Hermione had been keeping to herself in the days and weeks after her fight with Severus. Shortly after the fight, she had gone to seek counsel with Minerva who asked no question and offered only a listening ear before putting her into her own room in Gryffindor tower. Minerva assumed that if she were in there with others, she would hopefully be less of a target to the Carrows if something went awry, rather than if she were placed into the guest dormitories. The issue was because she had spent so long with Severus and the student body as a whole viewed her as his little pet, her presence wasn't always met with kindness in the common room and Minerva often mentally scolded him for the situation he had forced her in to.
Hermione would lock herself in the room of an evening and weekends and would just sit, staring out of the window across the icy grounds of the school. Winter had well and truly set in which thankfully meant she had zero reasons to traipse around the grounds or seek out the sun. Instead, she could go to classes and then lock herself straight back up away from prying eyes and harsh whispers.
She didn't know what to do or where to go from here and she had never really felt more alone than she did now. Blindsided by Severus and the premise that maybe something more would happen than friendship and losing her best friends in the process, she was stuck between a rock and a hard place and didn't seem to have any way out.
She had been avoiding Severus like the plague so if he didn't know she was pissed in the start, he would have by now and she often sat in her room wondering if he was wondering about her. She missed him, god she missed him but on principle and the way he treated her she would not be crawling back to him and he could come grovelling back to her instead no matter how much it killed her. When she would eat meals in the hall, something she was required to do now that she wasn't given free rein under Severus's watch, she could feel him watching her almost with the intent of a lion watching its prey and ready to pounce but she never once looked up and afforded him any attention. Not even an eye flicked in his direction and in her eyes that was more than a giant middle finger in his direction.
And then when she had been walking to class and she saw him in the distance she would turn abruptly on her heel and stalk back the way she had just come even if it meant prolonging her journey and it was all just out of spite but deep down she knew he deserved it.
And now here she was, another week had passed and the weekend looming. She just had to get through today and she could spend the entirety of her weekend tucked up in her room with a book snuggled under her blankets and forget about how much her life had gone to shit lately.
She had potions first up and she rolled her eyes hard. Even though he was not her teacher anymore just the thought of being in the classroom he had spent years prior made her angry and hurt. It almost felt like his dour and sarcastic energy had leeched into the walls over the years and now slowly seeped out to darken whoever sat within its walls day.
With her bag slung loosely over her shoulder, she shuffled into the classroom, threw her bag on the ground and sat down heavily on a stool. She was the first one here as usual and sat with her hands resting idly on the well-worn wooden table as she waited.
Soft footsteps followed her own not thirty seconds later, head turned to catch the gaze of Pansy Parkinson who stopped a few feet from her looked incredulously around the room and then slipped in beside Hermione without a second thought.
"What's going on, Granger?" She asked softly, throwing her own bag in the ground making it evident she had planned to sit beside her this lesson.
"What do you mean what's going on? She retorted back casting a darkened look.
"Well, one week you are the Headmasters plaything, and the next you had been cast aside as little more than a piece of trash."
Hermione snorted in response. "Ah, that. Well-"
"You wanted more than he did?" She asked in a hushed whisper looking pointedly at Hermione. "See, I knew he was gay!" She exclaimed and slammed her open palm hand on the surface of the table.
"Well, if you already knew, why did you ask?" He rolled her eyes harshly.
"Because I've heard dribs and drabs of what had happened, and it was just speculation up until now. Draco overheard Snape talking to McGonagall in the halls about it and it piqued my interest when he told me. I assumed Snape wanted you to warm his bed and satisfy his needs but it seems I was wrong on that front and for him to push you away after wanting to keep you close for safety either means he is trying to protect you or something in his plan went wayward and you are no longer needed to him anymore."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence there," She whispered darkly. "Why are you sitting with me anyway? Aren't you worried what your precious Draco and friends will think of you sitting with the filthy Mudblood?"
"Because," she lowered her voice a few octaves and looked around "I have it on good authority that Slughorn wouldn't be here today and the one person you want to avoid will be teaching us and I told you, I sort of think you are pretty cool and I admire you. I used to think you were just this weak, useless human who gushed over Harry Potter but now I see I was so far from the point, so the least I could do would be sitting here for some moral support during this time." She fished lazily in her bag for her quill. The soft whispers of startled students seeing the two girls sitting together civilly tore through the air.
Hermione's palms started sweating and a lump formed in her throat. She had tried her hardest to avoid him but now he had forced her into a well-laid trap. She knew deep down he would be doing it just to get a rise out of her and he knew that if he were to teach the class she could hardly run without causing a scene and dramatic scenes were something Hermione didn't like to start.
Severus stalked in with a scowl planted firmly on his face- as usual, and she felt her body tense harshly and her breath caught in her throat. Pansy gently nudged her foot with her own in a weird gesture of comfort she could only assume.
"Parkinson, Granger, you are working to-" He stopped and looked at them, head tilted in question. "Together," he continued to the front of the room utterly perplexed and unable to work out why they had already opted to sit beside one another. Interesting.
He noticed Hermione avoided looking at him as much as she could but for the split second her eyes met his and they locked for but a fleeting moment he saw the hate, loathing and disdain dancing deep in her orbs and he felt his fragile heart pang with guilt that he had caused it. He wasn't used to seeing hatred in her eyes and he didn't like it one tiny bit but again deep down her knew it was for the best and it was because he felt something deep down for the girl and maybe, perhaps, in different circumstances, something may have been able to flourish between them and he may have allowed himself a small sliver of happiness but as it stood now that wasn't possible without putting a giant target on her back if he hadn't already painted one on there for her yet.
And now he was left wondering since when did her and Parkinson become good enough friends to sit beside one another without being forced? Was there something at play here at was in merely an innocent friendship that had somehow formed the night they had detention together. Merlin knew Pansy could use Hermione for her own ill-gotten gains but on the other hand, Hermione wasn't stupid and could tell when someone wasn't being fully transparent. Maybe, just maybe, Pansy craved the attention of a level-headed female friend to help ground her and get her through these fucking shitty times.
"I want two feet of parchment on the long-term effects of the draught of the living dead. I also want a full ingredients list compiled within that parchment and I want it on my desk by the end of the lesson. And if you don't finish you can finish it tonight in detention with Filch," he snarled and sat down at the desk with arms folded tightly across his chest.
The soft ruffling of parchment sailed through the air and Hermione tried to focus but her mind kept wandering to him and what he had done to her. She willed herself to write but her eyes kept darting to the front of the room and each time his eyes were fixed solely on her and she hated it. What gave him the right to watch her when he didn't even want her? He had certainly left a bitter taste in her mouth and nothing would ever wash it out. She wouldn't say she loved Severus Snape, but she admired him. She liked him and for what it was worth she thought he was a decent human being when others didn't but perhaps she had been hoodwinked into thinking he was more than he really was.
She forced herself to look away and start writing feverishly to get it finished in the allotted time. The last thing she wanted was detention with Filch who would probably get his jollies off in handing her over to the Carrows on a silver platter.
She caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of her eye and turned her head just so to see him meandering around the classroom peering at each students parchment. She tried to swallow but her mouth was so dry it was impossible. She could feel him stop behind her before his shadow had cast over her and she stiffened. He lingered a little longer over her than he did any other student and he moved off without another word.
"Quill down," his voice rang through the otherwise silent classroom and Hermione placed her quill on the table, stretching her very cramped hand open and closed a few times.
"Please bring your parchments to the front and exit the room. Miss Granger, please stay behind to discuss your work," he said with an air of boredom not even looking up.
Her heart sank. Her palms sweated. She looked to Pansy and winced.
"You will be right, Granger. You've faced worse than that before." She smiled softly and threw her bag over her shoulder and sauntered out of the room without another word.
Once the last student had left Hermione stood, walked to the front of the room and slammed her parchment on the desk hard not even looking at him as she did so and then felt his hand clamp down on her own as she went to pull away. She looked down at her hands and then up slowly to him, she was hunched over the desk and the anger evident in her eyes as she tried to recoil once again but he was too strong.
"You've been avoiding me," his voice a low, ghostly whisper, eyes dancing with question holding her gaze steadfast.
"No fucking shit," she retorted through harshly gritted teeth, flames now dancing in her eyes and shooting daggers at him.
"What's going on with you and Parkinson?"
She pulled her gaze from his own, head turned sideways, curls cascading over her cheek obscuring the disgust that was evident on her face right now.
"What's it matter? Am I not allowed to have a single friend in this world, or do you want to take that one away from me too like you did the others?" She turned back to him and the hurt was evidently etched in the lines of her face and he couldn't but help feel that pang of guilt in his heart again.
"She's a Slytherin, Hermione," he warned sternly.
"And so are you and I trusted you. Maybe you are right. Maybe all Slytherins are terrible people." She shrugged her shoulders high.
"Hermione, I'm sorry. I never intended for any of this to happen. I never knew you would follow me; I didn't know we would be forced back here. I did not plan to drive a wedge through the friendship you held with Potter and Weasley and I certainly never intended to break your heart," his voice heavily laced with genuine sincerity.
"Oh, I see. That makes it all better again knowing that you never intended for it to happen or plan for it." She pulled her hands from his grip as hard as she could not wanting to be touched by him any longer.
"Hermione, it's complicated," he warned sternly pulling himself up to his full height from where he sat and towered over her vastly.
"How could it be complicated? In what world is a relationship complicated? In what universe is there a reason you need to push me away? I followed you to your home knowing full well my whole life was about to be turned upside down, but I still followed because I wanted to get to know you more. I trusted you. I figured that even with everything going on I was going to be protected by you. If that didn't speak volumes about how I was probably feeling at that time, then nothing will. And then, and then you kissed me, and I actually liked it and my brain started ticking over and I thought maybe there could be something between us. Perhaps, maybe we both could have had a little happiness but for some selfish reason you decided to push me away and you push me away when you know full well the Carrows are just one moment away from dragging me into an alcove and doing me in and you are doing nothing to help the situation at all and I am marked because of you. Because they want to get to you and take you down and if they didn't think that I meant nothing to you they would have just left me be. And even they got it wrong, but it is clear I am little more than an inconvenience in your life." She was shaking now from the anger coursing through her veins. Hot tears pricking her eyes she shook with red-hot anger.
"Hermione," he warned again. "It's complicated."
"You know what? I do not even want to know what is going through your head right now. I have to get to class and hope that the Carrows don't slit my throat on the way through seeing as I have to walk there alone because I had to hang around and argue with you." She tossed her hands madly in the air, collected her book bag and stalked from the classroom, not even three steps through the doorway she felt a hand around her wrist that pulled her unsteadily off her path. Stumbling a few steps with heart hammering in her chest, eyes wide she relaxed visibly when she saw it was only Pansy.
"How much did you hear?" Hermione asked gently, casting a look over her shoulder to make sure he hadn't followed.
"Everything. From start to finish. I'd say I didn't mean to pry, but I wanted to hear what went down and I figured we both had transfiguration together that we may as well be late together. And who knows who is lurking around the corners around here now. Safety in numbers I suppose." She shrugged, walking off and Hermione following behind.
"And you aren't worried your precious boyfriend Draco will be upset you are hanging around with me, a lowly Mudblood?"
"First off, he isn't my boyfriend. And secondly, I've told you, I don't care what they think anymore? I am my own person and if I want to talk to you, I will. I am over the toxic Slytherin culture and I need a way out of there or forever be tarred with that brush and it isn't who I am. Maybe in the earlier days, I was, or, at least my parents and inner circle wanted that but now I am older and not as impressionable I can see the wrong path I had been taking and now I want to right the wrongs and if that means ruffling a few feathers then so be it. You clearly need a friend so don't complain about my companionship."
Hermione couldn't help but smile slightly. Did she actually have a friend now in this school? She assumed so.
o-o-o-o-o
For fuck sake. Women would be the god damn death of him. He sat at his desk tapping his fingers lazily on the oak table staring off into the distance. Why couldn't the stupid chit see he was pushing her away from him to spare her from the horrors that could potentially befall her? Merlin fucking knew he wanted nothing more than to pull her close, press his lips to hers and fuck her well into the night but that wasn't going to happen.
Of course, his whole plan had gone wayward. There was no denying that. It was a simple plan really. Befriend the girl; check. Force her apart from her friends; done. Entice her to follow; accomplished. Use her for sex and then break her heart; err, he achieved half of that. But nowhere in his plan did he have fall for the girl.
He laid his head down on the desk. He didn't know what to do anymore.
A/N: I am loving writing this story so much. I hope you are loving reading it also! I have written Pansy in as a plot point and slowly working towards where she needs to be.
-Aliasmel1