Disclaimer: Again, I don't own anything or anybody except Tomoko, her family, and Nagareboshi Cafe. Any concepts/ideas mentioned in this fanfiction that seem to be borrowed from another media/piece of continuity — note that I don't mean to plagiarize anything or anybody in any way! This fanfic was made for entertainment purposes, not for pissing off others! So yeah!

The theme for this chapter is Hypochondriac Piano's cover of Aqua's Theme from Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep. Tomoko doesn't actually play the song, but it fits the mood quite nicely in my opinion. On the other hand, the outfit that Tomoko wears in this chapter is again from Darling Army, titled "Elegant Pony Cosplay Lolita Skirt." Just lengthen it to go past the knees, add in the white blouse pictured in the images on the webpage and blue sandals (the Naruto norm for shoes), and you're good!

Please enjoy!

Chapter 19: Finding a Way Home

"…Vy, what did you do?"

"I-I don't know, Daddy! I-I just-"

I could hear myself sob. What?

"I didn't know! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

It was all my fault.

"AHHHHH!"

I found myself jumping from my futon, breathing shaky. I didn't even feel the tears streaming down my cheeks until the snot started to gather in my nose, and by then, I could tell it wasn't going to be the best of days. The fact that…that memory showed up in my dreams already was bad enough.

Why is it that after a traumatic day yesterday, my mind decides to make me see my worst failure as Vy?

Surprisingly, it was still early morning. Even through the quickly drying tears, I could see the soft beams of the rising sun come through my window, and I knew that I needed to head outside. Luckily, it was a Saturday, so Nagareboshi was closed for the weekend, but I knew I didn't want to head down and play the piano.

Not after yesterday with that drunk man. Even though Dad was truthful in his report on turning the guy in to the Uchiha Police Forces, I still didn't feel safe.

Who knows if something like that is going to happen again?

Even as a civilian, is it possible that I might get targeted again?

In this world, I could die just as easily as before, huh?

My thoughts scared me. Even if they were just possibilities, the fact that it could happen terrified me. Dying once was already painful before, but here? In a world where death by inhumane methods is common?

I could still remember the image of Jiraiya, stabbed by multiple chakra rod receivers and being left to drown in the ocean.

"There, that ending… was a little better. The frog at the bottom of the well drifts off into the great ocean. Heh heh… yep… pretty damn honourable… pretty damn honourable… I guess it's time to put down my pen. Right… I need a title for the next book… let's see… Ah, got it… The Tale of Naruto Uzumaki… perfect."

Jiraiya! You can't go! Don't go! You have to keep teaching Naruto, goddammit!

Then there was Obito's first death by falling rocks and having half his body crushed.

"Kakashi… protect Rin…"

No, Obito!

Don't get me started on the other member of Team Minato. I still couldn't get the memory of Rin, being impaled by Chidori through the heart out of my head.

"Kaka...shi…"

Rin, why?!

Then there was Minato and Kushina, impaled by Kurama's large claw through the stomach and left bleeding out on the grass.

"Naruto…you're going to experience a lot of pain and suffering. Remember who you are! Find a goal…a dream…and don't stop trying until it comes true. There's…there's so much more that I want to say…to teach you…I want to stay with you…I love you."

Kushina-nee...

An older Kakashi, left to die in the rubble of the Leaf Village from chakra exhaustion, no one else able to reach him.

"I guess…this is it for me. Obito…Rin…I'll see you guys soon."

Kakashi…

No…

No…

NO!

The fear just kept rolling through my mind, even when I tried to sleep, filling my heart and cracking it significantly to the point where I knew I had to get out. Not just out of the house, but out of Nagareboshi.

I needed some time to myself if I really wanted to get myself together.

Without even thinking, I furiously pushed back my futon blanket, getting up to grab my hairbrush and handle the mess that was my hair. Even if it wasn't a work day, I knew I wanted to head out — and in an outfit that didn't scream, "Nagareboshi's Cover Pianist." While teasing out any light tangles in my hair, I quickly looked through my wardrobe. Surprisingly, my eyes landed a light violet skirt I had never seen before, looking almost shimmery and glossy from my point of view. Adding in the three small blue diamonds adorning the right side of the skirt, I knew it was something I wanted to put on, quickly grabbing it off its hanger with a matching short-sleeved white blouse.

It only took a few minutes to get fully dressed, slipping the skirt over my waist before grabbing the usual white hair ribbon to adorn the right side of my face. Afterwards, it was really sneaking out of my room to head into the living room, and even then, it was still quiet. All I could hear was the soft chirping of birds from outside the kitchen window and Dad's snores.

Yep, it was more than enough to tell me that I could head out on my own. Before slipping on some blue sandals, though, I made sure to grab a pencil and a stray piece of paper to write a note to leave on the living room table.

It wouldn't weigh well on my mind knowing I went out to clear my head and inadvertently worried my family and the Hatakes.

Mom, Dad, Sakumo-san, Kakashi-kun,

Sorry if you don't see me in my room. I just needed some fresh air, so I went out for a walk around Konoha. I'll be back around 9.

Love,

Tomoko

After dropping the note off at its intended destination, I found myself quickly walking out the door to head down the stairs and reach Nagareboshi. Even though it was early morning, the interior of the cafe was dark with the exception of a few sunbeams shining through, one in particular landing on…

My eyes immediately averted what I knew was on the stage. After what happened the day before, I didn't have the courage to look at it.

That piano had seen a lot already, and I didn't have enough will to face it. The thin layer of dust on the black cover just reminded me how much went wrong yesterday.

"See, you fuckers?! This wench could easily die with just a hand! Do you really want to relax knowing someone like me could take her away?! Start working harder, you bitches, or I'll kill her right now!"

A jolt of pain went through my neck at the thought. I forced myself to keep walking and open the front doors to step out onto the patio. Much like the interior of Nagareboshi itself, the streets of Konoha were silent, the only noises really being the soft spring winds and the chirping of birds. The day before yesterday, such silence would be comforting and immediately take the weight off my chest, but today was different.

If anything, the weight on my heart just seemed to grow larger at all the quiet.

The realization was quick.

It's as though nothing has changed.

But I knew better. The earlier jolt in my neck was proof of that.

And Kakashi's soaked shirt, which he immediately threw in the wash last night. I never did fully get to apologize, since he seemed to stop me every time I tried.

…But even with that somewhat happy thought, my heart didn't seem to get any lighter. Apparently my emotions decided to go in the really "depressed" route now… ugh.

Because of that, I decided to walk. I didn't really think of a certain direction — if anything, I chose a path and walked, taking in the surroundings and the cool, spring air.

Initially, it was all familiar buildings, with shop signs dimmed throughout the shopping center. Then, I couldn't help but notice how things were slowly changing as time went by. Instead of shops, I saw houses, apartments, and various other buildings I never really took the time to look at.

...Then again, I only really frequented Konoha's library, the occasional training ground with Team Minato, or Nagareboshi.

I really needed to get out more often if it meant really looking at my new home for what it was.

Each building was unique, with their own color scheme and house design reflecting the brightness that was Konoha. Some had stairs and verandas, while others looked like they came out of a math textbook (to me anyway) with various domes and cones to serve as differently colored roofs.

If I didn't know any better, Konoha would've looked like any normal urban city in America.

With the Hokage Monument acting as the ninja Mount Rushmore!

...I think. Please don't question me on this, past me didn't really travel outside the United States except one time, and she was three then.

Still. No matter where I walked, the three faces of Hashirama, Tobirama, and Sarutobi all looked down on the village with expressions of calm.

It was these faces that showed that Konoha should've been in good hands.

But the part of me that was Vy already knew better. With her memories, I already knew that Konoha had a lot of hurt coming in the future if nothing was to be done. I had to mentally push out the images of the destruction in my head to concentrate on just walking.

Kurama, rampaging the village and leaving it Hokage-less until the Third steps back in.

Orochimaru, taking the entire Sand village to attempt the Konoha Crush and kill the Third.

Sasuke defecting and leaving way too many emotional wounds.

Pain invading Konoha with his Six Paths and completely flattening the village in seconds.

Kakashi, dying in the rubble—

The image of my future best friend shot through my mind's eye, and I had to stop my walking pace to shake my head vigorously.

NO — not here.

Closing my eyes, I forced myself to breathe deeply.

Walking outside is supposed to help deal with these thoughts, not add more!

This pace of thought and breathing took about a few minutes, and by the time I opened my eyes, I was greeted with quite the alarming sight.

Much to my growing dread, none of the buildings surrounding me were recognizable. If anything, the only thing in common with the shopping district that I called home was the towering Hokage Monument. Aside from that, it felt like I wandered into something akin to a forbidden/red-light district, with the few people walking around giving me rather suspicious stares. If anything, the surrounding buildings only ADDED to my worries since with the sun's angle, they cast really large shadows enough to make the street look like an alley.

I forced myself to stay calm for a moment.

Hey, try retracing your steps! My common sense screamed, and in response, I looked behind me.

…Oh great. Even my footsteps apparently faded away into the gravel already. And the pathway behind me just looked far too shadowy for my liking.

…Where am I supposed to go now? I'm officially lost…

Looking up in the sky just added more to my worries, since the sun's position said more than enough. It was way past the time I said I would be home anyway.

I felt a strong urge to cry — something that had been coming down easily for the past few days.

What am I supposed to do?

My breathing was already becoming shaky and the stares from the passerby were already starting to become painful.

Everybody's probably worried by now…

My arms quickly wound around to hug myself, heart beating faster and faster with each second.

What can I do? Where's Mommy and Daddy when you need them? Heck, I'll take a ninja if I can get home!

The tears were already starting to come out when I heard him.

A large hand landed on my shoulder, patting it rather joyfully. "Hey, ojou-chan, what are you doing here?"

I couldn't help it. I kinda shrieked, high-pitched voice echoing everywhere before jumping forward to hug myself in an attempt to make my body appear smaller. Apparently the new guest in my personal bubble recognized my shock and immediately pulled back, sounding sheepish. "S-Sorry, ojou-chan! I didn't mean to scare you!"

What came out of my mouth in response sounded something like, "Uuu," or some other whimper.

I'm tired of all the surprises already! I shouldn't have left home after all!

I put my hands over my head, cowering a bit.

Surprisingly, the same voice spoke up again, this time a bit farther and gentler in tone. "Hey, ojou-chan, i-it's okay. I don't mean any harm to you."

...Do you really mean that? The thought went through my head, and out of pure curiosity, I turned around to open my eyes.

What greeted me was a man about a head taller than Dad's height. If anything, I think I might've made up to the middle of his waist in height comparison. He didn't look like a Konoha ninja — in fact, he could've passed off for a Western cowboy if not for the time period we were living in with his tanned skin. An orange scarf was tied around his neck with a small image of what appeared to be a crocodile stitched into the fabric. The man also had spiky black hair sticking out on both sides of his head, the top flat as though there to house a cowboy fedora. A black eyepatch covered his right eye; the other was a dark blue color, shining with kindness while looking down at me. Completing the look was a beige button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, complimented by a loosely hanging brown vest and black cargo pants, patches showing up every now and then on the fabric. The brown boots going all the up to the middle of his calf just screamed more of that "cowboy" vibe while adding that final touch to his appearance.

Though the man noticed he had my attention pretty quickly, since he smiled brightly, showing off warm whites that reminded me of Dad. "There you go, ojou-chan!" Continuing to smile, he walked over to kneel down to my height, looking at me eye-to-eye. Even with the small amount of tears blurring my vision, I could tell through his gaze alone that he was being genuine. "Sorry about scaring you there — you just looked sad looking around all by yourself."

"Y-Yeah…"

I wanna trust you, my gut added. Outwardly, I said, "I couldn't really sleep well last night and wanted to walk around Konoha, only to get lost…" Gosh, even when talking about it made me feel more embarrassed. Walking around alone like that early in the morning would equal kidnapping in ninja terms!

Don't remind me. I know Kakashi and my parents wouldn't be happy with this — especially since I was talking to a stranger!

Despite my inner doubts, the man blinked in surprise before smiling softly, offering his hand to me. I couldn't help but notice how many grazes and callouses were on his palm. "I see. How about I help you find your way home, ojou-chan? I'm Jim Crocodile Cook."

Jim…? Where have I heard that name before?

For some reason, relief flooded my systems and I found myself carefully reaching over to put my smaller hand in his, shaking it. "I-I'm Hoshino Tomoko, Jim-san. P-Please do then."

"Tomoko-chan then, right? Nice to meet you." To my surprise, Jim-san didn't let go of my hand after the handshake, instead opting to stand up and walk in another direction, causing me to run along to match his long strides. "By chance, where is your house?"

"U-Um… in the main shopping district. I live in Nagareboshi Cafe." The man stopped for a moment, almost making me crash into him. His grip loosened on my hand a bit as he turned a surprised cerulean eye on me.

"By chance, ojou-chan, do you know the owners, Hikari and Judai, then?"

I blinked up at him, trying not to be really confused. "Y-yeah, they're my mom and dad! Do you know them, Jim-san?"

The adult tilted his head at me before grinning again and tightening the grip on my hand, looking up towards the sky.

"I see…so you're Judai's little girl…" I didn't miss the nostalgia passing through his face before he looked down at me again, audibly humming while starting up his walking pace again. "And yeah, I do, Tomoko-chan! Your dad's an old teammate of mine."

Now I felt more confused. "…Old teammate?" I repeated.

Does that mean Jim-san knew Dad back when he was still a ninja?

Unfortunately, I didn't really get more time to think on it because soon enough, the familiar buildings of the shopping district came into view. In the distance, I could see the figures of Mom and another red-haired beauty before my ears caught the increasingly loud noise coming towards us.

"TOMOKO-CHAN?!"

Of course, the incoming tackle hug was somewhat expected, but coming from both Mom and Kushina-nee?

It was a double serving of love and pain.

Even while being smothered, I could vaguely make out Jim-san's surprised laughter and various comments.

"Where were you, you silly girl?!" Mom scolded, right cheek rubbing mine. Aaaaaah. "You had us worried when you didn't come home by the time you told us!"

"We even called up Team Minato and Jiraiya-sama to find you, Tomoko-chan!" Kushina-nee added hotly, red hair flaring like flames in the air while hugging me. "You really gave us a heart attack, dattebane!"

…Well, judging at how Jiraiya-san and Minato-san themselves were standing in the background exasperatedly shaking their heads in unison, I could believe it.

Not to mention how Obito and Rin were giggling with one another in a corner. Sakumo-san was the only odd one out of the picture, smiling gently at everything from Nagareboshi's patio.

Jim-san was still laughing. "L-Ladies, I believe Tomoko-chan can't breathe there with you two smothering her so much~"

Aaaaaaah~!

I was seeing shooting stars again!

In response, Kushina-nee let go almost immediately to leave me in Mom's arms (which were luckily relaxed by that point), instead opting for pinching my cheeks. Hard.

"Eep!" I found myself squeaking, cheeks already starting to feel sore. Who knew Kushina-san could pull so hard? "I-I'm sorry, Kushina-nee! I'm sorry, Mommy!"

"You better be, Tomoko-chan." Mom lightly swatted the redhead's hands away to gently put me back down onto the ground, bumping her forehead with mine. Blue eyes shined with unshed tears and determination while looking down at me. "Don't wander off by yourself like that too much, okay?"

I don't want to lose you. Was what my mind filled in.

Pure embarrassment and happiness filled me as a sheepish smile came over my face. Looks like my quest to handle my own emotions ended up worrying her and everybody else no matter what I did. Go me.

I ended up reaching over to pull Mom into the hug she deserved, whispering into her ear. "I know Mommy, and I'm sorry. I'll try not to do that again."

"Not try, dear," She interjected, hand reaching over to stroke my hair. "Just do, okay?"

"…No promises, Mommy," I found myself deadpanning. "Bad things just happen sometimes and I'll occasionally have to walk out for a bit."

"…Tomoko-chan," Mom gave me a half-lidded stare and I couldn't help but sweat.

...I think I said the wrong thing. And I can't…really run here…

I closed my eyes, expecting the worst. To my surprise, a long sigh left her lips before she pulled me into another hug. "When did you start sounding like your dad, dear? I miss the little girl who would follow me around a few years back."

I blinked before hugging back. "Um…when I started to serve ninja?"

Another sigh. "Tomoko-chan, that was a rhetorical question."

"Oh…" Oops, spoke too soon again. "I-I'm sorry, Mommy."

By then, Mom was giving me an exasperated shake of her head before letting go and pushing me in another direction. "Quit apologizing so much, sweetie — you still need to talk to some other folks that have been waiting for you."

I could only intelligently say, "Huh?" before getting tackled — again.

This time, by a former ninja dad.

"Tomoko-chan!" Dad screeched rather happily, rubbing his stubble against my cheek. I held back the huge urge to cringe at the scratchy feeling, simply reaching over to wrap my arms around his torso. Dad's stubble may have felt as uncomfortable as ever, but I didn't mind for once.

After the huge shock that was last night, he had every right to snuggle me.

"Hi, Daddy," I found myself murmuring, reaching up to pat his back. "I'm sorry for coming home so late and worrying you."

With all the shit that had been going down lately, that was the least I could say.

Dad immediately pulled away to put his large hands on my shoulders, glaring at me. Judging by the glints of red and green in his eyes, I knew I was in trouble. "You better be, you little—"

I closed my eyes tightly, expecting a slap or something similar for my mistake. Instead, what greeted me was a noogie.

"AAAAH!" I found myself screeching, doing my best to pull away from the mess Dad was making of my hair. "D-Daddy!" Despite the uncomfortable feeling, I found myself laughing.

"You find that funny, huh, Tomoko-chan?!" If I didn't know any better, I swore Dad had this huge, mischievous grin on his face. "How about this?!"

And then he started tickling me. By the end of it, I was rolling around in Dad's arms, literally laughing my butt off while attempting to avoid those wiggly fingers, even hitting the pavement. "D-Daddy~! H-Hey~ that — hee — t-tickles! S-S-Stop~!"

"Can't~!" Dad hummed happily, still wiggling his fingers at my sides. "Little girls like you need punishment~!"

"NO~!" I found myself screaming dramatically.

…When was the last time I had laughed like this?

It felt like home again.

"How are you feeling, Vy? Better?"

If only you knew, Josh.

For once, it felt like everything was going to be okay again.

Soon enough, Dad let go to only pull me into the crook of his arms to lift into the air. From the close distance, I could clearly see the clear adoration in his brown orbs, and honestly, I couldn't be more happy about it. "Just don't go out like that again, okay, Tomoko-chan? We were all worried about you."

"…I know, Daddy, and I'm sorry." I just reached over to wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face into the crook of his shoulder. Even as a 9 year old, I still felt like a baby in Dad's arms, and it felt nice being pampered a bit.

But I knew better. There were still a few other people I needed to talk to.

"So… who's the prince charming that brought you home, dear?" At Dad's sudden question, I blinked and pulled away from the hug to point in Jim-san's direction.

"Jim-san over there!" I chirped, trying my best to sound polite despite the childish tone. "He found me when I got lost and said he knew you, Daddy!"

It was at this point that Jim-san stepped up, smiling in all his "cowboyish" glory. "Well, she's not wrong about that, right, Judai?"

Dad blinked before gently bringing me back down to ground level, never once letting go of my hand. The two men looked at one another, and it was that moment that I think I saw something different pass through Dad's eyes.

Was it sadness? Or nostalgia?

What really happened in your ninja life, Daddy?

A moment of silence passed before Dad broke it with a calm smile. "Well, it's been a while, Jim."

"It has," the taller man replied, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. "The last time we saw each other was during that time with Hokage-sama and Hikari, huh?"

"Yeah…" Dad trailed off for a moment, looking to the side before lifting his head to show off a brighter grin. "It's good to see you doing so well again, old friend."

"Good to see you too, man," Jim-san answered gently, cerulean eye soft with something I couldn't recognize. "So… You have a family now, huh?" I didn't miss how the taller man peered over to look at me, a flash of recognition going through the lone dark blue orb. "Never would have thought you'd finally settle down."

"Eh," Dad shrugged, looking as nonchalant as ever. Even so, I couldn't help but notice how his grip on my hand tightened a bit. "Finding a good partner does that to you. So I heard you took up the crafting business?"

"Yep." Jim-san beamed, looking much brighter than before. "After all that's went down, turns out working with a carving knife and furnace is a lot better than a bloodied kunai. The other ninja seem to appreciate it — heck, I was surprised to see the former White Fang come in a while back mentioning you!" The cowboy laughed, tone soft. "I was actually looking around to find some more materials this morning when I stumbled on your little ojou-chan."

Dad simply breathed out through his nose in a quick huff before his smile turned a bit sheepish. "Tomoko-chan wasn't too much trouble, was she?"

To my surprise, Jim-san began to laugh, arms winding across his stomach. "Of course not, Judai! If anything, she's a keeper alright. I can understand why you retired in the first place when looking at her." I couldn't help the hot blush staining my cheeks at this point, and found myself quickly hiding in the back of Dad's shirt. Luckily, he didn't seem to mind.

"Glad to see you understand too, Jim," Dad seemed to finally relax at that comment, loosening the hold he had on my hand significantly while grinning. "Thanks for bringing her back home. It's been a bit rough lately."

Yeah, no kidding. I found myself commenting in my head.

The taller man blinked before sighing sympathetically. "Yeah, I heard. Sorry about what happened yesterday at the cafe. Just know that if you need any help, I'm always there, okay?"

Dad blinked, clear surprise in his brown orbs before a small smile came over his face, replacing the big grin he once had. "Yeah, thanks Jim. I'll come to you if the situation ever needs you."

To my surprise, the craftsman then turned his eye to me, bending down to one knee to look at me in the eye. "And that applies to you too, Tomoko-chan, okay?"

"…Huh?" I found myself mumbling, still somewhat hiding in Dad's clothes.

Jim-san grinned again before reaching into his left pant pocket, scourging around before the familiar light bulb of recognition showed on his face. To my surprise, he pulled out what appeared to be a small wooden figurine in the shape of a crocodile, reaching over to place it in my smaller hand. Just from looking at it, I could tell the craftsman put a lot of work into the figure because I could clearly make out the crocodile's eyes, various scales, and even a small scarf similar to Jim-san's tied around the animal's neck — all individually sculpted and painted on such a small piece of wood. "This little girl is Karen," The craftsman folded my fingers around the figure, looking at me with a warm gaze. "She's the mascot of my shop and what I would like to call my best friend. If you ever get lost or need help again, just hold onto her and you'll find me, okay, Tomoko-chan?"

I felt both honored and weirded out by the gift, but nevertheless closed my hands over the figure to hold close to my heart. Might as well look at this as a good luck charm. "Thank you, Jim-san."

The craftsman simply beamed again before reaching over to place a warm hand on my head, ruffling my hair a bit. "You're welcome ojou-chan." With a swish of his vest, Jim-san got to his feet, dusting off his pants before grinning at Dad. "You take care of her, Judai, alright?"

Dad scoffed. "No need to be Captain Obvious there, Jim! I know."

In response, the "cowboy" blinked before letting out one last laugh, turning his back on us and giving a peace sign in our direction before walking off. "See you, old friend!"

"See you again soon, man!" Dad waved frantically in Jim-san's direction, and I couldn't help but look up at him.

"…So you really knew Jim-san, Daddy?" In response, Dad blinked before kneeling down to look at me, brown eyes warm.

"I did, Tomoko-chan, ever since we were teenagers." Before I could say anything more though, Dad grabbed my shoulders to turn me around in the direction of Nagareboshi, jerking his head upwards. "But I don't think that's what you should be focusing on right now."

"Eh?" I said rather carelessly. Dad scoffed again before motioning upwards with a nod of his head, and I followed the direction of his eyes only to get a glimpse of silver hair on the roof.

Oh. My mind commented slowly, connecting the dots.

"He was worried too, sweetie." Dad said softly behind me, hands still on my shoulders. "Go up there and talk to him, okay?"

Dad didn't have to say anymore. I was already running into the cafe to head upstairs and find the nearest staircase leading up to the roof.

I had a best friend to talk to.

Kakashi wasn't surprised to see Tomoko attempting to climb onto the roof where he was at. With all the panic that happened in the morning, he was too tired to really care anymore.

Why did she have to leave on her own anyway? Especially after all that happened the day before?

Even she should have realized going by herself, even in the village, was dangerous.

Kakashi didn't want to see that scene ever again.

It should've been a relaxing afternoon that day. After such a disastrous D-Rank mission with Obito fooling around as usual and Rin staring at him in a way that just made him uncomfortable, Kakashi was looking forward to Tomoko's usual piano.

Not to walk in seeing someone trying to kill her.

"See, you fuckers?! This wench could easily die with just a hand! Do you really want to relax knowing someone like me could take her away?! Start working harder, you bitches, or I'll kill her right now!"

Kakashi didn't even think. All that was on his mind was protecting his best friend. The kunai instinctively found its way into his hand, and the way the man screeched in pain at the slash he landed on his wrist was satisfying. The blood spurting out was just the frosting on the cake.

He just wasn't expecting Judai-san of all people to take charge, and with a translucent sword to boot.

Kakashi was too in shock at the sight of the older man holding Tomoko's captor at swordpoint with such a strange weapon to even mentally protest at his thunder being stolen.

Even when working on missions with other older ninja than Minato-sensei, there wasn't a single person that moved in the way Judai-san did. Sakumo did mention that the cellist was a former ninja, but this?

It just made Kakashi that much more curious as to why Judai-san retired as a ninja in the first place.

He didn't really have time to think on it though since Tomoko needed help. Kakashi didn't even need to look behind him at the time, since he could hear how scared she was. Her normally high-pitched voice sounded coarse and almost sickly, and his ears could've bled knowing that she was close to crying in Minato-sensei's arms.

Tomoko shouldn't have been crying. She should've been smiling as always, greeting him and the rest of the ninja with her gentle music.

She wasn't supposed to be clutching onto him for dear life, sobbing her heart out the way she did. Kakashi was grateful for his team for the first time in days, since their added presence seemed to make the situation just a bit lighter. And in the end, he found himself hugging his friend back just as tight.

She shouldn't have experienced that. Tomoko was a civilian — she shouldn't have gotten so close to the edge of death like that. Fellow shinobi he could understand, but Tomoko? Even at his age, Kakashi knew that the ninja world wasn't something the civilian pianist would fit well in — and she had far too close a brush with the dark sides of it.

His sanctuary was almost taken away — and all under his nose.

But the silver-haired Hatake would always remember it. Those cries were still stuck in his head, and hearing that she went out on her own the next morning, leaving only a note, just made the memory worse.

Initially, he tried searching with his team. Kakashi went to every place he thought of, including her room, the familiar interior of Nagareboshi, and even the ninja library. But nothing seemed to be turning up. His sense of smell apparently wasn't helping either, since with each passing hour, the number of passerby just muddled the familiar rosemary he was used to.

His conflicted feelings from the night before didn't really help, and in the end, Kakashi left it up to Jiraiya-sama and Minato-sensei to help his teammates. Even though he knew it was okay to feel the way he did when trying to find a friend, it wouldn't serve as a good image for himself knowing that he could've cried.

A ninja was not supposed to cry until after the mission was over. Once he was off the field. She was the one who told him that.

"It's true that in the field, Rule #25 says that 'shinobi must never show their tears,' but you're not in the field right now. You're here with me in Nagareboshi, and it's okay to not be a shinobi here. It's okay to be human — no one's going to judge you. I will never judge you."

He was supposed to be the strong one in Team Minato — not cry like the dead-last Obito.

So then why was it so hard to face her when she came up to the roof? Looking at Tomoko's blue eyes just seemed to equal "huge weight on his chest," and Kakashi was honestly not in the mood to deal with that kind of emotional shit.

"Kakashi-kun…?" And why did her call of his name just make his innards hurt so much more?

Kakashi forced himself to look away, doing his best to ignore the soft blue orbs looking at him.

Despite this, his ninja senses could pick up the girl's movements, noting how her steps seemed so much more hesitant, too light to pick up at first glance. His ears could pick up the gentle shifting of her skirt as she slowly sat down next to him.

Then, there was silence. It was possibly one of the "contemplative silences" that Tomoko named after his Chunin Exams, but Kakashi didn't know what to make of it.

Just smelling that familiar rosemary just made his heart weigh so much more in his chest and for all of his planned words to just leave his mind.

What was he supposed to say?

"... I'm sorry, Kakashi-kun." He found himself jolting at the sudden touch on his right fist. It was both familiar and different, even though it was still Tomoko. But why did she sound so sad? Did she know something that she wasn't supposed to know? It was these thoughts in mind that Kakashi found himself shakily turning his head only to get a glimpse of black hair shading his friend's face. "I know I messed up, and I can't really tell you what's fully going on in my head right now."

"…Why not?" he found himself choking out.

When you've always heard me out? Am I really such a bad friend to not know what's going on with you?

Tomoko blinked before smiling sadly, sighing. "I'm not really sure myself. But I mainly walked out this morning just to get a grip on my thoughts. There's been a lot going on lately, and at the time, I didn't want to worry you."

Kakashi found himself frowning through his mask at the civilian girl. "Well, we both know how well that went." The ninja was surprised at the amount of venom going through his words, and found himself regretting it immediately. The heartbroken expression his friend had just made his heart feel worse. He was expecting anything — a slap, a yell, anything.

Not what Tomoko said afterwards. She just slumped into herself with another sigh. "I know — Mom, Dad, and Kushina-nee already called me out on that." Despite her solemn tone, she didn't let go of his tense hand, lightly stroking the back of his palm. "I can at least say this though."

"…What?"

"I will be able to tell you eventually, Kakashi-kun." She smiled, and for once, the weight on his heart seemed just a little lighter. "It's not now, but you'll know eventually. You're my best friend — I'll let you know when I need you, okay? Don't take it as an insult to yourself." Tomoko sighed again, and Kakashi couldn't help but notice the soft indication of bags under her blue eyes. "It's just me — and I need to figure this whole thing out before I can say anything. You understand, right?"

Kakashi did. It was frustrating and honestly, irritating to know that the girl was keeping a secret, but the solemn glint in her eye said more than enough. For the first time that day, he turned to look at her fully, taking in the familiar appearance of his best friend before nodding slowly. "…Alright."

I just hope it's sooner rather than later.

Author's Notes: First up, I'm sorry to all of you guys for taking so long with this update. When writing this chapter, I had to deal with the stress of possibly dropping a class, writer's block, and a sudden case of light food poisoning, so.. Yeah. I do appreciate all the support you all have given me though, and I hope this chapter makes up for it! I did my best to cut back on the fluff — namely the hugs (since Frost-Ninja Dragon, my consultant says is the main culprit of all the fluff).

And to Anseo and the other reviewers who reviewed Chapter 18, thank you! Civilian Pianist is now at 201 reviews, more than 400 followers, and 300 favorites! It's thanks to you all that this story has come so far, and I hope you continue to enjoy Tomoko's journey!

P.S. For those who recognize who Jim is and the inspirations for Tomoko's family, congrats! You get a medal for following me for so long! For those who don't know — the hint is on my deviantart page (vongolafamily2256) and what anime series I've been into, ok? Enjoy!