Caibideil 24
Luminara and Obi-Wan exited hyperspace landing at the landing pad just outside the monastery while a few people were waiting to greet them. The pair exited the starfighter to find their old Padawans at the forefront of the group, Anakin still trying to calm his kids.
"Aww, you must be the Skywalker twins!" Luminara cooed, "I've heard a lot about you. May I?" she asked, holding out her arms to hold a baby. Anakin passed her Leia, who actually stopped crying as Luminara held her against her chest. "You are just too beautiful," she tutted at the infant in her arms. Anakin was stunned and offered the still wailing Jinn, who Luminara gladly accepted. The twins both stopped crying as they listened to her heartbeat and she swayed back and forth. She smiled at the father, and said, "I have gotten to hold a lot of baby younglings over the years, yours are by far the most precious out of them all."
Anakin just nodded slowly, still dumbstruck as they had finally quieted down. He expected the screaming to start back as soon as she handed the babies back, but they didn't cry at all. Leia tugged at his beard with her chubby little fingers and Jinn tried to eat his own foot as he put them back in their carriers. Obi-Wan raised an impressed eyebrow at Anakin, who just shrugged in response. Who knew that Luminara was some baby whisperer.
She went over to Barriss, who immediately dragged her away chattering in Mirialan, "So, how did it go? Did you get to try flirting with him?"
"Barriss, stop it."
"You knew what you were getting into the second you told me. Come on! We're going into town and buying you a new dress!"
"What's wrong with the ones I have?"
"One, you have five of the same outfit. Two, we're talking about a date! Functional and combat-ready doesn't exactly scream 'sexy!'"
"Obi-Wan doesn't seem the type too drawn to women who scream 'sexy' Barriss."
"Oh, you sweet, naïve child," Barriss tutted.
"I am hardly a child, Padawan, I am thirty-five years old!"
"I'm sorry, who asked who for advice again?"
Luminara sighed, "Good point."
"Great! There's a few shops I'm going to take you to later!"
"Barriss, I only have twenty-seven credits."
"Oh, it's fine. I'll pay for it."
"How do you have so much disposable income?"
"Do you realize who I married? Besides, don't worry about price tags when it's a gift! For being a great Master."
Luminara gave her a half-smile. "Fine, when were you going to take me shopping?"
"As soon as you get your stuff settled in!"
"Bit rushed, aren't we?"
"Nah," Barriss answered.
"Say, where is everybody else? Ahsoka? Senator Chuchi? Master Ti?"
"Riyo had to go back to Coruscant with another government emergency, Ahsoka I haven't seen all day and she isn't answering any of my calls, and I think Master Ti is trying to recruit Orthodox Jedi who got kicked out, like you."
"Fun," Luminara replied sarcastically.
"Very."
"If you can show me to my quarters?"
"Right!" Barriss chirped, leading her up the stairwell to one of the few remaining unoccupied cells.
It was small, but slightly larger than her living quarters in the, now Orthodox, Temple. Two rooms, a sleeping area and a living/eating area, with a small refresher tucked in the corner with a shower, sink, and toilet. She even had a few windows and what looked like a balcony, her old home was an inner room and thus lacked any access to the outer walls or outside. She opened a drawer and placed her now somewhat wrinkled dresses, pants, and shirts inside it.
"Alright Barriss, I think I'm ready to go now."
"Great!" Barriss replied, seemingly overjoyed for whatever reason at the prospect of taking her old Master shopping. Luminara just hoped that she wouldn't take her somewhere too ridiculous or ridiculously expensive. She followed Barriss out to the impromptu parking deck for the handful of shared speeders when Ahsoka and Lux landed. "Ahsoka!" Barriss called, "I've been trying to call all day, what's-" she stopped, noticing that her friend was no longer showing pregnancy and her cheeked stained with tears. Ahsoka's eyes were bloodshot and she was slow to move, her arms and legs shaking. "Ahsoka… I'm so sorry."
Ahsoka just nodded slowly, choking back more tears as she slowly made her way towards the door, Lux half-supporting her and half-holding her up. Barriss went to her other side and when they finally reached the stairs, Lux just picked her up and cradled her because she was shaking too much to safely walk up the stairs. "Thank you Barriss," he said, "I think I've got it from here."
"Are you sure?"
"Think so."
Luminara put a hand on Barriss's shoulder, "Perhaps another time."
"No, it's fine," Barriss insisted, hesitation in her voice. "Besides, I doubt Ahsoka would want us to drop everything for her. You know how she is."
"That I do; stubborn as her Master that one, and selfless as Obi-Wan." Luminara sadly smiled, not even wanting to imagine the pain Ahsoka was going through.
Barriss raised an eyebrow, "'Obi-Wan?' Not 'Kenobi?'"
"Shut it. I wouldn't even know if the Reformist Order even has ranks like 'master' or 'knight.'"
"We do," she smirked.
"Shut it."
"I didn't say anything."
"We have a psychic link, remember? I could hear your inner giggling."
"Sorry, can't help it."
Luminara rolled her eyes and sat in the speeder while Barriss took her place in the driver's seat; together they flew off to the city of Inner Teth.
Serpeness had landed in Edinburgh and was received by a messenger from the royal court, if his clothes indicated anything. Her cultist bodyguards lowered their pikes but she ordered them to stay their hands. She wanted to know what this man had to say.
"Are you the Lady Serpeness our King has heard so much of?" he asked.
"Aye."
"The King requests your presence at your court to negotiate terms."
"Take me to him then."
Gràinne was led to the "palace," a rather simplistic castle that served more functionally than it did fashionably. The King's Guard saluted her with their pikes and her own retinue stood outside the castle facing them, their helmets painted to match her own facial markings and lekku. Being brought into the throne room, she instinctively removed her helmet to reveal her Togruta features to the court and genuflected out of respect. After all, William the Lion was the bravest King Scotland had had in decades, and most Scots loved or at least respected him. She could hear whispers among the courtiers including "Bana-bhuidseach, beathach ifrinn, diabhal adharcach," witch, hell beast, horned devil. Shaking from the memories, her scarred montrals aching from phantom stones, her lekku hurt from memories of being yanked, old burn marks seared from having hot coals or boiling water flung at her. Now, she had the power to stop it, to stop people from ever hurting her again.
Reaching out with the Force, she grabbed a whispering courtier's throat and pulled him to her. "Ma tha rudeigin agad ri ràdh mum dheidhinn, an uairsin abair e ri m 'aodann, mac galla," (trans: If you have something to say about me, then say it to my face, son of a bitch), she growled menacingly while the frightened courtesan grabbed at the invisible hand strangling him, trying his hardest to breathe.
"Lady Serpeness!" the King called, "Release him!"
Gràinne eyed the monarch before her, "As ye wish." The terrified man flopped to the floor, shaking and coughing, but still alive.
"I have a proposal for you should you be willing to hear it."'
"I'm listening."
"You've earned my respect and that of the peasantry by exterminating the bandits and overthrowing the more warlike clans. I assume that after you take over Scotland your plan is to invade the English, as they won't let their tributary go without a fight. So, in exchange for you leaving the rest of Scotland in peace and retaining my G-d-given birthright as King, I will swear fealty to you and your mysterious master. Together we can drive the English out of Scotland, out of Ireland, and all the way back to London. All of Britain will be ours."
Gràinne raised an eyebrow marking "Ours?"
"Yours, Britain will be yours, I will rule Scotland as your vassal lord."
Gràinne nodded, not really knowing how diplomacy worked but remembering enough of her late father's business negotiations to get an idea of how these things worked. "And as me master's vassal, ye shall be at his beck and call, and raise soldiers fir him should he so demand, aye?"
"Aye."
"I'll bring him to Edinburgh, so ye can swear fealty to him in person then."
"So be it," the King smiled, happy to avoid bloodshed as well as a few of the more rambunctious clans. If even half of the rumors he had heard of this witch-warrior were true, he would drive the English to the smoldering ruins of their kingdom in a week.
Luminara took one look at the dress her former Padawan held out for her and immediately declared, "Barriss, under no circumstances am I wearing that."
"Come on!" Barriss begged, "The whole point is to look good to a boy."
"There's a difference between 'eye candy' and 'my neckline reaches my crotch.'"
"It doesn't go that far! Belly button at lowest."
"No!"
"At least try it on."
"What is wrong with the ones I picked?"
"Master, they're the same thing you are wearing now but one is sparkly!"
"They are not what I'm wearing now!"
"Master, you literally grabbed the entire clearance rack, checked to make sure they were all black and all mediums, put the one that was dark grey back onto the clearance rack, went to the hats section, grabbed seven identical headdresses that look exactly like the one currently on your head, and came back."
"I have a particular style and I like it that way. Everything is neat and orderly, and having a uniform makes getting ready faster in the morning."
"You know, you do have options now; you don't have to wear the same thing every day."
"I want to though."
"We are looking for a date-night dress Master!"
"Obi-Wan knows what I normally wear?"
"Yes, and the goal is to make his jaw hit the floor, and also maybe the dress too."
"Barriss!"
"Well what do you think couples do?"
"Not on the first date!" Luminara's eyes widened in horrified realization, "Barriss, please tell me Senator Chuchi didn't take you to her bed immediately."
"We didn't have sex until we were both comfortable with it, that was about eight months into the relationship if I recall correctly. Also it was my bed first."
"My point exactly! And also too much information. Also how did you manage to smuggle her into the Temple?!"
"It's the Jedi Temple, just throw a cloak on somebody and they'll fit in. Remember the Bounty Hunter incident?"
"Oh, right. I've been trying to forget that that whole affair."
"Yeah. Oh, and just to let you know, Master Skywalker is talking about giving everybody a lanyard. Makes smuggling lovers in a bit harder but also keeps unwanted guests out."
"Makes sense to me," the older Jedi shrugged.
"Good, now put on the dress!" Barriss ordered.
"No!" Luminara protested, "I said no, and that is final!"
Obi-Wan knocked on Luminara's door. Chuckling, he thought "It's about time she paid off that bet." The door swished open and his eyes went wide. Luminara was wearing a sleeveless, wine-colored dress with a neckline that dipped far below what he had ever seen her wear, even her navel was exposed. She had an outie apparently. The dress was ankle length but had a cut on the side which revealed her left leg up to her mid-thigh. As far as he was aware, this was the most skin she had ever revealed unless she had gone on an undercover mission he didn't know of, and he had been on the Council for a while. She had ditched the headdress in favor of letting her wavy hair flow freely to her shoulders, clearly styled to look like it wasn't. He knew what her hair looked like normally though, and it wasn't naturally wavy. He blinked a few times to make sure this wasn't a hallucination and that he hadn't been drugged.
"Master Kenobi!" she smiled, tilting her head slightly, "Come in! Dinner should be ready in just a few minutes!" Turning around she revealed her dress to also have a low back, nowhere near as low as the front but low enough to reveal her shoulder blades and upper back, as well as a freckle she apparently had on her left shoulder. "Just sit at the table; I'll bring your plate out."
"How long have you had that dress?" he asked.
"Oh, this old thing? I just had it lying around," Luminara lied. After trying on literally everything else in that small boutique she had finally caved and tried on the dress Barriss kept throwing in her face. It was the only thing that both fit and wasn't exorbitantly expensive. And wasn't on clearance after Barriss explicitly banned her from going to that section again. Very explicitly, she didn't know her former student had such a… colorful vocabulary. "Go on! Sit down!"
Confused, Obi-Wan did exactly as he was told, clueless as to why she was putting so much effort into paying off a months-old debt to just feed him. He'd have been fine with a sandwich, and here she was with fish, pasta, mashed jandarra, meiloorun wine, and a spiced toast. He wasn't going to complain but he certainly wasn't expecting this either. There were even candles on the table. When Luminara sat down, she seemed to start blinking rapidly, almost psychotically smiling the whole time. "Are you alright?" the male Jedi Master asked, both out of concern for his colleague and also because if she was under some kind of possession the food may not be safe to eat.
"I'm fine," she answered. Was she trying to make her voice sound higher? Why?
"If you say so," Obi-Wan replied, disbelief saturating his voice. He took a bite of the fish and was taken aback for a few seconds, when had she learned to cook this well? "The fish is excellent!" he commented.
She giggled, when had she ever giggled?! And why was she constantly fiddling with her right ear? Was it hurting due to being infected? He had been having trouble with his sinuses getting used to the new climate himself so he could understand that. Satine had developed an annoying cough too from the unfamiliar types of pollen all in the air. Teth was great for isolation, not so much for heretofore unknown allergies. "Thank you, Obi-Wan."
"Obi-Wan?" Obi-Wan cocked and eyebrow as he lifted his glass, "You're not usually one to drop formalities, even in a casual setting." The wine was among the worst he had ever drank in his life, even Hondo's pirate brews were better than this garbage, not that he would ever say that out loud. Besides, free food and drink was free food and drink. At least the meal was excellent, although he might have to show her how to properly go wine shopping later.
"Well we're not in an extremely formal Order anymore, and we're friends, right?"
"Of course!" Obi-Wan replied waiting on her to turn around for a few seconds so as to pour his wine into the houseplant beside him. "We'll always be friends."
"Right," she chuckled, seemingly pained. Was it something he said? Or was she realizing her mistake with the wine? Her eyes widened and she exclaimed, "I forgot something, I'll be right back!"
"No rush," Obi-Wan replied, lifting his glass to her and watching her bolt into her bedroom. Sighing in relief he quickly dumped the wine onto the unfortunate plant.
"Barriss!" Luminara whispered into her earpiece, "What do I do?!"
"Have you tried the sand thing?" Barriss replied, " Anakin said that was how he managed to get Padmé."
"You know as well as I do that was a pity date! I mean seriously?! How would I even get that into the conversation?! He says 'We'll always be friends' and then I randomly start talking about how much I hate a particular type of dirt?! How does that go into any conversation?! Especially when I don't hate sand!"
"Just do it!"
Luminara groaned in frustration, "If this goes wrong, I'm blaming you." Turning to leave the room she saw Obi-Wan sitting at the table, taking a bit of the pasta and waving to her. She twiddled her fingers in response. His wine glass was already empty, he must have liked it. She wasn't really a fan but she also drank alcohol maybe twice before in her entire life so she had no idea what good wine was supposed to taste like.
"Get everything sorted?" Obi-Wan asked after swallowing his food.
"Yep," she squeaked. Damn this stupid high-voice thing. She sounded like a teenager again. "More wine?" she asked, perhaps a bit too loudly.
"NO!" Obi-Wan quickly answered, seeming to try and restrain himself from shouting. "Water's fine! Really! I, I have to drive later."
"Oh! Where are you going? Maybe we could go together?"
"I promised to take Satine dancing later," Obi-Wan lied. He was starting to get very uncomfortable and just wanted to leave but didn't want to be impolite.
"Oh! I wasn't aware you knew the Duchess," Luminara commented, thinking "I am so going to strangle Barriss later."
"Well I should certainly hope so, I married her two weeks ago."
"I'm sorry, you did what now?" Luminara blinked.
Obi-Wan could almost tangibly feel her brain breaking in half. Then it finally clicked. "Oh! You thought… OH. Oh I am so sorry. I, I, uhm. Wow, this is awkward."
"Yep," Luminara chirped.
On the other end of the earpiece Barriss knew she was going to painfully die the second her Master could make it look like an accident. "I swear I didn't know he was married!" she shouted into her earpiece.
She shouted loud enough for Obi-Wan to hear her ion the other end. "Was that Barriss?"
"Mm-hmm," Luminara nodded.
"She was giving you dating advice?"
"Well she told me to tell you I hate sand."
"Ah, so Anakin was her dating coach."
"Yep."
"Well, uhm, I-I should. Erm, I should probably go now, before this gets. Yeah." Obi-Wan muttered backing towards the door. Before walking out the door he added, "Oh! And erm, before I leave, I meant to tell you earlier but I, well, yeah. Anyway we had decided to make you a member of our new Council if you wanted to take the seat."
"That would be nice."
"Great! Erm, well. Uhm, ssssssee you Taungsday then! Hehehe," Obi-Wan smiled awkwardly. This was probably the most embarrassing position he had ever found himself in in his life, and that included going undercover in an illegal brothel… and not as a customer.
"Looking forward to it," Luminara replied, teeth clenched and her voice clearly pained.
"Right. Uhm, well. Good… night… then."
"Good night."
Luminara sat in silence for a few minutes before Barriss asked, "I'm going to be murdered, aren't I?"
Luminara turned off the earpiece, stood up, blew out the candles on the table, placed her and Obi-Wan's dishes in the little sink, walked into her bedroom, flopped onto the pillow, and just screamed.