Lilly's POV
Mommy and daddy have been fighting.
They pretend to be normal around me but I can tell.
Mommy doesn't smile as bright when daddy talks anymore.
They don't even talk.
I don't like it.
"Hey bug, Mommy is gonna drop you off at grandmas today." Daddy smiled at me but it wasn't a real smile, it didn't reach his eyes.
"No bug i'm not Daddy is taking you because I am already late." This was one of the cases where they didn't talk to each other.
They were talking to me like I was a telephone.
Daddy slammed the dishes in the sink making me jump.
"Of course you are to busy." He had an angry look on his face and it made me sad.
But I didn't cry because if I cried it would only make it worse.
"Sorry Fitzgerald that I have a job and I am not some stay at home mom. I'm sure there is some girl out there that would be more than happy to be your F-U-C-K-I-N-G trophy wife." now mommy had an angry look.
I sat at the table pretending not to notice. I was good at the pretending.
I knew mommy was spelling bad words but I didn't let them know that either.
"Just go Olivia, I'll handle it like I handle everything." He whispered the last part but I'm pretty sure mommy heard it because she rolled her eyes and stomped over to me.
She plastered a fake smile on her face and gave me a big kiss and lots of hugs.
"Bye baby I love you."
"You haven't eaten breakfast yet." I watched mommy glance at daddy who pretended to not hear me.
"I will grab something at work but I have to go." she gave my nose one last kiss before she stood to leave.
"Daddy say bye bye." I knew I was walking on a very thin line but we did it every morning and it would be weird if they didn't say bye.
"Bye." he spat it out and I felt sad.
She said bye with the same tone before slamming the door.
Daddy said bad words under his breathe and I made myself busy with the eggs on my plate.
A little while later he put me in the car and we drove to my grandmas house.
Daddy played my favorite Disney's songs but I wasn't in a Disney mood.
"Can we turn the radio off?" I asked nicely.
He turned the music down and glanced back at me.
"Everything okay with you pumpkin."
I didn't want to tell him that I knew he was sleeping on the couch or that I didn't like when he was mean to mommy.
"Yeah" I lied instead.
he seemed to accept that answer because we sat in silence the rest of the way to grandmas house.
He let me out and I said a quick hi to grandma before going to the tv room.
I felt like the adults needed time to talk.
Fitz's Pov
"Will you let me know if you see a change in Lilly. She has been acting strange lately." I handed her the diaper bag off my shoulder and she directed me into the kitchen.
"Do you think she is sick?" she went to the fridge and grabbed a pitcher.
"No I think she is picking up on the tension at the house." She handed me a glass of water.
"Why is there tension? Everything all right?"
I checked my watch "I really should get going".
She placed her soft hand on my cheek and rubbed her thumb from the bottom of my eye down to the tip of my lips. It was something she used to do when I was a kid.
"Tell me what's wrong baby."
"She doesn't want kids. She said she is done that Lilly is it for us. She wants every thing on her terms. The way she wants it done and if it isn't done that way then she gives up. She is constantly giving up and before it was fine because I would pick up the slack but I won't do it anymore. I can't. She is giving up and I don't have the energy to make her stay."
She was quiet for a second.
"Well do you blame her? That girl has been through things that most people could never handle. She is trying I'm sure. Even the strong get broken and need help. She has always need that push, she is scared of commitment. With parents like hers its really no wonder. She is scared and emotionally and physically she is messed up. She needs your help not you to give up on her too."
My mother has always been team Olivia. Always has been and always will be. She is a die had Livvie fan.
"I don't get to have feelings on anything I have always put her first. I didn't get the time to grieve for myself. She isn't the only one who lost something. She gives up on me on Lilly and the second I start to even think about I get the cold shoulder. Double standards much?" I knew my tone was a bit rough especially directed towards my mother but I needed her to see my side not just Olivia's.
"Fitzgerald, life is hard and uncertain at times. you of all people know that. But you and Olivia have something most will never find. You both are crazy about each other. That love will always be there, but if this is what you want then i am on your side. Leaving her won't change anything. It will only make your life harder."
I had never once thought about leaving Olivia. She was my other half. My beating heat outside of my chest. The love of my life.
"I am not going to leave her." I said quietly before taking a sip of water.
"I don't want you to loose yourself. Deep down you are still my baby. Just if you stay mke sure you are staying gor the right reasons." I gave her a kiss on the cheek and decided to leave.
She had given me a lot to think about.
Olivia's Pov
"Hey Liv your patient in 203 coted last night." I jumped from my spot on the couch in my office.
"Woah sorry I didn't mean to scare you." She put her hands up in a sort of apologetic way.
"You're fine." I ran my hand through my hair and suddenly had this seek feeling in my stomach.
Abby must have seen the color change in my face because seconds later she had grabbed the trash can that resided next to my desk and had it propped in font of my face just in time.
I couldn't stop the breakfast from flying out of my mouth. Abby held my hair back and kept the trash can steady as I heaved all the contents of my stomach into the black can before me.
"You okay?" Abby whispered rubbing my back in a familiar attentive way.
I wiped my mouth over the sleeve of my lab coat.
"I don't know anymore." The tears began to flow freely down my face. I tried to stop them but everything was so hard.
"I can't keep pretending to be this person I'm not. Oh god Abby, I've fucked up my whole life. I wanted the perfect life. The Job, the house, the husband and the kids. I tried so hard to have it Abby." I grabbed her arm and suddenly it was hard for me to breathe.
"I love him."
"I know Liv."
I shook my head abruptly and hard.
"but I don't have it together." I finished.
She pulled my head into her chest and I cried harder than I should have.
"You don't always have to have it together Olivia."
Lilly's POV
Grandma let me make cookies. I guess she could tell I was sad.
"Hey bug you wanna tell me what's on your mind?"
I was putting the cookies on the sheet but she was staring at me really hard, I knew it was only a matter of time before she brought up whatever it was that her and daddy were talking about this morning.
"I want Mommy and daddy to stop fighting." I thought it was a simple enough request.
She grabbed the cookie sheet from in front of me and put it in the oven.
"Lilly baby people who love each other a fight."
"Do you know why they fight?" I met her pretty eyes.
They were green, which was weird because me and daddy have blue eyes.
"I'm don't know." She was lying.
She got this wrinkle in her forehead when she lied, just like daddy.
"I know." I waited for a minute before I spoke again.
"Daddy wants a baby but mommy doesn't. Mommy says that I am enough but dad thinks that they need to have a baby together."
Grandma gave me a look.
"What? the walls are thin." I shrugged.
"I don't know why daddy needs mommy to want another baby. If my baby died then I would never want another baby ever again. Daddy blames mommy for the baby dying. I don't understand that part. How is it mommy's fault?"
I didn't understand that. Like at all.
Mommy saves kids all day long at work. Mommy doesn't kill them? she gets sad when a person dies. So why would Daddy think Mommy did this on purpose. These were the questions going through my head but I was just a kid. No one really cared what I thought.
I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't going to answer the question.
That was okay, no one ever took me seriously.
Fitz's POV
Today has been long and I was grateful to be home. I sent my mother a quick text telling her I would run bye and grab Lilly before dinner. Olivia wouldn't be home for a few more hours. So I could get a nice nap in my bed before she came in and I was kicked back down to the uncomfortable couch.
I left my briefcase in the hallway and dragged my tired body up the flight of stairs and into my bedroom. I stripped out of my suit until I was left in just my boxers. The bed looked soft and welcoming. I sank myself into the bed and quickly fell asleep.
I was sleeping the best I had in over a week.
That was until I heard the retching noise.
I blinked the sleep away a couple of times before I could read the clock sitting on my nightstand.
4:28
I heard the sound again and I winced. Someone was throwing up except from the sound of it they didn't have anything left in there stomach to throw up.
I got out of the bed and went to the bathroom door. I presumed that's where the noise was coming from. Olivia shouldn't be home. She was never home before dark.
I knocked on the door lightly, "Olivia?" she would be the only person in our bathroom, regardless of the time.
"Go away" her voice was muffled and I could tell her head was once again I the toilet. My sucpions were confirmed when I heard her heaving again.
I ignored her demand and opened the door. She was crouched down, still wearing her lab coat and scrubs, with her head inside the toilet.
"I said to go away Fitz." she didn't move to look at me but I could tell by the tone in her voice that she was pissed but trying not to cry.
Olivia was the biggest baby when she was sick. It wasn't her fault she was just rarely sick so on the very strange occurrence when it did happen she doesn't know how to react.
I crouched down next to her and rubbed her back.
"I know what you said but I am still your husband. So I am going to sit right here until you think you are done. Then I am going to carry you to the bed. Because Olivia you are the love of my life no matter if we fight. I am always going to be her for you. We are in this together, forever."
I rubbed her back.
"Okay" she mumbled into the toilet.
"How long have you been home?" i asked rubbing her back with just the right amount of pressure.
"A few hours, I heard you come in I just didn't have enough energy to say anything."
"How long have you been throwing up?"
She moved the hair out of her face and I saw the tears pulling in her eyes.
"All day, but it feels familiar." She must have saw the confusion on my face because she continued.
"This is what it was like when I was pregnant Fitz." She started to cry hard and I just tried to wrap my head around everything she was saying.
"Liv I don't know what to say." I really didn't I felt the smile pulling at my cheeks.
"Stop smiling this is exactly what you wanted. Just get away from me." She pushed me with her hand but she was so weak that I didn't go far.
"Liv-"
"Seriously Fitzgerald get away from me before I rip you in half." She was being serious but I couldn't leave her on the floor of the bathroom.
I grabbed her from her spot on the floor carefully.
"Fitz seriously stop" She fought me the whole way to our bed.
I laid her down and puled the blankets over her tiny form.
She was still crying and screaming for me to go away.
"I will go but just stay in bed and if you need me text me. I am going to pick up Lilly."
She didn't say anything until I was right about to leave which was the usual for her.
"Fitz I really cant do this. I cant have a baby." She made it sound so final.
Which made me mad.
"What are you saying Olivia?" I questioned her, my voice raising again.
"I don't want to do this." she was sitting up at this point, tears falling freely from her eyes.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"I mean if I am right, if I am pregnant then I want an abortion."
Do you guys think she could be pregnant?! I know it has been a hot minute since I have updated either of my stories and I am super sorry about that. Life gets in the way. Anyhoo hope you enjoyed! I know this chapter was all over the place but I wouldn't to play with each persons point of view. Until next time ~ D