"You're awfully quiet tonight," James remarked.

"Hmm?" Alex looked up from where she was pushing her dinner around her plate distractedly, as if only just realizing he was there. She attempted a smile that she hoped wasn't quite as half-hearted as it felt, lest he mistake her inattention for her being upset with him.

"Something on your mind?" he asked, curious, inquisitive, as was his manner – like her emotions were something he could diagnose and cure.

"It's nothing," she said with a shake of her head and that slight smile again. When he said nothing, merely continuing to stare expectantly, she sighed, continued, "My TA...she's pregnant."

"That sounds like good news." He may have been intelligent, but sometimes he lacked the emotional insight into things such as this and it was such times that Alex couldn't help but wonder if she'd made a mistake in marrying him. Not that she didn't love him, he just wasn't always the most supportive person in the world and she feared one day that trait would come back to bite her.

"She's conflicted," she explained. "She's young and afraid. Unprepared and overwhelmed."

"Ah," he said with a nod. "The question is, why are you so troubled on her behalf?" he asked, perhaps a little judgementally and Alex felt the sudden need to defend Emily, though she bit down on the urge.

Instead, she chewed her lip for a moment, debating whether to speak her mind. "What if this is our chance?" she blurted out after a minute's thought. "We've talked about adoption for so long, what if this is the child we've been waiting for?" James was silent for so long, she felt her heart sink. "I mean, if you don't want... I just thought..."

"I'll think on it," he promised, reaching over to squeeze her hand with that smile that reminded her why she'd fallen in love with him in the first place.

"I'm dying," Emily groaned in between retches, the little she'd been able to eat that morning making a reappearance.

"I know, Love," Ian soothed, rubbing her back gently. "I know." She may have been acting dramatic, but he certainly wasn't about to tell her that when she still hadn't forgiven him for getting her pregnant in the first place...

"This is all your fault," she accused, glaring (though he couldn't see with her head hanging over the toilet bowl).

"I know," he echoed dutifully. Truthfully, while he hadn't intentionally knocked her up, he wasn't all that upset about it – he knew she was the one he wanted by his side the rest of his life, but she was stubborn and didn't yet see the appeal in settling down...perhaps this would force her hand.

"What kind of idiot can't use a condom properly?" she continued griping, pausing only to wipe spittle off her lips with the back of her hand.

"Hey, now," he complained, "You missed your pill..." He was cut off by her staring at him icily enough to give him frost bite. "Sorry..."

She retched again, then whimpered pitifully. "God, we were stupid," she muttered, more to herself than to him, "How did we let this happen?" Then, she lifted her head to look in his eyes, and said resolutely, "I think we need to put this baby up for adoption..."

"Adoption?" he repeated dumbly, blinking a few times at the announcement as if anticipating a punchline.

"Yes," she insisted sharply. "I'm still practically a kid, Ian. I can't raise a baby."

"I beg to differ..." His posture went rigid, the lines in his face hardening, and she knew she was in for an uphill battle...not that she had been expecting anything different.

"Ian..." she started, tone warning.

"I've seen you with children, Emily," he replied, voice level but with an edge, "You're good with them. I see no reason to think you wouldn't be an excellent mother."

She attempted a smile, but knew it was hollow. "It's not about that, Ian, I can't provide for a baby right now – my meagre TA earnings go towards keeping a roof over my head and paying off my student loans. I can't afford diapers and formula."

"If you're having my child, you'll live with me," he replied, as if it were a given. "I'll provide for you and the child. We'll hire a nanny to look after the child until you graduate."

"And what about in the fall when I apply for the FBI Academy?" she challenged, not liking the way he seemed to have planned the rest of her life for her.

"It's too dangerous," he replied with a distasteful frown. She scoffed at the irony of that statement coming from an arms dealer, but he ignored it. "You'll stay home with the children."

"Like hell I will," she snapped. She'd never been the stay-at-home mom type. "Let someone out there who wants to do that, who wants to change diapers, nurse fevers, and go to PTA meetings do those things. Because right now, I don't."

"I'm not about to give my flesh and blood to some stranger," he said, all ice and steel. "I lead warriors, Emily. I raise warriors. This child wasn't meant to be some spoiled suburban brat..."

"I won't raise this child to lead your life." Her voice was just as cold, just as unyielding.

"Is it that bad a life?" he asked, seeming almost hurt by the insinuation.

"There are so many things I would do to make you happy..." She sighed, the fire behind her eyes gone, replaced by exhaustion. "But I won't do that."

He wasn't one to back down, though. "You're hormonal and emotional right now. Perhaps you'll have a clearer head tomorrow."

She lifted one brow, unamused. "Excuse me?"

"I just don't think we should be making any decisions while you aren't in your right mind." He said it gently, but there was a knife's edge behind the words.

"I think you should leave," she said, her tone becoming dangerous.

"Emily..." he started.

She didn't let him finish. "Leave, Ian!"

He held up his hands in surrender, but didn't argue. He knew better than that.

With a weary sigh, she leaned back against the wall, head in her hands as the sound of the door slamming shut behind him echoed through the apartment. She didn't want to raise a child to live Ian's life – she may have loved him, but she had no disillusions about the kind of man he was. Why, then, did her heart feel like it was in a vice when she said the words aloud? Why did she feel like she was betraying Ian by giving his child away, even if it was to a better life?

In that moment, she wished she had a friend to call, someone to listen without judging her, to commiserate her shitty life choices, to drown her sorrows in ice cream with. Unfortunately, though, the few friends she did have when she'd started dating Ian had been rather vocal about their disapproval and she'd ultimately chosen him over them and now she was paying the price.

For a few moments, she stared at her phone, debating, worrying her lip between her teeth, before dialling the only person she thought might come when she needed them.

She really didn't want to be alone right now...