Author's Note: Hey, guys. Guess who's really sorry for a ridiculously long wait? *sheepishly raises hand* I've discovered something very important about myself during this quarantine. When my life loses all structure, I lose all ability to get anything done. That being said, enough excuses from me. Sorry to keep y'all waiting.

Disclaimer: Neither Supernatural or Doctor Who is mine. Also, I don't know if this insanity could actually work, but for the sake of fiction, let's just say it could

Chapter 18: An Offer He Can't Refuse

"Sewage pipes? Really?" Sam asked, bitch face out in full force.

I rolled my eyes. "Just to get us on the property. We'll use the air ducts to get into the actual building."

"Don't you think they'll have somebody keeping an eye on easy access points like that?"

"Well, first of all, people in charge of prison security aren't actually that smart. Second, the vents are kinda small. A full-grown man probably wouldn't fit, but we will. And third, the guards are way more concerned with keeping people in than out."

"And how are you planning on getting out, if adults can't get through the ducts? In case you hadn't noticed, Dean, the Doctor's an adult."

"Don't sweat it, Sammy." I said, patting the kid's shoulder. "I've got a few ideas, but I'll have to get a read on the situation before I pick one."

Sam sighed. "Yeah, 'cause that's always encouraging."

XxXxX

"Dude, I don't even wanna know what I'm stepping in." Sam said as we carefully made our way through the sewage pipe, honestly the most disgusted I'd ever heard a human being sound.

I raised an eyebrow, even though, since he was behind me, he couldn't see my face. "If you don't wanna know, then why are you bringing it up?"

"Because it's gross, Dean!"

"Hey, I didn't hear you coming up with any alternative plans, so quit bitching. Besides, we're only gonna be in here for a few minutes, and there's no way you're enough of a pussy that you can't last a few minutes."

Sammy muttered something under his breath that I couldn't quite make out about what exactly he thought I could do with my plan, and I couldn't help smirking.

It wasn't long before we reached our exit and clambered out into the blessedly clean air just outside the prison. There was no way in hell I was gonna admit it to Sam, but I was more than a little relieved to get out of there and hopefully never go back in.

"You've got your swiss, right?" I asked as we quickly snuck over to the wall, glancing around for guards and cameras. Thankfully, there didn't seem to be any in our general vicinity.

Sam nodded. "'Never go anywhere without it', right?"

"Awesome. Hop up."

It took a little maneuvering, but before long I had Sammy sitting on my shoulders so that he was level with the grate over the entrance to the air ducts, removing the screws in the corners with the phillips head on his pocket knife. He carefully passed it down to me when he was finished, and I lowered it to the ground as quietly as I could. Taking one last look around to make sure nobody was watching us, I boosted the kid in, and once I'd given him enough time to get out of my way, I jumped up and pulled myself inside too. There really wasn't any way to reattach the grate, so we'd just have to hope nobody noticed it.

"Alright, let's go."

It was slow going. Ventilation ducts, as everyone knows, are ridiculously loud, so we crept along as quietly as we could and prayed the small noises we were making weren't audible. There were more grates at seemingly random intervals, giving us glimpses into rooms and cells and hallways.

Finally, after a good half hour of searching, we found who we were looking for.

"Pst. Hey, Doc. In here."

"Boys?" The Doctor hopped up from his bed, throwing a cautious look at his sleeping cellmate as he came over to the grate. "Damn, am I glad to see you. Where have you been?"

"We'll explain later. Right now, let's focus on getting you out of here." I said. "I've got an idea, but first, I gotta know: what kinda shit are the guys on this cellblock in for?"

The Doctor laughed. "None of them are murderers, if that's what you mean. Why?"

"I'm gonna convince the guard to open all the cells: it'll be a lot easier to get out of here if there's a bunch of us at once."

"How're you going to get him to do that?" Sam asked, frowning.

I smirked. "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

"The Godfather, Dean? Really?"

"Oh, come on, it's a great -" I cut myself off, hit with a sudden thought. "You know what? The Godfather is one movie I don't have to defend. Not to you, not to anyone. It won Academy Awards for Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay, Marlon Brando won Best Actor for his performance, and it's widely recognized as one of the greatest films of all time. It's a cinematic masterpiece - "

"Okay, okay, I get it."

XxXxX

I cocked my gun with an audible click. "Put your hands in the air, stand up, and turn around. Slowly."

"Okay." Very cautiously, the guy sitting in front of the monitor and panel of buttons did as he was told, frowning slightly when he caught sight of us.

"But you're kids." he said blankly.

I rolled my eyes. "Brilliant deduction, Watson."

"How did you even get in here? And where did you get a gun?"

"None of your damn business. Now, just do as I say, and nobody gets hurt."

"Kid, I dunno what it is they've got on you, but you don't have to -"

"Shut up." I took a step toward him, my gun trained on his face. "I want you to open all the cells on Block D, and every other door between there and the exit."

The guy paled. "You've gotta be kidding me. At the very least, I'd lose my job if I did that -"

"Yeah, well, you'll lose your life if you don't, so…" I trailed off with a very pointed look at my gun, then shrugged. "Up to you."

"Okay, okay. Just calm down."

"And if you even think about letting anyone know we're here, I'm putting a bullet right between your eyes."'

The guy nodded nervously and started pushing buttons. Before long, all the doors we needed were open and inmates were flooding the hallway.

"Okay, Sammy, lock him up."

Sam nodded, pulling a couple sets of handcuffs out of his pocket.

I smiled at the guard and gestured to a chair with my gun. "Take a seat."

"C'mon, kids, is this really necessary -"

"Now."

Shaking slightly, the guy sat down, and Sam used one set of cuffs on his ankles and the other to secure his arms behind him.

"Well, it's been great doing business with you, but I really do have other things to do with my life and my time, so, if you'll excuse us, we'll be on our way. I'm sure someone will come along and let you out eventually." With a last sarcastic salute and a smile, I led Sam out the door.

I grabbed the kid's wrist tightly the second we got into the hallway: it was still full of inmates, and this really wasn't the ideal time to get separated.

"Let's get outta here." Sam said.

I nodded my agreement and we began weaving our way through the crowd, trying to find the Doctor. Some of the inmates gave us rather annoyed looks as we pushed past them, but for the most part, they didn't really pay us much attention.

We'd just barely made it out the front door when the alarms started going off, deafening and shrill. Starting to feel a little desperate now, I tried to get through faster, dragging Sammy along behind me. This was so not the place to get caught.

"Sam! Dean!"

Another hand grabbed my unoccupied one, and I looked up to see the Doctor. We exchanged an understanding nod and took off towards the front gate with the rest of the inmates.

Only about half of the crowd made it through before it shut with a clang, but there were enough people to make it difficult for the cops to follow each one as we scattered in all directions.

I glanced back at the prison one more time with a self-satisfied smirk.

Suckers.

XxXxX

Before long, we were back in the Tardis and safely floating in some remote corner of space, far, far away from anyone who might want to bother us. Sam and I were just chilling on the floor in the control room where the Doctor had left us with strict orders not to mess with anything while he went to change out of his prison clothes. Something about how we could accidentally send us flying into the heart of a supernova or something, I dunno.

"Well, that was insane." Sam said, looking more than a little exhausted.

I nodded. "You can say that again."

We were silent for a second, just enjoying the peace and the satisfaction of a job well done. I'd always wanted to pull a prison break, and now I could check it off the bucket list.

"Hey, Dean?" Sam said quietly. "You wouldn't have actually shot that guy, would you?"

"Of course not. Stuff like that, it's like poker. Sure, you're bluffing, but you can't let them know that."

"Fair." Sam agreed.

"So, where do you think we oughta go now?" I asked, changing the subject.

Sam shrugged with a yawn. "To sleep?"

"I second that motion." the Doctor said, walking into the room. "Everything's been an absolute mess for quite awhile, and there's plenty of time to catch up once we can all see straight again."

Sam laughed slightly as we got to our feet. "Sounds good to me."

"You sure you're all good, Doc?" I double checked. "Hanging out in the slammer can't have been a picnic."

The Doctor smiled tiredly. "Yes, Dean, I'm sure; don't waste your time worrying. We'll talk in the morning."

Author'sAfterthought: Reviews would be greatly appreciated: I love to hear your guys's thoughts! Also, does anybody have any preferences for where the Doctor takes the boys next?