Injunction

The baker took a deep breath. He was close. He could feel it. The ultimate cookie was within his grasp. For years, he'd worked, trying recipe after recipe in a bid to create the ultimate cookie. And for years, he'd met nothing but failure.

But at last, success was near.

He was so close. All he had to do was tweak a few of the ingredients and experiment with the baking time, and he'd have the ultimate cookie. His lips curled. Finally, he would stand alone as the greatest cookie-baker of all time!

But first he had to head down to the market. He was out of some of his most crucial ingredients.

X X X

Weiss, Goddess of Bureaucracy and Generally Crabby Behaviour, glanced down at the emergency injunction.

"What's this?" She read through the form in an instant. Apparently, there was a baker scheduled to meet his end today. In fact, his file was very clear on him having to die on this particular day before a very particular time. There were more than fifteen separate ways he could die ranging from the absurd (a cat jumping onto his face and temporarily blinding him, so he could be run over by a wagon) to the downright gruesome (being crushed under a random stampeding elephant).

However, the injunction in front of her had been filed to prevent him dying for a period of not less than ninety years, which would make the baker one of the oldest mortals in history. Normally, she would have denied the injunction. The system the gods had developed to determine the destinies of mortals was incredibly complex, so changing the fate of even one person could lead to all sorts of problems down the line. Moreover, the vast majority of emergency injunctions were filed by lesser gods who were concerned mostly with preserving the life of some rich benefactor of one of their temples.

Perhaps it was her position as one of the most powerful gods that allowed her to say this, but that was hardly a good reason to change a mortal's fate.

Yet this emergency injunction had not been filed by any lesser god. It had been filed by Death herself.

"Ruby," Weiss growled. "Why is there an emergency injunction involving a baker on my desk?"

Death appeared in all of her terrible majesty. A lesser god would have quailed at her mere presence or thrown themselves at her feet in obeisance. Weiss simply picked up a divine eraser and lobbed it at her wife's head.

"Oh, stop with the whole 'Behold the Terrible Majesty of Death' thing. You're my wife. I'm used to it. Now, tell me why you filed this injunction."

Ruby struck a pose in an effort to appear utterly majestic and wise. Weiss thought it made her look rather nervous instead. It was the pose Ruby used when she knew what she was doing was probably stupid, but she didn't want to admit it.

"That baker is a mortal of great importance," Death intoned solemnly. "He must live."

"..." Weiss leaned forward over her desk. "I'm only going to ask you this one more time, Ruby. Why did you file this injunction?"

"I am Death," Ruby replied. "I do not answer to you."

Weiss reached across her desk and grabbed Ruby by her cloak. She dragged the other goddess over. "I am your wife. You absolutely will answer to me. Now, stop making excuses and tell me. Why do you need this mortal to live? It's been more than ten thousand years since you last filed an emergency injunction. What's so important about this one baker?"

Death pried Weiss's hands off. "He is the greatest baker who will ever live. If he can make it through today, he will bake... the Ultimate Cookie."

"..." Weiss covered her face with her hands. "Ruby, I can't just change a mortal's fate because you have a cookie addiction."

"But Weiss..." Death whined. "It's the Ultimate Cookie... as in the greatest cookie that could ever exist. It's a cookie so great that even the gods will marvel at its awesomeness, and if he dies today, nobody else will ever be good enough to make it. He has to live."

Weiss wanted to say no. She was a cold-hearted bureaucrat with ice in her veins. A mere plea, even by her wife, would not sway her. But as Death began to pout and activate her puppy dog eyes (she'd learned how to do that from Zwei), Weiss felt her resolve begin to weaken. "Ruby..."

"I have to take so many lives, Weiss. It would be great if I could spare just this one."

"But..."

"Please, Weiss..." Death's pout somehow reached beyond the power of a Divine Pout. It was now a Transcendent Pout, a pout that could shake even the Foundations of Creation themselves.

"Fine." Weiss sighed. She pulled out a stamp and marked the emergency injunction as approved. "The baker lives."

"You're the best, Weiss!"

X X X

Now that the emergency injunction had been approved, Death wasted no time in ensuring the baker's safety. She personally protected him until he had created the Ultimate Cookie before dropping a few hints that he should offer the cookies as an offering to her temple.

Having enjoyed the first batch and confirmed that they were, in fact, the greatest cookies that could ever exist, she then issued orders to her most elite reapers.

"Protect the baker," she ordered, gaze stern. "Should any harm befall him... your lives are forfeit."

"Yes, Most Honoured Goddess!"

As her elite reapers vanished to guard the baker, Ruby tapped her chin. The reapers might not be enough.

"Zwei." Her faithful dog appeared with a happy grin. "Send one of your finest to the baker. He looks like the kind of man who could use a good dog in his life."

X X X

Author's Notes

As always, I do not own RWBY. I'm not making any money off of this either.

Bureaucracy!Weiss is no match for the power of Death!Ruby's puppy dog eyes. Also, that baker is now invincible. You could drop a nuclear weapon on him, and he'd somehow live. He could walk into the lair of a dragon, kick it in the head, and then walk out without a scratch.

Also, if you've enjoyed my fan fiction, you should check out my original fiction. You can find me on Amazon and Audible as L. G. Estrella. I've just released a new story, Cosmic Delivery Boy!

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.