Synopsis: Lena Daniels has been in love with Jax Teller for half of her life. As she finally gains his heart, an old love comes back to Charming and threatens their future. Will Lena be able to handle Tara, and Jax's steady rise into the President's chair with SAMCRO?
Pairings: Jax Teller x Lena Daniels (OC), Jax Teller x Tara Knowles (past, mentioned), Jax Teller x Wendy Case (past)
Time Setting: Seasons 1-7
Warnings: DARK FIC fluff, angst, unprotected sex (wrap it, before you tap it, folks), pregnancy, miscarriage, insecurities, infidelity, canon SOA violence & gore, STRONG language, drug & alcohol use, lots of taking the LORD's name in vain, mentions of racism, mentions of rape, and character deaths
Author's Note: So, I forgot to post this in the first chapter. This is my first Sons of Anarchy story for those of you who are fans of the show. This fic is an interracial Jax fanfiction. This fic is a Dark Fic. It is set during the timeline of the entire series, but I'm not going full canon. There will be things that are actually what happened in the show, but with my own twist, and things that are not show canon. The narrative is set to fit the story itself. If you are a Tara Knowles fan, be warned, as this story may not be for you. Also please HEED the warnings. They are there for those get triggered by certain topics. I will post another warning before each chapter to give a final warning.
bethie86: thank you.
Emmettluver2010: oh, thank you so much. here is the next update.
Tara Knowles was the love of Jax's life when they were teenagers right up until she left him nearly 10 years ago. When Tara left, Jax's whole world crashed, and somehow Lena was left to pick up the broken pieces.
Lena Daniels met a young Jax Teller when she was barely 14 years old. Her mother, Leslie, had raised her away from the MC up until then.
Lena's grandfather was one of SAMCRO's patched First 9, along with Clay, Piney, and Jax's father, John Teller. When he found out that his daughter had fallen in love with a young black man, heading into the army, he had immediately disapproved. And when Leslie fought against it, Lena's grandfather had disowned his very own daughter for marrying someone outside of her race. But that had all changed the moment his eyes first laid on Lena's the day she was born.
When Lena's father died of cancer, her mother, with no dime to their names, packed up their belongings and moved them back to Charming where the MC happily took them in. It was a struggle for Leslie when she first came back to Charming. Dealing with the death of her husband and coming back to a town that she hated to take care of her ailing father, was hard for her to take.
When Lena's grandfather finally took his last breath, it was even harder for Lena to watch, in horror, as the beautiful woman that was her mother turned croweater turned alcoholic until the day she drunkenly blew her brains out on Lena's 19th birthday.
From that moment on, Jax had always been there for Lena, as she had been for him. He looked out for her; protected her. And she fell for him. Hard.
Lena never told Jax how she felt about him. She just watched him go from relationship to relationship, finally falling head over heels in love with the beautiful Tara Knowles. Tara was smart and perfect. But she was never meant to stay in Charming. Lena knew that Tara couldn't handle the life of being an "old lady", but was still very much surprised on the day the future doctor decided to pack up and leave.
Tara's leaving left Jax in a vulnerable state for a few years after, and so he decided to fuck his way through Charming and even through some parts of Stockton and Oakland.
Even Lena was stupid enough to allow herself to fall prey to Jax's charming advances. She believed and hoped that her warming his bed at night, that he'd end up feeling for her what she felt for him. Little did she know that her bad boy biker lover did return those feelings, but had already declared himself not worthy of her love. So, with Gemma's incessant pushing for grandkids, Jax married Wendy Case, the croweater junkie, that he'd fuck on occasion.
It was four months ago, when Jax finally pulled his head out of his ass, finally realizing that Lena was good for him, and that they'd be great together. But Lena always had a feeling, stabbing, in the back of her mind, that if and when Tara chose to turn back up in Charming that that would be it for her and Jax.
So, fast forward to now, where Lena was still standing and watching as Jax and a returned Tara were having a conversation. Lena believed that the conversation was obviously about Jax's son, and whatever was happening with Wendy, since it looked like Tara was the doctor that was going to be assigned to this case. But it didn't stop Lena's resolve from crumbling.
Without being seen, Lena quickly turned on her heels to head straight out of the hospital. She didn't have the time or the strength to deal with any of this. She needed to collect and regroup herself before she would have a face to face with Tara Knowles after all these years.
But since life hated her so much, she was stopped in her tracks, again, as she accidentally bumped into a hard body.
"Going somewhere?"
Lena looked up. Of course, it would be Gemma standing in front of her, holding onto a cup of disgusting hospital coffee. "Yeah, I'm just about to head back to the clubhouse to finish my shift. Hey, did you know that Tara Knowles is back in town?"
Gemma stiffened, and her hold on the styrofoam cup tightened. "Yeah, that bitch is back. She's overseeing the baby's case."
Lena felt her heart dip into her stomach. The nausea was starting to bubble up in her stomach again. "Oh, did Jax know she was back in town before today?"
Gemma looked at Lena knowingly. "I don't know. What's with the 20 questions? Does this have anything to do with the good Doctor and your old man's past?"
Lena swallowed thickly, trying to quell her queasy stomach. She definitely didn't want to answer that question. Especially not to Gemma. "Uh, never mind. Forget I asked anything. Just tell Jax that I'll be at the clubhouse or whatever." She quickly brushed past Gemma and continued out of the hospital.
When Lena finally returned to the clubhouse, she headed straight for Jax's room, where she had on own key. She made her way into the bathroom, shutting the door closed behind her and turning on the lock.
Her stomach churned, twisting itself in knots, and threatening to spill again. But she held it down. As much as she could. Instead, she searched through the contents of her purse and pulled out an object that was stuffed inside a plastic zip lock bag. The object; a plastic, white wand with her current fate flashing in her face.
As she stared down at the object, she felt the tears stinging the back of her eyes. This was definitely not a good time for this to be happening. Not with Wendy, and Jax's son being born prematurely. And now Tara was back in town. She didn't even know exactly how to handle it all.
Lena sighed heavily, looking down at the very positive pregnancy test, trembling between her fingers, as it stared back at her tauntingly.
Yeah, this was definitely not a good time.
It had been a few hours when Jax finally returned to the clubhouse from being gone all afternoon. Lena had been finishing up the little bit of cleaning she had left, while a few of the croweaters left behind had been giving her a hand.
The moment Jax's tired blue eyes landed on hers, she immediately knew that he needed some comfort. Stopping what she was doing, leaving it to the other girls, she immediately rushed up and into Jax's arms. She ran the tips of her fingers up his arms, settling them around his neck, pulling him into a hug. She felt him release a heavy breath, as he shoved his face into her neck and wrapped his arms around her waist.
Lena held onto Jax for a few more moments, running a hand through his blonde locks, before he pulled back and pressing his mouth to hers. She kissed him back deeply, feeling the scruff from his beard, scratching her skin.
When they finally pulled apart, she grabbed his hand, interlocking their fingers and taking him back to his room that he was currently sleeping in at the clubhouse. Once they were inside, Lena locked the door, as Jax went to sit down on the unkempt bed. She then turned to face him, before making her way over. She sat down on her knees, to help him remove his now dirty, white sneakers. Placing her hands on his knees, she looked up at him and noticed that his knuckles had cuts and bruises dancing across them.
Lena reached up to grab his hands, inspecting the damage, before whispering, "what did you do?"
Jax shook his head. "I'm fine."
Lena knew he wasn't, but she didn't push the subject. The last thing he needed right now was her hassling him about his fighting. "So, have you been at the hospital all day?" She asked, obviously knowing what the answer was. And with the shake of his head, she was proven right. "Where'd you go, Jax?"
Jax shrugged, suddenly standing to his feet walking over to his dresser. "I had some business to take care of for the club. Then I went to see Ope." He then proceeded to remove his kutte, sweatshirt, and white t-shirt underneath.
Lena sighed heavily, also standing to her feet. "How's he doing? I ran into Donna the other day at the store."
Jax turned to face her, leaning against the dresser, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "He's adjusting." He gets quiet, looking off for a few, before turning back to Lena. "Mom said you cut out of the hospital just as I got there."
Lena nodded, folding her arms across her chest. "Yeah, I just wanted to make sure that Wendy got to the hospital, and I came back to finish up here." She lied, to cover up the fact that she was anxious because Tara was back in town, and she didn't want to cut open that old wound. "How's the baby?"
Jax looked down at his sock covered feet, running a hand through his hair. "It's not good, Lee. I can't even look at him." He admitted, and Lena could hear the desolation in his voice.
Lena's heart broke at the news. "How's Gemma taking it?"
Jax waited a beat, before saying, "not good either. Though, she believes that he'll pull through."
Lena's brows furrowed in confusion. "And you don't."
He shrugged again. "I was told he has a 20 percent chance of surviving, Lee." Lena's heart dropped at that news. "What does that sound like to you?"
Lena didn't say a word, she just made her way over to him. As she went to comfort him once again, he quickly stopped her, by grabbing her wrist. She looked down at him confused and a bit rejected. He then stood up straight and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on the side of her face. She then watched as he made his way into the bathroom.
When Jax shut the bathroom door, Lena released a deep, shuddering breath. She knew that Jax was dealing with a lot. The things going on with the club that he never shared with her for her own protection, and now his son, who was just born, that might not even have the chance to experience an actual life.
And on top of that, Lena was carrying on her own secret from Jax. A secret, in which she knew, would not be well accepted at this time. So, it was best to keep it a secret for just a little while longer.
When Lena heard the sound of the shower running, she decided to make her way over to the bathroom. She opened the door and walked into the steam filled room. She then proceeded to remove her clothes piece by piece. When she finally stepped out of underwear, she pulled the shower curtain aside and saw Jax standing underneath the scalding water, letting it wash over him. His back, displaying his full length reaper tattoo, was turned to her. His hands were splayed against the tile wall above his back. She stepped into the tub, right up behind him. She then wrapped her arms around his waist, placing feverish kisses against his back.
Jax sighed, turned around, and pulled Lena against his hard chest. His calloused fingers cupped underneath her jaw and settled his forehead against hers. Lena's heartbeat quickened and her stomach turned into knots for what she knew was to come next. It was always like this with Jax. No matter how many times he's kissed her. No matter how many times he's made love to her. It was always this heat explosion.
Lena could taste the cigarettes and whiskey on his tongue, as his mouth claimed hers for his own. The kiss was deep and passionate. It was almost a need, a burning hot need, to just feel each other. Before Lena could react, Jax had hoisted her up, and slammed her back against the cold tile wall. Her body shuddered at the impact, and her legs instantly wrapped themselves around his waist. She let out a breathy moan, as he nipped and sucked at any exposed skin from her lips to the top of her breasts.
He was hard and trapped between her sex and his stomach. She needed to feel him inside of her. Like she always needed. He was her drug. He was also her kryptonite.
"Jax," she breathlessly whispered, feeling him suck gently against her spot. The spot that he only knew.
"I gotchu, darlin'." He kissed her full lips once more, before reaching between them. "I gotchu."
He grabbed his cock, running it over her sex, covering it in her juices, before finally pushing his way inside of her. Lena cried out, feeling him filling her to the brim. He gave her no time to adjust, before he began to piston his hips upward in a rhythmic motion. Filling her up over and over again. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, enjoying the pleasurable pain he was giving her.
He continued his movements, groaning and grunting every time he'd hit that certain spot that sucked him in further and made her toes curl. He then pressed his fingers gently against her throat and laying his forehead against hers, as he pounded harder into her.
Lena let out another breathless moan, feeling as Jax's pelvis slammed hard against her clit over and over and over again. As she wrapped her legs tighter around his waist, she felt his thrusts becoming more and more erratic by the second. She knew that he was close, but so was she.
That coil that had been building in her belly had finally snapped like a stretched rubber band, and her body shuddered hard against his.
"Fuck, darlin'." Jax groaned, tightening his hands around her throat. "You feel so fuckin' good." He felt her body milking him, when he finally released his seed into her womb. He continued until his body was completely drained, and he kissed her hard once more.
The two of them stood there, still connected, trying to catch their breaths. They continued to let the water wash away their problems.
Even if it's only for tonight.