A/N: There is a pun in this chapter. I don't normally go for them, but hehe. Too much to resist.

"Uhy" is pronounced exactly like "Why," just with an "oo" sound at the front. "Vien" is pronounced somewhere between "vee-en" and "vyen."

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They ate lunch back in the base. Spinning the coin of life and death was enough for one walk. There was no need to push themselves.

Their lunch was ramen. Kakashi let Tomoda poke at it on his own. Would he finally be able to feed himself? Would he be able to recognize the food as exotic? What kind of eating utensils would he reach for? Kakashi had never been so excited about such a mundane thing. Then again, with a person from another time and culture, eating was no longer mundane. It would be nice if there were others like him, others who lived in different ways. How many ways can people live?

Tomoda gently touched the side of his bowl, moving his fingers as if he was exploring the material it was made of. Kakashi ate his from the cup it came in, but for his brother who might not know how to handle a delicate cup, he had provided a solid and sturdy bowl. Tomoda's mouth opened as part of his eating program, apparently from the smell. He closed it again and blinked. Kakashi sensed him trying to figure things out.

After a while, when he had finished his own ramen, Kakashi asked, "Do you want chopsticks?"

Tomoda looked up at him. His eyes focused. Kakashi's heart leaped. He's aware of me! But then, as he really should have expected by now, Tomoda began to whimper. The boy pulled his hand back and leaned backward, eyes fixed on Kakashi's dark vest.

Kakashi sighed. Damn, this again… He got up and cleared away the few things they had used for lunch. It didn't take long to throw his cup in the trash and rinse off the chopsticks. As he put the chopsticks in a cup to dry, he heard Tomoda stop whimpering. He returned to the low table and sat where he had sat before.

The boy stared at him. There was great turmoil in his soul. I wonder what form his thoughts take? Are they just images? Memories? Or maybe they're just feelings? Maybe his thoughts are so indistinct he couldn't say what they were even if he could speak. Or maybe he doesn't know he's thinking at all. Kakashi stared back, fascinated.

"U be ye?" Tomoda whispered.

That's the question he asked me when he first saw my vest and became afraid, before he knew why he was afraid. I thought he was asking a situationally appropriate question. But he's only recently become aware of me. What is this question? Is it a fragment of a memory? Kakashi had no idea how to answer. If the question was not really a question, perhaps he shouldn't answer it at all?

Tomoda narrowed his eyes in a way that did not suit his face. "Uhy? Thu friend be? Heh." His voice took on a tone that sounded oddly familiar. Kakashi realized it was similar to the ambiguously flirtatious/threatening tone Orochimaru often used. "Know thu thy shma size? Shma. Sof. New. As fruit di tree, di vien. Sof an good of taste." Tomoda's lips flicked upward, but he could not entirely pull off the leer the demon must have given him. Kakashi was just as glad. This was horrifying enough.

I've heard enough. I have to stop this. "Ya, thu friend be," he said. "Thu no shma. No good of taste. No as fruit. Thu…um…strong. As…stone di…mont?" I must be getting words wrong. "Thu friend da. Tomoda. Friend."

Tomoda looked confused, just like he had the last time Kakashi contradicted his memories. "Shma…" Thank the gods, he was speaking in his own voice again. That was all anyone could ask for.

Kakashi shook his head. "No."

Tomoda blinked at him. "...Katta?"

Kakashi smiled. "Ya."

Tomoda's eyes were now fixed on his face. They moved down to the vest. Back up to the face. "Huh?"

Kakashi chuckled. "You are capable of seeing me multiple ways now?"

Tomoda continued to look confused. Kakashi remembered that he was supposed to be eating. He picked up the bowl and held it under Tomoda's nose. "You're not getting out of lunch that easily." Tomoda appeared to be much too busy thinking of other things, so Kakashi fed him for what he hoped would be the last time.

After the kitchen was pristine, Kakashi did another daring, incautious, frankly quite reckless thing. He showed Tomoda exactly what it meant that he, Kakashi, was a demon. First, he took the boy back outside to the garden. They stood across from each other next to the plants. "I am a demon," he told the boy. "Daman da. I am exactly the same kind of being as the one who killed your parents. As u… hm…" Crap I only know the present and future tense, not the past except for Ni "...was kill thy katta? But I am not like that demon. He was a monster. I will be kind to you. Hmm… No as daman da. No kill. Friend be."

"Huh?"

Kakashi nodded. "Your confusion is understandable. I wouldn't believe it either."

He then proceeded to give Tomoda a practical demon-stration. "As you know, demons like myself have the power to use darkness." He held out his hand and poured out a ball of darkness. "This darkness can do many things. It can be a sheet or a brick, solid or liquid or gas, smooth or rough, hot or cold." He demonstrated each as he said it. "I can use it to make objects, or animals." He made a wolf. "I can use it to change my own shape, too. Not directly - I have to surround my body with it." He transformed into a dragon. "Any questions?"

Tomoda was whimpering again, so Kakashi absorbed his darkness and returned to his regular form. Tomoda continued to whimper. But he wasn't running away, so it qualified as an improvement. "These powers don't have to be used for evil," Kakashi said. "Let me show you what good they can do." He transformed into a giant bird, scooped Tomoda up onto his back, and strapped the boy's legs and arms into riding position. Kakashi cawed once, then leaped into the air.

They soared up, up, above the tops of the trees and off in an uninhabited direction. Kakashi gently meandered from side to side, swooped low, then rose up again. The point was to show his little brother how not dangerous he could be, so a gentle flight was best. Kakashi climbed, slowly, at a very gentle angle, up to the clouds. It took a while to reach that height, but Tomoda did not start screaming, so it was good. He flew straight through one cloud, then found a large streaky one to fly above for its whole length. It reminded him of a river made of mist.

He then descended from the clouds, slowly, at a gentle angle, making lots of turns to take a look at the wide world spread out below them. It was like floating on his wings. Kakashi didn't even notice time passing. It was no time at all before they landed in the garden. He lifted Tomoda off his back and set him down, then returned to his regular form.

Tomoda was smiling. Kakashi smiled back. Nothing needed to be said. Flying was a great way to make anyone less afraid of anything.

"Come on. Allow me to introduce you to my favorite book series."

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Kakashi lay the book down in his lap and leaned back against the stone coils of the snake goddess. He watched the shadows dance on the ceiling, and sighed. "I miss Jiraiya. He was a kind man. I always wanted to be a little like him."

Tomoda made a sad noise. Kakashi allowed himself to believe that the boy was reacting to the sadness in his voice. "Yeah. I never wrote him a fan letter. Now I couldn't if I wanted to, and for the first time in my life I'm thinking about doing so. Why does that always happen?"

Tomoda yawned. He reached out and wrapped his arms around Kakashi, who froze in surprise. He pulled himself closer and settled his head into Kakashi's shoulder, closed his eyes and went to sleep. Kakashi held him back and stared down at him. His first thought was, This must be a very normal way of sleeping for him. His second thought was, And now it is for me, too. When did I get so used to this closeness? Cuddling with a human being was not something he had had experience with in his previous life as a ninja, aside from Orochimaru's covert visitations as Tsukina. Now when he woke up on the floor with a person on top of him, he wondered why he was on the floor.

Kakashi made a dark clone to procure him some food. He closed his eyes and listened to the little snake's breathing. After a while, he realized that his eyelids were firmly fastened shut. He put in the effort to crack one of them open so he could reach out to the candles that illuminated the room. The flames leaped off their wicks and braided together into a liquid. He swallowed it and developed a momentary urge to purr, which passed before he could give in to it. He had only been raised by cats a very short time, after all. That was the last thing he thought about before drifting off.

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The next morning, he woke up to find that Tomoda was gone.

From his side, at least. The young snake was only a couple meters away, embracing the snout of the stone snake. He faintly murmured something that might have been, "Mama."

Kakashi watched this while he ate the food the dark clone had left in a bag next to him. It was as fascinating as any play. Are they communicating? If so, what are they saying? He wished he could sense divinity.

Eventually, Tomoda patted her snout and sat up. Kakashi marveled at the difference in his abilities. Not long ago, he'd been unable to stop walking when presented with a literal stone wall. Kakashi tried again to address him like any other person. He did not take the young snake's hand and tug it to make him follow. Instead, he sat next to him and asked, "So, what do you want to do today? My schedule's clear."

Tomoda frowned. Kakashi sensed another blockage. He tugged the snake's hand, got him walking. The blockage resolved. Tomoda led him down the hallway. Then he paused. The blockage hadn't returned; he merely seemed unsure of where to go. "Of course, of course. You don't know your way around yet." Kakashi took him outside the base. They stood just in front of the entrance. "Now where do you want to go? Back inside, or somewhere out here?" Most likely outside, where the plants are. Mah, I hope he doesn't want to go far. I can't explain to him why we have to stay hidden.

Tomoda walked into the forest like he had the day before. Kakashi followed. The young snake did not use his powers. He just walked, in a direction that Kakashi was glad to remember there were no people in. Their path meandered; now that Tomoda had the ability to recognize things outside of himself and his memories, he used it relentlessly. They took a 90-degree turn to follow a butterfly, then another when a bit of wind made noise in some trees to their left. Some of the turns he took appeared to be based on a spot of bright sunlight. Anytime there was something to notice, Tomoda turned toward it. He came to a stop in front of a fallen log that looked very attractive, good to sit on or play around.

"Good choice," Kakashi said. "We can sit here, rest a bit."

Tomoda tilted his head. He knelt down. Kakashi saw now that he was not looking at the log, but beneath it and sometimes around it. What is he looking at?

Tomoda reached out a hand, placed it on the log. Then he destroyed the log. With just a minor glow, the log rotted away into dirt in seconds. Kakashi's eyes widened as he saw fungi and flowers similar to those around the log sprout up through its remains. Both looked quite nice. He was looking at the flora around it and planning for the future?!

The boy was quite content with what he had done. He hummed a single note, head swaying from side to side. Kakashi knelt next to him. Amazing. He must be relearning things he did often in his previous life much faster than other things. Are serpents usually taught to see the natural world this way so that they can cultivate it? I mean, were they? So much would have been different if Orochimaru had had a place he belonged. Who knows what life he would have had…

This thought reminded him that Orochimaru should be reaching Konoha within the next few hours. Kakashi's heart leaped at the thought. He hoped Orochimaru would not be arrested. Mah, don't be silly. He snuck into Konoha before, at the Chunin Exams, when there was increased ANBU supervision because of all the foreigners, and was completely unnoticed. Relax. He'll be just fine. Kakashi reminded himself that if there was an emergency, Orochimaru had the bone. Stop worrying. You are a demon. Few things in this world can happen without your permission. He is not allowed to be hurt.

Kakashi reached out and wound his darkness among the new plants and mushrooms. Tomoda stopped humming. Gently, making no sudden movements, Kakashi piled the new log-mulch around the bases of the plants and mixed it into the soil with a degree of precision that fingers could not have achieved. When he withdrew his darkness, it was obvious that the new growth had not been harmed. "You see?" he asked. "Darkness does not have to be bad. It can do more than kill."

He thought Tomoda did already understand that. The boy had not started whimpering this time. His fear was fading fast. I would have thought an experience that traumatic would always stay with him. I would have thought he would never be able to see undisguised darkness without flinching, no matter how comfortable he tried to be. Maybe he will flinch in the future when his mind is coherent enough to hold onto things that way. It's easy for him to forget now. The way Tomoda returned to humming his single-note tune should have been happy. Instead, it made Kakashi sad. This won't last. He accepts me only because he doesn't have the ability to do anything else.

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Kakashi led Tomoda around the base that afternoon, trying to teach him how to navigate. He was going to be pacing the halls in anxiety anyway, so he might as well get some use out of it. His attempt to make himself feel like master of the world had not worked. A significant part of him was happy that it had not worked. If he could make himself believe that, then what else could he make himself believe? If he could truly believe that the world was his to command, what could he do to it? It was safer not to believe, safer to doubt, safer to pace the halls anxiously, safer to feel unsafe.

He had no idea if Tomoda was capable of learning this, and he didn't care. As long as the young snake did not look absolutely bewildered or start falling asleep, he continued. They ended up back in the kitchen. "Any questions?"

The boy blinked. Kakashi hadn't expected him to answer. He rubbed his hands together and sighed. "Well, there's no point in hiding it. You must have noticed that I'm worried about something." He led the boy back to the room with the serpent goddess. He lit the nearest candles, and they sat on her coils again. "I'm worried about your big brother. I know there's no need for me to be, but I can't help it."

He described his and Orochimaru's past history with Konoha, the way that ninja villages typically treated their ninja, what it meant to be a missing nin. "I know he's been a missing nin for a long time," Kakashi said, "so he's used to all of this. But I'm not. I can't help but wonder…"

Is this what my concern is really about? Myself, and not Orochimaru as I thought? "If I met someone from Konoha that I cared about, it would not go well. They would try to take me back. We would have an all-out battle in which they tried to incapacitate me. If I was in the village at the time, they would send a signal calling for others to come and help arrest me." He shook his head. "I will never want to go back. I have strong reasons to be here. But nobody can understand my reasons. Nobody would listen to me try to explain. If I met someone I had cared about, they would treat me as a monster. The bond between us would be broken. And there would be nothing I could do to fix that." Kakashi drew his knees up and curled around them. "Orochimaru seems to think he'll get a different reception. But I can't believe it. I can't believe that he would be treated any differently than I would be."

Tomoda was a very patient listener. Kakashi had no idea if he was really listening or not and was sure he could not understand a word if he was. Even so, it was nice to speak his concerns aloud. Kakashi had not realized before that his worry for Orochimaru had anything to do with his fears for himself.

"That's just how it is as a demon," he said. "As a demon, I am out of step with everyone and everything around me. I'm different in a way that no amount of trying to understand can ever resolve. No bridge can be built. I will always and forever be misunderstood, if anyone makes the effort to try to understand at all. Most people won't. Most people don't. I can try to build meaningful connections with those around me, and be haunted by a persistent feeling of being two steps behind." He hesitated. What he had to say next might not sit so well with someone who had been so terribly hurt by a demon in the past. "Or I could lean into my difference. Show it off, take pride in it, convince myself that I enjoy it and never wanted anything else. I understand why other demons became the way they are. How else can you exist in a world you don't belong in, except by trying to take it over? If you are like nobody else, then be better than everyone else. Revel in the fact that nobody can understand you or match you. Pretend those are good things. I can understand it. I never want to be that way, but I can understand."

Tomoda was still being a patient listener. That's the best I can hope for. What else would he do? Sincerely understand and empathize? I already know that's impossible. Kakashi closed his eyes and let himself feel very, very sad for a moment.

Just a moment. He knew the dangers of sinking down and wallowing in self-pity all too well. He opened his eyes and forced himself to raise his chin. "But that's just how life is. Philosophers have written all about this. Eternal loneliness is part of the human condition. As long as we are alive, as long as our souls are imprisoned within these shells, we can never really be known. Everyone lives this way, and everyone finds their own ways to be happy." He forced a smile. "I can do it too."

But not everyone lives this way, his thoughts whispered. I really am fundamentally different from everyone else. I don't belong here. This is not my home and these are not my people.

"I'm not really so different from everyone else. There are others who have felt this way."

But I feel it all the time. Isn't there a reason for that?

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head. "Mah, I'm boring you, aren't I? You didn't ask to hear all about my personal insecurities."

"Mm." Tomoda made a sound that probably didn't have any meaning at all. He looked at Kakashi and sat still as if he was listening, but there was no way he had really understood the message. It occurred to Kakashi that everybody he had ever interacted with was the same way. Every time he tried to speak, the message got lost and was never found. Tears sprang to his eyes. So this was how his life was: he effectively lived in a world of comatose young men who only half existed, with himself as the only real existence. This is not my home, and these are not my people. He rubbed his eyes in case Tomoda was aware enough to be upset by the sight of someone else's tears, which he probably wasn't, but Kakashi would rather pretend he was.

Suddenly, he remembered the angels. They were stronger than anyone else. Their capacity to forge bonds was greater than anyone else's, and they were emotionally capable of handling greater burdens than others. Could an angel help him now? Kakashi activated demon vision and felt around for his dark clone, the one in the shape of a dog. He found it. The clone was far away, but manipulating the fabric of reality in order to send a message to it was still possible. Kakashi bundled up everything he had just thought and felt and sent it to the clone. The resulting frame was more of a small dragon than a simple frame and it was probably dog-sized itself. But he did not worry, because he had complete faith in the angels. They were strong. They were capable. Purple would be able to do something.

While he waited for his clone to relay everything and the angel to think of a good response, Kakashi decided to do some minor chores. He was suddenly filled with energy. The existence of someone who he believed could help had filled him with hope and revitalized his every step. After remembering the angels, he felt reborn. "Come with me," he said to Tomoda. "I have to tell you about the angels. You weren't awake at the time, so you wouldn't remember them." He took the snake's hand and had him follow as he went around the base again, this time with a dust cloth and polish. He wasn't even close to finished describing how wonderful they were and how they had changed his life when the dog-sized dragon reappeared. Kakashi smiled and reabsorbed it gladly.

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The clone staggered under the weight of the memories it had just received. It whined, the closest its dog vocal cords could do for a sob. Purple whirled around. They were in his cabin aboard the ship. "Dog? What is wrong?"

The dog looked up at him, shook its head, and transformed. Using the extra darkness it had received, it took the form of an ordinary dark clone. The clone sat on the floor and tried not to cry. "I was just…I mean, my original was just…we're so lonely." The clone repeated everything Kakashi had said about how he felt, as close to word for word as he could. Then he described Kakashi's thoughts. When he finished, tears were streaming down Purple's face.

The first thing Purple did was give him a hug. He said nothing. The clone's own memories began to come back, and it remembered that not speaking was best. Words were packages, the meaning contained within its own shell just like his soul was contained in a body. Words could not penetrate shells when they were shells themselves. Only movement and smell and touch could. The clone knew his original had forgotten that.

Purple eventually pulled back and sat down across from the clone. "That is sorry," he said. "No power-feeling."

The clone nodded. "What can I do? If I could just stop feeling this way -"

"No," Purple said. "No stopping."

"But it's too much. This feeling is too strong." The clone remembered having read books on how to die and fantasizing about it in their childhood. That was the definition of "too strong."

"No. You strong."

"I need help!"

Purple grabbed him and held onto him. The clone's every instincts said to scratch and claw for a better grip, a surer hold, anything, anything to keep from sinking. He knew this was the common response of every drowning person, and more often than not did nothing but endanger the rescuer and lead them both to their deaths. So he forced himself to hold still and let Purple find a surer grip. "How - how can I - be as strong as you?" he sobbed.

Purple squeezed him tighter. The clone buried its face in his shoulder and let the sobs rack its chest, throw it back and forth like a ringing bell. Perhaps in this wordless way, the pain could break through Purple's shell and the angel could take it and process it and Kakashi would be free of it.

That did not happen. Instead, something else happened. The clone eventually ran out of the strength to sob and collapsed against Purple's chest. It felt drained. But then, it did not. It began to feel warm. The feeling was much like swallowing fire; something warm was starting to fill the empty space where pain had just been. The clone squeezed its eyes shut and encouraged it. Little by little, he felt stronger and more capable. The feeling was the same, but it was no longer overwhelming. He could take it.

He pulled back. "How did you do that?"

Purple shrugged. "No knowledge. Strength has mysteries."

"Do you know how to use its mysteries? Can you teach me?"

Purple shrugged again. "My understanding is of strength giving. No knowledge of sources. Ask captain?"

The clone nodded. It transformed into a dog again, making its darkness extra dense, and they went to see the captain. The captain was busy looking through records. "Ah, Purple. What say?"

Purple gestured to the clone. "Dark one asks of strength, of sources. No knowledge of sources. Where is strength born?"

The captain looked down at the dog. "Strength is not born. It is carried in the earth and can be absorbed from there."

Really? As soon as the captain said it, the clone knew it was true. The captain had perfectly stated a feeling he'd had all his life but had never known existed. Of course! That was exactly how it was. He borrowed strength from the land around him. That was why touching things like stone and dirt directly with his hand had always felt good. So many things made sense now that this feeling had been put into the perfect words. The dog woofed and wagged its tail to show it understood.

"Lightbringers absorb better?" Purple asked. He seemed to immediately understand too.

"Yes."

Purple grinned. He looked down at the dog. "Good?" The clone nodded. Purple glowed with pride.

The dog licked his hand, then activated demon vision and left normal reality for a bit in order to send the extra darkness back where it came from.

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Kakashi's breath rushed out of him. Wow. Those words are perfect. I've never heard words so perfect. He felt stronger already. He also felt very proud of himself for having intuited the perfect thing to do even before receiving the angel's answer. Kakashi went back to dusting and polishing, handling materials in his hands and leaving a tangible mark on the world. Strength poured in from all sources, even the specimen jars. Hmm. I never asked what to do if one's absorbing ability is blocked. Do I just wait out the blockage, or is there a way to dislodge it?

That, he decided, was a question for another time.

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A/N: I only just now, while writing this chapter, realized why I for so long had a pattern where I would take my favorite show, begin to make mental fanfics of it, and inevitably turn my favorite character into a sociopath with godlike powers. Every time. Kakashi is the last in a line of characters I've done that to, before there was a major shift and I started to imagine characters that were people. I have never been able to explain why I made characters into overpowered sociopaths, or why I stopped doing that. Until now.

Turns out it's because overpowered sociopaths were relatable to me. Everything Kakashi has to say about what it's like to be a demon is exactly what I've always felt. I've long suspected I'm autistic or something similar; I have never felt like I had anything in common with or functioned remotely the same way as people my same age. And yes, I always did take pride in that. Other people are just so far behind me. I have nothing in common with them because I'm just so much more advanced. Smarter, more mature. Those were my thoughts. And as for the sociopaths, well, around age 12 or 13 I entered a years-long period of chronic dissociation where I constantly felt as if the world and myself were not real. I was disconnected from myself. My self still existed - I still displayed happiness and interacted with people and behaved in all the ways I'd grown accustomed to. I just felt as if I was an outside observer of all those things, that my body was running on automatic without me. I couldn't feel the emotions I displayed. I wondered if I didn't have emotions, and read books on sociopaths to see if maybe that was what I was. I thought I had no empathy because I felt nothing when I heard about other people in pain. I couldn't feel much of anything in general, and other people's claims of being in pain did not feel real.

When the pattern changed and I began to imagine characters that were real people and not godlike sociopaths, it had been a little over a year since this shell of dissociation started to crack. First someone's claim that they had vomited when I said something hurtful struck me as real when no amount of "You're really upsetting me" had been real before then, and I spent the next half hour honest to goodness feeling pain. Then I started to think of things I wanted, things that might be important to me. That's why Kakashi is not a sociopath in the current version of this story - I started out thinking of him that way, but halfway through the shell began to crack and I started to infuse his character with actual emotions. Then, a little over a year after that first moment of pain, I had a dream for a whole new story that I had never thought of before, with characters I had not used before and therefore had not made into godlike sociopaths the least little bit. My chance to start over, make a new pattern. That's where New Life came from. I had the dream for it just as I was beginning to reconnect with my emotions and suspect that maybe, possibly, I might be curious about having a social life after all. Of course I would never need a social life, but, you know, it looks kinda interesting. That's where I was when New Life started, and so I only ended up with one character who's kind of overpowered, but in a social way that helps him get along with others instead of stops him, and is not at all a sociopath.

I can't believe I did not see this connection until now. Huh. So this is how writing works for me... I can't wait to see what kinds of characters I come up with in the future. Perhaps future characters will not be the most powerful people in the setting like all the past ones have. That would be cool.