"We have to get those papers signed before you leave."

We were rushing to get everything prepared for the day.

Mondays were the worst.

"I know, Bring them buy the hospital today and we can have lunch and I will sign them." Liv gave me a quick kiss before she turned to leave out the door.

"Wait!" Lilly exclaimed

Olivia turned on her heels quickly turning to look at Lilly.

"Pumpkin, I gotta go." she pleaded with our daughter.

"Kisses bye bye." Lilly patted her lips for dramatic effect.

She really was a diva.

"Right sorry" she picked lilly up in her arms.

I smiled as Liv gave her kisses all over. I watched Lilly try to squirm out of her hands. Liv looked happy, even though the extra hours are killing her and she is physically exhausted, she still looked happy.

Lilly was the best thing that could have happened to us. Granted, children with Liv is the dream. A product of the love between us had always been the dream. Even though Lilly isn't a physical part of Liv she still was ours.

Seeing Liv so carefree and loving towards lily made my heart swell.

I was so in love with her.

"Daddy is staring." Lilly whispered loud enough for me to here.

"He is a weirdo huh?" Liv snuggled her face into Lilly's neck and hugged her tightly.

"Yeah Daddy's a wier-"

"You two talkin about me?" I asked throwing my hand over my chest acting offend.

"No daddy we would never" They shared a knowing smile.

"Good because I would have to cry." I smiled at liv and grabbed Lilly from her arms.

"Mommy has to go now, but we will see her at lunch" Lilly nodded her head in approval and kicked her feet signaling that she wanted to be put down.

I put her feet on the ground and she was off. Most likely into the living room to watch the news.

I took this as an opputunity to get closer to Olivia. I wrapped my hands around her lower body and pulled her into me.

"Hi" I whispered when she was close enough to me.

"Hi" she smiled warmly at me and I really truly believed God had made her for me.

"I think I'm going to take her to the park today. Then I will swing by the hospital." I mumbled into her hair.

"Sounds perfect make sure you put sunscreen on her." She hugged me a little tighter.

"I have to really go" she pressed her lips softly agianst mine.

"I love you." she whispered against my lips.

Still in my embrace I held her tighter her and gave her another kiss.

"I love you big time." I let go of her and watched her leave.

It was like I was back in high school. I missed her, I knew we would be together again in a couple of hours but I really missed her.

"Daddy!"

We were on our way to the store and Lilly hadn't stop talking since we left. That means for the past ten minutes she has been talking about everything yet nothing. This is the 100th time she ha said Daddy.

"Yes baby?" I asked turning the music down that she insisted on playing.

"Have you found my real mom?"

Her question caught me off guard in the past month she hasn't spoke about Mellie. Olivia and I haven't brought it up hoping that she would when the time was right. I guess Lilly thought now was the time.

I glanced through the mirror at her. She was in her car seat kicking her feet looking out the window. Not a care in the world.

"Why do you ask bug?" My eyes went back to the road as I weaved through traffic.

"I know she went to heaven but Mia from school said when her uncle died they had a frnneral, but we didn't have one for her, right?"

We stopped at a stop light and I looked back at her again. Her attention was on me and her legs had stopped swinging.

"Funeral" I corrected her "It's called a funeral."

"Oh sorry Fu-Ner-Al. Did we have one?" she asked again.

"No bug we haven't. do you want to have one?" We really hadn't spoke about this I didn't even know it was weighing on her. Truthfully, I assumed she went through with her plan and I hadn't look further into it. I should have, I silent chastised myself.

"No, I just wanted to know." I pulled into the store parking lot and parked the car. I opened my door, got out and removed her from her seat. I kept her in my arms and hugged her tightly.

"If you ever have any questions you can ask me Okay? If you wanna talk about your mom we can."

"You want be mad." she pulled back and looked me in the eye.

"No honey I wont be." Being a dad has taught me that I didn't know what pain was until I saw my child's heart breaking.

"It hurts my heart when I think bout her. I miss her a lot." tears were falling from her piercing blue eyes.

I have been a dad for less then forty days, I was way out of my element. Olivia usually dealt with the crying, a part of me wanted to call Olivia and ask for help.

I can do this.

"I know it hurts bug, and I know your are sad. Your mom would be so proud of you."

"Really?" she wiped the tears away from her eyes and gave me a lopsided smile. She was getting

"Yes really!" I exclaimed kissing her nose, making her laugh.

"Just like mommy and me are proud of you. Your are such a smart girl and we are blessed to have you in our lives." I tried to be serious and genuine, yet caring.

Dad material hopefully?

"I like being your daughter." she stated matter of factly all evidence of tears were erased besides her red eyes.

"I love that you are my daughter. I love you so much and I hate to see you hurt bug." she wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed it tight.

"I love you Daddy big time." I gave her kisses on her cheek ad deposited her on the ground.

She interlocked her tiny hand into mine and we went into the store.

We grabbed a few things that we needed and went to the check out.

"Hi, how are you" the clerk asked as she rung our things up.

"We are good" Lilly replied with a smile.

"We are buying snacks for my mommy to surprise her at work!" She really had no problem talking to strangers. We would have to work on that.

"Wow that is really sweet." The clerk smiled at me and then Lilly.

"How old is she?" she asked steering the direction towards me.

"She is four about to be five." I let out a laugh as she danced around me.

"She is precious"

"Thanks"

"Daddy mommy needs chocolate." Lilly grabbed a snickers bar.

Olivia hates snickers a fact that Lilly is well aware of.

"Mommy doesn't like that" I reminded her.

She gave me a knowing smile.

"No daddy she loooovesss it." she flashed her puppy dog eyes at me.

"Okay, but grab a milky way too." she put them both on the counter and I swiped my card.

"Have a nice day" the clear called out to us before we left.

"Thanks, you too"

Olivia Pov

My phone rang

I rolled my eyes looking at the picture of my mother dancing across the screen.

I don't have to answer, I could blame it on work.

I watched the her picture slowly fade and I went back to my paperwork.

Seconds later I heard a ding subtitling I had received a text.

I know you aren't busy answer the phone!

I rolled my eyes as my phone started to ring again.

I answered it an. Pressed the phone agianst my ear.

"Hello Mom, sorry I was with a patient what's up?" The lie rolled easily off my tongue as I masked the annoyance in my voice.

"You never were good at lying." She said flatly.

Here we go, I thought to myself

"I ran into Fitzgerald's mother at the store a couple of days ago."

My heart stopped an I knew what was coming next.

"She was excited to tell me about her granddaughter. Lilly I believe the name was. I was confused, Fitzgerald is an only child? So that would mean his wife, my daughter had a baby and didn't even bother to call her own mother? But that wouldn't be right, my daughter would have told me right?"

I didn't answer not at first.

"Olivia Carolyn Pope, I asked you a question."

It was like I was five years old aging and she caught me eating out of the cookie jar.

I didn't know what to say then and I don't know what to say now.

"I did not have a baby mom." Not a lie, yet not the truth.

"Then what was that old hag talking about?" She had no filter.

"Mom I am going to hang up if you keep acting this way." I glanced at the clock hoping Fitz would save me from this.

"Fine, who is Lilly?" A simple yet so complicated question.

"I didn't have a baby, Fitz has a daughter. Well I didn't have a baby but I have one now." I knew I was making no sense but I would say anything to postpone this conversation until Fitz showed up.

"What the hell are you saying. Do you or do you not have a daughter?" She was telling now.

"Yes" I whispered, I wasn't ashamed of Lily whatsoever. I loved her and never think of her as something other than my daughter.

"I want you here for dinner at eight. You have a lot of explains to do."

"Mom we can't-" I started but quickly was silenced.

"Don't give me an excuse I want your ass here tonight bring Fitz and the child."

I couldn't argue with her and she knew it.

"Yes ma'am."

"Hey Fitz, HI LILLY!" Baby ran to Lilly and enveloped her in a hug.

"Auntie Abby! I missed you." I watched as the two have each other kisses and big hugs. Lilly filled her in on the fish and of course the news.

Mellie was right she loved the news.

"We are here to se mommy!" Lilly was still screaming.

"Really!"

Correction they were both screaming.

"We brought her lunch and flowers and chocolate. Do you think she will like it?"

I watched the two talk.

Abby assured her Liv would love the presents.

It was a wonder how Abby didn't have kids yet. She always had that instinct and I know she has always wanted them. She is great with Lilly. They really love each other and they instantly kicked it off.

"We better take you to your mom before the food gets cold." Abby placed her on the ground and grabbed her hand.

Before long we were standing outside of Liv's office door.

I could hear her sobs behind the closed door, apparently so could Abby because she suggested that Lilly and her go and see Stephan.

"Will you wait to give mommy her presents?" Lilly asked oblivious to what was happening.

"Of course bug." I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and waited until she was down the hall before opening the door.

I want t aware of his presence until I felt his arms wrap around my body.

"What's wrong baby?" He asked, concern etched i to his voice I didn't need to look at his face to know that concern was evident ther as well.

"My mom knows." I didn't have to say anything else he understood. His grin got tighter around me and he just held me as I cried.

After a few minutes he softly demanded "look at me"

We wouldn't be Olivia and Fitz if I listened to him.

He repeated himself but still I didn't move.

I felt the familiar feeling of his finger softly lifting my chin up.

I met his eyes, his eyes spoke more than his mouth did. I hated what I saw in them. Regret, Remorse and empathy.

"Don't do that." I pulled myself out of his hold.

"Don't do what?" His eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

I need space between us, without words I walked over to the window. Once I felt the cool glass on my back I spoke.

"Don't start to feel bad for me. This isn't your fault, you couldn't have known. I love her Fitz, She is my daughter. I knew what I was getting into. I am so tired of having to explain this to everyone. You don't get to regret sharing her with me. I can't handle explaining all of this to you too. I shouldn't have to. I married you and all your baggage, just like you did with me. It's my job to take this too. I am handling it. So please just stop felling sorry for me." I wasn't aware of the tears that were flowing freely down my face. I knew my words were hurting him I could tell by the expression on his face.

He didn't speak, he didn't move, he hardly even blinked.

I put my head in my hands and cried, normally I wouldn't be this upset. We didn't tell my mom about Lilly because she is well her. We aren't close, we have never been close. When I got pregnant it was like something finally clicked. Then I lost the baby and we became strangers again. I decided then that I didn't need a mom or any part of that family.

I had a family and his name was Fitzgerald.

"You shouldn't have too" he mumbled.

I looked up to him as he approached my corner, my hands went up in defense but that didn't stop him from invading my personal space.

He wasn't touching me but he was close enough that I could feel his breath on me.

"I don't want her to be baggage. I am so in love with you Olivia that it hurts. I feel like I don't know who I am without you. You are a piece of me. When you re gone I feel empty. I don't know how to do life without you and I wouldn't want too, but Liv I can't do this. Lilly loves you so much and she needs both of us. Not for one second do I regret her coming into our lives. I regret you not being ready. This happened so fast and you needed time to adjust, after everything that happened." He stopped for a moment, the memories carried to much pain.

"I can't see you like that again, it almost broke me."

He let a couple tears fall from his eyes before he took a deep breathe and stepped back.

"So I am giving you a serious out. I lived without you once, I wouldn't want to do it again but if that's what you want then its yours. I just want you to be happy. I want you to be the carefree girl who blares music in the car and hangs her feet out the window. I want my old Livvie back. Your happiness is the only thing I have very cared about. I don't regret Lilly knowing you, I regret me not being enough for you, when you so desperately needed me to be."

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. and he just looked t me.

"Fitz I can't be that girl."

"Okay." he was hurt beyond words. He turned to go to the door.

"I want this." he stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me. A glint of hope in his eyes.

"I want you. I love you and I love Lilly. You guys ae my family. I need you and you have always been enough. Always. I fell down on the job and I let you down." he went to speak but I cut him off.

I smiled at him "You are the world greatest husband. I don't know how you do all of this. I am falling apart and you are perfect as ever." I approached him this time.

"I don't have it together. I am a fucking mess. Lilly asked me about Mellie today and my first instinct was to call you. I don't know what the hell I am doing, you making everything easier. We are the perfect team. I am so glad you didn't take the out because if you did I would have been a fucking mess. More than I already am."

My hands found his.

"When my mother called I prayed that you would come in and tell me what to say. You always know how to handle her. We have to go to dinner with her tonight so you have to be the mediator"

His face was tearstained, his normal piercing blue eyes were bloodshot and his lips looked hella kissable.

He was talking but I was no longer paying attention. I just wanted to be closer to him.

My lips touched his, softly at first but then it was like a fire was lit inside of me. I kissed him harder and more desperate. I needed him to know that leaving was never and will never be an option for me. I poured all the feelings that I kept inside into the kiss.

When air became necessary he was the first to pull back. our foreheads stayed connected and our eyes closed.

"Lilly isn't baggage." I whispered

I felt him smile and I opened my eyes to confirm my suspicion.

"You weren't thinking about our daughter while you were kissing me right?" His smile was contagious and before I new it I was joining in on his banter.

I playfully hit his shoulder. "No, Fitz I wasn't."

I walked to the door and outstretched my hand he gladly accepted. "Can we go and get my pumpkin now, I miss her."

"Yes ma'am"

We had our lunch later then intended and that was okay. Lilly offered me a snicker which I hate so I gave it to her and she had a sinister smile on her face. Fitz showed me more attention and love then I felt like I deserved after the stunt I pulled with him. Which I regretted. I enjoyed this time with my little family because only god knows how tonight will go. This was me happy, this was my dream. I needed to remind myself of that more often. This is home.