Chapter 4 - Skin and Bones

Toby's POV

JT told me that he liked me. And I walked away. Why? Because I didn't believe him. How could someone as perfect as him like someone like me?

And I fainted out there as well. I don't care, it has to work. Just starve me if it works.

"Toby, I just got a call from the counselors office, they want you to come down." Just as he said that, JT walked in and looked at me. I hope he didn't do what I think he did.

"Okay." I respond, it's not like I have a choice. I get up and walk out the door, and I feel JT staring at me the whole time.

I walk down to the counselors office, ignoring my blurry vision. I walk in and see my dad, mom, and Kate all sitting in front of the counselor.

"What's this about?" I ask. Now it's for sure that JT told the counselor what I've been doing. Why does he not want me to be skinny?

"Toby, we got a call from the counselor saying you've been starving yourself and purging. Is this true?" Dad looks at me, and I can see the concern in his eyes. Yeah, it hurt like hell, but it works.

"And who told you that?" Just deny everything.

"Your friend, JT, did. And I saw you faint. He told me everything. There's no use denying it, we know it's true. We want to help you." She then starts going on about how this isn't healthy, and I could seriously die. But I don't care.

"Why are you trying to stop me from being skinny and happy?" I yell at them and walk out, but they all get up and follow me.

"Toby, please. Do you really think doing this will help? You're already amazing the way you are!" Mom grabs my arm to keep me from walking off.

"Toby, if you don't start eating normally then we'll have no choice but to put you in therapy. And if that doesn't work, a mental institute." Dad says, and that really gets me. Damn them. Now they're really going to stop me.

"I can't! Every time I try to eat, my body won't let me! I had to force it down the last few days, and it all ended up in the toilet!And I only ate because JT wanted me too! But I don't care!" I detach my arm from my moms grip.

"Think about how this would affect JT. People die from doing what you're doing, Toby. Think about how this would affect your parents, your friends, and JT. Do you really want that?" The counselor asks. No. I don't. I don't wanna die. I don't wanna hurt anyone. I just wanted to be thin.

"I'm not gonna die, okay!"

"I know you're not. Because we're going to get you counseling and you'll be okay. Why don't you go home for the rest of the day?" She responds, and something about that is comforting.

"I'll let JT come over after school. He really cares about you, Tobes." Dad says as he leads me out and back into the car.

We go back home, and they convince me to eat toast and an apple, they said we'll start small. I felt disgusting eating it and my stomach hurt, so I just went to my room to sleep.

When I woke up, it was to my dads voice telling me that JT was here and that he was sending him up. I groan and sit up, and he walks through the door, a smile on his face but concerned eyes.

"Hey, are you okay?" I just then remember he told me that he likes me. I have to find out if that's true.

"Did you mean what you said earlier? That you like me?" He turns red at that question, and slowly nods.

"I know you don't feel the same way, but I do like you. And I think you're perfect. I never thought of you as fat or ugly. I always thought you were amazing the way you are. Just being you. Okay I'll shut up now." I look at him for a second and think. Perfect. That's what I wanted to be but I never would be. Fat and ugly, he didn't think I was but that voice kept telling me I was. Amazing, that's what he thought.

No, he was amazing and perfect. And I liked him back, as much as I didn't want to admit it.

"JT, you're the perfect one." I get up from my bed and walk towards him. I reluctantly kiss his cheek, and he smiles at that. He's so cute.

"Wait, you like me back?" I nod in response. I glance down at this lips, and he sees what I'm looking at.

"Can I kiss you?" JT smirks as he realizes what I'm thinking about.

"Y-yeah. If you want." He leaned forward and kissed me, on the lips. This was much better than the time Kendra kissed me. This time, I felt fireworks. His lips were soft, and the kiss was gentle. It was perfect.

After a minute, he breaks apart and smiles at me. How did I deserve a heaven like JT Yorke?

"Does this mean we're a thing now?" He asks innocently.

"Of course, if you want." He pecks my lips again and grabs one of my hands.

"Promise me you'll start eating?" This would be a difficult thing to do, but I would try.

"JT...it's not easy. But I promise I'll try..." he nods, he might not completely understand, but he does care, and that's enough for me.

I lock the door

Turn all the water on

And bury that sound

So no one hears anything anymore

Mirror, lie to me, tell me you can see

Maybe you won't be able to recognize me now

I know you can feel all the things you steal

And you're taking and you're taking it

Feeling so easy, make me skin and bones

I'm always on my knees for you

Break it like it's even

When you're leaving and thin

Where the hell have you been?