The Bloodbath

"In the pantheon of sins, murder is far more honorable than betrayal."

Seeva Andino
District 2 Female, 18

Timestamp – 10:53AM

The jitters in my stomach begin in earnest when we are led into the small enclosed room with no windows and no doors. Just a metallic cold bunker, smelling of cleaning products and quiet dread.

My dread.

We flew here and already that was something else, but now I know I'm underneath the arena.

It's a fact that I can no longer escape whatever is coming for me, so I take deep breaths and tighten my diaphragm, slowing my frantically beating heart.

I left Sujax on the aircraft that will bring him directly to the mentor control center. To the place where he will spend the Games, provided that I survive until the very end.

The last words he said to me was to watch my back and to make myself proud, in there.

Sujax is like that… he doesn't say much, but when he does, it means a lot. Athena might be the most experienced with combat, but there is nothing that can replace the innate understanding that Sujax has of these Games and of his district.

I try to latch onto that.

The quiet confidence that I always had a grip on is not going to desert me now, of all times.

Passing a hand through my black short hair, I try to memorize the feeling. Realistically, it won't be as clean and springy as it is right now, for another while. I concentrate on the way the glossy curls tickle each of my fingers.

It's nice to feel clean… literally and figuratively. To not feel the grime on every inch of your skin and soul.

As I change into my arena clothes, my mind wonders to Imari who must be sitting in a bar somewhere, his knuckles white from grabbing the chair in front of him. Probably 'Nan's Horn' knowing him, where he'll spend the whole bloodbath gritting his teeth and throwing around expletives with impunity.

He has complete faith in my capabilities, but I know that this wait must be excruciating for him.

I crack my own knuckles in anticipation, closing my eyes and concentrating on the feeling of the soft and comfortable material on my skin. Not something for extremely cold conditions, which is nice to know. The cargo pants are nondescript, and the black tank top doesn't let on much either.

I dig my toes into the soles of my short boots, which are a perfect fit.

I enjoy the softness of the hoodie and as I put my hands into my pockets, I fish out a small rectangular paper with a fancy border.

"Wonderland Ticket for One". Alongside the cryptic title, my name and District are printed out in shiny golden letters. I stuff it back into my pocket, cautiously.

Interesting…

But the arena could literally be anything. It's out of my control and I shouldn't be speculating.

The measured and deep breaths I take calm me down and I stand there, ignoring the shuffling and darting around of my stylist.

Nothing matters anymore, except for my unwavering focus.

"Two minutes before launch," a deep electronic voice intonates from the intercom, and the tube slides open.

No point in delaying the inevitable.

I step in voluntarily, the metal plate beneath me stabilizing my steps.

The tube slides shut and I turn around, surveying the room I was in previously. My tether to the real world is severed by the transparent cylinder. Now, the only way to get back is to play the game until the very end.

Even my previous attire, lying on the floor discarded doesn't seem real. The glass distorts my vision slightly, pushing even further the idea that I've stepped into another universe.

"One minute before launch," the voice reminds me again, and I keep breathing.

In and out… in and out…

Behind the glass, a woman enters the room, stumbling almost as if she was pushed in. She jerks her head to the unseen abuser, before bending down obediently in front of the tube, her curly black hair obscuring her face from view.

Her hands dart out of her Avox uniform, picking up the shirt I had discarded without a second thought.

Something hidden, dormant for over a decade, stirs at the back on my mind.

It can't be…

I squint at the woman in front of me, my heart picking up speed once again. The glass of the tube reflects my own face at me, confused.

This literally can't be happening.

Involuntarily, my hands go up on the transparent surface in front of me.

The woman looks up. My sweaty palms leave prints on the glass of the tube as my breaths blur the view in front of me before I wipe at it aggressively, trying to wrap my head around the fact that this isn't a nightmare.

It's unmistakable now.

The eyes staring back at me mirror my own, her gaunt face outlined by a stubborn jaw, the same hair…

That's my sister looking at me.

"Chaya…"

She recognizes me too, immediately.

She mouths my name, anguish and surprise written all over her face.

I want to ask her so many things, I want to cry and scream and faint, because I never thought I'd see her again. And now, of all the times we could have crossed paths…

Fate is a cruel bitch.

I can barely hear the thirty-second warning over the pounding in my ears, and my own voice getting progressively louder as the metal plate beneath my feet starts stirring.

I want to know where my brother Venthan is. I want to know so many things, my focus completely derailed in favor of the frantic and agonizing panic that my fucking sister is in front of me.

As the tube ascends, I bang on the glass, screaming her name now. I don't even care who's watching, I just want thirty seconds with her. Just ten seconds.

The metal plate pushes me upwards, and I desperately crouch to memorize her face as she runs up to the glass. I can't even hear her.

The skin on my knuckles almost ruptures from the feverish knocking.

And then I'm up in the arena.

Timestamp – 10:59 AM

Aderyn Klossner
District 10 Female, 15

Timestamp - 10:59AM

I have to do everything in my power to not stumble off of the platform to my untimely and explosive death right then and there.

It has happened before, and it's never pretty.

Even though we didn't always see eye to eye, I'm sure my parents wouldn't want to see me splattered across the green turfs of weeds and flowers interspersed with pebbles that lie beyond my pedestal.

The wind blasts my hair sideways and while it's not in my face, tucked away expertly so as to not obstruct my vision, I can feel the chill at the back of my scalp.

I whip my head around wildly, burying the rising hysteria deep within my stomach, surveying my surroundings. My breaths come out shallow.

I don't think I've ever been so exhilarated in the worst way possible.

"Welcome to the thirteenth Hunger Games!" a booming voice announces, echoing.

Someone to my left vomits violently. I see the boy from District 8 shaking as he reflexively almost-jumps backwards from his own sickness. My arm shoots up towards him, in warning.

He sways on his pedestal, somehow keeping his footing.

I almost lose my mind right then and there, realizing that had he not retained his composure, I would have been covered in his remains. It takes all of my strength not to vomit too.

Maybe I'm imagining it, but the stench of death is already assaulting my nostrils.

"May the odds… be ever in your favour!" the disembodied voice reverberates.

Large convoluted metallic structures stand behind me, monstrous and glistening in the sun. With impeccable timing, lightbulbs switch on, as a gigantic wheel-looking construction turns steadily, approximately a kilometer behind me. The screech of old metal parts grinding against each other provides a steady wail that permeates the silence of the large clearing we're in.

Small houses to the left, painted in bright colors that look blinding in the summer light. All of the structures are surrounded by some kind of fence…

I've seen this on television once or twice.

It's… it's a fucking theme park.

Far behind my right shoulder, a seemingly broken-down carousel produces a crackling mournful tune. A giant metal horse with black mane is frozen mid-leap, its face twisted in an expression of wild terror and its painted eyes bulging.

I tear my eyes away, focusing on what's ahead of me.

We're all in a large circle, around a standard-looking Cornucopia, at the very least.

I spot Val as he turns his head around, catching my gaze. For once, he doesn't look relaxed and I think he's as thrown off by this arena as I currently am.

A fucking theme park… you gotta be kidding me…

A few steps behind him is a dirt path leading to a thicket of tall and ominous-looking trees, which form a wall of sorts. The darkness beyond them looks menacing, and I decide right then and there that if nothing else, Jess and I are staying far from that part of the arena.

A small dilapidated fence topped with barbed wire adds to the feeling of unease in the pit of my stomach. Something really bad is bound to come out of there.

Just the idea of running closer to that forest in order to grab some supplies chills me to the bone. The hair on my arms stands up.

I shiver.

The countdown is already at twenty seconds. Twenty seconds until this whole scenario degenerates into murder and death.

Just then, I think of the fact that it's strange of them to put the Cornucopia at what seems to be the edge of the arena. It's usually smack in the middle…

I don't have time to think it over.

I strain my neck, looking back once again.

In large neon letters surrounded by more fluorescent lights, a "Welcome to Wonderland!" sign is hanging over the archway of an entrance.

I spot approximately nine or ten turnstiles underneath the archway. A painted mural of sorts is displayed on the fence surrounding the turnstiles, and when I squint, I spot terrifying wild animals, their maws open and ready to bite down on their next victims.

I can't see another easy entrance to the park, and I start frantically gesturing at Jess.

That's the bottleneck. So, it's either the creepy haunted-looking forest or the turnstiles, where bloodshed will inevitably occur.

We should try going around the park. Maybe… maybe there's another entrance there.

Jess is right near Val, and if anything, that's good news.

I'm sure he won't go after her. If I just run to get some supplies, she can circle around and we'll be golden.

She nods at me, throwing me a nervous thumbs up.

"Ten, nine, eight…"

I prepare to run faster than I've ever ran in my life.

"Seven, six, five…"

I spot a large backpack. Not too far in, so I don't risk getting attacked. It'll be enough for us to survive without the supplies that are inside the park for the time-being.

We'll be fine.

"Four, three, two, one."

GONG.

Timestamp – 11:00 AM

Roizer Loudon
District 6 Male, 14

Timestamp – 11:02 AM

I almost started crying when I saw Bex one pedestal to my right, and Cassius two to her right. We've been clustered together, and I thank whoever answered my prayers.

Bex's eyes dart quickly around, spotting Scout. He's standing next to the scary boy from District 2 on the opposite side, and as the gong rings, he doesn't budge when the taller tribute sprints away towards the Cornucopia.

His tear-filled eyes find mine.

This is scarier than anything I've ever seen in my life.

The sounds are overwhelming my senses, and the adrenaline causes me to twitch unpredictably, my limbs jerking out in various directions. I try to keep myself under control.

"Tickets!" Cassius yells out, searching frantically through his pockets. Bex and I hear, but so do half of all of the other tributes that haven't reached the Cornucopia yet.

"I'm going to get Scout, you guys run!" Bex yells back at the two of us, pointing insistently towards the archway with the scary clown. I nod, even as I'm shaking all over and I feel like my legs will give out.

She weaves through the running children, picking up some sort of weapon as she's running.

I can't see very well, my eyes blurred by panicked tears as Cassie knocks into me and starts dragging me closer to the archway.

The boy from Twelve rushes past us, paying us no mind. He somehow already has a backpack on his back, and without a word or so much as a glance in our direction, he jams his ticket into the small slot of the turnstile and jumps through, in his attempt to get away.

A medium-sized knife glistens in his hand. No blood on it, yet.

Cassie is breathing hard next to me, rubbing my back as we slow down a little bit. An arrow whizzes past us, hitting the wooden archway, just where Abel's head was. I can't even see where it came from but Cassie and I both scream, ducking to the ground.

Miraculously, no more arrows come our way.

We need to wait for Bex. Cassie isn't crying, but his eyes are bulging out in horror.

And suddenly he goes rigid all over.

I turn around just in time to see the boy from District 2 crouch down in front of the boy from District 11. It's almost friendly, the way he does it. Sword in hand.

The poor little boy hasn't even moved from his pedestal, and in a moment of terrible clarity I see the ugly teddy bear he still clutches to his chest.

Luther says something to him.

It's very brief, because I discern him shaking his head as he raises his sword and decapitates the child with one fluid motion.

I can see the spray of blood all the way from here, as it arcs away from the sword.

Almost as an afterthought, Luther twirls around, using the momentum of his previous swing and decapitates the teddy bear as well, before the lifeless body even hits the floor.

It would have been the most elegant thing I had ever seen, had it not been cold-blooded murder. The head rolls down, and in horror I see that the eyes are still open.

Cassie chokes down a sob.

It's so surreal that I push my head down into the grainy ground and imagine that I just hallucinated this horrible sequence. That somehow my mental state has worsened to include psychosis and walking nightmares as symptoms.

"I've lost sight of Scout-," Cassie pants next to me, before cutting himself off and screaming.

"Bex!"

I whip my head up, only to see Bex get struck down by Luther, too. My heart feels like it's going to give out, and I instinctively grab onto the grass in front of me.

My ally goes down hard, rolling over backwards and jutting out her legs just as Luther tries to stab her through the abdomen. Instead, she screams again, but I can't see where the Career landed his shot because Bex launches herself upwards, as though possessed.

She whips around, and I realize she's screaming Scout's name.

Distracted and seemingly uninterested in finishing the job, Luther doesn't even spare her a glance as he seems entranced by the action happening closer to the Cornucopia, allowing Bex to scurry away to a safe distance.

"Come on Bex," Cassie prays, an iron grip on my arm cutting off all circulation.

I scan the area frantically, for Scout, but can't see him either.

"Go, go, go!" Bex screams as she angles back while shaking her head, her shoulder bleeding profusely. Her hair is already a mess, pieces of grass sticking out in different angles. She bumps into the two of us, grunting with effort as she forces us to our feet and through the entrance of the amusement park. She's bleeding everywhere.

Silent tears flow down my face, as we stumble through the turnstiles.

"I couldn't see him. He ran away, somewhere," Bex spits out bitterly, but I can hear the despair in her voice. For the first time since I've met her, her voice hitches slightly.

"I don't know where he went, but one second I saw him and the other I went down, and… and he was gone."

Where could Scout possibly go?

Timestamp – 11:13 AM

Ambrox Linden
District 1 Male, 18

Timestamp – 11:01AM

It's crazy how everyone prepares you for this moment, and yet, I don't think anyone can truly explain the feeling you get when you're in the middle of the fray.

I run as quickly as my legs can carry me, and approach the Cornucopia just as Luther digs out a huge sword and chucks it at me. My knee-jerk reaction is to duck, thinking he wants to kill me.

But that makes no sense.

We're allied, and he gives me a thumbs up even as the sword soars through the air and I catch it by the handle.

I spare Luther a quick smile, and turn to survey my surroundings. The girls arrive soon-after, Morgana surprisingly in the lead.

I see Orla in the distance, challenging the weaker-looking girl from District 6 to a fistfight. The girl, Daisy, tries to evade Orla who trips her and kicks her in the shin while laughing haughtily. I grimace. I hate that bitch.

On the other side of the Cornucopia, I see utter disarray as the younger tributes are scrambling to get away. I'm not going to bother going after them just yet. My heart is pumping for violence, and I know my face must be flushed from excitement, but I need to keep it in for now.

That's not the angle I'm going for.

I turn back around, only to see Orla sprinting towards the Cornucopia, nursing her left hand. I glance back and see Daisy limping away as the District 12 girl holds her up, snarling at the District 8 boy to stay the fuck out of their way. Well, I guess that interaction did not go as expected, I think to myself, smirking a little bit at the idea of Orla finally getting the reality check she deserves.

"Hey, One, come help me, we need to get this stuff secure before the outer district scum scavenge it all!" Orla screams shrilly at me, and I oblige. As though we weren't here doing exactly that while she was bullying someone who literally stands no chance.

I want to tell her, rather snarkily, that there are other bigger targets, but I cut myself off.

None of the other Careers pays her any attention, already having picked up a target in the ensuing chaos of the Bloodbath. I see Seeva on the defensive, closer to the pedestals, while Cira speeds towards the other tributes with animalistic speed.

Morgana is at Seeva's back, slicing at the District 5 tributes with precise strikes that impress me momentarily. I gotta admit, the girl's fucking good at what she does.

The boy is blind, so I write him off as Morgana's kill as soon as my eyes leave her.

Luther is off somewhere.

I notice what's left of the boy from Eleven, lying in a heap near his pedestal. From what I can tell, he's in pieces.

"Hey, One, I'm talking to you, get your ass over here. I can't do everything by myself!" Orla's voice pierces my ear drums in the ensuing chaos. I don't even know how someone can sound so fucking annoying in the middle of the biggest murder-fest of the year.

I look at her, annoyed, and she raises her eyebrows while waving her hands impatiently as though I'm the one holding up the entire operation. She rolls her eyes at me, clearly unsatisfied by my apparently slowness, and digs into the pile in front of her.

That's when I make the decision for our entire group.

It's not like anyone explicitly told me not to do it, either.

Orla's going down.

I already have a sword in my right hand, after all.

I don't answer her, but she sees me approaching and in that self-entitled little brain of hers, she probably thinks I'm there to help her out, or play the lacquey to her Capitol-born ass or something.

I see Luther, right arm covered in blood up to the elbow, smiling innocently at me. It's as though everything is going in slow-motion.

Orla doesn't see it coming, per say, because she's too intent on picking out the perfect weapon within the Cornucopia.

She only turns around when I'm too close. She doesn't even have anything to protect herself with, but her eyes scream betrayal even as I purse my lips and hack at her midsection with all the precision Jasmyn taught me.

It doesn't even take that much force for me to slice Orla open, from her right hip to her ribs. It's a rather shallow cut, not enough to kill you, but sustaining this kind of injury this early in the Game means certain death.

That was my intention, because I'd literally rather trip on this sword and impale myself than have Orla in my alliance.

To her credit, Orla does not scream.

She falls to the ground, as though she almost expected it, her hand clamped to her side to stem the flow of the blood gushing out of her.

"Thought you'd be a screamer," I remark, approaching her slowly.

To her, I must be a looming figure of doom standing above her. The personification of all her nightmares. In the back of my mind, I register that it must look pretty intimidating and relish in that fact, because I fucking hate bullies like her.

Especially those that have nothing to show for themselves. I cock my head a little bit, for effect, but she doesn't flinch.

I look over my shoulder and see that the girls are still busy chasing away some of the more daring tributes. Only Luther is watching me intently, but doing nothing to stop what I'm about to do.

Orla looks like she's about to ask me why I'm doing this, but in her final moments, I think she understands. The accusatory glare she gives me holds so much reproach and hate that it stops me, if only for a second.

This is the moment I do it, and it feels exhilarating and wrong but it's what I was meant to do. And I'm genuinely not sorry it's Orla.

"Any last words?" I offer, while angling my sword towards her head. From the way her eyes flit around, I expect her to apologize to her parents, or beg for mercy or anything really.

"Fuck you," Orla spits at me, and with one swift motion, I swing my sword at her head.

Timestamp – 11:07 AM

Jessamine Law
District 11 Female, 16

Timestamp - 11:03AM

I sprint my ass off to get to the rendezvous point Addie kept pointing at when the seconds were trickling by, and it felt like we were all going to explode from the sheer anticipation.

It's really shitty that we ended up at the literally opposite ends of the circle in terms of the tributes' pedestal placements.

But right now, it's like my mind is blocking out what's going on, focusing on the task at hand. My mind wonders, even as I objectively know I should be analyzing our surroundings.

I suddenly remember how we spoke at length two days prior, while sipping the delicious champagne-spiked orange juice I forced Addie to try. It's weird, because we're so close in age and we come from neighboring districts, and yet her life is just so different from mine. I think that's what interested me so much about her, and why we ended up allying in the first place.

She was so stressed out and I was too, but we have each other and that's pretty good. It's more than some of the other tributes have, and we hadn't scored too high or too low to paint an obvious target on either of our backs.

The plan was that we weren't going to get into any trouble, we were just going to go in, get one weapon, maybe a backpack, and run for the hills. There's no hills, but the plan still stands.

The arena looks like some sort of amusement park, and there seems to be lots of material to work with. Absentmindedly, I touch the small "Wonderland Ticket" in my pocket.

I think it might be for the turnstiles Addie was looking at, but it's not like we'll be going towards them any time soon.

Instead of running directly into the fray, I angle back, jogging and looking around wildly, to make sure I don't collide with one of the other tributes.

I do exactly what my brother Will told me.

I see Addie and smile at her encouragingly, but she doesn't see me. She's got her eyes set on the prize.

I spot the boy from Nine, Geoff, running alongside Addie. They're still about 50 meters away from the good stuff, the stuff we agreed Addie would take before running away. I didn't want her going any deeper, for fear of her getting attacked by the Careers.

My heart seizes up with joy, because it's him, not a Career or one of the crazy ones.

Of all the people she could be running alongside, Geoff is one of the better options. He never seemed like a threat, not so early on in the game, so I slow down a little, on the outskirts of the circle, watching Addie's feet hit the ground with methodical precision and determination.

We'll make it, I know we'll make it.

I even smile in her direction like an absolute madwoman, sending her all the best vibes I can muster because we can survive this Bloodbath, and then we'll be unstoppable.

All the Careers seem busy next to the Cornucopia, and I'm far enough that even a person with a long-range weapon will have a hard time hitting me.

Addie's gonna make it, I know it.

Suddenly, I hear the first scream of pain, and all my assumptions about this blowing over evaporate right before my eyes. I frantically search for the source of it, and see Daisy, the girl from 6, being kicked by Orla.

It's none of my business, I remind myself. Just gotta keep watching Addie. Focus on Addie.

I turn my eyes back to my ally.

She's lying on the ground, struggling to get up.

Oh no. What…

Geoff stands over her, his legs shaking. He doesn't seem all there, he looks so scared, but when Addie raises her arm weakly to protect her face, he reacts as though she tried to attack him.

He seemed so kind in training.

My brain keeps supplying random facts as I struggle to make sense of what's going on. He was the same age as me, and he even smiled at us both, when I kept succeeding on the monkey-bars course. He looked mature and he had his allies, the other two boys, with him.

I remember eavesdropping in on one of their conversations, and discovered that he volunteered for another younger boy just because it felt like the right thing to do. He said that at his interview too…

What seems like ages ago, I joked with Addie that they'd make a cute couple, what with the curly hair and all that, just to make her uncomfortable. Partly to make her forget her awkwardness with Val.

Geoff wheels around, almost in a trance, and bashes Addie on the head with the spiked baton he picks up from the ground.

She wasn't even reaching for him, she was reaching for the bag splayed a mere few feet ahead of her.

But he hit her, defenseless.

The shriek that escapes my lips sounds inhuman.

I don't stop screaming until my throat literally feels like it's being shredded.

I don't even have the state of mind to realize I am attracting too much unwanted attention, but during those agonizing seconds of pure terror, I can't bring myself to care.

At the edge of my vision, I can see people running, people getting impaled by sharp objects, people throwing bags at their allies who sprint towards the trees or the metallic rides that glisten in the sun. But it's as though I've got tunnel vision, only eyes to see Addie convulse a few times before lying still. Her beautiful hair matted with blood.

I know I'm in the middle of a full-blown panic attack, because tears spring to my eyes, and I have to concentrate all my willpower onto not collapsing onto the pavement I've reached. I'm sweating all over, ripping at my hair, trying to do anything to release the tension that feels like it's going to explode my heart.

I'm shaking so fucking hard.

"No! No, no no no," I keep repeating under my breath, even as the hiccups threaten to drown me completely. It literally feels like my brain is short-circuiting, and I vomit up any food I managed to eat before the flight here.

Addie lies on the ground lifeless, as Geoff collapses on his knees, and then backwards.

My ally…she's…my friend, she's gone!

Why… I don't understand why he had to kill her. I only looked away for a second. She didn't have to die, so why did he kill her right now?

Addie's gone.

I can't seem to grasp that fact as my hands reach out uselessly towards her, even though I know in my heart of hearts that she's dead.

Timestamp – 11:05 AM

Geoff Windsor
District 9 Male, 16

Timestamp – 11:05AM

Fuck… I … I fucking killed her. I didn't mean it.

Oh god, I didn't mean it. I don't know why I did that.

I choke and drop the weapon, scurrying and tripping backwards. I didn't think this was going to be the way things went. I don't even know … what I was thinking.

She… I didn't see her running near me. I was focusing on the running.

I… I don't know why she scared me so much. All I could think was that she was going to take my bag. My bag that I needed to get to my allies. She pushed past me, and I thought she was going to kill me. It's like all my muscles seized up and my vision went red from panic.

She didn't even have a weapon… how could she kill me? How could she?

I didn't have to hit her. Maybe I can get her up.

She didn't even see me coming until she hit the floor.

I look over at her, and the ringing in the base of my brain crescendos into something unbearable.

I… I can't touch her, her eyes are open and she's dead.

I didn't mean for this to happen. Oh by the gods, more than ever before, more even than when my mom died for my stupid mistake with the apple, I want to take back what I've done.

This can't be happening.

I experience the next sequence of events almost as though I am an outsider, an observer removed entirely from the situation.

I look around, and it feels like I'm under water. The glistening structures. The swirl around me as my head spins from the adrenaline and fear.

I see Logan and Jean, holding each other and screaming at me to move away from the bloodbath. They're both standing at the edge of the pavement, where the road becomes overgrown grass once again. Logan is full-on crying, tears making his eyes seem even more brilliantly blue than ever.

I wish I could clap him on the back and tell him everything is going to be fine, but it's not, it's never going to be fine because I killed this innocent girl.

I … please, oh god, can anyone believe me that I didn't mean to?

I want to survive this. I really do, right? So why have my legs turned to lead?

Why can't I move away from this girl… this corpse of a girl who was living and breathing mere minutes ago?

She did nothing wrong to me. She didn't even attack me.

Something inside me snaps as my body goes into full lock-down. The screams around me hurt my ears, and I know I've contributed to this horror, I've caused it I've caused it and I can't undo this…

I'm just a fucking kid, a fucking kid with no clue what to do. A fucking kid that just killed someone. I want to cry so bad, but I'm just there, gawking in horror at what I've done.

I turn around and I see the other girl who was with her in training, screaming. She covers her mouth, choking down a sob just as a scream tears itself from my throat. It's as though we're both stuck in this hell, together, as though screaming and crying will help anything at all.

There's a part of me that wants to run, and I genuinely try to will my brain into making my limbs move, react, do anything that isn't just half-sitting half-standing here like a scarecrow in the middle of this field of death and chaos.

I know I need to go protect my allies, that's why I went into this mess in the first place, right?

But Jessamine, I remember her name in a sudden moment of clarity, just keeps crying, even as she runs away towards the park. I can't see her anymore, physically, but her face paralyses me.

It's a look of absolute horror, grief and failure. I killed her ally, but it looks as though I just shattered all her hopes along with that.

Can't she see I didn't want to kill? I'm… I'm so fucking sorry.

Oh god, I want to die.

That's fucking it for me.

That's when I know it. I know for a fact I can't move from here. I've lost my mind, I've lost any power over my own body and the only thing left is to accept that I'm dying here today.

My reptilian brain, the one responsible for the way I reacted in killing Addie instead of acting rationally, awakens for the second time today. It senses someone approaching from behind, but even now, I can't bring myself to move. I lose track of time, because all I can see are the bright colors surrounding me, and the wailing sound inside my head.

I've done more bad than good in this world, and I've doomed so many people with my stupidity, my brashness and my lack of self-restraint and knowing that breaks something inside of me.

My mom taking my punishment and dying for it…

My own arrogant certainty that I was going to make it out of here, enough to make me volunteer for an absolute stranger…

Killing Addie for no fucking reason at all…

All these feelings become a storm that eclipses all the other noises, the visual input that bombards my eyes.

With even more certainty, I realize I want to die.

I don't know who does it, but my wish is granted swiftly and the last thing I see are my allies backing away into the woods together. Logan is still crying, clutching onto Jean. At least they're together.

The last thought that is truly mine as I feel a blade being drawn across my throat, releasing my blood to seep in spurts onto the pavement, is how the fuck did this go to shit so quickly?

Timestamp – 11:08 AM

Valentino Ricci
District 10 Male, 18

Timestamp – 11:08 AM

She's still alive.

I know she's still alive because I literally run through the goddamn bloodbath to get to her.

She has to be.

Somewhere at the periphery of my vision, I saw Salamandra pick up a bow and a quiver of arrows, but she disappeared in this chaos. The last time I saw her, she was sprinting in the direction of the huge spiraling rides in the distance.

It was maybe minutes, maybe seconds ago.

But my concern doesn't lie with her, right now.

There are screams everywhere. I see people falling down, but somehow, I get to my District partner with no resistance.

I skid on the ground, falling to my knees in front of her body.

"Come on Addie, come on," I mutter under my breath, propping up her head gently and brushing strands of hair out of her face, like she's a little kid.

My hands hover over her, trying to think of any way that I can help. Her eyes are still open, and the muscles tremors are subsiding, and it hits me that she's not breathing.

The screams around me don't stop, but I'm not focused on them. If someone bothered to bash me on the head and end it all, I wouldn't even be able to stop them.

I look down, swallowing the pain.

It wasn't supposed to end this way. Her story wasn't supposed to end now.

We had made eye contact before the bloodbath had started, and there had been no hesitation in her eyes. She was supposed to run away safely with Jessamine.

I had imagined that our tense conversation from yesterday would be nullified by a friendly reunion during the Games.

And yes, it's selfish, but I just wish I could get some closure on this.

There's really no time to process this, as I set her down delicately back on the ground. I hadn't even grabbed a weapon in my haste to get to her, as she was struck down.

If she had lived, this would all have been a different story.

But she's dead, and I stand up, my eyes flitting over to the side. I look up just in time to see her murderer collapse to the ground, his blood seeping out of him. Cira stands above him, her knife shimmering with his blood.

She cut deep, from the way his head lolls back and the blood pools on the ground from his neck. I look away, disgusted.

Her eyes look sad but focused.

"I'm sorry this happened."

"I'm sorry too," I sigh. I don't even know if she hears me over the wind and the screams.

I don't even find the energy in me to feel angry. A normal person would have probably raged that they were robbed of the opportunity to avenge their friend's death.

But at this point, I'm just drained. I'm relieved that Addie's murderer is dead.

Now, I just need to accomplish what I set out to do, or die trying. Except I can't die.

For Addie, for my district, but also for my family who needs me alive.

"You need to go," Cira tells me quietly, pointing her blade at me.

"Yeah, but not yet," I answer, as if on autopilot. I ignore Cira's questioning gaze as I turn my back to her.

Only a crazy person would do that, but… if she wanted to kill me, she would have done it already.

I spare one last painful look at Addie, and set off at a slow pace towards the Cornucopia.

I know for a fact that what I'm looking for is inside. Salamandra couldn't make this easy for me. As I go, I pick up the spiky baton that is soaked in Addie's blood, and keep walking, even as Cira calls out after me.

I fully expect resistance, but I get to the Cornucopia unimpeded. The Careers are probably still busy searching for stragglers, so I don't waste any time and start searching. I find what I need almost instantly, since it's basically a black briefcase.

Just as Salamandra described it. I open it, and surely enough, everything's in there. I empty its contents into my pockets before closing the briefcase. Just in case things don't go according to plan. That's what she said to do.

I grab it by the handle and get ready to sprint away before I get noticed, but I hear voices approaching the Cornucopia. There's no getting out of a fight now. Once again, the feeling of profound emotional exhaustion takes over me, even as my heart's rhythm picks up.

I peak out.

"Everything alright, Seeva?" Ambrox asks, approaching his ally. "It looks as though you saw a ghost."

She looks troubled.

Truly and profoundly shaken.

She's also the only one not holding anything pointy.

Without further ado, I run out and swing at her legs, bringing her down.

She's strong, but I have the element of surprise on my side. She falls hard and drops her club, so I gain the advantage very quickly.

My arm goes around her neck almost immediately and I have her in a chokehold, using her as a body shield to protect myself against any attacks they might think of.

I can feel Seeva's heartbeat hammering at her ribcage. She doesn't make a sound.

"Now, you'll let me go on my merry way, and we can all go unharmed," I tell them calmly, surprised at the evenness of my voice. I'd never be caught dead using this kind of tone with anyone from my District. It sounds alien, unkind and wrong.

"Or, we can kill you," Ambrox counters calmly, swinging his sword from side to side. I see the Four girl's headless body on the ground behind him, and it's not difficult to add both facts together.

Swallowing, I turn my eyes back to him.

"You could, but you'd have to go through her."

"I bet you all the cookies in the Cornucopia that I can cut him away from Seeva before he even notices," Luther exclaims, readying himself.

Ambrox stops him.

"Fine, you're right, let's be diplomatic about this," Ambrox says, rolling his eyes as though this is taking a monumental effort, and I can feel the tension easing up in Seeva's shoulders.

She doesn't think I'm evil enough to kill her, even though I realistically could snap her neck. She's more scared of her allies sacrificing her so early-on in the game, to get to me.

"I mean, if I remember correctly your score of seven might have been slightly underwhelming, but from what I'm seeing, we just got a space that freed up." He motions behind him, at Orla's body.

I can clearly see he's stalling.

He knows I'm not a killer.

All these machinations going on in these people's heads…

I decide to give him what he wants. If I need to fight, I'll fight.

"Nah, I'm good. I've already had a bad day," I respond, pushing Seeva roughly towards the group. "Wouldn't want to relieve you of another more competent member."

"Let's kill him anyways," Ambrox decides and I ready myself, when Cira steps forward.

She hesitates only for a second.

"It's not the time."

"Step aside Cira," Ambrox spits out and Morgana lurches forward, eager to please her ally. Blood on her weapon too.

I stare at her, blankly.

She might be trained, but she'll sustain enough damage before she can take me down. I'll guarantee it.

Instead of stepping aside, Cira actually touches Ambrox's shoulder. The tension skyrockets to unbearable levels.

"Please just trust me that this isn't the time," she whispers, and he turns to her, annoyed.

"Seriously Ambrox, we don't have to kill him right now," Seeva echoes, her voice low.

Just like that, four cannons resonate. One of them is for Addie, I think bitterly.

None of the people in front of me even flinches.

"He won't even be a bloodbath. And besides, we can just catch him later."

"Fine, but he leaves the suitcase," Ambrox agrees finally, and I see his eyes narrow as he assesses me from head to toe. I extend my arm in a peaceful gesture, and set the briefcase down in front of me.

"Go," Cira says, nodding at me. I walk backwards for a few steps, before turning around.

"The big dick energy on you, pretty boy… it won't save you forever," Ambrox calls after me tauntingly.

I walk leisurely away from the Careers and into the park, when the insane rhythm of my heart slows as I get further and further away from danger.

I feel just about ready to collapse.

I'm greeted by a slow clap coming from none other than Salamandra Mitch, perched on top of the fence. It sounds jarring and wrong.

"You motherfucker, that was smooth."

Timestamp - 11:20AM

Mara Griffith
District 5 Female, 18

Timestamp - 11:25 AM

Andy's bleeding all over me and I'm crying so hard I can barely keep myself upright, let alone hold up another injured human being.

I somehow hauled him through the entrance and we've been on the run. We've passed the archway long ago, weaving in between abandoned boutiques and toy stores, reaching the base of one of the large convoluted railways that is erected in what seems to be the middle of the park.

Four cannons sounded, not long ago. Four dead.

He's struggling to speak, and I don't even have to look to know that bitch from Seven probably severed his trachea.

Frankly, I don't know how he's still breathing.

"Please," he chokes out hoarsely. It comes out wheezing, air escaping through the gaping hole in his neck.

I know what that means.

I realize I'm holding a huge dagger in my shaking hand, but I shut that thought down faster than the speed of lightning.

I'm not doing this. There's still a way to fix this.

As though mocking me, the dagger glistens in the sun, reflecting small crystalline spots of lights on the toy store behind us.

The weapon. That's what I went in for.

I told Andy to wait one second. That I wouldn't be long.

But Morgana intercepted me. She was so fast.

As I tried to escape, I led her right to him and even when I tried fighting her, he somehow got injured, stabbed like a pincushion through and through. I should have just led him away… stupid fucking Mara for thinking anything would work in our favour.

The worst part is that it wasn't anything personal. She held no grudge against us, but she needed this done.

I hear footsteps somewhere behind us, and my brain goes back into panic mode.

"Andy, we need to hide," I sob, his weight sagging on me completely. My arm muscles strain but I pay no attention to the rising pain.

Instead, I notice that my entire side is soaked in his blood, and look down in horror. There's just so much more than I'd ever expected to see in my life.

I don't even know if he's still awake or if he's passed out from blood loss.

"I need to help you, I'll help you," I keep repeating like a broken record. It's the only thing keeping me sane right now.

I lay Andy down on some overgrown patch of grass behind a particularly well-hidden boutique. Without wasting a second, I jump over the border, inside the little house, rummaging through all of the drawers, trying to find something that will stem the blood flow.

I can patch him up. That's something people do all the time.

And… And then I'll just get sponsors and he'll be fine. There's so many jokes he can tell about this place. I'll just describe it to him, like I did in the Capitol.

And if we die, we die together, and it'll be a hell of a ride. Because it's a fucking theme park! Because I need this to be infused with a little bit of fucking humor before it all goes to shit. I bite down on my bottom lip to prevent myself from sobbing louder from the rising hysteria.

There's a choked gurgle and I run back out, with some toys that I rip apart in my haste to get to the stuffing. There's cotton inside of toys, and that absorbs liquids like nothing else.

I fall to my knees, pushing the stuffing up to Andy's neck and side, but there's still so much blood.

It takes him so much effort, but he shakes his head. His chest starts spasming, and I think it's from all of the blood he swallowed or choked on, but it starts getting worse.

I've heard of people drowning in their own blood.

"I just wanted to bring you home," I cry, my voice sounding childish and so very heartbroken. "You deserved to come back."

I kiss him on the forehead. His skin is clammy and there's just so much blood smeared everywhere. I take his hand into mine, and he smiles. It's more of a grimace, his teeth stained in red. He's in so much pain, and he's fading fast.

I look up at the sky, helpless and prostrate as though I'm praying. I might as well be.

My words come out in barely a whisper.

"I just need some fucking help. Please. Somebody."

Another cannon rings loud and clear.

Timestamp - 11:35AM

Notes: (crickets chirping) (readers blocking me) (sirens in the distance)

Wow, so this was … upsetting. To me, at the very least. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter for this start of the Games. While I thought there were many heartbreaking moments, I'm still really proud that I kicked off the Games after 169K and something close to 9 months of writing. Please let me know what you thought, your opinion means everything. At worst, you can scream at me about the unfairness of it all… at best, we can catharsis together. I didn't want people to check the note for the deceased-list, so I'll be doing eulogies in the upcoming chapter!

Can you tell me which death was the most upsetting? For me, all of them were, but I am really hoping I did justice to all of the characters. Also, I'm really hoping this chapter wasn't too confusing... I personally had a really hard time conveying that most of the events are actually happening at the same time, so HOPEFULLY the timestamps help a little bit. Please let me know if stuff made sense haha!

On a different and less sad note, you got a very small glimpse of what the arena is like, but I'm incredibly excited to show you what I've got in store. Spoiler alert, it ain't gonna be pretty! Dare I even say… things might get trippy and whimsically horrifying… I can't wait for next chapter.

Peace and love.