Elsa couldn't sleep that night. She stayed up pacing across her room all night. She tried at first to lay down and sleep, but she just ended up tossing and turning. She laid there for a while staring at her ceiling finding every crack, dip, and inconsistency there was over her head. Her mind was in a million different places all at once. She couldn't believe what had just happened. What she had just done. She just admitted to two people who are almost complete strangers about her powers. That she is cursed and had harmed her sister. She spoke the words admitting to her faults. Somehow though, it was not her that everyone was mad and disgusted at. It felt odd, this unending acceptance. She was used to her sister giving it. Anna was Anna. If she was a 10-foot monster with three eyes she was almost certain that Anna would love her anyways and want to spend all her time around her no matter what. These people, her aunt and Uncle, had no reason to. They don't know her; they aren't on the payroll, so it was easier to deal with her. No, they were people who technically shared blood with her, but that doesn't mean anything. Her parents were related to her, and she was nothing but a disappointment and a burden to them. It didn't make sense to her that this didn't seem to be the case here with her aunt and Uncle. Why do they care? Why aren't they mad at me? I'm the one that is cured and with these powers. I'm the one who hurt Anna.
Another thought that kept bouncing around her head was about her cousin. It seemed that she wasn't the only one in the family with magic, but why is this the case. How is it that they have powers? Why is she the only one with destructive powers though? Why couldn't her powers have been more like her cousin's? It almost felt like the universe was laughing at her on this one. Somehow, she seems to be in some sort of joke, but she was not finding it funny. If it was possible, she would like to withdraw from it, but how did one call up the universe and ask?
These were just the easiest of the thoughts that were bouncing around in her mind currently. As always, her thoughts drift off to Anna. It tore her up having to leave her sister like that. She didn't want to, especially with Anna that upset, but what else could she do? There was only so much that she could at this moment in time. She was already flaunting the rules and pushing her limits as it was. She was lucky that she hadn't been caught yet. She was surprised that she hasn't been caught yet. Things seemed to be going too well for her now. She was very happy. She was able to see and talk to Anna more than she has been able to for years. She knew that there was someone out there that loved her no matter what. She has gotten more hugs now than she has in a while. She found that she does have more family out there who seem to care. Anna believed in them, so Elsa figured to give a little faith. Though a small part of her expected disappointment.
Elsa was almost afraid to hope for the best. She wanted to believe that her Aunt and Uncle meant it when they said they cared for her and her sister, but somewhere deep inside of herself she just had this feeling that it was all going to turn out to be another lesson that no one was trustworthy. The only person she knows to the depths of her soul that never meant any harm, stuck to her word, and would go out of her way to do anything for Elsa (even against her wishes) was her sister, Anna. Everyone else Elsa questioned. Sure, it was true that she trusted and believed Gerda, Kai, and even Dr. Nilsen, but she also knew that their care and ability to fulfill anything was limited. The sad fact was that at the end of the day they were on the Kingdom's payroll. This meant that at the end of the day, even as citizens of the kingdom, they also had the monetary obligation to listen to anything that her father said. They were held hostage on two accounts. Elsa would never place them into a position that would place them in jeopardy. She was not worth anyone getting into trouble like that. All three of them have already toed the line too much in the past. Elsa was worried that one of these days that they would get caught being "too familiar with the defective princess". She feared that if this happened that they would suffer the consequences of treason all in the hopes of helping her. If she had anything to say about it she would not allow that to come to pass.
Her Aunt and Uncle were different in this respect. They had a certain amount of immunity that Gerda, Kai and Dr. Nilsen didn't. If they were caught doing the exact same things her father was not allowed to punish them the same. Since they were not citizens here, they technically were not held to laws and enforced preferences like everyone else. The most her father could do was force them to leave the country. Anything more than that he risked major repercussions. This is why Anna was probably so hopeful for things to turn out differently and actually make a change in their lives. Their Aunt and Uncle had more power and leeway than anyone else as their parents since they were equals of power being foreign monarchs.
This seemed too easy of an answer for Elsa. Nothing had ever been this simple or easy. Life always had a funny way of reminding her that she was destined to be trapped between those four walls, away from everyone else. Elsa wanted to believe in this as much as her sister seemed to. Maybe this once things could really be this simple. Who knows? Even a cursed witch had to be lucky sometimes. Just once the ice princess could be lucky.
Anna didn't have much in the sleep department either that night. She couldn't stop thinking about Elsa all alone in her own excuse of a prison. Sure, it was technically her own room, but Anna knew that Elsa didn't want to go back there. There was something about that room that put her sister on edge. Anna wasn't sure if it was because something had happened to Elsa in there or if it was what the room symbolized. It was not a room; it was a prison and Elsa was sentenced there unfairly. Anna wasn't sure how long she tossed and turned in bed or got up and made laps around her room. All she knew was she didn't want to be here alone.
As certain as she could be, Anna slipped into the secret passageway and started to make the trek over quickly and silently to Elsa's room. Anna wasn't so sure that the walls between her and the hall were as thick as they seemed. She sided on the side of caution not wanting to lose this one connection she has to her sister. She finally made it over to the exit into her sister's room. She paused outside of the door and listened, wanting to make sure that the coast was clear. She didn't hear anything that told her that it was unsafe for her to open the entrance. She slowly cracked open the wall and peeked into her sister's room and paused to double check that it was clear. What she saw broke her heart and made her so glad that she decided to sneak over here. Elsa was pacing in her room and mumbling under her breath. Her arms were wrapped around herself and every once and awhile one of her hands would slip into her hair and rake her fingers through her hair before it would clutch a clump and pull a bit before her arm dropped back down to rewrap it around herself once again. Anna was upset that this was how Elsa was left all alone here and why she didn't want Elsa to come back here to begin with. Anna quickly slipped out of the passageway and closed it softly behind her. She didn't like that Elsa didn't notice her presence yet at all. She kept pacing and seemingly trying to soothe herself. Anna quickly slid into Elsa's path and paused in front of her hoping that Elsa noticed her before she walked into her.
Elsa's steps stuttered and she paused with a flinch before she fully realized who was standing in front of her. Her face snapped up and she saw the horror in Anna's eyes when she saw that she flinched so aggressively.
"Sorry." Elsa rasped out.
Anna tried to keep her feelings from crossing her face and keep it soft and reassuring for her sister. Elsa was struggling and like always her first thought and concern was not herself, but of Anna. With that in mind, Anna set aside her shattered heart on how Elsa's innate reaction to the presences of another. She obviously expected a harsher and more violent reaction, not a soft and loving one. Anna would deal with the deep desolation and seething hatred she felt burning in her chest. The fact that this is where Elsa was constantly was not okay. She wanted to fix this for her sister, but now she just wasn't sure how. All she did know was that she was going to be there and support her sister showing her all the love she should have been receiving all along plus some. She was going to make sure her sister knew she was loved that she was going to be okay, and that there was nothing about her that needed to change. Anna quickly had her eyes dart around the room and look for a pitcher of water. Elsa needed something to drink. Her voice sounded terrible, plus it might help her calm down. She saw a pitcher that must have been left by Gerda earlier today. She quickly scurried over to the side table that had the pitcher with a glass and was so glad to see water within it. She poured some water into a glass and then went back over to Elsa who was holding still and just watching Anna intently and following her every move.
Back in front of Elsa, Anna slowly extended her arm out with the glass to offer it to her sister. Elsa blinked her eyes owlishly before she shakily removed one arm from around herself and took the glass from her sister's grasp. It was obvious to Anna that Elsa was being more than conscious and carefully ensuring that her fingers never encountered Anna's. Watching Elsa shakily bring the glass to her lips and take a few small sips, Anna stood by ready to step in if her sister needed help.
The cool water helped Elsa to focus, and she didn't realize how dry her throat had gotten, but she still couldn't drink as much as she probably should have, but she felt like her throat was not obeying simple commands like swallowing at that moment. She only took a few small sips before she gave up for now and tried to give her sweet baby sister a small smile. She felt terrible that she made her worry about her. With her showing up so soon after she was put to bed meant that Anna needed her for something. She needed to pull herself together so that she could help her little sunspot.
"Hey Sunshine, what are you doing still up?"
Anna felt better that Elsa's voice was sounding better, but it still had a huskiness to it that she was slightly nervous about. It was not normal for her. It also lifted her heart to see her sister coming back around and acting like herself and asking about her, but now she just wanted to get her sister situated and comfortable. She wanted to push to see what was bothering her so much, but she knew that right now was not the moment to push. She had a feeling that Elsa would shut down if she pushed right now and that is exactly the opposite reaction she wanted right now, so she could pause her need to inquire for right now.
"I'm okay, I just didn't want to be alone, so I hope that you don't mind that I came over."
Anna felt herself glow in the warmth of her sister's soft smile.
"It is more than okay baby; you are always welcome to spend time with me. You never have to second guess that. You just have to be careful to not be caught, that is all."
Anna quickly nodded her head and restrained herself from lunging forward and tackling her poor sister in a tight hug. Elsa seemed to have noticed this and finally unwrapped her other arm from around herself and extended it out allowing Anna to nestle into her free side. It was then that Anna noticed that Elsa was wearing her gloves again. Anna decided not to comment now. She just made a mental note that Elsa was not feeling okay with her powers now. She quickly shifted and cuddled into Elsa's side, being careful of the glass her sister still grasped in her other hand as she wrapped her arms around her sister's middle.
Elsa couldn't help the grin that spread across her face as she felt her sister nuzzle into her side. The wonderful feeling of warmth that always came with Anna's touch was still a wonder to her. She had lived without the sensation of temperature for so long it still amazed her when she felt it like this. Anna never ceased to amaze her. It was like she was no longer defective with her sister around. For just a moment she could pretend that she was normal for a minute. Elsa let her head rest on top of her sister's sheets of auburn and slightly nuzzled her nose into its comforting ripples to fully absorb the soothing sensory envelopment. Her eyes slipped shut as she allowed the full presence of Anna to help dim and tune out all of the thoughts that left her in turmoil.
Anna felt Elsa's body start to uncoil and relax in her hold. If only she could find a way to help Elsa reach this more often. For now, though she was glad that she could offer her sister a slight reprieve from the pressure of the world that always seemed to be resting on her shoulders. Anna hoped that if things changed, like if their aunt and Uncle could get Elsa out from under their father's scrutiny then Elsa may find a new and longer lasting sense of peace. Unfortunately, for right now that was too many what ifs for Anna's comfort. There was no promise any of that could happen yet, so until then Anna was going to do her best to provide Elsa an atmosphere where she felt comfortable enough to relax just like this.
Elsa didn't want to move even though her legs were starting to ache from holding still for so long, along with the cup in her other hand starting to become heavier in her grasp the urge to move and give her aching limbs a slight reprieve was starting to become more inviting. It was just hard for her to make up her mind on moving to alleviate her aching limbs. The glass was starting to really bother her in her hands. Part of her just wanted to drop the glass so that she could wrap her sister up in her arms and take as much comfort as she could from the embrace.
With much displeasure, Elsa extracted herself from Anna's arms to Anna it looked as if she glided to her side table to gently place the cup down on a coaster. This made Anna want to roll her eyes a bit at her sister. While it may seem silly to most, this small action from her sister just proved to Anna that Elsa was the exact opposite of a dangerous, uncaring menace. For all that was holy Anna never cared about protecting the furniture from harmful water rings and doing something as simple as using a coaster. She just placed her cup down without a care in the world. It never crossed her mind, and then there was Elsa. These little details and actions did matter to her sister. Every action of Elsa's, down to the way she took care of where and how she placed a cup. To Anna, her sister was the epitome of a gentle and thoughtful soul. Nothing ever seemed to escape her notice and all Anna could think was that it must be beyond exhausting to be her sister. Part of her wondered how Elsa ever got anything done being as considerate as she was, but she supposed that it was also the exact quality that was going to make Elsa one of the best leader this world as ever seen. Anna whole heartedly believed that fact. The moment Elsa was given the opportunity to operate as the true leader of their country, Anna just knew that everyone was going to love her. Though Anna would admit that she just might be just a little bit biased and belligerent on the idea of anyone not just adoring her sister. To her, absolutely nothing was better in the entire universe than her older sister. In her world, Elsa hung the sun, moon, and the stars. It all began and ended with Elsa. There was nothing Elsa could do that was ever completely wrong in her eyes. She was aware that it was a slight, just a slight bind spot that she had, but in reality, she really didn't care. As far as Anna was concerned Elsa needed someone who was entirely in her corner no matter what. Elsa had been without that for so long and there were moments where Anna could see the repercussions of this. She could see the deep hesitation and moments of complete and utter self-doubt that Elsa wrestled with that unfortunately more often than not Anna could see where Elsa would lose that inner battle succumbing to those self-deprecating thoughts. That was the most dangerous part of Elsa that Anna saw, it really could become her downfall. This is part of the reason that Anna kind of self-appointed herself as Elsa's cheerleader essentially. She was going to be there to ensure that Elsa didn't lose to those darker thoughts and stuck to her original convictions that Anna knows to be the best ones. When Elsa had nothing to hold her back, she was unstoppable, a true force of pure good to be reckoned with. Anna personally couldn't wait to be there to just see Elsa blossom into what she knows she can be.
Anna started to twitch, and her skin began to prickle after being so far from Elsa for so long. Sure they were in the same room and Elsa was barely out of arms reach, just a few paces in front of her, but there was this weight on her chest that she couldn't explain. It was part of the reason she snuck down to her sister's room in the first place. Something just felt wrong. Anna didn't know what it was, but something just felt off. It made her feel like she almost had to be touching Elsa to make sure she was okay and safe. The urge was so strong it almost makes Anna's skin hurt. Anna rocked back and forth on her feet for a moment her eyes almost boring into her sister while her muscles twitch wanting, needing to launch across the room to her sister. It seemed as if Elsa noticed Anna's twitchy state, though what doesn't she notice? Anna thought as she saw Elsa give Anna the small smile so full of warmth that she was almost convinced at this point was reserved just for her. It was all the sign of approval that she needed that had her quickly dart across the small space separating them back into Elsa's side. She almost blushed from Elsa's small chuckle that made her realize that she had practically purred in contentment when she nestled back into Elsa's side. She didn't really care though. At the moment she was just relived to have the uncomfortable feeling disappear for now as she allowed herself to submit to the impulse to be here against her sister.
When Elsa turned back to Anna after setting her cup down, she saw something she never wanted to see in Anna if she had a say in it. She saw her baby sister twitching and slightly rocking back and forth on her feet looking like she was seconds from launching herself across the room. What really distressed her though was the pained look in Anna's eyes. Something was wrong and Anna needed her. She tried to give her sister the most inviting and reassuring smile she could to make sure Anna knew that it was okay, that she was right there and willing to be her anchor. That was all it seemed to take for Anna to practically fling herself across the short distance to where Elsa was. She tried not to laugh, she really did, but it had caught her off guard when Anna practically purred like a kitten the moment, she snuggled herself into her side. It was one of the cutest things that Anna had done, and it brought Elsa a feeling of pride and elation to know that she was able to bring comfort to such a sweet and loving individual. She never really saw herself as someone who could help and bring comfort to others in distress but if Anna was the only individual this worked on Elsa was more than fine with it. Anna was probably the only person she could tolerate contact like this anyways. She still needed to know what had bothered her sister so much.
"Sunshine, what's wrong?"
Anna hummed and wrapped her arms around her sister tighter as if she was afraid Elsa was going to disappear from her grasp. Elsa's hand lifted from her side where it was hanging limply to cradle Anna closer, but she hesitated in mid-air. What if she wasn't in control and hurt Anna? But Anna needed reassurance right now… What kind of sister couldn't even give her own sister a reassuring touch? No… She could do this…. Please… Please cooperate with me. Stay inside. We don't want to hurt Anna. She needs this right now. I'll let you out a bit later if you just give me this… Please.
Elsa felt her powers recede and accumulate in her chest. It burned slightly, but that didn't matter. She carefully placed her gloved hand on the back of Anna's head for a moment making sure her powers were going to listen and stay away from her hands. When she knew that they were for now her other arm came up and wrapped around Anna squeezing her slightly to hopefully reassure her that she was right there and not going anywhere. She didn't think it was possible, but somehow Anna seemed to have smushed her face even farther into Elsa and she could feel Anna's soft and warm breaths against her neck.
"Sunshine… What's wrong. Maybe I can fix it."
Elsa asked once again with her fingers starting to play and cascade through Anna's burning red hair. This time Anna finally answered her back.
"I don't know, but something just feels off. I just know I have this need to stay with you. Nothing feels okay until I can feel you. I sound crazy and needy, don't I?"
Elsa didn't think Anna was crazy or needy at all. She herself felt like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop that everything has been going almost too well. While it was nice to know for once she wasn't the only one, she didn't like that Anna was this distressed from it. Nothing was worth her own self assurance at the expense of others, especially if that someone was Anna.
"Okay Sunshine. I'm right here. You can stay here as long as you need."
Anna squeezed Elsa slightly firmer around the middle and Elsa took that as all the confirmation she needed. With a quick smooth grace that Anna did not expect, Elsa swept Anna up into her arms and cradled her close to ensure she didn't drop her precious cargo, making her way over to settle the two of them on the bed.
Anna let a small squeal slip out from between her lips at her shock. She really was not expecting Elsa to just scoop her up as easily never mind without any warning. It was nice that Elsa felt safe enough to act thins way around her. She could get used to it. She also had to admit that being curled up in Elsa's lap on the bed was way more comfortable than how they were before. This was definitely a smart call on Elsa's part.
Anna gave a soft hum as she curled up and snuggled as close as she could in her sister's embrace. What ticked Anna to no end was the fact that someone who had powers over ice and snow had the warmest hugs. Anna never realized how much she missed and almost needed an Elsa hug. She guessed that this is what other people felt when they were little kids and had that special blanket or stuffed toy. As long as they had it then everything was okay. Now that Anna thought about it, she never had anything like that when she was little. When ever she was scared or needed comfort she had always ran to Elsa and shimmied up her like she was a tree hiding in her pretty flaxen hair. That was her blanket, her comfort, her warmth, her reassurance that everything was going to be okay. When in doubt Elsa always, always made it better and chased away all her monsters even if they were imagined. Even when there was a door between them, Anna sought solace and safety from the door. Elsa was behind it, so the door was the next closest thing that she had. For a long while she came to the door and sat there against it talking to the thick hunk of wood. She remembered doing it until their parents started dragging her away and setting up guards to prevent her from venturing down that hallway with the claim that she was "bothering" her sister.
A lump formed in her throat as she thought about that period of time, with as much as it bothered and affected her it must have killed Elsa slowly inside. At least Anna could try and fill that void by galivanting throughout the castle (annoying everyone) and causing some sort of mayhem. Elsa didn't have that choice. Here she was once again trying to battle and defeat a "monster" to keep Anna safe. Here Anna was moaning and groaning and not knowing that Elsa was once again doing what she had always did since Anna could remember (and probably farther back than that if Anna was honest) she was keeping her safe. It was never up for question if Elsa would do that. Anna knew to the depths of her soul that Elsa would just shrug and brush it off saying of course she would. She would just say, "because you're Anna" like that itself held all of the answers in the universe or that is was just the most basic of all common sense.
Anna's fingers itched and burned with the uncomfortable thought of who chased away Elsa's monsters? Who, what gave her comfort? Did Elsa have any of the small things that Anna has taken for granted? Anna shifted and shoved her face further into the canopy that Elsa's hair provided, and her hands slipped down and found Elsa's hands. Normally Anna did not go directly for her hands like this, but Anna felt the need now. She frowned when she felt and remembered that Elsa was wearing her gloves at the moment. She leaned back to Elsa's surprise and quickly pealed the gloves from her sister's hands, tossing them off to the side before she cradled Elsa's hands and brought them up to her face placing a kiss on both hands before holding them close to her own chest.
Elsa sat there frozen in a whirlpool of emotions while being beyond speechless. No on had ever done that or any sort of display of complete acceptance and trust with her hands after they knew about what they were capable of. A solid percentage went out of their way to avoid her hands, typically they try to be as discreet as they can, but she can tell. Then here was her wonderful baby sister once again proving everything she knew to be true wrong once again by going against all logic.
"Anna…"
Elsa's voice was soft and watery as it cracked out into the stillness of the room.
Anna locked her cerulean sea blue eyes onto Elsa's misty steel blue ones. With that Anna saw all of the walls and barriers that Elsa normally had firmly locked around her were finally completely gone. She could see every hurt, emotion, fear, anxiety, and scar all bubbled up to the surface for anyone to see. All it had taken was complete acceptance and unconditional love for all parts of her well known. It just cemented to Anna that all her sister needed was complete and utter love and acceptance. Things that others take for granted have obviously been denied to her wonderful sister. A flash of burning angry simmered back down almost as quickly as it came as the people responsible for hurting her sister. She allowed the anger to slip away for now. Elsa didn't need that around her right now. What her sister needed was for her to be soft and warm in her current actions. That trumped any other feelings she had brewing.
Elsa then did something she had never done before. She leaned forward and buried her head in Anna's shoulder.
Anna sat there surprised. It was always Anna who cuddled and found shelter in Elsa's embrace, so this was a first. It was probably an odd sight to see the on perched on the other's lap, but that was not the girl curled up and hiding in the comfort of the embrace of the other. Anna felt like it was odd to be elated over this change, but all it meant to her was that Elsa found safety in her as much as she felt when she was wrapped up in Elsa's embraced. She wanted to be able to return all of the things that Elsa has done for her over the years from the smallest thing like listening to her while she rambles about anything and everything all the way up to the large things like locking herself away for years. While it was completely misguided it came from the purest intentions. Elsa was literally willing to put herself into harms way if it meant that Anna was okay. Anna couldn't think of a more altruistic and loving person than her sister. It was almost daunting to think about because how could one ever measure up to that? The only thing that Anna could rationalize was that Elsa was special. She was unfortunately not the standard, but the exception. While Elsa couldn't see it and feared herself thinking that she was some kind of beast, a monster that existed only to cause harm, but Anna saw her for what she truly is. She was the epitome of a hero. Anna wasn't even basing this off her powers (as cool as they are), but from Elsa's character. She cared more than anyone she had ever met, and she never did anything expecting anything in return. She was just kind. She did things and didn't think twice about her actions because to her that is what one should and was supposed to do. Others would hesitate or not do anything at all. Someday Anna hoped that she could get Elsa to see how truly amazing she really was. For now, she was content being the shelter and provide the comfort that Elsa has so clearly been craving all of this time and has gone without.
Anna sat there in the embrace with her sister just absorbing the simple pleasure of this moment. She was lulled into an almost meditative state from all the relaxing variables. The warm cocoon her with her sister and the steady soft puffs of air from Elsa was something that Anna could fall asleep to. For in this moment there was no problems in the universe. For right now all was well, and nothing could hurt her sister. No outside forces could bother them or a trace of looming dark thoughts. No right now there was nothing but peace.