For These Scars
~Chapter 21~
Written by: RinoaDestiny
King of Fighters, Kyo Kusanagi, Iori Yagami, Saisyu Kusanagi, and Benimaru Nikaido belong to SNK
The cursor on his phone blinked, a continual motion within his periphery; Iori stared away from it, gazing instead towards the entranceway and door. Just this afternoon, Kyo surprised him with an unannounced visit and the entanglement of emotions hitting all at once threatened to unmoor him. The unexpected appearance of Kyo's cousin, Aoi Kusanagi and her revelation hadn't helped. Caught between shock, bewilderment, despair, brief moments of rage, and resignation, he hadn't noticed the flickers of relief until hours after Kyo left.
His apartment was empty without Kyo's presence. Hollow.
He'd missed him but he hadn't reckoned on their brief reunion casting his feelings into stark and unmistakable terms. His life was once isolated and alone by choice – a decided solitude – but Kyo changed all that. He'd changed his schedule to accommodate them both and hadn't realized until after the incident how much of an impact it'd made. How Kyo's absence was a raw wound – how much it hurt to go through those mornings and evenings and not have him here. It wasn't the same now, after.
If he could've foreseen his initial obsession with Kyo leading into this…
Iori stood, phone in hand. Took a few uneven steps forward.
He wouldn't change a damn thing. He'd gained something valuable and it was the antithesis of how the Yagami clan operated. Of their tenets, of how they raised their children, and of the brutal training he and all previous heirs underwent. For the Yagami clan scorned weakness and what greater weakness than love?
Love was a vulnerability. Love made people stupid. Love undermined resolve.
That was what he was taught, or made to understand growing up under his father's authority. His birth wasn't out of love or some youthful whim – he was born to carry on the line, to continue the never-ending war with the Kusanagi clan. Kyo mentioned during their third month together that if his cousin Souji Kusanagi had remained heir, Iori would've been saying a very different name. He'd stated back that Souji didn't quite have the same vibe as the name Kyo; Kyo, for once, agreed. Still, it wouldn't have changed things. He would've gone against Souji Kusanagi, then, and continued the strife.
But would he be in this situation now? Would he have learned to love? Would he have suffered for it? Would that have happened with Souji Kusanagi, or was it only possible with Kyo?
He kept taking steps until he reached the entranceway. He didn't bother putting on his shoes. Opening the door, Iori exited the apartment. A couple more steps brought him against the railing, which he leaned on for support. Inhaling, he took in the crisp night air, feeling more like himself tonight than he had for the past few days. There were stars and even a sliver of moon in the sky, but poetic niceties weren't for him today.
In the six months they'd been together, he'd never told Kyo he loved him.
Love wasn't something he ever knew, or ever acknowledged if he had known it before. He'd been too young to comprehend it and without a mother, had only known the careful care of his nursemaids and guardians. Since they, too, reinforced the Yagami clan's edicts, he was never taught this vulnerability called love. His father, intent on molding him into the deadliest weapon aimed at the Kusanagi clan, had no time for it and demonstrated nothing like it.
To Iori, his childhood and early adolescence was a memory of loneliness, scathing criticism, and constant brutality. The only genuine gentleness he received was from the cats roaming the estate's grounds. He'd learned to care for them – to feed them and take them in during storms – but having been withheld love, knew nothing beyond that.
So when Kyo called his bluff on his empty remarks about killing him, Iori had been baffled.
Of course he was going to kill Kyo Kusanagi. That was the entire meaning of his life, wasn't it?
Except, something had changed and he wasn't certain when it did.
Kyo had been the one to see it first. Kyo had also been the one to point it out to him. He'd been confused – when had it changed? – and compounding his newfound feelings was the realization that it wasn't one-sided. It'd thrown him off balance, his life readjusting and Kyo hadn't left him alone to struggle with an emotion he'd never known before. Their first month before they became comfortable enough to call an actual start to their relationship was about discovering why it happened.
For Iori, it was straightforward once Kyo helped him unravel his obsession. It'd left him even more confounded, but Kyo had explained it was like that sometimes. As for Kyo, Iori never found out why he reciprocated. He wasn't even sure if Kyo knew why. But the other man had raised the issue, which wasn't necessary unless…unless Kyo felt the same?
By their fourth month, Iori no longer questioned where Kyo stood.
Kyo told him. Told him he loved him. Told him he was glad their feud was over.
Iori hadn't been able to say the same words back, despite having identical feelings. It just…he wasn't one to say things like that. Somehow, Kyo knew. Kyo never asked him to say the words; instead, smiled, as if understanding why and took at face value his actions. For Iori was all about actions and as their relationship deepened, it was apparent to them both where he stood.
Iori took another careful breath, filling his lungs with clean cool air. Outside, it was more comfortable and although he continued sweating, the light breeze eased his discomfort. Insects chirped in companionable harmony and in the distance, he heard nighttime traffic. The parking lot was somewhat full – there were still salarymen working late hours or having corporate drinking parties – and here and there were cars and motorcycles. Seeing the motorcycles reminded him of Kyo and his absence was a wound.
Kyo had gotten Aoi Kusanagi's help – the girl was also a biker – and it stood to reason why Kyo couldn't stay the night. It was too risky and if Saisyu Kusanagi and Kyo's uncle Hajime found out…
There wouldn't be a second chance. Not for him. Not for Kyo.
Aoi Kusanagi would also be in danger and…
Kyo wouldn't do that to his cousin. Iori understood. He'd been the one to push him away, after all. He'd done so, denying himself his heart's yearning. If Kyo stayed any longer…if Kyo kissed him any longer…
Their emotions ran strong. Their feelings for each other ran high. If he hadn't told Kyo to go, Kyo would never leave. Someone had to look out for Kyo, and that'd be him. He didn't have long to live and tying Kyo down to his fate was unfair. He still believed this despite Kyo making his choice earlier this afternoon. Kyo was rash; Kyo was optimistic; Kyo was…. Kyo loved him and was ready to oppose his own clan because of the injustice. Because he wanted to succeed whereas one of his ancestors failed.
Iori didn't see what difference it'd make but Kyo had never been one to give up.
He looked down at the phone in his hand. At the blinking cursor in the text box.
His struggle against his decline was futile. He was bound to lose. It wasn't a battle he was meant to win. He'd come to terms with it – had told Kyo the same. Wanted him to be ready when it happened.
Kyo had told him he wasn't dead, yet.
He was going to die but the fight wasn't over. If Kyo wasn't quitting, then…
Iori tapped the screen, starting to fill the once blank text box with characters.
If Kyo wasn't quitting, then neither should he. They'd been of the same mindset as former rivals; as lovers, this mindset was the only anchor he had and the only thing at this point in his life to pull him through this difficult time. If he lost it...if he gave up…
Wouldn't it be better to just lie down and die, then?
He finished typing out his message.
Kyo had mentioned speaking to Benimaru Nikaido about scheduling their public meeting. That wasn't necessary. Iori wasn't going to wait this time for Nikaido to initiate. It wasn't a bold move but at least he wasn't sitting and waiting around. He was tired of doing that – of watching the world go by while he was in standstill.
He read the message once, made a slight correction, and hit "Send".
Nikaido, there's a park fifteen minutes from my place. You and Kyo know which one. If you're able, arrange for Kyo to meet you and Daimon there. This Saturday around noon. Can't do anything after that. Tell Kyo not to be an idiot. Yagami.
It was a weight off his shoulders.
He'd see Kyo again before dying. Before his world came to an end.
No, the fight wasn't over. Not yet. Not while he was still able to stand. Still able to breathe. But an ending was coming and he wasn't foolish enough to believe he'd survive past it. Iori pocketed his phone, gripped the railing with both hands and looked at the warm and welcoming lights of the neighboring apartment complexes and buildings across and beyond where he stood. The sliver of moon disappeared behind some clouds, leaving only stars.
It was colder now. He still burned within, fire in his veins and heat in his lungs.
He loved Kyo.
He never could tell him that, though. Would never be able to, now.