Chapter 29: Up Down and Sideways
Hello again! I had to skip last month's update for reasons, primarily because picking a graduate school is like being in the Bachelorette or something. All these schools are vying for you and you get to spend a day or two with all of them and they try their best to woo you with shiny machines and interesting people and at the end you're just exhausted.
I go t e. It was weird. But chemists are a fun bunch.
Anyway, enjoy this long chapter that was heavily influenced by my incredible flux of emotions these past two months. And if you want something different to read, I'm just going to briefly mention this other Ultimate Spider-Man story I'm toying with called Split, and an MCU one called Flashback. Just . . . yeah, they're out there manifesting my even angstier feelings.
Thank you for your patience.
Pink Lemonade: Thank you so much! Ava is quickly becoming my second favorite character to write aside from Spidey. I had no idea she would be getting such a big role in this story. She's so fierce and different, but she's still human too. I'm relieved the dream sequence came out well. It went through several revisions. Sorry for the long wait with this chapter!
This morning, Peter woke up vaguely troubled.
He'd had the dream again. The dinosaur one. He'd had it during his nap in the Med Bay too yesterday, and this latest one was sort of a continuation of it. Which . . . he wasn't really happy about, but he was grateful that neither had been like the first one where he bit the dinosaur. If they had been, he probably would have woken up in a cold sweat and maybe even screaming, and that would have been terribly embarrassing to do in front of anyone yesterday. Having people around to witness his nightmares had been the absolute worst part of letting the team stay when the Helicarrier was being rebuilt.
So how was this dream not like a nightmare? He was pretty sure he was still intent on trying to take down the T-Rex, but he still couldn't manage it. Why? Because the T-Rex and Rhino were battling it out in Flash's scrapyard. Peter tried to stop them, but they were too big to stop alone, and he was just barely avoiding getting squashed. The more frustrated he got, the more he felt the pressure in his mouth. Knowing more about his venom now, he calculated the amount of venom he would need for both brutes and came up with the exact amount of 3.14159265 pizza boxes, which—
What? 3.14159265 pizza boxes? Peter started laughing quietly. It appeared that even his subconscious had a sense of humor.
Anyway, after he calculated that value, he determined that he did not have enough venom, and so there was no point in trying to bite either of them. That was good, kind of. He would have preferred not wanting to bite them period, but he would take logically coming to that conclusion too. After that, he found a giant version of Ava's Hello Kitty stress ball instead—
He laughed again. Why had he been troubled by this dream? It was downright hilarious! It even had a great ending.
But what was the ending? What happened after the giant Hello Kitty head?
Peter tried to recall the end as he got himself ready for the day. Remembering dreams was always a hassle though. Give him the periodic table or Avogadro's number, and he could remember those with no problem. But dreams? There was no neat path of logic to lead you to the answer. Dream memories were just a big mess of sight, sound, and vague emotions that lingered and left you feeling like you were missing something. They were impossible.
Setting aside his disgruntled feelings towards dreams, he finished up with his morning routine and went to wake Phoebe. She was sleeping peacefully in her new bed. Peter took a moment to watch her. It wasn't exactly like watching other baby animals sleep, but it wasn't exactly unlike them either. Sure, she didn't have the cute paws of a puppy or the whiskers of a kitten, but Phoebe was adorable in her own ways. Her hair was soft and smooth. She was light, but just heavy enough to feel like a pleasant weight when she was on him. When she was awake her eyes twinkled with mirth and wit. And she liked to curl up for warmth, which made her look like a little ball of fluff.
They had come a long way from when he'd been terrified of her. He grinned ruefully as he remembered how scary that first night had been after the Savage Lands. Hearing disembodied voices in his head and waking up in the middle of the night to bright reflective eyes was not fun, but after the initial shock he had really warmed up to her. It didn't matter that she encouraged his spidery habits. It wasn't her fault they were there in the first place. It wasn't even her fault that she was here. That was all Peter's fault and responsibility.
Peter was no stranger to feeling protective, but Phoebe amplified it. She was just a kid. A baby. Their conversation last night proved that. And so did the way she hugged her Captain America action figure.
Maybe he ought to buy her a plush animal to hug. Did anyone make spider plushies? He'd never seen one. The only spider-based toys were either scary Halloween ones, or Spider-Man figures recently.
Spiders had such a bad reputation. No wonder Aunt May wasn't happy when he acted like them.
That thought entered his head like a bullet shattering glass. Because it was true. It wasn't speculation anymore. It was just the truth and Peter didn't want to think about it.
But he was going to see his aunt at breakfast. She was going to talk to him and ruffle his hair and—Would she know, just by looking at him, that he still wanted to do some spidery things? Would she be able to tell that he didn't want to agree with her?
Well, there was only one way to find out.
Later. At breakfast. No need to rush the inevitable.
Peter continued on with what he originally meant to do, opening Phoebe's Jungle Box and rubbing her back. "Wakey, wakey, Phoebe. It's almost breakfast time." Phoebe stretched out, rolling over to look at him and nearly falling out of bed in the process. Peter had to hold her. "You're not used to sleeping in a small bed, are you? You're used to my big bed."
Phoebe like small bed.
"I know you do. I'm just teasing."
Teasing?
"I'm saying something kind of funny about you, even if it isn't entirely true."
Phoebe not like teasing, she pouted.
"Okay, I'm sorry. Maybe I make too many jokes. But if it makes you feel any better, you can tease me any time you want. I won't mind."
Phoebe's mandibles curled mischievously. She spent a good minute in silence, and Peter had a good idea of what she was thinking of. Speter fall off bed first, she said teasingly.
"Oof, you're right, I did fall off my bed a few days ago. In my defense, that was Sam's fault." He grinned at her attempt. Would comedy lessons be helpful for a little spider? Peter wasn't sure, but he did know that Phoebe needed them. "Are you ready for breakfast now?"
Climbing up his arm, Phoebe giggled. Do Bug Game?
The terrible thing was, Peter sort of did want to do the Bug Game with her. It was fun and delicious and it made Phoebe happy. But if May knew . . . he didn't want to know what she would say at this point. "I don't think I'll join you today, alright? There are some things I need to sort through. But you can play it in your Jungle Box. I'll set it up for you."
A wave of sad disappointment emanated from Phoebe. But Speter want to.
Telepathy was way more annoying than television made it seem. "I know. I'm sorry. I just can't. Not today. Maybe not tomorrow either. I'm sorry."
Why Speter scared?
"I'm not scared! I mean . . . I sort of am. My aunt probably wouldn't like the Bug Game, okay? She doesn't want me to do spidery things and that is like the most spidery thing I could possibly do."
But Speter spider.
"I'm only part spider," Peter said halfheartedly. Phoebe didn't seem to care about that distinction. Not that it really mattered around her. He probably looked plenty spidery crawling around the ceiling with her and hunting crickets. Hunting, like he wasn't supposed to do. May was going to be so upset when she found out.
Remember, Speter not problem.
Pleasantly surprised, Peter smiled widely. "You really listened to me last night, hm?" Maybe she had a real point too. Being himself wasn't necessarily a problem. It was letting people see him at his worst that was a problem, and May had already seen him during worse times than anyone else. "Thanks. I'll try to remember that. So what do you say to a regular breakfast today, and then we should still have time for a lesson."
They went through their usual routine, eating some crickets and having a quick math lesson. Peter decided to eat some live crickets to prove that being part spider wasn't completely a problem, and Phoebe appreciated that. When it came time to put her back in her Jungle Box, she asked him if he was okay. Peter reassured her that everything was fine. Because it was fine, right here in his room.
Going down to his proper breakfast was another story.
Peter was sort of expecting his aunt to act all worried and ask him if he needed to use some venom before school. Which he didn't. A part of him thought that using some venom every day would be a surefire way to ensure he didn't use it on anyone else. But he didn't really want to do that. He didn't want to use it daily for any reason.
Plus there was that other part of him that thought venom was to be used sparingly only when needed. That didn't exactly counteract with what he wanted, so he tried not to worry about it. Yet. If that was the part of him that wanted to bite Rhino yesterday (which he had a feeling it was) then it would be an issue, but until then he was going to focus on one thing at a time.
Anyway, instead of worrying, May was acting like her normal chipper self. She already had a large breakfast ready by the time he came down, and she welcomed him as if she hadn't confessed her fear of him last night, as if it wasn't particularly bothering her since she didn't know what her nephew was really up to.
It simultaneously calmed him and tied his stomach up in knots knowing that she didn't know yet. She wasn't angry yet.
Yet being the operative word here.
"More toast, Peter?" May asked as she buttered her own.
"Hm? Oh, um, no thanks. I'm good."
"Are you ready for school today? You haven't really had a chance to do any homework for a while."
Peter aborted his latest bite of sandwich. "I know, but Fury takes care of that. The whole team gets extensions whenever this happens, so we still have to do the work, but we're not choking on it. After the science fair this weekend I plan to get most of it done."
"Fury isn't going to give you extra training again, right? You kids deserve a break."
"I doubt it. He only did that this past weekend because of me." Peter idly pulled some crust off of his bread, glancing at his wrist. "I had these new organs to get used to, you know?"
Why did he say that? He didn't want to talk about that again yet. He shouldn't have reminded her so soon. Things were going so smoothly, but his mouth always got ahead of himself.
"New organs?" May repeated, somewhat confused. "Oh, you mean your spinnerets. How are you doing with them now? You're not accidentally webbing around anymore?"
Peter felt his face heat up, so he hid behind his sandwich. "No, I'm not. Everything's under control. I mean, I'm still not perfect with them when I'm using my web shooters, since the movements are so similar, but I'll get plenty of practice." His suit had been nearly impossible to take off last night because of the silk build up in his sleeves. He had to resort to ripping it off, but that suit had been ruined with Luke's blood anyway so it wasn't a huge loss.
"Good," May said, oblivious to the full extent of his wardrobe malfunction. "So long as you feel comfortable in school."
"Oh yeah, I'll be fine at school. Everything was cool yesterday, except . . ."
"What?"
"Harry and MJ." Peter sighed. "I was kind of hoping things would be easier now that they think I've met Spider-Man, but they're just trying to get me to pick a side."
"Are you going to explain your side?"
"My side? I don't have a side, May. I can't."
May turned her head quizzically. "Why not?"
This topic wasn't easy either, but at least it was easier than the previous one. "Setting aside any attempts at being humble, picking any side, even my own, isn't going to help. I don't want to keep arguing with them and get involved in their politics. I just want them to—to act like friends again."
"I understand, sweetie. They've been . . . picking different directions for their lives. MJ is making excellent connections in the world of journalism and the arts. Meanwhile, Harry is probably thinking of taking over his dad's company, and the Osborns never liked reporters of any sort. You were always the glue that held them together, but glue can only go so far."
"Especially when that glue is Spider-Man," Peter muttered, losing interest in the rest of his breakfast, but he took another bite of his sandwich anyway. He'd learned his lesson about skipping meals ages ago.
"Spider-Man isn't the problem here, Peter. It's not your fault if you're trying to start your career too. People move apart naturally. You three just happen to have chosen some very interesting career paths."
Peter had to think about that for a moment. She didn't think Spider-Man was a problem? Did she really mean that? It gave him a bit of hope. "I get that, but isn't there supposed to be a way where we can set aside our differences and keep being close?"
May smiled sadly. "This isn't a Disney movie. Things don't always work out perfectly, but we can certainly try. Maybe you can invite them over tonight, catch up, talk about normal things like the science fair—"
"Oh my god the science fair!" Peter dropped his sandwich. "It's this Saturday and I don't even have the poster or any materials ready!"
"Relax, Peter, I know you'll get everything done in time so long as no more rhinos ruin your day."
"Right, yeah, I can do it, probably. But maybe I should ask the team over instead. They don't know the full schematics, but Ava can figure it out and the rest at least know how it functions. They can help me put it all together."
"That sounds like a plan. How about we make it a pizza party night to get your inspiration flowing?" May suggested with a grin.
"You're the best, May." Peter stood and went around the table to give her a quick hug. It was so much less awkward than last night. Why did he keep worrying about her and what she thought? She obviously cared about him. Who else would arrange a pizza party for a science project night? She really was the best.
"You're not too bad yourself, honey. Now go on, get ready, and don't forget your new thermos."
Ah, there it was, but she was just being a concerned guardian, right? It wasn't too different from reminding him to wear his seatbelt or something. "I remember. See you later."
The morning was unseasonably warm and bright, a very pleasant start to the day. Peter strolled slowly to the front of Midtown High, assessing the damage yesterday's fight had caused. It wasn't too bad. There was a broken window and large potholes where Rhino had stomped around. Some debris from Flash's car was still lying around too, but aside from that it was fine.
An improvement from their first days as a team, all things considered.
As he stared, Peter became aware of a certain someone approaching. He waited. He hadn't decided how he was supposed to act towards them after yesterday, so he might as well just wait to see how today's conversation started.
"I was wondering if I would see you today," MJ said as she fell into rhythm beside him.
Peter raised an eyebrow. He never could predict how MJ would start a conversation. "Why wouldn't you? I do go to school here."
MJ shrugged. "I sort of realized how inconsiderate Harry and I were yesterday. I tried to be the bigger person up on the moral high ground, but I still ignored you just like he did. I'm awful."
Hearing her admit to that was music to Peter's ears. "You're not awful, just . . . passionate."
MJ bumped him softly, and Peter blushed at the happy smile she gave him. "You are so nice, do you know that? You have every right to be upset at me this one time. Are you sure you don't want to use this chance to be just a little moody?"
"I mean, I reserve the right to act a little moody if you and Harry go on about Spider-Man again, but I could never stay angry at you." It was true, he couldn't, not with that smile. He was really finding it hard to remember why he'd felt like these people were against him. Aunt May was only worried about him, and MJ was just trying to spread her appreciation for Spider-Man. Those were good things, things he could appreciate.
Sometimes, morning light was enough to make your life seem brighter.
"You better show Harry the same grace or I'm going to start thinking that you're being nice to me just because I'm a girl."
Peter quickly shook his head and held his hands out placatingly. "Of course not! I promise, I try to be a nice guy in general."
"Good. I will have none of your gentlemanly and chivalrous shenanigans."
"Have you been talking to Stan the janitor again?"
"Yes, actually. We stayed in touch after that time the Lizard broke into the school and kidnapped Harry." MJ's smile turned nostalgic and wistful. "It was a scary but fun night. I wish you could have helped us, but then again, I don't think we would have survived if you hadn't gotten Spidey to help."
And there she went, talking about Spider-Man again. Peter was flattered that he was always a trending topic, but it made these conversations so awkward. "Well, yeah, Spidey was probably a way bigger help than I ever could have been."
"I'm sorry, I'm doing it again, aren't I?" MJ frowned. "I'm not trying to compare you two or anything. It's just that you mentioned Stan and that's what he reminds me of."
Peter swallowed, building up the courage to request something so close to the truth. "Could you . . . not talk about Spider-Man today? I understand you have that play, and Harry has . . . other things, but that's all you guys talk about lately. I don't want to get caught up in that too. That's part of the reason why I never told you that I met him."
MJ nodded understandingly. "Of course. I owe you that much after yesterday, Mr. Hero."
Peter's heart skipped a beat. "What do you mean?"
"Don't worry, I'm not talking about any spandex-wearing heroes this time. I'm talking about you. You pulled me away when I wanted to stay and capture whatever that big rhino guy was up to. You might have saved my life." She slung an arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "So thank you, Pete. I don't know what I would do without you."
And his heart began pumping again faster than ever. Even though they were in the sun, Peter could feel MJ's warmth specifically. And he could smell her hair. It smelled so lovely, like some kind of flower. Peter didn't know enough about flowers to say which one, but it tempted him to lean his head on hers, just this one time, just because this was the closest they had been in months . . .
It was decidedly . . . nice, in a strange and slightly scary way. As happy as he felt, his heart was still beating fast, fast enough that it felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest.
Oh. Oh no. That wasn't just his heart. This was too nice. Much too nice. He could feel it start. The vibrations. He was starting to purr.
Peter tried very hard not to appear like he was pushing her away as he pushed her away. "H—hey—um—thanks for—um—apologizing, and stuff. I'm going to—to look for Harry now. Okay?"
MJ blinked at him. "Oh, okay. I can help you look."
"Great idea. We can split up and find him twice as fast. I'll cover the right side of the school, you do the left. See you in a bit."
And with that, Peter started walking away very quickly, holding his breath for as long as he could. He managed to get through several hallways before he had to stop and gasp for air. Some students gave him funny looks, and others waved as they recognized him from the posters, but generally it seemed like a more subdued atmosphere than yesterday. Rhino's attack seemed to have affected the entire student population.
And MJ seemed to still be affecting him. His purring was still revving up.
Why was he still purring? He'd left the source of the warm feeling, and that's how he'd stopped it the last few times. Why was it getting louder instead of dwindling away? MJ hadn't even said or done anything major. All she'd done was compliment him and winked her gorgeous green eyes and sort of hugged him—
Oh no no no. This wasn't happening. He wasn't doing some weird spider mating call thing. He knew he liked her, but this—this wasn't good. This. Wasn't. Happening.
If high school hallways weren't so loud, everyone would have heard him by now.
What was he going to do? Class started soon, and classrooms were quiet. People would be able to hear him then. He had to stop. He needed to stop thinking of MJ's weight against him and her hair—
No, nope, stop thinking. Stop thinking.
At last, the vibrations began to slow. Peter breathed out a sigh of relief and tried to continue to not think about it too much. But he couldn't help but think of the problem in general. Was this really a different kind of purring than he usually did with his friends? Maybe it wasn't. Maybe he was just happy that MJ had apologized. Yeah, that made sense. She was his friend too. Besides, she would kill him if she knew he was purring about her. That was weird.
Well, if it was just regular purring, then he didn't need to worry about it, so for now he could go about his day focusing on regular things like how he only had a few days to create an entire presentation for the science fair. Yup, normal sources of anxiety.
Satisfied that he was done purring, he made his way to class and actually arrived several minutes early, which was impressive. Even after Shield's involvement, Peter had never quite gotten his punctuality back to full perfection. He usually got distracted by something whether it was superhero related or not. Or else he slept in a bit longer than he should.
Using this opportunity, Peter meticulously laid out his arrangement of notetaking supplies in an attempt to calm himself. His notebook was opened without tearing the pages in a rushed frenzy. His pens were set on the edge in his chromatic order from black to blue to orange. His mechanical pencil was clicked and re-clicked until it had just the right amount of lead sticking out. And his calculator claimed its spot in the corner.
By the end of it, Peter felt a lot calmer. It was such a nerdy thing, but at this point he was happy to find serenity in any little way he could. Now he felt ready to take on whatever trouble came his way.
"Parker," a somewhat reedy voice sneered.
Peter gave a small huff. Why did his peaceful moments always come to an end too soon? "Hey, Cho, what's up?"
Amadeus came up and leaned on Peter's desk, pushing his pens askew. "So you really did it, right? You really worked on the Iron Spider suit?"
Frowning up at him, Peter held onto his calm feeling as hard as he could. "Yes. Is that so hard to believe?"
"You've never worked on anything groundbreaking before in your life. I checked. All of your other projects were things like baking soda volcanoes and dioramas."
"Baking soda volcanoes are a classic, especially when you turn it into a dunk tank." The plan had been to dunk Flash back in ninth grade, but sadly the tables turned and Peter had ended up in the vinegar. It still got him first prize though.
"Tony Stark does not waste his time on uncreative people."
"No, he doesn't," Peter agreed, using an interrogation tactic Hawkeye once taught him.
It was enough to make Amadeus pause. "All right, so what did you do to get his attention? Did you have a private project going on?"
"Well, these science fairs aren't the best place to showcase new inventions that don't even have patents." Ooh, that was a really good comeback, and true too! His web shooters couldn't be on display.
Amadeus's eyes narrowed. "What are you hiding, Parker?"
"The same things you would hide if you had thought of them," Peter replied smoothly, then sighed. Witty banter wasn't too much fun when your opponent wasn't really a bad guy. "Look, you're a smart kid, Cho. I'm sure you really do have some good inventions you're keeping hush hush too, and I wish you the best of luck with—"
"Luck?" Amadeus interrupted angrily. "I don't need luck! I've worked hard to get to where I am, and I'm not going to let you pass me just because you caught the attention of a drunk billionaire who—"
"Ahem."
Peter peeked behind Amadeus, eyes going wide. "Harry? What are you doing here?"
"This is my Mandarin class, Pete. What are you doing here? And with him?" Harry glared at Amadeus, well-trimmed eyebrows arching accusingly.
"Mandarin? But I thought . . ." Peter checked his schedule. "Oh, I thought it was already Wednesday, but it's only Tuesday! Thanks, man, it is such a relief to know I have an extra day to prepare."
"Prepare for what? The science fair?" Amadeus interjected. "You're not even ready?!"
"Lay off him, Amadeus. He's worked hard for this."
"Or has he? I bet you paid some people off, Osborn."
Harry rolled his eyes. "As if Pete ever let me use any amount of money on him."
"I let you buy me pizza sometimes," Peter said, beginning to grin. This felt like the good old days when they would stick up for each other. Peter would convince people that Harry wasn't just some rich snob, and Harry would speak up for Peter when he couldn't.
Harry grinned right back. "But you didn't let me get you the whole pizza place."
"What am I going to do with a pizzeria? I don't know the first thing about business."
"There's a lot of math in business, so I'd bet you'd do fine. Anyway, come on, I'll help you pack up your stuff so you can get to your real class."
Finally annoyed enough, Amadeus left them to it. Peter hurriedly stuffed everything back into his bag in a haphazard mess. As he was about to leave, Harry put a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey, Pete, I saw MJ a few minutes ago, and she said you wanted us to stop trying to drag you into our Spider-Man feud. Is that right?"
Peter looked at him. "Well, yeah, I'd appreciate that. I don't want you to think that I don't support either of you, but . . ."
"We're too radical for your tastes," Harry finished for him.
Peter nodded, hopeful for the first time in ages. "You know I like to see the good in people, so I can see MJ's point. But I know . . . I know you're probably kind of right too. Nobody is perfect. Not even Spider-Man."
"He's way far from perfect. He's a menace."
"Would a menace work so hard to make sure your dad wasn't hurt? General Ross and other politicians have been petitioning to have Goblin taken away to somewhere more secure. Spidey is still working on his cure at Shield."
Harry looked away from him, and Peter waited with bated breath to see if he might actually change his mind. Was it too much to hope for? Maybe, but this was the most progress he had made in forever! He waited, watching Harry search for words—
And the first bell rang.
"Uh oh, better get out of here, Pete, or else Mr. Shang-Chi will try to convince you to switch to Mandarin. Don't listen to him! Spanish is so much easier!"
"Right, I'll keep that in mind."
Peter left, walking perhaps a bit too slowly for someone who had just been in a rush. He'd come so close to showing Harry the better side of Spider-Man. It was hard work coming up with monthly reports with Dr. Connors to prove that they were making some sort of progress with the Goblin cure. That was the only thing keeping him from being dealt with in more . . . permanent ways.
That was hardly something to brag about, but Peter was proud of it just the same.
He got to his English class with hardly a moment to spare. This time, he didn't bother bringing out his full arsenal of notetaking supplies. All he grabbed were his notebook and pencil as he tried to pay attention to the lecture.
Forget about worrying about the safety of the city, or even the world. Personal drama was a surefire way to lose focus on a class.
"Psst," someone whispered from nearby. Peter looked up to find that he had sat next to Danny without even noticing. "Are you alright, Peter? Your Chi seems to have been on a roller coaster today."
Peter snorted softly. "You wouldn't be wrong. Maybe we'll talk about it later. Pizza party at my place?"
Danny inclined his head. "I have never declined your aunt's hospitality."
"And can I depend on your artistic flair to help me set up for the science fair?"
"Consider it done."
The teacher looked their way, and both boys pretended to be absorbed in their notes. The team was allowed some level of freedom in school, but they still had to follow the rules like everyone else.
Giving in to the urge to doodle mindlessly, Peter considered the diverse types of friends he'd managed to accumulate. He knew an extremely outgoing playwright, a confident yet stubborn billionaire, and an equally rich but way humbler ninja monk. Then there was an annoying but enthusiastic bucket head, an overly protective powerhouse, and a brainiac who was essentially a warrior princess (not that Ava would ever allow anyone to call her a princess).
And that wasn't counting his tenuous acquaintances with the Avengers and a whole sleuth of other heroes.
It was funny to think he'd once had trouble making friends.
The team was supposed to go on patrol after school, but several things stopped them. For one, Luke's leg wasn't completely healed yet, and his parents weren't sure if he was still susceptible to more cuts, so he was on the bench until they knew more. Then May requested that Peter be given some time to catch up on his schoolwork. And the next thing they knew, Fury announced that they would only be on standby tonight. He would call if any villain showed up.
The knowledge that May's request preceded Fury's decision was never to be made public.
And this was why the pizza party was able to begin early. Six boxes of pizza were stacked on the coffee table in the living room. Poster and paint supplies covered one side of the room. Various papers and blueprints were spread out on the sofa, allowing just enough moving room for the team to sit on the floor and tackle the beast that was 'presenting your own research'.
Ava was honestly excited for this. The last time she'd been in a science fair was the last time she'd attended school regularly, and that was before she lost her dad. This was kind of nostalgic for her. Not to mention that the Iron Spider suit really was pretty cool. She was aware of most of its features, but this was the first time she was able to look at the schematics, and they were complicated and impressive. She could see that the base design was Tony's standard for any iron suit, but beyond that Peter had made quite a few changes and even improvements. His handwriting marked almost every piece of paper.
"Pizza time!" Peter called out as he carried the stack of pizza boxes in. It was a good seven pizzas high and tilting precariously, but he managed to balance them. "I really appreciate you guys helping me out here. I know this was supposed to be my job, with Sam's help since it was his idea, but—"
"It's no trouble at all, Pete," Luke assured him from where he was on the floor. His crutches were gone, but he still didn't want to stand for longer than he had to. "This looks like fun."
"Yeah, I haven't been able to play with paint in ages," Sam agreed, eagerly eyeing the paint set.
Ava rolled her eyes. "So long as you keep this thing looking presentable. This is a science project, not an art piece."
"Anything can be art, though," Danny chimed in. "Making this aesthetically pleasing will only assist in its ability to convey the science."
"That's very true," Peter conceded, placing the boxes on the coffee table. "That's why I need your help. I'm not that great at art."
"You designed your own costume," Danny reminded him. "That's art."
"I didn't come up with the design entirely on my own," Peter admitted. "I got some inspiration for it."
"What did you do? Look up the brightest generic colors a superhero could have?" Sam asked.
"No! I had my reasons. Plus I used my old red and blue hoodie to make the prototype, so that kind of influenced it too."
"Oh yeah, your first homemade one. That thing was the height of fashion."
Peter raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me, Bucket Head, but not all of us get a magic costume change like you do."
"I am awesome like that, aren't I?"
"Or just lazy."
Ava grew tired of their banter. All she wanted to do was get to work on this thing. And maybe there was one more piece to her agenda. She wanted to talk to Peter alone for a moment. "Cut it out, boys. We're never going to get anything done at this rate. Pete and I will go grab some plates and then we'll—"
"Don't worry, I've got the plates and cups," Aunt May declared as she entered the room, her arms full of the supplies. Peter hurriedly went to help her.
"I told you I was coming back for these!" he told her. "Sam just distracted me."
"It's fine, Peter. I can carry a few plates. You can go get the drinks. They're still in the fridge."
Ava was ready to help him, but Peter came back too fast. Their meal was set and they got to work planning out the presentation. She supposed she would have to find some time later, because this was going to be a difficult project. Not only did they have to create the posters, they also had to plan out the short video that would show Peter and Spider-Man in the same room together. It was a smart move on Shield's part to throw any suspicion off of him, and it was pretty funny for the team. Luke and Sam kept joking about it. In fact, they were having a bit too much fun with the idea.
"Shouldn't Peter act really starstruck to meet Spider-Man?" Luke asked.
"Nah, Spidey isn't that cool," Sam replied. "He should talk about how Spider-Man needs the Iron Spider suit to be cooler."
"What if they both fangirl over Tony Stark then? Everyone knows they're both huge fans of him."
"That could work. Ooh! And Spidey can act like he doesn't know anything about the suit's tech since he isn't that smart!"
"But Spidey's worked with robotics before. That'll make people suspicious."
"Right, okay, so what about a short skit scene where Spidey completely fails his first trial with the suit? That's truthful!"
"I can see that, and then Pete can come in and press some buttons and save his hero!"
This banter was getting on Ava's nerves too, but it was also a brainstorming session so she couldn't say they weren't getting any work done. But really, if she had to do something like this herself, she wouldn't turn it into a whole big production. Honestly, she was actually kind of impressed that Peter could keep his two identities so far apart at times. She had never even considered herself to be separate from her White Tiger persona. The amulet was almost as much a part of her as her own nose. Turning it on only connected her to her legacy; it didn't make her someone else. And sure, the monomer of the White Tiger might live on long after her death, but for now she was the White Tiger and the White Tiger was her. That was that. She could lie about being a hero in public, but she couldn't imagine pretending to be two separate entities for an entire video.
"Um, guys," Peter interrupted, clearing his throat. "I appreciate the input, but I need to make it clear that I don't want to seem like I'm for or against Spider-Man. I have spent the past few days trying to convince MJ and Harry that I'm ambivalent about him, and I'm not going to let that go down the drain. Okay?"
"Fine," Sam relented. "But can Spidey still end up messing up his first attempt?"
"Maybe."
Grinning wickedly, Sam started to sketch out some possible scenes. Ava was pretty sure they involved Spider-Man flailing about with the rocket boosters, but it was hard to tell with stick figures.
"How is everything going with Harry and MJ?" Danny asked as he painted symmetrical designs on the poster's border. "Did you get to see them today?"
"I did, yeah. I was actually going to tell you about that." Peter smiled in a sort of weird, embarrassed way. Ava wondered what MJ had said to him today. "I think I'm finally getting through to Harry! At the very least, he and MJ both agreed to talk less about Spider-Man, which is great. I'm sure once they set aside their differences on that front, they'll finally remember why they're friends in the first place."
Ava raised her eyebrows with everyone else. That was surprising, but in a good way. Leave it to three extremely stubborn friends to not give up on each other no matter what.
"That's great!" Luke said. "But why are you smiling like that?"
Peter began to blush a little. He could lie about all sorts of things, but if there was one thing that could crack his facades it was his feelings for certain people. Or embarrassment in general. "No reason. Can't a guy be happy about his friends?"
"I don't know, can you be that happy?"
"Sure I can. It's a big deal for me."
"Mhm." Almost as one, the rest of the team set down whatever they were working on to turn their full attention to Peter. Ava was not usually one to partake in gossip, but after watching this happen a few times she couldn't deny that it was a good bonding exercise. And she was a little nosy by nature.
"Come on, guys." Peter began to rub his neck as his blush spread. "Why can't you just be happy that I'm happy?"
"Because I, for one, will be a lot happier knowing some details," Sam countered. "You only blush like that around MJ."
"Do not!"
"You kind of do," Ava insisted.
Peter glared at them. "Why do you all care so much about my personal life? It took me months to learn anything about you."
"You're our biggest source of somewhat ordinary teenage drama," Sam explained simply. "We didn't get a lot of that at Shield."
That was true. Ava never thought she cared about it, but maybe she did. It was nice to feel like an ordinary teenager sometimes.
Peter's silence stretched for another minute before he relented. "Fine, I'll tell you, but you better not make a big deal about this."
"No promises," everyone replied.
"Of course. Well, um . . ." Peter's blush reached its peak as he spit his answer out in a rush. "I maybe sort of purred with MJ."
Ava couldn't stop from giggling, although she was glad that she was drowned out by the boys who were making a show of gasping and 'ooh'ing. Peter threw some erasers at them.
"Stop it! I purred with all of you so it's not even that weird! She's just a friend, all right? I was happy she apologized! That's all!"
"We know, Pete, we know," Luke said in between chuckles. "But we also know you have a crush on her."
"I—I—no! I don't! Let's keep our priorities straight here! I only told you because I might need help with this in the future. I practically had to run away from her so she wouldn't notice. It was a very close call!"
Everyone sobered up pretty quickly after that. "We're sorry," Ava apologized for the boys before they said anything unhelpful. "And you're right, that could have been a disaster. I'm going to admit that I didn't think you would feel relaxed enough to purr with MJ or anyone else, but . . ." Oh boy, she was going to tease him one more time, wasn't she? If she could indulge her tiger side from time to time, then she could indulge her teenage side too. "If MJ can seduce you like that, then this really might be a problem."
"She didn't seduce me! There was no seduction or any such feelings!"
"Ava might have a point there. What if you start purring every time someone hits on you?" Sam asked half seriously.
"Could that really happen?" Danny asked out of curiosity more than a desire to tease his friend. Only he could ever truly achieve that distinction. "Flirtation is a different sort of love than that of our camaraderie which first started your purring."
Peter's blush was threatening to extend past his ears and into his hairline. "I don't know. I mean, this really wasn't flirting. All she was doing was actually listening to me for once. And maybe she sort of hugged me. That's all. So it was no different than when I purred with you so you can stop thinking too hard about this."
"Right," Luke said, trying to sound like he believed Peter. "So you want to set up a code system to have us bail you out next time?"
"Exactly! I felt so bad leaving her like that. If one of you could help with a quick distraction or excuse then it'll be way easier."
The team exchanged looks. That seemed like a reasonable request. They all had things to hide. Luke had to distract people whenever he was in a situation where he should have gotten cut. Danny had to keep quiet about any Chi readings he did at school, no matter how tempted he was to try to help anxious people. Sam had to pretend like all his exoplanet knowledge came from sci-fi shows (mostly because he could never be quiet about it). And Ava had to act like she didn't smell and hear everything that happened around her, even when people talked about her. Peter usually had the same issue as her, but if this was added on, then it was only one more thing to keep an eye out for.
"No problem, Pete. We got you covered," Luke promised.
"Yeah, we can't let you embarrass yourself in front of your crushes," Sam added, batting his eyelashes.
"We also care about your relationships with your friends," Danny amended.
"And I know what you're dealing with, so of course I'll help," Ava said, earning some stares. "What?" she asked them warily.
"Ava, do you chuff with anyone else at school?" Peter asked slyly.
Her eyes widened as she realized she had unwittingly given him some ammunition against her. "No! I barely tolerate you boys enough to chuff, let alone anyone at school. I hardly know anyone in our classes."
"Oh yeah? What about—"
There was no way she was going to let this conversation shift to her, no matter how misguided it might be. She really didn't know anyone else at school. Except maybe a couple guys on the football team who kept asking her for help with math. But they were dull jocks and she did not care about them in any way. They were just pleasing to look at sometimes. "Pete, if you keep gossiping, we're never going to finish your poster. You do want this finished, right?" She gripped her edge of the poster. She didn't have her claws, but she kept her nails long and hard.
Peter didn't miss her veiled threat, although he seemed mostly amused by it. "Okay, fine. How does this sound for the introduction?"
They got straight back to work as if they hadn't just spent the last few minutes discussing personal drama. Ava loved that about the team. Some of the guys could be childish at times, but they always came through when they had to be professional. Or most of the time, at least. They came through when it really mattered, anyway.
Like now. Ava wouldn't have thought it was possible to finish all this in one night, but they managed it within a few hours. Everyone felt tired at the end though. Their hands were full of glue and paint and Ava's head was nearly throbbing with all of the papers and blueprints she'd read. Thankfully, she didn't need to write anything in technical jargon. Even the Iron Spider suit seemed boring when discussed in jargon. Instead, they translated the key facts into plain English for the general audience.
With red and blue and gold and very well-worded statements, it looked like a science fair masterpiece.
"It is done!" Peter declared dramatically as he held the poster up. The ideas for the video presentation of the suit's abilities were also complete. All he had to do was head to Stark Tower for filming. "Thanks, everyone. I don't think I would have finished any of this in time without you."
"Yeah, yeah, we're here to help and yadda yadda yadda," Sam said dismissively. "But next time we do something civilian as a team, can it be something more fun like bowling?"
"Do we need to remind you that this was your fault in the first place?" Peter raised his eyebrow.
"Oh, right, fine. Rub it in, why don't you? See if I ever do any favors for you again." Sam stuck his tongue out.
"Thank you, that's all I'm asking for." Peter turned to the rest of them, stretching. "Okay, I'll handle clean up. Are any of you interested in a movie now or are we all tired?"
The general consensus was exhaustion, but no one let Peter handle clean-up alone. Everyone helped with either the dishes or the mess of art supplies. Ava made sure to help Peter put everything away in the closet. It got them far enough from the main room that they could have a private conversation.
"Hey, Pete?" she said quietly as they shoved everything in. "Can we have a quick word?"
Peter's brows furrowed. "Sure, what about?"
Ava licked her lips. Apologizing was never easy for her. "I'm sorry if I thought that your aunt had any issues with you and your spider side. I understand I may have—I don't know—I tried to see her as the enemy, I guess. But I see now that she isn't the enemy. She's your family and she loves you no matter what is going on with your DNA."
For some reason, Peter looked really surprised to hear that. Did she apologize so rarely that he couldn't believe his ears? "You . . . Do you really think so?" he asked.
She rolled her eyes. "You're sweet, but you don't need to pretend like I didn't come off that way. I can be harsh and combative sometimes, even when that's not necessary at all."
"No, I mean, do you really think Aunt May still loves me even—even if—"
The boxes weren't heavy, but Ava nearly dropped them anyway from shock. Was Peter Parker asking if his aunt really loved him? That was like an atom asking if it was made up of electrons and protons. "Yes, of course she does! What would make you think otherwise?"
Peter didn't answer right away. In fact, he took an abnormally long time to think about his response. Since when did he think before he spoke? "I just . . . She . . . What she said . . ."
"Are you still worried about what she's said about you?" Ava guessed in an attempt to help him get his thoughts out.
"Something like that," he mumbled.
"Have you talked to her about it yet?"
"We started to broach the topic a little, yeah."
"And what did she say?"
Again, hesitation, and then a long sigh. "She finally believes me about my hunting instincts, and she's worried about them."
"You're worried about them too."
"Yeah, but . . ." Peter shoved the last box onto its shelf, but didn't close the closet door right away. It stood between them and the rest of the people in the house. "I think she's worried about me hurting other people."
"Again, you worry about that too, plus she knows exactly how much it would bother you if you did hurt someone." 'Bother' was such a weak word there, but Ava didn't really know what words would be closer to the truth. "See? I think that I may have led you down a wrong way of thinking the other day. You don't need to act all defensive around your aunt. I know you don't want to worry her, but we all know she's going to worry about you anyway. That's where you got your worrywart tendencies from." She punched his shoulder lightly to keep some level of lightheartedness in the conversation. She hadn't intended it to get this deep again.
"But what if I scare her?" Peter persisted, eyes wide and afraid.
Ava swallowed her own fear. Why did he always come to her for these questions? She had told him time and again how bad she was at giving life advice and being empathetic. Although at least she knew the word was empathetic now and not sympathetic. She had looked up the difference. "Of course your life scares her," she said, succeeding in making Peter look even more afraid. "What I mean is, you're a superhero. She knows the danger you put yourself in, and, quite frankly, I still doubt she knows the full extent of the danger you've been in since you started. Have you ever even told her about that time with the vampires?"
He opened his mouth to answer, but Ava plowed on while she still had some idea of what to say. "Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is that your family are the people most likely to be worried and scared for you. I know my dad always was. He may have let me practice with the amulet at times, but if he had been able to put training wheels on it, he would have. And I know now that he wasn't just afraid that I would get hurt. He was afraid that I would let my anger get the better of me and make me hurt someone else. Like I almost did with Kraven. It's just natural for parents to feel that way, okay? They don't want us to feel hurt, even if it's by our own hand."
Peter thought about that for what felt like the longest time. "Okay, thank you. I think I needed to hear that."
Wow, so she'd said another good thing? How incredible. Maybe she needed to hear that too. She smiled and was rewarded with a smile back.
The house almost felt empty when the rest of the team left. They brought back some much-needed life to the place, especially with how hollow it had felt after Ben's death. Peter kind of missed having them around all the time, but he understood it had been pretty crowded. Plus Luke had his parents back now. And it was sort of nice to have time alone with his aunt again, without Sam stealing all her attention.
And now Peter felt better about her again. Maybe Ava was right. Maybe he was reading too much into every little thing Aunt May said. She had always been proactive and caring. Maybe all her suggestions and fears were her way of trying to help him.
He liked that.
"Someone's happy," May noticed when he entered her room. She'd spent the afternoon there to stay out of the way, working on her own various projects. She had her tablet on her lap. "Did you get a lot done?"
"We got it all done, so yeah, I'm happy." Peter walked over to peek at what she was up to on her tablet. "Did you get your things done?"
"Yes." She placed the tablet face down before he could see it. That was odd. "In fact, I have a question for you. What did you drink today?"
Peter frowned. The question was odd too. "Um, I had some water first, and then I finished the orange juice. Why? Did you want the juice for something? I can buy you more in the morning."
"No, it's not that. It's . . . I gave you three liters of soda to give everyone, and you still took juice."
"Yeah, I wasn't really in the mood for soda." What was with this line of questioning? He could normally understand the reasons behind most things his aunt asked, but he couldn't fathom what she was trying to get out of this. "Are you sure you didn't want the juice for something?"
May was studying him now. "You've had juice most mornings too."
Peter thought about that. "Yes, with milk sometimes. I mean, not combined. That would be weird. But on the side. I try to get all my food groups in, you know?"
"And you've asked for juice every other time I give you the option."
Huh, had he? He had, yes. He just hadn't noticed the pattern. And he'd even chosen juice at school and Shield too . . . "May, why are you asking this? What does it mean?"
May glanced away for a moment, then locked eyes with him again. "I started looking up spider instincts and other facts so I can understand what you may be dealing with. When I got to their diet, I was expecting the usual things about insects and all that, but there were some things I had no idea about. The juice thing was one of them."
"Juice thing? What juice thing? Spiders don't drink juice."
"Except they do. Look." May lifted her tablet again to show him the web page. "It turns out that many species of spider, especially tropical ones, drink fruit juices when they're young. It's a very recent development, so that's probably why we've never heard of it before. And here scientists think they've found a vegetarian species that survives solely on fruit."
Dumbfounded, Peter scanned the article intently. May seemed to be right. When some young spiders had trouble catching insects and other prey, scientists had witnessed them sucking the juices out of fruit instead. And the vegetarian spider was real too, although there was hardly any information on it yet.
When he was done, Peter took a step back, trying to wrap his mind around this new idea and what it meant. "So . . . spiders can sort of eat fruit? I've only ever heard of them being carnivorous. And—You think I've been drinking all that juice because of this?"
"It makes sense," May confirmed. "Think about it. You've almost been drinking juice exclusively for the past several weeks, maybe even longer. It took me a while to even consider that anything may be out of the ordinary, but something certainly is off."
"Or maybe I just like juice. Not everything needs to spider related," Peter said, although her argument was compelling. The only issue was that he didn't want it to be true. Juice was so normal. It couldn't possibly be related to his mess. It wasn't fair!
May grabbed his hand consolingly. "I don't want it to be true either, honey," she said as if she could read his mind. Or at least parts of it. "But you have to admit that it is kind of strange to only drink juice for weeks on end. And you are partially a young spider. Not to mention . . . you didn't notice it at all, did you?"
Peter hung his head. "No." That was the worst part. This was his first spider instinct that he didn't notice until it was pointed out to him. Except—wait—it wasn't his first. He'd also been oblivious to his hissing and purring.
A terrible weight settled in his stomach. All this time he'd been afraid that he would change in ways he didn't notice, and now he was realizing that it'd been happening the entire time. Ava was wrong. May wasn't just throwing things out there to try to understand him. She was noticing these things that he'd been blind to.
Did that mean she was onto something with his venom too? Was he a danger to everyone when he wanted to bite?
"Are you alright, Peter?" May asked, snapping him out of his downward spiral. She reached out to cup his cheek. "I know we didn't really see this coming, but this isn't the end of the world. Now that you're aware of this you can account for it. You can choose to drink something else, just like how you can choose to eat other things and not only insects. You don't need to let these things define you."
But they pretty much already defined him. He loved juice just as much as he liked to indulge himself with crickets. Maybe a little too much now that he thought about it. He didn't think he craved it quite like the crickets, but May was absolutely right when she said that he chose it at every opportunity. He just hadn't known it mattered.
Despite himself, Peter started biting his lip. He knew at this point that the action made his fang poke out, and he didn't want to showcase them after yesterday, but he was worried now. What else was he not noticing about himself? And what about the team? They promised that they would let him know anything out of the ordinary, but they never mentioned his addiction to juice.
Addiction. Could he call it that? He was pretty sure he could live without juice and crickets. Maybe. Possibly. He wouldn't be happy about it though. Was that a bad sign? He wouldn't want to give up his wheat cakes either though, and he was pretty sure those were completely unrelated to spiders. Probably. Did he need to recheck what spiders could eat? He'd thought he'd known, but apparently he wasn't up to date on the information.
May's gaze trailed down to her nephew's fang. She moved her thumb to pull his upper lip back slightly. Peter froze, hoping that his fangs didn't move while her fingers were so close. They were highly reflexive no matter how hard he practiced controlling them.
"Are you brushing those fangs properly?" May asked as she examined them.
Peter pulled away before he spoke. "Yes, and flossing." He left it at that. Brushing and flossing were two things that still felt the weirdest with his fangs. And it was actually a little harder than before. He had to stretch them out to brush everywhere, but if he used mint flavored things then they wanted to retract and he had to fight it.
"Good," May said matter-of-factly after his short answer. "Look, honey, don't worry about this. You had no reason to suspect that drinking juice might be forced on you by these instincts."
"Forced?" Peter blurted out without thinking. He regretted it, but he was also curious. Despite everything, he never considered an instinct to 'force' him into anything. He thought it was more like his instincts made him want to act a certain way, but he could still go against them.
"Don't you remember when we first let you try soda? You fell in love, especially with grape and cola. That was probably the one thing I had to argue with you sometimes. You wanted to drink soda all the time. When you started drinking less, I had hoped you were just being healthier, but now you haven't been drinking it at all."
A certain fact of irony struck Peter. "That's actually kind of funny. It's instincts either way. Humans evolved to love sugar because it was a sign of a high-calorie meal, which we needed way back in our hunter-gatherer days. Not so much nowadays."
"And you're a human first and foremost. I want you to be able to choose to eat and drink what you want, not what some spider wants."
She said those words lovingly, but they felt like a ton of bricks in Peter's brain. What did that even mean? 'What he wanted' versus 'what some spider wants'? He wasn't channeling some other spider's desires. He was a human-spider mutant who was very confused about what he wanted.
Wait a second, other spiders . . . Did Phoebe also like juice? She'd never tried it, so maybe she didn't even know it existed. Would she like it? What if she needed it? Peter needed to figure this out soon. What if he'd accidentally been depriving her of much needed nutrition?!
"Um, okay, May," he said somewhat absentmindedly. "Thanks for telling me all this. I'll think about it, but it's late and I'm kind of tired."
"Of course, get some rest." May stood to give him a peck on the cheek. "And I'll make sure you enjoy a soda tomorrow. I know juice and water are healthier, and part of me is glad you like them, but you deserve to be able treat yourself too."
Peter nodded as he bid her goodnight and went to his room. Was that all she wanted for him? For him to treat himself sometimes? That was fine. Why did he always get so worked up whenever they talked about these things? Ava really was right. May was only worried about him.
And now he was worried about Phoebe, so he could certainly understand his aunt's situation. He wanted Phoebe to have as much juice and crickets as she needed.
But May didn't want him to have so much of that stuff.
Well, he was still only part spider while Phoebe was a full spider. It made sense that they needed different things in different amounts. But he was bigger so shouldn't he technically need more?
Peter let out an extremely long sigh. Danny had said it best today; he was on an emotional rollercoaster with those closest to him. He wanted everything to go back to the way they were before, when everyone got along without trying so hard. But things were changing, and he was changing, and . . . he hoped it was for the better. He didn't need anything to get worse in his life.
And he also needed to think about this juice thing like he'd promised his aunt. Luckily, the shower was his next stop and an excellent place to think.
Fun facts:
- In jungles where the insects are huge, scientists discovered young spiders supplementing their nutrition with fruit juices. The suck it through their fangs like normal.
- There is in fact a relatively new spider species that appears to be a complete vegetarian, which is super strange because for years scientists thought they were all carnivores!
- If you check, Peter has been drinking only juice pretty much since the beginning of this story. I have been sitting on these fun facts for over a year, debating when it would be best to drop them in, and I am glad I waited. This is going to be so fun : } That's an inspired Grinch smile right there.