Chapter 14 - Leaving
The doctors released Agent Hill the next morning, but insisted on keeping Lachlan, which proved inconvenient. Maria's quarters on base (and those of many other personnel) had been destroyed in the attack, leaving her and Loki with nowhere to stay— not that the prince could be convinced to step one foot out of the hospital without their son.
After feeding the baby, Maria left Lachlan in Loki and the nurses' capable hands to run some errands. Her first stop was a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility where a secure locker held her back up identification, credit cards, cash, a spare phone and a gun. After pocketing everything else, she considered the weapon before setting it back inside the compartment. Someday she would come back for it.
Maria walked from the storage site, planning to hail a cab in another block or so, when a black SUV with tinted windows whipped around the corner in front of her. She slowed her pace, drawing her main phone from her pocket when the car pulled to the side and parked. The passenger door opened to reveal Sam Wilson.
Falcon flashed her a grin, stepping from the vehicle and holding out his arms as she sauntered up to share a quick embrace.
A glance into the car revealed James Rhodes behind the wheel, also smiling.
"You two looking for me?"
"Hell yes," Rhodey answered. "First we hear you've been shot. Then that you've had the baby. Now you're checked out of the hospital. Damn, woman. Slow down."
Maria chuckled. "The doctors kicked me out, and I'm kinda homeless at the moment. So, I thought I should get some shit done, you know?"
Sam nodded, his uncertain gaze drifting toward Rhodey.
"Yeah, about that…" He stalled, the words trapped somewhere along the path from his brain to tongue.
Whatever the issue, she didn't have the time or patience for it.
"What? Spit it out."
"Take a ride with us," Sam requested. "We'll drive wherever you need to go."
They were going to piss her off. Maria just knew it. Not a good reason to delay the inevitable though. She climbed into the open front seat, pulling on the belt while Sam shut her door and scrambled in behind.
"Where to?" Rhodey asked.
Maria shrugged. "The mall— any mall. I don't care. We need clothes. Lachlan's got a bigger wardrobe than Loki or I do right now."
Rhodey got them moving. "A baby's a big change," he said, sounding like a wise, old sage sharing a revolutionary concept.
Did he think Maria carried the kid around for thirty-three weeks and didn't ponder every way he'd impact her life? For hell's sake, she had a plan in place for December when the baby was supposed to be born. Even if he'd come sometime in mid to late November, she'd have been ready, but October 2nd was just too little notice, especially when an intergalactic tyrant showed up on their doorstep like the Big Bad Wolf to blow the house down.
"Yeah. What's your point?"
Sam leaned through the gap between the seats so he could look her in the eye.
"We all know you're tough and super-organized and stuff. The team just thinks that— considering everything— you could use some help."
"What kind of help?"
Maria assumed she would hate whatever came out of his mouth next since her version of everything not only included a newborn but Loki Odinson too.
"There's plenty of room at the compound," Sam began, "for the crib and anything else the kid will need. And babysitters. All you could ever want so you're not missing out on sleep or mommy alone time or whatever."
"And work," Rhodey threw out. "Obviously, you'll want to return to work at some point. This way Lachlan will be used to all of us, and when Loki visits him— "
"Wait."
The men silenced at the sheer sternness of the lone word and Maria's accompanying frown.
She believed a baby should never be considered a problem and certainly not a solution. Lachlan's arrival didn't miraculously glue hers and Loki's broken bits together. They were the same messed-up people. Lachlan did provide motivation for them to try harder to listen and understand.
Perhaps that's why Maria gave these guys a chance to explain themselves instead of outright smacking their heads together.
"The Avengers want me and Lachlan to move in?"
"Yes," the men answered in chorus.
"Without Loki?"
"Hey," Sam said, trying to tread with caution. "We realize you and Loki are working on your thing— " He noted her piercing stare. "—relationship and all, but he's a bad dude."
"No!" Maria said, pointing her finger in Sam's face for emphasis. "Loki has fulfilled his promises to me, S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers. We agreed to let him stay on Earth free and clear. We're not going to separate him from his son."
Sam sat back in the seat, his guilty gaze shifting to the view of the street rushing past.
Rhodey didn't look her way since he was driving, but Maria still saw his mouth purse and brow furrow like he realized the pile of shit they'd just landed in.
Heat flooded both her face and torso, building up with such vehemence that she didn't dare stay, even long enough to reach their destination.
"Pull over," Maria demanded, releasing her belt and reaching for the handle.
Rhodey knew better than to argue with her. He took the next turn, easing the SUV to a stop.
"Forgive us," he said, seeming to beg while keeping his macho edge. "We care about you. You know that."
Of course she knew, but that didn't make her feel better about what they proposed.
"Next time the team wants to offer their help, they can talk with Loki and myself together."
She stepped out onto the curb then flung the door closed and headed away, deciding to walk for a bit before calling for a cab.
Maria rocked while the baby fed, her attention split between adoring his every sigh or twitch and Loki's pacing of the mother's rest area. He'd been on edge for the last three days since Maria informed him of the incident with Sam and Rhodey. It was a good thing the doctor was releasing Lachlan so his parents didn't have to spend another night camped out in the waiting room, taking sponge baths in the public bathrooms and being underfoot. Both were at their wits end, and the worst part was still to come.
"It will be an ambush," Loki grumbled yet again. "Why didn't you tell Natasha not to bother with this party?"
"Baby showers are a tradition, and they want to see him before we leave town."
"Well, that's our decision to make, not theirs."
"Which you made abundantly clear by removing them from the visitors' list."
Maria took in a deep, settling breath. The baby would get fussy if they allowed themselves to get too agitated.
"Calm down or take a walk," she ordered.
He glared back, but the look melted into weariness once his eyes drifted down to the baby. Loki wandered over, easing into the rocking chair next to hers.
"Is this my life now?" he pondered aloud, staring at a vibrant mural on the opposite wall of zebras, lions, elephants and ostriches marching out of Noah's Ark in a deceptive parade of happy threes.
"This is just a hospital. Life is out there," she said, jerking her head at the windows behind them. "It's not always going to be like this."
His gaze dropped to the powder blue carpeting.
"Maybe I don't understand your meaning," she confessed, trying not to let fear cause hasty reactions. "Explain what you're feeling."
"It's like I'm caged… and not allowed to complain about it."
Still he did not look at her. His frame had yet to completely relax, and the days of constant tension must be exhausting.
"I make you feel trapped?"
When a prolonged silence followed, Maria's stomach tightened into painful knots. She wouldn't demand an answer from him because he appeared so conflicted, almost ashamed. Perhaps he didn't respond because she'd requested he not lie to her and he knew the truth would hurt.
A nurse poked her head in to let them know the release orders had been submitted. Loki went with her to sign the papers, giving Lachlan time to finish eating and Maria to collect herself. It still took another half of an hour to get their stuff together before the couple walked out with the baby in his car seat and with a variety of bags containing clothes and toiletries.
Nick Fury and two agents, Collins and Baxter, met them in the pickup area with a large silver van. Maria let the men take the bags from her to be packed into the vehicle. They'd already loaded Lachlan's crib and things.
"Your place is ready for you," Nick reported.
He deposited the ring with house and van keys into her palm then chose to take hold of her hand. Concern strained his features.
"You're sure you want this? You don't have to go so far, you know. We'll give you breathing room."
Maria wanted to tell him that relocating a couple hours drive wasn't running away, but she couldn't muster the lie. They needed to regain some control, balance and trust. Loki's earlier admission made it clear that he needed some independence. How could he be his own man under the constant scrutiny of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers? There were too many biases, expectations and uncertainties to deal with all at once. Maria needed the break as much as Loki really.
"We're sure."
She pulled back, keeping all the complicated reasons to herself. A sudden, chilly breeze picked up around them, somehow making the innocent action feel all the more standoffish, which stung her hormonal-tweaked sensibilities.
"Okay."
Nick signaled the other men to return to their car, indicating he'd be there soon. He reached into the carrier to give Lachlan's cheek a gentle caress. Then he shook hands with Loki.
"We're only a phone call away," the director told him, showing a steadfast sincerity, "for anything you guys need."
Loki managed a pleasant nod, though his other hand gripped the handle of the car seat with more determination.
"Natasha wanted me to verify that you're coming to Stark's tonight," Nick said to Maria who nodded. "I'm afraid I won't be able to make it."
Again she nodded, noting another pang of upset within her core. Surely this wasn't a final goodbye. She shouldn't let herself get so damn sentimental.
"I understand, sir. Thanks for— everything." The pause hadn't stopped the twinge of emotion from slipping out at the end.
God dammit! Now she'd gone and made it weird. Just get in the car, she told herself, before you start crying or something. This won't feel quite so devastating in a few weeks— or months tops. You'll see.
Sometimes Maria hated the control freak bitch inside her head.
"I'll call," she promised Nick. "To check in. From time to time."
"Good," was his simple, satisfied response.
As Fury strode off, his long coat flapping in the strengthening wind, Maria felt a profound sense of abandonment settle over her. She fought the emotion, knowing it was an irrational reaction to have since she was the one choosing to leave.