Disclaimer: I still don't speak Scots Gaelic nor Irish Gaeilge aside from a few words ( I do know slightly more Gaeilge though), so if my translations are wrong then blame Google Translate, not me. I also don't own any character that is not my own creation, obviously. Wish I did though. Could use the kind of money Star Wars rakes in. At this point I'm just too lazy to get rid of this disclaimer so it's staying despite getting my point across by now.
A/N: Sorry about the delay, I had computer troubles and got about ¾ of the way finished but then my laptop refused to open the file so I had to start all over again. I think you should all enjoy this one though.
Caibideil 18
Six months. Six months since Grievous had "disappeared" leaving only a note for his would-be "captors," at least according to the official story. Six months since the droid army mysteriously deactivated. Six months since Palpatine's disappearance. Six months since Padmé had become paralyzed and informed of her pregnancy. Six months since Dooku had seemed to drop off the face of the galaxy without a trace. Six months since the kidnapping of Gràinne McGuffin.
Anakin scratched at his beard, well scruff really. He had never been great at growing facial hair, something which Obi-Wan teased him relentlessly about, it was slow and patchy, but as time went on it slowly but surely became fuller, looking like a dishwater blonde version of Obi-Wan's, almost. He wasn't quite there yet but maybe in another year or two. He looked over to his wife, passed out in her hover chair, heavily pregnant and being monitored by some of the repurposed battle droids he had rebuilt. Even Dormé needed a break every now and again, and 3PO was nowhere near flexible or fast enough to do everything she needed, so he had taken the liberty of… okay stealing, some of the droids scheduled to be scrapped on Alderaan and made them into Padmé's personal medical staff. If he were a bragging man, and he most definitely was, he would say this was his finest work of machining, not that he'd ever say that in front of C-3PO, wouldn't want to hurt his feelings.
The twins were due any day now. He had been trying to calm his nerves by either building more droids or researching pregnancy and birth in quadriplegic patients when Padmé banned him from building after the twenty-third. It wasn't calming in the slightest, but at least he was learning something. He might need to build more droids. He watched Padmé sleeping peacefully, her first true bit of rest since the accident. She had managed to negotiate the Separatist worlds back into the Republic in exchange for massive concessions of autonomy for member worlds, increased representation, lowered taxes, and the dissolution of the megacorporations which dominated the outer rim. She had campaigned for these very things for years in fact and was eager to give them out. Granted, most the hawks in the Senate considered this a Separatist victory and he was inclined to agree but, he wasn't sure how else it could have ended… except Palpatine's way. He shuddered at the thought, preferring to think instead on Ahsoka's knighting ceremony. He had discussed it with Obi-Wan shortly after he had taken his seat on the Council to replace Ki-Adi Mundi. She had definitely earned it, despite Windu and some of the other more conservative Jedi wanting to have her expelled. For now the Reformists had a slight majority over the Orthodox on the Council, especially with Yoda continually abstaining from Council votes. Of course, that meant almost everything came down to a five to four vote, including the knighting of Padawans known to support one side or the other. Still, Ahsoka had earned her knighthood, through facing the horrors of war as a child to becoming the wise-beyond-her-years, strong, independent young woman she was today.
Anakin's commlink beeped; he smiled. "Speak of the devil," he chuckled quietly, getting up to go to another room where he answered it. Ahsoka was beaming, even bouncing on her heels. Had Obi-Wan let it slip? "Hey Snips! What's up?"
"Master! I have great news! You won't believe it!"
"Not much gets you this excited."
"Master, I'm pregnant! Two months!"
Anakin's smile dropped. "What?"
"I'm having a baby! Master, isn't this wonderful?"
"Uhm," Anakin cleared his throat, "Ahsoka… having a kid is… it's a lot of responsibility. Are you sure you can handle it? I'm not even sure I can handle it."
"Master, I have lots of experience with kids," Ahsoka replied while Anakin cringed, "I know how to take care of a baby."
"You have experience babysitting the creche. Having your own children is different. You can't just leave after a few hours shift."
"Master! I know that!" Ahsoka yelled defiantly, insulted he would even insinuate that's what he thought she thought parenting was like. "I'm going to be a mom, a great mom, why aren't you happy for me?!"
"I'm worried about you Ahsoka, and your kid! You're barely 17! Can you even have sex legally yet?!"
"I CAN ON ONDERON!" Ahsoka shouted, given that that was the planet she was currently on for "meditative retreat" which everyone knew meant Lux. Even Barriss teased her relentlessly about it, and she was having her entire private life suddenly being on the front page of supermarket tabloids following her relationship with Riyo Chuchi going public.
"Ahsoka, what I'm trying to say is that you are way too young to know what you're doing! I don't even know what I'm doing!"
"Uhm, Master Anakin," a battle droid interrupted.
"NOT NOW K3V1N!" he shouted
"Roger, Roger." Kevin slinked back into the hall.
"You've been panic building again, haven't you?"
"Shut up! My self-medication is not the topic of discussion right now!"
"I'm sure with an army of droids on hand even you can't screw up," Ahsoka snapped.
"Anakin, what the Kriff, why are you yelling?!" Padmé shouted, hovering into the hallway.
"You haven't even been together for as long as the pregnancy is going to last! You should have at least used protection!" Anakin yelled
"What does armor have to do with anything?!" Ahsoka asked.
That was when Anakin realized just how little Jedi Temple Sex Ed covered. That would definitely be something he'd discuss with Obi-Wan later. Not that the vote would likely go any differently than ever. Obi-Wan's deciding vote was missing for the next few days on a personal mission, and he was always the swing vote, so until he came back everything would be in deadlock.
"You don't even know if Lux is going to stay with you to take care of his own kids!"
"Anakin!" both Ahsoka and Padmé snapped.
"He will, and not because you and Master Plo keep threatening to murder him if he does anything wrong!" Ahsoka closed the call, scowling at her master.
"Anakin, what is going on with you?" Padmé demanded.
"She's not ready!"
"Well what would you have her do then?"
"Literally anything else! Abort, give it to the Temple, not get pregnant," Anakin shouted. "She has no idea what she's doing!"
"And you do?"
"NO PADMÉ! NO I DON'T THAT'S WHAT WORRIES ME!" he stormed past her, "I'm not having this argument right now."
"Anakin!" she called after him.
"K3v1n!" Anakin called, ignoring her.
"Yes Master Anakin?" the B-1 battle droid known as K3v1n, or "Kevin" answered.
"Feed Padmé, I'm going for a walk."
"Roger, Roger."
"Anakin!" It was too late, he already out the door.
Obi-Wan banged at the Twilight console. With everything going on, Anakin's manic repairs had been on everything except his ship. Was that oil leaking from the ceiling? He electrocuted himself again. What was Anakin doing in here to wreck it this badly?! If he didn't know better, he would almost suspect Anakin had been cannibalizing the Twilight to rebuild those battle droids he was obsessing over. Anakin was not prone to panic, at least not like a normal person, when he got nervous, he built things. One time when he was a Padawan he ended up building half a speeder bike from random garbage around the Temple when he was panicking over a theatre class recital. It actually worked too… before it blew up.
He was surprised that the old Rako Hardeen disguise still fit, considering the last time he had to undergo total reconstruction just to make it work. He shuddered at the memory. That was an experience he would gladly die before going through again. His commlink beeped. "Anakin," he said answering the call, "I thought I said to cover for me in the Council meetings. They can't know I'm here."
"Speaking of Council meetings, bit of an emergency topic when you get back."
"Anakin, this is hardly the time or place to,"
"Ahsoka's pregnant and she apparently didn't even know what birth control was."
That gave Obi-Wan pause, "Didn't you have this talk with her?!"
"I thought you did it!"
"Why would I give your Padawan the sex talk?"
"Well she said that she had already had the talk, and I assumed that you did it, since you were the only other person around to do it."
"Well if I didn't give her the talk, and you didn't give her the talk, then who did?"
THREE YEARS EARLIER
"And that, men, is how I spent my leave," Rex finished, much to the whooping and guffawing of the other clones.
"That's nothing Commander!" one heckled, "I got two Twi'lek girls at the same time!"
"Sure Fib," a third clone laughed, "And I slept with General Unduli." The rest of the group laughed.
"It's true!" Fib defended. Despite his name, he was quite the honest character and his tag had been given to him ironically.
Meanwhile Ahsoka stood a little ways away, tiny montrals darkening with every story and joke. "So that's how it works," she muttered, unaware that the clones had been designed to be sterile and resistant to all but the most aggressive of STIs.
PRESENT
"Whoever it was didn't have a clue what they were talking about!" Anakin declared, "What's worse is that now she won't even listen to me!"
"Well what did you say?"
"That she isn't responsible enough to have a baby."
"You talking about responsibility? Well I definitely needed to hear a good joke today."
"Very funny."
"Anakin, as much as I want to discuss this with you, I really must be prepared for this."
"Right. I'll work on the Ahsoka baby thing, you save your girlfriend."
"Anakin, she's not my… yes. May the Force be with you Anakin, you'll need it."
"Says the man about to wage a one-man war against a half a planet and two Sith who don't know how to die."
"Touché."
"Force be with you master."
Kenobi landed on Mandalore to break Satine out of prison and fall into Maul's trap.
That was when a second ship entered Mandalore's orbit, a Theta-class T-2c shuttle recently purchased by Count Dooku. He had learned his lesson after sleeping in that uncomfortable pilot's chair twice more with even more people aboard his solar sailor. Once when they went to Serrano, and once back to Talamh when he had learned of Sidious's escape and inferred his search for vengeance on them both for screwing up the Grand Plan as well as Grievous's betrayal. Learning his lesson, he purchased a much larger vessel under an assumed name. When you pay in cash, nobody asks for papers.
His apprentice Serpeness stood beside him, awed by the admittedly unremarkable planet of Mandalore. The girl still had much to learn about the galaxy. "So this is Mandalore?" she asked in a slight Coruscanti accent. She had learned how to drop her distinct Scottish accent when they travelled so as to avoid suspicions, although she still occasionally had the passerby ask if she was Ahsoka Tano-Bonteri. Dooku wasn't surprised that Skywalker's pet had married that annoying brat.
"It is."
"Master, it's beautiful, but…" here comes the endless questions, "What exactly are we doing here?"
"My mission is one of vengeance. Yours is to observe and stay alive."
"Aye Master," Serpeness submitted, slipping back to her Scottish accent for a fleeting moment.
"Maul killed my… old friend. I am here to take revenge for this sin. To exact proper justice."
He brought the ship down through the Mandalorian atmosphere. Serpeness had been advancing rapidly. He had taught her four of the seven lightsaber forms, granted with a steel blade instead of a lightsaber, and how to control her Force abilities, practicing on the robber barons who dared visit the western side of the McGuffin lands with almost no survivors. Unfortunately their favorite guinea pigs had learned to avoid their region. She was nowhere near a master yet though. That would definitely take over a decade. He remembered her lessons a few months ago when practicing Makashi, Form II:
"So when do I get one of those fire swords?" she had asked.
"A Sith's lightsaber is not given, it is taken. In tradition, you should kill a Jedi and take their blade."
"So you killed a Jedi with a red sword?"
"I've killed many Jedi, but a lightsaber crystal is almost never naturally red. It must be made to bleed. Now, again!"
Yes, fond memories. The ship landed with some Death Watch soldiers coming towards them. Dooku rolled his eyes. A minor inconvenience, he'd let Serpeness handle them. Lowering the ramp, the hooded pair walked towards the speeder conveniently sitting there with soon-to-be-dead owners.
"Halt!" one of the Death Watch guards declared before dropping his gun, clutching at his throat. Serpeness barely had to think about choking somebody now. They lazily waltzed past the dying men as Dooku started the speeder up and drove towards the palace.
Maul stared down Kenobi as he strangled the duchess, activating the darksaber. Had this idiot really tried to empathize with him? No, he was going to make Kenobi pay. "I'm not going to kill you, but I will make you suffer the pain I did." He didn't even notice the door opening, assuming the swish he barely heard to be more Death Watch. He pulled the Duchess towards his blade, terror in her eyes, at long last vengeance would be his! She was yanked off to the side, falling right onto Kenobi's face. "WHAT?!"
"As much as I want to take credit for that, I didn't do it." Obi-Wan answered with Satine's eyes locked behind him.
"He's right," Dooku answered, "My apprentice has proven herself to be quite powerful when it comes to breaking through the Force Shields of a savage animal."
The crimson blade of Tyrannus ignited as the two Sith Lords locked eyes, hatred in the human and confusion in the Zabrak. Was this pathetic old fool Maul's replacement? "Brother, be wary of Tyrannus, his power is greater than ours," Savage Oppress stated, activating his double-bladed lightsaber. Serpeness ignited her green blade in response, borrowed from her master's armory for the time being. She'd earn herself a pretty Sith blade, and she wanted the black one.
Obi-Wan looked around him, four Sith, three he obviously knew and one cloaked figure, a Togruta most likely given the shape of her montrals. He hoped that it wasn't Gràinne. Summoning his blue lightsaber to his hand he ignited the blade, defending Satine. He knew he was going to die today, but he would be damned if he would let anything happen to her first.
"Go Kenobi, this battle no longer concerns you."
"What?" Obi-Wan asked incredulously. Was Dooku going mad in his old age? Dementia-stricken perhaps?
"Just this once Kenobi, listen to me. Go, now. For Qui-Gon."
Obi-Wan's face lit up with realization, "You want revenge for the death of your old Padawan."
"GO!" Dooku ordered, "Before I change my mind."
Obi-Wan nodded as he ran Satine away from the throne room. Maul was shaking with fury at his long-awaited revenge slipping out of his fingers. Yelling in blind rage, he slashed at the old man before him, this Tyrannus, while Savage went to slice at the apprentice.
Dooku expertly parried the strike and the flurry of blows that followed while Serpeness took a Form I, Djem So, stance, blocking each of Savage's blades before swapping to Form III, Soresu, and slicing through his hilt. The large Zabrak yelled in pain as green mist flowed from the wound. Savage was injured, but he wasn't dead yet. Throwing away the saber in his left hand he swung at her again. She blocked with Form II. Savage's methods were slow, clumsy. More befitting an axman than a Sith warrior. She had little challenge past his physical size and strength.
"Just like the bandits," she whispered, Force Lightning shooting from her fingertips, sending Savage kneeling to the ground, shouting in agony.
"Brother!" Maul shouted, leaping back from Dooku and activating his second, red blade. Gràinne barely had time to react before a flash of blue blocked Maul's strike from decapitating her.
"Need a hand?" Kenobi asked the Sith apprentice, electing to ignore what he knew he saw under her hood. His disappointment was insurmountable. What had Dooku done to the poor girl? Had he murdered her family?
Serpeness smiled, the same sassy smile Ahsoka had, and she went in for the kill, running through Savage with ease. The green mist left his body in greater quantities as he shrank and his horns shortened. "Brother," he gasped, "I am an unworthy apprentice. I'm not like you… I never was," with his final words, he collapsed to the ground, dead.
Now Maul was infuriated and unleashed a whirlwind of blows at Kenobi and Dooku, who had rejoined the fray, in trying to kill Gràinne. As each hand locked blades with a different warrior, Gràinne unleashed a powerful storm of lightning at the Zabrak, causing his mechanical legs to short-circuit. Collapsing to his metal knees as Kenobi struck another blow. Dooku backed off and unleashed his own torrent of lightning. Maul held his blade lock with Kenobi, hatred burning in his eyes, but his hand dropped the darksaber, electing to use all his strength with one blade as he resisted the lightning and Kenobi.
Having enough, Maul Force Pushed the Sith and Jedi away from him, grabbing the Togruta's neck with the Force. She dropped her borrowed lightsaber as she instinctively grasped at her neck, eyes wide with fear as she looked to her master, who was stumbling to stand up and Kenobi who had been slammed into a wall unconscious. She darted her eyes wildly around as she looked for some way to escape. Then she saw the chandelier. Grabbing it with the Force she pulled it out of the ceiling, causing Maul to break concentration and drop her as he darted out of the way.
Coughing as she caught her breath, she grabbed a random lightsaber off the ground and activated it. Blue. Kenobi's. She readied in a Form IV stance and leapt in assault, Maul blocking her every airborne strike. She tried to use lightning against him, which he managed to block with his red blade. What he didn't block was Dooku's thrown saber, taking out his mechanical legs at the kneecaps, causing him to fall to the floor. Picking up the throne with the Force, Dooku smashed Maul's right arm with it, crushing any bones to dust as the Zabrak shrieked in anguish. Using his pain to strengthen his connection to the Dark Side, Maul reached out to grab the green lightsaber and pull it towards them, activating it as it careened towards Dooku's face. He only just managed to block as Maul summoned one of his fallen brother's blade halves to his hand and severed his own destroyed arm to try and escape. One more limb to replace with a machine.
At this point Kenobi had woken up, probably with a bad concussion, and grabbed the nearest lightsaber to him, the darksaber, and stumbled towards Maul. Satine was under the care of her sister at the moment, but he couldn't let Maul escape. Couldn't let him slaughter so many more people than he already had. Couldn't let him hurt Satine any more than he already had. More Death Watch soldiers charged in from the back entrance, wanting to protect their Manda'lor. Dooku was busy deflecting their blaster bolts. Obi-Wan could barely see straight, could barely walk straight, but Maul was injured, dismembered, and using his arm and metal thighs to try and hobble to safety. Kenobi clumsily swung the darksaber at Maul, who's exhausted, injured, dismembered form blocked it, hatred in his eyes but little else. Maul swung and Kenobi parried, only to stumble to the ground. He blocked as Maul swung, basically sitting on the ground. A blue blade ran through Maul's stomach. The Zabrak struggled to breathe.
As Dooku walked over, the snapped the last Mandalorian neck with the Force as he looked at Serpeness's handiwork. Igniting his blade, apparently the other half of Savage's lightsaber since he had lost his own when he was thrown back, he pulled back as Serpeness bowed out of the way. He brought the crimson blade down through Maul's body, a vertical bisection. He swung again to decapitate the still standing body, again, again, again, AGAIN! Maul was minced into at least twenty pieces by the time he was done. He breathed heavily, chuckling in his victory, before erupting into joyous, psychotic laughter. His rival to the title of Sith Lord was defeated, and the man who murdered his apprentice, his adoptive son, was finally dead.
Gràinne stood awkwardly glancing between the minced alien and the laughing lunatic. "Master?" she asked, "H-Have I earned my lightsaber?"
Dooku looked at her, and enveloped her in a hug, "Serpeness, Gràinne, my child. You have more than earned your saber. Go on, take your pick. Just give Kenobi's his back."
Smiling, she looked at Kenobi, dazed and confused on the floor. With an unceremonious plop she dropped his lightsaber back on his chest and took the darksaber. "I like the black one. It's pretty. Like me."
"Why?" Obi-Wan muttered, barely audible.
Dooku didn't even hear him and responded to Gràinne, "Should I have christened you Darth Conceited?" he joked. "Now, where did mine go? Ah! There it is," he declared, summoning it back to his belt.
He offered Obi-Wan a hand standing up and motioned for Gràinne to get his other side. Kenobi hobbled to the Mandalorians and his Duchess, a Jedi supported by two Sith. Laying him against the wall, leaning against Satine for support, Dooku ordered, "Get him out of here. There is little doubt the Republic clones will come to reestablish order and put the Duchess back on her throne."
"A duchess?!" Gràinne stated in shock, looking at Satine and offering a belated curtsy, "Milady."
Satine placed a hand on her cheek, "Thank you. You saved both of our lives. Mandalore will be forever in your debt."
"'Twas me pleasure," Gràinne replied with a humble smile, the smile only a poor peasant could give when praised by royalty and reverting to her natural, distinct Scottish accent.
Then Satine recognized, "Padawan Tano?"
"She's me sister. We don't get along."
"Come Serpeness. Our work here is finished." Dooku commanded. With that, the two Sith, Lord and Lady, activated their blades and effortlessly cut a path through the Death Watch towards their shuttle.
Dooku would never be seen in the wider galaxy again.
A/N 2: Alright so the next few chapters will be mostly politicking within the Jedi Order as it splits further and further apart while Padmé tries desperately to bring the Republic closer together. Will both institutions collapse under their own weight? Will Gràinne's training be completed in Secrecy? Where is Sidious? Stay tuned.