to Lucas one day."

"You've met him-"

"Barely. Aside from greetings, I don't think we've conversed before." Poo raises his eyebrows. The gesture is so Lucas-like that I have to resist the urge to snort. "How did it happen?"

"It's a long, convoluted 300k+ word story," Jeff adds, plopping down beside us. He raises his own brows too. "Well. I'm not surprised to see Poo, but it's unlike you to arrive so early, Ness."

"What?!" I complain as Poo stifles a grin of his own. "What is this, Bash Ness Happy Hour?"

"You're usually late. Or on time," he concedes, and I give a joking huff. After a bout of hesitation, Jeff rests a hand on my shoulder, his eyes softening. "But really... it's good to see you."

The waiter drops by our private booth, and we place our orders. I can feel all their eyes on me, and sweating in my seat, I pretend to ignore the concern smothering my empathy links. "Uh- nice weather today."

"Do you have any idea how terrified we were when we heard Porky had you?" Paula furiously whispers, clenching her napkins. "Ness, we all agreed on a plan. You and Jeff were supposed to pick Poo up from the station at noon. I was supposed to meet you guys there at noon. We were supposed to investigate Porky starting from noon. The next thing I know, the Mansion's on lockdown because you went missing, and Lucas himself vanished after dropping Tracy off. We thought- we thought-"

"We thought you were a goner," Jeff agrees as he wipes his glasses. "We understand why you did it, but I thought we were in this together."

"Well-" I fumble for the words. "It was late at night. When I left for the Dark Web. I didn't want to bother you-"

"That's the attitude that almost got you killed several times over during our adventure," Poo says, crossing his arms, and I shrink from his gaze. "You don't have to do this alone, Ness. I admit, I know we were not as readily available as we would have liked, but Porky is our business too. You can trust us."

"And I do. Trust you guys." I slump into my seat. "I mean, I told you about Porky's threat, but you already had a lot of stuff on your end. I didn't want to pile more stuff on top of that. Like, Jeff... we literally visited your dad in the hospital a few months ago. Poo, you're running a whole fricking country. And Paula, you had college apps, and I-"

"Don't start," Paula snaps. "I said I needed space, but that didn't mean I wanted you to go kill yourself!"

"I wasn't planning to," I shoot back.

"That's the problem. You never think these things through!"

There's a terse pause as the waiter places our food on the table. Paula glares at the tablecloth, and I fume at my own oatmeal.

As soon as the waiter leaves, Poo breaks the silence. "You frightened us, Ness," he says, patting me in the back. That's Poo, always the mediator between hotheads. "It was... when you went missing- We thought we lost you. We blamed ourselves for what happened. If only we reached out to you first, if only we asked if you were okay, if only we pressed you more about Porky..." his voice trails off.

For some dumb reason, my eyes start to sting. "I'm really sorry, guys. I didn't think this would happen-"

"Neither did we." Jeff's eyes look haggard. He breathes in. "Look, I might've been dealing with my father's issues... but I wanted that space, and you let me have it until I was ready to reach out to you. If you died that day-" Jeff pinches the bridge of his nose. "... don't. Please. Never do that again."

"We tell each other if we are in danger, from now on," Poo agrees, refilling our water. "Believe it or not, Ness, a famous fortune teller in my country once said that you would die at the age of fifteen. He was wrong of course... divination is too unpredictable a magic... but I have always felt like out of us four, you would the die the earliest."

I crack a grin at that. "Too bad. You're gonna have to deal with me a whole lot longer."

"Oh boy," Jeff groans. "Makes me sorry that Lucas has to look out for you."

"Poor Lucas," Poo agrees. "Should we tell him what he's signed up for?"

"I don't know. Might not be fair to Ness-"

"Guys, really?" I whine, hitting Poo in the shoulder when he grins. "Says the person with a fucking harem in their own country!"

"They are just devoted citizens," Poo says innocently, and even Jeff has to stifle a snort at that.

"Citizens, my ass!"

The mood relaxes. Even Paula's worry has begun to simmer down.

"...Paula? Hey Paula," I try to cheer her up. "Listen, I'm sorry-"

"Why are you sorry? You shouldn't be sorry for what Porky did to you. I just hate that he got to you before we could." Paula sets her orange juice aside. The glass sweats with moisture. "Ness, what happened that day? If you don't want to-"

"No, it's okay." I force down my oatmeal. It's pretty tasteless. "I guess it's now or never, huh?"

I talk.

When I get to the part we bump into Neckbeard, their eyes widen. When I get to the part Porky breaks my leg, Paula buries her face into her hands, and Poo's expression tightens. When I get to the part Porky boasts about Claus and his other victims, their faces twist with disgust. Surprisingly, it's Jeff who loses his composure first, bursting off a few choice words about Porky before Poo shoots him a look. At this, Jeff despondently sinks down into his seat, waving a hand at me in a halfhearted attempt to continue.

"-so all the native animals returned to their natural habitats on the Nowhere Islands, Lucas got rid of Porky's invincibility, and Porky's actions caught up to him," Paula says when I catch a breath. "With help from the Dark Dragon."

"Yeah."

"I'm still a bit unclear on that part."

"Me too," I admit. "Maybe Lucas can explain everything when he's feeling better. Unless Poo-"

A frown creases Poo's forehead. "Lucas called upon the spirit of Mu. That takes great discipline to evoke."

"Oh yeah... I don't know if this helps, but Lucas has been doing some rigorous training under Lucario for the past few years-"

"That makes some sense. When I went through my own trial at fifteen..." Rubbing his arms as if checking they're still there, Poo grimaces and represses a shudder. "It is not an experience I would take lightly. It speaks to Lucas's fortitude of mind that he was able to gain the respect of the Dark Dragon, and regain his previous powers."

"So what is the Dark Dragon? Lucas said it was the guardian of the Nowhere Islands-"

"Indeed, and a powerful magical being. To be frank, I am not sure any human can fathom what it is," Poo says with a nod. "Mu goes by many names. It is the state of silence, the state of nothingness... a state you achieve by letting go of yourself and your worldly desires. Mu is balance, and the Dark Dragon is an embodiment of that. It is a concept not easily explained in words... but the closest English description that would fit the Dark Dragon is Karma. What you take from life must eventually be returned, and Porky's invincibility came at the cost of many lives. His actions caused an unnatural imbalance in the world, and through the feelings of the souls Porky hurt, the Dark Dragon devoured his soul. Meanwhile, the dead victims of Porky - yūrei - could not rest. They each harbored some strong emotion that forced them to stay in the mortal world. With Porky banished, and their wills sated, the spirits of the dead can now let go of their pasts and move on."

"Move on where?"

Poo gives into a gentle smile. "Who knows? What awaits us after life is a mystery."

---

Author's Note:

Aha. Life do be busy, but I am here. (´▽`ʃƪ)

Watching my writing improve is incredibly rewarding, but discovery writing also makes a lot of my earlier mistakes stand out in contrast. Ahaha whoops! (ノ*°▽°*) I think that's why I wanted to try a second take on a realistic plot for my newest fic, Don't Stop Me Now.

Thank you for the reviews! I can tell a lot of time went into them, and appreciate that my readers can be honest with my writing quality. Your constructive criticism helps me grow as a writer. (シ_ _)シ

AAA THREE MORE CHAPTERS LEFT! \(O∆O)/
(2 chapters + epilogue)!

Happy reading (*´▽`*)

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SOME REFERENCES:

*In Japanese history, tattoos (Irezumi) have had a mixed reception. They were viewed as negative as early on from 300 AD (Kofun period), as prisoners were often branded with tattoos, though this perception fluctuated until around 1600 AD (Edo period), when tattoos were also an art form. According to Wikipedia, during the Edo period, "irezumi became associated with firemen, who wore them as a form of spiritual protection." In modern day Japan, many negative feelings towards tattoos most likely stem from the Meiji period, when the government outlawed tattooing with the idea to protect the Japanese image overseas, and from the Yakuza.

*In Japanese mythology, Yūrei are departed spirits who were denied a peaceful rest (aka "ghosts"). Yūrei can't move on because they have reasons/strong emotions trapping them to the mortal world. According to myth, there are several ways for Yūrei to move on, but the easiest way is to satisfy these personal reasons/grudges. Another reason Yūrei may stay trapped in purgatory is if no post-funeral rites are performed after their passing.

*In Japanese mythology, dragons are synonymous with fortune and good luck, with exceptions being evil dragons like Orochi (Yamata no Orochi, a dragon who also shows up in the video game Okami). In Japanese folklore, dragons have 3-toed claws (unlike Chinese dragons, which normally have 4 or 5), and are associated with rivers and water (a notable example being Haku in Spirited Away). Unlike their Western counterparts, Southeastern Asian dragons tend to be wingless, and resemble serpents (similar to the dragons in Breath of the Wild). However in Mother 3, when the player enters the Forest Prayer Sanctuary (shrine), there is a depiction of two dragons (one black and one white, resembling yin and yang), both with wings. I wanted to pay homage to Japanese culture (hence my decision for a mixed Eastern/Western look for the Dark Dragon).

*In Subspace (and Mother 3), the player fights a boss named the "King Statue." Though fighting this boss is optional in Mother 3, only two attacks can defeat it: PK Flash (which has a chance of an INSTANT KO), and a New Year's Eve Bomb (which can reduce its massive HP to 1). Canonically, Lucas can also learn PK Flash.

*In Subspace, there's a cutscene where Lucas trips over a tree root, but when the camera pans down, the root is wrapped over the back of his ankle. This raises the million dollar question: how did Lucas trip if his ankle ended up underneath the root?!

*In Mother 3, PSI fevers occur right before a character learns a new PSI move (i.e. Lucas, Kumatora). Treated as a status ailment, once inflicted, the affected party is temporarily unable to "dash". Similarly, I like to think that suddenly nerfing a character could cause a fever to happen (and though not explicitly stated, I imagine that both Ness and Lucas had fevers of their own shortly after setting foot in Smash City for the first time - a detail I wanted to add to Don't Stop Me Now, but forgot to add into earlier chapters).

*The first three tweets (the OP + 2 responses) are (modified but) real quotes under a Youtube video over an unnamed competitive smash player who was accused of sexual harassment. While some of the sexual abuse accusations against the competitive smash community during summer 2020 were false (see Mew2King, innocent but framed by an attention seeker), others were proven true (see Cinnpie, who at 24 years old started a sexual "relationship" with a minor who was 14 years old).

*In Canada, as of July 6, 2021, several unmarked graves of first nation children have been found near Marieval Residential School (more than 700 graves). An "assimilation" school, the school (and others) ripped First Nation Children away from their families, attempted to convert them to Roman Catholics, and used cruel practices (i.e. physical, emotional, and sexual abuse of children) to do so. Their practice and treatment of First Nation People can be considered genocide.

*The brief scene of the dancers in Porky's mansion was loosely based off the Middle Eastern "tradition" Bacha bāzī ("Boy play"). In regions of Afghanistan and Pakistan, this is a practice of pedophilia/sexual abuse that generally happens between older men and boys (especially by older men in power). The consequences of Bacha bāzī have been referenced in books (such as Kite Runner), and in famous documentaries (such as Dancing Boys), both of which I've seen during my spare time. As of the present time (2021), this abuse still continues.

*According to Amazon, an average children's yoyo weighs about 3-5 ounces (with some lightweight yoyos about 2.29 ounces, and some yoyos much heavier than 5 ounces). For reference, an average Ness amiibo weighs about 4 ounces (~100-110 grams on average), and an average Smash amiibo is about 100-200 grams (so basically all amiibos share a similar weight, unless if it's a heavy weight like Bowser or Dedede - neither of whom are in the Twelve). Accounting for air turbulence, I imagined that Porky's pressure sensors weren't too picky to the nearest decimal, and that Lucas replacing the amiibos and yoyo with ness amiibos would trick the sensors, no problem.

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Forestfire34720: AAA Hello you! Thank you, I hope this chapter wasn't TOO ominous :D And to clarify, Porky meant the former. He's very racist in this fic... (racism isn't cool, kids!).

Guest: Haha I hoped no one would notice that I pulled back a tad, but you guys are too perceptive! Porky's interaction with Ness in the final scene was originally intended to be more graphic, but while writing, I scrapped the idea and decided to turn it down a notch (as this wouldn't have added anything meaningful to the story, aside from trauma for the sake of trauma porn). Nice catch!

Conna: Yeah, Ness being passive made the first person POV hard to write! I was worried that the chapter felt too boring (no joke, I am dead serious), but was glad to see that most people thought otherwise. I can't tell if this is a product of me slowly becoming desensitized to these topics after watching all these documentaries, or if this is a product of my shifting writing style (fewer flowery descriptions here compared to For the Power of Love - I'm getting lazy lol).

poberteii: Good point! I personally saw this AU taking place in a setting that has all sorts of diseases unrelated to the timeline of our world (or else Melee would have taken place in 2001!), but you weren't the only person to have brought that particular anachronism up. I think I was just sick of thinking up different ways to describe Porky's wheeze, and COVID was the first thing on my mind. If I can think of a better simile, I'll replace it :)

Blue-Salamon: Thank you! I have no idea how you read all 42 chapters in one week (this fic is HUGE), but I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far :D

SmashBro37: Another person who read this in a few days?! You guys are monsters LMFAO
Lucas is a person too, and while I might be slightly biased with all the "OP Lucas" scenes, this is his part of the story to really shine :) Your analysis is welcome, especially since you brought up similar problems other reviewers have previously stated (i.e. miscommunications: if I could redo the story, I would've cut down on this a LOT). I'm glad that you liked Paula :D Looking back, if this hadn't started off as a crackfic, I would've changed a few aspects of her character (along with Samus's) to be more realistic, but that could also be me looking over the fic with a critical eye. Similarly, the Tazmily Villagers were initially intended to be an obstacle for Lucas to overcome (and still overcome), but I'm not 100% satisfied with the way I wrote their dialogue. The time paradox being confusing was also understandable, because that was poor planning on my part (along with my previous uncertainty about keeping this fic a crackfic). Originally, I was undecided about Claus's vital state, and wrote several scenes (for both if he was alive, and if he was dead), but as the story progressed, it made more sense for Claus to be dead.

You also bring up a good point about the shipping. I think my satire can be too blunt (and overly excessive in some scenes), because the subtlety FLEW out the window in the previous chapter! If it helps, I actually don't mind what people ship, but it was funny to poke fun of how people take ships so seriously :') Overall, I'm satisfied by the ideas I managed to convey in this fic, and am glad you enjoyed the story :D

Maximize: "So are the tortured and murdered children leaving behind a psychic emanation in the room that Ness is able to pick up on?" That was the plan :) And definitely, the toxicity on ships has died down from this particular site compared to 4 years ago (when I first started this fic - hence the outdated ideas), but the ship bashing exists on other platforms :D As for the hard drive, I like to think that Porky just wanted to taunt Ness. Porky has shown that he can be smart when he puts his mind to it (such as planning his slow revenge on Lucas), but ironically his obsession over Ness is what also throws his brain out the window. In general, Porky has particularly enjoyed rambling whenever Ness is around (with some exceptions, such as Porky's confrontation with Lucas in Tazmily Village and in the Christmas closing ceremony). Originally, I had planned for Porky never to refer to Lucas by name (because he looks down on his race), but that idea fell apart. However when I wrote that scene in chapter 33, when Porky meets with Ness, Porky makes fun of Jeff and Paula, but omits Poo for this reason. He sees Poo as inferior, and doesn't bother learning his name. It's such a small detail that I doubt anyone noticed, but it was something I wanted to add. As for Chapter 42, when Paula tries to confess to Ness by sending him a love letter (before it was intercepted by Porky), I like to assume they both coincidentally tried to ask each other out at different points during the same day (Ness asking Paula out at the party, Paula mailing Ness a letter that was intercepted by Porky), but that they spectacularly failed. I wanted to show that our lives have a lot of different paths that we could've all taken, and that even the smallest bump in the road could change our trajectory.

MysteryV/most recent Guest/MagicMistressV: I'm guessing you're all the same person! You brought up a lot of valid points, and all points that I actually wished I could've done better with the story. Ness and Lucas's relationship starting off was very bumpy in the earlier chapters (with me unsure of how to portray their relationship, and unsure if this fic would purely stay a crackfic), and I think most readers caught onto this before I solidified the plot. If I could go back in time, I definitely would've fixed this. "I also think Lucas would be more protective because of what happened to Claus and he doesn't want to lose someone like that again": I wholeheartedly agree. While this idea was touched upon in later scenes, I believe this should've been introduced MUCH EARLIER into the story (and should've been much more pronounced). Another point I agree with: Lucas listed good reasons not to (initially) enter a relationship. Personally, he couldn't have gone wrong with staying single (and as you mentioned, the transition into him liking Ness was- imo -sloppily done), but in this particular AU, I tried to highlight the home environment Lucas was raised in, and his struggle coming out of the closet (which also could've been incorporated much more smoothly into the plot, along with his attachment issues). Personally, I like to write Flint as less of an extremist, but wanted to stretch the limits on his character in this story :) And speaking of extremists, I agree with your take on Samus's character. Samus threatening Ness was an inappropriate thing to do, and honestly, I have no idea why I thought that scene was okay 4 years ago (maybe it was because I treated this AU like a crack fic? I remembering treating this as a crack fic for the first 10-15 chapters or so).

As for why Ness doesn't seem to get along with other smash characters (aside for Popo) can be partly explained, because I had to cut out content. For example there was originally supposed to be a Toon Link arc, where Ness's interactions with some other smashers would've taken center stage (i.e. BOTW Link and Sonic, to name a few), but I was forced to cut it out when Porky started resurfacing as a threat (and didn't want to dilute the plot too thin). Luckily, I'm not too worried about the potential "Ness disrespect" overshadowing the fic (I don't want to spoil the last few chapters), but I do agree that some smashers showed definitive preferential treatment to Lucas (and were harder on Ness). Your review actually encouraged me to add a small snippet to address this problem in the chapter :) While it's not much, and doesn't fix the issue entirely, I hope this helps!

And nice catch on the discrepancy! Your confusion over the timeline on Lucas/Ness's friendship is understandable, and that's on me for the poor phrasing. In this AU, I like to think that Ness and Lucas got along early on (as their childhood memories show), but became particularly attached after Subspace, especially after Ness saves Lucas from Porky. Let me fix that! :) Thank you for your feedback! It confirmed what things didn't work out, and what did.