A/N: I got a couple of negative feedback in the last chapter (which is fine, actually, but I have issues and I have to address it in a specifically non-self-destructive way) so here's the last chapter of the first arc!
The main principle is: Don't Like It, Don't Read It. please. This is both for my sake and yours. My author notes are not there for display or adding to word count.
Chapter Warnings: Illnesses, Medical Inaccuracies (I know nothing have mercy), Hand Wavy EVERYTHING
ARC 1: CHAPTER 6
Poros
-0-
If there was one thing he (Harrhan? Harry?) learned about the presence, it was that it only ever cares for him.
Him and his desires, him and his needs.
Whatever else stood in the way didn't matter.
(He wanted family, didn't he? He wanted to not be lonely. He needed to not be falling apart, and he needed someone to be with him. He needed and wanted to be strong and then he wanted to be better and the best.)
It's also incredibly, heinously selfish.
(Death, has so few precious to It.)
So Ha-rry-han is reborn.
This time, his name is Harley Keener.
-0-
The first thing he realizes is that he's on earth again.
He's human.
It's a curious, difficult transition. He absently notes the subtle differences between his mindset as Harrhan and this new thing he's encountering. His experiences as Harry Potter don't count, having spent his infanthood knowing absolutely nothing of the world he was born in.
For one, Harley Keener is a child that possesses an uncanny amount of energy.
It's the Magic running through his veins, but that is only a part of it. What constitutes and differentiates Harley Keener from Harry Potter and Harrhan is the disposition he has.
Harry Potter was born to magic but otherwise normal parents. This point of comparison doesn't work well because his earliest memory as Harry had been his aunt yelling at him to cook food. Nothing could ever recall memories before that. (If it wasn't the death of his parents, the flash of green light that started everything.)
Harrhan was, quite simply, so different because he was born a zehoberei. The clear difference between him and Harley, excluding the obvious alien physiology, was that Harley was not quiet. Harrhan spent months without uttering a word, Harley could barely keep his mouth shut for a few minutes.
And as a baby, Harley's thoughts were too fast and muddled, as if his body still hasn't quite caught up with his far older consciousness, yet working hard in doing so.
He's very fussy, too, and Harley actually pities his parents. It was just too difficult for his body to process the potent mix of griefsorrowregret that echoed all over his being, resulting in him bursting into tears and angry tantrums quite often. (Often enough that mother and father brought him to the doctors, had him on monitor for something he didn't actually have. Just the grief and overwhelming sense of being lost.)
Yes, he skips a lot of mental milestones that normal babies go through (mother was sorely disappointed when he didn't react to any peek-a-boos, and delighted when Harley managed to solve puzzles at a quick rate), but it still stands that human physiology develop at a slower rate than that of a zehoberei (or was it that time moves differently in this region of the galaxy?). In example, Harley's awareness did not come until he was three months old as opposed to Harrhan's advanced consciousness in his mother's womb.
Any of that didn't erase the fact that Harley had to get used to having wobbly appendages. He does have great balance and spatial awareness, but anything requiring delicate or strong muscle use renders it useless.
Who ever said being a baby was easy? Living nearly a century as a self-sustaining, autonomous being of great strength and power doesn't make a restart of everything feel easy.
But—
Human. He's human again. Because it bears emphasis.
(There's this thing called humanity—something he never knew he didn't have as Harrhan.)
-0-
It didn't even enter his mind that he might be in the same earth as the earth Harry Potter had lived in.
For the record, he isn't.
There was a distinct lack of the Magical Leylines. Oh, there are leylines of the magical variety, but it's something much closer to seidr. Same type of energy, different frequencies. He's still alone in his possession of Magic. There's also something that was just out of reach of his consciousness, something he Knows but somehow doesn't form a concrete thought for him to pin down.
Technology was also far more advanced than what Harry Potter had ever encountered, but primitive as compared to Harrhan's experiences.
The presence chooses to be quiet, retreats deeper into his Soul because a human body had weaker capabilities and his was stretched thin already with his access to his Magic, content to let him deal with the aftermath on his own.
And he does.
He misses Thanos and the Black Order, regrets having to leave his father without clear explanation, repentant of having left Gamora to deal with it, feels the gaping hole where his bond with the Mind stone was cut off, but he accepts his losses faster this time had been the point of his life as Harrhan if he didn't learn from it?
At the very essence of it, he's Harry Potter. But he's also Harrhan and Harley Keener. Harrhan was the bridge he had to cross to become better, to become who he can be and who he is. The presence might have doomed him to the twisted path of destruction, but he'd also been given something else.
(Family. Reconciliation. Protection.)
He still wasn't sure what Harley Keener is but he wouldn't reject this part of him. He'd walk down this path to see where it goes.
(Because he's still jaded and lost, but parts of him had been fixed now. He's not as broken.)
And the best part of being Harley Keener?
He had parents.
Birth parents who are alive.
(Makaerus was there, but Harrhan had been drowning in his own demons for a long, long time.)
Mom and dad took care of him, loved him unconditionally (like Thanos had, at the end, but he had let go of that, let the opportunity pass him by or hadn't been understanding enough for it until it wasn't there) and Harley was aware for it—was hoarding it in fear of having it slip away from his grasp again.
(They would call him needy, but Harley already knew that. He needed stability, this was what he got.)
Sure, they weren't perfect. Mom and dad argued more than they got along, but Harley was always a safe point for them and he wasn't ever treated wrong. They don't hit each other, but the angry yells are normal in their household.
(Had he actually been a normal child, he'd have been confused and more damaged than what he actually is in this situation.)
It was such a novel feeling.
-0-
Harley knew he'd already been human. He knew the customs, knew the general way things would go, knew that he's living somewhere that isn't Europe (the language and accents were telling, so somewhere in America?). He's aware of what could be the normal, human way.
(Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.)
But he'd lived as Harrhan for far longer than he had been as Harry Potter. It's actually a miracle he even remembers the things he does. And Harry Potter wasn't really a normal human anyway. (Neither is Harley, but he wanted to try to at least be normal. If not for his sake, then for his new parents.)
So, yes, it was hard to know what was expected of Harley.
Harder, when experiences from both of his previous bodies made him possess a phenomenal amount of tolerance from pain. Because when the initial flux of staggering emotions finally died down, Harley never cried. Not when he bumped his head, not when he scraped his hands and knees, not when he fell down the stairs and hit his head on the floor with mom watching him.
(Mom was so, so scared though. Dad was, too, and all Harley wanted to do was to not have them worry about him being in pain.
"Is okay, mommy," Harley cooed, his tongue and lips well-practiced at forming words even though he's only two, "Not hurt."
They bring him to the hospital, had him confined for days.
On hindsight, the amount of blood gushing out from his wound should have tipped him off. These are normal, human parents with normal worries. They didn't know it would take more than that to take him down.)
Another thing was how his thoughts were too fast for his body to keep up. So his words always stumbled against each other, his movements jittery and rapid. And Harley loved being able to talk (maybe it was a drawback to how soft-spoken Harrhan had been or maybe it was just the way he was born this time around).
His ability to process information, though... now that was impressive even for Harrhan. Harry Potter hadn't been the sharpest tool in the shed and Harrhan had the advantage of alien physiology and previous experience, but Harley?
Harley Keener, quite simply, could be called a genius. Eccentric, yes, but who wouldn't be with what he lived through?
Some of their neighbors think he's not quite all there.
The neighborhood kids think he's a freak.
-0-
They call it ADHD. Another added the possibility of early onset Bipolar Disorder. The other assumed autism spectrum.
(Maybe if he was an adult, they'd add in post-traumatic too.)
Harley was sorely tempted to set fire to the doctors his parents bring him to, but he doesn't because he has better manners than that. And showing his Magic and possibly committing murder was bad manners and would put his parents in a lot of trouble. So he lets it be. Harley knew who he is.
He does try to tone down his expressiveness, limits his own natural reactions to what was expected of a normal child. It doesn't always work, but it gets most of those accusations out of the actual diagnosis. He's left with ADHD, a few colorful pamphlets for his parents, a doctor's appointment once a month, and the shame of having a child that needed to see a shrink.
(Sometimes he wishes he was still Harhan, son of Thanos. Free to do what he wants as long as it never contradicted with his father's wishes. Free to please those he cared for without being questioned.)
-0-
Apparently, this world had superheroes.
Mom and dad never were too into that hype, but they still tried to get him into it. To have him be interested in something that his peers were into. They borrowed Captain America comics from their old friends, bought him action figures he could play with.
But no, Harley was too sensible to believe in superheroes.
Because with this kind of structure in society? Harley would be a villain (he accepts that, acknowledges the nature of what he did), and Thanos would be the ultimate bad guy. Harley was still Harrhan even if he's born in a different body in a different world.
(Heroes, superheroes—Harry had been a savior, a sacrifice, not a hero.
Harrhan had been a monster.)
It was a failing endeavor right from the start.
His dad, instead, got him interested in something else.
Because one look at his dad's cluttered garage? Harley felt purpose.
(And he remembers a small little girl with blue skin and wary eyes, remembers a woman with blue skin and more machine than person. Remembers how they all suffered.
Humanity is both a weakness and a strength.)
Harley starts spending most of his time in his dad's garage, tinkering around with what they had. He lets dad teach him things he could figure out in a few minutes, stops himself from seeming too brilliant, lets himself commit mistakes, doesn't let himself use Magic even if it would make things easier.
Harley Keener is going to be a great mechanic, he resolves.
-0-
Harley is about four when he gets a little sister.
It's both a blessing and a curse, like the start of a long-winded ritual that would spell something bad.
Having a little sister isn't so much a new experience as it was a learning curve for everyone.
Harley knew how to take care of other people, knew how to treat them with care. There was no petty jealousy of sharing his parents to suffer through. So, no, having a little sister wasn't much of a burden. What is, however, was the fact that she was born sickly.
Had they been living in a larger city and not some town in the middle of nowhere, his little sister (Emma, they named her) would have been in the hospital for longer than she already had. But they aren't rich, they don't have the money to pay hospital bills and keep up with the ones for their house.
Harley wanted to help, to heal his little sister.
Magic is powerful, he is powerful, but Death's claim cannot ever be revoked.
Little Emma was a dying little girl.
So is their mom.
-0-
Acquired immunodeficiency, they called it.
After one of the worst arguments mom and dad had, dad left.
(There were accusations of adultery. Harley thinks it's true.)
"He went to 7 Eleven," mom said when asked "to get scratchers."
Harley knew he would never come back.
-0-
School was...different.
Harley found everything to be rather dull and too easy. Even if it hadn't been anything like what Harry Potter had encountered, Harley breezed through assigned readings and cautiously given out math problems.
It took time to get accustomed with how fast he thought, with all the tangents his mind could get into (multitasking is a thing now). School put him in a pace that was similar to his peers but bored him out of his mind.
Everyone else dismissed him as the mouthy scrawny know-it-all.
-0-
Harley is five when he became responsible for running things at home.
Mom was too busy making ends meet, working day and night to at least give the semblance of what little Emma needs. Harley ends up raising his little sister, whispers to her that mommy and daddy loved her, that daddy left because he had to.
Little Emma probably wouldn't live long enough to understand, wouldn't be there to rage at their father and carry that grudge until she finds a way to make it better. (Part of him is thankful for it.)
It's okay, he thinks, he's used to this. People came and went, he supposes.
Harley ends up replacing a few of their appliances with ones that run on his Magic just to make their bills lighter, ends up having to cook and clean everything by himself. He has mom buying the groceries to keep her from seeing what's happening in their home.
It's like the Dursleys all over again but this time, Harley is doing it on his own volition.
"I'm sorry," mom tells him one night, too tired to even make the walk to her room so Harley had to bring down some pillows and blankets after he put Emma to sleep. "It's my fault. This shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry, Harley, and I'm so proud of you."
Harley spends the night beside her, hugging her through the tears that streamed down her face.
This happens again and again and again. Harley knows she's sorry, knows she's proud of him, knows she probably loved him and little Emma.
(All he really wanted was a thank you.)
He never hated her, not really, but that novelty of having parental figures had long since waned. He probably loved mom and dad and little Emma, but their situation is so, so difficult to maintain.
Because he knows they'll leave him and Harley can't do anything about it.
It's not ideal. It's broken and damaged, but this is family too. Until then, he'll do his best to keep it together.
-0-
(Sometimes he misses life as Harry Potter, finds himself practicing what Thanos has ingrained so deeply into Harrhan's body that it has bled through his Soul.)
-0-
Little Emma was a sheltered little girl.
Harley would be the first to admit that it might be partially his fault. But day by day, week after week, she grows worse, just as mom is.
And she's tiny. She's not growing as she should no matter how much they try to have her eat more.
He's doing his best to not let her catch any colds, does his best to relieve mom's stress as much as possible, but between attending school and their situation? Harley could only do so much.
-0-
Harley is nine when he discovered something that was both wonderful and horrifying.
The invasion of New York.
The chitauri.
Thanos is here.
There's a spark of amusement from the presence that had so far been silent.
He watches the TV with horrified fascination as the portal in New York let the chitauri in. And with one glance, one look at the tiny, tiny opening knew that whatever was happening, someone was working on minimizing the damage from the inside.
Harley knew how Thanos worked.
Earth was no match for his forces. Earth was too weak, too isolated (because he should have known this) to ever hope to fight against him. Their technology might be more than what Harry Potter knew, but Harrhan had seen hundreds that have better.
Even if Harley had ever believed in superheroes, he would still be most certain that the Avengers, whoever they were, wouldn't stand a chance. That invasion doesn't deserve to be called an invasion. Their army was much, much more than what these humans had seen.
That missile Iron Man had thrown into the portal may have caused a bit of damage, and perhaps had been the most destructive attack earth could have managed. Sacrifice. It made Harley respect the man more than he already does.
(Genius, billionaire, pioneer of the advanced technologies earth possesses, Merchant of Death, humanitarian philanthropist, then superhero? Harley may not be a fan or a believer, but he respects Tony Stark more than he did Captain America and his propaganda-fuelled fame.)
Nonetheless, it would have sent a far more unsavory message to the universe at large, and more importantly, Thanos's army. That attack had been a beacon that pointed to Earth's (misplaced, unready, unsuitable, and all negative words that explains this) power.
He watches the replay of the various footage they were able to accumulate, watches as the news eventually changed to focus on Loki.
Harley sneers, seeing his scepter in undeserving hands.
Loki of Asgard.
The one who led the invasion.
The one who worked inside to weaken the attack and inadvertently helped in saving the earth.
Harley wasn't sure if he was thankful or not, but knows the Aesir would not be living long enough to see the end of this war. (Because that's what it is- what it always had been.)
-0-
Now that he knows that this world (reality?) is the same as the one Harrhan had lived in, Harley could pick out the unique energy that the stones possessed.
And, oh, there are three right here on earth.
The Mind stone, the Space stone, and the Time stone.
The question of Thanos arriving on earth was not an if but a when. Knowing his father as much as he does, it wouldn't be too long. Certainly, he would take a step back after that failed invasion, but that respite wouldn't last long. A decade, maybe. Sometime within the century, definitely.
There wouldn't be enough time for earth to prepare.
Harley finds himself torn between his nostalgic attachment on earth and humanity, and his loyalty to Thanos.
-0-
Harley Keener is ten when Tony Stark broke into his garage.
Poros - (Πόρος), spirit of expediency, the means of accomplishing or providing, contrivance and device
ARC 1 END
Just to be clear, I'm not bashing Captain America. Harley, while able to sympathize with the heroes to a degree, had chosen to be critical on them; mommy and daddy Keener weren't into the hero thing either, so Harley didn't find it necessary to change his primary opinion. When he meets Steve Rogers and the team, he'll probably reconsider it, depending on what he sees.
That Humanity thing? I subconsciously used the Freudian concept of Phylogenetic Endowment and the Jungian concept of the Collective Unconscious in that one lol. I only realized it days after I wrote that part.
See y'all next chapter! (in which there would be a pace change)