Disclaimer: Again, I don't own anything or anybody except Tomoko, her family, and Nagareboshi Cafe. Any concepts/ideas mentioned in this fanfiction that seem to be borrowed from another media/piece of continuity - note that I don't mean to plagiarize anything or anybody in any way! This fanfic was made for entertainment purposes, not for pissing off others! So yeah!

The theme for this chapter is Natalya Plays Piano's cover of the main theme from Kiki's Delivery Service. This was (and still is!) one of my absolute favorite Studio Ghibli movies, and I personally feel this cover in particular covers Tomoko's current situation. I recommend playing this theme during some of the more emotional moments.

As an extra note — Tomoko does play a song at the end of the chapter, specifically Kyle Landry's Kingdom Hearts Medley for Piano Solo, so consider this also a small reward for all you wonderful readers getting through the (really dark) angst I've been putting out lately! At the end, Tomoko does don the Super Sailor Moon Kimono Dress from Chapter 13 and Darling-Army again, so yeah!

Expect some light angst, a lot of heartwarming moments, and WAFF (Warm and Fluffy Fanfiction) ~

For everyone else, please enjoy! (Re-editing this for accessibility reminds me how much I hate my old writing, so I hope you enjoy this revised version in my place.)

Chapter 23: Finding Inspiration

"It turns out that the nightmares she had consisted of scenes of Team Minato, dead."

The resulting silence was so deep to the point a pin dropping would echo. Kakashi held back the urge to gulp down the lump in his throat in favor of keeping his composure, breathing deeply. On the other hand, his teammates weren't faring so well. Obito had blinked many times before gaping like a dead fish and falling over to faceplant into the grass while Rin's eyes had widened to the point of appearing glassy, a hand landing over her mouth.

A few seconds passed.

Obito was the first to break the tense silence after Kakashi's revelation, quickly closing his gaping mouth and shakily sitting back up. "…Wh-What the hell, Kakashi?" The Hatake wasn't surprised to hear his teammate's voice crack. "A-Are you serious?"

The Chunin just gave the Uchiha a half-lidded, exasperated stare. "Would I lie to you about this?"

Obito blinked before uncertainly shaking his head, the horror slowly dawning on his face.

Kakashi was still shocked, however, at the sight of Rin's eyes filling up with tears. "S-So then… T-Tomoko-chan has…" The medic's voice got caught in her throat before she could finish.

The Uchiha glanced at the brunette before reaching over and rubbing her back with a hand, glancing back at Kakashi with concerned black eyes. "…How did it happen in the dreams?"

The Chunin held back a wince to instead look down at his lap. These kinds of loaded topics were still something he felt uncomfortable handling. After all, he wasn't a therapist. And even then…

"Obito-kun g-got crushed by a rock, Rin-chan got s-stabbed in the heart, Minato-san got impaled… a-and…K-Kakashi g-got k-k-killed by an enemy nin…"

Tomoko's crying face still haunted his thoughts. The only reason Kakashi didn't ask further back then was because his best friend was already emotionally unstable as is.

But his team? Would his teammates even want to hear this? Rin was already close to crying and Obito didn't look that much better, even with the protective lens his orange goggles provided. Heck, even Kakashi himself didn't feel confident in his emotional control for once.

How were you supposed to react when a close friend tells you that they've been having nightmares of your death?

In the end, his heart gave him the answer anyway.

You should tell them. You came this far already — they deserve the truth.

Kakashi took in a breath before continuing. "Tomoko didn't say much at the time, but she basically summarized that Obito died by rockfall—" The Uchiha stiffened, the beginning of tears showing through his goggles. "Rin got stabbed— " The medic gasped, tears finally starting to leak out. "Minato-sensei…got impaled—" The Chunin took another shaky breath before finishing. "A-And I apparently got killed by an enemy."

Once again, a tense silence blanketed the group of ninja before someone decided to break the ice.

This time, it was Rin, still crying somewhat, but calm enough to choke out a response. "…Oh kami… And Tomoko-chan's been dealing with this for three months?"

This time, it was Kakashi's turn to go silent, eyes averted from the others. He hated to admit it even in his own head, but it was true. The Chunin couldn't pretend that he didn't hear the gasps and occasional scream in the middle of the night during the past few months. It pained him to not approach the situation earlier — even though he had good reasons.

Tomoko told him that she would come to him when she was ready - so Kakashi tried to wait.

He really did, even when hearing her sob in the next room every now and then. Even when every inch of his being just wanted to run over and help, Kakashi held back to respect her and kept hoping that she would come to him first.

But now, in the eyes of his teammates, that idea just sounded like a petty excuse.

What was the point in waiting when his friend's suffering was blatant enough to the point of Obito and Rin, two Genin, noticing behind his back?

It just made his whole effort seem almost pointless.

"W-We can't just leave it like this!" Kakashi was snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of Obito's yell. Ignoring the ringing of his ears, the Chunin turned to only see his Uchiha teammate stand up suddenly and fist pump. "If Tomoko-chan's been having really bad dreams about us — let's work hard so that they won't happen in reality!"

...What?

Rin blinked away some of the tears before wiping at her eyes with a hand to look up at her black-haired teammate. "I-I'm not sure if it's that simple, Obito. We don't know if these dreams are really going to come true. Heck, we don't even know the full reasoning behind them yet."

The Uchiha only blinked before looking down at the medic with a nervous smile. "W-well, it's true that there's a lot of suspicious stuff about all this, but Tomoko-chan was upset enough about it. We both saw that, Rin!"

Rin blinked again. "Y-Yeah…"

"…Can you really do that, being the crybaby ninja you are?" Kakashi found himself deadpanning. It was hard to believe that such a clumsy person could accomplish such a feat.

Saying that you could prevent your own death was a lot easier than actually doing it considering Obito — heck, even Kakashi himself — had no exact clue on how it happened.

Despite his rather callous tone, the Uchiha didn't seem deterred but instead more determined, grinning. "Of course I can, Bakashi! I'm the man that's going to become Hokage! I can't just let myself die by some bad rock!" To the Hatake's surprise, Obito lowered his fist from the sky to look at it with a contemplative stare. "…Not to mention, this war is horrible. I don't want to make my friends worry when heading out there protecting them."

For some strange reason, lightness replaced the weight on the Chunin's chest. Kakashi didn't want to admit it, but a part of him wanted to believe the washout Uchiha. He may have been a bumbling ninja, but Obito seemed to have the ability to say just the right thing in the right situation.

In the end, Kakashi sighed before standing up and dusting off his pants. "Alright then. Does that mean you won't be late from now on?"

"Of course!" Obito gave him a proud thumbs up, and Kakashi held back the urge to just say, Liar, opting to roll his eyes.

…Some things never change. "That's good because we're sparring — right now." Kakashi pulled his fists close to his chest, marveling the few seconds it took for the Uchiha's smile to turn into a panicked frown, horror slowly dawning on his face.

Rin blinked, tears almost completely gone from her expression. "K-Kakashi?"

"OI, OI!" Obito was starting to wave his hands frantically in the air. "Wh-What's this about sparring?! I was in the middle of a big speech there!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes again while taking a tighter stance. "If you have time to say that, then you should easily be able to handle a spar with me, right? As the upcoming Hokage, you need to work hard if you want to handle not dying, dork."

"W-Wait a second—" The sounds of fists meeting fists (…or unsuspecting hands) resulted, and in the background of the sudden fight, Kakashi swore he could hear a small laugh.

We have to get better if it means not letting those dreams come true.

The first gift I ever received in my time away from the piano was from Might Guy. If anything, it came out of nowhere. At the time, I had just finished setting down some food for some customers, having straightened myself to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

The next thing I knew, my entire horizon was filled with flowers. No matter how much I turned my neck, it looked like I was buried up to my nose in white, bell-shaped flowers.

"Tomoko-chan, I am so sorry for your loss of youth!" Even with the booming voice sounding very close to me, it was as though the words went through one ear and out the other.

"…Huh?" I said intelligently, only really regaining enough composure to duly hold onto the huge bouquet that was still in my face.

…Guy?

Oh great, Hisako muttered.

"I went to the Yamanaka Flower Shop earlier and bought these so that you could find your youth again!" Only by bringing the flowers down was I able to finally take in the apparent greatness that was the future Green Beast of Konoha, light suspiciously highlighting the bowl cut on his head. And was I seeing a sunset in the background? "Kanon-san said that these white heathers stand for the idea that 'wishes will come true,' so I hope that my youthful wish for you will do the same!"

"…Huh?" I repeated, heathers drooping somewhat in my arms with the statement.

Guy turned solemn for a moment as the sparkly smile turned emphatic. "We all just miss the music you once held at your fingertips, Tomoko-chan."

My heart could've easily dropped to my stomach if it were possible. "G-Guy-kun…"

"I know! I know!" Before I could continue further, the Green Genin raised a palm to silence me, shaking his head. "I can't deny that a lot has happened. But your piano was what brought a lot of youth to Nagareboshi Cafe. I just hope you can find your own youth to return to it again."

The familiar mix of shame and happiness flooded me. "O-Oh…" A nervous giggle left me, and I found myself burying myself in white heathers to breathe in the sweet, flowery scent before giving the ninja a smile. "Thank you, Guy-kun." Because really, what else could I say in the face of that? "I'll do my best to search for it again."

At least, I hope I can find inspiration again.

"Of course, Tomoko-chan!" Guy gave me another bright smile with an accompanying thumbs-up. "I'll be wishing you the best of luck!"

And with a soft wave of his hand, the future Green Beast of Konoha turned on his heel and went out the front door, ignoring the gaping faces of the other customers in the crowd.

…Basically leaving me in the middle of the floor holding a rather gigantic bouquet of flowers that could easily smother someone's face. Joy.

"…Mom, where am I supposed to put this?" I found myself calling out towards the back.

The next day, it was Obito and Rin. They didn't actually give me a "gift" of things, but I could easily tell they were worried in some way. I know, I know, I should have seen this coming, considering how ALL ninja have some weird quirk, but I wasn't expecting them to hover over me of all things.

It was supposed to be another training session for Team Minato, and yet for some reason, it was the two Genin specifically that came around to ask me to join them.

…I originally guessed it was for the usual "mediating" I was in charge of for this rather dysfunctional team, but by the time I was escorted out to the training grounds, it was as though Team Minato had apparently 'worked out' the entirety of their issues.

The scene of Obito actively trying to work with my silver-haired best friend (who wasn't reading, strangely) only sounded alarms in my head. Heck, for once, the Uchiha wasn't insulting Kakashi and was instead putting a hand on his shoulder, talking to the Hatake about…something.

How was I supposed to take it?

"Alright then, team!" Minato-san's clapping of his hands tore me out of the blank that hit my head. "Even though we have D-ranks again this afternoon, it's still traditional shinobi sparring and training in the morning! First up is Kakashi and Obito!"

With that announcement, the two boys immediately jumped away from one another, making the familiar sign that Dad and Sakumo-san told me was called "the Seal of Confrontation" with their right hands. If anything, the way the hand was positioned reminded me of some of the signs used by my former Buddhist family in a rather casual prayer — though, I'm guessing in the Narutoverse context, it's a different story. My old female cousin once made that sign when passing by roadkill when driving during one of our many road trips back in the day — but I could tell this situation was more "addressing the confrontation" rather than "honoring a life that passed" that I remembered.

…Either way, I still feel clueless on handsigns. I never really did pick them up as a Naruto fan back during my time as Vy anyway.

You feel lucky that you don't have to worry about all that? Hisako deadpanned.

I just mentally shrugged. In the world outside my mindscape though, I was just really standing in the middle between Minato-san and Rin, watching the spar begin. Once Minato-san gave the signal, it was as though I was watching an action scene straight out of a kung fu movie or something. Every time one of the boys would attempt to attack, the other would parry with a well placed kick or fist, and even with shinobi speed, I had a strange feeling it was slowed down just a bit for me to catch most of the movements.

Were they holding back a bit?

"—moko-chan? Tomoko-chan?" I blinked and turned my head.

"R-Rin-chan?" I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until I said the medic's name, and my friend's expression took on concern.

"Are you okay?" The sudden question made my insides freeze over if possible. "You were really tense just now."

I opened my mouth to say something, only to close it when nothing came out. What was I supposed to say when I felt everything but okay?

"Uh…" I said helpfully.

Don't look at me, Vy back then wasn't good at this kind of stuff either, Hisako interjected with a face.

Great. Rin-chan and Minato-san were now looking at me, and I didn't even need to check on the boys. I could feel their sideways glances burning into the side of my head. Did they think I wouldn't notice?

…Sigh.

"Tomoko-chan, if something is bothering you, you know that you can talk to us, right?" Minato-san really resembled Naruto for a moment when towering over me, and for a moment, I couldn't unsee the image of the billowing white coat covering his shoulders. As expected of the future leader of Konohagakure. "You don't have to hold it all in by yourself."

Even as an elite Jounin and an older teenager, Minato-san already had the makings of the Fourth Hokage.

…Didn't really help my situation considering he was now in front of me, kneeling down to look at me in the eye.

…Say something, Hisako deadpanned after a moment, adjusting her glasses to make herself look more menacing. The stare is starting to hurt even here.

"I-I'm fine, Minato-san, really!" To hide my embarrassment, I just reached over to hug the kneeling Jounin, burying my face in his shoulder. Hopefully he didn't see the bright, shameful red across my face, because I honestly felt like a heater. "I-I just spaced out, that's all."

From the close distance, I could feel the Jounin frown, but it didn't stop him from hugging back. "Just come to us if you need anything, okay?"

"O-Okay…" The stares of his team weren't really helping my case.

By the time almost every customer and regular I knew at Nagareboshi had stopped me at least once to ask if I was "okay," one or two giving gifts of their own (consisting of flowers, music sheets, and even kimonos, why), I was honestly getting tired of the question.

I mean, I know that a lot has happened. The fact that I can't play the piano as well as I used to spoke volumes of that one moment where everything changed.

But what was I supposed to do?

How can you respond to something like "Are you okay?" when you're still reflecting on yourself to the point of questioning the idea of "okay"?

I was physically fine. But judging by the most recent memory sessions with Hisako and my past attempts at playing piano in the past week or two, I didn't mentally feel 'okay'. Even when going to Kakashi for advice, the conversations just felt... awkward sometimes.

"…Hey, Kakashi?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you handle yourself when you just don't know what to do?"

Kakashi had given me a questioning look. "…What do you mean by that, Tomoko?"

"Uh…I mean...how should I explain this…? Say that you're on a mission, right?"

"Where are you going with this?"

I tried not to fidget. "How do you deal with the concept of failure? How do you move on from something like that, being a ninja? I-I mean, you had to have thought about...uh…death..."

I remembered Kakashi sighing. "…I've never really failed a mission before, Tomoko. If anything, my only experience was with Dad, remember?"

It was hard to hide my wince. "Oh yeah…right." I lowered my eyes almost immediately. This was a bad turn to take the conversation, for both of us. "…I'm sorry."

Even back then, Kakashi was quick to reply, shaking his head. "Don't apologize — it's fine." He took a deep breath. "Back then, it was honestly shocking, Tomoko. Dad was the Konoha's White Fang, you know? He was said to be greater than even the Sannin. The fact that he could fail a mission, one so important like that one, just seemed so impossible at the time — and adding in the fact that everyone was shunning him didn't help. Why did it happen? Why wasn't he saying anything to me — his own son?" Kakashi had trailed off at the last part, and I gave him a moment. "…Even now, I still question how it happened since Dad hasn't fully shared everything."

I probably shouldn't have asked at all. "Kakashi…"

"But when heading out on a mission, Minato-sensei said that it's important to question things. Always look underneath the underneath — that is the way of the ninja. It's alright to reflect on things — look back on what you can do better, but don't let it consume you." Kakashi paused before swiveling his head to look elsewhere. It was obvious the words were borrowed, but still precious to him from the tone of his voice. "Dad almost let it consume him had you and your parents not stepped in."

Oh. "I see…"

"Feeling a bit better?"

I couldn't help but wryly smile. What a friend I had. "Yeah… though, Kakashi?"

"Hm?" Kakashi tilted his head at me. I took a breath.

"Could you teach me how to defend myself?"

Looking back at these past few weeks, it's been a slow process. Sure, I'm slowly recovering emotionally, but one question still remained.

Was I really doing enough?

Now, I know you all have heard me ask this before.

But this time, it felt a bit different.

Before that whole incident with the drunk guy, I was Nagareboshi's civilian pianist. The one musician that played otherworldly songs for the sake of providing comfort.

But when you take all that away, what's left?

I feel like Hisako would say, "an emotional nine year old girl who has yet to get over the whole reincarnation bull and the traumas of her past life." And in that way, she isn't wrong.

Right now, I'm not really sure who I really am right now.

Am I Hoshino Tomoko, pianist of Nagareboshi Cafe and civilian of Konohagakure?

Or am I living remnants of Vy, the 18 year old girl who died by a hit-and-run car crash, left regretting everything and everybody she left behind?

I just didn't know what to think anymore.

It was when I was attempting to meditate again one afternoon, about a week after I broke the whole 'self-defense' thing to my best friend, that Dad decided to come in and interrupt me.

"…Tomoko-chan?" The sudden call of my name made me open one eye, blinking at the sight of him standing beside the door knob, having already opened it to look into my room. Even with one eye open, I could tell that something was on his mind since Dad didn't have the usual "cheerful Dad smile" on.

Dad actually looked…sad from an angle, prompting an immediate response from me.

"Yes, Daddy?"

Adding to my confusion, Dad seemed to hesitate for just a moment, looking to the side and scratching his cheek before glancing back at me. "Is it okay if I could talk with you for a bit?"

I opened both my eyes and uncrossed my legs from the meditative position. "Of course it is, Daddy. What do you want to talk about?"

Dad blinked before smiling softly at me and turning to close the door behind him. Before I could really think about the meaning behind that particular smile, he had walked over to sit down next to me, reaching over to wrap an arm around my shoulders and pull me close to his side. The soft muscles of his shoulder supported my head as my new pillow, and the faint mix of cologne and sweat comforted me to the point of almost forgetting entirely about the tension in Dad's body.

The warmth of Papa made me nearly forget everything.

"…So I heard from Kakashi that you asked him for self-defense tips?"

The sudden question broke the formerly warm atmosphere, and I found myself stiffening.

"P-Papa?" was the weak response that left my shaking mouth. The sudden lump in my throat didn't help matters.

"Don't be so scared, Tomoko-chan. I'm just curious." The squeeze on my shoulder should have voiced that same sentiment, but for some reason, I just felt frightened. Then again, this was my Dad. As in, retired ninja Dad that could easily resort to other measures if I said something wrong.

…You're forgetting that you're the apple of this man's eye dear, Hisako muttered.

…Oh. Right.

I gulped down the lump in my throat to answer honestly. "I-I did, Daddy."

"Why?" It was such a simple question, but coming from Dad? I didn't really know how I was feeling.

Insides frozen over and the dreaded feeling of hell slowly dawning upon us both? Hisako offered.

…Yeah, I thought back, that works pretty nicely.

"Tomoko-chan?" Another soft squeeze around my shoulders. I looked down at my lap, forced myself to let go of the breath I was unconsciously holding to answer again.

Just go with the honest approach, Tomoko-chan, Hisako added, tone much gentler than before. It won't hurt.

"I just…I just don't know if I'm doing enough, Daddy." The confession escaped me before I could even think about it. "That whole thing with…that drunk customer a few months back showed that I need to defend myself. I know—" The sudden widening of those familiar brown eyes made me wave my hands in the air to keep his attention. "I know, Daddy, that you don't want me to be a ninja. Even I know I don't want to be a ninja. But…"

"But?" Dad prompted gently, turning me around slightly to look at me in the eye.

"I-I…" The sudden memory of that choke-hold made me instinctively touch the now-throbbing area with a shaky hand. "I-I almost died that day, Daddy — and I couldn't do anything. I almost left you and Mommy alone. Had Team Minato and you not come in time, I-I…"

Dad went silent for a moment, simply reaching over to pull me into another hug. Even though I could clearly take in the scent that was Papa, it was as though my entire body was frozen, arms too limp to return the hug.

"P-Papa?" I never thought I could hear myself sound so much like a vulnerable child.

"…Just let me do this for a little bit, okay?" I didn't even feel his chin rest on top of my head until he started nuzzling my hair. Somehow, some of my body controls were finally starting to return, letting me reach over and hug him back.

This wasn't the first time Dad looked so vulnerable, but that didn't mean it stopped being so scary.

Dad — Papa — shouldn't feel so sad like this. He shouldn't be emotionally hurt enough to cling onto me. Not because of me.

But he was still hanging onto me and I couldn't do anything but hang onto him in return.

We stayed like that for a while, sitting on the floor of my room and hugging one another tightly. Even when the sunlight was slowly fading in favor of the rising moon; even when my legs were starting to get a bit sore from being folded in a sitting position for so long — I just didn't care.

Daddy needed this hug. I knew I needed it too.

Soon enough however, Dad was the first to break the silence, sighing over my head before gently pulling away to put his hands on my shoulders. "Tomoko-chan, I'm not going to stop you from learning how to fight from Kakashi. Just answer one question for me, okay?"

I blinked. "Uh…okay? What is it?"

Dad smiled softly, a hint of something else in the brown orbs I remembered so fondly from my time as a baby. "Why did you decide to play piano in the first place?"

Instinctively, I found myself gulping down the sudden lump in my throat, which was starting to become a huge nuisance. "H-Huh?"

"Really, Tomoko-chan." Dad shook his head with the same smile on his face, squeezing my shoulders softly. "I already heard your recent attempts to play piano before coming here to talk to you. And why?" He sighed, a gesture that seemed to be one pointed at himself than at me. "Why did you decide to go out on the stage like that in the first place? I still remember when you were that three-year girl, climbing onto that bench and playing a song your Mama and I never heard before. You could have easily kept it to yourself — you didn't have to keep playing it for a living. You didn't have to play that piano simply to help the business. Mama and Papa both told you back then that you would be serving ninja. And Papa knows ninja aren't all good. That horrible drunk was an example."

The lump in my throat still came back despite my attempts to keep it at bay. "P-Papa…"

You're good, though… Kakashi too. Why are you saying these things?

You and I both know why, dear, Hisako said mournfully.

"That's why I'm still wondering why you keep trying, Tomoko-chan. You're trying to learn self-defense for the sake of going back to that stage — and don't say anything." I opened my mouth only to get a finger to my lips as Dad raised an eyebrow at me. "Let me continue, alright?" Since the red and green were starting to show in the brown, I took it as a sign to nod and comply with his request. "I can tell just by looking at you that you want to go back to that piano again. Why?"

I blinked before closing my eyes to think about the question. Why did I start the piano? After all this time, with all the bad memories and the experience of almost being killed by one of my customers, why did I want to go back?

…Considering that Hisako went silent in my mindscape, I guess this was something I had to think on.

When did I forget my original reasoning to become the Civilian Pianist anyway?

After a moment of just searching through blank book after book in my mindscape library, I just sighed and leaned against Dad, lightly bumping my forehead against his chest in frustration. "I-I'm not really sure anymore Daddy. It's been a while and I-I…I think I forgot…"

Urgh, that sounded ridiculous, even if I was being honest.

Was it because of the trauma caused by that drunk man?

Or was it the many memories of Vy, having overflowed after that single moment? The memory of her death? Of my old death?

From the close distance, I could feel Dad's chest rise and fall with his breathing as he chuckled softly, muscular arms reaching over to hold me against him in another hug. The rhythm of his heartbeat was steady and just homey, and I just closed my eyes. "I see…" The murmur that left his lips was quiet, but I could still hear it anyway.

"Neh, Papa?"

"Hm?" Dad hummed, having already tucked me into his lap and, once again, resting his chin on top of my head.

I didn't even think about the possibly sensitive content in my words, saying them anyway out of pure curiosity. "Papa was a shinobi once, right? How were you able to quit?"

I quickly found myself regretting the question instantly because the figure of Papa tensed underneath me, and I swore I could've heard a sharp inhale of air from above me. However, I couldn't really think about it since he was quick to recover and start nuzzling my head with his chin. Ack. Even without his stubble, it still felt uncomfortable. I guess it was karma at its best then for me asking something so touchy. "Why do you ask that all of a sudden, sweetheart?"

"It's just… uh…" I trailed off a little, doing my best to avoid the nuzzling chin — despite how strangely comforting it was, weirdly. "From what I've seen, ninjas aren't really able to quit doing what they do, Papa. Yet one time, Mama mentioned that with her help, you were able to quit." That kind of story was almost unheard of in Kishimoto's original story. So then, what happened? "How were you able to deal with that? I mean, you went to the Academy and had your own team like Minato-san has with Team Minato, right? You should've been doing it for most of your life at that point…"

Out of all the things I was expecting, I didn't think I'd feel Dad's chest start to rumble from a loud laugh. To my surprise, he just squeezed me closer to him in a warm hug, rubbing his cheek with mine for a bit. "Not exactly there, dear, but you are right in some parts." I blinked, and before I realized it, I was sitting fully in Dad's lap, my back resting against his chest with him hugging me from behind. "It's true that Papa was a ninja for most of his early life. I went to the Academy, got assigned to a Jounin sensei, and went on missions. But after a while, it just started becoming…questionable."

I blinked. "Questionable?" The hesitation in his voice at that part was especially hard to miss.

To my surprise, he chuckled again. "Oh yeah, you probably wouldn't know, Tomoko-chan…" Dad just snuggled me a bit more while reaching over to start playing with my fingers. "I think Mama already mentioned this to you, but a shinobi lifestyle is hard. Papa had to go through a lot, and back in the day, it was during the Second Shinobi World War, you know?"

Oh god, Hisako summarized for me suddenly, her eyes widening behind her glasses.

"When growing up, Papa wanted to be the hero. The person that would be able to save everyone, you know?" Despite his cheery tone, Dad was considerably tense, and with the close distance, I could feel it through his muscles. "But during the war, I wasn't able to do that. There were moments where I had to choose between killing somebody I didn't even know or being responsible for the death of a teammate. Did I really want to continue that kind of life when it meant fighting for a cause that I didn't believe in?"

I wanted to say something — anything, to answer his question. But from the looks of it, Dad wasn't done with his tale. "Papa…"

"One of the things Konoha didn't say in the textbooks at the time was that the 2nd War started because of 'territory expansion.' Everyone in the Academy and in my generation was led to think that we were getting attacked by Ame and the other villages, two decades after the 1st War, and that in the name of the 1st and 2nd Hokages who perished in that war, we needed to use their Will of Fire to protect the village. But it was just a petty lie."

For a moment, I felt pure venom in Dad's voice, and a part of me was scared. What had Dad — Papa — gone through to feel like that? To feel so hateful, even years after it was over?

"All those lives that stained the ground — all the people I had to kill — all of it was for expansion? I just couldn't believe at the time, you know?" I didn't even feel Dad's hand gripping mine until he squeezed it tightly. "I thought I was saving my comrades by going out there and fighting almost every day. But all it was doing was prolonging a conflict that could've been avoided." Dad's chest rose and fell from a long sigh, the exhale dragged out enough to tickle the top of my head. "So I knew I had to retire. I didn't want to fight anymore. But it was hard, Tomoko-chan."

"Wh-Why, Daddy?" I found myself asking softly, squeezing his hand back.

"You were right in saying that I lived as a ninja for most of my life up until that point. And I did. Even when picking up the cello, kunai and my chakra weapons constantly defined me up until that day." To my surprise, I could feel a soft smile grace Dad's face as he reached down to snuggle me again. "Everything changed when I met your Mama."

"…Mama?" I repeated, blinking up at him. Dad looked like the greatest lovestruck dork I had ever seen up until that point, a light pink brushing his cheeks as he reached up to rub the back of his neck.

"Yeah, your Mama. Hikari…" There was another sigh. "She's a strong lady, even for a civilian back then." Dad closed his eyes to just shake his head fondly. "It was around that time that I was really only playing the cello casually, and we just bonded over our love for music. Mama was a great violinist in those days too, and it was one of the first things that struck me about her. No matter what music sheets someone would put in front of her, she would just play a song the way she would want to. No one could defy her, and a lot of times, I just wished I had her willpower."

"So…" I interjected, squirming a little to look at Dad in the eye. "It was because of Mama that you found another way to live, Papa?"

Dad blinked before laughing loudly, actually throwing his head back to do so. I restrained the urge to flinch away, only really sitting there quietly — waiting for him to regain his composure. It took a couple of minutes, but my patience was worth it since Dad sat back up to simply grin at me in that "cheerful Dad" way of his I always loved. "Yeah, in a way, I did, Tomoko-chan. Your Mama gave me another reason to keep living in Konoha despite all the shit it threw at me back during those days of war. She was the one to march up to Lord Third himself, stating her case firmly enough to where he had to back down!" The big grin soon turned to a fond smile as Dad closed his eyes, reaching over to now ruffle my hair. "It's because I met her that I became who I am today. After all the things I saw, she made things bright again."

That's… honestly sweet, but then how does this relate to me?

To my surprise, Dad opened his eyes to grin again, leaning over to place a kiss on my forehead. "Maybe to answer my question, you need to do the same, sweetheart."

I blinked, lightly touching my forehead with a hand after he had pulled away. "Find my version of Mama?"

"Not exactly, dear." Dad chuckled again, snuggling me again before pulling away and standing up. "Mama made me revisit my roots in order to figure out where to go to move forward. So for you, Tomoko-chan, when going back to that piano again, what do you have to do to move forward?"

It took a few seconds for the lightbulb to go off in my head.

"Look back…" The answer left me in a soft whisper, and by then, Dad had on the biggest grin I had ever seen. I couldn't even react since he immediately grabbed me to swing around in a hug - causing the first, true bursts of laughter to leave my lips. "D-Daddy! Hee-hee — hey — hee — I'm getting dizzy~! P-Please — hee — stop!"

Far too soon, Dad set me back down onto my rather unsteady feet, grinning widely while pecking my forehead again. "That's my girl — I'm so proud of you, you know?"

The sudden statement prompted some tears in my eyes. This time, there weren't the sad ones that had been coming up in the past few months.

For once, they were tears of happiness.

"D-Daddy…"

Dad just grinned again before leaning his forehead against mine, reminding me of Kakashi. "No matter what happens, you'll always be Tomoko-chan, my little hime. I love you, you know that?"

The echoes just made the jubilation in my chest just explode. "I-I know that — I love you too Papa!"

And in the end, in that little room, we ended up sharing a good laugh. Even when the moonlight was already pouring in; even when Mom's voice could reach us upstairs, calling us down for dinner — I just didn't care.

For once, I felt whole again.

It was about a week later that Hoshino Hikari would get probably one of the biggest heart attacks in her life. Not an actual heart attack, but it was close.

It was supposed to be another work day, and the civilian woman was prepared to head out onto that stage again.

Nagareboshi needed someone at the music helm after all.

It was this in mind that it shocked her so much that morning when a soft tug at her dress stopped her from grabbing her violin.

Initially, Hikari played it off as just her imagination. But when she attempted to reach for her beloved instrument again, the same soft tug could be felt on her other side, this time with an accompanying voice.

"…Mama?" Hikari blinked. There was only one person in the entire world that called her with that name.

The violinist looked down to see her only daughter gazing up at her with hesitant blue eyes, dressed in her nightgown and holding something against her chest. It took only a few seconds for Hikari to truly see that "something" for what it was, and was too far in shock to respond.

It only took Tomoko's second saying of her name did Hikari snap out of her funk, and the civilian blinked again before kneeling down to her daughter's height with a small smile.

"What is it, Tomoko-chan?"

For once, the girl didn't look so small. In fact, even with Hikari kneeling down, the mother could tell that Tomoko was starting to get taller, and the garments that were in her arms were proof enough. "I-Is it…Is it okay if you could help me put this on?" Tomoko held up the clothes in her hands, and Hikari carefully hid away the shock on her face to smile.

Her little girl was holding up a familiar kimono dress — a dress that she hadn't worn since she was eight years old. The pink lace sleeves and the bright magenta obi just cemented the image in the civilian's mind.

"Of course I can, Tomoko-chan," Hikari murmured softly, forgetting about her violin in favor of the child she loved so much. "But what for?"

"I-I…" Tomoko turned a bit hesitant, blues eyes glancing to the side before looking back at her again with nervous anticipation. "I want to try playing the piano again, Mama."

Those words were something Hikari wanted to hear for the past few months, and the mother couldn't stop the bright smile blooming on her face.

Her daughter was becoming herself again.

Uchiha Obito didn't know what to expect when Tomoko came by, requesting his presence at Nagareboshi Cafe. The fact that Minato-sensei and his two other teammates were invited just added to the mystery.

And then, possibly, the rest of his Academy class?

Obito didn't know what to expect.

Last he checked, Tomoko was still far from reaching her previous prime at the piano, having still occupied the waitress position at the cafe.

But when walking through those doors later that night, the atmosphere said otherwise. For once, Nagareboshi Cafe looked much cleaner than it had been in the last few months, tables actually "sparkling" from an angle and seats set out for everyone. It looked like everyone was in a mix of informal and formal wear, with Minato-sensei specifically donning his Jounin outfit while Obito could spot Kakashi (the elite Bakashi) wearing a vest and tie. Luckily, the Uchiha didn't feel that out of place, since his ninja gear of navy blue jacket with orange outlines didn't seem to make him stand out much.

It was when Obito took a seat next to Rin (looking absolutely adorable as always with her purple tattoos) that the lights went out. Initially, Obito panicked, looking around to try discerning the situation, ignoring the murmuring around him. But soon enough, a single spotlight shined through the sudden darkness, illuminating the center of the cafe and revealing one figure Obito never thought he would see again.

Hoshino Tomoko stood in the center of the light, donning what appeared to be a completely new kimono dress, with lacy pink sleeves, bright magenta obi tied into a bow at her back, and a black-white-yellow striped skirt. Accompanied with white stockings and black sandals, it was as though the girl came out of a fairy tale story with her new outfit and white hair ribbon.

With such an entrance, it could've easily overshadowed the great piano standing behind the girl if not for the instrument's own shine and large size.

Silence seemed to blanket the crowd almost immediately as the girl stepped up to the only microphone in the room to take a breath and speak.

"To all of you who came to Nagareboshi Cafe today, thank you for coming back. I'm sorry for taking so long in returning to the piano — after what happened 3-4 months ago, it was hard trying to go back. I kept having nightmares of dying, and honestly questioned a lot of what I was doing. If someone could so easily hate my music, was I doing the right thing by providing comfort the way I did?"

For once, Tomoko resembled less of that mysterious girl on stage and instead appearing like the hesitant waitress, shakily taking in another breath. Obito didn't know what to make of it. "But someone told me that I needed to look back. Getting lost in the what-ifs would only scare me from doing the right thing and remembering the original reason as to why I started standing on this stage in the first place. I shouldn't let my worst fears consume me in times of grief, and I think that's important to remember when going forward. I hate to admit it, but Konoha is in times of war. We won't have the chance to always have fun or smile like we used to. But it's because of that reasoning alone that we need to remember when to relax. We all need to remember where we are — when it's a good time to put the war behind us. Because we're not just people of Konohagakure — we are all human too. We can get hurt, we can cry, we can mope just like anybody else. It's because we are all human that we need to be kind to others."

Obito was honestly surprised the civilian girl was saying so much. Now that he thought about it, Tomoko was the only person standing on the stage, not to mention in a large spotlight and sharing what appeared to be her true feelings to so many people. He probably would've stumbled had he tried something similar, but Tomoko had quickly gotten over her initial nervousness, judging by her breathing, smiling gently while holding the microphone firmly.

If the Uchiha didn't know better, it was as though Tomoko was used to this kind of thing.

"It's okay to question things and be unsure. Just make sure to remember the reason why you are you. Because if you think too much on the what-ifs and things in the future, where will it lead you?" Tomoko let out a soft giggle, and then bowed. "I hope this concert will show you that. Thank you."

To Obito's surprise, a soft round of applause sounded from the entirety of the cafe, and no matter where he looked, everyone was clapping. It quickly became apparent that quietly sitting around after such a speech wouldn't really be the best image (considering that Rin and Kakashi were clapping too), so Obito joined in, quickly looking around to make sure no one saw his mess-up.

Then, silence.

Tomoko had already left the microphone to sit down at the piano bench once more, folding her skirt underneath herself. It was both nostalgic and worrisome to see the civilian back at her place in Nagareboshi again, but there was one thing that really bothered the Uchiha.

How would the performance go?

It had been more than 3 months since her last public concert, and Kakashi had mentioned Tomoko's previous attempts at playing before.

His teammate lightly put it as "nothing really coming together."

What made this performance so different?

In the end, it was up to time itself to tell the story. Obito focused heavily on the civilian girl sitting at that large piano, breathing in softly before putting her hands on the familiar black and white keys. Had he not done that, he may have seen the small, hair strands of what appeared to be yin chakra slowly flowing out from the piano.

Tomoko inhaled deeply, muttered something intelligible to the ninja's ears, and then closed her eyes.

"Please work."

The next thing the Uchiha knew, Tomoko was playing. To his shock, the medley his ears were picking up were something he never even heard before, ranging from soft choruses to loud, triumphant chords. Initially, the girl started off slow, never really touching the keys with that much force. But as time went on, her shoulders started to relax while her hands began to speed up, combining various notes into something amazing. There were moments where he recognized a beat, and others that he didn't even remember Tomoko ever playing before.

His ears couldn't detect a single missed note, and at times, his imagination whisked him off to different worlds in collaboration with the music. Sometimes, he would be in a flying ship, waiting for takeoff. Other times, Obito found himself on a vast horizon of green grass and flowers, looking up into the bright blue sky. There were even moments where his mind imagined images of beaches, deserts, towns filled with twilight and fading sunlight — so many things he never really thought about in his normal thought process.

Far too soon, the soft medley ended, and Obito blinked to see stars.

Tomoko, blinking from her seat at the piano, looked almost awestruck between her glances at the keys and her own hands, before turning around to face the crowd.

There was silence and then…

Applause.

Just… Loud applause.

Obito didn't even realize he had joined in on the spectacle until he could feel the soreness in his palms from clapping them together so much. Apparently, many others shared the same sentiment, having gotten up from their seats and actively cheering.

From the looks of it, the loudest supporters were Minato-sensei, Kushina-san, Rin, and — woah — even Kakashi!

Judging from the sudden outbreak of tears in the civilian's blue eyes and the warm smile she was sending to him and everyone else in the cafe, Obito could at least conclude one thing.

Even in this time of war, even after all that had happened.

The Civilian Pianist was finally back.

Author Notes: So I honestly don't have much to say on the reasoning as to why this chapter took so long. It was honestly a combination of brainstorming, far too much planning (to the point of stressing a bit), and family moving in. Because of that, I apologize to all my readers and followers because this chapter was long overdue. Hopefully this is a good holidays gift since I'll start working on the next chapter ASAP.

On the other hand, I have to address a couple things mentioned in this chapter. First up, Judai says that he was involved in the 2nd Shinobi War during his time as a ninja, and because of that, I felt the need to establish a bit of the timeline leading up to where Tomoko and her friends are currently.

So basically, the 2nd Shinobi World War is where I believe (note that this is taken from my talks with Frost-Ninja-Dragon, Narutopedia, and my own interpretation):

- The Sannin got their fame for fighting against Hanzo the Salamander

- Jiraiya trained the Ame Orphans, seeing it as the 'least he could do' after finding out they all lost their parents.

- Jiraiya, after leaving the Ame Orphans, went on to train Minato to the Jounin he is now.

- The Ame Orphans have started up Akatsuki, still going on about peace due to Madara having not interfered

- Tsunade lost her lover Dan Kato near the end of this war, leading to her nonexistent presence in Nagareboshi right now

- Sakumo Hatake was able to establish his reputation as the White Fang

Then, going on with the events leading to the 3rd Shinobi World War and present time in Civilian Pianist:

- In the last few years of the 2nd Shinobi World War, Judai met Hikari and later on went to retire from the ninja life to marry her.

- Judai and Hikari would then open Nagareboshi Cafe first to establish a good living.

- Then, Judai and Hikari would have Tomoko, roughly 9 days after Kakashi's birth to Sakumo and his wife (which a lot of headcanons seem to point towards her being an Inuzuka).

- The other ninja in Kakashi's generation (e.g. Obito, Rin, Kurenai, Gai, Asuma, etc) are also born during this same time frame.

- Tomoko first plays the piano when she's 3 years old.

- When Tomoko turns 5, she finally is considered a full-time worker at Nagareboshi, and it is also at this time that she meets Minato, Kushina, and Kakashi.

- Tomoko then meets Obito and Rin before later witnessing Kakashi's Chunin Exams when they all are 6 years old.

- Tomoko first meets Gai when she is 7.

- When Kakashi and Tomoko are 8, Sakumo's dreaded mission happens, but luckily, things ended a bit happier. The Third Shinobi World War has begun, however, at the same time.

- When Tomoko is 9, she is then introduced to the newly formed Team Minato.

- About a few weeks after getting to know Team Minato, the 'drunk customer' incident happened, leading to Tomoko dealing with trauma and avoiding the piano.

- It is about 1 week after the 'drunk guy' incident that Tomoko finally goes to seek therapy from the Yamanakas, specifically Inoichi, leading to the discovery of Hisako.

Now, to finish off this last note, there were some reviewers that talked about Chapter 21 and how the Hokage's conclusion to investigate Tomoko further seemed somewhat forced and far too quick.

Looking back, I honestly have no excuse. At the time, I was trying to find a way to bring in a plot thread I was planning to cover in future chapters while also showing that there is more to Tomoko's life than just her ninja friends. The higher ups will have their eyes on her because what she didn't realize during her therapy session with Inoichi was that the Yamanaka was able to see more than she could describe. Due to her emotional state, Tomoko didn't recognize that Inoichi could see far more than she described - Tomoko was open enough so that Inoichi could see so much more. He just didn't say it to the Third until three months later, after a few more sessions with her, due to his bond with Judai. I just haven't really covered the investigation much since I didn't want to cram too much into this chapter.

*Not to mention, for those of you who thought that some of the ninja addressed in Chapter 22 were some of the investigators — that's wrong. The ninja viewpoints in Chapter 22 were specifically from ninja who have either attended Nagareboshi fairly recently or haven't even tried it at all — and therefore have no connection to Hiruzen's current investigation right now. As of this chapter, the only ones in the whole investigation segment with Tomoko is Hiruzen and Inoichi - that's it. I will expand on this in later chapters though.

I will go into Judai's backstory at one point though, but still.

Thanks again everyone, for sticking with Civilian Pianist, and Happy Holidays! Hope this is a good present for you all!