((WOW! Hello again. It has been far too long. As an update, this story is NOT abandoned. I don't plan on ever abandoning it, but, as you all know, life comes at you fast. I hope you are well. And for those of you who stuck around and made it this far, you are the BEST! I think the amount of chapters is enough to scare new readers away, even if they are short. Oops! ^_^ Fun Fact: This thing has been in the works since early 2013, I believe - possibly before. Either way - almost TEN YEARS! Wild, right? So many things I'd do/write differently now (like the over exposition/info dumps in the beginning - YIKES), and maybe one day I will go back and edit it. But for now, first thing's first! I am focusing on completing this story. Anywho, enough of my rambling. :) Enjoy!))

"Birds of a Feather" (Rose)

The silence seems to pull the very air down to weigh upon our shoulders. Gaius looks as if he wants to break it, puffing up with breath every so often and then deflating himself before he says anything.

I look up from my fiddling fingers and weakly smile at him, not knowing what else to do.

He returns with one of his own, far more tender than mine. "You look very pretty, Rose," he comments. "It's a beautiful dress."

"Thank you, Gaius," my gaze turns back to my hands.

"Your mother loved that color." Feeling confident the direct attention has shift from me, I glimpse at him once again. Gaius's face is adorned with the picture of thoughtfulness, complete with a small twinkle in his eye.

I find myself involuntarily smiling. "She always did have an affinity for the softer things in life. It doesn't surprise me a pastel caught her eye." As we resettle into an anxious quiet, my thoughts begin racing. I want to assist Merlin but can't for risk of exposing him. I also wish to disappear altogether.

"What is it, dear?" Gaius crosses to sit next to me. I didn't realize how much I'd been nervously moving around in my seat.

As I part my lips to speak, any thoughts at attempting to conceal my true feelings fall away almost immediately. "How did everything become such a mess?" The ever-faithful tears prickle at the inner corners of my eyes. "I can't help but feel as if everything I do is somehow wrong or will at some point be wrong. Surely my behavior tonight was nothing short of irresponsible."

Gaius sets his steady hands on his knees. "Why on earth would you think that?"

"Because," I begin my ramble. "I accepted this dress though I saw it in the visions. Then I went to the party in this stupid thing, and, to top it off, I danced with Merlin - full well knowing that we practically opened the door for more of the visions to come true. How foolish can one get?"

He calmly responds, "You did not cause these things to be." I simply blink. Though I never directly stated the root of my worries, he pinpointed it with ease. "You did not make the dress nor ask for it. You did not throw this party. I also assume you did not ask Merlin to dance." He quirks an eyebrow. A thoughtful pause. "Did he ask you?"

I shake my head warily. "Arthur released him of duty only if he would dance, so he was rather forced."

"Oh, yes," Gaius rolls his eyes. "Dancing with a beautiful woman must've been horribly painful for Merlin to endure."

My cheeks flare up with heat. "Gaius!"

"Rose!" He mirrors my tone, and I cannot keep the smile from sprouting onto my face. We share a few quiet chuckles. Comfortable silence drifts through the air once more. I think of Merlin and feel my body tensing back up. I can only hope that Morgana does not discover his snooping.

Gaius's voice breaks through my spiraling thoughts. "I'm sure even if something befalls him, no doubt you will set things right," he gently offers encouragement.

"I do not know how you find it in yourself to continuously believe in me, Gaius, but I am thankful," I rise to my feet with a soft smile. "I think I will retire and deconstruct this," I gesture to my getup. "A little distraction may help me."

He smiles understandingly at me. "I would agree."

I nod with an almost embarrassed grin of my own. "Thank you, Gaius, for always dealing with my messes with such grace."

"My dear," he takes my hand before I can stand. "Your 'messes' are my privilege. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of a life so precious and great."

I wrap him in a hug, a warm smile tugging at my lips. "You know, I believe they say something about birds of a feather…"

He pulls away from me with a gentle look of humor in his eyes. "Yes, well," he laughs lightly. "People say many things - hosts of which are wrong."

"But some," I say as I stand to take my leave. "Are exactly right."

My point being made, his expression settles into one of gratitude. Satisfied, I head to my chambers, feeling all of the contradiction and confusion of recent events course through me once more. The things Merlin said to me, the way he looked at me, the way it all broke me and pieced me back together, I can hardly decide where and how to begin processing.

As the events replay in my mind over and over again, I peel the dress off my form and, once changed, tuck it away into a chest under my bed. Even through the thick veil of rumination, it does not escape my notice that Merlin has been gone for some time.

Though the realization tugs at my very core, I make up my mind to trust his skills. Besides, perhaps he needs space. Maybe I do. I heave a sigh and flop onto the bed.

I soon find myself wrapped up in the conundrum of Merlin driven to protect Uther who would have him executed quicker than you could blink if he knew of his magic. Granted, I believe he is ultimately doing the right thing - it just seems a bit cruel that he continuously has to risk his own hide for a man at the center of his suffering. Uther should be thankful Merlin is a good man. If he weren't, both Arthur and Uther would be long dead.

I shudder at the sudden thought of what Merlin and Morgana could have accomplished together in an alternate reality where he shared her twisted values. The terror quickly turns to sadness, as it could also be said of the good they could do together if Morgana would only see the light.

As I shift onto my side, a relentless nagging in the pit of my stomach keeps me awake. I try to breathe through it, gently reminding myself that Merlin is perfectly capable, and there is no need to-

A distant crash resounds and a scream echoes. I spring into action without a second thought, not stopping to answer Gaius's questioning once I rouse him from slumber. I spout out that something is wrong - someone may be injured. Fleeing the room, my heightened senses and speed soon carry me to the location of the ruckus.

Merlin stands at the top of the winding stairs, eyes wide with horror at the sight of a crumpled Morgana now at my feet. I kneel down, examining her wounds. I immediately set to work to stop the bleeding, all the while trying not to move her much as her head wound is grievous. Merlin scrambles down the steps, sputtering in a panic. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I was just trying to stop her from reaching the doors. I-"

"Merlin," I softly interrupt him. "I am about to cry for help. Anyone who comes, I will tell them I heard noises, investigated, and found her like this. Pretend to come when I call."

"But-," he begins to argue.

I cut him off once more. "It'll be fine. Now go," I move to cradle Morgana's head. "Go!" I urge an unresponsive Merlin. Once he takes off, I muster all of the feelings trapped within me and scream out a wretched cry for help. The nearby guards arrive on the scene first with Merlin not too far behind. I request they fetch Arthur and Gwen, and then I call Merlin over to help me.

I don't realize I'm crying until the tears splatter onto my bloodied hands. Gaius breaks into the fog of my mind, taking my shaking hands in his. I snap into assisting mode straightaway, incapable of even registering precisely when he showed up. Arthur and Gwen swoop in with a flurry of questions. I find myself answering mechanically, repeating the words I planned to speak beforehand.

Arthur scoops Morgana up into his arms and makes way for the Physician's chambers. Merlin catches my eye with an alarmed look. The concern in his expression deepens enough for me to subtly shake my head to attempt to communicate not to worry about me, but the effect seems quite the opposite. He doesn't peel his eyes from me until we're at the door.

Bursting through, I busy myself with readying the wash basin as the blood on my fingertips dries slower than the wet streaks down my face and neck.

"Alright and All Wrong" (Merlin)

Gaius takes the lead in directing the needs of the situation, and Rose and Gwen swiftly gather everything. I have to do what I can to make this right. I can't shake the feeling that I am at the heart of the issue in this case. I was trying to do the right thing. I didn't mean for this to happen.

When Gaius remarks that Morgana is having trouble breathing, I jump in with confirming the suitable ingredient to help soothe her. "Dianthus?"

"Yes," he replies, "And a preparation of pulmonaria." I shoot him a questioning look. "Lungwort, Merlin. Quarter of an ounce, ground fine and mixed with violet."

I shuffle through the items on Gaius's shelves as Arthur begins to inquire how this came to be. I wonder if I hadn't fallen asleep if I could have stopped Morgana sooner - perhaps in a different way. I got stuck in my own head, cycling through everything stored up inside me that's been piling up these past few days. It's been exhausting.

Before I can catch up to the present, Arthur offers his help in any way as he makes a hasty exit. The guilt makes me want to puke over the table I'm now in front of.

I attempt to keep my head on straight as I assemble the breathing solution. My hands fumble and knock things over. I nearly curse under my breath as soft hands brush past mine to scoop up the violet petals I've spilt.

Rose now stands at my side cleaning up my mess. As always. I feel my heart crack a bit. I want to talk to her. But now is not the time. And I'm not even sure what I would say if it were. I just want to forget all of this.

"Thank you," I mutter quietly as she crosses to the other side of the table to continue assisting. She musters a nod which is not enough to quell my growing need to hear her voice.

'I am truly sorry for all of this,' I say through our mental connection.

Nothing.

I reach out again. 'Rose?'

Again, no response.

A lump forms in my throat. I am uncertain what to think. Is she deliberately ignoring me?

She and I have never been at any kind of odds before, so I can't tell if that's what's happening here or if it's something else entirely. The telepathic connection between us currently feels like I'm thinking too hard at a brick wall, expecting it to read and answer my thoughts.

Perhaps she's angry or disappointed, but she shows no signs of this as I watch her work. Her calm demeanor is openly shaken, however. I want to hear her thoughts. Even her yelling at me would feel better than this emptiness.

She soon takes the finished mixture over to Gaius. It almost instantly relieves Morgana's labored breathing. It hadn't escaped my notice that Rose added something extra. It also didn't escape my notice that she hesitated the slightest bit to do so.

We find that Gaius and Gwen successfully staunched the bleeding from her wound in the interim. Gaius shifts into preparing to sew the open flesh. Rose attempts to thread the needle for him while Gwen gathers more clean rags. Rose's hands shake too violently to complete the task, so Gaius kindly takes over. She moves to lighting another candle and bringing it over to illuminate the current workspace.

No words are exchanged. It feels as though everyone is simply holding their breath.

"Will she be alright?" Guinevere speaks up as Gaius finishes stitching the gash across the upper left corner of Morgana's forehead.

He snips the thread, answering darkly. "We've done the best we can. I can heal her skin, Gwen, but the skull - the cranium is broken. She's bleeding inside."

I can only see bits of their faces. My eyes fall on Rose, desolate and confused. I can't stand the pressure building in my chest any longer and quickly retreat into my room.

Faint footfalls hurriedly follow after me. I pretend at first to be looking at the contents of my desk, as if they could help the scenario.

Rose comes up behind me, laying a gentle hand on my arm. "I know this is a stupid question," she speaks in a small voice. "But are you alright?"

"I- I don't know," I reply honestly. I find myself speaking again before I can stop myself. "Are you angry with me?"

Her face is visibly stunned at the query. "Angry with you?" The way the words fall off her tongue, it sounds as if it was the most foreign thing in the world. "Of course not." She gives my arm a light squeeze and then releases it. "If my actions on the stairs made you think that, I am sorry. I only wished to try to keep you calm and focused. I did not intend to express displeasure with you."

"It wasn't that," I clarify, half glancing over my shoulder at her evolving expression. "You wouldn't answer me. You wouldn't even look at me."

Her eyebrows scrunch together. "What? When?"

"Just before. In there," I slowly turn towards her and gesture at the door. "When we were working together." Her face does not alter. "I tried to speak with you in my mind."

Instantly, her countenance falls. "I," she pauses, and I prepare to hear the worst - that she didn't want to speak with me. "I didn't hear you."

My stomach drops, not enjoying the implications of her statement. Not that I'd rather hear what I had been previously expecting, but now I truly don't know what to make of what she said.

"I'm sorry," she says with sincerity. "I don't know what's come over me."

"As long as you don't hate my slimy guts," I attempt a joke. But I'm not kidding at all.

She looks up at me. Our eyes lock in their endless tumble. "I could never hate you, Merlin." Her words wash a warmth over me. I believe them. "What was it you tried to say to me before?"

I sigh sharply, moving to sit on my bed. "Just that I'm sorry this happened and that you have to deal with it - and me, for that matter."

A ghost of a smile dons her lips as she joins me. "I will tell you what a wise man once told me not too long ago." She takes my hands. "Your 'messes' are my privilege." She lets go. "Besides, I know you were only doing what you believed was best."

"What do you believe?" I ask, longing for an answer I cannot pinpoint to curb my unease.

"I would say we are playing a dangerous game," she drapes her arms across her chest. "But it's not a game at all. It's just dangerous."

Rose stands solemn and walks toward the window. Feeling somehow better and worse, I cast my gaze to the ground as footsteps resound outside our door, which soon opens to reveal a crestfallen Gaius. He slowly approaches, taking Rose's previous spot next to me. As he sits and observes me, I wish he would scold me or something. But he doesn't. It almost bugs me.

"I had to stop the future," I voice aloud. "I had to stop Morgana killing Uther." I finally look at him as I say, "I didn't mean to do it like this." I know he knew that already, but I needed to say it.

"It wasn't your fault, Merlin," he reassures.

Despite the comfort, I am unable to receive it. "I averted something much worse from happening," I comment to justify my actions, knowing I didn't purpose to do anything wrong - that in the grand scheme of things, this was the better option. I had to try. "I just," I continue in more of a confession. "Wish there could have been some other way." I say all of this for my own sake more than anyone else's.

Gaius only nods and places his arm around me, patting my shoulder.

After a few moments of heavy silence pass, Gaius peers up at Rose's form. "Rose," he catches her attention. "Will you be alright to sit up with Gwen a while and make sure she gets some rest? Sooner rather than later. Exhaustion on all our parts will not bring Morgana back."

Rose, having turned to face him while he spoke, inclines her head. "Of course, Gaius. Please don't worry about me. I'll do whatever I can to help."

As he confirms their plans to move forward, they both tell me to get some rest, that it'll be alright. That phrase has been thrown around tonight. I'm left in loneliness to wonder how everything can be both alright and all wrong?