As they went closer, the magic of the place grew stronger. A muggle wouldn't notice it - so subtle it was. Inconspicuous, silent and carefully hidden. The mountain. Moria, as Lily had named it in her head, with a memory of Tolkien's intricate stories still fresh in her mind even after all those years since she'd abandoned the muggle world.

"Ready?" she whispered at Severus with a smile on her face. He shrugged carelessly beside her. His face looked solemn and particularly unpleasant this morning, as if something was bothering him deeply, a wrinkle of sneer present beside his nose ever so slightly.

"Sev?"

"Let's go," he said with impatience in his voice and resolutely walked forward. Lily had no other choice but to follow him. Standing in front of a rocky wall, behind which they were supposed to find a gate, he took out his wand and muttered:

"You can take our body, but you can never take our soul."

As a reaction to the password, the cold wind behind them suddenly stopped blowing, as if someone had flipped an on / off switch. The rocky wall slid aside and revealed a massive iron gate. Symbols of all Hogwarts houses had been forged into it: a lion, a snake, a badger and an eagle, all intermingled to create the complicated pattern of the gate. The four animals opened their eyes and focused them on the two newcomers, which made Lily shudder in awe and a little bit of fear, as well.

"Welcome to New Hogwarts. State your names."

"Lily Potter and Severus Snape."

The lion nodded its head in approval. "I see. The original KJPB. Do come in."

And the gate opened with a silent creak. Lily took a step forward, but Severus remained where he was.

"What does that mean?" he demanded, but the gate stayed silent. Lily turned to him to answer instead.

"KJPB is an abbreviation for Kristen Jills and Paul Belwyn."

Severus snorted bemusedly, but she just smiled back at him.

"Did you know that their relationship would probably never thrive if it hadn't been for the two of us?"

He raised an eyebrow. "How come?"

"Well, it seems like the thing you call 'silly Slytherdor affair' has united the houses of Gryffindor and Slytherin in ways we never thought possible. And besides, no one calls Slytherdor 'Slytherdor' anymore. They all call it KJPB now."

Severus snorted again.

"What a way to put pressure on the couple to stay together for the rest of their lives, don't you think?" he noted sheepishly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Really, Sev, can't you at least once try to see things in a different shade than the blackest black?"

He wanted to answer but something caught his eye - they were now standing in an enormous dark corridor lined with columns and arches so high, that it was almost impossible to see the top of them. For the first time since the morning, he smiled and nodded in approval. The lack of light had a different effect on him than it did on Lily - while she was struggling to see clearly, muttering under her breath something like "what a bloody tomb this is", Severus felt calm. Darkness had always been his most trusted companion, a way to hide, a way not to be seen. Plus, people generally disliked it, just like they generally disliked his persona.

This is definitely more to my taste than the old Hogwarts, he thought to himself, just as Lily started her little rant:
"Ugh. So cold, dark and damp. I really hope it's for a short term only."

He pressed his lips together to prevent a chuckle from escaping.

"Oh, it's so lovely to see you both here alive and well," they heard from somewhere behind them. They turned around abruptly and saw Albus approaching them in haste.

"Come, there's no time to lose. The infirmary is this way. Mrs Potter, you can join me for a nice cup of tea while our friend is being inspected."

"Sure, why not? Catch you later, Sev!"

And off they went.

Severus didn't rush, although the large clock on a nearby wall showed only one minute to seven. Once again, he took in the atmosphere of the secret underground school. Some students passed him by, then stopped in their tracks, turned back at him and gave him a hesitant, but very respectful nod before they continued on their journey. Severus had been so used to looking for signs of mockery in student behavior, that it never even once crossed his mind, that they were really just greeting him, no side intentions attached.

He was watching them with slit eyes and only when they seemed far enough did he start walking again. There were no portraits along the way, which he much appreciated, since it meant fewer unnecessary distractions from his thoughts.

The infirmary was just as dark and damp as the rest of the school. It seemed deserted at first. Severus walked in, carefully closing the door behind him, and took off his cloak.

"Poppy," he called out.

But the sudden rushing steps headed his way didn't belong to Poppy. A tall, heavy figure appeared before him and the light revealed a large, triumphant grin on his face.

"You surely didn't think you could escape from me this easily, did you, Mr Snape?"

Severus found himself standing before the very same Dr Jills, from whom he'd escaped with Lily on a broom just two nights before.

Severus's eyes swept across the room.

"Where's Poppy?" he demanded. "I had an appointment with her, not you."

"Poppy is sick. And as you know, healers have the right to fall ill, too. And since I'm here to temporarily take over her duties, I'll be doing the check-up in her place today. Take your robes off. And your shirt, please."

Severus took a deep, annoyed breath. Stripping himself in front of one of his students' parents was not on his plan. However, he had to admit that he really needed the check-up, so he decided to be a good patient this time.

"Very well, Mr Jills."

"Call me Dawson."

Severus said nothing and took off his robes. Dr Jills seemed pleased. Since his daughter had been so fond of her potions professor, and since he himself knew very well how hard it was to brew potions on Severus' level, he respected the man very much. The day Severus was brought to him just minutes after the Cruciatus was the day he began to see the dark-haired man from a different angle. The rumors of his love for Lily, now spread across the whole school, and thus Severus becoming the 'Paul Belwyn of the older generation', had only underlined that change of view. And so, although Severus had never said anything nice to his daughter, Dawson still grew to like the young man. And right now, the man needed his help. As Severus was sitting there half-naked, the doctor felt a wave of sympathy for him. He only just picked up a stethoscope, when the door to the infirmary opened again.

"Hi, dad. Oh, and good morning, professor Snape. How are you feeling?"

Severus raised an eyebrow at Kristen before his eyes became dark slits. That made her hesitate.

Have I said something wrong? Am I being too casual? - she thought to herself. But then, her Gryffindor pride took over her again.

"Forgive me if I'm being too intrusive," she said, head held high. "But ever since I heard about what happened to you, I've been quite worried."

Severus eyed her for a second longer before muttering:

"There's no need to worry, Miss Jills."

"Glad to hear that, sir," she said, still maintaining that happy, conversational tone despite the deep worry that was now creeping up her spine after she saw how starved he really was. His pale chest seemed to be almost pierced through by the rib cage that stood out, even on his back. All bones, including the spinal cord, the hip bones and the chest bone, were clearly visible. Arms as thin as an 8-year-old's hung around the pale, gaunt torso. His cheeks were collapsed, his neck was too long, his skin sallow and dry, his shoulder blades clearly defined. Kristen had to blink a few times. He had never seen anyone as emaciated as he was. She quickly turned her face away from him, so that he couldn't see her swallow hard and tear up. He looked so fragile that she wanted to run away this instant and cry in a corner for him.

"I see I've interrupted the check-up and intruded on your privacy. I'll be on my way now. Please, accept my apologies, professor."

Her words received a grunt from Snape.

"Actually, Kris," she heard her father behind her, just as she was reaching for the door handle. "You could bring me the vials from the upper shelf on the left, you know where. They're all for professor Snape."

With a beautifully mastered nonchalant smile, she managed a happy "sure, father" and disappeared through the door on the other side.

Once in a separate room, she gave way to the tears that were now falling lazily down her cheeks. She sat down, contemplating on what she'd just witnessed, pretending not to see the woman standing in front of her, who had been watching her with silent understanding in her eyes.

"Oh, get a grip on yourself, Miss Jills," she grumbled to herself, very much in Snape's tone of voice. That lifted her spirits up. Then her eyes swept towards the woman.

"Don't look at me like that, Margaret," she told her, for which she received a small, sad smile. Finally, she was able to pick up the vials and bring them to the men and not cry while doing so.

"Here you go, professor. Drink all of them up, please."

Severus nodded and smelled the contents of the first flask. She watched as her father listened to the man's heartbeat through the stethoscope. Then he removed the probe and she herself could see the heartbeat from just below the chest bone, a small lump going up and down in a slow, steady manner against the sallow skin.

Stop staring, she promptly reminded herself and tore her eyes off it.

"Can I go, dad?" she said, careful not to sound too impatient.

"Sure. And thank you for your help," Dr Jills muttered while inspecting the inside of Snape's mouth.

"Well, Mr Snape," he said. "I have no desire to keep you in the infirmary against your will. Therefore, I strongly suggest you lie down in your private quarters and have as much rest as you can get for at least a full week. I'll have my daughter bring you all the necessary medication, as well as a Hogwarts elf to bring you food and drink from the kitchen. Is it clear?"

Severus nodded.

"Now, I have one more thing I'd like to see here. But, uh, you won't like it," Dr Jills said, slightly biting his lip.

"My mental health," Severus whispered, sounding defeated. He sighed and sat back down on the chair. "Go on."

Dr Jills continued. "Since I'm not clairvoyant myself and don't want to perform any intrusive act as for example legilimency, I'd like the inspection to be done by a colleague of mine. Margaret!" he called out before Severus had any chance to react.

A woman with dark, bushy hair appeared at the door. She sat down opposite Severus, her icy blue eyes sweeping over his face, and conjured a small table in between them. Then she put her elbows onto the table top, palms facing up and outward in the shape of a bowl or a lotus.

"Put your head right here in between my palms," she said gently, gesturing at the hands with her eyes.

Severus tried hard not to hesitate in any way, nor give any signs of uneasiness. As soon as his chin touched the bottom of the lotus, he felt her warm, gentle hands clasping the sides of his sallow face. Trying not to blink or give away any feeling of discomfort, he locked his eyes onto hers and could clearly see the outlines of his own face inside the pale blue pupils.

Margaret let out a sigh and her right palm moved slightly back and forth across his cheek, caressing it. Her gaze became deeper, harder, more determined. He fought not to shudder. For what felt like an eternity, she said nothing, nothing at all, and the determined expression on her face didn't change a tiniest bit. Severus felt more and more uneasy with each second, but there was nothing he could do about it. He knew it was a necessary part of the process. His soul was being carefully stripped by the clairvoyant, layer by layer, until the very core, or at least what remained out of it, lay bare right before her.

"I'm not going to say anything just yet, because judging you too early would be a grave mistake," she mumbled in deep thought.

Another sigh, another soft caress.

"Come on, open yourself to me," she whispered.

Severus's eyes darkened, as he instinctively tried to scare her off with his intense black stare. Margaret didn't waver, although it did make her drop the gaze for a split second before she renewed the connection.

"You," she said, very slowly. "You've had very bad experiences with people, since an early age. Most probably due to abuse, am I right?"

Severus nodded, his expression never changing.

"Even now you struggle to be accepted. And with most people around you now, you are vastly and passionately hated."

When she saw the grin her words made on Severus's lips, she continued: "And you find it funny."

Severus snickered, but stopped quickly, caught in an utmost surprise, when she tightened her grip around him, her gaze becoming much harder this time.

"Let me make this clear, Severus Snape," she whispered in a no-nonsense tone of voice. "You feel comfortable when people hate you, because that's what you're used to. You are not used to receiving kindness, let alone love, from other people. Such things make you uneasy, paranoid and even angry at times."

She shook her head in disbelief. "Poor, foolish man. This is not funny. It's a tragedy."

Severus blinked.

Margaret waited for a more telling reaction, but when he gave her none, she continued. Once again, she dove deep into the cold darkness of his eyes.

"You believe you are not worthy of being loved. And you treat yourself as such. You hate yourself, you punish yourself. The very same hatred that had been shown to you by your family is still being thrusted upon you by no one other than yourself. As a result, you are battling a severe mental illness that prevents you from enjoying even the simplest things that your body needs in order to function."

Severus snorted in disbelief. His face remained unchanged, but Margaret would have sworn that she saw a glimpse of pain in his eyes.

"Do not worry, young, unique, smart and talented Severus Snape. You will get better sooner than you think if you listen to even a fraction of what I say to you."

Severus's eyes glistened as they began to well up. Quickly, he tore his eyes off Margaret's, but the woman had no intention to let him go just yet.

"Please, don't break eye contact. Look at me again," she demanded. Severus, though very unwillingly, obeyed. Her eyes, he noticed, were wet from tears, but still determined and unwavering. As soon as he dove into them, he felt her soft thumbs caressing his forehead and he just couldn't take it anymore. Still looking in her eyes, he burst into tears and dropped the weight of his head into her palms.

Margaret's thumbs wiped away tears whenever a new one appeared. The caresses became more frequent. He let out a silent sniff, not daring to break eye contact again.

Margaret sighed for the third time and stood up, lifting his face to look up into hers.

"No, Severus, you are not weak because you cried in front of me today. Stop thinking that. On the contrary - by doing this, you have shown me that you are an immensely powerful individual. And you are not alone - I sense someone who loves you deeply. She has never had it easy with you, since you are a real piece of work, but she's determined to never give up on you. You should stick with her. She will help you. I'll see you next week."

And with these words, she stood up, caressed the top of his head, and left.

Severus found himself utterly mentally exhausted. He lay face-forward onto the table, trying to get his breath back under control.

"A very pleasant encounter," he mumbled at Dawson with an unseen sour grimace on his face.

"Necessary, though," the doctor shrugged. Then he approached the dark-haired lump of misery before him and sat down on the floor to get a better look at him.

"Will you be willing to go through this every week?" he asked with concern.

Severus huffed. "Only if you're certain that this will help me."

"I am."

Severus lifted his head up and focused his tired gaze on the doctor.

"I will never make fun of clairvoyants and their gift ever again, nor say that legilimency is more powerful. Clearly, it's not."

"Sure."

"And if that's everything…"

"Yes, you can go. I can only guess how tired you must be right now. See you in a week, Mr Snape."

After Severus exited the infirmary, he wanted to take a stroll through the school, but found himself too exhausted to do so. He sighed at the low reserves of energy his body had, but quickly reminded himself that he alone was responsible for the poor state of his physical shell.

He turned left and followed the general direction of where he thought the 'new dungeons' would be, since the infirmary had also been in the general direction of the old one. And he wasn't mistaken - soon he found himself and a small, dark spiral staircase leading somewhere deeper underground. He didn't meet anyone on his way, not even any stupid paintings, for which he was grateful. Once again, his mind was filled with unpleasant thoughts of the night before - Lily crying in her sleep for the death of his most loathed enemy. It had angered him so much that he'd decided to go and brew Dreamless Sleep immediately. Lily had a general, vague idea of how jealous Severus could get at times, but he preferred not to ventilate his thoughts to her too much. Besides, he knew very well that the fact she'd ended up with Potter, as well as that Potter had died, was Severus's fault, and his alone.

Severus sighed heavily. He felt like the worst person in the world and knew no way out of it. His anger at Potter was eating him up, burning him alive, and he had to repeatedly tell himself not to be angry at Lily, as well.

Soon enough, he stopped in front of a door that looked very similar to the one leading to his old quarters.

He prodded the door with his wand.

"Password?" it asked.

"Asphodel," he said automatically.