Synopsis: Lena Daniels has been in love with Jax Teller for half of her life. As she finally gains his heart, an old love comes back to Charming and threatens their future. Will Lena be able to handle Tara, and Jax's steady rise into the President's chair with SAMCRO?
Pairings: Jax Teller x Lena Daniels (OC), Jax Teller x Tara Knowles (past, mentioned), Jax Teller x Wendy Case (past)
Time Setting: Seasons 1-7
Warnings: DARK FIC fluff, angst, unprotected sex (wrap it, before you tap it, folks), pregnancy, miscarriage, insecurities, infidelity, canon SOA violence & gore, STRONG language, drug & alcohol use, lots of taking the LORD's name in vain, mentions of racism, mentions of rape, and character deaths
Author's Note: So, this is my first Sons of Anarchy story for those of you who are fans of the show. This fic is a Dark Fic. It is set during the timeline of the entire series, but I'm not going full canon. There will be things that are actually what happened in the show, but with my own twist, and things that are not show canon. The narrative is set to fit the story itself. If you are a Tara Knowles fan, be warned, as this story may not be for you. Also please HEED the warnings. They are there for those get triggered by certain topics. I will post another warning before each chapter to give a final warning. Please if you want to be tagged just in time for first chapter, please hit up my ask. I will gladly tag you all.
Hey everyone! I want to thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart for all the awesome reviews, alerts, and bookmarks. Y'all are what keeps me motivated. Truly.
Chapter 7:
Jax smiled down at the little boy squirming around in his arms. This was the first day since Abel was born that he could finally be held. That precious baby boy had been through quite a lot in his first few weeks into this world.
Jax never thought he could have so much love in his heart for one person, and then he looked into Abel's eyes, that mirrored his own. To be honest, he was always scared to become a father. When he and Wendy separated, and she told him that she was pregnant, he thought his entire world was crashing around him. But the thought of abandoning his responsibility to his unborn child never crossed his mind. He did everything he could to make sure that he would bring his son safely into this world. Well, except for stopping his ex's insatiable drug habit.
Jax then immediately thought of the baby that he and Lena just lost. He hadn't known Lena was pregnant for too long, but when she finally did tell him, his reaction was a little different. He was happy and excited that the woman that he'd loved for so long was going to make him a father again. Although, the baby was now gone, Jax couldn't help but think of how the kid would look. Would he have Lena's eyes or his? Would he be a carbon copy of his older brother?
Despite what Lena believed, Jax was devastated by the loss. Because for the longest time, he had always pictured Lena being the mother of his kids. But, of course, things just never worked out the way he wanted, and now Lena was pushing him away.
Jax couldn't really blame her though. His actions had been so shitty toward her. The club secrets. The omitted lies. He had only confessed to his Old Lady where he was the night she'd lost their baby, but he hadn't told her what he had done that night. He knew that if he did tell her, he was definitely going to lose her. And he wasn't sure how he was going to handle that.
"I'm so screwed, buddy." Jax confessed to his infant son, patting his tiny, scarred belly.
Abel just gurgled and stretched in response. The baby's tiny fist attached itself to the SAMCRO Reaper patched beanie on his head and yanked it slightly out of place.
Jax, again smiled softly, fixing the hat on his son's head. He then turned to the door to see his mother making her way in.
"Hey," Gemma whispered in excitement at seeing her grandson finally out of his confining box.
"Hey, mom," Jax continued to smile, rocking slowly back and forth in the rocking chair he was sitting on.
Gemma looked down lovingly at the little boy nestled in her son's arms. "How's he doing?"
Jax looked back down at Abel as well, the pride in his chest growing with every passing second. "He's good. He's really good. You want to hold him?"
"Yes." Gemma didn't hesitate in her answer.
Jax chuckled at his mother's enthusiasm, standing to his feet. He carefully handed the baby over to his mother, making sure she cradled Abel's head. Gemma then took a seat where Jax had just been sitting.
"So, how's Lena doing?" Gemma questioned, cooing down at the baby boy in her arms.
Jax shook his head. "Not good, ma. She was here earlier, but something seemed off about her. Then Tara accused her of drinking."
And that name caused Gemma to roll her bright emerald eyes. "Tara." She spat, as if that name tasted bitter on her tongue.
"Mom," Jax groaned, knowing exactly what was about to be said, "don't start, please." He was sick and tired of having the same conversation with his mom about Tara. It was like they were going around in circles.
Jax knew for a fact that Gemma didn't like Tara. He knew that she never cared for his ex at all. If she wasn't so worried with grief over his broken heart, Jax also knew that his mother had been over the moon when Tara finally left.
"I ain't startin' nothin', Jackson." Gemma defended, now rocking back and forth in the chair. "But you're wondering why your Old Lady seems a little off. I mean, she just lost your baby, and you keep hanging around the good doctor," even that sounded bitter coming off her tongue, "of course something's off with her."
Jax sighed heavily, running a hand across his face in frustration. He knew that Gemma was right. "What am I supposed to do?"
"Well, first off," Gemma began, "stop being Tara's goddamn savior. Second, do not let that junkie ex-wife of yours think that just because she's clean now, that you, her, and this precious baby will be a family. And third, go find your Old Lady, bring her here, so together, you can take your son home."
"It ain't that easy, ma."
Gemma searched her son's face, immediately knowing that he was in deeper shit than he was letting on. "Shit." She hissed. "You fucked that bitch, didn't you?"
Instead of answering the accusation his mother just threw his way, Jax turned away from her glare. That to Gemma, was the only answer she needed.
"Jesus Christ, Jackson." Gemma exclaimed in disappointment. She wasn't surprised by this shit anymore. When it came to women, her son was the biggest slut she knew. "How hard is it to keep your shit in your goddamn pants?"
Jax didn't answer that either. Again, he knew his mother was right. He made a big mistake that night with Tara, and now he was living with the guilt of it. While his Old Lady was suffering, he was too busy handling Tara's stalker ex, while the both of them fucked next to the federal agent's dead body.
Jax was so fucking screwed.
"So," Gemma cleared her throat, breaking Jax of his thoughts, "what are you gonna do about Lena now?"
Jax shrugged, shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. "If I tell Lena the truth, she leaves. And if I don't tell her the truth, it will somehow get back to her, she still leaves."
"I say wait." Gemma said, after a few moments of silence. "Jackson, Lena's in a vulnerable state right now. Give her some time."
Jax went to speak, but was cut off by the sound of his ringing cell phone. He then pulled out the device, surprised by the name flashing across the small display screen.
"Hale," Jax answered.
"Hey, Jax," the sound of chief deputy's voice was heard on the other side, "I'm not sure if you know this, but Stahl just brought Lena in for questioning."
"Shit." Jax hissed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "A'ight, I'm on my way." He finished, snapped his phone shut and shoved it back into his pocket.
"Everything alright?" Gemma questioned, noticing the immediate concern on her son's face.
Jax released a frustrated breath. "That bitch, Stahl, brought Lena into the station for questioning. She must think that she could get something out of her."
"Lena won't rat." Gemma said, very sure of herself. "That girl may be a lot of things, but a rat ain't one of 'em."
"I know, but Lena's a little emotionally unstable right now, and Stahl likes to push all the wrong buttons. I need to get down there, before something happens." Jax made his way over to his mother, kissing her cheek, and placing a gentle hand on the top of Abel's head. He then waved them goodbye and left.
When Lena was brought into the Sheriff's office, a place she knew very well, she found herself sitting in one of the interrogation rooms. The Feds had been using CPD place as their headquarters, for their pointless investigation, ever since they arrived in town.
Agent Stahl had left Lena alone for what felt like an eternity, but was probably only a few hours, and Lena was beginning to feel antsy. The walls around her were sterile white, except for the dark glass window in front of her, that she knew was their infamous two way mirror. She couldn't see whoever was on the other side, but she knew that they could see her. Also, in front of her, an old school camcorder was set on a tripod.
Lena sighed heavily, starting to pick at the table she was sitting at, a nervous habit she's had since moving Charming. A few moments later Agent Stahl finally made her grand entrance. The federal agent walked in the room, carrying a cup of coffee, while a manila folder sat underneath her arm.
Lena was also surprised to see Deputy Hale, trailing right behind Stahl.
"So, we had time to stop for a coffee break? How convenient." Lena spat sarcastically, as Stahl sat her stuff down on the table. Except for that manila folder. Whatever was in there definitely had piqued Lena's interest.
Stahl ignored the comment, pursing her lips together. "Deputy Hale is here to monitor this interrogation." She pointed to Hale, who was standing in the corner.
Lena looked over at the handsome deputy, as he gave her a nod, then looked back over at the menacing agent. "Alright, ask me your first question."
Stahl eyed Lena a bit warily, before asking, "what do you know about the Sons Of Anarchy?"
"They ride motorcycles." Lena quickly spat, giving Stahl a cheeky grin. "Next question."
Stahl paused, giving a sarcastic chuckle. "So, this is how you're going to cooperate with the FBI?"
"You asked me a question, and I answered it." Lena stated firmly, her voice dripping with annoyance. "What part of that is not cooperating?"
"Okay," Stahl nodded, as she began to stalk around the table, "how do you think the Sons make their money?"
Lena just giggled at Stahl's next question. No wonder the feds never found anything on SAMCRO. This bitch was shit at her job. "You see have this thing -I don't know if you've heard about it- it's called a garage. You know that place where they fix cars."
Stahl sighed in frustration. She knew that the Vice President of SAMCRO's Old Lady wasn't going to cooperate like she should have. So, that's why she had the big guns. "Alright, so you want to play it like this?" She then took a seat, directly in front of Lena. She finally pulled the folder from underneath her arm and slapping it on the table. "So, how close do you think Jax Teller and his doctor ex-girlfriend are getting? Word around town is that they've been seen together a lot lately."
Lena's demeanor suddenly shifted the moment Stahl brought up Jax and Tara. "What does this have to do with SAMCRO?" She barely choked out.
Stahl sat back in her seat, folding her arms across her chest. "Nothing. Just trying to make casual conversation."
"Agent Stahl," Deputy Hale stepped out of his corner.
Stahl quickly shoved a hand up, stopping him, but she didn't take her beady eyes off of Lena. She was pleased to see that she was possibly getting her way. "Now, do me a favor, please. Could you, uh, open that file for me?" She nodded in Lena's direction.
Lena swallowed nervously, throwing a glance Hale's way. The Deputy Chief looked at her apologetically, like he didn't know what Stahl was up to. She then turned to look back at the folder and slowly reached over the table. Her heart racing a hundred miles a minute, as she pulled the folder closer to her. She hesitated for a second, before finally flipping it open. Her heart fell into the pit of her stomach, at what she was looking at.
Lena was looking down at a surveillance photo of Jax and Tara, hugging intimately in the hallway of the hospital. But it was no ordinary hug. Jax's hands were cupped underneath Tara's jaw and his forehead was pressed against hers. Tara was clinging onto his kutte as if her life depended on it.
"Yikes," Stahl hissed in a sarcastic manner, a smirk on her ugly features, "that's a little, uh, hard to swallow right?" Lena just looked up at her, with tears in her eyes. "This picture," she leaned over tapping on the photo with her index finger, "was taken the day after you were released from the hospital; sorry for your loss by the way."
By the look in Agent Stahl's eyes, Lena knew this bitch wasn't sorry.
"Now," Agent Stahl began again, "the question is, how could you still protect a man that's supposed to be devoted to you, when he can't even wait a full 48 hours after you lost his baby, and he's already back in his ex-girlfriend's arms?" She sat back and waited for everything to fall into place.
Lena sat there, letting Stahl's question sink in. She knew what the woman was doing. She knew what this woman wanted from her. And she was willing to stop at nothing to get it. Lena was not going to have it. No matter how much this piece of shit surveillance photo showed.
Lena was not and will never be a fucking rat.
Lena then picked up the photo, staring at it for a few moments. Her stomach turned in knots at the image of her Old Man and his ex. She released a shuddering breath and ripped the photo straight down the middle. She then ripped those two pieces into four. By the time she was finished, she held onto a handful of pieces of the photo, like confetti, before she stood up and threw it all into Agent Stahl's face.
"Go. To. Hell." Lena angrily spat, plopping back down in her seat. "Now that you've tried and failed to manipulate me into giving you what you want, I think it's time for me to get the fuck out of here."
"Yeah, I think that's a good idea." Deputy Hale stated, stepping over to Lena, and helping her out of her seat. He then walked her toward the door, only to be stopped by Stahl.
"Deputy, you do realize that you're interfering with a federal case?" Stahl stood in front of the both of them, blocking their pathway out.
Hale released a deep breath. "You asked me to sit in on this interrogation. You made me a promise that if you did anything I didn't like, I could stop it. I'm stopping it, June. Now move."
Agent Stahl pursed her lips, looking back and forth between Lena and Hale. She rolled her eyes, kicking herself for agreeing to that promise, and finally moving out of the way.
"I'm sorry about that." Hale told Lena, as the two of them walked through the police station, after retrieving Lena's things. However, that bottle of alcohol was conveniently missing. "I didn't know she was going to do that."
Lena was just happy to finally be out of that room. "It's not your fault, David." She stopped and turned to look at him. "It's my fault for falling for a man like Jax Teller."
Chief Deputy David Hale was born and raised in Charming. He was just a few years older than Lena. When Lena and her mother had moved back to Charming, Hale was just graduating high school and heading into the police academy. By the time he joined the Charming Police Department, and before he became second in command under Chief Wayne Unser, Lena was already head over heels in love with Jax Teller; his rival. But Hale had been head over heels in love with Lena.
Lena knew this, and although Hale would have been the most practical choice, she just didn't feel the same way. Hale, the good guy he was trying to be, respected Lena's wishes, even though it was hard for him to watch Jax basically walk all over her.
"Speaking of Teller," Hale began, looking down into Lena's eyes, "I called him."
"You what?" Lena groaned in frustration. "Why would you do that?"
Hale shrugged in a nonchalant manner. "I just think he needed to know."
"Since when are you on SAMCRO's side?" Lena questioned, her brows furrowed in confusion.
"I'm not." Hale stated firmly. "I'm on your side." His eyes softened at that confession.
"David," Lena exasperated, feeling a bit guilty that she knew she could never return the young Deputy's feelings.
Hale nodded, looking down at his feet. "I know." Again, he released a breath, reaching out to gently grab her elbow. "C'mon, let's get you out of here."
Both Lena and Hale made their way out of the station, just as Jax was pulling up on his bike. Lena rolled her dark eyes, annoyed that Hale had really called him. They cautiously approached the biker, as he parked his bike and pulled off his helmet.
Lena could already see his blue eyes staring in anger at the way the Hale was still holding onto her elbow. A small part of her got a bit of satisfaction out of that.
Jax hopped off his bike and met them halfway. "Hey, you okay?" He looked down at Lena.
Lena was trying to avoid looking his way. That photo was still very fresh in her mind. "Yeah, I'm fine. What are you doing here?"
"Hale called me."
Lena then found the courage to look Jax in the eyes. "I know that, Jax, but why are you here?"
Jax looked at her confused. "I'm here for you."
"You're here for me?" Lena questioned, giving a sarcastic chuckle. "Where's Tara?"
Jax took a step back, shaking his head. "Don't do this." He then looked at Hale, who was still standing there. "Not here. Let me take you home, and we can talk. I promise you."
Lena was going to give in. She was going to hop on the back of Jax's bike, and let him take her home. But then that image of Jax and Tara at the hospital stopped her. "No. I told you to leave me alone. I just need to not be around you right now."
Jax's heart broke a little at that. "Lena…"
Lena just ignored his plea and turned to Hale. "Hey, can you take me back to St. Thomas, so I can get my car?"
Hale looked back and forth between Lena and Jax, contemplating on what to do. He could see the anger radiating off of Jax, and he knew that he didn't want to come in between them. But he also knew he could never say no to Lena.
"Yeah, sure." Hale nodded, escorting her over to his jeep, where he helped her in.
As Hale started the vehicle, Lena spared a glance over at Jax, who was still standing there. His face was hard, and she knew that he was pissed that she chose to go with Hale instead of him. She just tried to ignore that pull, in her stomach, that she felt for him, as Hale pulled out of the police station.
Lena finally pulled up to her house, sighing as she saw Jax's bike parked in her driveway. He was being persistent as usual. When she hopped out, she saw that Hale had pulled up on the curb right behind her. When Hale had brought her back to the hospital, he offered to take her to get a bite to eat. And when she turned him down, he then insisted on giving her a police escort home.
Again, Lena tried to dissuade him, but he was also being persistent.
Lena made her way to where Hale was parked curbside. "Thank you for the escort, David, although I told you I didn't need it."
Hale shrugged. "I insisted." He then looked over at the bike parked in the driveway. He knew who it belonged to. "Is that Jax's bike?" He questioned, and Lena nodded, looking back in that direction. "You need me to come in with you just in case?"
Lena shook her head, reaching out to give Hale's arm a gentle squeeze. "It's okay. Jax would never hurt me physically. Emotionally? That's a completely different story." She tried to smile at her own attempt at a joke. Hale gave her a warm smile back. "Thanks again for the escort." She told him, before making her way up to her front door.
When Lena had unlocked the front door to her house, a place she hadn't been staying at in the past few days, she heard the sound of Hale's jeep driving off. The moment she stepped into her living room, she was not surprised to find Jax sitting on her couch, waiting for her.
"I guess you're not understanding the concept of me wanting to be alone." Lena spat, setting her purse and keys down on a side table.
Jax was quiet as he stared at her for a few moments. Lena knew that Jax was still pissed about the whole Hale situation, but at this point, she really didn't care. She didn't have the strength to care.
Lena sighed heavily, trying to make her way into her kitchen to look for a drink, since she knew Stahl had tossed hers, when Jax finally spoke.
"I fucked up." He muttered softly.
Lena stopped in her tracks, turning to look at him. Jax then stood from his seat and marched his way over to her. He immediately grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her hard.
"I fucked up." Jax murmured against her lips. "I'm so sorry." He kissed her again. "I fucked up."
Lena knew that she should have stopped him and pulled away, but she didn't fight it. She also didn't fight it when he took her upstairs to her bedroom and made love to her.