Nothing was fitting.

Not the dress.

Not the pants or the skirt.

And God knows I couldn't even try to fit my ass in those jeans.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I was fresh out of the shower standing naked in our closet trying to find something to wear to my doctor's appointment. Today I am officially seven months pregnant and believe me you could tell.

My stomach was huge and I was afraid it couldn't get any bigger, but I've been saying that since month three. I looked like a whale, my boobs are huge and tender, my thighs are thicker than usual and my stomach enters a room several minutes before the rest of me.

I look disgusting. That thought brought tears to my eyes. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones or maybe its because i am actually gross. Even my husband won't touch me anymore. I let the tears fall from my eyes at a rapid pace.

I hate being pregnant.

Fitz Pov

When I left the house this morning Olivia was in the shower. I told her I would drop Lilly off at my mothers and would meet her at the doctor's office for her checkup. I smiled to myself, we made it this far, SHE made it this far.

We had the cerlage and it really seems to be working. When she was pregnant with Teddy she made it to eight months, so we are still on edge. I am so happy we are making these huge milestones though.

The thought of Olivia made me miss her. I missed my wife. So I decided to call her just to say Hi.

I grabbed my pocket.

Empty.

I checked the cup holders of the car.

Empty.

"Son of a bitch" I huffed out realizing I had left the phone charging on the nightstand in our bedroom.

I turned the car around and went back towards home. Luckily, I wasn't too far away and reached home in about ten minutes. Still not happy at the fact I was this careless and now I was going to be late to the doctor's appointment. I pulled into the driveway and left the car there instead of parking it in the garage like I usually would. I left the keys in the ignition and ran to the door.

I heard the loud sobs the second I opened the door.

My heart beats faster.

My throat suddenly became dry and I was unable to swallow.

I tried to move, but my feet would not lift off the ground. I was frozen in place. I knew I should be running up the stairs. Any man in their right mind would be up those stairs in two seconds flat. Any good husband would have already been up there by his wife's side. So why couldn't I move?

The last time I came home to Olivia crying hysterically was when we lost Teddy. I never realized how that day has controlled my life. I needed to be there for Olivia. I tried not to let my mind wander to the possibility of her miscarrying. God would be cruel to let her carry this far along only to lose the baby again.

I had stood there long enough.

Regardless of my own emotions and how scared I was, Olivia needed me. She would be even more scared than I. Before my brain could make a conscious decision my feet were moving up the stairs. The heartbreaking sounds led me to the closest.

I only took a second to brace myself before slowly pushing the door open. The site before me broke my heart. Olivia was curled up, naked, in a ball on the floor. Her knees were tucked as close as her belly would let her into her chest and she was gasping for air. Her back was to me, so I knew she wasn't aware of my presence, at least not yet. I watched her for a second making sure there was no immediate threat. When the sight became to much to bare I decided to make and advancement towards her.

"Livvie?" I watched as her body became tense and she began wiping at her eyes.

"uhh..what are you doing home?" Her voice suddenly became a mask to what she was feeling. Had I not witnessed with my own eyes her crying, I would have never known.

"Don't" I pleaded. She met my eyes fro a brief second before standing and throwing on one of my my old t-shirts. "I'm fine Fitz" she spoke softly but commanding. That was her leave it alone tone. I couldn't leave it alone, how could I? "Olivia please don't...don't do that" I made my way to wear she was standing and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her as close as the baby bump would allow.

"Don't put your guard up. Don't push me away. Tell me what is wrong so we can work through it together. Okay?"

Olivia's Pov

He was saying all the right things and before long my walls came tumbling down and I was sobbing into his shirt.

"Hey, it's okay, you're gonna be okay" he laid his head on top of mine and whispered sweet assuring things in my ears. I felt like we had been standing there for a year before i finally began to pull away. Surprisingly he let me go when I pulled against his embrace.

I could feel his eyes on me as I moved around the closest. I decided on a pair of sweatpants and his old shirt. "Are you gonna tell me what happened?" he whispered while pulling at his hands and avoiding eye contact.

I learned that when we started dating. When he is nervous he pulls at his fingers, a trait that Lilly had picked up on. In Melody's suicide letter she said Fitz did not have a tell, no matter how hard she looked. I couldn't help but think maybe he was never nervous with her. Surely she would have noticed the hand picking. I hated the thought that he didn't make him nervous but I did.

"Did you ever get nervous with Mellie?" the words came rushing out of my mouth before I could stop them. I saw the confusion cover his perfect face, "what?" his eyebrows crunched together and created the divot I love so much.

"She said you didn't have a tell, that the way she found you was because of me.I have known you for three years and you have always done that" I said pointing to his fingers.

Embarrassment crept into his cheeks creating a rosy glimmer to his face. "I.. uh" he muttered out. "She never gave me a reason to be nervous" He said quietly suddenly ashamed.

"I'm sorry. If i knew you were gonna come back, I wouldn't have... I would have left." our eyes never left each other's and i could see the embarrassment replaced with hurt.

"Don't apologize for showing your emotions. I wish you could just let me in. I have tried for the past three years, to be the best boyfriend, fiance and then husband. I feel like i am always falling short. It's like i can never win with you. Hell yeah you make me nervous. In the middle of the night when i lie awake and see you laying next to me i get scared. Scared that one day this could all be gone. That one day i won't be able to wake up to you. I get scared when we are walking in the mall and some guy stares to long at you. Some guy who could offer you, simplicity. I am scared that some knight in shiny armor is going to come in here and realize how far out of my league you are. I worry every time you are home alone that something bad could happen. Above all else i worry that at some point in this dream the rug is going to be pulled out from under us and we are gonna lose this baby. I know you and i know me, we wouldn't make. Our love is strong but it isn't strong enough to go through that again. i'm scared we won't make it. We won't get our dream. So no, Mellie never made me nervous, but she wasn't my heart outside of my chest, my whole world wasn't controlled by her feelings. I didn't love her and I've never loved anyone the way i love you."

"You think I could find someone better?" I smiled through the tears that were threatening to pill down my cheeks.

He smiled at the playfulness in my voice.

"Have you seen yourself? Baby bump and all, you are soooo out of my league. You could have so much better."

I guided myself back into his arms and hugged him. Tighter than I should have but I need to feel him close. i needed my senses to be invaded by him.

My gaze met his eyes, his eyes were different in moments like these, they were softer than i knew eyes to ever be. His eyes showed me into his heart, he was a man who loved deeply. If it were anyone else i would have dropped my gaze, but with him i am drawn closer, always wanting more. Then he said the words he didn't even know i needed to hear. "We're okay, you and me, we are gonna be fine." I just nodded wanting to take this moment in and remember it forever. In this whole world there isn't another like him. Of course i couldn't find anyone greater than him and i told him just that.

"I wont find someone better by leaving the best." I reassured before placing my lips softly on his.

"I. Love. You. More. Than. You. Could. Ever. Know." Each word i said was punctuated with a feather soft kiss.

"I'm not going anywhere, your'e stuck with me. Okay?" i whispered as our forehead remained touching. His hands slid around to my back and held me.

We both knew we needed a minute. No words exchanged just us. Our worlds colliding for the millionth time since we met. Both completely at peace in the others embrace.

We are going to do this.

We are going to get our dream.

We both found excitement in that.

I am so sorry i have been MIA! College is kissing my ass. I have been watching scandal in my free time and was inspired. I promise to update the other stories soon. As always i hope you enjoy.

XOXO ~ Danni