A week or so had passed since Donna's funeral, and Jax had stayed true to his word. He respected Lena's decision to end their relationship.
Lena was full on expecting for Jax to be following her every move and showing up placing that she would be. Or even having that prospect, Half-Sack, trailing her. But nope, Jax gave Lena the space she needed. She didn't know whether to be disappointed or relieved.
That space also meant leaving her bartending work at the clubhouse. Lena knew that in order for her and Jax to have a clean break, she needed to distance herself from anything or anyone involved with her now ex and SAMCRO.
So, when she found herself standing outside of Gemma's office at Teller-Morrow, Lena was nervous as hell.
Lena told Jax's mother the day of Donna's funeral what she was planning to do with her relationship with Jax. Lena wasn't surprised that Jax had unofficially confessed to Gemma about his indiscretion with Tara, since Jax could never really lie to his mother.
Of course Gemma begged Lena not to break up with Jax and tried to convince her that Tara was nothing, but Lena had already made up her mind.
After several hesitant seconds, Lena finally made her way inside Gemma's office. She immediately found the Queen of SAMCRO sitting behind her desk, glasses perched on the bridge of her nose, as she read over some paperwork.
The moment Lena walked through the door, Gemma looked up.
"Hey, baby," Gemma smiled, quickly removing her glasses, setting them down on her desk, and standing to her feet.
"Hey, Gem," Lena said, shutting the door behind herself.
"What brings you by?" Gemma questioned swiping her blonde streaked bangs from her face.
Lena swallowed nervously. "I'm just here to get my last check."
Gemma's face immediately fell, and she sighed heavily. Jax's mother was somehow hoping that Lena's presence meant that the girl was coming back, but sadly that wasn't going to happen. Gemma then looked under her mess of paperwork to find the check she had prepared for Lena earlier that day and then walked it over to her son's ex.
When Lena took the check from Gemma's reluctant hands, she looked up into her ex's mother's bright green eyes. Lena could see the hurt and sadness written in them.
"And there's nothing I can do to convince you to stay?" Gemma solemnly asked, placing her hands on her hips.
Now it was Lena's turn to sigh heavily. Gemma had been trying everything to get Lena to reconsider. "Gem,"
Gemma quickly cut her off, "I mean you're the best I got. You're the only one who actually does any goddamn work around here. And whether you believe it or not, Jackson needs you."
That was a punch to Lena's gut. "I wish things were different, Gemma, I do, but they're not, so,"
"Jesus," Gemma seethed in quiet anger, "I could kick Jax's ass for what he did to you." She then looked down at Lena with sympathy in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."
Lena shrugged in a nonchalant manner. "It's not your fault, Gem. It's just that with me and Jax, timing always seemed to be wrong."
"C'mere." Gemma pulled Lena into a hug. "I'm still here if you need anything."
Lena wanted to tell Gemma that she really didn't need or want anything from her or SAMCRO, but she didn't. She just told her, "thank you" and hugged her back.
When Gemma pulled back from Lena, she kept her arm around Lena's shoulder. "C'mon, I'll walk you out."
Lena nodded and allowed Gemma to lead her out of the office. The moment the two of them head toward Lena's Mustang, Lena stopped dead in her tracks. Her heart fell into the pit of her stomach at the sight of that ugly ass Cutlass parked just a few cars down from hers.
"What the hell is she doing here?" Lena questioned bitterly.
"Jesus Christ," Gemma muttered, releasing her arm from Lena. "I guess the good doctor is a persistent little gash."
"What do you mean?" Lena furrowed her brows toward Gemma.
"Well, since you and Jax split, she's been hounding my son for attention." Gemma admitted, watching Lena's eyes turn back to look at Tara's car. "I swear she's needier than the goddamn croweaters."
"Then why don't you just tell her to stop coming by?" Lena kept her eye on the black car, all sorts of petty ideas running through her head.
"Jax said he'd handle it." Even when Gemma said those words, Lena knew that she didn't believe them.
"I bet he'll handle it alright." Lena muttered to herself, feeling the anger pulsing through her veins. But then she realized that there was no point in getting upset. She and Jax were done. "You know what? Jax can do whatever the hell he wants now. It's not my problem anymore."
"But I know what would make you feel better." Gemma whispered in Lena's ear, before presenting her with an all black knife that Lena knew that Gemma always kept hidden in her boot.
Lena swallowed thickly, contemplating on what she was going to do. She knew what Gemma wanted to her to do, because hell, she wanted to do it herself. But Lena didn't know if she really wanted to stoop that low.
It was all about taking the higher ground, right?
But all Lena kept picturing was her ex and his ex fucking, in her head, and it was enough for her to quickly snatch the knife from Gemma's hand.
Lena then stomped her boot clad feet over to Tara's car, and without thinking, she forcibly stabbed the wall of the back passenger tire. The sound of the punctured tire losing air was like music to Lena's ears, so she didn't stop. By the time she was finished, all four tires had been popped, and WHORE was deeply carved into the driver's side door.
Lena then casually made her way back over to Gemma, setting the knife back into her ex's mom's hand, while Gemma looked at her with pride.
"Thanks, Gem. That made me feel a lot better." Lena smiled, traipsing to her car.
Jax sighed heavily, puffing annoyingly on a cigarette, as he worked on replacing the back tire on Tara's Cutlass. When he finally convinced his former girlfriend to leave the clubhouse, because her simple presence was seriously irritating him, Tara came back to him freaked out when she saw the damage done to her car.
Jax offered to fix what he could and sent her off in a cab. Once he'd finished the car, he'd definitely have Half-Sack, the Prospect, to bring Tara her car back and finally be rid of her for good.
"Hey, baby, you okay?"
Jax looked up from screwing on a lug nut on the tire of the Cutlass that was suspended in the air, seeing his mother approaching him. He stopped what he was doing, setting his tool down, and pulled the cigarette from his lips. "You wouldn't happen to know about this shit, would you?" He pointed the scratched word on the driver side door on Tara's car.
Gemma huffed, pulling her sunglasses above her head. She leaned forward inspecting Lena's handiwork, still feeling proud. "It looks like the work of a scorned Old Lady."
Jax rolled his steely blues in annoyance. "That doesn't seem like somethin' Lena would do. Unless she had the influence of someone." He looked pointedly at his mother.
Gemma shrugged. "I'm not the one who couldn't keep my shit in my pants, honey. Hooking up with Tara was a bad fucking idea."
"I know that." Jax spat bitterly, going back to tightening a lug nut on the back tire.
"And that little hussy keeps showing up, shoving her snatch in your face, and you keep entertaining the cunt when you need to be working things out with Lena."
Jax sighed heavily, the annoyance growing in the pit of his stomach. Sometimes he wished his mother would mind her own fucking business. "Ma, there's nothing going on with me and Tara, and I told you that I told Lena that I would respect her decision."
Gemma pursed her lips together, knowing that her son was nowhere near done with Lena. He was just trying to be the good guy since he was the one who fucked up. But she also knew the man that Jax could be. Her son was very territorial when it came to things he felt belonged to him, and that was never good for anyone involved. "So, you're telling me that you'd be okay with seeing your Old Lady out with other men?"
Jax's jaw ticked at that thought, as he stubbed out his cigarette, before reaching for another. "It's not my choice, is it now?"
Gemma folded her arms across her chest. "I know you, Jackson. I know what Lena means to you. Fix it, before someone else gets hurt." She tossed her sunglasses back on and then stalked off.
Jax watched his mother walk away, and he knew that she was right. He needed to make things right with Lena, before he ended up with a longer murder rap.
After Lena left TM, she was still feeling energetic from that adrenaline rush of busting up Tara's wheels, that she decided to burn it off by running some errands. She knew that she should have felt bad for vandalizing someone else's property, but Lena was just tired of giving a shit anymore.
Lena was now currently making her way through her local grocery store, picking up a few items that she was low on. As she was making her way down the cereal aisle, she was stopped by a familiar face, as he was still dressed in his tan uniform.
"Lena, hey."
"Hey, David." Lena gave the Deputy Chief a warm smile. "What's going on?"
Hale shrugged. "Nothing much. Just got out of work, picking up some things for tonight's dinner."
Lena then casually peered into Hale's basket, seeing only bread, cheese, and a can of tomato soup. "I'm guessing you're making grilled cheese."
Hale chuckled, embarrassingly, his face turning a deeper shade of red. "Yeah, I'm not much of a cook, but I can make a mean grilled cheese."
Lena giggled softly. "When was the last time you had an actual meal?"
Hale started calculating in his head, and he was coming up blank. "I guess it's been awhile."
Lena nodded. "I figured as much." She then sighed heavily, looking down in her own basket, before turning to look back at Hale. She was feeling like she might regret what she was about to say next. "Look, I'm making spaghetti for dinner tonight. If you want, you can come by my place around 6:30 and have a real meal. Not grilled cheese."
Hale's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Yeah, that sounds great."
"It's not a date." Lena quickly clarified, because she didn't want the Deputy Chief to get his hopes up that this was going to be anything more than two friends having dinner. "This is me saving you from that grilled cheese."
Hale nodded in understanding. "Okay, that's fine. I guess I'll see you tonight." He gave her one last smile before turning heel and leaving the cereal aisle.
Lena then paid for her items and made her way out of the grocery store. But since life was out to get her, she was stopped dead in her tracks again. The last person she ever wanted to see was now standing before her.
"Jesus Christ," Lena hissed, rolling her eyes, "you really are like a cockroach."
Tara just ignored Lena's snide comment and folded her arms across her chest. The good doctor was angry and didn't have any time for petty, childish games. "I know what you did."
"And what is it that I did, Doctor?" Lena gave Tara a small, teasing smirk.
"What you did to my car was completely uncalled for, Lena." Tara spat, her pale cheeks burning in anger. "You're lucky that Jax can fix it at no charge."
Lena gave a hearty, sarcastic chuckle. "You have no proof that I did anything to your shitty ass car. So, if you don't mind, I have to be somewhere that's nowhere near you." She quickly brushed past Tara, bumping her shoulder in the process.
However, Tara wasn't done. Jax's former love immediately reached out to grab Lena's wrist to stop her. "Look, I know you're pissed about what Jax and I did, boo freaking hoo, but that doesn't give you the right to vandalize someone's property."
Lena looked down at Tara's pale hand that was wrapped around her brown one. That was definitely the wrong thing for Tara to do. Anger bubbled in Lena's gut, as she snatched her wrist from Tara's hold. That caused the doctor to stumble just a bit, before Lena stepped up to Tara's face.
"You touch me again, bitch, and the next time, I will carve WHORE into your goddamn forehead." Lena threatened, before finally stalking off to her car and leaving Tara in disbelief.
Lena was relieved when she didn't see Jax's bike parked in front of the house. After dealing with Tara, she really didn't want to really deal with him either. Parking her Mustang in the driveway, she hopped out of the car. She then made her way up to the front door, letting herself inside.
Lena immediately spotted Neeta, folding clothes, as she made her way into the kitchen. Neeta was a long time friend of the family. After Wendy split again, following Donna's death, Neeta was brought on to help with taking care of Abel.
The moment Neeta noticed Lena's presence, she stopped her task, looking over at her boss' ex. "Oh, hello."
"Hey Neeta." Lena replied softly, making her way further into the kitchen.
"You know that Jax isn't here, honey." Neeta told her with furrowed brows. "He's at the garage."
Lena nodded, feeling a gnawing in her gut. "Yeah, I know. That's why I'm here. I just came by to get the rest of my things."
Lena saw Neeta internally facepalm, shaking her head, at her slip. "Right. I'm sorry, girl."
"Don't apologize." Lena waved her off. "Where's Abel?"
"He's down for his nap." Neeta said, and noticed the desolate look across Lena's face. "Actually," she looked down at her watch, "he should be getting up for his afternoon bottle right now. If you want to feed him?"
Lena gave Abel's nanny a warm smile. "I'd love too."
Neeta returned the smile, before reaching over and pulling a ready bottle from what Lena had assumed was a jug of warm water. She handed it over to Lena, and Lena didn't hesitate to grab the bottle from Neeta. Lena sat her keys and purse on the table, and making her way into Abel's nursery.
Lena walked cautiously up to the crib, peering down. Her heart melted and a small smile graced her features at the sight of a tiny version of her ex now staring right back at her with those big blue eyes.
"Hey, handsome. You hungry?" Lena cooed, reaching down to grab the infant from the comforts of his bed.
Abel squirmed and gurgled, as Lena sat down and got herself comfortable on the rocking chair. She then placed the bottle to the little boy's mouth, and he latched on greedily, making grunts of satisfaction.
"I guess you were hungry, huh?" Lena giggled, rocking gently back and forth, as Abel continued to scarf down his lunch.
Lena looked down at Abel, stroking her finger across his softy, rosy cheek. She couldn't believe that it was only just a few months ago when they didn't even know if he was going to survive with being born early with a hole in her stomach and having the family flaw. Now look at him. Aside from the scar on his belly, you never would have thought that this was even the same child.
Lena sighed heavily, still rocking back and forth, feeling the guilt eating away at her conscience. She wanted to blame her break up with Jax for the sudden disappearance in Abel's life, but she knew it was way before that.
She never wanted to admit it outloud, but when Lena lost her baby, a small part of her resented the little boy squirming in her arms. She knew it was wrong, but she could help but feel that it was unfair that Abel was getting a second chance at life, while her baby would never see the light of day.
Now that her and Jax's relationship was done, she knew that she'd never get the chance to even start making it up to Abel.
"I'm so sorry, buddy." Lena told Abel softly, as his big blue eyes stared up at her. "I wish that things could be different. I wish I could be here to watch you grow. But," she sucked in a deep breath, "I can't. I know that's selfish, but your daddy and me," she then hesitated, feeling the tears burn the back of her eyes, "it's just not gonna work out. But you have people who love you - people who would die for you. You're a very lucky little boy. You should know that."
Lena then pulled the now finished bottle from Abel's mouth, before setting him on her shoulder. She gently rubbed the small of his back, coaxing the wind out of him. When Abel gave a small burp, Lena giggled softly.
"There you go." Lena cooed, placing a kiss on Abel's chubby cheek.
Lena hadn't realized that she was being watched until she looked up and saw another pair piercing blue eyes staring back at her. Jax was leaning against the frame of Abel's bedroom door, his arms folded across his chest.
"How long've you been standing there?" Lena questioned, swallowing the lump at the back of her throat, as her ex stood there with a small grin on his face.
Jax shrugged, now shoving his hands into his jean pockets. His kutte setting on across his chest, standing proudly against his blue flannel button up. "Not long. I just stopped by to check on Abel, and Neeta said that you were in here."
"Yeah, I just came by to pick up the rest of my things, and I couldn't resist." Lena nodded toward Abel, who was snuggled comfortably in her arms.
"How've you been?"
Lena shrugged, keeping her attention on the little one in her arms. "I've been better."
Things become uncomfortably quiet before the sounds of Jax's soft laughter breaks it.
"What?" Lena wondered what was so funny now.
"'Whore'?" Jax teased. "I guess I never pegged you for the vandalizing type, Lee."
"I guess I'm full of surprises, huh?" Lena snarked, "and just like always Jax Teller had to swoop in and be the damsel's hero."
And just like that, the mood had shifted.
"Look," Lena sighed heavily, adjusting Abel in her arms, "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have come here."
Jax immediately shook his head in a dismissive manner, finally making his way into the nursery. "Don't apologize for wanting to spend time with Abel, Lee."
"I know I should have asked first—"
Jax cut her off, leaning against Abel's dresser. "I know you may not believe a lot of shit I saw nowadays, but I meant what I said when Abel was born. You're just as much of his mother as Wendy— maybe even more."
Lena swallowed thickly, looking back down at Abel, muttering to herself, "but I'm not, Jax. He needs a mother that is going to be there— help raise him. That's not me." She shook her head. "I have to distance myself from the club, from you, from him." She could feel her heart breaking at the thought. "Maybe Tara would be a better mother to him."
Lena knew that was a low blow, but it was what she was feeling.
Jax's jaw ticked, as he ran a hand down his face, angrily pulling at his growing beard. He then turned to Lena with tears in his own eyes. "That's not fair."
Lena scoffed, feeling two hot tears falling down her cheeks. "Not fair? You want to talk about not fair, Jax? Was it fair that you were banging your ex-girlfriend while I was losing your child? Was it fair that I have been here for you for years, only for you to end up with the woman that stomped on your heart 10 years ago, that I put back together? You want to talk about fair, Jax? That's not fair."
Lena then stood to her feet, making her way over to Jax, and setting his son carefully into his arms. "I'm just gonna grab my shit, and I'll be gone."
Lena was busy throwing any of her things that she found either lying around in Jax's room, shoved into his closet, or even in the drawers, in garbage bags. It had only been a few minutes since she left Jax in Abel's nursery, but she was just ready to be out of here.
When something caught her eye, Lena stopped right in front of the dresser. What caught her eye was that photo of her and Jax from 6 years ago. It had been safely tucked back in the corner of the mirror. Reaching up, Lena plucked the picture from its resting spot, the happy faced taunting her.
Lena half thought about ripping it up, but instead just laid it on top of the dresser. She then looked up to see Jax's reflection staring back at her in the mirror.
"I'm almost done." Lena told him, quickly looking away. She went back to grabbing the last her things.
As she tried to walked passed Jax, he immediately stopped her by grabbing her by the waist.
"There's nothing going on between me and Tara, Lee." Jax strained, pushing her curls out of her face, and pressing his forehead to hers. "I promise you. Now tell me how to fix it, so we can put this shit behind us."
Lena released a shuddering breath. Every bone in her body was screaming for him. She felt like her heart was going to explode. She hated that Jax Teller could make her feel this way. She knew she would have loved nothing more than to make things work, but she also knew that what he and Tara did would haunt their relationship forever.
"Jax," Lena whispered softly, "there's nothing to fix. We're done." She pulled away from him and walked out of his room.
Lena stared at her reflection in the mirror of her bathroom. She was still feeling the after effects of her encounter with Jax. A million and one thoughts were plaguing her mind, and it made her sick to her stomach.
Of course Lena still loved Jax. She didn't know if she'd ever stop. But she also knew that loving Jax Teller is painful and highly toxic. Leaving him was the best thing she could have done.
Right?
Lena sighed heavily, trying to shake any thoughts of Jax Teller out of her head.
Right on time, the sound of her doorbell rang through the house. Lena quickly retreated from the bathroom, heading toward her front door. She knew that it was David Hale coming over for the dinner she had promised him earlier that day. After dealing with Jax, she wasn't really looking forward to and didn't exactly want to go through with this, but it was already too late to cancel.
"Wow." David softly exclaimed the moment his eyes landed on Lena, as she opened the front door. "You look great." He nodded toward what she was wearing; a cream camisole underneath, a cream off the shoulder, cropped cardigan, and a pair of practically painted on jeans. Her natural bright brown curls were pulled into a top bun, with wispy tendrils framing her heart shaped face.
It was her literal go to hairstyle, but David was staring at her like he had never seen it before.
Lena could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. "Thanks, David." She then took in his casual wear of a fitted blue t-shirt underneath a button up, a pair of Wranglers, and brown boots. Lena couldn't remember the last time she ever saw him in anything but his uniform. "Come in."
"I brought wine." David sputtered handing an unopened bottle of moscato to Lena.
Lena shut the door closed, turning to the gesture. She looked at the bottle and swallowed thickly. Ever since she and Jax split, she was trying to stay away from alcohol. She had been using it as a crutch to deal with her problems and knew that it was never the way to go. But Lena knew that in order to get through this dinner, that crutch was gonna help her stand tonight.
So, Lena hesitantly took the bottle from David's grasp. "This is great. Um, I'm gonna go toast the garlic bread, and everything should be ready. Would you like a glass?"
David nodded, noticing the nervousness written in Lena's eyes. "Yeah, sure."
"Okay," Lena began, "just have a seat, and I'll bring it out to you." She told him, before rushing into the kitchen.
After tossing a few pieces of homemade garlic bread into the oven, Lena reached for a couple wine glasses. Popping the cork, she poured herself a full glass, before downing it in one go. She then poured herself another glass and one for David. Taking in a deep breath, she grabbed both glasses and the bottle, taking them both out to David, who was sitting on her couch.
Dinner with David actually didn't go as bad as Lena had expected it to be. They mostly reminisced and shared a few laughs about high school, and the crazy teachers that they'd dealt with. But then the conversation took a turn, and they started treading into unchartered waters, when David brought up Lena's biker ex.
"I'm sorry to hear about you and Jax." David said, taking a sip from his wine glass. He had been nursing that one glass since he got there. Lena, on the other hand, had nearly finished the bottle herself.
Lena glared toward the Deputy Chief, as she took a huge swallow from her glass. "Sorry or happy?"
David sighed heavily, sitting back in his seat. "Am I happy that you're not dealing with that criminal anymore? Sure. Am I happy that you're not happy? Obviously not. Why this town believes in the Sons, I'll never understand."
Lena shoved her plate away from her, also sitting back in her seat now annoyed as hell. "You'll never understand because you feel as if you are on the right side of the law. SAMCRO does a lot for Charming. They keep drugs and violence away from this ass backward town."
"And what about Donna Winston?" David's brow furrowed, challenging Lena's defense. "How does that keep the violence away?"
And now Lena was sick to her stomach. "Donna's death was very unfortunate and it will be dealt with."
"With more violence." David stated firmly, folding his arms across his chest.
Lena sat taken aback. "I'm sorry, I wasn't under the impression that this was an interrogation, David."
David sighed and swallowed thickly, regretting everything that just happened. "I'm sorry. Maybe I should take off? It's getting pretty late."
"Yeah, maybe you should." Lena snipped, standing up to start clearing the dishes and dumping them in the sink.
"I guess goodnight." David said, feeling guilty for the way the night had turned.
Lena sighed heavily, turning to face David from her spot at the sink. She knew that David was a standup guy, who upheld the law, and that SAMCRO wasn't exactly the good guys. She just couldn't help, but defend people she had still considered family. "Let me at least walk you out, David."
David gently nodded, following right behind Lena, as she was making her way to the front door to open it.
"Hey," David called out from stepping onto Lena's front porch, "I'm sorry about what just happened. For what it's worth, I really did enjoy myself. Maybe we could try this again sometime?"
Lena looked at her feet, leaning against the door, before looking back at David. "Maybe."
All David could do was nod at the fact that he had ruined a perfectly good evening due to his hatred of SAMCRO. As he hopped in his jeep, he gave Lena one last wave, before starting up the vehicle and taking off.
Lena released the breath that she had been holding in, once she had shut her door closed again. She hated that she had let David get the best of her, coming to the defense of SAMCRO.
Lena then heard the sound of what she thought was a revving engine of a motorcycle. Her brows furrowed, and she quickly turned to open her door once more. But instead of seeing what she thought she had heard, she found herself feeling a little disappointed to only see dark midnight skies and flickering street lights.