hiii sooo I'm back...haha.

I've ben working on this chapter for a couple of years and wow I finally finished. I hope some of you can still enjoy it :)

Chapter 7

An Afternoon At Arnold's

Helga wasn't sure she could do this anymore. As much as she wanted to see Arnold uncomfortable on his wedding day, he wasn't acting uncomfortable anymore. He would come in ready to teach his lesson and address her in a civil manner. He hadn't forgiven her or anything, but he wasn't showing the same emotions he did on day one. They had gotten used to each other.

It was Saturday, and Helga was helping Olga bake pies. Olga had gotten a terrible craving for cherry pie- homemade cherry pie, thus she was baking for the entire neighborhood. Literally, there were about half a dozen pies ready to bake. Olga was loving being back in a close knit community that she rekindled her friendship with just about everyone.

Paul was engrossed staring at the weather app on his tablet. He hadn't taken his eyes off it for an hour now. The forecast called for heavy thunderstorms, but so far there were no signs of it. That was what was fascinating to Paul.

"You're going to dry your eyeballs out looking at that crap," Helga pointed out.

"Not possible, Helga," Paul responded without looking up, "but thank you for the concern." She swore sometimes he was too smart for his own good.

One of the pies was finally done, and Olga had it cooling by the window. Helga was ready to dive in after working so hard, but Olga intercepted.

"No, no, Baby Sister. This one is not for you."

Helga frowned. This wasn't what she expected. "Ok, then who shall I go deliver this to? Since apparently we're the free pie brigade!"

Olga smiled a devilish smile. "Please go take this to Paul's tutor."

Helga narrowed her eyes at this challenge. "No way."

"Arnold has done great work, he deserves this from me to him."

Helga rolled her eyes. "Ok, but the brat should come with me at least."

Paul didn't look up when he said, "I can't, there's a thunderstorm on the way."

"Come on! Paul, there's not a cloud in the sky for crying out loud!"

Before she could fight anymore, Helga was already on her way to Arnold's. She decided to walk there instead of having to look for parking with the car, and Paul was right, there were some dark clouds coming from the distance. They really did owe Arnold a vast amount of favors after everything he was doing for Paul. He hadn't asked or accepted any form of payment for his tutoring, and he was at the house for hours at end with Paul. He was really the only one that understood Paul. Sure, Helga and Paul had a close relationship as family, but the kid didn't have a whole lot of friends. That's what came with his Asperger's. He wasn't very social at all, but he was able to talk to Arnold just fine. They hadn't told him about Paul's condition, because they didn't think it was something to be ashamed of at all, and Arnold never made him feel different, not like the other kids did in his first few weeks of preschool.

Helga approached the boarding house and suddenly she felt 4 inches tall. She hadn't been there since she had dated Arnold in high school. It still looked the same from the outside, but the people inside weren't the same. She rang the doorbell and Stella Shortman was the first to come to the door. She was just as she remembered her, only now she was looking at her like she had seen a ghost.

"Helga?"

Helga swallowed hard. "Hi Mrs. Shortman, um I came to bring this to Arnold." She opened the pie box to show her what was inside. "My sister baked it, and she wanted to thank Arnold for all he's done to help her out and my nephew."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "What are you doing back in town?"

Arnold must not have mentioned her to his family, she couldn't blame him. "Olga wanted to come back since she's pregnant and wanted to have a stress free birth in our hometown. No funny business at all, Mrs. Shortman."

Just then Miles Shortman came down the stairs. He noticed Helga and instantly had a huge smile on his face. "Helga?! What are you doing here?" Before she could answer, he was already taking her into a warm hug. "Honey, we haven't seen you in so long."

"It's great to see you, Mr. Shortman."

He made a face. "Helga, I'm not getting that old am I? Call me Miles." He took the pie box from her then. "Is this for us?"

Helga smiled. "Yeah Olga sent it over for Arnold. Just a thank you for helping her out."

"Arnold!" Miles shouted. "Come down here, son!"

Stella stayed with her arms crossed in front of the door, a momma bear ready to attack. Helga understood her hostility, she had completely ghosted Arnold long ago and broken his heart. She wanted people to just let it go! It's not like she really wanted to do any of that stuff, but it happened, and now people had to move on. The only one that seemed to do that was Arnold.

He came down the stairs looking a bit confused as to why Helga was standing at the door. He lifted an eyebrow at her and she raised the pie box to meet his gaze. Miles motioned Stella to step aside then and asked Helga to come in. Helga wasn't planning on going inside the boarding house, but here she was nearly in a panic. Suddenly she felt like a love sick teenager again with butterflies in her stomach.

She had to regain control.

Arnold was in front of her now, taking the pie box. His hands met hers for a moment, but he pulled away quickly. "What's this?"

She cleared her throat, "it's cherry pie." She lifted the lid to reveal the pie, which was still steaming. "Olga and I have been baking pies all day. She wanted you to have one."

Miles came by and swooped the pie out of Arnold's hands. "Don't mind if I do, son. This pie looks amazing."

He headed for the kitchen with Stella, when he turned his head back and asked, "Helga, you want a slice?"

Helga was taken aback. This was not at all part of her delivery duties. But they were already cutting the pie. She didn't want to be rude to this family that was always so sweet to her, but at the same time she felt incredibly uncomfortable. She had stayed away for a reason, and she didn't want to spiral again. Yet she took the pie.

Before she could take the seat Miles was offering her, Arnold tapped her shoulder. She turned to him, who also had a slice in hand and he motioned toward the stairs. "I have something I need to show you," he said.

Arnold was already walking up the stairs before she could protest. This was most definitely not part of the plan. She was in no condition to be going up those stairs, because the only place going up those stairs would lead to his bedroom. She hadn't been there in the longest time, and it haunted her. She would spend nights when she was younger longing to be there with him. When she would cry herself to sleep wanting nothing but to be back with Arnold, she would picture his fire escape as her happy place. It took a lot of help for her to finally get that memory out of her head.

She didn't want to tell him she didn't want to go up there. If she said anything, he would know that his presence affected her. Helga couldn't live with the idea that a married man would think he had any sort of place in heart, because as of 4 years ago he didn't. Her relationship with Arnold died the moment she almost did.

He took her to his bedroom, by no surprise, but she was surprised to see that it looked nearly identical to when he was a teenager. The only real difference was that there were new pictures on the wall that were taken long after she was gone, pictures of Abby- pictures of Lila. She expected nothing less, considering he had moved on with his life, but it was difficult to see that she was erased from his. Her pictures were gone. Not one of the pictures she knew were once up on those walls was left. For some reason, she still expected to see their prom picture on his desk, even though hers was also long gone.

He caught her staring then, she was lost in a trance looking at his framed engagement picture with Lila. She couldn't help but fall into a dream, where she was the one in that photograph. She had dreamed of marrying Arnold since she was a child, a dream so strong she completely believed would come true. She gave up that dream too, but seeing the evidence that this dream would also fail made her stomach turn. Everything she had hoped for when she was younger was nothing but a memory now. Being with Arnold, playing baseball, raising a family in the town she grew up in, that was completely out of the question now.

She regained her composure. "What did you want to show me?"

Helga took a seat on his sofa and began to eat her pie. It was much better than she thought it would be. Arnold took a small stack of paper from his drawer and handed it to her. She was confused but took the papers anyway. She quickly realized that this was written in Paul's handwriting.

"What's this?"

Arnold smiled. "I had Paul write a little paper on someone he admires. I know he's only five but he loves writing already. It's actually pretty impressive, in my opinion at least."

Helga began reading his chicken scratch, but she didn't expect to be left speechless.

I admire my aunt Helga. But she doesn't like it when I call her that. She likes to be called Helga. The name Helga means holy or blessed. I think Helga is blessed because she is happy again. When I was a little boy Helga was never happy. She was always sad, even on her birthday and Christmas. But after a while she started to get happy again, and she stopped crying at night. Helga used to cry all the time and it made me mad because I think she's the coolest person ever. She plays games with me, makes me food, takes me to the park, and watches movies with me. Helga is my best friend, I'm her best friend too, but don't tell Phoebe. I'm going to be having a new baby brother or sister, and it's gonna be my new friend too, but I hope Helga doesn't like them more than me. I hope that when that happens, Helga will stay happy and not be sad like she used to be.

Helga was stunned. She felt a lump in her throat, but she couldn't cry in front of Arnold. She loved this little boy more than anyone in the world and she knew the trauma she had probably left him with. He was only a baby when she was at the height of her depression, but the sleepless nights and crying fits didn't go away for a while. There were times when she felt perfectly fine, but would find herself crying in her sleep.

Arnold rested his hand on her shoulder so gently she almost thought it wasn't there. "What happened to you, Helga?"

She lowered her lip, but couldn't speak. She never openly talked about her depression, not even to Phoebe. Maybe that's why she had pushed Arnold away years ago, but she wasn't sure she could bring herself to say it now, even if she recovered. "Nothing, I'm fine."

He scoffed, "you can't lie to me, you know. I'm immune to you."

Helga pulled away from him. "You think you know everything! But guess what, you'll never know what I've been through."

He came closer to her now, blocking her way toward the door. "Because you didn't let me! You just completely ghosted." She froze, this was the conversation she never wanted to have with him. She couldn't avoid it now. She was caught in the mess she created. "I wanted to be there for you."

She dropped her head, she couldn't look him in the eyes without wanting to completely break down. "I couldn't do that to you, you didn't want that, you didn't want to see me like that.
"I wanted you!"

She gasped. Suddenly they weren't 22 years old, living their own lives away from each other. Now they were 17 again having the discussion she had avoided in the worst way the words he said sunk in. She had wondered if turning him away was a mistake for a long time, but she had grown to accept that decision, but now-now she didn't know what to think anymore. "You moved on pretty well, Arnold! You're living your dreams!" She shoved him out of her way. "Look at you, you're going to marry Lila Sawyer, your dream girl since we were what? Nine! I did you a favor."

His eyes read exactly the same as when she had seen him that one last day in New York, crushed. Yet she was right. He had moved on, so much so that he was ready to spend the rest of his life with Lila, if they were still together that may not have happened. He scoffed at her, for once she could see pure anger in his expression.

"You don't know me at all then. I expected you to be different after 5 years, but I didn't think you'd just turn back into your kid self."

That one hurt, if there was one thing she had done in New York was self growth, it wasn't her fault their bridge was torn down. Well, maybe it was, but he burned it to the ground when he chose to be with Lila again. "Why do you care so much now? You're getting married, or have you forgotten?"

He frowned again and turned away from her. "I don't understand why everyone keeps bringing it up like I just forget all the time. I know, okay? I know! I just wanted answers from you, but instead you left me wondering what I did wrong for years! That kind of pain is slow, and it never goes away. Now here you are after years of me trying to heal from you and you just try to act like nothing happened."

She rushed to the door, ready to run away once only thing that could have stopped her was hearing Rhonda Wellington Llyod's voice echoing from the hallway.

"Arnold, the door was open so I let myself in," she called. She was still coming up the stairs, Helga quickly shut the door.

"You have to get out of here," Arnold whispered. "Rhonda will tell Lila for sure, and I don't think either of us wants to have that conversation right now. I'll distract her, you hide."

He was right, Helga couldn't be seen in Arnold's bedroom, even if nothing was going on between them. She searched for a place to hide, the first idea was his fire escape, but the rain had started pouring used to be so good at hiding in his room as a kid, she doubted she could fit under the bed anymore. Then it hit her, the remote. She found the remote on the moving sofa. It had been a very long time since she did it, but he tucked her legs to fit within the length on the sofa and hit the button. She was instantly flipped into the wall where she had hid many years ago.

A sigh of relief hit her. Having Rhonda confront her about why she was there was the last thing she wanted. Arnold and Rhonda came in just then. Arnold poked his head in first scanning the room to see if she was still there. Helga peeked through the crack between the sofa and the was holding a garment bag with the bridal boutique's logo. It must have been Arnold's suit.

"Well do you want to try it on?" Rhonda asked Arnold as she zipped it down.

"NO!" Arnold exclaimed, then he caught himself. "I mean, it's okay, I'll do it later. You should get home before the storm gets worse."

Rhonda frowned, "you know you've been really strange lately." Helga swallowed and tried to move closer to see. "It's almost like you're not excited for this wedding." Rhonda giggled and evil giggle. "I mean could we blame you with the curveball Helga Pataki threw at you?"

Arnold didn't say anything, he just stared at the couch figuring out that Helga was back there. It was hard to describe how Arnold was looking at her, it wasn't hate or disgust, it was something else, something entirely different, it was wonder.

"Then again, there's a reason I always secretly liked her, she keeps things interesting around here."

Arnold finally spoke, "don't you have somewhere you need to be, Rhonda?"

She smiled, "why yes actually. I was supposed to drop off Helga's bridesmaid dress but her sister says she's not home. Funny, I almost thought she would be here."

"Well she's not!" Arnold blurted out. "What happened between us is in the past, she's just Lila's friend now."

Helga gasped quietly. She really couldn't explain why, but that comment hurt her more than anything else he had said before. Yet, it was true, she was only Lila's old high school friend now. There was no connection between her and Arnold now. She had to admit, she didn't expect to be Arnold's friend at the end of the day. At the same time, she never expected to break his heart either.

Helga broke away from her peep hole and moved further back. As she hit the wall, she felt something back there. She took out her phone and turned on the flashlight. There was a shoe box back there, weird because he had never stored things back there before. She probably shouldn't have looked through it, but Helga was naturally nosey. He lifted the lid up and found to her astonishment, a pink t-shirt with the name PATAKI written on the back. She felt her jaw on the floor. She never thought she would see this again. This was the shirt Arnold had made for her for one of her softball games back in junior year. They were just friends then, and he was dating Lila but that gesture had made her feel like the only girl in the couldn't believe Arnold had kept it all this time.

Under the shirt there were more mementos hidden, including the prom picture. Helga's heart was racing as she saw the letters Arnold had sent her while she was in New had all been returned to sender and she had never opened them. Even the bus ticket he had used to get to New York that last time they saw each other made it into the box. There was no way to describe what she was feeling: guilt, happiness, regret, but all at the same time. She started to imagine what her life would be like if she had let Arnold stay.

"Helga?" Arnold's voice whispered into the sofa.

She hadn't noticed Rhonda had left. She collected the box and pressed the button to come out of her hiding spot. She hurled the box as soon as he saw Arnold, aiming it directly at his chest.

"Good throw," he coughed up.

"What is this?" Helga demanded. "Why do you have this?"

Arnold's eyes shifted from Helga to the box and back to Helga again. "Let's not do this now."

Helga crossed her arms over her chest, her lips pouted and her eyebrows narrowed on him. "I'm sure Lila would love to hear that you have this box."

He rolled his eyes. "Ok, fine. These are just some memories I have, ok? I didn't have the heart to throw them away."

Arnold took the box to the edge of his bed with him. He opened it and dug out one of the many letters he had in there. His eyes were heavy as he began to rip open the envelope. He unfolded the piece of lined notebook paper and smiled before he started reading.

"I remember this one," he said. "Dear Helga, Merry Christmas. I was sad to hear you weren't coming back to Hollywood for the holidays. We were all hoping to see you again. I haven't heard from Olga in a while, I hope you are all doing ok. Opening presents with my family was a little weird this year. I had to fake a smile with every present I opened, not because I'm not grateful, but because there's something else I wish I had instead. I wish you were my present this year. Really I wish to hear your voice, or maybe to even get a letter in return from you. Anything. I don't know what I did or how I can fix it but I wish you would let me try. Some of the gang is telling me I should just let you go, but I can't give up on us Helga. I still and always will love you. Forever."

Helga swallowed, she found a spot on the floor and sat down, her arms hugging her knees. "You know I never wanted to hurt you. You might believe it but I didn't."

Arnold folded the letter again and placed it inside the envelope. He looked up to the skylight, watching the rain fall down. "It's really hard for me to believe that. All you had to do was tell me, not go off and ghost me. Then show up to my wedding?"

"You think I wanted to be here?" She cut in. "I never wanted to come back at all. It was a cruel fate for us to meet in that restaurant. I probably deserved that."

"Everything is always about you huh?"

"No!" She fought back. "It was always about you. I loved you."

"You sure had a funny way of showing it."

Helga scoffed, "you're one to talk. We break up and you just go running back to your ex again. You always loved her, it never stopped, did it?"

Arnold's eyes narrowed on her. "It was never like that. I was broken, she helped me find myself again."

Helga smiled, she loved these kinds of arguments, because she knew she could win. "I'm sure you two found way more than yourselves, all at the expense of Helga Pataki."

"You moved on without me! You iced me out."

"I was sick!" She shouted.

"I could have helped you!" He spat back.

"You couldn't!" She insisted.

"Why not?" He begged her.

"Because you made me want to kill myself!"

The room went still, only the thunder of the rain speaking volumes. Arnold's jaw dropped, his eyes lingering on hers. "Helga…"

She turned away from him. "It's no big deal now, I'm better."

He came down to the floor with her. Suddenly her head was pressed against his chest. Hot tears were rolling down her face, she didn't even notice herself starting to cry. His fingers were pressed so tight on her back, as if she would slip away at any minute.

Every dark feeling suddenly came crashing down on her like a tsunami. She was a teenager again, gasping for air in hopes of staying alive, but the walls closing in around her. For a moment there was a pocket of air for her to breathe. Arnold's hand started stroking her back. The tingles felt soft and soothing, exactly what she needed to calm down. She sunk deeper into his chest, she could smell his cologne, the same kind he wore before. The nostalgia quickly comforted her, and in that moment, there was no plan to ruin his wedding, no bitterness or hatred, just comfort.

"Helga I'm so sorry I couldn't be there," Arnold whispered to her. A kiss so soft she almost missed it planted on her head.

She lifted herself from his chest then, eyes locked on his. His gaze was strong, in a way she could only describe as inviting. Her eyes drifted down to his mouth, it was slightly parted as if he wanted to say something.

But he didn't say anything.

Arnold reached for her jaw and as gently as a passing wind lifted her face to his, and he kissed her.