These are strange strange days, people out here are going slightly mad but when I sit in my garden, with the sun kissing my cheeks, I found my tiny moment of happiness. I truly hope that by reading this lines, you can find yours!
Enjoy!
xx
L.
CHAPTER 9
My past has tasted bitter
For years now
So I wield an iron fist
Grace is just weakness
Or so I've been told
I've been cold, I've been merciless
But the blood on my hands scares me to death
Maybe I'm waking up today
Jaymes Young –" I'll be good"
~•~•~•~
When Loki woke up, the following morning, the dawn was pushing its way hard through the outcoming night and the sky looked mashed up. For the first time after a long time, Lisa was sitting, awake; her shoulders against the trunk of a oak; nevertheless, she still resembled a marionette whose strings had been cut. Loki didn't even remember how long he had been waiting for that moment, and yet, seeing her responsive again , caught him unprepared and threw him in a state of agitation and discomfort. He swallowed hard and stepped towards her. Then, he crouched beside her, without saying a word. Her profile stood imobile in the early- morning light.
"Lisandra " he eventually whispered, filled with unease. Her gaze was blank and she gave no hint of comprehension. It was like her body was there while her mind, lost, miles away .
"Lis, darling, it's me" Loki tried again. He streched out his fingers and gently brushed the back of her hand.
That soft touch was like a jolt to her and her reaction came sudden and violent: she reflexively jerked her arm and legs back and with the other hand, pushed him away with such a brute force, that Loki misbalanced and fell ruinously on his back , smashing his right shoulder blade into a stone. The sore pain cut his breath out and for a moment, his vision went fuzzy. When he finally picked himself up, his still bewildered eyes met Lisa's and the deep, irrational, furious scorn he read in them shook him to the core and gave him shivers.
~•~•~•~
The rest of the week went by with a draining slowness and the conversation between them didn't experience any improvement. Loki was still too troubled by what he had seen Lisa, on the other hand, still carrying the burden of the violence she had undergone, had chosen to entrench herself behind a deafening silence, and refused any kind of contact, either verbal or phisical with his travel companion. Sometimes, when he faked not to notice , she gave him quick, shy glances but the memories of the turtures she had been victim of, were still too vivid for her ricovery to be fast.
One night, after a frugal meal, Loki had picked some bluebells for her and had placed them by her side. A simple , apparently insignificant gesture but when he saw her lips wrinkled by a slight smile, that gesture appeared like a great achievement to him because, despite minimal, it gave him the hope of being on the right path to take her away from her demons.
"Tess" she murmured unexpectedly the evening after, making Loki's heart sink once again.
"Pardon?" He asked . His eyes widened in surprise.
"Tess" she repeated, keeping her gaze on the dazzling fire. It's my daugther's name. "Theresa, actually." She added. "I'd never told you."
"Thank you for sharing this with me." Loki replied, sincerely moved but Lisa had already stopped listening to him and had gone back holing up in her silence.
~•~•~•~
"Away from me!" Lisa hissed fiercely as Loki knealed next to her, to medicate her wound. This time, though, he kept still and went on.
"Your wound still need treatments". He explained to her patiently. "Just some minutes and I'll leave you alone, you won't even feel it. Trust me. "
She glared at him " Trust?" She seethed. "Who? You? No, thanks, I will never make this mistake again. The last time I gave you my trust , you threw me like a bone to that merciless godless animal, without batting an eye." Loki stiffened about to talk back but she hushed him harshly. "Don't you dare! There's no excuse for what you have done to me. At least have the decency not to waste your breath and keep your mouth shut."
Loki fell silent. In other circumstances he would have easily found some sharp words to retort but in that occasion, he felt filthy and defenselessly exposed. That was the plain truth and there was really nothing else to say.