Up ahead, there were three paths, one blocked by guards that they would need to avoid at all costs, one leading to what looked like a river, somehow unaffected by the lave around, upon which a boat with a shadowy figure stood. Definitely not something they were looking to tangle with at the moment. Which left only one option, the large white building labeled "LAB"
"Chara, I-"
"Forget it, Frisk. We both said and did things we regret, best to just move on."
Frisk didn't like the idea of just leaving things in a bad spot, but they figured it was better to do as Chara said.
"Okay, you're right."
They walked towards the lab's metal door, which automatically opened for them. As they stepped in, they noticed the place was rather dark, everything was visible, but just barely. Then, they saw a large computer, with a monitor that was showing a zoomed in live feed of themself.
"Frisk, I don't like this."
"Yeah, me neither, let's be care-"
A door somewhere ahead opened loudly. Before they had a chance to react, the lights turned on, allowing them to see a yellow lizard monster in a lab coat, hunched over with thick glasses. She turned towards them and her eyes bulged.
"Oh. My. God."
She began to fidget, looking in every direction as she struggled to grapple with the sight in front of them.
"I-i wasn't expecting you so soon! I haven't showered, I'm barely dressed, this place is a mess and, and…" She began to calm down and stop her rambling.
"Ummm… H-hiya! I'm Dr. Alphys! I'm Asgore's Royal Scientist!"
"What? This anxious dinosaur is the Royal Scientist? What happened to Gaster?"
"Who's 'Gaster'?"
"Tell you later, just some creepy skel- Oh god."
Suddenly Frisk felt Chara get really scared and worried.
"Skeleton, like Sans?"
"Mmhmm."
Alphys continued, ripping the attention of both back to the present.
"B-b-but I'm not one of the bad guys! Actually, ever since you've stepped out of the ruins, I've been observing your progress!"
"Creepy."
"Agreed."
"Wait, was she the camera we saw on our way out of the ruins?"
"Oh yeah, she would have to be!"
"Your fights, your friendships, everything! Originally I was going to stop you, but, well, watching someone on a screen really makes you root for them, y'know? S-so, now I wanna help you!"
"I swear, if she tries to start following us around just so she can be a sidekick, I'm going to lose it."
"Using my knowledge, I can help guide you through Hotland! I know a way straight to Asgore's castle, I can get you there no problem!"
"Sounds suspicious to me, Frisk."
"Well, actually, there is one TINY issue."
"There it is."
"A long time ago, I made a robot named Mettaton. Originally, I built him to be an entertainment robot, uh, you know, like a robotic TV star, or something."
"Hmm, that's interesting."
"Yeah, sure, but what does that have to do with us?"
"Anyway, recently I decided to try and make him more useful. You know, some small, practical, adjustments. Like… um, anti… anti-human combat features?" She winced as she said it, worried about Frisk's reaction, but Frisk was stoic as always. Internally, however, it was a different story.
"WHAT THE HELL, A-a, um, WHATEVER YOUR NAME WAS!?"
"Alphys."
"YEAH, THAT!"
"Come on Chara, you know how it works, down here, everyone's been kinda focused on killing some humans, this isn't really her fault."
"Hmph. I suppose."
Chara defused, she continued.
"O-of course, when I saw you coming, I went, 'I have to deactivate those features.'"
"See, nothing to worry about."
"Unfortunately, I may have made a teensy mistake doing so. And um, now he's an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood?" She nervously chuckled.
Chara screamed and broke things in Frisk's mind.
"WHY IS NOTHING ALLOWED TO BE EASY!? WHY!?"
"Why do I talk? I just curse myself."
"But, uh, hopefully we won't run into him!"
Suddenly, a loud thud shook the whole lab.
"Oh, good to know I'm not the only one whose words are cursed to bring about the thing they don't want to happen."
"Oh no." The lights went out, and an exaggerated friendly voice boomed in the darkness.
"OH YEEEEEESSSS! WELCOME, BEAUTIES!"
A spotlight clicked to life, shining about 10 feet away from them on this, "Mettaton." He looked like a flat metal cereal box, balancing on one wheel, adorned with a grid of buttons and a row of knobs, with lanky arms tipped with white gloved hands.
"TO TODAY'S QUIZ SHOW!" Disco lights descended from the ceiling, as well as a banner saying GAME SHOW in bright pink and red lights, and multi-colored confetti. The sound of clapping and a lively musical track began, heralding the beginning of the end.
"Wait, quiz show?"
"Well, Alphys did mention he was an entertainment robot. I guess this is what she meant?"
"But what about the killing part?"
"OH BOY, I CAN ALREADY TELL THIS IS GOING TO BE A GREAT SHOW! EVERYONE GIVE A BIG HAND FOR OUR CONTESTANT!" Louder clapping ensued, as well as clanking as Mettaton joined in.
"NEVER PLAYED BEFORE GORGEOUS? NO PROBLEM! IT'S SIMPLE! THERE'S ONLY ONE RULE!" He said, lifting one finger and wagging it tauntingly.
"ANSWER CORRECTLY, OR YOU DIE!" Then started to maniacally laugh, waving his hands around with a mechanical whirl.
"Ah, there it is."
From Mettaton's chest projected a holographic board, marked with 4 spots for A, B, C, and D, as Mettaton pulled out flash cards with questions and answers on them. Alphys stood to the side, looking very nervous and holding your own hands.
"WHAT IS THE PRIZE FOR ANSWERING CORRECTLY!?"
Frisk was about to choose D for "More Questions," but then noticed that Alphys was also using those hands to make the shape of a D, even mouthing it. Frisk nodded subtly to let her know they understood.
"I'll give her this, she's clearly trying to help. Still, I don't trust her."
"Why?" Frisk asked while pointing to D as their final answer.
"Don't know, just, something about her, and this whole scenario. Just, something's off."
"Nah, you're just paranoid."
"Hmm. Maybe." Chara clearly wasn't convinced, but Mettaton had finished the fanfare for the first question and started to move on.
The next few questions were relatively easy, but Alphys still eagerly helped with her hints. Eventually, the questions started to grow a bit more ridiculous, including an extremely difficult math problem that thankfully Alphys knew the answer to. Frisk hesitated only a moment, not sure about her answer, but knowing they couldn't do any better, so they went for it. One question gave more than a little bit of pause.
"LET'S PLAY A MEMORY GAME!"
The hologram clearly showed half of a Froggit, from the Ruins, but Alphys insisted the answer was Mettaton.
"Chara, what do I do? I mean, she's answered some pretty impossible things, should I go with her?"
"I don't think so. Follow your instincts."
Frisk was paralyzed by indecision but as time ticked down decided to follow Chara and pointed to Froggit.
Mettaton suddenly zapped Frisk from one of his gloved fingers, causing some intense pain. The image pulled back to show it was Mettaton wearing a Froggit shirt. Both children were very much not entertained by this little trick.
"BOY, THAT'S EMBARRASSING, ISN'T IT?"
After a quick question about kissing a ghost with all four answers being Heck Yeah, confusing the pair, another impossible question followed, as it asked how many letters were in the name Mettaton, but with an infinite number of n's adding to the end. Once again faced with no better option, Frisk went with Alphys, and was right.
"How on Earth does she know that!?"
"Don't know, don't care. As long as it gets us through this."
Unfortunately, the act wouldn't hold up much longer.
"IN THE DATING SIMULATOR GAME MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE WHAT IS MEW MEW'S FAVORITE FOOD!?"
Alphys threw a hand into the air, overwhelmed with excitement before going on a rambling description of snail ice cream, and character analysis, and spoilers, and much more that Frisk started to tune out.
"ALPHYS, ALPHYS, ALPHYS. YOU AREN'T HELPING OUR CONTESTANT ARE YOU?"
She sheepishly shook her head, but not a soul alive believed her.
"OOOOOOHH, YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME! I'LL ASK A QUESTION YOU'LL BE SURE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO!" The tone he took near the end was rather frightening.
"WHO DOES DR. ALPHYS HAVE A CRUSH ON?" The answers boiled down to Undyne, Asgore, the Human, and Don't Know.
"Okay, so don't know?"
"Now, hold on. Think about what we know of Mettaton, that answer will NOT go well. We have to pick one of the others. There's no timer, so let's take a second."
"Good idea. Okay, so not much for Asgore, seems like as Royal Scientist she just wants to impress her boss."
"Yes, my… I-i mean, the King, would never be interested in her." Frisk caught the misstep, and the uncertain tone, but knew now was not the time.
"When it comes to Undyne, I don't even know why it's an option."
"Which leaves…"
Frisk glanced at the final option and shivered a little.
"What's wrong?"
"I just, I dunno, I don't want to think that someone might have a crush on me, especially down here."
"Why not?"
"I don't know! It's just weird. I don't like it." Frisk was clearly flustered, embarrassed even
"You've literally flirted with half the Underground, even went on a date with some goofy, guard wannabe, skeleton!"
"I know, I know! It's just weird when someone else starts it, I guess."
"But she HAS been watching you, and rooting for you."
"That's true."
Frisk paused, then something clicked.
"Wait wait wait. Undyne had said something about Alphys, remember?"
"Yeah, why does that matter?"
"Well think about it, Undyne wouldn't have to see Alphys like Asgore, in fact, she would have to suffer through making her way to Hotland. For Alphys to 'teach' whatever kind of nonsense she had about human history, they would have to meet. I think that one has something to it."
"Oh come on, you just don't want it to be you!"
"Probably true, but I don't care!"
Frisk decisively pointed towards Undyne, immediately causing Alphys to blush and cower.
"SEE ALPHYS, IT'S SO OBVIOUS EVEN THE HUMAN NOTICED!"
"See Chara, I just have a sense for r-r-r-romance!" They said, rolling their tongue dramatically.
"Lucky guess."
"Yuh-huh!"
"WELL WELL WELL, SEEING AS DR. ALPHYS IS HELPING YOU, THE SHOW HAS NO DRAMATIC TENSION! WE CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS! BUT! BUT! THIS WAS ONLY THE PILOT EPISODE! NEXT UP, MORE DRAMA! MORE ROMANCE! MORE BLOODSHED! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLINGS!" Mettaton's limbs retracted, before propelling himself through the air with a rocket booster under his rectangular frame.
There was silence for many moments.
"Um. Please forget that. We can move on now."
"Perhaps we should."
"I think we should."
"Then should we shall."