"Johnathan Joestar seems like he was a pretty polite gentleman," Giorno commented partway through.
"Believe me, he was, and basically the boyscout of the Joestar clan. But then Dio had the bright idea to go and shove his poor dog into an incinerator-"
"Wait. There's a power like that?"
"Well, yeah. But magical sunlight breathing punches that only a few can harness isn't really super useful against stuff other than vampires or zombies-"
"And then Dio was all like 'Wryyyy, imma blow your face off with my Space Ripper Stingy Eyes!'- and yes, that was literally what they were called- and then Dio's head flew away-"
"What. His head did what?"
"I know, right? His head went all tentacle monster mode and was like 'No Johnathan, your body will be mine!' and stole the body of Johnathan Joestar whilst simultaneously hiding in a second coffin from the explosion somehow. And then was trapped at the bottom of the ocean for a hundred years before getting pulled up, eating a couple women and inadvertently knocking up one that would birth us. And no, I don't know how to feel about it either."
"This...is a very strange universe we live in."
"Yup! You could call every Joestar's life...a bizarre adventure!"
Silence.
"Yeah, that was bad."
"But what happened to Joseph Joestar?"
"Oh, that was fun to watch. First of all there were super ripped alien Aztec vampires that were so handsome, they would probably change your orientation- dang it!"
"What?"
"I can't show you the awesome dubstep that played with it!"
"And so Stroheim came back as a cyborg nazi, and possibly even more patriotic than before and filled to the brim with guns and enough lasers to make a rave-"
"Caesar fought with bubbles. Pretty unorthodox, yeah. But Kars had the most epic of powers: turning his hand into a rabid vampire squirrel."
"You know, I should probably feel more surprised about this, but I'm not."
"And then Joseph ended up crashing his own funeral, living out his days until in 1988 Dio resurfaced as a timestopping, metrosexual and ambiguously gay vampire."
"...hm. I may have inherited a bit of his fashion sense."
"Truly, the best thing you could've gotten next to the Joestar genes."
"Yadda yadda, journey across the world to Egypt with Jotaro, Stands harassing them at every turn, some people dying in the end except for the Joestars and Polnareff-"
"...Polnareff? He was with them?"
"Oh yeah, you know him, don't you? Yup, he was. But the big fight with Dio? There was lots of time stopping, knives, and road rollers involved, until he somehow died by getting punched in the leg. Really hard."
"How-?"
"Really, really hard."
"I'm sensing a pattern here."
"Oh? Please, enlighten the peanut gallery, mafia don."
"So Dio could stop time, there was this serial killer with the ability to rewind time, Diavolo could erase time, and Pucci accelerated time."
"Huh. The universe seems to have a thing for lobbing overpowered Stand users at the Joestar line, doesn't it? Or murdering literally any dog that they come into contact with. Poor Iggy."
"...and that's about it!" I finally concluded with a relieved huff.
It had taken a few hours, but Giorno was finally caught up. To be honest, the poor guy looked pretty dazed by the rundown I'd given him, shattering all his preconceived assumptions about what his father(s) had been like.
It was probably a little traumatizing, knowing your progenitor was a century old vampire bodysnatcher that raved on about his own importance to a ridiculous degree.
I felt kind of bad for being the bearer of bad news (hah, alliteration), but it had to be done. But now, with all said and done, what were we going to do? About the future. Nothing to be done about our sperm donor, unfortunately, at the moment.
"Do you have any goals for the future anymore?" I suddenly asked out loud. "You had your whole stint with Passione, but do you wanna do the same thing all over again?"
Suddenly, Giorno looked lost. "I...don't know. I still want to dethrone Diavolo again. That has to happen so he doesn't get his hands on the Requiem Arrowhead. But…"
"...to do that would risk your friend's lives all over again, right?" I finished softly. "I agree. I also have people I want to protect, or prevent from dying." I nudged his shoulder meaningfully.
His lips turned up in a shaky smile. "I suppose. But besides that, and preventing the disastrous Made in Heaven from occurring, I'm unsure what to do for once. With you here, and us in an orphanage, things are already derailed from the original timeline."
My own lips twitched into a smirk. "I guess that's what we'll do then. Since things are already wonky, why not just keep going? Just use what we've learned as guidelines, and make our own path. Our own 'heaven, and try our best to keep those we love safe'."
In other words, screw fate because that sort of thing was complete and utter BS. And screw Pucci, Made in Heaven and the horse it rode on.
The long shadows and silence of the night crawled across the nursery, only broken up by the occasional sniffling of children mid-dream. The twins had been moved to an older ward of kids, all toddlers, and so not many would wake up in the middle of the night screaming for food or diaper changes. This made the middle of the night a perfect opportunity to practice some specific things.
Namely, my Stand abilities.
When I finally had this fairly obvious thing pointed out by my resident time traveling mafia don, I was understandably sheepish and asked for help unlocking my ability. But this wasn't quite what I had in mind for training out my innate superpower.
An intense stare burned into the wooden block sitting innocently in the floor. I willed something to happen. Burst into flames! Freeze into ice! Something freaking occur, for the love of all things food in this miserable world!
Just like the last five times, nothing did. My eyes twitched.
"Are you sure that this will help?" I mumbled, eyes narrowing and threatening to burn a hole into my target.
From my periphery, Giorno shrugged helplessly. "Some Stand abilities are obvious from the outset, but some require time or thought to be made clear. Focusing on things helped in my case."
I glowered more fiercely than before, a scowl twisting my features. "Focus that doesn't seem to be doing anything."
"Perhaps…" In between blinks, I caught a glimpse of a golden arm whipping away as the block changed into a giant stag beetle, writhing and squirming towards me. The black chitin of its exoskeleton glimmered menacingly in the low light.
My eyes went wide. It skittered closer, mandibles flexing. A high pitched shriek escaped me, although I would never admit it. I was a woman, not a little girl!
Something within me clicked, my fingers snapped without me thinking, and then the air distorted around the bug, crushing it and compacting it down to size. Fluids tried to escape, but were forced back down into an orb of organic gloop that used to be a beetle. I stared, the distortion rippling back out of existence with a light fwoom of displaced air, and dropping a shiny, dense bead in its place on the floor.
Did I just do that? I glanced down at my hands, power thrumming through my fingertips and making them tingle slightly. A grin threatened to split my face.
"Me dispiace, signora. I guess that it was just a matter of motivation," my golden sibling chuckled beside me. "Impressive display."
I ignored him, instead eagerly grabbing at another block and tossing it into the air. My fingers connected in another snap, and this time I could tell that I had a specific range that the effect could be applied to, not just a small bubble. The effects were more than just compressing things.
The wood of the block was stretched out like taffy midair in the distortion, winding until it was a good foot long. My lips pressed against each other firmly, deep in thought. The very light that passed through the distortions was warped, like…
"Like space was bending and warping…" I concluded, a rush of glee hardly able to be contained.
I quickly found that my free range of big effects was limited to my five meter range. Two smaller bubbles, each about 10 cm in diameter, could be split off for a ranged option beyond that, but disappointingly, that wasn't able to be used in tandem with my close range. It was either one or the other, to my chagrin.
The bubbles of space could theoretically be used to shred anything in their path with great speed, potentially destroying vital organs from a distance, or other kinds of obstacles. There was one other thing I was eager to try, though. Wormholes, the theoretical holes punched straight through space time to connect two different areas.
That grin of mine was no longer suppressed as the two bubbles formed again, one bobbing a good distance away and the other nearby. They warped until they connected with an inaudible click that rang through my mind.
Giorno looked on in curiosity, clearly wondering if this would even work.
Another helpless block was sacrificed for the sake of whatever pseudo science Stands abided by, tumbling into the churning abyss of the bubble. And then, a distinct clack sounded when it hit the wooden flooring below the other one.
I swallowed the girly giggle that wanted to well up. My hand entered the one before me, popping out at the end of the other bubble. The blue fingers wiggled in the darkness, a good meter away from the edge of my range.
With all the star imagery and space abilities, I guess you could call me...a Cosmic Girl!
Occasionally, I would notice a particular person come in over the days of our life at the orphanage. It was a woman who wasn't at all Japanese in appearance, with her long blonde locks and dazzling green eyes. She seemed a bit familiar somehow, like in the way you might almost recognize a celebrity, but there were small things off.
She always came in with a bright smile, constantly chattering and helping in our ward of kids. The woman cooed and built blocks with my younger self at the moment, playing the part of baby supervisor for today.
I squinted hard at her, the nagging feeling in the back of my head growing to a burning need to know exactly who this was. "Hey, Giorno, do you know who this lady is?" I finally muttered to my sibling.
The mafia don was occupied with Haruno at the moment, gently stroking his hair in a way that I thought might be a little addictive with how he could also feel the sensation. Gold Experience's head snapped up at my question, pausing.
"I've heard people calling her Kujo Seiko. I don't know much beyond that."
My eye twitched, wondering how I had missed something like that. Maybe I was less perceptive than I thought.
At any rate, Kujo Seiko. The surname was a pointer towards Jotaro's family, but it could easily be some other Kujo or something. But that didn't fit with the foreign looks the woman had about her, with the distinctly European facial features she carried. At any rate, if she was related to Jotaro, I didn't recall any Seiko-
My eye twitched more violently, the urge to facepalm becoming stronger every second when I remembered that the name Seiko was a nickname for Holly. Holly Kujo, foreigner to Japan, but married into the country to Sadao Kujo and with the exact hair and eye coloration of this woman.
I blanched, suddenly wondering if Pucci's 'gravity' ideology was screwing with me. It would explain being born as a twin to Giorno and something like this happening besides pure chance. But again, screw that.
"How did I not notice this!" I shrieked incoherently in frustration, turning back to my brother and gesturing wildly. "That woman is Holly Kujo, part of the Joestar bloodline! We gotta do something to make her take us home with her!"
Giorno hummed in acknowledgement, thinking. "If that is the case, then I believe I have a simple solution to our predicament."
My brows raised. "Then please, enlighten me. Your plan?"
He tapped his left shoulder. "All those of Joestar blood have the star marking, correct? And so if one of our younger selves coincidentally shows it off..."
"...Holly will notice, and being the bleeding heart she is, will want to adopt." I grinned. "I like it."
And so it was set in motion just the next day. It was early spring, nearly April, and so no one would notice if someone just moved a couple clothes here and there to the top of the pile, stuff like a summer dress for Haruka. Perfect to show off that Joestar glory.
"Bye bye Jotaro~! Be good!" Holly Kujo happily waved her son off, ignoring the scathing remark that undoubtedly was shooting off from his lips. Really, he was a good boy inside! If only he showed it more…
The silence of the house greeted her as she came back in, empty and alone. But she didn't let it get to her, humming and skipping along to the kitchen to ready her own lunch bento for the day. Soon that was done, and the woman threw her things into a purse for her daily trip to the orphanage.
Holly paused by the old toys that Jotaro had played with as a child, singling out a dusty yellow ball. She sighed in memory, fingers playing across the surface. She missed the happy, young son she'd used to have. Maybe that was why she spent so much time volunteering for the poor children at that place.
She brightened as an idea struck her. The mother went and retrieved a bigger bag, and quickly stuffed it to the brim with some of the toys that had rarely been used.
"The children will be so happy to have something new to play with!" She squealed, rushing out the door and towards the street.
The cute little place was somewhat far from her home, so Holly typically took a nice long stroll there, basking in the spring sunshine and chirping birds. After a half hour of walking, the building came into view, somewhat degenerated from lack of funding, but still going strong. A sign up front declared it to be the Gyousei Orphanage, and she glanced at it one last time before entering.
A frazzled looking receptionist met Holly's eyes, brightening as the young woman realized just who it was. "Morning, Seiko-chan!" she greeted, looking relieved. "We really could use your help today."
Holly grinned back. "Morning, Amiya-chan!" She chirped. "Let me guess, the babies need more looking after?"
"Exactly!" Amiya cried out. "We always need more helping hands. It's like there are never enough to go around these days!" Her rant was cut short, attention grabbed by the extra bag Holly carried. "What's that?"
The Joestar smiled. "Toys for the kids, of course!"
"Always so thoughtful, Seiko!" The receptionist replied happily. "Now go on in and help out!"
The two parted after a brief hug, Holly heading down the hall and towards the noisy toddler room. Ah, so nostalgic to have little ones needing clothes or diaper changes. The sounds only grew as the door was gently pried open, shrieks and cries echoing in her ears.
She looked around for a place to start, setting down her things. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a part of familiar looking twins peeking out of their cradle, babbling syllables excitedly.
"Haruno and Haruka!" She gasped dramatically, going straight towards them. "How are you two cuties doing? You look so adorable today, yes you do!"
Haruka giggled, holding out her chubby arms in the universal gesture for 'hold me!'. Holly lifted her up and twirled her around, making the little girl shriek in delight before coming back to a rest in her arms.
"Such a nice dress you got today, Ruka-chan!" she gushed, inspecting the toddler's attire. "You look so good in blue-"
She stopped short, green eyes widening as they landed on a familiar star shaped marking on the little girl. On the back of the left shoulder, just like Holly's own birthmark. Just to be sure, the mother hastily pulled her shirt back until she could see it and compare. They were the same.
Placing Haruka back in her cradle, Holly looked over the little blonde boy beside her to find that he too had the same marking.
They were part of the Joestar bloodline, that was for sure. The only question was, who on earth had birthed them? Unless her father had some kind of affair with a Japanese woman, there was probably some long lost cousin to the Joestar clan wandering around out there.
Right then and there, Holly Kujo made a decision. They were in an orphanage, but they were part of her family. She also missed looking after little kids all the time.
So she went up to the main office and made a demand to adopt them. It was a little more complicated than that, though.
First there was the piles and piles of paperwork to be done, house visits to make sure Holly would be able to provide for the children she was adopting, and other various things that had to be done first. Finally, after a month of waiting, her application went through and things were finalized.
It was an arduous task, but all that hard work and patience paid off when Holly was able to pick up the twins and officially call them her children. Haruno and Haruka Kujo squealed happily as they bounced along in their carrier all the way home, until finally, the three of them made it to the Kujo household.
"I'm home!" She said cheerfully to an empty house, smile a little sad. If only Sadao was home to see this, to have a chance with his new son and daughter! Sometimes she wished he would stop by more often, but his job was a demanding one.
And when Jotaro came back later that day from school, he was greeted by the sight of two little bundles of energy wriggling all over the floor. His eyes widened, one twitching slightly before he brought his hat over them with a loud, exasperated sigh.
His mother looked up, surprised, greeting him with a happy wave. "Say hello to your new siblings, Jotaro-kun!"
"Yare yare daze," he grumbled beneath the shrieking of the twins.