Disclaimer: Again, I don't own anything or anybody except Tomoko, her family, and Nagareboshi Cafe. Any concepts/ideas mentioned in this fanfiction that seem to be borrowed from another media/piece of continuity - note that I don't mean to plagiarize anything or anybody in any way! This fanfic was made for entertainment purposes, not for pissing off others! So yeah!
The theme for this chapter is the piece titled Bewildering Duel from the Yugioh GX Soundtrack. Considering the reveal that's happening here, I found that this track really portrayed the initial darkness of Tomoko's despair I wanted to write. This song was also used for some of my favorite scenes in Season 3 of the original GX anime, where Judai was able to use his bad memories as a way of moving forward, and with CP Judai taking precedence here in this story, why not?
Now for those who see the chapter title, it should be obvious that the other theme, already put into the CP OST playlist on YouTube, is something from Cardcaptor Sakura, specifically raykrislianggi's warm piano cover of Platinum. CCS was an old-time favorite of mine, alongside Yugioh GX, so it was about time to show my appreciation to them.
As a final music note (yes, the pun was intended this time), I took a recommendation from a very good fan and friend on Tumblr, chiefladylightyay, in including a piece simply titled Star Gazing Music — Far Beyond the Stars by Denny Schneidemesser on YouTube. The starring piano, violin, and cello literally drew me in as a theme for the Hoshino Family, and the accompanying instruments made it an orchestra I wish I could see. The song certainly delivers the hopeful theme I wanted to convey in the end at least.
Please enjoy!
Chapter 52: Platinum Star
I was actually the last one to be transported to the Hokage's office. And, as Hisako and me both — well, morbidly — expected, I was very much inclined to throw up once the trip was over, thanks to the furious speed of a ninja's Body Flicker.
Motion sickness be damned!
Thankfully, I wasn't the only one feeling that way because once I ended up in the room, I could make out Mama's own slightly green face hanging over her own paper bag, courtesy of a seething Papa.
"You just had to teleport us, didn't you?" he muttered.
Falcon-san's arm was still around my shoulders, providing somewhat of a nice support as I proceeded to throw my own bag open and promptly try to minimize the amount of my stomach I was losing. I didn't have the chance to even consider anything else until I was already heaving, feeling horrible. Heck, I don't even know how much time passed until all the 'Ugh' escaped my systems, and the leftover tension just made the air feel cold.
"W-Was that—" A cough cut through my voice before I could continue. "—R-Really necessary? We could've ran!"
When looking up at him, Falcon-san only scratched the side of his face not covered by his ANBU mask, looking as sheepish as a masked ninja could afford to be. "I'm sorry, Tomoko-san, but we couldn't lose much time. Recall that the war is still dwindling down as we speak."
I couldn't help but shut up at that. And at Hokage-sama directing his stare at me.
"T-Tomoko-chan?" Mama's voice, and I looked up only to see her reach a hand towards me. To my shock, Uncle Sakumo was the one to stop her by raising an arm in front of her, and I couldn't help but feel my heart clench tighter. I couldn't help but feel colder. "Sakumo-kun, wha—"
"Hikari, this is important," was his reply, and I couldn't help the shiver running up my spine at the monotony his voice had taken. How long had it been since I heard Uncle Sakumo sound like that? How long had it been since I had heard his mission persona and not his warm, friendly tone that he had used for these past five years? "We need to hear what's going on." I didn't miss how he pointed a stare in Papa's direction, and the glowing, glaring red-green heterochromia in Papa's eyes was obvious. "I don't recommend interfering either, Judai."
Papa gripped Mama's shoulders tighter, eyebrows furrowed in clear annoyance. "Sakumo, why—"
Uncle Sakumo's eyes only narrowed in response as his reply was just as short and curt as before. "You two wanted to be involved in Tomoko-chan's vow of silence, didn't you? Now that you're getting your wish, you should stay quiet and let her talk because I don't think you'll get this chance again."
Now that's a burn. Hisako said mournfully.
I opened my mouth in the hopes of saying something, anything, only to find nothing leaving my throat aside from a choked whimper. Without even looking around, I knew that Team Minato were staring at me with various emotions in their eyes. The only reassurance I could take from the whole situation was Hisako's mental hug and Kakashi's worry-filled stare.
Papa glared, almost balefully in Uncle Sakumo's direction in what felt like the first time I had ever seen him do so, before taking the barf bag off of Mama's hands and standing tall to lightly push Sakumo to the side. "Just let me do this then," was the equally tense response, and he walked over to me before reaching over and taking my bag too.
"P-Papa…?"
Up until that moment, he didn't look up at me. Before, he was focused on Mama and Uncle Sakumo, but once he raised his head, I found myself tempted to tear up.
The heterochromatic red-green from before was gone. Instead, I found myself looking into familiar brown — warm brown that I knew wasn't filled with anger at me. Rather, those eyes were so dark with emotion that I knew Papa was torn over this too. He was conflicted too.
"Papa?" I repeated dully.
He smiled, and a jolt went up my spine as soon as a warm hand rested on my head and he leaned towards my ear.
"It's going to be okay, Tomoko-chan," was the whisper. "Let's do this, and then we can go home to the cafe to play as much music as you want."
Falcon-san only inclined his head at the whole thing but didn't stop Papa from reaching over and pulling me into a short but sweet hug.
I held back the urge to cry or even hug him tighter as he proceeded to let go and pass me by, tossing the ugly barf bags into the trash before returning to Mama's side.
It will be okay, Tomoko-chan. The mental arms around me tightened, and Hisako's voice felt just as warm as the gesture from before. I'm with you.
"Tomoko-chan…?" Mama said again.
Uncle Sakumo only pointed a blank stare at me, just as Team Minato and everyone else in the room (consisting of the Hokage, Jiraiya-sama, Minato-san, and Kushina-nee) all turned at me.
"Tomoko-chan, you are free to start as soon as you are ready." Hokage-sama, and the faint scent of smoke made me realize he was already smoking his pipe. When did he pull that out? "Don't feel pressured. We have the tightest security and privacy seals in this office. As soon as you feel ready, go ahead."
I looked up, and Falcon-san nodded astutely before making another hand-sign and disappearing without even a puff of smoke.
Once I was alone in the little clearing made in the office, I found myself instinctively reaching for my Wayfinder necklace. The star's metal was nice in hand, and despite the light tingle of 'cold' touching my skin, it was still something that I could hold onto when, quite literally, everyone I knew in the vicinity were not planning — or at least, were able, in Mama and Papa's cases, apparently — to hug me.
Just don't mention the reincarnation thing, Tomoko-chan. Just don't.
Okay, Hisako.
I opened my mouth, trying to ignore the feeling of sawdust in my throat, and what first left my mouth actually made me feel worse than before. Sue me for honesty and desperation at this point. "S-So, I've been keeping a secret from you all for a while now."
Obito's jaw dropped. "Wha?" was the best reaction I could get in this situation, and coming from him, I could definitely take that much. "What kinda secret are you talking about, Tomoko-chan?"
The look in his eye clearly spoke volumes of how much this whole thing was confusing him, and I didn't know whether to hug him or cry because of how much trust and worry was swirling in his stare. He probably didn't even know of what was going on.
Then again, who did?
I tried not to fidget, because the eyes of Rin and Kakashi weren't really helping the situation. How could I continue? I had—
"Tomoko-chan, there's no one else in the room except everyone you see around you and the ANBU stationed outside my office. You're alright, so go on." The Third Hokage smiled, but I couldn't help but feel apprehensive in spite of the gesture. After all that had happened in the past, especially with his vow of silence on me, how could I?
Even with his slowly greying hair and beard, this was still a war-experienced Sarutobi Hiruzen. A powerful Hokage, who had every goddamn right to throw me into an Interrogation Room and be done with this mess. He had all the power to extract the needed information and then kill me once I had outlived my usefulness. Perhaps I was only alive because of how much knowledge my memories held, or the lingering remnants of Papa and Uncle Sakumo's combined influences? I didn't know.
That old grandfather figure just seems gone now, Hisako finished for me dully.
Perhaps Kishimoto glorified Hiruzen too much. I wasn't sure. Nonetheless, I was stuck here, and not in Vy's old room reading manga for fun anymore.
This was my life, and I had to keep going. If not for myself, then for the people that were standing in this room. No matter how much I hated myself for it.
Mama inclined her head, worry still present in her eyes. "Tomoko-chan?"
I fidgeted. "I…I…" My grip tightened around my Wayfinder. "I have memories…that aren't my own. Visions of things that I probably shouldn't know. For a long time now, actually."
Papa opened his mouth, but then closed it, just in time for Kakashi to take a step towards me. "Tomoko—"
Something in me proceeded to snap like a twig at the sound of his voice. Kakashi's voice, which should've comforted me, instead set off something to where I couldn't help but yell out the words. In my haste, I could've sworn I heard Hisako yelp in surprise at one point from all the water suddenly flooding the mental library at my outburst.
"In those visions, Uncle Sakumo died!"
Silence. All that greeted me was dead cold silence. The water in my head had calmed down, only for Hisako to gape silently.
That…wasn't what I was expecting you to start with, but it's better that it's out in the open now. It's okay, Tomoko-chan. It's okay.
Was it? I wanted to ask that to her, to anyone else aside from the people surrounding me, but I just didn't know anymore. I didn't even realize I had shut my eyes until it registered that I couldn't see anything but black. Heck, I didn't even realize I was shivering until a warm hand touched my shoulder.
Wait…a hand?
I opened my eyes, only to lock gazes with a shocked and worried silver eye.
Kakashi.
Despite my outburst, it appeared that he had taken on some semblance of a mission persona, not even shivering in comparison to me before his hand tugged, and I found myself in a tight hug. Normally, I would've loved the gesture, and hugged back without hesitation, because it was my best friend and boyfriend, and any comfort would've helped at all.
So then why did I feel so cold, despite the warmth surrounding me? So frozen?
"Tomoko, breathe. You were holding your breath." Kakashi's voice again, softer than before. The same hand from earlier had gone up to my hair, starting to brush through it in a way that made my heart beat hard. "Breathe."
Why did Kakashi have to remind me of his touch?
'Vy-chan.'
I opened my mouth and inhaled as much air as I could. My hands could only grip my Wayfinder tighter, and in the corner of my eye, I couldn't miss how Kakashi was wearing his own on his right hand that proceeded to wind around my shoulders and bring me closer. Nor how Kushina-nee, Minato-san, Rin, Obito, and even Mama and Papa were holding onto theirs, at least unconsciously.
How many…
Glints of metal shined from the incoming sunlight allowed through the curtains in the office.
A part of me wanted to hate myself more because Uncle Sakumo was clearly the odd one out of the group aside from Hokage-sama and Jiraiya-sama, with the lack of any star of his own. That is, if one decided to not count the tanto strapped to his back.
Why did I not ask Jim-san to make one for him…?
I didn't even realize that I had finished the impromptu breathing exercise until a hand was cupping my cheek and I was staring into that silver eye again. Kakashi only inclined his head, brushing some stray hairs away from my face with a small smile before taking a step back. He didn't need to say anything. The gesture was enough.
I took another breath before glancing at Mama. She was clearly caught between fuming at Hokage-sama and staring at me, so I just continued with whatever tangent I started. Uncle Sakumo's stare was hard to handle as is, anyways.
"The visions were…weird. Different from dreams. Almost like nightmares. But I've had them since I've started to play the piano." I knew that the last sentence was a half-lie. I've had the memories for so long, even before I became Tomoko, but there was no way I could share that. Even if the Hokage threatened to kill me right now. Instead, I hugged myself with one arm, my other hand keeping a tight grip on the Wayfinder for the sake of my sanity. "Uncle Sakumo had died first, and then Obito, and Rin, and then…" I tried to breathe deeper for the sake of not breaking down like the scared teenager I was. The Hokage was expecting a secret-keeper of some sorts, not a scared civilian girl that just wanted to die now from this whole unloading. "Minato-san, Kushina-nee, and then…then…"
My throat clogged.
Tomoko-chan…!
"Then—! Then—!" I tried again, but the name was almost like a strangled noise in the back of my throat. I was so used to saying it, so then why—
I didn't even realize I was tearing up until a familiar hand reached over my shoulders and pushed me forward via a soft grip on the back of my head, and I found myself looking up into a blurry silver eye.
"I died?" Kakashi finished instead, his face almost a few inches away from mine.
Crack. That was the approximate sound of my heart metaphorically breaking, and my voice failed me as I nodded furiously. I knew if I tried saying it, the idea would only carve a place in my mental library and fester there like the useless thing it was, but I knew it was something that happened nonetheless.
In another world, in another universe where I didn't exist, and Vy was in my place, Kakashi had died to Pain. My best friend had died, and painfully alone in the ruins of the village he protected. It was true that Kishimoto brought him back via Nagato's own powers later on in the same arc, but it didn't change the fact that Kakashi had died, and even now, risked dying again.
Kakashi, my Kakashi, would still be at risk.
No matter what I did or said right now, it didn't change the fact that one day, I could lose him.
A whimper left me at the thought. In response, Kakashi hummed, an almost gentle, noncommitted sound before the hand on my head pushed softly. I didn't even realize I had hit a shoulder until a warm breath tickled my ear. "It's okay," he said, the same hand brushing through some of my hair. "We can change this. You can do it, Tomoko."
Why do you have so much faith in me…? Why do you—
"Don't give in." The words alone made me freeze again, and I didn't have enough time to respond before Kakashi pulled away only slightly to bump foreheads. Even with his mask on, the soft smile was obvious. "You're not alone."
When did someone last tell me that…?
He pulled away again, and with everyone looking at me once more, I took a breath before wiping at my eyes with my arm.
"O-Okay, okay, I'll keep going then…"
It was not every day that Hatake Sakumo found himself at a loss for words. After all, the life of a shinobi was unpredictable, despite every single ninja agreeing on a few constants. Fighting, killing, and missions. That was all life had guaranteed for shinobi. Secrets were no mystery, but this was different.
Secrets were certainly one thing, but from a girl that he knew so well? The girl that arguably inspired him to keep going? It felt like that old mission all over again. The shock, the numbness in his limbs, everything. The cold was the same too, with its choking atmosphere in the office nearly making him want to hurl. It took all he had to not blow up against anyone in the room, because Team Minato was still in the office, and the Hokage too.
And Tomoko-chan. Oh god, Tomoko-chan. Despite only being a meter away, Sakumo couldn't remember the last time she looked so small. Perhaps when she was still a baby back during that first birthday party so long ago, or during those cold months that followed the 'Drunk Guy Incident,' as Hikari dubbed it, but never so lonely. Those months after the Incident still had that hint of warmth with Tomoko trying to smile and support everyone in that small way of hers.
But this. This Tomoko-chan was hugging herself, spilling words that kept striking his heart like arrows while keeping back tears of her own.
"Th-The visions were creepy. I can't think of any other way to describe them. After meeting Kakashi and Uncle Sakumo, they started getting more frequent. More…" Tomoko shivered. "More realistic. More prophetic."
If Sakumo's heart hadn't already dropped to his stomach, it certainly took the chance now. The thoughts swirling through his mind felt like poison that needed to get out, and even when saying it, it felt like sawdust had clumped up in his throat. "So, when you met me…"
"Y-You had died from a suicide, Uncle Sakumo, in those visions." Tomoko shook her head vigorously, and if not for Kakashi's sudden grip on his hand, the metaphorical punch to the gut would've been worse. "After the fall of the White Fang too, from all the shame and ostracization from the village." Sakumo didn't miss how both Jiraiya and Hokage-sama tensed in their places, eyes wide. From the looks of things, the two men weren't expecting this part of the story either. "…I-I just couldn't let it happen like that…not ever."
In another time, I would've died and left Kakashi alone?
"And—" Minato too seemed shocked, despite the calm way he was conducting himself in posture. "And you ended up acting on them? On the visions?"
"Not in the way you think, Minato-san." Tomoko shook her head again, and Sakumo could make out her hand loosening its grip over her necklace, exposing some of the light green-tinted metal. "I didn't want to be a ninja, first off, because I know I don't exactly have the power to fight like you and everyone else in the room. I…" Tomoko paused again, ducking her head as her voice turned quieter. "I just wanted to help with music. And with hugs…I think."
Kakashi tugged at Sakumo's hand, and he found himself looking down at his son for the first time in a while, blinking as Kakashi inclined his head.
Are you okay, Dad? His stare seemed to say.
Maybe. Sakumo wasn't sure of his heart now, or where he even stood with this whole crapload of information, but from hearing those last words alone said one thing.
Tomoko-chan hadn't changed a bit since their first meeting eight years ago.
So, without even thinking, before the Hokage could say anything else, Sakumo moved, and was already kneeling in front of the teary girl with a smile. Tomoko stilled, shoulders tensing in response to the new presence in front of her and paused in her explanation. "S—" the girl choked. "Uncle Sakumo?"
"Did you regret it, Tomoko-chan?" he finds himself saying. "Did you regret any of it?"
Do you regret saving me?
"What?" The girl was clearly caught off guard now, not expecting the question judging by her wide blue eyes. "Regret—no! No, Uncle Sakumo, I don't! I could never regret it!"
Heh.
"Then, what's wrong?" The smile was growing on his face, and it was honestly surprising him with how the words left him so easily. In spite of everyone else watching and his own conflicted heart. What happened to subtlety? "The fact that I'm still here means something changed for the better, hasn't it?"
Jiraiya opened his mouth with a small and measly, "Possibly—" before a nearby glare from Hikari proceeded to shut him up.
Tomoko's eyes widened again before she shivered. Tears were budding in her eyes again, and Sakumo pushed down the panic to smile a bit brighter. "Hey now," the motions of comfort weren't as foreign as he thought as his hand reached over to brush at the waterfalls before they started. "I don't think I meant for you to cry, Tomoko-chan."
"Uncle Sakumo—" the girl cut herself off with a sniffle, reaching up to wipe at her eyes again. "I-I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"
For interfering? For saving me?
"Don't apologize, Tomoko-chan, it's okay." Taking a cue from Judai before him, Sakumo made sure to tug the girl into a warm hug, hoping that the gesture was enough to show forgiveness. Anger wasn't even an option — hell, not even a choice. "It's okay. Don't cry, alright?" Sakumo made sure to squeeze tighter as soon as shaky hands reached over to clutch at the back of his shirt.
It was only when the hands holding onto him stopped shaking that he pulled away, and for a moment, all he could see was that 8-year old pianist, smiling up at him. Another second was all it took to blink the illusion away and he couldn't help but smile back at the now 13-year old teenager shakily grinning at him. "Th-thank you, Uncle Sakumo." Despite the salty scent of tears, Tomoko's voice was soft with genuine happiness. "Thank you."
"It is no problem, dear. No problem at all." The fond nickname leaves him long before he realizes what he has done, but by the time he had a moment to reflect on the whole ordeal, Sakumo could only shrug. It didn't even occur to him that he had the right to be angry or even bewildered. All that mattered at the time was hearing out his niece — no, perhaps, a future daughter? He had to hide a snicker at that considering the situation at hand.
Nonetheless. This was probably for the better anyways.
To be soft — to be kind — meant being human, right?
When Obito thought things couldn't get any worse, he really thought they couldn't get any worse. After all, in the past few months, the following ensued.
One. Kakashi became a Jounin. Two. When blowing up Kannabi Bridge, Obito was able to unlock his Sharingan, only to lose an arm and give an eye away in the name of survival. Well, not that he regretted the last clause of that statement since everyone was alive and that was the best thing he could ask for in the Third Shinobi World War. Still. Three. The Uchiha Clan, last he checked, wasn't all that happy about the eye exchange. Not that he had time to worry about that, because number four brought him to the prelude of what was going on now.
Four had Rin crying into his jacket over unrequited love a week ago, and he still wasn't sure how he should react, aside from being the friend that Rin needed. He always knew, in a way, that Tomoko and Kakashi had eyes only for each other, but that didn't make the situation any less painful to see. He was happy for them, but the slight bit of sadness tugging at his chest was hard to ignore.
But five. It had to be goddamn number Five.
"Yeah…it wasn't great. In those visions, Obito…Obito-kun was lost at Kannabi. Buried under rocks. Rin-chan died soon after too, on another mission. T-To…"
Tomoko-chan was only a near meter away in the Hokage's office, but Obito could only find his feet frozen to the ground as she continued to speak. "To Kiri," she finished after a pause, shaking her head as she stood a bit taller, tenser now. "Then…we had peace for a little while, before…before Kushina-nee and Minato-san died too."
"How the heck did that happen?!"
The last thing anyone was possibly expecting was Kushina to speak up almost like a near banshee, and when every single gaze turned to her in the room, Obito gulped at the sight of red hair nearly standing on end. Kushina wasn't angry, but she certainly wasn't happy at the news either. He tried to hold a shiver down by grasping the closest thing to him, and it didn't even register that it was Rin's hand until sweat was already covering his palm and he couldn't even have the strength to care. "How did we all end up going like that?! Tomoko-chan, shouldn't there have been something we could've—"
Tomoko was clearly put out on the spot, almost gasping like something had stabbed her in the chest, because all that resulted was yet another yell that had everyone's blood go cold.
"But it was Uchiha Madara that killed you, Kushina-nee!"
Oh god. Oh fucking god.
Obito could already feel the bile coming up his throat. That name. Why did it have to be that name?
Kushina and Minato-sensei were both turning white.
The sound of a breaking pipe followed. "Madara?" Despite the recognition in his eyes, a small trail of blood went down between the Third Hokage's fingers. "That Uchiha Madara? Tomoko-chan, you do realize what you're insinuating, correct?"
Tomoko squeaked a loud high-pitched noise of what vaguely sounded like recognition before ducking her head.
"What? What the heck are you getting at?!" Aunt Hikari interrupted hotly. Anger was clearly coloring her face. "What's so bad about Madara—"
"Hikari," Judai spoke up, and Obito turned his head only to wince at the dark expression on the retired nin's face. "Uchiha Madara was one of the founders of the village and was able to control the Nine-Tailed Fox. He nearly ended Konoha if not for the First Hokage stopping him, and — and he should've been killed. He shouldn't have been able to come back and cause trouble."
"Damn straight," Minato-sensei added, and Obito wasn't even sure of what was going on now because it certainly felt like a puzzle was being assembled without his being privy to the goddamn instructions. "How could he have come back…? Wait." Minato-sensei immediately turned on Tomoko with wide blue eyes, and no one could miss the girl flinching. "Tomoko-chan, don't tell me that the masked man who attacked us and killed Kushina and I in your visions —"
"Was under the control of Uchiha Madara." Obito didn't know whether to stand still or throw up because the tears budding in Tomoko's eyes was nothing to laugh at. The fact that she was staring at him from the side of her eye with worry and horror did nothing to help. "In the visions, it was Obito."
Every single gaze turned to him. "…What?"
He needed to get out, now. There was no way — there was no way he could —
Oh, really? Are you really pulling the 'hero' act now?
"That…that can't be…" Obito didn't even realize his breathing stalling as the words continued to sink in. "But I'm alive! I'm here right now, aren't I?!"
"Yeah!" Rin's voice called out, and the grip on his hand had tightened in turn. "Obito couldn't do that!"
Kakashi's curt nod of agreement said more than enough too.
"This Obito wouldn't, Rin-chan!" Tomoko-chan wasn't taking this all that well either and was clearly close to sobbing again. Her voice was even cracking, and Obito was starting to wonder if this was even the truth or desperate lies. "But in those visions, he saw you die, Rin-chan! Madara killed you too!"
Oh, what the fuck. Why did it always have to come back to them…to him?
"Oh god," Kushina summed up.
Obito didn't even wait for the Hokage's nod. All that left his mouth was a quick, "CanIbeexcused?" before letting go of Rin's hand and promptly running out. He couldn't even hear the voices calling after him or make out the surprised hand of the ANBU stationed outside the office reaching towards him. All that he wanted was to get out.
Get out, get out, just get out.
It had to be wrong — those visions had to be false. They had to.
"Obito!" was all I could hear of Rin's voice before she had dashed towards the door opening and out of the office too, and yet despite my heart screaming at me to run after them, all I could register were the thick, salty trails of tears running down my face.
Oh, Tomoko-chan. Hisako said.
"O-Obito…" My voice was coming out choked now, my hand already reaching out towards that very same door, but I knew both him and Rin were already gone. To who knows where at this point, I wasn't sure. It was a small reassurance in how they didn't go far, but it was still something that had happened.
It was still my fault.
Tomoko-chan, you should— Hisako cut herself off as soon as a hand wound itself around my shoulders. Instinctively, I found myself turning and making eye contact with one silver eye, and Kakashi smiled softly.
Huh?
"Hokage-sama, I apologize for the sudden announcement, but Tomoko and I shall be excused for a moment." Without even skipping a beat, he was already pushing me outside the office, ignoring the surprised stares of everyone trained into our backs, passing Falcon-san along the way without an extra word put in. Huh? Huh?
Did I suddenly drop dead and end up in a new world where Hatake Kakashi of all people was openly defying his superiors? At least, passive-aggressively? Or did I end up in a different version of Canon?
Even with the tears still flowing down my face and leaving dry trails on my cheeks, I still found myself speaking up. "K-Kakashi?"
No answer.
I tried again. "Kakashi?"
A soft hum of recognition sounded above my head, contrasting the grunts he used to do.
I opened my mouth again. "What are you doing—" I didn't even see the incoming door until his right hand, his Wayfinder-covered hand was reaching over to grasp the doorknob and twist it open. My feet automatically walked in without any thought to stop them. The sudden darkness didn't even fully register until the door closed behind us with a loud CLICK of the lock and I found myself in a warm hug. A tight, warm, almost desperate hug.
"Goddammit," was the lone curse. It was low, dark, and almost angry. The grip around me tightened to the point I could feel my ribs creak a little, and my heart beat hard.
"K—" The syllable caught in my throat as more tears spilled out and onto his shoulder. "K—"
"Sorry, Tomoko." The soft, gentle tone to his voice, which in itself was a huge contrast to the curse from before, made me freeze as a hand went up to my hair. "For the curse. But you're okay. You're with me. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."
Huh?
Is he insinuating you do other things…?
I didn't even have the chance to think about Hisako's words before the hug loosened and I could make out the same silver eye staring at me through the darkness. "You don't have to prove yourself to anyone right now. You don't have to talk." The same gentle voice sounded, despite the occasional slip from some nervousness, as Kakashi inclined his head. The soft rustle of fabric followed, and then a new feeling was pressing against my head.
Oh my— Hisako started to squeal.
Before I could say anything, he withdrew to smile again, and even through the tears, the warmth in his eye was obvious. "You're going to be okay, Tomoko. You're going to be okay." His left hand now rested on my shoulder, gripping it in a way that wasn't uncomfortable. Reassuring, really, as the other hand, his Wayfinder hand, wiped at my cheeks in an attempt to stop the tears. "Just breathe for me, okay?"
All that could register through my heart was disbelief. "Wh-why?" left me instead because my breath couldn't go to anything else. The tears continued to come down, at least at a slower pace than before, as I tried to speak. Kakashi blinked, almost as if his stare was saying, 'Go on,' as the thoughts flooded my mind.
Why don't you reject me? Why didn't you leave me? I…I—
Hisako raised a panicky hand. Tomoko-chan—
"Why do you still accept me?" The words felt like knives stabbing my throat as they came out, leaving the inside of my mouth feeling dry and full of sawdust. I couldn't even bear to look into that silver eye, ducking my head so that I could be suffer in the darkness with my shame like the silly, useless girl I was. "Wh-why do you still comfort me like this? I-I kept all this from you!"
Kakashi froze. "Tomoko—"
I don't even know the words to describe the mess I was becoming right now, in this small black room. The dusty scent of the area did nothing to help, because all that made me aware of was how alone I felt, even with Kakashi still standing in front of me. I didn't deserve his presence, all because of my lies and secrets. I didn't deserve to be with a person like him. An amazing person like him. "I let you go on all those missions, even though you could've died, even though I could've done something for you! I-I could've been a ninja, helped you, and maybe died in your place to prevent Madara from making things worse, so, so why—"
"Tomoko." Cold metal touched my forehead between my bangs, and the knives stabbing in my heart stopped. It was as if time itself had stalled, and I looked up only to see Kakashi's gaze waver, clear emotion shining in the silver color. Huh? "Don't say that about yourself. Just don't." Another rustle, and then the same warm feeling landed on my right cheek. My face started to flood with heat as soon as it registered that Kakashi was kissing me. "You're forgetting what you've done because of not being a ninja."
"…Eh?"
Kakashi raised his head to stare at me again, and even through my own dwindling tears, the blurriness of his own open eye was obvious. Did I— "I don't care about what could've happened. What might've been in your visions. Those visions, your secrets, I never cared. I never, ever cared, you hear?" He vigorously shook his head, the close distance letting me feel his spiky silver hair brush my face. My heart started to beat again, pumping blood with the knives slowly disappearing with each word. What…?
His name escaped me instinctively. "K-Kakashi…"
He only smiled. "What matters to me is the girl standing in front of me. The person I love, who's crying right now." A kiss on my other cheek, gently wiping away the tears. "The pianist who chose to play songs for almost every event in my life, the civilian who gave me a home, and the girl who gave me a real family." The cold metal of his hitai-ite was touching my forehead again, and I was already finding myself tearing up again. "I love you."
Kakashi lurched forward to kiss my head again through my bangs, and by then, it felt like a dam inside me broke. Even with the tears close to spilling again from all the emotional baggage coming on at once, the fact that a smile was coming up to my face meant that this was real. That this wasn't a genjutsu, or a dream.
…He really loves you, Tomoko-chan. Hisako smiled. He always has.
A euphoric, almost broken sob left me this time as I pulled on Kakashi's sleeves, wrapping my arms around his neck as soon as I could find a good grip. He didn't hesitate in hugging back just as tight, making the gesture seem closer and warmer than any other hug we ever had. Even when the tears were starting to soak the shoulder of his shirt, he didn't seem to care, only pulling me closer with a soft hum. I couldn't remember the last time I had ever felt so safe. "I-I love you too, Kakashi," was my choked answer, and a gentle nod against my shoulder was the best reply I could ever get. "I love you too…!"
A few moments of quiet silence passed before a tickling, breathy sigh brushed against my neck. "And I'm glad for that." Another squeeze at my waist this time, and I looked up only for Kakashi to smile. "Thank you."
"F-For…" I tried not to sob and instead speak clearly. "For what?"
Kakashi inclined his head before lurching forward to bump foreheads. "For loving me."
Lubdub, lubdub, lubdub.
Tears were blurring my vision again as I nodded. "Mm…mm," was probably the best approximation for the happy noises leaving my throat. I wanted to say something else, something along the lines of the same vein, because he was the most amazing person I could ever have, but the lump in my throat was hard to get by. Even then, Kakashi's eye softened before looking down, and it only vaguely registered that he was looking at—oh dear—my lips.
Hisako grinned, wider and happier this time. Tomoko-chan, it's okay. Don't hold back, got it?
I tugged at his shirt, already feeling my heart pound harder at the thought. "K-Kakashi?"
"Yeah?"
The heat was already flooding my face as I tried to get the words out. Tears weren't even a problem at this point since they were already drying, albeit slowly. Ugh. Emotions could really be a problem sometimes. "C-Could you…um."
"Hm?" Kakashi nudged me with his cheek, and the scent of pines was finally coming through my originally clogged nose, making the situation all the more embarrassing. Sure, I would take this over the previous tension, but what is it with me and weird situations?! Inside my head, I could've sworn I heard Hisako's signature cackle…I think. "What is it, Tomoko?"
And goddammit, my boyfriend was really close again.
I huffed in a breath in the hopes of getting out the embarrassment and in turn force the needed courage back into my throat, before puffing it out.
"C-Could we kiss before we have to go back? Just…just one?"
I don't even know the origins of that question. Heck, it felt like I had just gone back in time, asking Leo that question once a long time ago. All that was going through my heart before then was disbelief, horror, and self-loathing. Now, all I could feel was a numbness to my heart, confusion, and a dash of relief for good measure. Maybe it was to remind myself that I was real. That this entire thing was real. I wasn't sure.
All I was aware of, in that dark room (which could've been a supply closet or a spare room of some sorts), was Kakashi's soft smile and following breath against my lips. "How can I say no to that?" was his answer, and then he was pressing his thumb to my chin to tilt it upwards before swooping in, and once the feeling had registered, I tried to get lost in it and forget.
Forget that we would have to go back to that office soon, and instead focus on the boy who was keeping me sane.
In the middle of the affectionate gesture, I could've sworn I felt Kakashi smile before he continued to press his lips to mine in the darkness.
Up on the rooftop of the Hokage Tower, Rin tried not to huff for the sake of keeping herself stable. About a meter away, Obito was resting his head on his arm over the nearby railing, visibly down if his drooping shoulders were any indication. She opened her mouth in the hopes of saying something, anything comforting, only to be lost in the silence that left her.
She tried again, opening and closing her mouth for some kind of reassurance, only to find nothing.
What…?
Rin tried not to sigh once the realization hit. Of course I can't say anything like, 'It's going to be okay.' I don't know if anything is going to be okay.
A love triangle was one thing. Secrets were another. Rin didn't even know how she was supposed to react when going back into that office again—hell, if anything, she couldn't help the dread in her chest when it came to the thought of seeing Tomoko-chan again. What was she supposed to listen to? What was she supposed to believe in?
Those questions roamed freely in her head, but she didn't voice them. Obito was shivering now.
"Obito?" His name escaped her almost naturally as she walked over. The Uchiha didn't move immediately, but the soft grunt in her direction was enough of a sign to continue. "Hi," she said, suddenly finding her mouth drying up.
"…Hey, Rin." She tried not to freeze at the lack of tone, the lack of literally anything, in Obito's voice, instead walking forward to stand at his side. "Please tell me you're not here to take me back."
"I wasn't planning on it," was what leaves her mouth instead. "I wasn't even thinking about it, if that helps."
Obito slumps onto the railing a bit more, his chin tucked into the crook of his elbow. "Ah," he says, the reply muffled. "That's a relief."
Rin couldn't remember the last time Obito sounded so dead. So lifeless. She tried to put on a smile for the sake of being cheerful, but only found her cheeks tightening, as if it was all fake. As if she was a fake. Instead, she reached over to wrap an arm around his shoulders. It was the least she could do if she couldn't put on a smile. "I'm here for you, Obito."
The Uchiha froze, clearly tensing under her grip. "Oh," he said, and then his shoulders started shaking. "R-Rin, I—"
"It's okay to be upset, Obito," Rin said, and her own tears were easy to ignore. At least, at the moment. "We both heard a lot today, and I know Hokage-sama and Minato-sensei will understand our stepping out."
"It—It's just," Obito's voice cracked as the first sign of emotion started breaking through, and Rin didn't know what to feel except pity and sympathy as his shoulders continued to shake. "Why did it have to be like this? Why did it have to be Tomoko-chan who let out the can of worms?"
Rin didn't know what to say to that.
"Losing my arm is one thing, Rin," and the medic had a vague feeling she was in for it now. Obito raised his head from his right arm to stare out into the distance, only to continue talking. "But to hear that one of my distant relatives is behind all this? One of the goddamn founders of the village? And that one of my best friends knew this was going to happen?" The anguish in his voice was hard to hear enough as is, but the simple fact that this was the first time since Kannabi that Obito had broken was like knives stabbing Rin's chest. "Why didn't she tell us sooner? I thought she trusted us. I thought she—she—" Obito choked, and Rin knew he was already close to tears. "I thought she saw us as family. She could've told us, and maybe we wouldn't have lost so much at Kannabi Bridge. Sure, I'm alive, but—but—" His voice cracked again. "So then, why—"
Why didn't Tomoko-chan tell us at all?
Rin didn't have to be a sensor to hear that question.
"I don't know, Obito," Rin's tears were already starting to come down too, accompanied by the stress of everything finally falling down onto her shoulders. "I don't know. I'm sorry I don't."
Obito swiveled his head around to look at her, and the tear trail trailing down his right eye was enough for Rin to pull him into a hug. "I'm sorry, Obito. I'm so sorry." She didn't even know why she was apologizing. This whole situation was no one's fault. No one's fault at all. And yet, all that could come to mind was despair and frustration. Obito didn't take long to hug her back, tucking his nose into her shoulder to start crying too, and they stood like that. The wind blew for a while, making the air feel all the colder, but Rin didn't care.
At least someone was holding onto her, staying with her, and it felt like things could be okay. Not now, but in the distant future.
Obito was at least feeling the same way and not stopping her from crying.
She didn't even hear the sound of footsteps before another pair of arms wrapped around them both, and Rin vaguely registered the feeling of a warm chest pressing against her shoulders.
"K-Kushina-san?" Obito went, voice stalling from the shock, and Rin looked up from Obito's shoulder to catch a glimpse of red hair.
"Hi, Obito, Rin." Kushina smiled, and even through the drying tears, Rin could make out how sad it looked. "Looks like I found you both."
How…how are you able to still smile like that?
"I'm not going to take you back to the office just yet if you're wondering," Kushina broke in, smiling all the same. "I just came up here to check up on you and offer my opinion if you needed it."
"B-But why?" Obito spoke up again, and Rin wasn't expecting the pure anguish in his voice. Then again, with the lump in her own throat, it was nice that he was stepping up to speak for both of them. "K-Kushina-san, how are you handling this? Why are you smiling like that when we just had the biggest mind-fuck ever?" Obito shuddered, and the close distance let Rin know that he was still shocked. "We—we would've—"
The Uzumaki woman only blinked, clearly caught off guard by the question, before smiling again, more solemnly this time. "See, I thought it through and rolled with the punches, to summarize."
…What?
"What do you mean by that, Kushina-san?" Rin found herself saying. She didn't even have time to cover up her mouth as Kushina only slightly loosened her grip on the two of them, now inclining her head in a clear sign to continue. "How are we supposed to…to—" Rin cut herself off. Mentioning that girl's name wouldn't make things any better.
Even then, Kushina kept smiling, hugging them both all the same. "To cope? Just by staying together and working together." A breath brushed the top of her head, and Rin didn't miss how Obito tensed in surprise. "I actually found out a majority of this earlier, with Minato, and I admit, it was a hard pill to swallow. I mean, my own death? It sounded ridiculous, dattebane."
Ah. There was that familiar catchphrase.
Kushina's own smile dropped for a more broken frown as she shrugged. "Still, Tomoko-chan was crying when she first told the adults. Judai and Hikari weren't initially included in the group, so she was all alone. Hokage-sama told us in those first few days that it was only between himself, Jiraiya, Minato and me. She couldn't tell you until now because she was ordered not to." Rin found herself freezing with the saliva almost cold in her mouth, and Obito's own twitch said enough. The light bulbs weren't even necessary in showing the truth at this point.
Kushina inclined her head, almost as if she was aware of the ideas going through their heads and continued. "I know that everything that was said up until now is hard to process, but it's important to remember the situation we are in. In fact," Kushina smiled brighter this time, and Rin couldn't help but stare in a mix of surprise and awe. "We're much better off than what could have been."
Rin blinked. "H-How, Kushina-san? How is it better?"
"Think about it, Rin-chan," Kushina turned to her with the same smile, and for once this entire day, it felt like Rin could believe it. At least, a little. "Kannabi Bridge was supposed to have ended with only you and Kakashi coming back. Tomoko-chan's visions didn't account for Obito coming back to us. Had he not, Madara would have had his greasy little hands on him. We have a chance to make things better, so that's something, dattebane."
Obito shivered again, but the tears were already disappearing for a more small, triumphant grin. "I-I'm grateful for that."
"Yep," Kushina popped the last syllable with an honest smile in return. "I don't expect the two of you to come back to the office immediately, though. A lot happened, and I understand if you need more time." She squeezed them one last time before letting go, and once she took a few steps back to walk towards the door, all Rin could see was the woman's back and long flowing red hair when the last few words came out. "Just try to find it in your hearts to forgive Tomoko-chan if you can, okay? I can tell you that she didn't mean to hurt you both at all, ttebane. If she did, I wouldn't dote on her at all like you see me doing now."
And with a twist of the doorknob and a soft click, the Uzumaki disappeared from the roof.
Rin let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding in a long huff before putting a hand to her chest. Her heart was still beating hard, but it didn't feel as painful as it was before back in the office. It was lighter—almost, softer, somehow. Kushina-san's words continued to echo in her head, making her previous thoughts feel all the more jarring.
"She didn't mean to hurt you both at all, ttebane."
Really? Did she…did Kushina-san mean it? Did Tomoko-chan really mean it?
Rin took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her thoughts before a hand landed on her shoulder. She tried not to jump, instead turning around to meet Obito's conflicted black eye, staring at her with intrigue.
"Rin?" Obito paused, having opened his mouth in the semblance of saying something, only to stop. It was as if he literally had a cat catch his tongue. "What…what are we supposed to do now?"
"I don't know, Obito," she answered honestly, and her mouth felt all the drier at admitting it. "What do you think? Is Tomoko-chan really at fault here?"
A single second was all it took before Obito furiously shook his head, and Rin didn't realize her own shoulders were relaxing at the sight. "No! No way in hell, Rin. I—" He cut himself off, swiveling his head to the side in order to not meet her eyes. Obito had even let go of her shoulder to clench his fingers into a tight fist, and Rin didn't know what to think. "I know a part of me is angry about the whole situation, but my gut—my heart—is saying that it's not her fault. I just don't know what to think anymore. At all. Or who I can trust now." Obito looked up at her with a wry smile. "But I know, at least, that Tomoko-chan isn't the person I should be blaming. She—even with my arm," he motioned to the stump remaining on his left side with a soft shrug. "She still tried to help me despite my arm, Rin."
"Yeah," Rin said softly.
"And—And," Obito threw his hand up in the air, pinched expression on his face. "Even with the whole love mess, our own missions, and even our living alone…!" He huffed a breath, and Rin could tell that he was somewhat frustrated. "Tomoko-chan still reached out, Rin! And I hate myself for feeling so conflicted about all of it! Was it all a lie? Or was Tomoko-chan really caring for us?"
Before she could even think on what she was saying, Rin opened her mouth with a soft, "I think she was caring for us."
Obito froze.
The words were spilling out honestly. "I-I guess I'm just reeling as much as you are, Obito, but Tomoko-chan did help us. Even…even with my feelings, she—" Rin tried not to choke at the words. "She did say that she loved me too…" The memory was almost scalding in her heart as she continued. "And—And, Kakashi wouldn't just fall for anyone." That truth felt like poison leaving her throat but admitting made the previous pain from the past few weeks lessen significantly. "There's no way she wouldn't have gotten to where she is now if she didn't want to help us, Obito."
"Yeah…yeah, huh." Obito said, quieter now. He huffed a breath, his black eye looking a bit mistier than before, but the small smile tugging at his face again was an improvement. "W-We…we have to head back, huh? And apologize."
Rin finally felt a small smile of her own stretching her cheeks as she raised her head to look at her teammate. "Yeah…yeah, we do."
Obito scratched the back of his head with his hand, cheeks coloring an embarrassed pink as he turned his head away. Rin only blinked as he proceeded to offer his hand, still not meeting her eyes. "W-Wanna walk back together?"
Lub-dub. Lub-dub. Her heart seemed to leap in her chest, and Rin found her own face flushing with heat too before she nodded. It didn't take long for her to put her hand in his, and the rough calluses were something that almost clashed with her own skin.
Still, once they started walking, Rin couldn't deny that their hands were a good fit for each other.
The last thing Kushina was expecting to walk into was the sight of Hoshino Hikari being held at sword point. She didn't even have time to consider what was going on until her hackles were already raised and she nearly stormed into the office.
"What the hell is going on here?" she found herself snapping, and Minato immediately stood at attention once it registered that her hair was standing on end.
"Oh, hello, Kushina-chan," Hikari said coolly, apparently not even fazed by the ANBU holding the sword tip to her throat while speaking. "You just missed me slapping the Third Hokage."
If there was a time for bricks to come down onto her head, this was probably it. "What." she said, swiveling her head to only catch a glimpse of Hiruzen rubbing his now red cheek, before stomping over to the ANBU and pointing an angry finger at them. "Oi, put that down! At least hear her out!"
"Why?" The ANBU droned, clearly not amused judging by the tightening of their grip on the sword handle. "Hoshino Hikari's actions clearly border on treason, Uzumaki-sama. No civilian should be allowed to strike the village leader."
"What happened to at least giving her a chance? If you threaten her, you're just silencing a voice that we might need in this war!" Kushina snapped back, and it was hard to miss the ANBU's miniscule flinch in return. "Minato, you agree with me, don't you?!"
"M-Me?" Minato said, voice tinged with horror.
"Kushina," Sakumo's voice this time, and the Uzumaki turned only to see him sigh. "It's not just about that. You realize we're civilians and Hokage-sama could execute us at any moment if we disobey, right?"
"Well," Hikari interrupted, still talking in the same even tone as before. "That just proves he's not the greatest person in the world, right?"
Kushina didn't even have to look over to know that Judai was gaping. "H-Hikari—"
The ANBU bristled. "How dare you—"
"ANBU-san, please put that sword down," Hiruzen's voice, commanding over all, and Kushina instinctively found her heart calming from trained reflex. The ANBU immediately turned to the Hokage, inclining their head slightly. "Let Hoshino Hikari explain herself. There will not be any executions today."
The masked ninja nodded curtly before taking a step back and sheathing their sword, and the cold in the office finally subsided if not for Kushina's own lingering anger and the pinched expression on Hikari's face. "So," Hikari started. "That's it? You're not going to kill me like everyone else you have?"
"Hikari," Judai's voice again, and Kushina could tell that he was close to panicking. "Shouldn't you—"
"I'm more curious as to why you insinuate that I have," Hiruzen interrupted, and the slight bit of amusement leaking into his voice made Kushina feel on edge. Why— "Last I recall, the simple fact that Yuki Judai is no longer in service and that you have your dream cafe in full swing should make you feel more at ease, no?"
A pause followed. "Initially, yes," Hikari said finally, and her shoulders tensed with her clenched fists. "But things are different now. You didn't say that you would be exploiting my daughter."
"This wasn't personal, Hikari," Hiruzen continued, his voice even and calm. "This was for the sake of the village—"
"Which is it, Hokage-sama?" Hikari cut in, and Kushina could already make out the semblance of rage in her voice. "Is it for the village? Or is it because you couldn't put anyone else up for it aside from yourself?"
"You don't know what's been going on, Hikari," Hiruzen retorted, shaking his head, and nearby, Jiraiya visibly didn't know whether to open his mouth or stay silent. At least, that was what Kushina could sense from the situation. "This war has been going on far longer than you and your family have been involved, and I was doing my best for the sake of minimizing the lives lost. Tomoko-chan had knowledge that connected to everything at hand, and the least I could do was try to make sense of it without bringing in more tension."
"Oh, you're going on that tangent now?" Finally, it looked like Hiruzen was taken aback as Hikari shook her head vigorously. "Protecting the village? Making sure no one dies? What is that worth? You're sending teenagers—children—out there on the front lines to fight for you! Risking their lives when all they need is a warm home and support so that they can survive! You're making my daughter—my only child—suffer and break emotionally because you needed information! There was always another choice! You could've done something else! Instead, all you did was just put others in harm's way instead of yourself!"
Kushina didn't even notice the office doors opening again until Tomoko, Kakashi, Obito, and Rin were all walking in, staring at the scene with wide eyes.
"Hikari, you are currently stepping out of line. I would advise you to stop now." Hiruzen said, and the air chilled yet again. Kushina wanted to speak, to yell too, but for once, her instincts and loyalties were fighting with one another. This was a completely different situation.
"And what?" Hikari raised her chin, crossing her arms. "Kill me? Execute me for talking out of line? All I'm saying is the truth."
Hiruzen stayed silent. In the room, Kushina could make out Minato's shocked expression as Judai and Sakumo shared wary glances with one another. In the background, she could've sworn she heard a small, "Meep," but the atmosphere was so choking, it was hard to speak. Inwardly, it felt like Kurama stirred.
"I'm not like you. I'm scared, I'm terrified of dying, but I'm still here. I'll take my execution if it means proving my point." Hikari hung her head, looking away stubbornly. "…I was always told by my parents that the Hokage was the greatest person the village could ever have. The one ninja that could pull all of us out of the toughest situations. That no matter what happened, he would do the right thing if it meant no one dying." She took a breath.
"Did you kill that man too?"
Hiruzen froze, his mouth left gaping open before he turned away with his swiveling chair.
The ANBU from before was standing almost like a stone statue, and in turn, Jiraiya was looking as if he had just swallowed a lemon.
"Fuck, Hikari," Judai said finally. Kushina didn't even know if that was a compliment, insult, or a mere statement in the face of what had happened.
Hikari shook her head, fists clenching again, before looking up and spitting out the last words. "The world needs to change, Hokage-sama. You can't just let this stand. Because if you plan on using my daughter and her friends again for the sake of the greater good, I will come back from hell and make sure you can't get a good night's sleep ever again." Her blue eyes narrowed in the face of Hiruzen continuing to stay silent in his desk chair. "What is this 'peace' and 'Will of Fire' you talk about when all it relies on is the blood and tears of the children you said you were protecting in the Academy? When it grows from the pain of other humans?" She bit her lip, and Kushina could've sworn she saw the beginnings of a cut from the first trickles of blood. "What kind of victory is it when you might even sacrifice your own son to the war?"
Kushina then could hear Tomoko's own pained gasp, and she immediately walked over to place a hand on the girl's shoulder. Team Minato seemed to be shielding her enough with their shared group hug, but the least she could do was provide support.
"Hikari…" Hiruzen said finally. "I—"
"I'm not betraying Konoha, if you're thinking that," Hikari interrupted with a raised hand. "Konoha is still my home. I'm not a missing nin—just a simple violinist who's standing here to talk. I don't have the power to do anything but that." She shook her head again, more furiously this time, and her black hair whipped her face. "Your ANBU might see my words as treason, but all I want you to know is my perspective. My truth that I've come to know through all these years. If you don't see a problem, I'm going to point it out. You're the goddamn Professor, the creator of so many Jutsu and the teacher of the Sannin. You should at least be able to find a better way."
"…" Hiruzen went silent again, his chair swiveling so much to where no one in the office but Jiraiya (who stood at the side of the Hokage's desk) could see the chair's back. Judai opened his mouth but closed it.
"Even if you don't say it, the civilians rely on you too, Hokage-sama," Hikari took a few steps back, and then rested a gentle hand on Tomoko's head, making the girl look up as Kushina glanced over to see fire in those blue eyes. "Try to do a better job of thinking about them too."
"…Noted," Hiruzen said finally, and Kushina noticed the ache of tiredness in his voice. "Is that all?"
"I'd like if we all could be excused now," Hikari said flatly, voice more even in comparison to her quiet rage, but still containing hints of frustration. "You've made my daughter and other kids suffer enough already."
Kakashi, Obito, and Rin all turned their heads to look up at the woman, but Hikari didn't show any sign of acknowledgement aside from a warm, almost calm hum in their direction. Kushina was already feeling her heart break at the surprise clearly showing in their shared gazes.
"Alright," he continued, saving a hand without turning around in his chair. "You and your family may go, Hikari. Just allow Minato, Kushina, and Jiraiya to stay for now."
Sakumo and Judai both looked at one another, clearly confused at the change of events before shrugging and proceeding to walk. Both men passed Kushina for a moment, sharing looks of sympathy and tiredness before Hiruzen spoke again.
"Oh, and Hikari?"
The teens were already out in the hallway with Hikari gently ushering them out with her arms before she turned her head. "Yes, Hokage-sama?"
"I would prefer if the information we talked about today is not revealed to anyone else aside from this group of people." Even though it was quiet, everyone could make out a soft, exhausted sigh. "We do not need ears where we don't need them."
"Noted," Hikari said, almost intentionally repeating Hiruzen's earlier words before turning her head back to the hallway and walking out. "Thank you."
Kushina couldn't even remember hearing such a stiff 'Thank you' in her entire life before the entire Hoshino household plus Obito and Rin disappeared into the hallway.
Once the door closed on them, the desk chair finally swiveled around to reveal a hatless Hiruzen, his Hokage cap sitting on his lap as he put his face in his hands.
"…What have we done, Minato?" he said finally.
Kushina turned to her special other just as Minato stood to attention with a tired expression of his own. "We haven't done the best we could have," he responded, just as quiet, before crossing his arms. "We have to do better."
"…Indeed," Jiraiya said finally, and the ANBU from before only nodded stiffly before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
Kushina found herself sighing, rolling her shoulders to get out any knots before speaking. "So," she said for the first time in that office. "What now?"
Once we had all came back home to Nagareboshi Cafe, I felt like I could sleep for a few months at best now. So much had happened, and the fact that Mama and Papa had yet to say anything on the walk back said so much. All that I could think about was really Obito and Rin's presences near me, Kakashi's grip on my right hand, and how no one was speaking up.
Hell. Hisako summed it up best.
What are we going to do, Tomoko-chan?
I didn't know. All I wanted to do was sleep and hide away.
I didn't even realize Mama and Papa had unlocked the cafe doors to usher us all up the stairs and into the house without skipping a beat, the same silence permeating the air throughout.
"Well," Uncle Sakumo started, breaking the ice with a more chipper tone to his voice than usual. "How about we all just rest for now? I think we all need a good nap?"
"Nap?" Papa interrupted, and it only vaguely registered in my head that his cheerfulness was coming back. "Sakumo, you realize we kinda just walked out of metaphorical hell with a profound tired-mood for everyone involved?"
It only took a second for Obito to laugh, and I looked up only to see him grin wryly. "Judai-san, I think 'tired' is an understatement. And…" he paused, blinking earnestly. "Profound? Why profound?"
"Uh," Papa said, and he proceeded to turn red. "Well," he tried to wave it off with a large hand wave, but to be honest, it just made him look silly. "I kinda just saw my own wife get away with talking off the Hokage's head like he deserved, but also narrowly avoiding death, so I don't know what to think?"
"Oh, you," Mama interrupted, and the warmth in her voice was hard to miss. Strangely, despite everything that had happened, it felt like things were going back to normal. "I missed that dorkiness of yours, Judai. Where did it go?"
"Hikari," Papa replied, and I could've sworn he started turning redder. "The kids are here."
Rin started to snicker, albeit slowly, but it was still a laugh.
I found myself smiling shakily. "Okay then," I said, my voice high-pitched from everything. "Let's just get the futons and sleep. I'm…just out of it too."
Kakashi squeezed my hand, and I turned only to meet his warm silver eye, staring at me with fond exasperation. "Yeah," he said, quiet. "Yeah."
Obito and Rin only looked at each other before speeding off, and I couldn't even catch their shouts of, "We'll handle it!" before they disappeared.
Uh, Hisako said. What just happened? Did they forgive you?
I think? I didn't know what else to say aside from that.
Hisako only hugged me as a response, muttering something to herself.
Papa still looped an arm around Mama's waist to pull her in for a peck on the cheek, frowning. "We will have to talk about everything earlier though, Hikari, I'm not letting you go for that." Uncle Sakumo only had to glance at the scene before facepalming, and to my surprise, Kakashi started to chuckle himself, just as Mama started to pout up at Papa with furrowed eyebrows.
"Judai," she said.
"Hikari," he muttered back.
I freely admit it. I started laughing a bit too. More so when Obito and Rin ran back into the living room later with the largest pile of blankets and futon covers in hand.
I wasn't expecting it to be normal, but that didn't mean I didn't love it any less.
Before I could head out into the living room that night for the impromptu sleepover, a hand landed on my shoulder. "Tomoko-chan?"
Without even skipping a beat, I held back my squeak of surprise to turn around and meet Papa's curious brown eyes. "Yes, Papa?"
He smiled again, a truer one this time in comparison to the strained ones from earlier today while looking at me. "Before I let you go, just let me ask one thing?"
"Um, sure?" I said reflexively, already feeling the confusion pile on top of my exhaustion. "What is it?"
"…" Papa paused, opening his mouth for a moment before inclining his head in contemplation. "How to put this…" he muttered.
Um. Hisako said. Should I have a bad feeling or not?
Papa sighed, muttered a soft curse that sounded similar to, "Fuck it," before he glanced back at me with a more sheepish smile. "Earlier today, was that all there was to your story? It sounded like there was something else you wanted to say. Perhaps something that related to how you knew everything that was mentioned today?"
My heart immediately froze as my mouth dried up. "I—" I stumbled, trying to find my footing again because of course the peace wouldn't last. Of course there would be questions. "I—"
Leo's voice only echoed in my head again, almost mocking me, and I couldn't help but want to curse myself at how cowardly I was being.
Just say it. Just say that you're a reincarnation and don't deserve all this, dammit!
But I couldn't say it. When I look back at it, I don't think I ever could have at the time, because a part of me, some small part of me, wanted to be selfish. Wanted to avoid this, and just accept the fact that in spite of my knowledge, in spite of my remaining secret that consisted of my reincarnation status, that Papa would still have me. That everyone I knew would still accept me.
Before I could say anything else, Papa sighed before he leaned in to kiss the top of my forehead. "Sorry," he muttered against my hair, and I couldn't help but notice the soft waver in his voice. "I didn't mean to push you, hime. I just wanted to know if there was anything else I could do. Today was hard enough on all of us." He pulled away, and I looked up only to get a glimpse of his bright smile through his white teeth. "But hey," Papa leaned in again, and I tried not to tense up from the distance, only to stop shivering once his forehead bumped mine. "No matter what happens? I'll still love you, Tomoko-chan. You're my only daughter, my little hime, and for everything you've been through, I'm proud of you."
I didn't even realize tears were bubbling up in my eyes again before Papa was reaching up to wipe at them, and once his hand was already brushing the first waterfalls away, I lurched forward to pull him into a hug. I didn't have any other words. All I could think about was how grateful I was, and how things really did turn out somewhat okay.
Inwardly, Hisako sighed before giving me my own mental hug, squeezing tightly. I love you too, Tomoko-chan. Never forget that either.
I nodded. "I-I love you too," I said, in response to both Papa and her. "I love you too…!"
Papa only smiled before pushing me back slightly to stare at me again. "No more tears now, sweetheart. You still have to spend time with your friends, okay?"
He didn't need to tell me twice. All Papa did was twirl me around and push me forward, and I was already walking again towards the living room before swiveling my head to look back at him.
"Thank you, Daddy," I said honestly, and he didn't even flinch before waving at me.
Thank you for loving me.
The living room in turn wasn't that far away, and once I got to the center of futons, Obito and Rin were already offering their arms, and I leapt over to hug them too.
"Sorry for earlier, Tomoko-chan," Obito whispered, and even with one arm, his grip was strong and firm in supporting all of us. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too," Rin added, just as solemn, but the amount of sincerity in the words were enough to make me want to start crying again. "I didn't mean for things to get so tense like that. Or to run away."
"It's okay," I said, voice shaking, but it was still something. "I don't mind. You both are here, and I'm just glad."
A second was all it took before another, more familiar pair of arms wrapped around us all, and once the scent of pines was registering in my nose, a masked nose was already brushing my hair. "Let's just get some sleep?" Kakashi said finally, smiling through the fabric.
"Mm," I said, unable to say much else. "Please?"
The sun wasn't even fully down in the horizon before we all were huddled in futon covers, leaning against one another. I couldn't even remember if the previous sleepover turned out like this, but the least I could take in were the warm smiles from everyone else.
The last thing I could remember from that night was a masked mouth brushing my head in a kiss before I fell asleep.
Author's Notes: I didn't mean for this chapter to come out so late, and all I can say is an apology. The emotions that were going through me when writing this chapter made it difficult to write, more so with all the plot threads building up to this point, and with school nearly rushing my head more so than previous quarters, writing was difficult.
Nonetheless, I have to thank you all, old and new readers both, for waiting so patiently. I can't guarantee fast updates anymore because college is only going to get harder for me with the near end of my sophomore year and moving onto junior year, but I'm not going to stop writing.
For now, I'll just be putting down my laptop screen and handling my work, brainstorming the next chapter for you all to enjoy.
This is Writer-and-Artist27, signing out with a sigh. Thanks again, everyone.