Hi guys! Miss me? I hope so! :)
So here we are with a third chapter! I hope you still like it
Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read me, favourite and follow me ^^ I appreciate it very much and I hope I won't disappoint you with this story.
I still found it suspicious for me to publish that much in so little time (is that right? I'm not sure I'm speaking English there ._.)
So here we have what could be called a filler… of sort. Let's say I'm preparing the field for what may come after ;)
I had a question for you guys! Something I forgot to ask you last time. As you may have noticed (obviously -.-') Kyria dreamed of a lot of things.
Would you try to guess whom she's dreaming of? I'm curious to see if you can guess every character appearing here ;)
Anyway, I'm not sure if I will continue publishing that often during the following weeks, but I'll try to do my best!
Do not hesitate to share your impressions on this chapter with me!
Enjoy it!
CHAPTER 3: What it means…
End of the Year 296.
Kyria
The night was dark and smooth. No rain, no storm, no snow to keep awake the castle's inhabitants. Just the calmness of the night, peaceful and quiet. A perfect night to rest. The bed was just as perfect, warm and comfortable. But, Kyria didn't sleep. She lay awake, upside down, eyes on the ceiling, absently pulling the hair from a fur, under her head. She stared and the think. But she didn't sleep.
She wasn't only scared to dream again. She was kind of resigned to her fate now. No, she was thinking of Jon and their conversation in the Godwoods.
I'll help you he said...Could he? Maybe it was what she needed. Another fresh pair of eyes to help her understand the knot of information she had to deal with. She couldn't do it alone. She couldn't think about some of it without breaking down, so how could she suffer long enough remembering everything only to try to make sense to all of this.
It was too much. She couldn't bear all of this. Jon was right, in away. She needed help.
She sighed and looked again at the ceiling. She was glad it was him. Recently she had a really hard time looking at Robb, or Sansa or her parents without wanting to cry. There was always something in her dreams that reminded her of one of them. Rickon was too young and Bran...
She couldn't burden Bran with that too. He was too young, younger than Arya and she already found Arya too young.
But Jon... Even though there were things that made her think about Jon... something was different. She almost didn't think when she told him. It was... natural in a way, to tell him about it. She couldn't describe it. It felt right, somehow.
It was not like she never tried to tell someone else before. She tried many times. Maester Luwin, or Mother, Father even. But she never could. There always was something in her throat that killed the word before she could even think of pronouncing them. But with Jon, once she made the decision, it came naturally.
If she felt bold she almost could say it was main to be. But she didn't like the idea so she didn't say it.
The thing was, even with the confirmation that Jon was indeed going to help her, she couldn't help but feel...lost. Where was she supposed to start? The dreams? The visions? Or hallucinations or whatever they were. There was just so much who seemed confusing. Should she start with the less confusing part? But again what was the less confusing part? The river of Blood? The monster with sharp fragile teeth? The shadow on the beast?
Gods it all sounded like some sort of tail one read to children. Like some funny story with a bad guy and a hero who save the day.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't sleep. The noise of the night and the ancestral Keep were like whispers in the dark. Conversations that were only for her to guess. The creaking of the wood living with the cold air of the night. Like voices in the walls telling stories of more ancient times. Kyria blinked and look at the fire, slowly burning in the hearth.
Some part of her wanted to weep. But she couldn't. She was tired of crying, all the time for the same things. She wanted to understand, to have answers. She almost snorted. It always ended at the same point. Answers. Since the fall, she felt like she spends her entire time looking for it.
Why couldn't she have all of it? Just once? Why did she have to look for it, all the time? Those dreams of hers, couldn't they be clearer? Just this one time! Just to be nice!
But no. Of course not. She had to think about it, and look for it, and try to understand, almost desperately. Because of course, her life wasn't complicated enough already.
Kyria blinked and look at the fire. She needed to sleep, she knew that. But she didn't feel tired. More than half of the night must have passed already, but she still couldn't sleep. For one second she thought about going to Jon, to see if he was sleeping, to talk to him if he wasn't. But no. Going to Jon also meant going to Robb.
The boys had been separated recently, more to satisfy Mother's wish than anything else, but Robb still spends most of his time talking with his brother in Jon's rooms. More often then not, the boys were found asleep messily in the morning, Jon Robb and of course Theon. With a bottle of wine most recently.
No, she had to deal with it on her own. She had to organize her thought, as much as she could. She needed...
Yes, that could work. That could definitely work.
Kyria pulled out of her bed and found some paper and quill in her desk. Or what she used as much. She sat carefully on her table close to the fireplace and took a deep breath. She could do this. Clarity. That was what she needed. Clear proper carefully made list.
A list. Lists were good. Lists were useful.
Slowly she started with a first one. The places the thought she sees in her dreams. There were mostly the same. Only four or five different places. Maybe six. She enumerates them one after the other, describing the rooms or the light or the floor. Anything she could remember. Places were easy, as it wasn't the most disturbing thing she ever saw.
Blood Splashed in the wall.
Well... most of the time.
Then came the harder list. The characters. Or the... beast? She wasn't so sure. All of it was way to confuse. But this was precisely the reason why she must do this. To not be so confused anymore.
So she enumerates them too.
The beast.
The shadow.
The man with feathers and long fingers.
The little creature with red feathers and bright blue eyes.
The Wolf king with the face of the handsome man.
The big monster with sharp but fragile teeth.
The mad dog with foam on his mouth and mad eyes.
The white crow with sad eyes and harsh claws.
All of them. The peoples too.
The beautiful lady without a face.
The beautiful boy without a face.
The mother.
The girl.
She didn't write their names when it was about the people she knew. She couldn't. Except for one. She put him at the very end of her list, as she could still see his features as clearly as if he was in front of her. She blinked away the discomfort when her quill traced his name, one letter at a time.
Bran.
Kyria closed her eyes, chasing away the memory of those empty eyes. Now wasn't the time to deal with this.
She took a deep breath and grab another piece of paper. This was the harder part. The scenes... Kyria gulped, sat straight on her chair and dipped her pen in the inkwell. She locked her elbows to stop her hands from shaking and started with the first one.
It took her hours and three pieces of paper to have an acceptable result. She wiped her last tears and put the list with the others. She'll have to talk to Jon again on the morrow. Maybe with those, they could start to understand. Or at least try.
It was always more than that pathetic attempt of explanation she showed earlier in the Gods Wood. She looked at her own writing, shivering on the paper, and thought. She tried to find something else, anything, to do, but nothing came.
Finally, she resigned herself to her bed, as dawn came closer. She'll need some sleep anyway and there was nothing else to do.
She fell asleep as the first ray of sunshine lighted their way to her window.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOo-GOT-oOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"Lady Kyria the sewing lessons are not an appropriate place to fall asleep! You should behave yourself in public, my lady, you are a noblewoman! You must behave accordingly to your birth." irked Septa Mordane with this high pitched voice every girl in the Keep learned to hate.
Kyria mumbled her apologies and rub the sleep out of her face as properly as she could. She found Arya's surprised gaze on her as well as Sansa quiet reprobation. Both girls seemed shacked to hear the religious lady reprimand their oldest sister. Kyria spares them a smile and went back to her work.
She wasn't sure of what she was doing... The stitching was rather good, for what she was used to doing, but still, it didn't have any purpose yet. Also, she liked the color. A deep blue that reminded her of Rickon's eyes, darker than Sansa's or even her's. Maybe she could do a dress with this... Or something like that.
"Is everything alright lady Kyria?" asked Jeyne one of Sansa's little friends.
"You seem tired," said Beth, the other little friend.
She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something about those girls that infuriated her. They had this way of talking to her, to Sansa, Arya... anybody she could think of in fact that made her want to nail of their face. They woke up something almost savage inside of her. Something like an instinct to rip them off.
She didn't know what it was and, in truth, she was embarrassed to feel this way. Those girls weren't mean or vile or anything. They were Sansa's friend and with her sister's tendency to isolate herself from the rest of their siblings, Kyria couldn't be more glad for that.
But Still... the feeling was there and just loud enough for her not to be able to ignore. But even so, Kyria couldn't just bark at the sweet pair of brown eyes in front of her to piss off and leave her alone. It wasn't proper!
So Kyria smiled as prettily as she could and responded to the girl's worries.
"I am well thank you."
"Are you sure sister?" asked Sansa sounding as concerned as her friends.
Kyria smiled grew a bit.
"Yes, Sansa thank you."
The red-headed girl moves on her sit and smiled sweetly before going back to her work. Kyria didn't even try to look at what she was doing. If there was one thing Sansa was good at, besides doing everything she was said to do to be a perfect little lady, it was sewing. Some of the girls were good, like Beth or the pretty blond one Kyria keep forgetting the name's, but Sansa had talent. Real talent.
"Lady Arya what is this?" squeak Septa Mordan to Kyria's right.
The old woman was leaning on Arya's work, a piece of grey tissue looking rather...original. To stay polite and not say messy. Which she just did... Oh well. At least it wasn't out loud!
"What was your intention beside ruining a perfectly good piece of tissue?" asked harshly the Septa.
Arya's face blushed furiously. It made her look like a big fruit. With brown hair. And furious eyes.
She mumbled her answer. The septa made a noise that made Kyria's teeth creak.
"A wolf? Well, young lady it certainly doesn't look like any wolf I ever saw!"
There it is, the disapproving voice. Kyria's muscle jaw ticked with the pressure she put to keep her mouth shut.
"The least you could do is make some efforts lady Arya! You are a noble girl of high birth, nobody would want a savage little minx who doesn't know how to do anything as a wife!" sermon the Septa. And did she really just said that? "It doesn't have to be perfect for we both know you don't have your sister's talent, for you couldn't have that level of perfection in this art but at least you could try!"
Good gods...
This woman wasn't good at not showing any form of favoritism... Not at all in fact. How could she say things like that and not expect the inevitable answer?
"I don't care! At least I won't have to marry a stupid prick!" shouted Arya, even more red.
Kyria understood her. How could she not? She would have reacted the same way as the Septa say those things to her.
"Lady Arya!"
"I'm no lady!" shouted back the girl, already halfway out of the room.
"Come back here, young lady! You aren't dismissed yet!" said the Septa.
The door slammed behind Kyria's sister. Kyria sighed. Well, she wasn't surprised.
"How rude." whispered some girl behind Kyria's. It took her a minute to recognize Beth's voice.
Kyria hesitated for maybe one second before going to after her.
"Lady Kyria!" called Septa. "Our session isn't done yet, young lady!"
Kyria gritted her teeth and made her best curtsey to her Septa.
"With all my respect Septa, I think my sister's distress is more important than my new dress right now."
The old woman frown, clearly thinking about it. Kyria's teeth gritted a bit more. This old goat started to piss her off. How could she consider sewing pieces of fabric more important than her Lord's daughter distress? Stupid old goat.
"Let the girl be. She'll calm herself soon enough." the woman said dismissively, clearly not thinking Arya's feelings mattered much in the end.
Kyria could have bitten her head out for that if she could.
"That is your opinion Septa. But Arya is my sister. I can't let her be when she's clearly distressed."
"This is Arya sister," said Sansa, her pretty eyes looking even bigger than normal. "She'll have forgotten everything about it before supper."
Was she-? Did she meet Arya? The most stubborn and spiteful girl Kyria could think of? Surely Sansa knew better. For everything Robb told her about those two, Sansa was the most recurrent victim of the girl's ire.
"Really?" she said not convinced.
Sansa nodded, confident. "Yes, she never really cared about sewing. Or any of the other's womanly arts. She is more a boy than anything else. You can't change our sister behavior Kyria if even Septa or Mother is unsuccessful." she explained with a tone that Kyria had only heard from their mother.
Really? She thought again. She always knew Sansa was naive, but this was something else...
"Well I don't know for mother, but if every lesson with Septa Mordane is like the one I just saw, I understand Arya's lack of taste in the matter," she responded, her anger boiling just under her skin.
"And what is this supposed to mean?" pipped the Septa, feeling immediately concerned.
As she should be. Kyria gritted her teeth once more, restraining the harsh words that were bumping inside her mouth. She couldn't insult her Septa. Even if she was dying to eat her alive, with some verve the Queen of Throne herself would blush for, she couldn't do it. From what she understood of social interaction and the few discussions she had with her Father when she questioned him on the subject, letting her anger talk for her wasn't a good way to make your point in a polite conversation. Or in any conversation for what mattered.
"A conversation is like any sword fight" had said Father the day she asked him, as they sat together on the Godswoods. "If you let your anger cloud your judgment, you will lose every time."
She knew her father was liked and respected for his Honor, but also for his quiet and calm disposition. Which does not prevent him from being feared for his wrath? On the contrary, is wrath was more dangerous than others because of his calm disposition.
Kyria would love to be like him one day. But she too often felt like a volcano ready to explode to be confident in the matter. Father said it was the wolf inside her that made her that way.
She wondered if this same wolf was the reason she didn't go mad with everything happening to her.
She liked the idea.
So, dutifully following her father advice, she took a deep breath and pulled away from any anger she could have felt.
"It means Septa Mordane that I don't think you would have talked to your most talented student the way you just talked to Arya. Am I wrong?"
The older woman blinked and looked at Sansa. She opened her mouth, maybe to defend herself or to respond to Kyria's accusation, but she didn't let her.
"So let me ask you, Septa, is Arya bad at sewing because she didn't like it, or is it because you love so much to remind her of her lack of talent compared to our dear Sansa?"
Sansa blushed.
"It's not my fault if she isn't good at it!" the girl said almost immediately.
"I agree." responded Kyria. "but constantly telling her how bad she is compared to her sister who seems to be the Maiden reincarnated won't help her one bit."
Kyria bowed again and exited the room without letting any of those ladies stop her. She had a sister to see.
Arya wasn't hard to find when she was upset. Kyria only had to find one of her brothers. Bran was with Maester Luwin to practice his letters so Arya wouldn't be there for a kingdom, Rickon was with Mother whatever they were and there was no way in the seven hells for Arya to be there with the argument she just had. Even more, if she's still supposed to be with the other girls and Septa Mordane. Mother would have none of it and would push her back to the room, kicking and screaming if necessary. Robb was with Father for his own private lessons. The heir of the House was privileged special lessons of Lordship with the Lord Paramount of the North. Lucky him.
Which left only Jon. Now At this time of the day, Jon could be found in two places. The courtyard or his chambers.
Kyria tried the chambers first. Empty.
As suspected, she found Arya on the courtyard, intensively observing Jon hitting the training dummy.
Is it dead yet?
Kyria blinked and sat next to her sister. Immediately, the girl was frowning again.
"What do you want?" she growled.
Kyria sighed. Yes, she clearly had already forgotten all about the incident. Good Gods did Sansa only knew her sister? Really knew her?
"Septa Mordane-"
"If you're here to tell me how she was right and I should act more like a lady or anything that you can go to the seven hells for all I care."
"Arya!"
The girl blushed at her favorite brother's reproachful gaze.
Kyria tried not to be upset by her sister's assumption. She tried.
Not a success.
"I wanted to know how you felt but if you take it this way I can go back."
Arya snorted and look at her with suspicion.
"Why would you? You never did before."
"Yes, but that was before," she said harshly.
She was tired of this word. Before. She wasn't whatever she was before.
"Why would you bother anyway? I won't come back! I don't care what Septa or Sansa think. I don't care about all this stupid stuff!"
"I get that," said Kyria.
She wasn't really sure what else she was supposed to say. The girl was stubborn to a fault. Her eyes cross Jon's. The boy moved on the ball of his feet, his practice sword awkwardly hanging on the end of his arm. He looked at her with those big puppy eyes of his, like he wanted to be scratched behind the ears or something. Kyria sighed again, she wasn't in the mood to bother with Arya's mood. She had way too many things to think about. And a conversation to have with her brother.
Preferably without a moody little girl on their legs.
"Alright listen. I didn't like what happened with Septa too. Not at all in fact. She was wrong to treat you like that, and I wanted to know how you felt about it." She explained. " I wanted to- to let you know that I was there for you if you needed it."
She didn't know how to explain it. Arya's behavior wasn't helping. She didn't know how to talk to her like that.
The frown on Arya's face loses a little. She still seemed upset, but Kyria doesn't feel judged anymore.
"You do?" asked the girl. "You think Septa was wrong? Really?"
"Of course Arya. It is not because you don't know how to do something that you're bad at it. And from what I saw Septa don't seem to want to explain a lot of things to you except maybe how different you are from Sansa."
Arya snorted again.
"She wants me to be as boring as her. With her stupid song and pretty dresses. And her stitching!" she said the last bit like it was some kind of insult. Kyria repressed an amused smile. "Why would I want to spend all of my life doing that when there are so many more interesting things to do! Like- like sword fight! Or riding or- hunting! It sounds so much fun! How is that fair that only boys are allowed to have fun!"
Kyria repressed a smile. How indeed.
"I don't understand why I have to do all of this stuff. Why are they always after me? No one never tells you anything when you go for a ride with Jon and Robb. But everyone is always screaming at me when I want to do that."
"Maybe they are screaming because you chose to do what you like during the time where you are supposed to do what you must."
Arya blinked.
"You like to skip your lessons, Arya," said Jon from where he had started to hit the dummy again.
"And so? They are boring me to tears! And I won't learn anything useful anyway!"
"Maybe, but you'll notice people have this tendency to not bother you that often when you, at least, pretend to do what they ask."
The girl frown again. "I don't want to be a lady!"
"No one said you had to be!" responded Kyria on the same tone. "But you could have more freedom if you stopped to fight every single task you have to do in your day."
Arya crossed her arms and look away, a stubborn line on her jaw. Kyria tried another approach.
"You mentioned our ride with Jon and Robb. Do you know why father always allow me to go?"
"Because you're the oldest girl, you have fewer lessons with us."
"But I still have lessons with mother. I have the same amount of free time than you and Sansa, if not less. But I still can do what I want from time to time. Do you know why?" she asked again.
She shrugged.
"Because I do what I'm asked to do first," said Kyria. "When I want to ride, I do what is asked from me and then I go ride. I don't skip my lessons or leave when no one's looking to do anything I want. It's called compromising sister."
"I'm not stupid," grumbled Arya.
Kyria smiled.
"I'm sure you're not. Why don't you try it?"
"What?"
"Alright, that's what we're going to do. On the morrow, in our next fantastic sewing session, you'll sit next to me. And you are going to try. To really try." she raised a hand, stopping any incoming protest. "I'll help you. And if Septa Mordane has something to say on the matter I'll deal with her. But Arya, you'll have to really try. And once we're done, we'll ask Father if you can come with me on a ride. Deal?"
Arya looked at her from the corner of her eye. She seemed to really think about it. Kyria looked at Jon. He had stopped his assault on the dummy and was looking at them. He smiled at her, nodding once.
"You'll help me?"
"I will."
"And we'll go riding after?"
"We will."
"... I accept only if Jon agrees to come with us and to show me how to put a trap in the woods."
"A trap?"
"For hunting."
Jon blinked with big eyes, not expecting to be part of the deal and Kyria laughed and accepted. She made a mental note to observe this lesson with attention. It was something she was curious about too, after all.
Kyria knew she couldn't talk with Jon right now, not with Arya so close. So, as both girls went back to the keep, she went for his ear and asked him to find her in her room later in the afternoon.
She only had time to grab the note she made the night before when he knocked on her door. She opened it with a tensed smile.
"You wanted to talk to me?" he asked.
"Yes, about... what I told you yesterday on the Godswood."
He faces darkened. He sat on a chair without further word and look at her. She bites her lip and presented him with her notes.
"I made that yesterday, after our talk. It's... everything I can remember about my... dreams. I thought... if you read those you could have a better idea of what I'm talking about."
"of course."
He took the paper, and start reading the first one. The places. Kyria waited patiently for him to read all of it, his brows frown in concentration.
After some time he looked back at her.
"Why Bran?"
"What?"
"On this..." he said showing her the piece of parchment, "you put every... the living thing you saw in your dreams. They are all beast or monsters or shadows except for Bran. Why Bran?"
Kyria sighed.
"I don't know. When I dreamed of him... Well, technically it wasn't even a dream as I was awake... it was like he could see me. It never happened before. Every time I am dreaming, I see a lot of things but no one ever sees me. I don't know how to explain this further than that. It's just... like I wasn't part of those dreams."
Jon nodded pensively and looked back at the paper.
"We should start with the obvious." he finally said.
He took another piece of parchment and put it in front of the two of them. The places. They looked at the first one, where the sun had hit her head, and start to think of what it could mean.
They do so for half an hour without any result before Kyria finally offers to go to the Library.
"If we want to understand, maybe we could do better with actual knowledge."
"You're not wrong," muttered Jon.
Once on the Library, they started with the section consacrée to geography. If the sun was hot in her dreams then the place must have been in the south. But even with the description of the said place, without any name or real idea of its location, it was going to be really difficult to found where it was. They keep searching for a good portion of the day, restlessly looking in heavy books full of dust.
All in all, they didn't find much. As expected, unfortunately. She felt relieved thought, to know Jon was looking with her.
Without really realizing it, they started to meet every other day on the library, spending several hours looking for any answer they could think of. Sometimes we were drifting on other subjects we found while we were looking in some book or another.
Even if she started to feel desperate by their lack of progress, Kyria liked to spend her time with Jon. They were building something she didn't get to have with her other siblings. Friendship of a sort.
She liked it.
Sansa's name day went and passed without any other answer more precise than 'there is something to understand here'.
Unfortunately, spending so much time with Jon was hard to miss. Not to mention her mother's hard glance each time someone had the misfortune to mention the new development in Kyria's routine, some of her siblings were becoming quite envious of this newfound closeness. Robb, or Arya, in particular, was kind of upset to be left out of this new thing that was happening.
Kyria started to actively think about it when Arya stopped talking to her for an entire day. Since their chat after this disastrous lesson with Septa Mordane, Arya and Kyria had spent some time together. In their common lessons where Kyria took the habit to help her sister in her stitching technique, or out of it where they went on several excursion out of the Keep just the two of them. Well, with some guard of course but they still get to go out. Arya seemed to love those times.
But, with their quest, Jon didn't get to spend that much time with Arya anymore, and knowing that Kyria still could, made the little girl jealous.
Robb had pretty much the same line of thought. Robb didn't like to suddenly be left out.
He came to them one day, something like two months after Jon had first accepted to help her, his face pleated in some frown that made Kyria gulped.
Jon's frown didn't wait to mirror the one in Robb's face.
They almost fight that day...
"I just want to know what takes so much of your time in this dusty place. Why do you want so much to keep it a secret?"
"Do I bother you when you go for your little secret trips with Theon in the Godwoods," responded Jon, looking ready to fly out of the room.
Kyria sighed. He started to be annoying.
"What are you doing Robb? What do you want?"
"Well, I-"
He raised his hands above his head and start walking around the room.
Jon looked at Kyria. She's had enough of this.
"What do you want Robb? Do you want to spend more time with Jon? Being it just Theon and Jon and you? A boy's things? Well, go on! I don't want to still your friend!"
"Kyria we still-"
"No, no, go on, go spend some time with Robb. And go see Arya while you're at it! I'll stay here for the day."
She almost pushed the boys out of the room, without earing any of Jon's protest. Robb didn't say anything and Kyria was glad for it. She didn't want to hear anything he could have to say.
Once alone, she took a deep breath and looked back at the table where she and Jon put their book and the paper where all of their note was written. She was tired of this. Jon was the only one who helped her and she felt like everyone was mad at her for that. Since when spending time with someone was a crime here?
And why could Arya and Robb spend any time they wanted with Jon, but when she wanted to do the same, suddenly she was a monster?
Lost in her thought, Kyria walked through the library and took one book. Something about Valyrian. The language, of course.
She liked the sound of high and low Valyrian. She liked trying to learn it on her own. It was a nice change from what she was doing every day.
She stayed alone for some time, simply reading her book and trying to forget the mess that was her life.
She was started to fall asleep on her book on the late afternoon when the tip-top of feet against the stone caught her attention
"Kyria?"
"Sansa." she smiled.
The young girl looked shy in the middle of the big library, looking at her sister from under her lash.
"Can I help you, Sansa?"
The girl blushed and shake her head.
"I only came to... to know what you were doing in this place."
...Well, Kyria wasn't an expert, but she could have sworn this was a lie. Why would she spend her time in the library other than for reading?
"Well I'm reading..." she answered instead of calling her for her so clear lie. It wasn't polite to call someone a liar. Even If he was.
She sometimes had difficulties to understand politeness. It seemed so... complicated. And slightly hypocrite.
Sansa nodded and look around.
"Can I... can I stay with you? For some time?"
"Of course you can Sansa. But I won't be of the great company I'm afraid."
She shakes her head. " It doesn't matter. I- I'll sit here."
The girl awkwardly took place on a chair next to her sister and Kyria wondered again what she wanted to stay in a place she felt obviously uncomfortable.
She waited a couple of minutes before talking again.
"Is there something I could do for you, Sansa?"
The girl shacked her head again. "No, I only wished to spend some time with you... if you don't mind."
That surprised Kyria. Not that she didn't like spending time with Sansa, but the girl rarely wished to do that outside of their shared lessons or their evenings together around Old Nan tales. She'd rather spend her time with her friend Jeyne Poole and Beth Cassel.
"Well, of course, you can spend your time with me." she finally answered, politely closing her book on her knees to give her sister all of her attention.
The girl smiles, her shoulders dropping a few inches, looking relieved.
"What were you reading?"
"A book about High Valerian."
"High Valerian? Why?"
"Because I'm curious." smiled Kyria, " and I wanted to know more about the language. Learn it even."
Sansa frowned in confusion. "But, it won't be of any use for you... why would you learn something you are not going to use?"
"And How can you be so sure I won't have any use of High Valerian in my life? I could travel to Essos someday, or meet someone who speaks the tongue."
She still seemed to be confused. Kyria tried something else.
"Do you always prioritize the activities that might be useful later?"
"Yes. Our duty is to learn the best way to occupy our place in society." answer the girl dutifully. "As a daughter of the Lord of a family as old and important as ours, we have to behave ourselves accordingly to our rank."
It seemed strangely similar to a speech coming from Septa Mordane. Kyria, slightly amused told her so. Sansa seemed to take offense.
"We should listen to our Septa Kyria! She knows the way of the Gods and- and- it's her duty to prepare us and educate us to the best of her abilities and-"
"Sansa." Kyria stopped her sister. Good gods could the girl speak fast when she wanted to. "I'm not saying anything except your speech look a lot like something Septa could say."
"I don't see how it is a bad thing..." she mumbled.
"Well, I feel like... it is more her opinion on the matter than yours," she explained.
Sansa tilts her head on a side, like a curious little cat. The confused look was back.
Kyria bites her lips.
This was one of the things she disliked the most about Sansa. She didn't seem able to think by herself. She was like a blank page, everyone around her wanted to fulfill. Mother, Jeyne Poole, Septa Mordane. Every time she voiced an opinion, Kyria could almost hear the voice of the person who's it belonged on top of her sister. When she talked about duty and the art of being a lady, Kyria could hear Septa Mordane. When she talked about knights and songs, she could hear Jeyne Poole or Beth Cassel. When she talked about family, it was Mother's voice. But never Sansa alone. Kyria didn't understand why. She was a smart girl that she knew. Why did she need to count on other people to forge her perception of her own life?
It was something Kyria could never do. No matter how hard she might try.
Little bird singing her pretty songs.
Kyria blinked. Anyway, in her opinion, Sansa needed to speak for herself. She bites her lip. Maybe she could encourage her in this way? It may be pretentious, but if Sansa saw the world from other's eyes, maybe she could make her see it from her own? She was her older sister after all wasn't she?
She needed to be smart about this. Make her think...
"Why do you think it is a bad thing?" asked Sansa, cutting her line of thoughts.
"I don't. Not necessary. Only... I would like to have your opinion. Not Septa Mordane's. Do you understand?"
She nodded but didn't look convinced.
"What if my opinion is the same than our Septa's?"
Kyria bites back a frustrated sighed. This won't work...
She thought carefully about her answer.
"Then what is your opinion?" she asked again, more to gain some time than anything else.
Still, she waited for the answer.
"I think a Lady should not cloud her mind with too much knowledge. It could be...how can I say, inconvenient in her future. It is not our place to learn too many things, like History or language. Our place... we are no men we can't learn the same things or do the same things, or have the same place in society."
Oh my. That was impressive.
"So you are saying that your aspiration in life is to be the perfect lady? To, what, marry any Lord Father will find for you and give him a lot of redhead babies?"
Sansa blinked.
"It- it is what I have to do."
"Really?" asked Kyria again, "Nothing else? Don't you have no other ambitions, no dreams? Just... being a dutiful wife?"
"Well," the girl blushed. "I- I would like- I mean if I could choose... I suppose I'd like to... to marry a southern lord. Like the songs, those minstrels sang during a feast. Like the one Father invite for my name day." she explained, her face suddenly illuminated by the shine of her eyes. "Being crown at a tourney, being... wearing southern silk, living under the bright sun, where it's warm and always busy. Meet the King and the Royal Family, live at Kingslanding-" she abruptly cut herself, blushing brighter.
"Meet the prince." guessed Kyria.
She nodded.
"Oh imagine Kyria! The crown prince! They say his mother is the most beautiful woman of all the Seven Kingdoms! And with everything Father told us about the King, how could he be anything else than wonderful! And he's a prince. It would be like the songs!" sighed Sansa, a dreamy glint in her eyes.
...Well hello, Jeyne.
Kyria tried to hide her concern. She wasn't sure why she felt like that, but something inside her didn't like the fascination Sansa seemed to have for the crown.
Beautiful face. Beautiful Boy within an awful beast.
Kyria blinked. Something...
She tried to concentrate on the current conversation. She could deal with the rest later.
Always later.
"How do you know all of this?"
"The- Jeyne and I, we like to listen to the things people say about the south, and the capital, and- and the crown family."
"Yes I understood that, but this is not what I meant. How do you know this for sure? Have you met the crown prince? Or the royal family? Have you been south?"
"Of course not!" laughed Sansa. "But I wish I could. I wish we weren't that far north, away from everything." she lost her smile. "everything here is so... dull. The weather, the land, the castles...We never get to have tourney, we don't have knight or anything... Only our Godwoods and Hunt and some feast from time to time. It's... it's-"
Kyria loses her smile. That didn't sound good at all.
"You hate our lives that much?" she asked with a pained voice. "I know it's not much... but it's still home... it's where our family had lived for thousands of years..."
Sansa dropped her gaze. Something showed on her face for a minute. An expression Kyria didn't understand. Something sad maybe... hidden under her sister's usual behavior. She looked distressed.
Kyria grabbed her hand. A strange feeling moving inside her belly. Was it...
"Sansa, why did you come to me today? What is bothering you?"
Sansa blushed and look at her hands, her eyes suddenly glassy. She bites her lip, and lower her head a bit more.
"I- How do you- How are you doing it? How do you manage to look at ease with everyone while you... you lost your memories. Don't you feel... different than the others?" she finally asked, her voice trembling at every word.
Kyria took her time thinking about it. Why did she need to ask her this?
"I- I try to be myself I think... Why?"
"I- Don't you feel alone? Different than the other? Out of place?"
Something clicked in Kyria's mind.
"Sansa, do you feel that way?"
It seemed logical, now that she thought about it. Sansa always seemed alone when she was with them. Always sitting in a corner, looking pretty as a perfect little doll. But she rarely talked with the others. She seemed sometimes close to Robb, sometimes she sang to Rickon before she put him to bed. But otherwise, she always seemed alone. Why? Why did she need to isolate herself from them?
She asked her.
Sansa didn't look at her when she talked.
" I- I don't know... sometimes, the things you do together... the way you are behaving...it's not proper. It's not worthy of our Family and our rank." she explains.
Hello, again Septa. That started to be quite annoying.
"Sansa. Can I ask you something?"
"Y-yes" She looked unsure. Almost afraid.
"Do you always think of what is the proper thing to do? Every time you do something? All-day for every single day of your life?" asked Kyria abruptly.
That seemed to be the point where everything started. Being proper...
Sansa looked at her, almost insulted.
"Septa Mordane said Ladies must never forget their manners. That we are noble ladies and that we must act properly, not like the common folk."
Septa Mordane... Or course. This woman felt like some kind of disease attached to the Fun's back. She was a religious woman after all... From what Kyria understood of the Faith of the Seven, a Septa's mind followed only one direction. One thought is good, reject the others. Impure thoughts. Impure gods. Only one religion is the good one, the others are barbarism. Kyria was almost certain she couldn't bear to live a life like that. It felt just impossible. Her own mind was like a tree with always more branch each time she had another idea.
The Seven definitely didn't sound like something she could follow. She'd rather have the old Gods.
The more she thought about it, the more she felt convinced. Adding some personal reflection in Sansa's head couldn't possibly hurt her. No wonder the girl looked so lady-like if she takes every word from this woman's mouth as parole from the Gods themselves.
Again, her Father's councils were fresh in her mind. Think before you speak. Think of the words and the way you want the other to understand.
"Septa Mordane also said that Courtesy is a Lady armor." she finally started.
"Yes, I know she says that a lot. That's why I think it's important to always be perfect in our manners." explained the little girl looking so sure of herself.
Oh dear. Well, she certainly had work to do. Where was she supposed to start with that?
"Well..." Kyria looked at the girl's still chubby face and carefully sit on the closest chair. "You see... I don't think that's what we're supposed to do. At least not all the time."
Sansa sits close to her, her delicate brows frowned.
"What do you mean? Septa Mordane said-"
"I know but-" Kyria cut herself.
Deep breath Kyria, deep breath. It wasn't Sansa's fault. But that Septa started to piss her off talking through her sister's mouth. One Septa Mordane was more than enough.
"I'm just saying- You know what an armor look like don't you?"
Sansa's eyebrow goes up, everything in her facial expression screaming "seriously? You're asking?"
"Of course I know. Men wear armor when they have to fight. At war or during a tourney. I'd like to see it one day. A tourney. Shining knight fighting for honor, southern ladies with a silk dress and beautiful hair."
She escaped a dreamy sight and Kyria fought very hard not to shake her head.
Yep, definitely a lot of work.
Good gods...
"Right. And you know that knight and men, in general, don't always wear their armor."
"Well yes obviously. It must be quite uncomfortable otherwise." again this tone. Almost lofty.
Kyria surely didn't like that tone. She sounded like a spoiled brat.
"Now careful sister. You talk like a spoiled little girl."
Sansa's cheeks reddened, her face insulted.
"I'm not!"
She ignored the scream. It wasn't really important, besides confirming her previous statement.
"You see, that's what I'm talking about. If men don't wear their armor all the time, why should you? Do you think your own family will hurt you?"
"Of course not!"
"Then why does being proper or not matter to you, even when it's just us? I mean come on, everyone here saw you as a baby toddling around like every one of us. They shouldn't be that shocked if you let it go some time to time."
Sansa blinked, a lost look on her face. It was like Kyria just spoke another language. It made Kyria resent more this damned Septa. What was this woman thinking? Why did Mother never say anything! For Sansa's education to be so- so superficial! Like she wasn't raised to-
Oh.
Oh yes of course. Sansa was raised to be the perfect lady. Not like her or Arya. Arya, of course, was to wild, to boyish to be tanned in the skin of a noble little girl of a great house. Not while she was dreaming of wildlands and great adventures. And Kyria herself was too stubborn to just accept the passive and submissive life of a proper lady. At least a lady according to her septa.
But Sansa was sweeter than that. Nicer. And she liked to be like the person she was with. That made her easy to shape.
Little Dove...
Kyria blinked. Focus, focus.
"But- but Septa-"
"I know what Septa said. But-" Kyria paused a second. Just enough to think of a way to say what she wanted to say without sounding too brusque. She needed to be smart about this. She needed to use what she knew of Sansa. She knew how her sister worked."Sansa, do you think I don't behave like a lady?"
The little girl seemed hesitant.
Kyria tried not to be hurt. That was not flattering. Like not at all. It wasn't supposed to be a difficult question!
"Not- not always. But you'll a great lady Kyria!"
And one crushed ego, one! Thank you, sister.
Not that it really matters at the end. But coming from Sansa, Kyria couldn't help but feel a little bit insulted.
"So I can be a great lady even if I don't always behave like one?"
"Y-yes" once again, Sansa looked unsure of her reasoning.
"Then why couldn't you? When you're with me, or Robb or mother and father?"
"But- I don't want to be like Arya!"
Kyria frowned. That was another matter entirely.
"That's not what I am asking you. You wondered how I could feel home even without my memories. I try to be myself. Maybe you should try the same thing. Without everything you think is asked from you. Not the little lady. Just Sansa."
"Just Sansa?" asked the girl.
She looked like she wanted to add something, but stayed silent. Kyria restrained herself to ask anything.
The discussion ended there. Sansa stayed a bit with Kyria, and Kyria opened back her book. After several minutes, Sansa quit the room, still pensive.
Kyria didn't know what to think of this conversation. There were too many things that could happen in this little head. At least, she tried to show her another path.
She hoped it was enough.
OoOoOoOoOoOooOoOo-GOT-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
She didn't talk to Jon or Robb for some days after that. She didn't even saw them for a time.
But, four days after their encounter in the Library, Jon shyly came to her, looking embarrassed and invited her to a ride with him and Robb. She said yes, more curious than anything else.
They rode for some time, in complete silence. She was in the middle, concentrate on her mare's movements, slow and familiar. The tension was heavy. Or maybe it was only her. None of them talked.
Once they were far enough to the keep, Robb opened his mouth.
"I'm sorry," he grunted, still not looking at her. "For the other day."
She didn't talk, waiting for what he had to say. She wasn't going to make it easy for them.
"I- Jon said he was helping you with something. Linked with your... memories. I shouldn't have been like that."
"Like what?" she asked.
"Like... like you didn't have the right to spend some time with Jon. But it's strange Kyria. Before you... you didn't use to spend time with Jon that much." he tried to explain.
Kyria gritted her teeth.
"Well in case you have not noticed, I've changed. Losing your memories tend to have that effect," she said coldly.
Jon coughed to her right.
"No no I know I know. It's just... I- It's still difficult to... to remember that things are different. I was used to..to the way things were before... before."
"Well, it's not before. You should be used to it now." she snapped.
"I know. I'm sorry," he said stopping his horse.
Kyria stopped too and finally look at Robb.
Mistake.
There was a severe case of puppy eyes happening here. Lethal with those blue eyes of his. And those dark curls. And this face.
And the fact that he was still her big brother. And she had a lot of difficulties ignoring that little detail.
"I- I just wanted to understand why you seemed to need to be alone all the time. What was so important for you to spend all of your time hidden in the library. I was- I was worried I guess." he confessed almost shyly.
There you go.
Kyria looked at Jon. He seemed as puppied as Robb.
What was it with those boys and their manipulation. Did they always do things like that? Kyria seriously doubted the efficiency of the technique once against grown-up men. Lords even for Robb.
Suddenly, something clicked inside her brain. Like a key in a lock. The little click that came with the opening of a door.
"WE KNOW NO KING BUT THE KING IN THE NORTH WHOSE NAME IS STARK!"
"THE KING IN THE NORTH!"
THEKINGINTHENORTHTHEKINGINTHENORTHTHEKINGINTHENORTHTHEKINGINTHENORTH
"Lord Crow."
"Lord Stark"
WhiteWolfYoungWolfWhiteWolfTHEKINGINTHENORTHTHEKINGINTHENORTHTHEKINGINTHENORTH
"He's never been defeated in battle. Never."
"They call him the Young Wolf. They say he can't be killed."
"They say he's the best swordman of Westeros. A fierce warrior."
"Lord Crow!"
"King Crow!"
Snow
Sand
Never been
My son of Ice and Fire
Promise me
"Kyria!"
"Kyria!"
Kyria blinked, momentarily blinded by the sun. The sky was grey but some ray still manages to shine through her eyes. She wasn't on her horse anymore. For one second, she thought she was back to the day of her fall. Except it was not a bunch of stranger above her, fussing around and screaming names. This time it was her brother's curled heads.
One of their hand was under her neck, and both were talking. She couldn't really understand what they were saying. It was as if her brain was still in this... vision. The words keep turning and turning inside her head. There hadn't been any image this time. Only sounds.
She keeps looking at each of their faces. Robb. Jon. Jon. Robb.
The young wolf her brain keeps saying. The white wolf.
Something inside her head was moving almost frenetically. So many thoughts were flowing in her mind at the same time. For some time, as she looked at the worried eyes of her brothers, red blinded her.
Blood. Blood through the snow. Blood through the floor.
Blood.
"And... so he spoke..." she mumbled blinking repeatedly.
"Kyria? Do you hear me?" asked Jon.
"Kyria what's happening? How do you feel?"
And so he spoke...
And now the blood splashes through those halls.
"For... every soul here to see..." she sang, as her head fall back on the cold floor.
Both boys exchanged a worried glance. Jon's pale face blanched even more.
"Kyria..."
TBC.
So? Impressions? Like? Dislike?