Disclaimer: Again, I don't own anything or anybody except Tomoko, her family, and Nagareboshi Cafe. Any concepts/ideas mentioned in this fanfiction that seem to be borrowed from another media/piece of continuity - note that I don't mean to plagiarize anything or anybody in any way! This fanfic was made for entertainment purposes, not for pissing off others! So yeah!
The theme for this chapter is PelleK and Raon Lee's collaboration cover of Innocence, originally from Sword Art Online. Even if I enjoyed the Abridged series more than the original SAO, I can't deny that it has a presence and the openings sound amazing. Not to mention, the translated lyrics to the song fit perfectly with what I'm hoping to convey with this chapter. For those of you looking for a piano cover of the same song, I'll point you to Theishter—Anime on Piano's cover/transcription, since he covers the spirit of the song the best. For those looking for an English cover of the song, AmaLee's cover works perfectly, with her lyrics providing a different perspective on the story unfolding here. :)
On the other hand, for those searching for an alternative theme, with this chapter coming out in the beginning of 2018, I'll be pointing you to Kyle Landry's 2017 rendition of Dearly Beloved. Another year has come to an end, and with the quiet and beautiful tones of the new yearly rendition, I wanted to honor that.
Please enjoy!
Chapter 50: Changes, Better & Worse
An old friend from Vy's life had said that when starting a relationship, you should properly talk about what you might want and expect from your new partner as soon as possible. Rather than let assumptions grow into misunderstandings, they had said to lay your heart out, letting your partner know what was currently okay and not okay to do in the relationship, before moving slowly from there.
It sounded simple enough, but as Tomoko, I had more baggage than my past self. And besides—how was I supposed to start?
Telling Kakashi honestly about my status as a reincarnation seemed like a nice idea, if not for the whole situation being the biggest mind-blowing concept in existence.
Hi, Kakashi, I'm Tomoko, a girl who knew another version of you in a past life and died only to be reborn like this. How are you doing? Hisako had parroted sarcastically. No matter how you put it, that was not the best way to go about subtlety and confessions.
Don't get me wrong, I honestly really liked the idea of having a relationship with my best friend. With Kakashi. There was no other way I would've consented to kissing him otherwise.
But how could I tell him about Vy? About Leo?
…Well, that is, if I had a proper time to actually say something.
It started when Kakashi had come home that evening, only for the both of us to be approached by Uncle Sakumo. What made the situation all the more stranger was his uncharacteristic red face and the pamphlet in his right hand.
"S-so, kids," he coughed into his fist, unintentionally crushing the paper in his other hand. "I-I heard from Hikari that you two started pursuing something more th-than friendship, so it's about time that you learn what adults do when they get to a point in that new stage."
He raised the pamphlet in the air to fan himself, but it didn't make the red on his face recede more than how it was already doing—basically making him look like a very embarrassed dog.
Kakashi and I looked at each other before it dawned on us. Not to mention, the light glimpse I had of the paper's rather squished cover.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases and How to Avoid Them.
Oh dear lord.
…The Sex Talk? Really? Hisako deadpanned. Now? We have enough problems to deal with as is!
I averted my eyes while heat flooded to my face. I did not want to try reading Kakashi's expression right now, because the possible ideas were not ones I wanted to think about. Kissing was one thing. Sex was another. And from the sheer embarrassment or horror, I wasn't sure, but I still found myself fumbling with my hands in trying to form words. Nope, nope, nope, NOPE. "U-Uncle Sakumo, you don't have to! We kinda already know all of that!"
Thank god I'm here, huh? Hisako interjected sarcastically, a book twirling in the air over her hand.
Yes, Hisako, thank you very much.
Without even looking in his direction, I knew that Kakashi was giving me a "What-The-Fuck" look. Nonetheless, he cleared his throat. "D-Dad, we were just about to talk about that kind of stuff. I was already guessing that Tomoko wouldn't want to do that yet, and we're only 13. You don't have to worry about us getting ahead of ourselves."
Uncle Sakumo blinked before turning a darker shade of red. "O-Oh," he said, crushing the pamphlet into his fist, more intentionally this time from the looks of it. "So there was no need to put myself through this embarrassing stuff."
Someone coerced the former White Fang into giving us the Sex Talk? Hisako faked a gasp. Why, I wonder who that could be! We have a mystery on our hands, Tomoko-chan!
My first guess was Mama or Papa.
"…Sorry, Uncle Sakumo," I said immediately, holding back any urge to hug him.
"I-It's okay…" The former White Fang chuckled sheepishly before using both hands to crush the previously rectangular pamphlet into a ball and consequently tossing it into a nearby trash can. "That gives me an excuse to find Judai for some late-night training now." He rolled his eyes before waving at us. "Just remember to play it safe, kids!"
Yep, it was Papa.
Phooey, you ended it a bit too soon, dear.
Not really up for any Mystery Inc. stuff after averting that topic, Hisako.
…True, that. Sorry.
It's okay.
And with that left hanging in the air, Uncle Sakumo ran down the hallway, literally leaving us to take in his dust.
I took a breath to calm my heart and nerves.
"…That just happened, huh." Kakashi started.
And yep, Armageddon was still on or something, because the surprises for the day just wouldn't let up. I found myself yelping in surprise at being addressed, before turning around and witnessing Kakashi smile at me through his mask. "Just let me change from my gear and then we can talk, okay?"
Heat flooded my face for the umpteenth time today. "O-Okay then," I said softly. "T-Take your time."
Kakashi smiled again, that same masked gesture, before poking my forehead through my bangs, hard enough to make me take a step back and frown, and disappearing into his room.
I blinked, lightly touching my head with a hand. "…"
Tomoko-chan? Hisako's voice. Dear, don't just stand there. You look like a shy schoolgirl.
My face flooded with more red than before at the thought. Hisako laughed, but continued anyways. It might be better for you to busy yourself with something to calm the nerves. Maybe taking out the seating cushions and table in your room?
That was an idea. I could do that much and try not to look like I was nervous like all heck.
Okay, Hisako.
My other self beamed before lightly prodding me with a hand. Go on then.
So I did just that. Going into my room, trying not to slam the closet door open, and getting the things as Hisako instructed, minus the table because we were only going to talk, not really use it that much.
By the time the cushions/pillows were laid out, Kakashi was already standing in my doorway, dressed in a more casual sweatshirt and pants. "Hey," he said, mask still covering two-thirds of his face.
I looked up, only to make eye contact with that same silver eye, and found the heat flooding me all over again. Lub-dub, lub-dub. "H-Hi. You can come in now."
Kakashi hummed before doing so, and I didn't miss how he closed the door behind him, sticking a privacy seal on the wood. Once he sat down on the cushion in front of me, my heart started up all over again because of the lack of any distance.
Lubdub, lubdub, lubdub.
Ohmigosh, I am doomed.
Hisako bit back a laugh. I thought we established that already, Tomoko-chan.
Hisako…!
She continued to giggle to herself. Oh, Tomoko-chan, Kakashi's not going to bite you. Just go and talk to him. She paused. …I was not meaning to make that pun.
I immediately face-palmed, hard. It resulted in my eyes swirling, Hisako wincing from the shared-mind thing, and Kakashi blinking. "Tomoko?"
"S-Sorry, Kakashi," I shook my head to get all the sparkly dots out of my eyes, because astronomy was not the first thing I needed to see here. "J-Just trying to calm down…or something."
"Or something," Kakashi repeated, clearly disbelieving me judging by his tone. "Tomoko, is something wrong?"
Bullseye. Heat flooded my face again to the point where I covered it with my hands. "Aaaaah, I don't know how to start this! I-I know I l-like you too, but there's things going on and I don't know how to start talking about said things!"
A pause. "…Just talk," Kakashi said finally. "It's just me."
It's because it's you that I'm having trouble, y'know!
A longer pause followed before anything else was said. When the silence started to grow grating, I raised my head from my hands, only to blink at Kakashi's currently red face. Um, what? "I-Is there something wrong with me?" he continued, voice almost choked.
Oh shit. I just said that out loud, didn't I?
Hisako promptly started cackling.
"O-Oh, Kakashi, that's not what I meant!" With that squeak out of the way, I gave in and promptly jumped on him in a hug, not even waiting for a reaction before doing so. All I could catch was his wide eye before we promptly crashed onto the floor, and I couldn't help but be grateful that my room had softer tiles (if I could describe my floor that way), because Kakashi ended up bonking his head. Hard.
"Ow…" he muttered, before his hands wound around my waist. "Tomoko…"
"I-I'm sorry~!" I buried my burning red face into his shoulder in the hopes that he couldn't see. "It's just…it's because it's you and that I kinda l-love you too that this feels so awkward and embarrassing…! W-we've been best friends for a little over eight years now, so my heart being like this, beating hard and not letting up the entire time since this morning is both completely ridiculous and frustrating!"
He tensed underneath me before promptly sitting up, taking me with him before lightly pushing at my shoulder. "Tomoko," his voice sounded breathy, shocked almost. "Say that again."
"E-Eh?" I instinctively pulled away, only to make eye-contact with that same silver eye, and I could've sworn that something was glistening in the warm grey color. Oh god. He wanted me to repeat that?! "I-I…" I gulped, the air starting to feel hot all over again.
Oh my… Hisako snickered softly. Oh my.
"I-I love you too…?!" I choked out, finally feeling my heart leap into my throat.
Aaaaaah! Hisako squealed. Tomoko-chan has finally admitted it too! Even if she has before, but this is different! Yes! This is the best day of my life!
A memory-tiger (don't bother asking how it got there, with the way reincarnation worked mentally went hand-in-hand with weird, messed-up stuff, so that I don't even know anymore) was apparently wandering around just when my other self finished yelling all that, and found itself getting punched in the face for its trouble. Yeowch.
Kakashi's eye widened before softening into the same warm gaze from this morning, and it was all I could see before his mask came down and we were kissing. I didn't even have a chance to squeak, because his mouth was covering mine, and it felt so soft and whoa-this-is-actually-happening, so all I could do was close my eyes and try not to fidget. His hand had somehow wound up in my hair again, tugging at some of the strands while keeping me close, deepening the kiss without a word, and it took all I had to stay still and kiss back.
LUBDUB, LUBDUB, LUBDUB.
Only after a few moments did he pull back, and just by looking into his eye, I could tell that he was smiling. "You don't know how happy I am just to hear those words," Kakashi breathed softly, a thumb lightly brushing my bottom lip, and I found myself turning red. "Sorry about that—it was hard not mentioning anything to Obito when he was tempted to punch me earlier."
"Oh, Kakashi, you were teasing him again, weren't you?!" Without even meaning to, I found myself squeaking in horror, frustration, and embarrassment all at once, resulting in a rather interesting voice on my part. Apparently, it must've made for a funny image, as Kakashi chuckled before pulling me close for yet another hug, uncovered nose resting in my hair. Which basically made it all the more frustrating for me, because I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die to save myself embarrassment. "Aaaah, and are you just teasing me now?!"
"No," Kakashi said, all the more amused by the sound of his light snickering. "It's just the first time in a while you reacted like this, Tomoko."
"Muuuuuu!" I pouted, crossing my arms. "You—you—argh!" I just covered my face with my hands when I just couldn't find anything else to say.
What is it with me and falling in love with the canonical trolls?!
Hisako in her corner of the library was currently caught between squealing and cackling.
"Pft." Kakashi was now audibly chuckling, and with his mask down to his chin, I could easily see the full extent of his grin between the cracks in my fingers. "Oh, you," he parroted, and his breath gently brushed the top of my head, making my heart panic all the more. "What am I to do with you…"
He's okay with me.
Warmth flooded my chest almost immediately at the thought as my heart continued to throb in my ribs. With a shaky breath, I removed my hands from my face. "K-Kakashi…?" I tried.
"Hm?"
"Wh-what are we now? Friends? M-More than that?" I tried to make eye-contact again, but with the way my heart was handling things, I found myself lasting only a mere second before turning away, heat flooding my face yet again. "Maybe…maybe…"
Kakashi's breathing had stalled, and because of our close distance, I could tell that he was caught off guard for a moment. Then, he laughed, almost nervously with how the exhaled air erratically blew at the top of my head. "Boyfriend and girlfriend?" He filled in.
LUBDUB.
"Meep," I said dully.
Kakashi laughed again, a bit more confidently this time before the hug tightened and a chin landed on my shoulder. "Maybe, Tomoko, maybe."
"Mm," I said. "I-I'd like that."
Okay, I'll take the 'maybe' for now. Hisako smiled, more motherly this time in the gesture. You both are still growing up, it's okay to take it slow. The fact that you're both so comfortable and mature with this situation says a lot about you.
Relief finally flooded me along with the heat, letting me relax in the hug enough to lean back against him. "Kakashi?"
"Yeah?"
My heart beat again, but I went with it anyways. "I love you."
He sucked in a breath before tightening the hug, nose lightly brushing my neck. "I love you too." A smile came up on his face as his free hand reached up to lightly brush through my hair. "Thank you, Tomoko."
"Th-there's no need to thank me for anything, Kakashi…" I still found myself smiling back. "Though…wait a minute." The thought hit me, along with the horror. "W-We've been more…sweet together than actually talking this entire time, haven't we?"
Kakashi tensed again before laughing, louder this time. "I haven't seen you object that much."
"U-Until now, you mean!" I squeaked out, trying my best not to yell in spite of my high-pitched voice. "I-I still need to get around to why I wanted to talk to you in the first place!"
Hisako hummed. Yeeep, because kissing can be all the more distracting, right Tomoko-chan?
HISAKO!
Heheheh. She proceeded to gloat.
"Go ahead, Tomoko, go ahead." Despite the light and teasing tone, I could tell that Kakashi was serious now. "What is that you needed to talk to me for?"
I fidgeted enough in the hug so that I would be leaning my head against his shoulder, legs tucked in a way so that it wouldn't be uncomfortable sitting down. "W-Well, first up, Kakashi, for this relationship, I-I kindadon'twantsexuntilwe're18andup, okay?!"
…
Hisako sighed. Dear, we really need to work on your communication skills. You just blurted all that out with no spaces in-between.
Shit.
Kakashi blinked. "Huh?" he said flatly. "Tomoko, please repeat that."
Oh dear lord, someone seriously save me now. Teenage awkwardness sucks. More so when your past life never really mentally got past that stage.
"U-Um," I gulped, pushing down the temptation of burying my face into Kakashi's shoulder, despite how nice it sounded. "Well, uh, um, uh." Blood continued to rush to my face.
"Tomoko," Kakashi poked my cheek, and I found myself sucking in a breath. "Breathe. Deep breaths too, okay? Don't hold it in."
I did that, taking a few moments to let the air sink into my lungs before exhaling.
Kakashi smiled at me once I turned to make eye-contact. "Better?"
"Mm."
He smiled, brighter this time, before leaning in, his nose gently brushing my forehead. "Go on and say it again."
"O-Okay," I said, even with my nerves still on overdrive, and all because of my previous statement. "Just uh, I was trying to say that…well," I leaned against his shoulder to try hiding my cheeks. "I kinda don't want…to, well, have sex until we're 20 and older, okay? A-And no clothes coming off until we're 17-18 or…or something."
Despite my face feeling like the hottest furnace at the confession, Hisako was the first one on the "comfort train", smiling softly. You did good, Tomoko-chan. It's good to be honest. From the looks of things, you didn't leave any loopholes, unlike Vy with Leo.
Uuuugh. Don't remind me…!
Then Kakashi laughed, softer this time, before tightening the hug. "Of course," he said, warmth in his voice. "After everything today with Dad, I wasn't expecting you to be up for that. Either of those ideas, I mean. I-I'm not really up for those things yet either."
Huh? Did Kakashi stammer? I blinked before turning my head to look up at him. "Really?"
Kakashi shrugged, leaning in so that we would be bumping foreheads again, smile a bit more goofy-looking. "Really."
I found myself letting out a relieved breath. "Thank you…th-that was a lot easier than I expected."
"Tomoko, I said it before." Kakashi rolled his eye before leaning upwards, and I found myself squeaking once a kiss gently landed on my forehead. "Even if we've become more than friends, it's still me. You shouldn't be so worried about it."
A shaky sigh followed as I attempted to stay still and not fidget, instead fiddling with my hands. "I-I'll try. It's just the first day of this whole new thing, so it might be a while."
Kakashi sighed too, before letting his chin brush the top of my hair. "I'll take that then. It's enough for now."
The idea hit me as soon as the silence settled. "A-As long as you stay safe first too, Kakashi, please?"
He paused, clearly surprised by the request before nudging my shoulder for me to look up at him again. "What brought this on?"
"I-It's just…" In an attempt to not get more embarrassed, I found myself reaching for his left hand, taking it up in mine to trace the many lines and calluses in his palm with my fingers. "You're a Jounin now, Kakashi. You could easily be sent out on more missions. I can handle being on my own, since Mama and Papa are still around, but…but…" My throat was already closing up at the mere thought of Kakashi dying, and I shook my head vigorously. "You could get injured or—or worse. I know it might happen, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."
Seeing your Canon self die to Pain was hard enough.
Hisako immediately pushed those images out of my mind with a face. Tomoko-chan.
Kakashi inhaled softly before returning the grip, interlacing our fingers. "I know," he said softly. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize for something you can't help, Kakashi," I shook my head, leaning against him a bit more in an attempt to get more comfortable. "Just try to stay safe and come home, okay?"
"Don't die on me," was left unsaid. I knew I couldn't say that, especially with the memory of how Vy died still lingering in my mind.
"Be Vy! Please don't go! Don't die! We're here, the ambulance will be here soon—please!"
I shivered at the memory.
Kakashi paused, probably noticing my tension, and went on to squeeze my hand. I only watched before flushing red again at yet another kiss landing on my hand this time. "I promise," he breathed, and my heart beat hard with the feeling of his breath brushing my skin. "Don't worry, Tomoko."
Hisako, surprisingly, was the one to let out the sigh of relief. Let's just hope that like with Kannabi, he can keep that promise.
I hoped so too.
"Okay, but…" Outwardly, I blinked, channeling the doubt into a small curiosity. "Is it just me, or have you been more affectionate since we confirmed our being in a relationship, Kakashi?"
Kakashi lowered our interlaced hands, now smirking. "Says the girl who hugged me almost every single time we met up before living together?"
LUBDUB.
I frowned at him as best as I could, despite my red face. "Hugs are awesome, I don't see what you're complaining about."
"Who said I was complaining?" Kakashi smirked even more, squeezing my hand tightly. "The only thing I might be complaining about, though…" He then leaned in, never letting go of my hand all the while. "Is the lack of kisses."
Oh dear god.
Lubdub, lubdub, LUBDUB.
Yep. At this rate, my heart would be screaming.
"W-We kinda already kissed 5 times today, Kakashi, you still want more?" I said incredulously.
He blinked before raising his head in his best "thinking pose", hand on his chin and everything. "True, but…" Kakashi turned back to me with a teasing smile, and the glint in his eye was strangely reminding me of his more trolling Canon self from Part 1. I was utterly doomed now, if not by Canon looming, then by my own boyfriend's charm. Dammit. "We never established a limit, did we?"
Ooooh, cheeky. Hisako whistled.
I tried not to pout, looking away for a moment. "You do want more."
"Is that so bad?" A nose lightly brushed the top of my hair again, and I found myself shivering. "Hugs can only last for so long."
…He's just fishing for these, isn't he?
Don't ask me, dear. Hisako was humming in clear amusement. Boys in love can be very interesting to observe in their natural habitat.
…Hisako, are you seriously making this situation out like a nature documentary?
Hisako smirked, just as I looked up to take in Kakashi's own small grin. "So, Tomoko," he leaned in, and his breath fanned my face again. "Can I?"
My heart skipped a few beats.
Ooooh, you are so unfair, both of you!
Hahahah!
Outwardly, I tried not to pout. "O-only a few, okay? We still have a long day tomorrow, a-and I kinda need time to properly…uh, handle it all. You're kinda overwhelming, Kakashi."
Kakashi smiled, happy warmth radiating off of him in waves. "That's more than enough. We can't do this outside anyways." And then a hand threaded itself through my hair, and we were kissing all over again.
Needless to say, I didn't have a chance to get a word in about Obito and Rin, because things like this made it easy to kinda forget. Oh dear.
Hisako justified it as my 'taking the chance to finally love yourself' (said with a sagely nod to boot, on yet another leader-like armchair), but all I could get out of my whole talk with Kakashi was that he could surprisingly be affectionate when we were alone (and probably only when we're alone), and that I had another relationship on my hands now.
Thank god for limits, because I nearly felt like fainting once Kakashi finally pulled away for us to sleep for the night. And not sleep as in…18+ stuff. Just share a futon because Kakashi sneaking back to his room seemed a bit too risky with Uncle Sakumo and Papa having ninja skills.
Yeah. I was seriously doomed.
Papa was sporting a funny face when sitting at the dinner table for breakfast the next morning. With his eyebrow twitching, shaky smile, and somewhat frozen hand, I didn't have the best of feelings.
Mama simply nudged him. "Dear."
I glanced at Kakashi. He only opened his silver eye at me in curiosity while mid-sip a glass of water.
Papa sighed before lowering his hand onto the table and consequently face-planting into the wood with a loud SMACK. Everyone ended up jumping, with the exception of Uncle Sakumo and Mama. "Uuuuugh."
"…Papa?" I tried.
He raised a single pointer finger, still facing the table. "Just a second, sweetie," he mumbled.
I glanced at Mama this time, only for her to shrug at me helplessly, shaky smile on her face. "Give him a minute," she mouthed.
Papa went on to smack his head again. And again. He did this for quite a while until the table was shuddering almost constantly with each consecutive hit, and by the time I had counted off 20 hits, a clear vein had shown up on Mama's face. "Anata," she said warningly.
"…Dad?" I tried again.
Kakashi had calmly stopped drinking from his glass, only to stare at the scene with a raised eyebrow while Uncle Sakumo peeked over his newspaper with wide eyes.
Mama just patted Papa's shoulder while letting the vein fade with a long sigh. "Judai, I talked to you about this already. When Tomoko-chan falls in love, we're going to continue supporting her, remember?"
Blood rushed to my face as Kakashi coughed.
"That doesn't make any less sad to think about!" Papa muttered into the wood. "My little girl, already together with a boy…!" If I didn't know any better, it looked like a storm cloud started raining on Papa's head. "What happened to the past 13 years…?"
"…Oh," I said numbly.
Parents have it tough too, Hisako said, hand to her chin in thought. At least he's not taking it as bad as Vy's parents…
True, but I still worry, Hisako.
And that— Hisako crossed her legs with an exasperated huff. —Is something you will probably never lose from Vy. Aside from your open heart.
Hisako.
Hey, it's true, y'know.
Uncle Sakumo folded his newspaper into a square before putting it down onto the table, sympathetic expression on his face. "Judai, the kids were going to grow up eventually…"
"Yeah, but it's still hard to deal with…" Papa sighed, and I could've sworn his soul was about to float out. "My hime has started growing up, and I don't know how I feel about it…!"
Kakashi glanced at me, mask still down to his chin. "Time to go?" he mouthed.
I glanced at Mama. She was still rubbing Papa's shoulder before looking up at me, and her smile was a bit more apologetic. "Go ahead, Tomoko-chan," she mouthed back to me. "Let the adults handle this."
Needless to say, Kakashi ended up taking my hand this time to escort me out of the house. After grabbing our Wayfinders and usual outgoing gear, of course. Karen the Crocodile figure ended up hitching a ride in my skirt pocket as Jim-san's pink ring went on my left middle finger as always. It didn't feel right leaving them, considering how the Wayfinders were already going to be a constant in our lives. Not to mention, it felt like I needed Jim-san's personal touch of luck today.
Now, Kakashi could've easily done a Body Flicker Jutsu to save time, but considering my motion sickness, running was the next best thing.
Once we were outside of the house and Nagareboshi Cafe, Kakashi sighed. "…We really dug ourselves into a hole, didn't we?"
"The fact that I'm already planning to do a whole concert and possibly make an apology cake on the side just for Papa? Basically." I said dryly.
Not to mention the whole 'love-chain' thing that we somehow got involved in with Obito and Rin as the chain. Hisako added. That we still need to somehow inform this guy of.
Kakashi let go of my hand to instead rub the back of his head. "Sorry."
Eh? I shook my head. "Kakashi, it's not your fault. Really."
"Don't know about that, considering how Uncle Judai is so protective of you," and with an additional sigh, his hand bumped mine again. I immediately grabbed it to squeeze in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. "But thanks."
I glanced around really quick. There was no one passing us, so…
Hisako grinned. Go, Tomoko-chan.
Opening one of Nagareboshi's large doors, I pulled Kakashi behind it while tugging at his hand all the while, standing on my tiptoes to lightly peck his lips through his mask. It wasn't much—if anything, my awkwardness still stuck with me, so it was a little clumsy. Kissing a mask was kinda weird too. Not to mention how a huge coil in my gut was egging me at how the door might not be enough cover.
Still, when I pulled away, Kakashi's eye was wide, a light pink dusting what was visible of his cheeks through his mask. "Wha?" he said.
Despite my heart starting yet another marathon, along with the heat flooding my face, I forced myself to hang on and explain. "D-Don't blame yourself, Kakashi, okay? I-I wanted to do this, to be with you, so if Papa has a problem, I'll talk to him! You don't have to worry!"
Leo in the past had to deal with a bit of flak from Vy's parents. Even if it looked like there wasn't as much of a chance of Mama and Papa doing the same, I didn't want to take any chances.
This was, after all, Konohagakure, a ninja village, instead of the United States of America.
Kakashi stared at me for a moment, gaze turning soft. "You had to do all that, out here?" He motioned to the cafe, but still chuckled, and I found myself blinking before he tugged at our hands. Next thing I knew, I was in another hug, a chin hooking over my shoulder. "You dolt…" Even if it was an insult, the affection lacing the words only brought a smile to my face as I wound my arms around his waist to hug him back.
"Love you too, Kakashi. Let's go see Obito-kun and Rin-chan now, okay?"
I had to get around to mending this love chain sooner or later. Especially before it tangled everyone up.
Despite my previous resolve towards the situation, it quickly crumbled once the rest of Team Minato showed up in the vicinity of Training Ground Three.
How was I supposed to start this? To explain things?
Obito had only glanced between Kakashi and I before grinning widely. "Heeeeeey, lovebirds! Did something happen?"
Shit, said Hisako. Rin, who was standing next to the Uchiha, only blinked, clearly confused. I couldn't be all the more grateful that she didn't catch on to Obito's sayings…as usual. Unfortunately. What a turn of events.
Blood was already rushing to my face at the implications as Kakashi coughed again. "What in all hell are you implying, Obito?"
If I didn't know any better, Obito seemed to be sporting a Cheshire-Cat-like grin now, his only hand reaching up to rub his chin. The motion could only make me imagine an older Obito with a goatee, which…yeah, that was a weird thought in of itself. "Oh, nothing~!"
He proceeded to hum.
"Really." Kakashi was unamused. "Feel up to a spar, then? I need to blow some steam off." He proceeded to crack his knuckles.
Obito immediately raised his hands up. "W-Wait, now?"
"There's an open training field, and we're standing on it," Kakashi continued in the same tone. "Unless you have any other ideas?"
Obito visibly gulped while I felt a shiver go up my spine.
Note to self: Never get Kakashi angry. Ever.
I don't think he would get angry at you though, dear.
I dunno, Hisako, I mean, Rin…
I glanced over at the medic, and she seemed to be caught between calming the imminent fight between them and—oh no. She was glancing at me, wasn't she?
Yes, Hisako answered dully. Yes, she's looking over here. Should I invest in a Doomsday Clock?
Please don't.
Alright, that's a checkmark in the 'Never to Materialize Ever' List.
…There's a list for that?
Hey. Hisako frowned. Why do you think I've never made any zombies in this library?
Point. Thank you for that.
You're welcome, dear.
Still, that did not change the fact that Rin was looking my way with a questioning stare. "Tomoko-chan?"
'What other people did was dependent on them. You have to do what you can do.'
Mama's words echoed in my head. I had a feeling Hisako pushed the memory out into view on purpose.
I have to tell her, huh.
It's better sooner than later, Tomoko-chan. Hisako said, almost mournfully. Tearing off the band aid now is better than letting it settle and things escalating. You can do it.
It always came back to me when it came to eggshell-walking, huh.
I'm with you, Tomoko-chan. You're not alone, okay?
With that in mind, I took a breath before walking over and lightly taking Rin's hand in mine.
"Rin-chan, could we talk for a minute while the guys spar? I-I kinda need to tell you something."
Here we go.
Today was supposed to be a good day.
Nohara Rin expected as much, considering this was yet another day in the break that resulted after the mission at Kannabi Bridge. Considering that one meeting with the Hokage and the somewhat ominous tone he had left the team, Rin had every intention to relax. Team Minato was home in Konoha again, and things were looking up in the war.
So then why did her gut feel so twisted?
Once Tomoko-chan had tugged her a considerable amount of distance away from the boys (to where they were probably small sticks in the horizon, for the sake of detail), Rin tried not to gulp. "Tomoko-chan, what did you want to talk about?"
The civilian fidgeted with her hands, and Rin couldn't miss the slight glint of pink from her left hand. "How in all heck am I supposed to start this…?" Tomoko muttered a bit more under her breath. "Ughhhh."
Rin was not expecting Tomoko to grab a hold of a nearby tree trunk and slam her forehead into the wood.
"OW!" Tomoko went expectedly.
"Uh, Tomoko-chan?" Rin gaped, glancing behind her. Thankfully, the boys didn't seem to notice, too concentrated on their fight to look towards them, but knowing the boys…
The girl raised a pointer finger in Rin's direction while still facing the tree. "Give me a minute." She proceeded to slam her head into the tree once more, thankfully with a little less force, before taking a step back and properly wincing. From the looks of things, a small bruise and a few splinters were already showing up in the skin not covered by Tomoko's bangs. "Ow…okay, bad idea."
"Tomoko-chan…" Rin couldn't hold back the worry in her voice now as she approached the civilian with glowing green hands, chakra already ready for healing. "What was that all about? You didn't have to hurt yourself."
"It just felt like I deserved it!" was the answering squeak, and Rin tried not to lurch back. The treatment had only just started with her taking ahold of Tomoko's head, so her speaking so fast wasn't helping her case. "Something happened, and, and, itwasn'tsupposedtogothatway, and I'mjustterrifiedofhurtingyou!"
"Tomoko-chan, calm down." Rin tried to smile while carefully removing the first few splinters. The squeakiness was bad enough for concentration, anyways. To prevent another onset of rambling, Rin took a cue from Kakashi. "Take a few deep breaths, okay?"
Tomoko inhaled, just in time for Rin to pull out a particularly nasty little stick. Thankfully, the breathing exercise resulted in the civilian barely flinching, allowing Rin to finish her little job in time for Tomoko to exhale.
"Better?" Rin said, removing her hands.
Tomoko nodded wordlessly.
"Now," Rin inclined her head. "What's this about you hurting me, Tomoko-chan?"
The civilian proceeded to lose most of the color in her face. "Oh dear. Oh dear." She breathed in again, albeit shakily. "Rin-chan…"
Rin gulped. "What is it?"
Tomoko ducked her head, bangs hiding her eyes now with the new angle. "Oh, screw my hesitance right now," was the mutter, and then she looked up, and Rin lurched back for real.
Tears were budding in Tomoko's blue eyes as she said it.
"I'm so sorry…! I-I ended up kissing Kakashi yesterday. It was kinda a spur of the moment thing on both of our parts, but I'm sorry…!"
Rin's insides felt like ice. "Wh-wha?" she said. "What?"
Kiss? Kiss? The words rang in her mind.
Tomoko flushed an embarrassed red as the tears started to make her eyes appear glassy. "I-I didn't mean to spring this on you, but after everything we talked about, it didn't feel right to hide it! It just happened, a-and Kakashi—no, that's not right—" the girl proceeded to mutter to herself, shaking her head, "—A-Anyways, I'm so sorry! Things happened when I should've waited a bit longer!"
Waited…Kiss…Conclusion? Was the basic approximation of the thoughts running through the medic's mind. She didn't even realize the boys had stopped fighting in their spar to look in their direction.
The dots slowly connected.
Kakashi…chose…Tomoko-chan?
Common sense screamed that it was obvious. The Jounin had been looking at the pianist, and most the time, only the pianist, from the very beginning. It was only that irrational part of her, controlled by naivety and the slightest bit of jealousy (Rin bit back curses at the thought) that prevented her from really accepting it.
But here Tomoko was, still trying to apologize through ramblings that the medic couldn't make out anymore, while Rin's hands were frozen at her sides.
I need to get out of here. I can't stay here.
Despite those thoughts in mind, Rin was still able to put on a smile. "I-It's okay, Tomoko-chan, things happen. I-I just—I just need to get some time to myself, okay? Let Kakashi and Obito know that I needed to head back early!"
She couldn't even make out Tomoko's face as she turned around and promptly fled by tree.
…That could've gone worse, Hisako said once Rin had disappeared. At least she didn't react as badly as that other guy in Vy's love triangle.
Despite Hisako's words, the red-hot shame and overall hurt running through me was real. I didn't even have the mental power to even reply to her. Whether it was because of my own self-loathing for letting things happen like that or my own empathy, I didn't know.
What I did know was that Obito and Kakashi were quickly running over to me, Kakashi the first one to reach my side. "Tomoko, what happened? Where's Rin?"
The tears were blurring my eyes already, but thankfully not to the point of spilling over. I used my arm to wipe at them before saying anything. "Sh-she had to go back early. Our talk k-kinda went a bit sour."
And then I ended up sniffling. Goddammit, me, you need to hold together. Don't start—
Tomoko-chan.
All I could make out was Kakashi's eye narrowing before a hand tugged at mine to bring me into a hug, my nose landing in a shoulder. "Shhh, shhh." Despite the tight grip, the hum was soft in my ear. "It's okay, Tomoko. It's okay."
If not for the situation, I would've accepted those words without a heartbeat in-between. But that couldn't happen yet. Not yet.
Rin was still gone, somewhere, upset. And it was my fault.
Again. My gut went, making my insides twist like a knife had been stabbed in them. Just like Vy.
Obito's eye darted between Kakashi and I with much palpable confusion. "Wait, what? What's going on?"
"K-Kakashi," I tried, even with my voice shaking and eyes watering. "I-I need to explain, so could you please let go of me?"
From the feel of things, Kakashi didn't seem all that keen on the idea, pulling away only slightly to stare at me. "Tomoko, are you absolutely sure?" Even without having any mission experience, I knew I was facing a version of his mission persona, judging by the tight grip on my shoulders.
Tomoko-chan, I don't think this is a good—
"I-I'll be okay after I say this, Kakashi, so please." I ended up saying, raising a hand so that I could lightly touch one of his arms, rubbing it in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. "Let me explain, alright?"
Hisako just facepalmed. I don't even know anymore. Just go with it, Tomoko-chan. I'll be doing damage control.
Kakashi frowned at me before leaning in, mask lightly brushing my forehead. I tried not to shiver, because his breath was starting to tickle the place where—where Rin just healed me up… "Alright," he said quietly. "But don't push yourself. Just tell me if it gets too rough for you."
No need, man. Hisako twirled a large broom, and I tried not to flinch from the amount of force my other self was exerting on the simple tool. I'll handle Tomoko-chan if she gets too reckless.
Oh dear.
Obito was still looking at us like we were elephants, so I ended up spilling. The talk I just had with Rin, the possibility of a love triangle, and how Kakashi choosing me led to so much. I couldn't mention Rin's crush on Kakashi directly, considering I didn't want to pressure Rin into saying anything after all that I had messed up already, but hinting at it seemed to be enough, judging by the boys' shocked faces.
What threw me off the most, though, was the lack of color in Obito's face once I got to the point about Kakashi and I being in a relationship.
"Wha?" he said dully. "Wait, really? Seriously? You two are together now?"
Kakashi threw him an exasperated stare while hooking his chin over my shoulder. "What does it look like?"
While talking, the three of us had taken sitting positions underneath the tree shade, and Kakashi somehow made it his priority to cuddle me, or something, considering his grip on my waist from behind. I ended up leaning back against him for the sake of having some kind of physical rock, making it feel all the more like an echo of the first lunch Team Minato shared together so long ago.
When did things become so dramatic?
When did we lose our innocence?
Puberty, Hisako deadpanned. Love chains making the red string strangling while in the middle of war. She threw her hands in the air in frustration. Hell, zombies.
As if on cue, a dead-like groan sounded behind her, only for an Oblivion Keyblade to come down on that head, with sparkles and rainbows coming out of the new wound. You didn't see that, Tomoko-chan.
Oookay?
Still, Obito was gaping as color was slowly returning to his face. "Wow," he said finally, caught between pointing fingers and smiling. "C-Congratulations, you two! I-I was actually kidding on the whole "lovebirds" thing, but congratulations!" Obito settled for clapping his hands, shaky grin on his face. Apparently, we shocked him to the point of plain acceptance…?
Hisako proceeded to twirl her Keyblade while shrugging.
"Thanks…" was my half-hearted reply, and Kakashi just bumped my cheek with his.
Even without looking, I could tell that Kakashi was frowning at me. "Oi, it's going to be okay. Rin should be fine."
"How do you know that…?" I couldn't help the sulky tone at this point, as I was very much tempted to bury my face in my hands. "It's because of me that things turned out like this…"
At that point, I was not expecting that same masked cheek to bump mine so hard to where I reeled from the pain momentarily. "WAH!"
"Tomoko." Mid-wince, I looked up only to lurch back at the serious look in Kakashi's eye. "Did you mean for this to happen?"
"Uh, no," I said sheepishly.
Kakashi squeezed my waist softly. "Did you force Rin into saying anything?"
"No," I repeated, not sure of where the conversation was going now.
Kakashi then leaned in so that his hitai-ite touched my forehead through my bangs. "Did I force you to kiss me yesterday?"
What? "No!" I said again, more vehemently this time.
He asked and you just went with the flow. Hisako pointed out. Kakashi had already made his choice.
"Then what exactly is your fault?" Kakashi gave me an eye-smile before pulling away and resting his chin on my shoulder. "Things happened, and Rin understandably got upset. That's the truth. But what happened wasn't your fault. It might as well have been mine."
I let out a breath. "Kakashi…" I wanted to tell him something like, "Don't say that!", but in this situation, there wasn't much else to be said.
The choice happened, so we all have to face the ramifications of it. Hisako concluded softly.
Obito glanced between the both of us with a sympathetic eye, then stood up. "Do you want me to go check up on her?"
Kakashi sighed, an almost resigned tone to the usual sound. "By all means."
I raised a shaky hand. "J-Just don't confront her or anything, Obito. Just…just be there for her if you can, alright?"
You'll be much better than Kakashi and I, at least.
Hisako frowned. Tomoko-chan…
Obito nodded with a small smile on his face, making a single hand-sign with his right hand before promptly disappearing in a POOF of smoke.
Silence reigned as the wind blew softly.
The grip on my waist tightened. "He's gotten a bit better with using only one hand."
"Yeah…" I leaned back against Kakashi, trying to hold back a few tears. "Yeah…"
Kakashi exhaled softly, his breath lightly brushing my cheek. "I'm sorry, Tomoko."
For not knowing of Rin's crush on you? For pursuing me? For what?
I wasn't even sure what he was apologizing about anymore. Relationships were supposed to be happy, but this whole thing coming after just yesterday felt like such a bittersweet moment.
For someone to be happy, does another person almost always have to suffer?
I reached over to take one of Kakashi's hands and squeeze it. "Kakashi."
"Hm?"
"Is it…" I tried not to choke on the question. "Is it okay to be happy? Is it okay to be selfish?"
Kakashi didn't answer at first, only tightening the hug enough so that there was virtually no distance between us. All I could catch was his soft breathing, and how his chest moved up and down, almost as if trying to find something to say. "…I'd like to think it is," he said finally, voice solemn and quiet. "As long as I have you, Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei, Kushina-san, Dad, Uncle Judai, and Aunt Hikari, I think I'm happy."
My heart beat once, just as the first tears started flowing down my cheeks. "Mm-hm." I couldn't even get words out, my throat clogged with a lump that just couldn't get out. Kakashi hugged me to him, letting me hide my face in his shoulder, just so that I could finally cry a bit.
Cry over Rin, over Obito, and the possibility of the future worsening to the point of Kakashi losing all that happiness.
I just wasn't sure anymore.
Even in the warm sunlight from a rooftop, Rin felt cold.
Getting away with such a hurried excuse had worked for the time, but now that she had time to think on it, Rin felt horrible. Like a coward, a child—a selfish child who only focused on herself, not even paying attention to the facts and how Tomoko-chan didn't mean it.
Now that Rin thought about it, had Tomoko-chan really betrayed her, she wouldn't have told her in the first place.
Kakashi had already made his own choice, and Rin would have to handle that.
So then why did it hurt? Why did her heart pound so much to the point of making her sick to her stomach?
Rin bunched up the front of her shirt with her hand, vainly clutching at her chest.
What am I supposed to do…?
Then, a hand extended her way.
She looked up, her eyes catching a glimpse of orange leg-warmers, before meeting warm black eyes.
"Good morning, Rin-chan! How do you feel about a Youthful Run around the village with me?"
Might Guy had just arrived.
Author's Notes: …well, I'm happily surprised to be putting this out, because with all the emotion I went through when trying to brainstorm most of this chapter, I was expecting at least 2 weeks for this to be done. But, lo and behold, only a week. Go free time, I guess!
Though, at the same time, I do have to leave this chapter on a bittersweet note, since by tomorrow (January 8th of the new year, actually), I have to go back into another 10-week, probably stress-filled quarter in college. Which means updates and writing will be slow. No worries, everyone, Tomoko's story is not done by a long shot. It's just getting out that "love chain" and making sure it's at least covered before the vow of silence and so on.
Once again, I have to thank everyone who has supported me thus far, whether on FFN or on the Tumblr blog I moderate for Tomoko's world, because the massive amount of fan support has really helped me come such a long way. As of today, January 7th, 2018, CP has 1,029 reviews (which is a milestone in of itself, thank you so much 3), 1,463 favorites, and 1,731 followers.
Thanks, everyone.
This is Writer-and-Artist27 signing out to brainstorm Chapter 51, finish Chapter 16 of The Sea and Stars, and handle a new school quarter!