Italic parts are quotes from HP and the Deathly Hallows!
Silently I stared at Madam Pomfrey running from one patient to another, from one of Harry's friends to the next. I had brought them here alone after Dumbledore had instructed me to do so. Remus had taken Tonks and Mad-Eye to St. Mungo's while Kingsley had taken care of the Death Eaters together with the other Aurors – under them a completely surprised Alex – that had arrived. I knew there would still be some explaining to do, also Kingsley said he would spin a story that would keep me out of most of it. Still I knew that my best friend would expect the truth from me.
"Poppy, you have called for…" The dark voice behind me made me shiver instantly and when I turned around I looked into the surprised face of Severus. I could see relief in his eyes and had to resist the urge to instantly hug him, to feel safe in his arms.
"Eli–Miss Brighton?", he changed my name when he noticed that Poppy was here.
"Severus, there you are!", Poppy interrupted before I could say anything. "I need potions, a lot of potions. As fast as you can make them. My supplies are running low and I need more to fully treat them."
"What do you need?"
The healer gave him a long list which gave me an idea of how badly inured the students really were and again I swallowed hard.
"How fast can you make them?"
"Faster if I take Miss Brighton with me, she was my best student."
"Then off with you two, I need them instantly", she replied snippy while Severus and I already moved to the exit. We hadn't even completely closed the door to the infirmary behind us when I found myself in his arms.
"You are alright", he murmured and I could feel how much he must have worried. "I thought you were… what happened?"
"We had to fight a lot of Death Eaters. You-know-who even appeared but I didn't face him", I explained and closed my eyes, inhaled deeply and listened to Severus's heartbeat which slowly calmed me down.
"Is everybody alright?", he asked and I could instantly feel a lump in my throat when the pictures of Sirius's death flooded my mind.
Slowly I let go, so I could hold back the tears. I couldn't fall apart in the middle of the castle with everybody seeing us and being held by Severus made me feel safe enough to do so.
"Not here", I whispered coarsely and he instantly understood, swiftly pulled me down the stairs to the dungeons and into his office. When the door was sealed shut, when his arms were around me again, I couldn't hold back anymore though.
"Sirius is dead", she cried, "he is dead!"
Completely perplexed I held her in my arms, her tears wetting my frock coat as her words slowly started to make sense. Black was dead. A message that I hadn't expected, that I didn't know how to handle. I didn't have any sympathy for my former nemesis but ever since Elizabeth had initiated the unspoken truce between us, I had learned to tolerate him, to accept him. Still I never grew to like him and probably wouldn't mourn him… but seeing Elizabeth suffering because of it was something else entirely. It broke my heart.
I tightened my embrace, pressed her a little harder against me, tried to calm down her shaking body with my own. I knew she was suffering and still I couldn't put into words how thankful I was that it had been him and not her. If I had lost her, I would've followed her instantly. I wouldn't have cared any longer about my vow, about the Order or the war. Without her I couldn't carry on, couldn't even fulfil what I had begun after Lily's death – a realisation I had come to in the last hours when I had feared for her life more than ever before. I always thought that if anything would happen to her, I'd carry out my task and would follow her after. Something I realised I couldn't do. I'd want to be with her instantly, wouldn't want to live a second longer on this earth than her.
Slowly I felt Elizabeth calm down in my arms, so that I carefully let go of her enough to look at her face. Gently I removed the last tears before I kissed her forehead.
"I am so sorry… I know how close you two were. Would you like some dreamless sleep? To rest for a few hours?"
She let go of me, resorted to hold my hand instead and shook her head. "We need to start brewing Sev, they need the potions… and they're waiting for me in the ministry. I have to return soon."
My grip around her fingers tightened again. I knew I had to let her go again but I wasn't ready yet, not after the fear I had felt tonight. Still I knew I hadn't a choice not until the Dark Lord was finally defeated.
So I simply nodded and went to my storage room to get everything we needed.
Weeks passed since the incident in the ministry, since I had last seen or heard from Elizabeth. I knew that she was probably occupied quite a bit with the ministry officially acknowledging that the Dark Lord had returned but nevertheless I wanted to hear her voice, wanted to hear that she was well.
I closed my eyes and leaned back further into the armchair of my living room. I had returned from a meeting with the Dark Lord a few days ago where he had ordered Draco to kill Dumbledore. A mission he didn't expect him to actually be able to fulfil of course and I feared the boy's failure. The Dark Lord would probably expect me to finish the task then.
Sighing I reached for my pocket watch and opened it, reached for my wand and pointed it at it.
"Expecto felix aetas."
The tiny stars quickly formed the picture of my love and me. Normally it made me smile instantly but today it made me only more anxious. The times were getting darker and more dangerous and the Order would have to face Death Eaters more often. It would be a matter of time until I would be caught up in a fight as well. Dumbledore expected me to side with the Death Eaters, to not blow my cover but if Elizabeth would be the one I was fighting…
My thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a patronus bursting through the window of my living room and quickly I closed the watch in my hands, buried it in my pocket. It was a phoenix and I instantly jumped up as Dumbledore's voice echoed through the room.
"Severus… been cursed. Grab feather and apparate."
Shocked I looked at the patronus which transformed and turned into a bright red phoenix feather. With a quick wave of my wand I summoned a few vials and flasks from my storage into my extended arms before I grabbed the feather and disapparated.
Not a moment later I appeared in the office of the Headmaster. The old man was unconscious, hanging on his chair, seemed to have used his last strength to summon me. Quickly I walked over and noticed that his hand was blackened and burned. A ring with a broken stone lied in front of it, next to the sword of Gryffindor.
Confused about the display I waved my wand to push the ring a little further away before I uncorked a bottle, poured the content into the goblet on the desk. My wand was already pointed at Dumbledore's hand, muttering incantations, while I poured the potion into his mouth when he was barely conscious again. What the hell happened? Had he tried to get himself killed?!
It took a few moments but finally the Headmaster opened his eyes, looking weakly my way.
"Why… why did you put on that ring? It carries a curse, surely you realised that. Why even touch it?", I scolded him before continuing with my incantations.
"I… was a fool. Sorely tempted…"
"Tempted by what?" The old man didn't answer and I continued furiously. "It is a miracle you managed to return here! That ring carried a curse of extraordinary power, to contain it is all we can hope for; I have trapped the curse in one hand for the time being–"
Dumbledore took the news easily. He discussed his remaining time on earth like it was nothing. Quickly he changed the topic to Draco and the plan of his death.
"The Dark Lord does not expect Draco to succeed. This is merely punishment for Lucius's recent failures. Slow torture for Draco's parents, while they watch him fail and pay the price."
"In short, the boy has had a death sentence pronounced upon him as surely as I have. Now, I should have thought the natural successor to the job, once Draco fails, is yourself?"
I wasn't surprised Dumbledore had made the same assumption I had. "That, I think is the Dark Lord's plan."
The old man had understood that it meant that the Dark Lord was expecting to have the school in his hands soon enough and wouldn't need a spy any longer. He also expected me to protect the students as best as I could while pretending to help Draco fulfil his goal.
"Ultimately, of course, there is only one thing to be done if we are to save Draco from Lord Voldemort's wrath."
"Are you intending to let him kill you?"
"Certainly not. You must kill me."
Speechless I stared at him. Had he gone mad?
"Would you like me to do it now? Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?"
Smiling Dumbledore dismissed my sarcasm and reminded me of the curse I had just contained in his hand, that I had just bought him a year of time and naturally the moment would present itself when that time was up.
"I ask this one, great favour of you, Severus, because death is coming for me as surely as the Chudley Canons will finish bottom of this year's league. I confess I should prefer a quick, painless exit to the protracted and messy affair it will be if, for instance, Greyback is involved – I hear Voldemort has recruited him? Or dear Bellatrix, who likes to play with her food before she eats it."
Again I looked speechless at him. Was he serious? Was he really expecting me to do this?
"You can't asked this of me Dumbledore."
"You are the only one I can ask to do this. Not only will Voldemort fully trust you then but you are the only one capable of protecting your thoughts from him."
"Are you telling me what I think you are telling me? No one can know?"
The old man closed his eyes. "No one. We need to make sure your position at the Dark Lord's side is ensured."
"The Order… they will think I am a traitor", I whispered and Elizabeth's face flashed through my mind. She needed to know the truth, needed to know that it was an order. At least her.
"They will. Unfortunately there is no other way."
"Let me at least tell her", I begged, something I wasn't used to at all but I needed her to know the truth. She couldn't think I was the murderer of Dumbledore, she couldn't think I betrayed my vow… betrayed her.
"No."
"She will tell no one! She's been training in Occlumency as well!"
"But she won't be able to act as if you betrayed her, Severus. She would struggle with marking you as a traitor, no matter how much she tries. She loves you after all", he said with a sad smile. "Remus already knows about the two of you and should he notice that she is not as upset as everyone else about your betrayal he would want to know why and the more people know the higher the danger of Voldemort finding out. We can't risk it."
"Do you have any idea what you are asking of me? You ruin any future the two of us have, any hope of a normal life."
My hand had reached the pocket watch, was firmly holding it. No matter how much I tried not to, I was still hoping for a future for us, still hoping that somehow after the war – if I survived it – we would still have a chance to be together.
"No one is more disappointed about this than me…"
"Disappointed?", I was on my feet, fuming with anger. "Disappointed?! You are disappointed about it?!"
"Severus…"
"No. I will not do it Dumbledore. Either she knows or I won't do it."
Furious I turned around, wanted to leave his office when the old man spoke again. "So the vow you have made means nothing to you anymore? Lily means nothing to you anymore?"
I froze instantly in my step and glared at him. How dared he? How dared he question my loyalty? Lily was the only reason I had not forsaken my vow so far, the only reason that held me back from going into hiding with my love, for leaving everything behind.
I knew it was a futile effort to resist, that my promise to protect Lily's son bound me to do it anyway, that the Dark Lord counted on me fulfilling the task if Draco failed and would execute me instantly, if I wouldn't. Still I had hoped I could at least tell one person that it was planned, that at least Elizabeth wouldn't think the worst of me, wouldn't stop to see the good in me, would believe me if I told her that I was still on her side, had never left it.
"I have your word then, Severus?"
A long silence followed before I stiffly nodded and quickly left the Headmaster's office.