"You... You want to adopt the baby?" Emily repeated, almost incredulously.

Suddenly feeling shy, now that the words were out there and couldn't be taken back, Alex shrugged awkwardly. "It's something I was considering. I know that you've been worrying about your child's future and my husband and I have been considering adoption for a long time...maybe this was meant to be." Her eyes never left Emily's, wanting her to see how serious she was, how sincere she was in her desire to be this child's mother.

Emily was silent for several moments, quietly absorbing just how badly she seemed to want this baby (wondering what it must be like to be loved that much). Eventually, she nodded slightly, smiled faintly. "Did... Did you want one?" she asked, offering up one of the ultrasound pictures.

Alex took the photo reverently, staring at the little peanut-shaped fetus that would one day soon be a baby – possibly her baby. Her breath caught in her throat and she tried not to let Emily see how overcome with emotion she was. Swallowing thickly, she stammered, "Maybe I could set up a time we could get coffee together so you can meet my husband? I want you to be certain we're who you'd want raising your child before we move forward and..." She stopped talking as Emily laughed softly. "What?"

She shook her head. "I think you're more anxious than I am..."

Alex took a deep breath to slow her racing mind. "Sorry," she said, chagrined. "It's just... It's been a long time since I've seriously considered the reality of having a baby." Her gaze kept catching the photo and her eyes lit up all over again, so entranced by this little life.

Emily watched the emotions play across her face, marvelling that something she'd created by accident could make someone so happy. "I think you'll be a great mother," she said quietly, knowing if nothing else was true, that at least was.

"How did it go?" James asked when Alex walked through the door – practically floating on air – happier than he'd seen her in ages...possibly ever. She didn't reply, merely handing him the ultrasound image, grinning dreamily. "This is our future child, then?"

Alex nodded. "I wasn't sure I'd be able to love a child that wasn't mine, but I already love this baby so much..."

"Don't get too far ahead of yourself, Ally," he cautioned, not wanting to burst her bubble, but needing to keep her grounded.

"I know," she insisted, nodding solemnly. "I'm being cautious. Just...hopeful." She wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face into his chest. "How would you feel about meeting her for coffee? So she can get to know you too?"

He nodded silently, knowing he couldn't deny her something she wanted so badly. He hoped she wasn't setting herself up to get hurt, hoped this girl knew how high Alex was pinning her hopes. He didn't think he could stand to see her get hurt again, the way she'd been when the reality that they'd never have a child of their own first set in.

"I'll schedule it for one of your days off," she continued, blissfully unaware. "She knows you're a doctor, so she understands your schedule is busy, but I think it's important that you get to know each other – we'll have a life-long connection because of this baby."

"Speaking of busy schedules..." James prompted. Alex pushed herself away from him, brow raised, unsure if she liked where this was heading. "You remember how I applied for a position with Doctors Without Borders?"

"Yes..." she said slowly, warily.

"I finally heard back and they've offered me a position." He paused, waiting for her reaction, unsure it was going to be a pleasant one.

Alex remained deathly silent for what felt like hours. "Wh-where?" she stammered, struggling to wrap her mind around the news he'd just delivered like a wrecking ball through all her plans.

"I don't know yet – presumably somewhere hot and inhospitable," he attempted to joke.

"But... But what about the adoption? You said you wanted to go forward with it and now you're just changing your mind? Without telling me?" She was trying hard not to get flustered, but she could feel her blood pressure rising, bringing angry tears to her eyes that she struggled not to let fall.

He gently rested his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look in his eyes. "Ally, it's not like that – I still think we should pursue the adoption, it's obviously very important to you – but this is a huge opportunity for me to advance my career and I don't know that I can afford to pass it up..."

"And I'm just supposed to essentially be a single mother for who knows how long while you're gone?" She choked on an errant sob against her will, betraying her tremulous state of emotion.

Gently shushing her, he folded her into his chest. "We'll figure this out together, okay? Together."

"Ian, we need to talk..." Emily commanded, valiantly attempting to keep her voice from shaking as she settled into the seat across from him in the Black Shamrock – his favourite local bar (presumably because they were fast and loose with carding and tended to attract the rather seedy characters that might be of use to an arms dealer).

"Does this have anything to do with where you've been today?" he asked, brow high on his forehead like he already knew the answer to his question.

Taking a deep fortifying breath, she launched into her prepared speech before he could derail her, "Ian, I'm putting this baby up for adoption. If you want to raise it, you're welcome to, but you'll be doing so alone. I don't want to be a mother right now."

Ian took a long draught of his whiskey. "So, that's your decision, then?"

She nodded firmly, but was betrayed by her inability to meet his eyes just then for fear of seeing the icy blue anger she knew lived inside him. She played with the ring of condensation his drink had left on the table, hoping her hands weren't shaking as hard as they felt.

"And what of us?"

"Ian, I still love you, you know that," she insisted.

He scoffed. "Do I?"

"Adoption has nothing to do with my feelings for you. Maybe in a few years – after I've graduated and have a career – we can try again, really try. We can still be together, have a future." He didn't seem convinced. "Besides," she continued, "Adoption isn't like it used to be. It can be as open as we want...pictures, letters, visits. We don't have to be strangers, just because we can't be parents."

Ian said nothing for so long, she started to wonder if he was ever planning on speaking to her again. Then, just as suddenly as he'd gone silent, he broke out of his trance, face splitting into an almost haunting smile.

"We'll be a family," she promised with a hopeful smile, leaning across to kiss him.