"I don't know what to do?"
He looked broken. It brought tears to her eyes.
"Olivia please tell me what to do."
Lilly was currently fast asleep on the couch. Which Olivia thanked god for. Olivia had put on a movie for her while Fitz and she talked. They had gone upstairs and the second she closed the door. He was on the floor. He wasn't crying at least not yet. He was on the floor knees to his chest rocking back and forth. She had only saw him like this once before and that was when they had lost their first baby. It honestly broke her heart. He didn't deserve this. And now he was asking her what to do. She couldn't worry about what she was feeling. And what was she feeling anyway? That was something she was going to have to figure out later. Right now, he needed her.
"We can take her to the hospital when she wakes up and I can do a paternity test. It will take a couple of days to get back, but I will put a rush on it. So, by tomorrow night we can know. Fitz she is going to need you, I am going to need you, so you need to snap out of this. We can do this alright?"
He just nodded. She got on the ground next to him and hugged him. He fit together with her perfectly he laid his head on her chest and felt the rising and the falling. It brought him so peace. If this was his daughter, they were in for a ride.
"We are in this together?" he asked just above a whisper.
"We are always in everything together" she replied.
"Okay so all I have to do is put this in your mouth and rub it against your cheek. Okay?"
"Will it wurt?"
"No, I promise it won't hurt." She still looked scared. Her eyes were big and ice blue and she had a crease right in the middle of her forehead. The same one Fitz gets when he is anxious or nervous. Olivia didn't need the test results she knew that Lilly was his daughter.
"Look I can do Fitz first" Lilly smiled and looked over at Fitz who seemed to be in his own world.
"Baby, come here"
Fitz grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers.
"Open up" Olivia demanded softly.
"Yes ma'am" he responded playfully before he opened his mouth nice and big for her. She carefully put the swab in his mouth and rotated it in a circular motion. He started to smile.
"Is it wurting?" Lilly inquired
Olivia pulled the swab out and place it in a glass test tub before screwing the lid on.
"No, not at all it just tickles a little" Fitz let out a little laugh.
"Okay your turn ready?" Olivia pulled out another swab.
"Will you wold my wand" Lilly asked looking directly at Fitz.
"Uh" he glances at Olivia who just gave him a warm smile.
"Of course," he took the tiny girl's hand in his. instantly he felt this spark. He wanted to believe that this wasn't his daughter. That her love for apple juice and news were both just a coincidence. That the way she chews on the inside of her cheek when she is thinking just happened to be something people do.
"Fizz" the sweet voice drew him out of his thoughts.
"Yes?"
"You can let go of my wand now I'm all wone" she wiggled her hand.
"Oh right, sorry" he let go of her hand and turned once again to Olivia who didn't want to meet his eyes.
"I'll get these to the lab" before I could say anything to her, she was out the door.
Olivia's POV
They just looked normal together. like they were meant to be together, like they were...Father and daughter.
"Hey love, what are you doing here on your day off?" Abby came out of nowhere.
"Um... Fitz might have a daughter who showed up at our door this morning. So, you know now I must put a rush on these DNA tests. I waved the two tests in the air. "I have to make sure that my husband indeed has a two-year-old child that he didn't know about... that I didn't know about. I can't even have feelings on the matter because... because I can't give him the one thing he has wanted since the day we met I can't give him the one thing I promised him since we got married. I can't deny him having her because I can't give him a child of our own." I didn't know when the tears started to fall.
Abby just stared at me like I had grown another head.
"Right, okay I have got to go to the lab" I wiped the tears off my face.
"Wait Liv, it isn't your fault and you know that. If it is his daughter, then you guys got this. He loves you Olivia and you love him. Communicate okay?" she grabbed my hand.
"Yeah, you're right."
"So, come on let's get these to the lab"
Later that night...
"Quinn told me we should have the results by lunch tomorrow" he didn't respond.
"We are going to have to get some clothes for her. My shirts are way too big."
They had set Lilly up in the spare bedroom. She was currently asleep after two glasses of apple juice and a promise to go shopping tomorrow.
"Fitzgerald are you even listening to me?" he had been doing this since they left the hospital. Not listening and just mumbling a few answers here and there. To say that she was tired of it was an understatement.
Still nothing.
"Fine whatever you can shut down and act like I'm not your wife. That is perfectly fine." she pulled the blankets down on her side of the bed and threw the throw pillows on the floor.
"That isn't what I'm doing Livvie. Why did you leave the room so fast, back at the hospital?" she stopped what she was doing taken back by his question.
"I didn't, I had to go to the lab" she lied
"Don't do that. Do not lie to me. We don't do that. Not to each other." She flinched at the hurt in his voice.
"I'm tired can I just go to sleep?"
"Fine"
He turned the over headlight off which just left the dim light from the lamp on his bed side table. She watched him as he placed her slippers at the perfect spot on the floor and turned the fan on. Next, he sat the glass of water on her bedside table and made sure the closet door was shut. Then he stripped into just his boxers and crawled into bed.
She heard him click the lamp off and waited until his breathing was even, which was the sign that he was asleep. Only then did she cry, she let all the pain of losing her children out. all the pain of the not knowing.
Fitz POV
I knew something was wrong with her and she was waiting for the right moment, when she thought I wasn't watching, to be vulnerable. So, thirty minutes after I had 'fallen asleep" It was no supposed to me that she began to cry. I rolled on my side and pulled her into my chest. that only made her tiny body shake even harder. the uncontrollable sobs that were overcoming her scared me. "It's okay, I'm here all you have to do is let me in". I let her cry for as long as she needed, until finally her sobs subsided. "I know she is your daughter." was all she stated. "I know I got that feeling too but that isn't the only thing that is bothering you." she rolled over in my arms so she could see my face.
she waited a moment probably thinking of the she best way to bring up whatever it was.
"I wanted so desperately to give you what you wanted, and I failed Fitz. I failed you and I am so sorry. Now you have the one thing I can't give you and I just don't know how I fit into this new life you're going to have. I am your wife and I failed you. Just please don't leave me, now that you have what you want you don't have a use for me anymore. but I can't live without you I don't know who I am without you. so please just stay."
She was back to crying and with what she had just confessed she wasn't the only one.
He cleared his throat, "Olivia what happened was not your fault. I have never blamed you not once. Baby you have to stop blaming yourself. You are the love of my life. I would never leave you. There is no me without you. We are going to get through this together. If Lilly is mine that makes her ours. Children was never my priority. Children with you that is my dream. I will love Lilly the same as our future kids liv. It's not one or the other. Livvie we can have both, we will have both. Okay?"
Her tears once again stopped "Okay".
"Now can my fantastic, beautiful wife give me a kiss and promise me that the next time something is on her mind she will tell me."
"I promise baby." then she kissed him. it was one of those kisses where all your nerve endings begin to burn. your breath gets caught and you realize just how much one person can love another.
And with that the both felt asleep. Olivia tucked in her rightful place in Fitz arms.