Disclaimer: Again, I don't own anything or anybody except Tomoko, her family, and Nagareboshi Cafe. The main piano track for this chapter is the Piano Guys' cover of Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are, mainly for the mood of this part but also for a moment of silence. Recently pianist Jon Schmidt's daughter, Annie, went missing a few weeks ago and was found dead on the hiking trail she went missing on — apparently due to a hiking accident, but still. I can't imagine how much pain the Schmidt family is going through, so this is my small dedication to them. Hopefully Annie finds peace wherever she is now.
On the other hand, the song that Tomoko specifically sings in this chapter is Nana Mizuki's Innocent Starter from Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha. The original song is absolutely amazing, but for this chapter, I would actually point you towards AngelThea's cover of the song tuned to the Orgol Mix from the Movie 1st since it seems to fit Tomoko's mindset for this specific part. However, each version works, and I encourage you to check out both! Note that the translated lyrics themselves come from Anime Lyrics dot Com, so please explore their findings too! Please enjoy!
Chapter 17: Just the Way You Are
It was about a few days after the creation of Team Minato that I found myself becoming a part-time therapist for free.
Now, that's a weird thing to say considering my original position as official pianist at Nagareboshi Cafe, but I'm being completely serious here.
Apparently even with my friendship mellowing out Kakashi, the silver-haired Chunin was still at odds with Obito. Maybe it's because this Obito still had his habit of coming 'fashionably late' due to helping out one old lady after another. Or maybe it was because Obito kept fumbling in almost everything he did, whether it was sparring or even throwing shuriken.
I honestly thought it was because Obito still felt a large rivalry with my best friend, wanting to beat him in almost every process possible. Then again, they were nine years old, and what boy wouldn't feel jealous about another guy taking all the attention?
From what I remembered of canon, Obito was the black sheep of the Uchiha Clan. The famed elites known for providing security and some of the most fucked up plot twists in the original Narutoverse. And yes, I mean "fucked up." He wanted to become Hokage to prove to everyone that he's not just the sore spot of the Uchihas, but a famed, powerful ninja in his own right.
No wonder he was Naruto's predecessor in terms of teams "trying to replicate the Sannin." Kakashi stood out in almost everything he did, no matter how much effort he put in, and for Obito who had to try as hard as he could just to get to the tip of that iceberg, seeing it was obviously infuriating. Kakashi's nonchalant demeanor didn't seem to help anything since to the Uchiha, it probably looked like my best friend was mocking him.
Then again, being Kakashi's best friend, I could only guess that the Hatake really couldn't care less instead of just mocking the Uchiha outright. He didn't see Obito as a huge pain in the ass in comparison to his canon counterpart, which was an obvious improvement in my opinion, but he still found some of his actions annoying apparently.
The small, almost permanent scowl Kakashi had on his masked face when coming home from his first D-rank with Team Minato seemed to be proof of that.
The front door swung open with an audible creak. "…I'm home."
The familiar voice made me jump up and run over with a smile. "Welcome back, Kakashi-kun! How was it?"
And yet for some reason, my best friend didn't look happy, closing the door behind him with tiredness lacing his every movement. "…"
I could literally hear the "dot-dot-dot" without him even needing to open his mouth.
"…Kakashi-kun?"
Kakashi just sighed deeply. "…Just don't ask, Tomoko. It hasn't been the best of days."
Team Minato shenanigans then. I found myself smiling sheepishly. "Do you want a song or a hug?"
He only crossed his arms over his chest, looking away. "…A hug sounds nice."
I'm happy that Kakashi has been more receptive to my hugs lately, but now I'm just worried if he's just using me as a lifeline when he can't handle this kind of stuff.
I know Obito and Rin aren't inherently bad people — oh no! — it's just that I think the skill gap's really been getting to Kakashi lately. Before Team Minato was formed, I recall the silver-haired Chunin being able to handle mostly C-rank Missions quite easily, but now? Kakashi had to help two new Genin from his former Academy class - one who idolized him and the other who, quite honestly, hated his guts - with D-Rank chores, essentially, so it probably felt like a lot to him.
Then, there's Obito himself. Oh boy.
When thinking on it, his thought process probably would be like: "How can I become Hokage if I can't surpass this jerk?!" Or something like that.
…Basically prepubescent boy rivalry at its finest. Add in ninja skills, possibly lethal ninja tools, and society's views on how you have to get stronger just to get respect, and mix together.
The final product is basically a love-hate relationship and/or rivalry blown way out of proportion.
…And why, oh why, did you have to add a love triangle?
The way Rin was handled in the original canon was already messy as is, considering that she was Sakura's predecessor. Luckily, her crush on Kakashi wasn't as bad as, say, Sakura's was on Sasuke, but even then, her affections just added more onto Obito's reasoning as to why he was so jealous of the Hatake in the first place.
Rin herself was just fine, though — thankfully. Even back in canon, Team Minato mainly worked — or perhaps, only worked — because she was the emotional center that held the two boys together. Had Madara simply decided not to set his sights on the resident Uchiha and target her for the Three Tails, I had a feeling canon would've turned out so much better.
But now? I wasn't sure anymore. I knew that my presence alone already changed things, considering that Sakumo-san was still alive and Kakashi hadn't gone all "rules are the golden standard" phase. However, a part of me still felt uncertain. Before the formation of Team Minato, I was sure that I had a small friendship of sorts with Rin and Obito, but now? It felt a bit strained if not distant.
…I honestly blame society for that. Ninja were raised to be observant, and I had a feeling that after deciding to keep the true origins of my relationship with Kakashi a secret, they were trying to scope me out for answers - causing the small rift.
Sure, it's a small issue, but what about situations such as Kannabi?
The last thing I wanted to see was the happenings that led up to canon, especially if I had the power to do something about it.
I was able to save Sakumo-san and Kakashi a lot of pain already - I didn't want to see them or any other person go through more.
But how was I supposed to help the predecessors of Team 7 when they all had their own issues as a result of society and quite possibly, the shortcomings of my being a civilian?
Sometimes, I wanted to vent. Vent through yelling and shaking my fists at the sky.
…Great job, Konoha. No, scratch that. Great job ninja world, in handling these kinds of conflicts considering that you let Sasuke defect and Obito literally turn into Tobi in another timeline. You deserve a medal for being the "most crapsack, emotionally deprived world" period. Aside from places with the zombie apocalypse, mind you. Why did you have to wait on Naruto of all people to just realize that things weren't working?
Hell, why do you have to make so many people suffer before the whole damn thing needs improvements?! It took like — hell — four-five generations of ninja and spilled blood for Naruto to come around? I don't even know anymore because by this point I'll be ranting angrily to you, unproductively too, and not focusing on my job for the time being.
…Back to the point. It was these thoughts in mind that even after the whole concert I gave to Team Minato for their first day as a new team, I couldn't sleep well that night.
If anything, the thoughts just kept going through my head to where sleep didn't really come until hours after the others in the house fell asleep — Kakashi and Sakumo included. Most of the time, I was closing my eyes in an attempt for the familiar quiet lull to come — but it barely even touched me that night. In the end, I was left looking up at the bare ceiling, trying to sort out my thoughts.
Before in my previous life, sorting my head would be an easy matter since all I had to worry about was really school work and trying to pass the next midterm. Not having to deal with precognition and knowing what might happen to your friends in the future and what you can do to prevent all that.
Minato-san, Kushina-san, Obito-kun, Rin-chan, and Kakashi-kun deserved so much better than what canon dealt out to them.
I didn't even realize tears were running down my cheeks and hitting my futon pillow until the first sniffles started escaping my lips. The heavy weight on my heart just didn't help, since it reminded me how much was on my mind and how it just wouldn't go away.
Could I really help?
I just don't want to fail everyone again…
Memories of that old universe went through my head.
"Obito!"
Kakashi at that rock, trying desperately to push it off.
"…No…why?"
Rin-chan, crying. I could only hope that she wouldn't look like that. I already knew I didn't want to see her like how she was in Kannabi.
"…I see now. I'm in hell."
No, Obito-kun, don't say that. Especially while carrying Rin-chan's dead body. You can't betray the village like Sasuke. Please…
"Naruto…This is your dad. Listen…To your nagging mother."
Minato-san! Don't give up and die! You need to raise your son right!
I wasn't expecting the last image going through my head.
"Be Vy! Please hang on! Don't go!"
Mommy…
By the time I had registered the tears rolling down my face, small beams of sunlight were already starting to shine through the window. A part of me didn't want to, but I knew I had to get up.
Luckily, it was still early, and from what I could hear, Dad and Sakumo-san were still lightly snoring. There wasn't any noise from Mom or Kakashi's sides, but I wouldn't take any chances. Dawn was coming, and honestly, I needed some fresh air. Forcing myself to take a deep breath, I wiped at the tears fiercely, pushing back the blanket to put on some slippers and gently walk out of my room, white nightgown and all — even ignoring the hair ribbon I left at my bedside.
Like my room, for once, the house was quiet. All I could hear was some snoring from the men's sides and the soft chirping of birds. Despite the relative peace, I did my best to walk silently, carefully slipping past Kakashi and Sakumo-san's shared room to head downstairs. Nagareboshi itself shared a similar atmosphere of quiet, and even though the piano appeared as welcoming as ever, I didn't really think about going to it.
There was too much in mind for me to properly focus on choosing a song to play on those beautiful keys.
Instead, I just walked outside the cafe doors to just stand under the patio, taking a breath. Even though it was spring, the air smelled as though it had just rained, dew covering nearby leaves and soaking the topsoil of the pavement. The shopping center was completely silent of other people, most of the street signs dark without any electricity.
Even though I should've felt lonely at the lack of people, instead, my heart just seemed much lighter.
For once, it felt peaceful in the streets of Konoha.
Like there wasn't going to be threats of Kurama rampaging over it in 4-5 years of time or facing an entire massacre of a clan.
Before I even knew it, the song was already leaving my lips, my voice surprisingly steady through each note.
"Hugging my knees in the corner,
I was always shaking from my unease.
Knowing the 'truth' is frightening, so I closed the door."
Me, hiding who I really was and my foreknowledge from everyone I loved just because I was scared.
"I sought a place to belong in a gentle lie, and took refuge in my dreams.
This sea of loneliness that nobody else knew was dyed a deep blue.
With my earnest desire to hide my loneliness,
I wounded your heart."
How would everyone feel when figuring out my secrets? Mom, Dad, Sakumo-san, Minato-san, Kushina-san, Obito-kun, Rin-chan…
What about Kakashi?
"In the secret inside my eyes, in the reality behind my smile that draws you in,
There is a tender love that I'm going to send to you.
If you touch it, that fragile warmth will pour out into the present from the past.
I'll always be by your side, so don't feel lost in the sad shadows."
At least, I wanted to hope that I could be by everyone's side when the time came. When they needed me most.
"Like a child, just chasing my dreams,
I couldn't find anything.
All I did was lose sight of what's important to me."
But by focusing on everyone else, was I really making myself happy? This world in particular isn't fond of giving permanent happiness - and dedication often led to death from the shinobi side. Was my dedication well-founded?
"The happiness that definitely exists in the 'obvious' and the 'normal,'
With power can be protected, I wanted to obtain that, so I head straight and live on.
I won't get lost. My gaze is only on that 'one' answer.
In the red dawn sky, there is painted a rainbow that wraps around all the darkness.
This small courage surpasses words.
Even if the future is taken captive, even if it vanishes in the distance, this prayer will never cease.
I want to send my sincere feelings to you."
This song said everything I wanted to say. More than anything. I wanted the people I loved in my old life to know I was okay. I wanted to let the people I loved now know what exactly was going on in my head and confide in them about all my worries.
I didn't want to hold it all in my thoughts to suffer by myself.
Crying alone was already painful enough.
"I whisper to you, the person who gave me my 'beginning,'
Keep the promise that we made just between ourselves.
The magic of eternity that never changes.
Even if the future is taken captive, even if it vanishes in the distance,
I will remember your clear voice.
Call my name.
And smile like you did that day."
The Naruto-verse — no, Konoha, gave me my new "beginning." In a way. I don't even know why I was brought here in the first place after dying — considering I had barely any fighting ability, as Tomoko or as Vy. But I was here anyway, as Hoshino Tomoko. It wouldn't be good to doubt myself anymore.
I gave myself a purpose by becoming Nagareboshi's pianist and reaching out to so many people.
I made the choice to befriend Kakashi and the others.
So in the end, it was all my decision to see how this world would unravel its machinations. Leaving now wouldn't be a good choice after convincing Sakumo-san to keep living, now, would it?
Before I could add more to my thought process, the soft touch of a hand landed on my shoulder while the familiar scent of pines filled my nose. "…Tomoko?"
I didn't even have to turn to know who it was, luckily, considering all my limbs ended up freezing at the sudden touch. "…Kakashi-kun?" Despite the early morning, my best friend sounded completely awake, having more than enough strength to lightly turn me around to look at me, silver eyes shining with concern.
Why was he looking at me like that?
"What's wrong, Tomoko? You're not usually up this early."
It's honestly hard to talk about. How can I tell you that I'm a reincarnation gone wrong and that I knew you before from a story that I never fully believed in? I'm not the Tomoko you know so well, and yet you come out here.
I couldn't help but look over my best friend in an attempt to form some words. Even though he just was wearing a black tank top and casual pants (accompanied by his usual black mask), Kakashi looked like he could be ready for any situation, muscles tense enough to react at any moment. I knew I should've been comforted at the sight of my best friend, but my self-consciousness just didn't feel right about it.
In the end, I looked away, guilt gnawing at my thoughts. It didn't feel right keeping my friend waiting for a response, but the replies I had in my head just weren't working. "…I'm not really sure what to tell you, Kakashi-kun," I admitted slowly. Ugh, even when saying it, my voice felt like sandpaper coming out of my throat. "I just had some trouble sleeping last night."
The Chunin blinked before softly sighing, both hands now landing on my shoulders. "Do you want to talk about it?"
The offer was tempting. It really was, especially when coming from my best friend. The Kakashi from canon would probably never ask me that question, and to be honest, I felt both honored and saddened.
Would you still accept me even when knowing what I really am? A fraud that might've taken someone else's place?
"…I'm not really sure on it yet, Kakashi-kun," The reply just sounded painful despite my being honest about it, and by that point, I could feel the tears starting to build up in my eyes again. "I don't even understand it myself, so I can't really talk about it just yet." The temptation to cry was really on the horizon, but I didn't want to do that.
Not when Kakashi was still looking at me with that same worried glance in his silver eyes.
Your life has just started getting better, so you shouldn't have to look so upset like that, Kakashi. Not over someone like me.
"…Is there anything I can do then?" He murmured softly.
I gulped, attempting to keep the lump in my throat at bay. Even though I knew he was trying to help, his responses sounded so similar to another boy I once knew.
And with that, his voice echoed.
"Hey dear, what's the matter? Don't hide it from your boyfriend, okay?"
Leo…
In the end, the reply came out rather small and high-pitched. It probably was a selfish request, but I couldn't stop myself. "…Kakashi-kun, could you hug me?"
To my surprise, my best friend didn't hesitate, quietly wrapping his arms around my torso to squish me to his figure, letting my head rest against his shoulder. The scent of sweat, pines, and just the presence of Kakashi filled my nose, and for once, my heart didn't feel as heavy as it was throughout the past 12 hours. A shaky breath left my lips as I buried my face into his tank top, keeping sniffles at bay while clutching him desperately.
…It looks like this is affecting me more than I thought.
In the end, I could only think of one thing to say. "…Thank you, Kakashi-kun. I-I owe you one later, okay?"
The Chunin simply scoffed before lightly ushering the both of us back into the building, hands running through my tangled hair. Huh? "You don't owe me anything, Tomoko." To my surprise, he pulled away to simply rest his forehead against mine, forcing me to look into familiar silver eyes. Resolute eyes. "You told me that you chose to care for me. You chose to worry for me, to become my friend, Tomoko. So get it in your head that it's the same for me, okay?"
Huh?
Kakashi breathed softly, air gently fanning my face while he closed his eyes for a moment, voice still quiet. "It was my choice to come out here, Tomoko. It was my choice to walk out here so early in the morning to find you when you weren't in your room. It was my choice that I became your friend, okay? So, get it through your dense mind that I'm here by my own choice, alright?" He opened his eyes and I couldn't help but notice how much emotion and sincerity was in his silver orbs. "So if you need help, you can come to me. Don't hide it all by yourself — if you need me, I'll be there, alright?"
The tears were already blurring my vision by the time those words registered in my heart.
…Looks like I'm blessed to have good friends too, no matter what life I'm living.
I could only shakily smile and pull the Chunin into another hug, only one thing left to say. "Thank you Kakashi-kun. I-I love you a lot, you know?"
From the close distance, I could feel the soft smile on Kakashi's masked face as he simply wrapped his arms around my waist again, squishing me to him. "I know, Tomoko." A soft sigh tickled the tips of my ears, familiar warmth spreading through me as a result of the hug.
"I love you too."
"Kakashi, I hereby challenge you to another match!"
"…Why?"
"To bet on our springtimes of youth, of course! It's been awhile since our last match, so we need to settle the score!"
A bored frown was on my face as I looked over the scene.
"…This is normal, right, Tomoko-chan?" I just looked over at the sheepish medic standing next to me and simply sighed.
"At this point, it is." I found myself saying dryly. "You'll get used to it, Rin-chan."
"…I'm just surprised you're so nonchalant about this, Tomoko-chan. How did you get used to this kind of stuff?" Rin simply motioned to the Green Beast of Konoha and my best friend with shaky hands, and I just sighed again, shoulders slouching in my kimono dress.
"When they drag you into being the host of their various competitions, then it's easy to get used to this kind of stuff, dear." I just closed my eyes to shake my head, scratching my cheek with a finger. "First it was a race to the Hokage Monument, then it was a fast-food eating competition, then it was rock-paper-scissors, then it was push-ups, and then—"
"—I get the idea, Tomoko-chan," Rin deadpanned, cutting me off while quickly adapting my tired look to accommodate the purple tattoos on her cheeks. "You don't have to give all the details."
"…Well, at least it can't get any worse!" Yep. At this point, I was completely okay with invoking Murphy's Law.
"Don't tempt them, Tomoko-chan."
…Famous last words, Rin-chan.
"Hey guys! I'm sorry for being late — HEY! WHO'S THIS BEAST-FACE?!"
I facepalmed just as Rin took on a grimace.
…Why did you choose this time to show up, Obito?!
"Oh hello, fellow Konoha shinobi! I am Might Guy, the Green Beast of the Leaf, and I'm currently challenging Kakashi to a match to show off our Youth! Is it alright if we could talk another time?"
"Like hell, you beast! I challenged Kakashi first!"
"I believe we're at an misunderstanding. What is your name, fellow friend?"
"I'm Uchiha Obito, the man that's going to become Hokage! Now please get out of the way and let me take on Bakashi first!"
"I'm sorry, Obito-kun, your youth is wonderful, but I'm Kakashi's Eternal Rival! I believe I have the right to challenge him first!"
"Well, I'm his teammate, Beast-Face, so I have the right to do so first!"
"No, me first!"
"No, me first!"
Kakashi sighed, facepalming. "…How did I end up with classmates like these?"
…Boys. I just glanced at Rin-chan and didn't even react when Minato-san poofed into existence behind us, smiling sheepishly. This day was already turning out weird. "Did I miss anything, girls?"
"Nope," we both answered in unison, looking at the scene again. At this point, Obito and Guy looked to be on the verges of a fist fight, and at this point, I was just getting pissed off.
"…Minato-san," I started slowly.
The Yellow Flash turned to look at me, blue eyes blinking in confusion. "Yes, Tomoko-chan?"
I sighed. "Could I leave it to you for separating Obito-kun and Guy-kun? Right now, I'm feeling very irritated, and honestly. I'm just going to borrow Rin-chan and Kakashi-kun to let them relax at Nagareboshi." And I completely meant to "borrow" them if it meant letting them stop looking so tired all the time. Or just giving them some peacetime. "I'll be playing the piano as always, so if you could bring the two there later, it's appreciated."
By the time I finished, I didn't even look back at the Jounin's fishlike expression, simply grabbing Rin's hand in my left and walking over to grab Kakashi's hand in my right to go in the direction of Nagareboshi. Essentially bringing both of them along with me on the trek back home.
While ignoring the two boys still arguing it out on who would face Kakashi first.
…Note to you all, being a mediator is hard. Luckily, starting with piano music, especially a piece from the Piano Guys, is a good start to resolving tension.
Might as well do what I can if it means the future will be somewhat better than how canon is.
…Hopefully I'm doing enough.
Author's Notes: Well, midterms are almost over, so I had a bit of time to write this. Again, thanks to all who reviewed Chapter 16, with special mention going to Goldspark1, Madam3Mayh3m, DarkDust27, Pause143, onewhoreadstoomuch, Shibashi, lizyeh2000, and MissLaufeyson97 for their reviews! Honestly, there has been a lot going on with midterm studying on my end, so hearing your guys' reviews specifically really brightened my days.
Thanks again to all of you who have been following me so far! As of this chapter's publishing, we have 155 reviews, 377 followers, and 280 favorites for Civilian Pianist, so this specific part of the story is for you guys!
P.S. And yes, for those KakaTomo shippers, somehow my mind brought up the specific scene in this chapter with you guys in mind. Note that Tomoko sees this as a big, important friendship relationship in her life right now and not really something like true love yet, but this might change in the future. And you guys can interpret Kakashi's last words in any way you want in that section. :)
Love you all and this is Writer-and-Artist27 signing off to handle one last midterm! Thanks again!