What do you think was the crackiest thing I have ever written? "Something about Spoons?"? "Do You Wanna-"? "Warlocks, Dragons, and Coffee"? Well, disregard all of those, because THIS takes the cake. If you don't believe me, take a look at the character list.

Disclaimer: I would have owned Merlin, but then Gwaine started flirting with the show writers and ended up with the rights instead.

Prompt: Inpired by pezzz: Gwaine would probably flirt with a lamppost...oh to be that lamppost.

Rating: K+

Genre: Humor

Characters: Gwaine, a lamppost, and mentions of Merlin, Percival, Arthur, a wy-pheasant, and a dog

Time Frame: Post Season 3

Summary: Gwaine's flirting habits are out of control. The very definition of crack.

Let's Go On An Adventure

It was not uncommon to find Gwaine (and that's Sir Gwaine to you) drunk. It was also not uncommon to find him flirting with someone...or something.

Typically he flirted with any human, but then again, Merlin swore to anyone who listened that Gwaine flirted with a wy-pheasant once.

Okay, okay, anything that walked on two legs.

Nope, wait, Percival caught him sleeping with a dog that looked suspiciously like the lone dog statue outside.

All right, fine, anything that breathed oxygen.

Tell that to the poor, traumatized lamppost from Arthur's closet. Poor thing will never recover.

A lot of mini Easter eggs. Almost every line has one.

-The title plays off of "Lancelot and Guinevere."

-"And that's Sir Gwaine to you" is from The Coming of Arthur Part 2. It's one of my favorite lines in the episode.

-A wy-pheasant is referencing the fact that the definition of a wyvern is actually a really big pheasant.

-The dog that "looked suspiciously like the lone dog statue outside" is the reanimated form of the other statue, as seen in Valiant.

-Finally, the lamppost from Arthur's closet just means that his closet is the entrance to Narnia.

Thank you AutumnMoonlightShine4, Falling Willow, Geccarenee13, ImpalaToDream81, KisetsuWaTsugitsugiShindeiku, Let's go home Hide, MythologyStar, Rose PenGibbAck DragoSHaddo, ScruffydaDruid, Skypeoplephoenix732, SweetangelSeve, Sword1428, TheDarkestDreams, artistialyanartist, cbonecrusher1st, goodgirl275, himeisawriter91, hollyhobbit101, lexi1220, pezzz, roseannacharlotte, sarahmaria98, skydoe16, and winter368 for favoriting.

Thank you 1 of 1 secondary drone, A minor government official, AnimeFreak132002, AutumnMoonlightShine4, BlankAce, Childatheart28, Doughnut Holschten, Falling Willow, Geccarenee13, ImpalaToDream81, Jetom, KisetsuWaTsugitsugiShindeiku, Let's go home Hide, Linorien, MythologyStar, Rose PenGibbAck DragoSHaddo, ScruffydaDruid, Seedsiz, ShadowsRising, Skypeoplephoenix732, Smallville Girl, SweetangelSeve, SummerElfOwl, TheDarkestDreams, WEast, bonecrusher1st, goodgirl275, henr4588, himeisawriter91, hollyhobbit101, lexi1220, mersan123, morningstar115, neal4grissom, pezzz, roseannacharlotte, skydoe16,tara hitge, and winter368 for following.

Thank you KisetsuWaTsugitsugiShindeiku, goodgirl275, pezzz, morningstar115, MythologyStar, and Seedsiz for reviewing.

Next tlme, you will discover the real reason behind everyone's good (or bad) luck during hunts. At least, Arthur will.

~Lya200~