September 7th, 1991
Nicholas's vision was dizzy.
In one hand was the letter, that he'd received from Mel yesterday. The other held a bottle, that he had received from Madame Pomfrey after his visit to the infirmary. His breath came out shaky, as he made his way to the transfiguration classroom following Professor McGonagall. Ignoring the looks from his fellow students, he stumbled after her. He gripped the bottle and the letter so tight that he could feel the edges of his fingers going numb.
'Dear Nicholas,
I don't know what you want me to say. Except that me, Mum and Dad love you very much.
There's a lot of things we haven't told you, and unfortunately the job's fallen down to me since mum and dad's death last year. I never wanted to tell you this way, and I'm more than happy to explain it to you more when you come home.
But the simple truth is, that you are right. I wish it was under different circumstances but you are adopted.
Mum brought you home when you were nearly two years old, 9 years ago. But that doesn't matter, Jake and I still love you and that will never change. I know it's really horrible to find out over a letter, nevermind having to somewhat find out first from other people than your family. But you're still a Drake. Nothing will change that.
Keep in touch ok?
Mel and Jake.'
"Nick, it might not be true." said Hermione, her eyes still scanning the letter he'd received from Mel. Nicholas sat on one of the plushy chairs in the gryffindor common room in front of the fire, his face covered by his hands as he struggled to keep his breathing under check.
"Why would she make it up if it wasn't?" Nicholas asked quietly, he looked up to the sound of the portrait door opening. Harry and Ron came through, chatting quietly as they found Hermione comforting a distressed Nicholas.
"Hey, what's happened? Got a bad grade from Binns?" Ron joked, setting himself on the sofa next to Nicholas whilst Harry perched on the armrest on Nicholas's other side.
"It's not funny Ron, Nick just got a letter from home." Hermione passed on the letter to Harry and Ron, who read it above Nicholas's head. Nicholas heard them both let out a deep breath.
"Can't be true, can it?" Harry asked at last, looking to Hermione and Ron.
"That's what I said, but we can't be sure." Hermione said leaning forward, grasping onto one of Nicholas's forearms trying to pull his hands from his face.
"Nick, Maybe it's not true" Harry tried, tilting his head to try and get a look at Nicholas's face "Why don't you go to Madam Pomfrey and see if there's a way that she can prove it?"
"I don't want to." Nicholas whispered, sniffling as he wiped his nose on the sleeve of his jumper, "I don't want to be a Black. I want to be Jake's uncle and Mel's baby brother. What if Madam Pomfrey finds the people who gave me away? I don't want to know them." Nicholas angrily swiped a tear cascading down his face.
"You never know mate, they could have had reasons." Said Ron, patting his back awkwardly.
"Shouldn't have had me in the first place then." Nicholas snatched back the letter, ignoring the shouts from his friends calling him back as he made his way out of the gryffindor common room.
Nicholas broke into a run straight from the gryffindor common room to the infimary, ignoring the looks and the people he shoved out of the way to get there. He'd already been shouted at by McGonagall for running down the stairs and in his haste had completely ignored the witch. There was only one thing on his mind.
He had to find out if it was true. He had to find out why he was given away.
Nicholas had never felt so angry in his life, so frustrated and upset. He knew he was acting like a kid. There was no reason to be upset, he grew up in a happy home. Surrounded by people he knew loved him. But for some reason, being told over a letter that he wasn't actually part of the family by blood had sent his mind whirling.
The doors to the infirmary slammed open, revealing a disorientated Nicholas. Panting heavily as his eyes scanned the large room for Madam Pomfrey, he found the healer coming out of her office clearly annoyed by the loud entrance he'd made.
"Mr Black! May I remind you that this is an infirmary and not a common room! People are resting-"
"I'm sorry, Madam Pomfrey," Nicholas's voice broke, wavering heavily as tears started falling again "But please, I-I need to know-" He handed the letter over gingerly, as though he'd just signed his life away "D-Do you have a way of f-finding out? W-Who I belong to anyway?"
Madam Pomfrey's face fell before she'd even received the letter, like Hermione her eyes scanned the letter before looking back at the distressed boy in front of her. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders, leading him towards her office.
"Come along Black."
"Sit down, Black." Professor McGonagall finally said upon reaching her office, adjoined to the transfiguration room. She noticed the boy wincing at the name as she sat behind her desk, looking pointedly towards a red armchair in front of her. Nicholas sat down with a heavy sigh, before handing over the bottle of blood and letter quietly relieved after clenching at them for so long.
"Cup of tea?" She asked, before reaching over to read the letter. Nicholas shrugged in response watching her use her wand to levitate a tray on her desk. A cup of tea being poured out for him in a small teacup and a single sugar cube plopped in. Nicholas tried to organise his thoughts as he picked up the cup of tea gently, blowing over the top to let it cool down to then take a sip. He let the warmth wash over him.
"Thanks professor." His voice came out to barely a whisper, but he knew she heard. She sent him a look as she dropped the letter onto the desk in front of her, picking up the bottle instead to look at the label.
"Now, what seems to be the problem?" She carefully folded her hands in front of her.
"Professor?" He asked incredulously.
"It was to my understanding that you grew up in a happy home, with your sister and nephew I presume?" Nodding to the letter in front of him "So why are you so upset on this lovely Saturday morning?"
"I-I…" Nicholas struggled to find the words "I feel lost Professor." He finally admitted, casting his eyes down to the cup of tea he held in his hands "I didn't want to come here in the first place, I didn't want to leave my sister- Melissa, or my nephew Jake. Everything is happening all at once- and I don't know what to do."
He then began to explain about Malfoy and the bouts of bullying he'd received upon coming to Hogwarts, about how this one surname seemed to change everything about him. Hearing it out loud himself, Nicholas seemed to hate himself more for allowing these tiny things to get the better of him. He'd always been calm and relaxed, yet these small things affected him more than he'd normally let on.
"There's nothing wrong with being a Black." McGonagall began, "It's an ancient lineage in the wizarding world. Full of powerful and noble wizards and witches."
"It's not that Professor…" Nicholas replied, finally looking up to meet her eyes "I just- I don't want to know them. My… actual parents you know? Of course I would want to meet them, but I feel so frustrated."
"Would it change your feelings towards your parents if you knew them?"
"I don't know. I just, I think I always kind of knew I was different from my family. They all have the same hair, same eyes, same personality. I'd always felt like I wasn't really part of it despite me growing up with them," Nicholas let out a shaky breath "Did I do something? Did my parents hate me?"
Nicholas fought to keep the tears back again, feeling his chest clenching hearing the words out loud.
"I was a baby, and they didn't want me!" His eyes stinging as he wiped frustratedly at his face, "Was I a mistake? That they wanted me one christmas but threw me out before the next?"
McGonagall handed him a silky handkerchief, he gingerly took it from her to wipe at his face with. He looked over at the bottle on the table, the word Black seemed to taunt him. Making him sick to his stomach.
"I want you to wipe those tears away," McGonagall said finally watching the boy with the wide grey eyes looking up at her "And then take a deep breath, Black." Nicholas let out a shaky breath.
"Your birth was not a mistake, I assure you. For whatever reason that you were put up for adoption is one you are yet to discover, but that is not and will never be your fault," She said firmly "You are a young boy, your only worries now should be homework and what to eat for lunch."
"But Professor, My family-"
"Have lost a very bright and brave wizard. Yes, I agree. Just because you aren't related by blood does not make you part of your new one" Professor McGonagall nodded back to the letter, "And by the sounds of it, your sister does not care about that fact either."
"Do you know much about them? The Blacks I mean?" Nicholas asked, shakily taking a sip of his tea.
"I know of them, yes. I can get in contact with one of them to talk to you if it will help." McGonagall said slowly, watching Nicholas's face brighten a bit. He nodded in response.
"However, I ask that you do not dwell on it Black. You have your own family now, and whilst it would be enlightening for you to get to know them and whilst you may be related by blood. Knowing the truth of your adoption might hurt you more." His head of house pulled out a piece of parchment and her quill, scribbling something onto it before extending it to her.
"So I will give you this choice instead. On that piece of paper, I've given you the name of one of your blood related relatives. What you do is up to you, but keep in mind what I've just said. You have a choice to continue your life here knowing that back home you have a loving sister and a nephew or you can get in contact with your other living relatives and go from there." Nicholas took the piece of paper from her hands, Andromeda Tonks was written in neat cursive handwriting.
"Professor, do you have a guess of who my parents are?" Nicholas finished the last of his tea, asking the professor in finality. His head of house paused momentarily, before shaking her head.
"I'm afraid not, but perhaps Black it would do well for you to focus on other things for the time being? Perhaps your friend Potter, Weasley and Granger? Who I'm sure are anxiously awaiting for you in the common room?" Nicholas nodded again, folding the piece of paper in his pocket before standing.
"Thank you, Professor." Nicholas said at last, bowing out quietly out of her office. Professor McGonagall inclined her head in response waiting for the young gryffindor to close the door softly. She let out a deep sigh, picking up the bottle on the desk he had left behind. The young boy with the prominent grey eyes and black wavy hair, looking far too familiar.
She waved her wand over the bottle, knowing full well the reason why Poppy hadn't shown the boy the full extent of the label on the bottle. Leaving the decision to tell the boy of his true parentage to her.
The words on the label seemed to disappear, faint letters rearranging themselves into two names. McGonagall had already known it as soon as Nicholas stepped through the front doors on the first day, but for some reason seeing the name on the bottle still seemed to shock her.
Sirius Orion Black and Clare Ann Davies.
Meanwhile, Nicholas walked back to the Gryffindor tower with his letter and the paper McGonagall had given him in his pockets. McGonagall was right, he shouldn't have given it so much thought to the point it was the only thing on his mind. It was only going to drive him mad.
His footsteps took him up to the Gryffindor entrance, he opened his mouth to say the password when the portrait swung open.
"No! Stay here in case he comes back!" Hermione shouted behind her as she nearly crashed into him.
"But Hermione he's our friend too!- Nick!" Harry's eyes widened, Nicholas waved half-heartedly.
"We thought you'd gotten on the train home!" said Ron jumping out of the entrance.
"Went to the infirmary, had to get checked out." Nicholas lied, he noticed Hermione's eyes scanning him in speculation "Thought I was going crazy."
"Well, at least we know you're not." Harry joked clapping him on the shoulder "C'mon let's get some lunch."
Hermione looped her arm through his, sending him a small smile as she dragged him along to the great hall with Harry and Ron on his other side. Nicholas ignored the feeling in his chest, pushing the conversation he'd just had with McGonagall out of his mind as he relaxed with his friends.