As requested by LapisDIDNOTHINGwrong101
Three long years had passed since Ozai had made the joke that had cost him his son. He gazed sadly at a photo of Zuko's beautiful, innocent face with no scar on it that he had sitting in his office.
Without any warning, somebody kicked through the door like the beginning of the timeless masterpiece that is the first Shrek movie.
"Father, I have captured the avatar!" Zuko announced. "Where's my Xbox?" He turned to the bald little kid lingering behind him. "Oh, yeah, Aang, meet my dad, and Dad, this is Aang. Where's my Xbox?" he repeated obnoxiously.
"Nice to meet you, Mister Fire Lord," Aang said pleasantly.
It was a all little much for Ozai to process at once. Firstly, he was disappointed that his beloved firstborn, whom he hadn't seen in three years — three years he had spent diverting significant resources from the war effort and into finding his son, three years worrying if Zuko would ever come home, three years crying himself to sleep — he was disappointed that Zuko cared more about reuniting with his Xbox than with his own father.
Secondly, Zuko had deadass caught the avatar simply because Ozai had made a joke about it. It made his heart (which was very much not cold and dead) swell with pride and affection (although he loved his son no matter what happened). Not to mention that the avatar didn't even seem to mind being about as deep in enemy territory as was physically possible.
Thirdly, he didn't think he had it in him to tell Zuko what had happened to his Xbox.
"Can I have it back now?" Zuko barked impatiently.
"I, uh… I let your sister use it," Ozai said quietly. "And… and she broke it."
Zuko's eyes began to fill with tears. "N-Nothing that can't be fixed, right? We can just… take it to the shop?"
"She kind of… set it on fire."
"She set it on fire?!" Zuko burst out, gearing up for the temper tantrum of the ages.
"I'll get you a new one! I'll, I'll get you an Ouya!" Ozai tried desperately to placate his son.
"Ouya is dead, Dad! If you really loved me, you'd buy me a PlayStation! You don't know anything! You don't understand me!"
As Zuko ran away sobbing, Ozai and Aang awkwardly stared at each other in silence until Ozai finally spoke. "So, uh… an airbender. I've never met one of those before…" He laughed nervously as he realized that he had maneuvered himself into a bad spot. "Guess that's because… we killed you all." He scratched his head and looked anywhere other than into Aang's impenetrable gaze. "Yeah. Sorry about that."
He cleared his throat. "Look, uh, I know you're 'destined to defeat me' or whatever, but you're a lot younger than I expected, so why don't you just go home? …Right, because everyone at home is dead. That's why. What I mean to say is that I want it to be fair when we… fight. Probably to the death."
Aang stared at him impassively.
"Or I don't want to be humiliated by losing a battle to a child. It could go that way too," he offered.
Aang still said nothing, staring into his soul (which he definitely had).
"Listen, kid, just leave!" Ozai shouted. "There's no place for you here! Go master all the elements, or whatever it is that you're supposed to do!"
"I wanted to play Xbox with Zuko," Aang said.
Ozai sighed, so close to losing it. "All right. Fine. I'll buy Zuko a new Xbox. And you can stay here and play it with him."
All in all, Ozai decided, things hadn't turned out as badly as they could have. If he won the avatar over to their side, then he wouldn't have to harm a child (which was just such an abhorrent idea to him) in some sort of deadly final battle.
And best of all, Zuko was home, alive and healthy. Even if he was an ungrateful little shit.