Disclaimer: Still not mine

A/N: Okay, I know I said I was going out of town and not updating, but after some of the reviews, I felt like I needed to post a chapter to show how Rory got to the point she is and that it isn't about the money or the prestige of being a socialite, but instead is focused around her desire to be a mother, a wonderful and involved mother; I think any of you working moms out there reading this will be able to relate to her thinking and reasoning for why she wants to not work, children change you, they change what you want out of life, and working moms are usually filled with so much guilt for missing things, or being to busy to be a part of the PTA or make it to all the extra curriculars. . . .That is what I am trying to capture in her character, not her desire to be just like Shira or Emily, but to fit into that world and still manage to be herself at the same time.

I hope you enjoy! And as always, please review

Chapter 19

Rory sat down behind the desk and opened her computer. She stared at the screen in front of her and closed her eyes for a second; the book she had started about her and her mom's life was so much harder for her to write now, so much had changed between them and it hurt so much to think about it. She knew she wasn't completely innocent in the rift between her and her mother, but she also wasn't the only one responsible for their fight.

She opened her eyes and began writing; she started writing about the good times and the bad times of her growing up, she explored both sides of her childhood; both what was said and what was left unsaid, what she enjoyed and what she had wished was different. The words just flew out of her and onto the computer screen and it felt so therapeutic to get it all out. By the time she was done, she looked at the word count and saw that she had written another 30 pages of her book; she forgot how much she loved writing, even if it had only been a few months since she had written anything, it felt like it had been years.

She stared down at her left hand and the beautiful ring that sat on her ring finger and her mind started drifting. She had changed a lot over the last few months, some people would say that she was a completely different person; that she wasn't the same Rory she had always been; the fierce and independent woman who was going to take the world by storm. Reality was, she wasn't succeeding at taking the world by storm and she had barely succeeded at being independent. She wasn't sure where things went sideways, it had started out so great with the job on the campaign trail; some of her stories had even been nationally published, but then she had gone stagnant, hit a plateau. There were jobs here and there, she had gotten picked up by the New Yorker for a story; but the full time position just wasn't there and she had floundered. She had ended up back in Stars Hollow at her mom's house in her old bedroom working at the Stars Hollow Gazette for a pitiful pay that wouldn't even allow her to pay rent and utilities, let alone anything extra, and her stuff was in boxes scattered between London (well I guess the London boxes were probably actually in New Hampshire now), Stars Hollow, and Hartford. She had fallen so far from the golden child of Stars Hollow and it had killed her spirit.

The move to the insurance company had been one of necessity so she didn't really regret putting in her notice now that she and Logan were getting married; she really looked forward to raising her children without having to run off to various places for work. She had seen how much her grandfather had traveled over the years, heard the stories from her mom about how much he had traveled when she was growing up, and she didn't want that; it wasn't about the fact that she was going to be a Huntzberger and Huntzberger women didn't work, it was about her experiencing all the milestones and being there to help them get ready for school dances, be at their sporting events if the played any sports, or their band concerts, or gymnastics, or dance, or whatever it is that they are doing at the time; she wanted to be there. She knew she wasn't going to be a perfect mom, but she really hoped she was as close to her children as her and her mom had been growing up. Recently she had brought up a lot of the bad things, the things she had resented, but overall her mom had been her best friend and she really really missed her.

)( )(

Lorelai stared at the phone; she had started to dial Rory's number about fifty times. It had been about a week since Rory had come to the house and told her that she was getting married and she had thought about the fight that ensued every day; she played the words over in her head countless times; there had been so many things that she had not ever realized bothered Rory about the way she had grown up, and she was so mad at herself the she had missed it, that she had let her stubborn pride to do things on her own, away from her parents, make Rory feel so torn between worlds. Part of her knew that she was being irrational, that all people from money were not these evil vindictive people; but she also hated that world and the way it worked, the way you really couldn't trust anyone and there always seemed to be an ulterior motive. Unfortunately, she had let this hatred infringe on her relationship with Rory; she knew she needed to try and be supportive, she wanted to be there when Rory became a mom, she wanted to be the first person Rory called when she had a question about one of the babies or when she just needed some help because she was exhausted and hadn't slept for more than 2 hours at a time in days or weeks; she wanted to be there to watch her grandchildren grow up. It hadn't escaped her attention that Rory said something about both a girl and a boy, which sounded like she was having twins; her daughter was having twins and she had found out during a fight! She should have been there with her the day she found out, or at least been the first phone call she made, but she wasn't, she hadn't been, she was looking in from the outside on her daughter's life and it was killing her.

Her mental rant was cut short by the vibration of her phone, she looked down and saw Rory's name and wasn't sure what to expect. She answered the phone hesitantly but excited as well. "Hey kid, what's up? Everything okay?"

"No mom, everything is not okay, I miss you okay? I miss us and I would really like to talk. Can you come over tonight and have dinner with me and Logan?" Rory wasn't sure how her mom was going to respond, but she knew she needed to put the olive branch out there; she had to at least try one more time.

"Uhm, yeah, sure I can come tonight." Lorelai was surprised but happy, maybe she and Rory would be able to get over this after all.

"Okay, uhm great, see you at 7." Rory felt awkward and unnatural and it didn't feel like she was talking to her mom; hopefully they will be able to mend their relationship, and hopefully her mom doesn't completely freak out when she tells her that she isn't going to work anymore and instead is going to basically be an Emily Gilmore.