Hi there. I know this has taken forever, but I'm getting there slowly. I rewatched A Year In The Life this week and wrote this chapter. I plan to write another one or two to finish this off, though I'm not sure how long it will take. I hope you enjoy this. Please leave me a review letting me know what you think. I really appreciate it!
/
"Rory?"
She looks him dead in the eye, but he knows her well enough to see the hints that she's nervous.
"Hey, Logan." She says softly.
Even just hearing her say his name is enough to bring him to his knees, but he summons all his strength to remain standing.
"What are you doing here?" He says, hoping he doesn't sound too clueless, even though that's exactly how he feels.
She squirms slightly on the spot. "I needed to talk to you."
"And the phone wasn't good enough?" His voice is harsher than he intends it to be and he winces inwardly, especially when her face falls.
"This isn't really an over the phone talk ..." she says, clearly uncomfortable. "Can I?"
"Yeah, sorry!" He snaps into action. It's strange that she's here but there's no way he's not letting her in.
She steps inside the doorway but pauses before entering any further.
"Is Odette here?" She asks hesitantly.
He lets out a deep sigh. "No, nothing to worry about there."
She gives a clipped nod and follows him into the living room. Logan gestures towards the couch and then sits opposite her.
They sit awkwardly in silence for a few minutes as Logan studies her. She's definitely nervous. The fact that she's barely spoken is a major tip off. Rory Gilmore is rarely silent, particularly with him.
Finally, he can't stand the silence any longer.
"So what brings you all the way here?"
She lets out a little sigh, shifts in her seat and finally fixes her eyes on his.
"I'm sorry about the way I left in you in New Hampshire but I thought it was better to end things before you got married. I couldn't keep denying what would eventually happen."
"So why are you here now then?"
"I didn't want to screw up your life again." She barrels on without answering his question.
"What are you talking about?"
"You have Odette, and I just need to -"
"Rory, Odette and I are over." He cuts her off before she can finish.
She freezes, her mouth opening slightly. "What?"
"We broke up. The wedding is off."
"Why? Oh god, Logan, did she find out about me? I am so, so sorry."
"No," he shakes his head. "It's nothing to do with you. Although I'm sure she suspects there was someone around. But the truth is once she moved in and was around all the time we realised we just don't work together. Or so she realised that I wasn't ready."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be." He insists. "It was the right thing to do. I can't believe the way I behaved with Odette, it wasn't fair to treat her that way. Getting married when I didn't love her wouldn't have been right."
"So why were you going to do it?" She asks softly. "You were pretty resolute about the fact last time I saw you."
He stares at her. "Are you kidding me, Rory?"
"What?"
"You never said you wanted to be with me. You never asked me to leave her."
"It wasn't my place to do that." She insists.
"You were the one who came up with the whole 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas' rule." He points out.
"Because I didn't want to screw everything up!"
"Well you did anyway!"
The room fills with silence as their words end with a crashing halt.
Logan takes a deep breath. "That's not fair, I'm sorry. It was my decision to keep seeing you even though I was with Odette. But you know that I've never been able to resist you, Rory. The last few years prove that we still get along as well as we ever did. I knew that we could make it work but you've always been so hesitant, jumping from country to country. I didn't know if this was what you really wanted."
"It was." She murmurs. "But I didn't think I had the right to ask you for that."
"Why not?" He asks softly, frustration leaving his tone.
"I'm the one who said no to you, Logan. I'm the one who couldn't commit because I needed to go off and have this fantastic career. A career which has been so far from what I imagined that I've humiliated myself.
"You said no to me years ago, Rory, that's ancient history. We were just kids back then." He rationalises.
"But I said no. I have no right to come back into your life years later and ask to join it again, to ask you to leave someone else for me."
"But it's alright to come back in spite of the fact that I have someone? It is just as much my fault as yours Rory, probably even more but I can't believe that I justified this to myself for so long. Did you really think this was feasible?"
"No. I always knew that one day you'd get married and this would have to end. I told myself this was temporary, even though I never wanted it to end. But when I left you last time it was because I figured it was better to do it sooner rather than later, since it was going to hurt even more the longer I left it."
"That's why you asked me if I was really going to marry Odette."
She nods. "I didn't want you to, but I knew I had no right to choose for you."
"If you have asked me to leave her, I would have. If you had told me you wanted to do this for real, it would have made my entire life." He whispers.
Rory sighs, slumping forward and covering her face with her hands.
"I'm a terrible person."
"Rory, hey." Logan stands and moves so that he's sitting beside her on couch. "Pretty sure we're both terrible at the moment, but it's ok."
"No, Logan, it's not. I can't even believe the things I have done over the last year."
"This is just as much my fault as yours, so stop blaming yourself for everything." He wraps an arm around her back, pulling her into him.
She lets herself rest against him for a minute before pulling away.
"I need to tell you something. That's why I came here, but I'm scared of what you'll say."
"Rory, what is it? You know you can tell me anything." He reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, tenderly cupping her fact with his hand.
She closes her eyes for a moment to savour the peace before she opens her eyes to look at him.
"I'm pregnant."
Everything freezes. He stares at her and she feels like the entire world stands still.
"And it's yours, just to be clear." She clarifies.
He keeps staring at her but his mouth twitches slightly, not letting a laugh break free. "Thanks for the clarification, I didn't think otherwise." He sighs heavily, taking her hands in his. "How long have you known?"
She shifts beside him. "A couple of weeks."
"Were you always going to tell me?"
"I don't know." She says honestly.
"Why?"
"I told you, I didn't want to screw your life up and affect things with Odette even more. Plus, look what happened with my parents and what happened to me as a kid. I love my mother with my whole heart but when I was a kid I wanted to have a dad at home like everyone else did. Now that I'm an adult I wonder if my mother would have made our lives easier if she'd never told him about me."
"Rory," he breathes out heavily. "We are not your parents. We're not teenagers and I'm not going to force you into anything, but I'm not going to abandon you either. You know me better than that."
"Yeah." She admits. "That's why I came. I didn't want to screw up your life, but I knew it wouldn't have been fair to you to not even tell you."
"You have never screwed up my life."
"Well this would be the thing to do it." She says, almost bitterly.
Logan turns her so they're facing each other and she has no option but to look him in the eyes.
"Rory Gilmore, I love you." He says, so seriously but tenderly at the same time.
She breaths out a soft sigh of relief. "I love you too, Logan."
He leans forward and presses his lips to hers in a gentle kiss.
"So things are definitely over with Odette?" She whispers hesitantly.
He nods firmly, leaning in to kiss her again. "One hundred percent."
She leans in, tucking herself into his chest, resting beneath his chin.
"I was worried if I told you that you'd hate me. Or even worse, leave Odette just because I'm pregnant." She confesses softly.
Logan's arms tighten. "Well Odette and I are over and we were before you even got here so that clears that up. Second of all, if you're the one asking there is absolutely no one I would choose over you. And most importantly," he pulls back so he can fix her with the most serious expression she's ever seen on him. "How could I not want a baby that's half you and half me?"
A sob bubbles up inside her, half relief and half joy. "So you're in?"
He gives her that winning Logan Huntzberger smile. Not the one the world gets to see, but the one he's always saved for her, soft eyes and a slight smirk. "You jump, I jump."
She laughs, tears building in her eyes.
"Rory, you are all I've ever wanted since we were in college. I know this is a pretty messed up situation but I know we can make it work. As long as you want to, that is."
She nods wordlessly as the tears begin to stream down her face. He pulls her back into his arms once more, pressing soft kisses to her temple and whispering soothing words in her ear. Rory lets herself melt into him and feels his presence, his full presence without the threat of someone else, fill the cracks in her heart. For a moment she allows herself to think that maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.