Hello there! Greetings from Boston. We stopped in Portland Maine two weeks ago, but I didn't have this quite ready. The goal is to have this chapter and the third one of Strong Memories ready by the first wifi of the portcall. Took me a little walking to find an open Starbucks, but here I am posting. Strong Memories 3 is only half done so it might not make it in time for this trip. If not we will be back here in two-ish weeks. I really should have taken the time to finish the evaluations for my guys, but I didn't want to. Writing was far more interesting.
Blades and Bellflowers
Chapter 4- Truth and Lies
Fear is a funny thing. It can freeze some people in place, frightened and useless. Others are spurned into action, courage in the face of danger. It seems that Van and I had the two different types of reaction. My mind spun at the loss of my disguise. Unable to make a move or argument that would help in this situation. Instead a lean form shifted, stepping in front of me and blocking my barely dressed body from the older man's gaze.
Honestly, I couldn't say what scared me more; the damage this would do to my reputation or the prospect of being sent home to my life of half-truths and hiding. Just the thought that Van still stood with me filled my chest with hope. How we would get out of this trouble seemed impossible, but the thing I'd miss most about living as Hiro the page, was the friendship that seemed to be growing between me and the king. Even though one of my secrets was now out in the open, I would never tell anyone about Van. It was his personal business if he didn't want people to know and I respected that, because I understood in a way many couldn't.
Before Allen could lecture us farther the raven-haired boy lifted one hand silencing him with the motion. A gesture that somehow commanded obedience.
"I am prepared to take full responsibility for Hitomi." I don't know what shocked me more; the calm dignified way he spoke, or the deeper meaning to his simple words. My mind spun knowing that there was only one way to take responsibility for a girl caught in a scandalous situation with a boy. For the second time in very recent events he openly called me by my real name. This time it was to directly declare intentions not just to protect my reputation, but to marry me to do it.
I'd always thought if I ever did bind myself to another person it would be for love not duty. The strange fluttering feeling when he was close must be friendship and not something deeper right? Sure, my family would be thrilled that I found a man that accepted me strange powers and all, but more over he was royalty. It was beyond anything they, or I could ever hope for. Still was it what I wanted?
"Now hold on," Allen started, and I could tell he was still bothered by the secrets kept right under his nose, or at least the one he now knew of. Before the tall man could start up again Van cut him off sharply.
"If you wouldn't mind leaving my tent Hitomi has a right to get dressed without being interrogated." The curtness in his voice led me to believe that this was an order and not a suggestion. It was strange to see the boy turn into a king right in front of me. He was raised for this, commanding people, even if it wasn't what he wanted.
The knight did leave without argument, but the ridged set to his broad shoulders made it clear that this was far from over. I'd never seen Allen's eyes like that, something in them was cold as a sheet of ice and just as brittle.
"Hey," I rounded on Van the moment we were alone. With just the two of us my temper erased any embarrassment over the lack of clothing I wore. There were other opportunities to be shy, this was not one of them. "You can't just go saying something like that. This is serious!"
"I fully meant it," His voice was smooth and low as though there were more to the words, but I didn't really understand. Still my heart did this weird little flip flop that I tried my best to ignore. Despite the little missteps early in our interaction his intention was clear. If Van swore to marry me to protect my fragile reputation, he would.
Without any further explanation he turned and left the tent, abandoning me to my swirling thoughts. I never asked him to protect me, but that was exactly what he was doing. This was all about my reckless need to run off and change the visions I couldn't accept.
Until now I'd held the information gained by my unwanted gift in and let nature take it's course. Somehow that pull towards Van I felt the moment our eyes met on that busy street before the tournament changed everything. It wasn't just a chance to be free from the gilded cage and isolation, but an opportunity to be of use for once.
No matter what happened now I couldn't let them send me home. The problem was that my options were very limited. With a deep steadying breath I went about getting dressed. My real identity would be all over the camp in moments, if it already wasn't, so why hide things now. It wasn't like I could just wear a dress and become a Lady again, all I had with me were the men's clothes I'd been wearing for the last couple of weeks. Though Van had done a decent job with my hair it was now short enough that it would take years to return to normal.
All I could really do was forgo the tight binding vest under my shirt, even that slight change must have done the job. Because the moment I stepped outside the morning routine of the camp preparing for the day stilled. I was a girl again, and they all knew it.
Chin held high I strode over to Allen's tent knowing I would find both men waiting there, and I wasn't disappointed. The blond knight leaned against the small desk on one side of the space with his arms crossed and expression stony. Van on the other hand sat calmly on the wooden chest at the foot of the cot, seemly unbothered but almost vibrating with potential energy.
Before either of them could make a move at my entrance I spoke holding the stack of painted cards I'd kept hidden in my belongings until now.
"The reason I came here is the same as why Lord Van wants to protect me." I took a deep breath and continued quickly to keep from losing my nerve. "I'm a seer."
Van tensed at the use of his title at a time like this. If anything, Allen became even more statue-like. I had to tell the story from my side, starting at the beginning.
"Afraid of people's reaction to my abilities I've had to hide it from everyone. Until I met the king at the tournament. He witnessed me having a vision and knew what I was right away, but never asked what I saw." This was the tricky part getting Allen to believe me without betraying the boy who had protected me. "Blood and death as war began. For the first time I felt like I was seeing these things for a reason. If I could only warn of danger this curse might be useful."
Allen shifted, and I had to keep my attention focused on him. Even though I could feel Van's gaze burning me with its focused touch. Maybe because of it.
"I joined the company with the intention of staying close enough to keep the king safe and protect us all from walking into something we couldn't predict." This was hard in a way, but it was also lifting a huge weight off my shoulders. Whatever the sworn knight decided would change everything. "For these two weeks I've been giving my information to Van and letting him be the one to tell you. Coming from him it had more weight than if I said it, and more so if anyone knew I was a girl."
"Despite your good intentions Lady Kanzaki, you've been lying from the very beginning. How can I trust what you are saying now?" The coldness in his voice felt like a dagger twisting low in my stomach. This was possibly the first time the knight had ever really seen the real me, not the reclusive Lords daughter, or the skinny page. Sadly, he didn't seem to like what he saw at all.
"I can prove it to you." Normal visions don't require me to use the cards in my hand, but if I need specific information it is the best way to narrow things down, focusing the power. Otherwise what I gather is random and greatly varies. If I was being honest with myself doing this was risky and more than a little scary. This was a very personal thing I was showing them, calling on my power willingly with an audience.
What I did last night was almost the exact opposite as a reading. The Cards are open to interpretation and can be misread; visions only show the truth but take far more out of me. Part of me was afraid that Van would think I could have investigated what was happening in Fanelia the whole time. If he thought I was holding back whatever trust we'd built would be gone. That thought alone hurt far more than all Allen's cold looks ever could.
The silence had drawn out painfully. Eventually the knight waved me over to his desk, though it was clear he didn't expect much. I risked a glance at my companion, but his eyes were shadowed, dark and unreadable. Taking the seat was hard, like walking a rope high above a steep drop, one misstep would be deadly. With a slight tremor in my hands I hoped no one would see I cut the deck. Shuffling the painted faces downward.
Taking a deep breath, I cut the deck a second time. Then started laying the cards out one at a time, face down against the wooden surface. I'd thought of doing a reading of the golden-haired man directly but digging into his past and possible future might be counterproductive. Instead I needed him to see me as useful. As I touched each card I pictured the steep cliffs and white palace I saw last night.
The first image flipped over was the hermit turned upside down. "Fanelia has been a land of self-isolation for as far back as anyone can remember." At my words I could feel Van shift, as though turning his body towards my reading would gather more information for him.
Next a strange thing happened; two cards were stuck together. I'd never seen that before. The page of coins was overlapping the ace of swords, or the dragon card in my mind. Thinking that I made a mistake I set the ace aside and read for the page instead because it was the one on top, but something about it didn't feel right. "A chance for a student to prove himself to his master, the tournament." I already knew that part, the dream before I left home said as much. Still something leads me towards the discarded option, new beginnings and strong determination.
What followed was the seven of swords which meant secret plans and I already knew it told of Zaibach, though what they wanted as an end goal was beyond me right now. Followed by the knight of hearts which I felt stood for Allen, someone who followed his heart and did what he believed was right.
Justice reversed was also not a surprise after my latest vision. "To take over the city lies were spread that the King was dead." The knight's eyebrows rose sharply. This part was news to him. Still something seemed off with this reading. It was normal, like one just anyone could do if they knew the meanings to the painted faces. I used to do this before my powers became so strong, and back then it would help me focus the power, but not now.
The cards were just pretty pictures, no tingle running through my fingertips this time. I could tell Allen was unimpressed. Who could blame him though? A carnival actor could have done the same thing for a copper. Closing my eyes before turning over the next I drew in a long settling breath, letting the air out slowly. With it came an almost tangible charge spreading out swiftly from my chest all the way to my toes.
The card turned over a grim hooded figure looking directly up at me, Death. As if summoned by my wish to see more, it moved, pulled up right off the stiff paper. Growing large as a man, his dark shadowing cloak circling around me. Fear closing off my throat; its evil face pressed in, red eyes glittering with malice.
Hands on my upper arms gripped me tightly, dispersing the terrible image and bringing back reality. Van's mahogany eyes were suddenly very close and full of concern.
"Hitomi, are you alright?" My cheeks warmed and I can't tell if it's from embarrassment or another emotion.
"I'm fine." I respond, voice sounding breathy and unsure. I can still remember the glowing red eyes and am reminded forcefully of the silver haired boy. His cruel laughter ringing in my ears for a painful moment.
With a shake of his wild hair Van dropped his hold on me. "Look, just tell Allen what you saw this morning." Somehow, he could tell I was lying. That soft fluttering in my chest was back and I was grateful for his thoughtfulness.
I nodded moving a shaking hand to pick up the tarot, returning them to the deck. It gave me a few seconds to collect my thoughts. Two of the unread cards flipped over from my carelessness; the tower and the wheel of fortune. Trying to tell myself it was nothing I hid them back in the middle of the stack, but I knew I was lying. Those faces wanted to be read. Still I didn't know what they meant for us.
"Last night Hitomi tried to see into Fanelia for me." Van started his tone mellow and attention returned to the watchful knight.
"Forcing the vision didn't work as I'd hoped, but there was something there." I took over the story, pushing the strange moment to the back of my mind, but not gone entirely. "That night I walked through a city I've never seen before. Houses shuddered and streets empty, because of the foreign soldiers marching in formation."
I could feel Allen's skepticism burning my skin. He thought this was just an overactive mind and a girl wanting attention. It was written on his handsome face. Undeterred I continued.
"The training yard held several more companies and a battalion of Milefs with unfamiliar armor and long capes." Van caught my eye and nodded encouragingly for me to continue. "They were all blue except for their leader who was crimson."
The knight inhaled sharply, and I knew I'd said something important. "The commander was around fifteen moons old with silver hair, pale skin, and blood red eyes. All the other pilots were around the same age and responded to his every order with military obedience."
"Are you sure he is in Fanelia?" Allen questioned, wanting me to be wrong.
"You know the red fighter?" Van cut in quickly.
With a long sigh the knight nodded, but he was no longer looking at us, but a memory. "Dilandau Alboutu," He hesitated as if not sure if we should know this. "He's the commander of Ziabach's elite Guymilef unit, the Dragonslayers. Unpredictable and vicious he rarely leaves enough survivors to spread word let alone a full description."
Before the dark-haired king demand we gather the whole army to rescue his people I rushed on. "There was also a pink haired neko girl who came from the palace. She said he was a liar and that Van couldn't be dead." I stopped speaking, something warned me about telling Allen about the Escaflowne. My sudden silence was covered by the boy presumed dead by his people.
"Her name is Merle and as my sister wouldn't believe them." There was a tenderness to his smooth tenor that told of his affection for the bright haired girl.
The surprise of his announcement must have shown on my face, because I felt the older man's searching eyes on me. This was proof that I knew things I couldn't have. Seen people miles away. Ones that I had no right being able to describe clearly. He believed me.
There was no going back. Another person knew exactly what I was. The question was what he'd do with this very dangerous information.
After a long moment Allen ran a white gloved hand over his face. "Well, this changes everything." He moved towards me in two swift steps, before I could react, he picked up a piece of parchment and quill. Starting to write in a looping elegant hand.
"We should move on Fanelia now before they realize we are coming." Van demanded not liking the vague way the other man was dealing with this new information, and us.
"No," Allen bit out sharply. "That is the last place you should go right now. I'm taking you back to Austuria then joining the main army. With Dilandau in wait this is a trap far too dangerous for our small party to handle. Even with a seer's warning."
Van was speechless. As though the knight had knocked the air right out of him, again. If the silver-haired boy was as bad as he said, maybe worse, than we would be stupid to keep going. Even though I've known the young king for around a fortnight it was clear he wouldn't agree to turn away from his people. Not with a fighter that dangerous inside the walls.
"And if I refuse?" I'd never heard his voice so flat and cold. This was a challenge he wouldn't back down from. Out maneuvered and out manned, still his courage made it hard to look away.
"Don't be a fool Van," The knight addressed him informally, like a misbehaving child that should know better. "Going to Fanelia is reckless, bordering on suicidal. I won't risk my men and asking me to is beyond selfish."
At his dismissive words the young king bristled. "Coward, and you call yourself a knight."
"That won't convince me," Allen waved off the insult without batting an eye. "I'll have you placed under arrest and dragged back to Asturia if I have to. The both of you have caused enough problems already."
I swallowed hard. My reasoning for being here didn't matter to him. Again, I was merely a runaway Lord's daughter, not a helpful warning, but a stone dragging them down. It didn't matter if he believed me. There was only one path for me now, back home, in shame.
"Do I need to go that far?" The knight's voice was stern, a note of warning clear to me and Van.
"No," Black hair shadowing his eyes, it seemed unlike him to be so passive. Then I knew what one of the cards meant. The tower, separation. Van wasn't willing to turn back. Not knowing what we do now. Just because Fanelia wasn't in ruins doesn't mean the tragedy isn't possible. What would Zaibach do when they couldn't find the Escaflowne? How long would it take for the full army to move on this information? It wouldn't be a bloodless return of the king as hoped, but full on war.
Those bright red eyes promised as much. There wasn't a hint of pity or kindness in their depths. Only chaos. It was clear what needed to be done now, but it doesn't make the sick feeling in my stomach lessen at all.
Seeming satisfied with Van's cowed attitude, Allen went out into the camp calling orders to pack quickly. Directing his men that we would be returning to the main fighting force with vital information. He's taken the letter and most likely sent it off with their fastest messenger. No doubt it told of my location, and the need to return the king to Palas for his safety. Lies about his death was one thing, but if caught Zaibach was willing to make it reality.
Silent and calm Van left the tent. Presumably to pack, but he had no intention to return to Asturia.
There was no way that he was meekly going to take Allen's order to retreat. I didn't need to be a seer to know that this stubborn boy was going to head in the opposite direction as the rest of the troupe. Right into danger. In a way I agreed that charging right into Fanelia was paramount to giving Zaibach exactly what they wanted, especially with the Escaflowne in our hands. It was stupid and reckless, but it was also so brave that I had to admire him.
It only meant one thing. I was going with him, weather he liked it or not. This was my mission too. The brash King of Fanelia needed me, not as a girl but a form of protection. I could be his shield, it didn't have to just work the other way. Unlike him though I knew running in blind was the last thing we needed to do here.
Prepared for an argument I entered Van's tent, the one home I'd had that never felt like a cage. Now that brief moment of contentment was gone. He moved around the small space like a whirlwind, swift and careless of the destruction caused in his wake. No care for the things that belonged with the company. Speed was important here. Packing clothes, maps, a couple blankets, along with all the weapons he owned.
"Are you going to tell Allen I'm leaving?" His voice was sharp and cutting, but it didn't bother me.
"I'm sure he already knows." My remark was flippant, and his head shot in my direction, so I continued. "But I'm not going with him either."
Van gaped as the words sank in. I knew he might tell me it was too dangerous for a girl, how my family was worried for me, or argue that I would just slow him down.
"You need me." I put in simply, "This is my mission too, and I can't turn around and go home with things only halfway done."
His jaw tightened for a moment and he returned to packing, eyes obscured by his shaggy hair. Somehow though I felt he was pleased that I was coming along, probably for the use of my abilities more than the company.
"Do what you want," He grunted, with a shrug. "You'll do it weather I like it or not."
I couldn't help a small smile as I started to pack my meager possessions. As I fastened the bag shut a thought came to me. There was an empty canvas sack the cots normally fit into as they were taken apart, bit I had a better use for it this time.
"Take this for me," I said shoving my roughly stuffed bag, quiver and bow into Van's surprised hands. "I'll meet you west of camp in twenty miets."
"What are you planning?" He asked, but took my belongings anyways.
"I have a few things to get before we leave." Not wanting to elaborate in case someone was listening through the thin fabric walls. I took off through the tent flap.
Word had already spread about the companies' movements, and things where well underway to strike camp and head back towards the main army. The chaos of tents being taken down and supplies packed; worked in my favor. Few people gave me a second glance. The ones that did were more curious that I wasn't a boy after all, then concerned about my actions.
First stop was the tent used as a makeshift kitchen, Reeden was busy loading the cart and didn't notice my pilfering. If Van and I were running off into the Fanelian countryside who knew were our resources would come from or how long this would take. Stuffing the sack with travel rations of dried fruit, smoked meat, hard cheese, and bread. Once full the canvas wasn't exactly light but slung across my back securely. I was then able to grab two large skins of water. Everyone in the group has their own canteen, but these would provide a reliable source when I didn't know the nearness of rivers on our route.
My next task was riskier. Here I got very lucky, as Kio was busy harnessing a couple of yorkels to a supply wagon and had left the tack for the other beasts sitting near where they were hobbled. My favorite girl among the ones still waiting to be prepared for the trip. I saddled her with practiced hands, and she seemed almost glad to be going with me, her soft gray muzzle nudging my shoulder lovingly. Feeling a little guilty about depriving the group of her use I left the small amount of silver I'd been given for her where the large soldier would see it.
With the food and water fastened in front of the saddle it left enough room for a couple small bags on the back, and just enough room for two thin people to ride if needed. I wouldn't want to load her up for too long, so Van and I would walk most of the way but putting distance between us and the camp was very important.
When I arrived at the meeting spot with my packed yorkel following obediently, Van's dark eyes widened impressed.
"Thought of everything haven't you," He slung both our bags and bows up, fastening them in place with ease. The yorkel flicked her short tail impatiently, ready like me to get some distance between us and the camp swarming with activity.
"She's mine after all," I explained uselessly. Somehow, I didn't want Van to think I was stealing the animal.
One side of his mouth quirked up in that lopsided smile that made my chest feel tight but said nothing. Instead he knelt down cupping his gloved hands together. In that uncanny way Van had, he knew I'd never mounted without at least a step. Feeling a mixture of emotions, I couldn't quite name I placed one of my booted feet in his open palms. Those deceptively lean arms tense and I'm boosted up ward as though I weigh nothing. Before I've settled all the way into the saddle he's jumped, and in a fluid motion landed behind me.
I've never ridden with another person before and it's a tight fit with all our bags and provisions. His presence is a warm force at my back, arms coming around me to take the reins. Heat burns my cheeks and I'm glad he can't see my face. Telling myself that it's only temporary. Just till we put enough distance between us and Allen's crew.
Neither of us speak as we head west towards the heart of Fanelia and the unknown danger Zaibach holds.
A/N- One Miet is thirty seconds and a measure of time used in the original series. So, ten miets is really only five minutes.
I honestly know very little about real Tarot Cards and found a site that gave a brief explanation of the cards. The four minor Archana I used was Hearts(cups), Swords, Staves(wands), and Coins. I decided to make the Ace of Serpents the Ace of Swords because of all the cards it fit Van the best. The two cards stuck together symbolized the two facets of Van's personality. On the surface he appeared to be one thing; someone seeking approval, but he was really a symbol of new beginnings. He was for Hitomi it least. Also, we see the tower come up warning Hitomi of the imminent separation from the rest of the party. You'll find out where the wheel of fortune takes them in the next chapter.
I did used the action of the death card coming up off the page like the series, but combined the reading she did for Allen. In this story she feels like reading the knight would be a bad thing, like prying into is secrets might not impress him. Instead she tries to read for Fanelia and gets the sign of death. The red eyes and laughter is Dilandau after all.
Keep tuned for more! I've got some really interesting things for this pair to run into soon. Please Review.