Synopsis: Lena Daniels has been in love with Jax Teller for half of her life. As she finally gains his heart, an old love comes back to Charming and threatens their future. Will Lena be able to handle Tara, and Jax's steady rise into the President's chair with SAMCRO?
Pairings: Jax Teller x Lena Daniels (OC), Jax Teller x Tara Knowles (past, mentioned), Jax Teller x Wendy Case (past)
Time Setting: Seasons 1-7
Warnings: fluff, angst, unprotected sex (wrap it, before you tap it, folks), pregnancy, insecurities, infidelity, canon SOA violence & gore, STRONG language, drug & alcohol use, rape, lots of taking the LORD's name in vain, mentions of racism, and character deaths
Author's Note: So, this is my first Sons of Anarchy story for those of you who are fans of the show. This fic is a Dark Fic. It is set during the timeline of the entire series, but I'm not going full canon. There will be things that are actually what happened in the show, but with my own twist, and things that are not show canon. The narrative is set to fit the story itself. If you are a Tara Knowles fan, be warned, as this story may not be for you. Also please HEED the warnings. They are there for those get triggered by certain topics. I will post another warning before each chapter to give a final warning.
I want to thank you all for your reviews, alerts, and follows. Y'all are freaking awesome!
Jax pulled his bike to a complete stop in the driveway of Tara Knowles' home. Sitting idle, he waited patiently for his ex-girlfriend to hop off the back.
"Thanks for the lift." Tara smiled softly, removing the helmet he gave her and handing it back to him.
Jax returned the smile, taking his helmet back. "It's no problem." When Tara had called him earlier asking for ride home, he just couldn't find a way to say no.
Tara Knowles was the love of Jax's life. She was the girl that he almost left everything for. If he hadn't been so devoted to his family and the club, he could have walked away. But he didn't, and when he begged her to stay, she still left.
Jax was heartbroken the day he found out that she had packed her things and left without a word. Now, 10 years later, here she was, and it had him questioning everything.
When Jax first found out that Tara was back, he ran through so many scenarios in his head of what exactly would happen when they would see each other for the first time. Most of them had to do with him being angry and lashing out at her for leaving. But none of which, according to how he pictured it, happened.
Not only was Jax affected by Tara's sudden reappearance, he knew it was weighing heavy on Lena too.
Lena was there when Jax needed someone the most. She put his broken pieces back together, and she loved him despite all of his flaws. She accepted that the club was apart of his life and never tried to change it or him. Lena was perfect in every sense, and if she ever left, he wasn't so sure that he'd be able to handle that.
But now with Tara back in town, it was getting harder for Jax to ignore the pull that his former love had over him.
"Where's the Cutlass?" Jax asked Tara, looking around for her father's old car that she had been driving since coming back.
"Oh, it's at the hospital." Tara sputtered, looking down at her feet uncomfortably.
"Still not running right?"
Tara shook her head, her attention now taken to her surroundings. She had an eerie feeling creepy up her spine. She knew that he was around. She could feel it in her bones. "It's running okay."
Jax immediately sensed that something was up with ex, due to her strange, nervous behavior. "This worry, I'm getting here...that have anything to do with that car that's been following us?"
At that mention, Tara immediately panicked and raced toward her front door, desperately trying to unlock it.
"Tara!" Jax called out, shutting off the engine, and quickly hopping off. He followed Tara right up to her front door, grabbing her elbow and gently turning toward him. "What the hell's going on?"
Tara sighed heavily, shutting her eyes. She was trying to collect her bearings, before deciding to come clean to Jax. "That ATF agent that's been looking into you guys? I think he's here for me."
Jax's brows furrowed in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Tara released a shuddering breath. "I was with him in Chicago." She confessed. "It got violent. I tried to end it. He started stalking me. He came by the hospital last week, and he talked to Lena."
Now Jax was angry. "He talked to Lena?"
Tara nodded, absentmindedly playing her keys. "I don't know what he said to her, but she was really spooked when she tried to confront me about — Jax! Don't!" Tara called out after Jax, as he was already down her driveway. "He's dangerous." She warned.
"Go back inside, Tara." Jax demanded, as he continued angrily down her driveway. "Lock the door."
Jax then pulled his knife from the leather holder on his hip, marching right up to the gold vehicle that had been parked curbside. He then forcibly stabbed the grill, immediately puncturing the radiator. The car hissed loudly and smoke began to billow from the hood.
Federal Agent Josh Kohn hastily hopped out of the car, anger pulsing through his veins. "Vandalism. Deadly weapon. That's six months in county, asshole."
"Violating a restraining order." Jax spat back, standing in front of Kohn intimidatingly. "You'll be in the cell next to me. They teach you how to suck dick in ATF school?"
"Badass biker." Kohn scoffed in sarcasm.
Jax shook his head dismissively. "You guys gave it your best shot—you got nothing on SAMCRO. And you harassing Tara, ends here. Also, come near my Old Lady, again, and next time it won't be a piece of shit car I'm draining fluid from."
Kohn ripped his aviators from his face in disbelief. "You threatening a federal agent?"
Jax stepped closer to Kohn, shoving a finger in his face. "I'm threatening you." He then turned on his heels and walked back to Tara's, but not before telling Kohn, "go away. It's my last warning."
"'Real isn't how you are made, said the Skin Horse'." Lena read aloud, rocking back and forth in her chair. "'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real"."
Lena smiled to herself, closing the book in her hands. She then brushed a gentle hand across the front cover, as she felt the warmth course through her veins.
The Velveteen Rabbit, it read.
When Lena was a little girl, her father read this book to her every single night before going to bed. It was her favorite book. She thought it was lost forever when she and her mother moved to Charming after her dad had passed. That was until she was randomly in her basement digging through some old baby boxes, in hopes of finding something for Abel, when she found the book stuck inside an old music box belonging to her mother.
The book's cover was wrinkled and partially faded from years of wear and tear, but all of the pages were intact. So, Lena thought she'd bring the book to the hospital to read to Abel, as Gemma and Jax had already been doing. She'd hoped that the book would make him feel the same as it made her feel when she was little.
"Well, buddy," Lena leaned forward in the rocking chair, placing a hand on Abel's incubator, "that's it for today. Your crazy grandma needs me to help finish up your room at your daddy's house. So, we're gonna have to continue this another day."
Lena couldn't believe that this was the same baby as a few weeks ago. Abel was getting stronger and healthier by the day.
Lena then went to stuff the book back in her bag, standing to her feet. A slight wave of dizziness hit, but it was gone the second after it hit, so she just ignored it. She pulled her purse on her shoulder and stopped by Abel's incubator one last time. "Don't tell grandma I called her crazy, yeah? Let's just keep this between you and me." She smiled as she watched his tiny chest rise and fall with every breath, taking that as his promise.
Lena waved goodbye to the nurses, who she had gotten to know over the past couple of weeks, since coming to visit Abel nearly everyday. As she made her way out of St. Thomas, she walked up to her car; her mother's '97 convertible mustang.
Hopping into the car, Lena checked her phone for missing calls, hoping to have one from Jax, since she hadn't heard from him all morning. And of course, like the past month or so, there wasn't anything.
But Lena did have a missed call from Gemma.
"Jesus Christ, Gemma. I'm coming." Lena seethed, not bothering to call Gemma back. She just casually tossed her phone onto the passenger seat and went to start the car.
Slipping the key in the ignition, Lena went to turn it over. The car sputtered and shook, as if it was going to turn on, like it usually did, but it did not.
"Fuckin' great." Lena cursed in frustration. It was just two months ago that Jax had fixed the alternator in this piece of junk car. What more did it want?
Lena sighed heavily, trying one more time. The car turned over, and she pressed her boot clad foot down on the brake.
"C'mon. C'mon." She repeated, in a mantra, to herself, in hopes that by some miracle that the car will start.
And her prayers were answered when the car finally started.
"Yes." Lena hissed in triumph, as she placed her car in reverse and backed out of the hospital parking lot.
It took Lena no time to arrive at Jax's house, but she was surprised and very much confused to find his bike parked in the driveway. She then parked her car right behind Gemma's truck and hopped out. As she made her way into the house, since the door was weirdly unlocked, she heard the sound of Jax's voice coming from the nursery. He sounded angry and irritated.
"...and how's this her fault?" Jax spat to his mother, when Lena walked through the door.
"What's going on?" Lena eyed both Jax and Gemma, before looking around the room that was completely destroyed. "Jesus, what the hell happened here?" Even the carpet felt squishy underneath her feet.
"Hey," Jax immediately panicked, walking over to Lena. He immediately gripped her hips, trying to subtly push her out of the room, before she saw the true damage hanging on the wall. "Why don't you—"
It was too late.
Lena's vision was directed to the wall in front of her, and her heart quickly fell into the pit of her stomach at what she saw.
Taped on the wall were a cluster of photos, including one of Jax and Opie when they were kids. Their faces had been scratched out. But that wasn't the photo that caused Lena's heart to stop.
The photo, dead center in the chaotic mess, was a very intimate photo of her and Jax from the other night at her house.
Where the hell did this come?
"Oh my God." Lena whispered, covering her mouth with a shaky hand, feeling sick to her stomach. She fought against Jax's hold, not believing what her eyes were seeing. "Where—" she choked, pointing at the photo, turning back to face Jax. "Where did that come from?"
Jax sighed heavily, now reaching up to cup her face. "C'mon. We need to get you out of here. This stress isn't good for you."
Lena was still in shock, not taking her eyes off of the photo, as Jax walked her out of the nursery and into the living room. Jax then helped her sit down on the couch.
"Jax," Lena whispered, two tears slipping down her cheeks, "how? Why?"
Jax crouched in front of Lena, using his thumb to wipe away her tears. "It was Kohn."
Lena eyed Jax in confusion. "That ATF agent?"
Jax nodded. "He's been stalking Tara."
Lena kind of figured that, but, "why would he—"
Jax cut her off, cupping her face again, "hey, this has got nothing to do with you, okay?"
Lena looked down at the floor, thinking back to her own encounter with the federal agent. This might have a little to do with her.
"It might, Jax." Lena turned to look at him. She thought that letting what happened with Kohn go and not telling Jax was the right thing. But now she was thinking that she was wrong, and Jax needed to know the truth. "The night that I told you I was pregnant, earlier that day I found him lurking outside of Abel's room at the hospital."
Jax was quiet for a second, before saying, "Tara told me that he creeped you out. What did he do, Lee?"
Lena tried not to roll her eyes in her annoyance. Of course Tara told Jax that she had a run in with Kohn. "I asked him what he was doing outside of Abel's room. He told me he was a friend of Tara's and a federal agent. He then wanted me to answer some questions about you. I told him no and," she swallowed thickly, "and he...grabbed me. It wasn't even the grabbing that got to me, it was more so the look in his eyes that made me uneasy."
Jax's nostrils flared, anger filling his lungs with every harsh breath he took. He was gonna kill Kohn. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Lena shrugged. "I knew how you'd react, Jax. Since he was investigating SAMCRO, I didn't want to make it worse for you guys."
Jax huffed, quickly standing to his feet. The anger was still vibrating off of him. "He's dead." He muttered, heading toward the front door.
"Where are you going?" Lena called, following right behind Jax.
Jax stopped and turned around to face Lena. "You stay here." He demanded. "Don't go anywhere. The clubhouse. Your house. I don't even want you going to the gas station to get a goddamn candy bar. You're staying here."
"Don't worry, I got her, Jackson." Gemma appeared behind Lena, with a hand on her son's girlfriend's shoulder.
Jax looked at his mom, nodding in understanding. He then reached forward and grabbed Lena's face, planting a hard kiss on her lips, before disappearing out the door.
"C'mon, sweetie." Gemma, still holding onto Lena's shoulder, walked her back to the couch, where both ladies take a seat. Gemma then reached over and grabbed Lena's hands and brought them into her lap. "Pregnant?"
Lena looked up into Gemma's sparkling eyes, wincing at the face that she left that little bit of information slip. "Shit, Gem. I'm sorry. That wasn't exactly the way I wanted to tell you."
Gemma waved her off dismissively. "Doesn't matter."
Lena's brows furrowed in confusion. "You sure? I know it's not the ideal situation with Abel being born premature and Jax and I have only been together for a few months-"
Gemma raised a hand to stop Lena's rambling. "I know, sweetheart. But Jax cares for you so much, and I know for a fact that this baby will be loved unconditionally. Now c'mere." She then reached out, pulling Lena into a motherly bear hug.
This was the Gemma that Lena loved. Yes, the woman was brash, chaotic, and sometimes down right rude, but Gemm loved her family with everything she had. And Lena really admired that.
"You want me to make you some tea, darlin'?" When they pulled apart, Gemma asked pushing a few strands of hair out of Lena's face.
Lena just nodded, watching as Gemma stood to her feet to head toward the kitchen.
A few hours later Gemma sat at the kitchen table of her son's home. While Jax was still gone and Lena was resting, she had scrubbed the entire house from top to bottom. She had gotten rid of any evidence that Kohn was ever in the house, burning all of those photos, including the very intimate photo of her son and his now pregnant girlfriend.
Gemma was currently nursing a cigarette in one hand, while sipping on a now barely lukewarm cup of muddy, black coffee. It was then when heard the sound of the front door open, followed by Jax limping his way into the kitchen.
"Jesus Christ, Jax," Gemma winced, stubbing out her cigarette in the ashtray, before standing to her feet. "What the hell happened?"
Jax quickly declined his mother's help, dropped his body into the seat opposite of hers. He then reached into his jean pockets, pulling out his own pack of cigarettes.
Gemma then sat back down, eyeing her son up down, cautiously. "You're gonna tell me what happened?"
Jax took a long drag of his now lit cigarette, letting the sweet taste of nicotine course through his system, and then releasing the smoke in erotic circles. "Kohn is out of our hair. He won't be bothering us anymore."
"So, he's gone?" Gemma questioned, trying to get better clarification.
"He left town." Jax stated clearly, blowing another cloud of smoke out. "I made sure of that."
"And that?" Gemma nodded toward his injured leg.
"A scratch." Jax retorted with a sarcastic smirk on his face.
"Asshole." Gemma shook her head at her menacing son, reaching for another cigarette from Jax's box on that was sitting on the table.
Jax stubbed his cigarette out in the tray, with a sly grin on his face. He then eyed his surroundings, not hearing a peep coming from anywhere. "Where's Lee?"
"Sleeping." Gemma stated, taking a drag of her cigarette and leaned back in her chair. "As women normally do in her condition." She told him cheekily. "Pregnant, Jax? Really?"
Jax sighed heavily, leaning forward on the table. "Isn't this what you wanted? Grandkids?"
"Don't get smart with me." Gemma blew out a cloud of smoke. "Could you have at least waited until Abel was out of the hospital, before you went and knocked up your girlfriend? Jesus."
Jax shrugged nonchalantly. "Shit happens. It's my kid, and they are both now my responsibility. I'm gonna do whatever I can to take care of them."
"Well, you better." Gemma bit, now stubbing out this cigarette.
Then Jax's cell phone interrupted their chat. He immediately reached into his front jean pocket and pulled out the phone. He flipped it open, and his brows furrowed when he saw the name on the screen.
"Hey," he answered, "wait, wait, Tara, Tara, slow down. What's going on? A'ight, I'll be there as soon as I can." He quickly snapped the phone shut, before standing to his feet.
"Tara?" Gemma questioned in confusion, but mostly irritation. She knew that the good doctor was up to no good. "What the hell does that girl want?"
Jax shoved the phone back into his pocket, re-situating his kutte. "She sounded panicked, and needs me to come over."
Gemma rolled her forest green eyes in annoyance. "Just be careful, Jackson. I know what Tara does to you, and I don't want you doing something you might regret. You got a beautiful, pregnant Old Lady. Don't fuck this up, son."
"I know what I'm doing." Jax told his mother, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. "Stay with Lena."
Gemma nodded, watching as Jax disappeared from her sight. She then picked up her cup of coffee, taking a sip, replaying Jax's last words in her head.
"I know what I'm doing."
"Yeah right." Gemma muttered to herself, taking another sip.
It was just a little later, and Jax still hadn't come home from his Tara emergency. Gemma called Clay to let him know that she was more than likely staying at Jax's house for the night, telling him not to worry about her whereabouts. She then set herself up to sleep on the couch.
As Gemma went to removed her heeled boots, Lena appeared from Jax's bedroom.
"Hey, what are you doing up?" Gemma asked looking over her shoulder, when she heard Lena muttered her name. She then noticed that Lena wasn't looking too well and was walking a tad bit abnormal.
Gemma was immediately on her, making her way over to Lena.
"I don't feel so good, Gem." Lena limped toward her boyfriend's mother. Her usually golden brown skin, looked gray and dull. Her eyes were also blotchy and red, as if she had been crying nonstop.
The color from Gemma's face drained, as she noticed the dark red stain gathering on the seat of Lena's grey pajama pants.
"Shit." Gemma hissed, barely catching Lena, as the young woman collapsed in her arms. "It's okay, sweetheart." She pulled Lena closer to her, with a reassuring back rub. "I'm gonna get you to St. Thomas. Everything is gonna be okay."
Jax rushed through the doors of St. Thomas emergency room, as fast as his still injured leg could take him, and immediately spotted Gemma. He noticed that she was receiving much needed comfort from Clay, who had arrived about a half an hour before he did.
When Gemma saw Jax approaching, she stood to her feet and met him halfway.
"What happened?" Jax nervously asked his mother. He had been in the middle of dealing with Tara's situation, before he finally listened to the 50th message that Gemma had left him on both of his burners. She had told him that there was some complications and that she was taking Lena to St. Thomas.
Gemma shook her head, reaching out to give Jax's arms a comforting squeeze. "I don't know, son."
Jax hesitated, terrified of hearing the answer to his next question. "How's the baby?"
Gemma's face fell, and Jax immediately knew. "I'm so sorry, Jackson. She lost the baby."