Day 2: Evening
Luther Szeto
District 2 Male, 18
I've brought food, supplies and managed to get us a kick ass grill, but I still feel like we've done nothing with our day.
It's not a huge deal, but it's just that everything kind of stopped when Morgana came limping back, supported by Ambrox. It was… not what anyone was expecting, to be honest.
I mean, if you're asking me, I didn't think any of us Careers would be getting our asses handed to us so early on in the games. Especially Morgana… I don't know, she integrated so well within our group that I hadn't even considered she was not the typical Career.
But the way she limped back… she looked pitiful. I don't really like the implications of that.
I guess there is a difference, after all, no matter how much you try to hide it.
I don't say that out loud, though.
It could be seen as a bit insensitive, and I don't have anything against Morgana, personally. Besides, Seeva likes her and I fought with her in training enough to see that she's really good.
And I trust that.
Just weird that she got out-smarted by a small underfed girl from District 11, of all places…
But no.
No point in cluttering my brain with doubt.
I'm not great at getting a read on people, but I know what's bothering her even more than her injuries. It's the self-consciousness that wasn't really there at the surface, before. Maybe that's because of the way everyone is staring.
Seeva is gently rewrapping Morgana's injured knuckles in fresh bandages, throwing out the old ones into the trashcan we dragged to our impromptu camping site, right under the Ferris Wheel.
I look back at it, standing majestic and tall in the middle of everything. Like some watchful eye, spinning around and around like clockwork.
It really is beautiful.
Morgana curses, and I saunter to her side. Cira is already hovering uselessly at her other shoulder.
I peak over the injured girl's head, almost resting my chin on it, and then deciding against it at the last second. We're not that close, and she is sporting a pretty nasty bruise in the shape of a rectangle on her forehead, to boot.
It's almost comical, if I didn't know better.
From my side, I can see that it's more of a scrape than a dent, which is a good sign. The blood has been mostly washed away, and a nasty bluish lump is visible.
A sign of swelling, but hopefully nothing too serious.
The two of us were set up as the patrollers for tomorrow, and I don't want to end up dragging my concussed ally around. It'll definitely dampen the fun.
"So just to get this straight, you climbed up a house and then the girl clonked you in the head with a brick?"
Silence.
I breathe out near Morgana's ear, facing Seeva directly, whose disapproving face is telling me to fuck right off.
But I'm not gonna do that, because I'm bored and it's partly Morgana's fault, indirectly.
"Yes," Morgana manages through her teeth, wincing as another wave of pain probably shoots up into the back of her skull.
"Boring… just like the rest of this day," I intonate, fully aware of how childish I sound. I get a smoldering glare, right back.
Even injured, I'm sure Morgana could headbutt me just to spite me, and I'm not super into breaking my face this early on in the Games.
I circle around her, crossing my arms across my chest and smirking.
She continues eyeing me angrily, her eyebrows furrowed on her forehead.
In response, I cross my eyes at her, pursing my lips together into a tight smile.
"You're so weird, you know that?" she says, and I cock my head to the side, for humorous effect. Maybe it'll weird her out. Maybe it'll make her laugh.
"Don't have anything better to do," I fire back.
If Morgana knows what's good for her, she won't try imitating me. I remember back at the Center, when I was younger and I'd get my ass handed to me by a particularly nasty trainee, I'd often fall on my head. It was like a curse or something, because I doubt anyone out there has sported more undiagnosed concussions than I did.
Athena probably did, but she's a special case for different reasons. Not that she'd be caught dead goofing around, unless Sujax ordered her to.
Either way, crossing your eyes mid-concussion was a wild ride in and of itself.
Instant spinning time, with complementary nausea!
My aunt Roxanne was never happy with me when I did that, when I was stuck at home doing absolutely nothing during the few injury-mandated bedrest days they forced on me. She used to tell me the only reason she didn't smack me across the head even harder was that I sorely needed all the braincells I could keep.
She'd tell me all those stories of athletes from before the war, who would become old and get brain diseases, forgetting who their relatives were and crazy stuff like that. How there was a whole science to these kinds of injuries, and that the effects would catch up to you, sooner or later.
I'd just laugh it off, because her preoccupied medic spiel got old, sometimes.
Everything turned out fine, in the end.
"Hey Morgana, have you ever tried crossing your eyes when you got hit in the head?" I ask her innocently, but she doesn't fall for it.
"Hah hah, dickhead," she mutters under her breath, and I hear Cira release an amused snort before walking away to start the grill. "It's like you want me to die."
I shield my eyes from the sun, walking around the sitting girl. All this walking around to keep the buzzing energy that's got ahold of my body at bay, because I just want to do anything worthwhile!
"You know, at least you got hit in the front of the head," I tap my forehead for emphasis."Apparently, that's the thickest part of the skull."
I look at Seeva for confirmation. She just chuckles. "Exactly the kind of cool facts a person who just sustained a head-hit wants to hear."
"I mean, I don't know any maimed hands facts…" I say, a little lost. Maybe I do actually…
"Yeah no, it's peachy, I'll just kick someone to death, it's fine," Morgana grumbles, thrusting her newly wrapped hands towards me. "That's exactly what the crowds want."
I know I've pushed perhaps a little bit too far.
"It's chill. If someone can do it, it's you," I attempt, trying to be at least somewhat supportive. But Morgana's not in the mood.
"Is there anything I can help you with?" I finally ask crouching down, and Seeva smiles at me.
"It's nice of you to finally offer, but I think we're okay. We've assessed the injuries, and apart from a rough morning tomorrow with all of the bruising from the fall, we should be fine."
I frown.
Everyone's got a job to do… Ambrox is setting up a preliminary alarm system, Cira's gone to cook supper and Seeva is tending to an injured Morgana.
Well, I don't really know how else I can be useful.
"Every time I got hit in the head, light was a bitch and a half," I start again cautiously, trying to keep up a conversation, but Seeva cuts me off.
"Luther, I'm glad you're trying to … connect? But she's really tired. She fell off a building."
I smirk. "So?"
"So… you can go be bored somewhere else and not make it our problem?"
I pout, about to interject, but Seeva gets up and drags me by the arm a bit further away.
"Look, I know you're trying to be nice, but she actually got hurt," my district partner says quietly. "We actually really need someone to go check out beyond Ambrox's perimeter."
I had almost forgotten about that.
"It would be really helpful if you did that," Seeva affirms, looking around.
She sounds like my best friend Alice did, every time she wanted me to get off her case, but I don't take it personally.
After all, that's the excuse I was looking for, to go exploring a bit. To shirk the responsibility of projecting an air of fake sympathy for someone else. Anything to move a little, instead of sitting, hovering around a person who clearly just wants some peace and quiet.
The sun is already starting to set, painting the entire path in a beautiful golden pinkish light. The metallic structures all around us look more imposing than ever, and I get the irresistible urge to just take off running.
Seeva hands me a knife, and I grin at her one last time before I set off.
"Don't go too far, I don't want you to miss supper," she calls after me, and I pretend to not hear her. I'll definitely be late for supper.
In my head, I draw out the paths we've gone through earlier today, and remember all of the cooler-looking rides being situated closer to the park entrance. So naturally, that's where I'm headed.
I pass by Cira who is unpacking some patties and putting them on the grill. A few chopped peeled and chopped up potatoes lie on the side.
"Wanna go explore a bit?" I ask her, and she laughs.
"Dude, you really are that bored on the first real day?"
"Yes...?"
"Well you're on food duty tomorrow, so you better enjoy your freedom while it lasts," she whispers, almost to herself, a genuine smile appearing on her lips.
I nod at her.
"You sure you don't want to come along?" I pause for a second. "I mean, whatever, everyone can wait for food."
She shakes her head, laughing lightly.
"Not pretending to be a detective or anything, but I'm pretty sure you didn't help at all with Morgana's headache, so some food will do her good. You go… I'll tell the others you're patrolling the perimeter."
I take off, only Seeva's small knife down in the strap near my boot. It's almost liberating, after a whole day of carrying the spear around.
I zigzag through the alleyways, passing cotton candy stores, adorned with colorful displays, and small boutiques, with toys in the windows. It almost reminds of the days before the war, with my brother Daniel… but it never looked this nice. The racing was always fun though.
Nothing in District 2 beats the colors out here. As I'm running, dust lightly accumulating behind me as my feet push against the ground, I just focus on all of the novelty around me.
I just wish all of this wasn't so serious. Maybe if it hadn't been the Games, and we didn't have to murder each other, Alice would have had the chance to experience a place like this. My friend would have claimed that this was all beneath her, all the rollercoasters too childish for a scholarly and educated grown-up like her, but I know that deep down inside she'd love it.
Maybe… once I win, I can bring her down here, once the murdering is done and cleaned up. I know they tried something similar with Capitol tourists in Athena's arena, but it didn't go down well with the crowds, considering how hot it was.
But here, everything is just perfect!
Even though I'm completely alone, not a soul around, I smile like a madman, air coming out in controlled spurts out of my parted lips.
It takes me about ten minutes of sprinting like a madman before I stop dramatically, right in front of a huge ride with a gaping monstrous mouth for an entrance. Dimly lit rickety stairs lead deep into the monster's maw, with sharp jagged teeth painted white forming the archway.
"The Beast devours all that venture past, beware," I read, bringing my fingers absentmindedly to the side of the monster's giant gaping mouth.
I grimace right back at the wooden entrance as I pass it, and the lights turn on fully.
The whole ride seems to be working on a loop, as I walk up the wooden stairs only to find myself in a designated waiting area.
"Cool," I say to no one on particular… and jump about three feet into the air when a mechanized voice erupts behind me.
"Ye poor soul! I see you have been devoured!"
I whip my head around, quickly finding the source. A rusty-looking speakerphone hangs on the far-right corner of the waiting area. Right. The whole park's working, everything's electric.
That's how they keep the rides going.
"This is no place for cowards, I must warn ye!" it intonates, and I grin.
"No cowards here," I decide to play along, relaxing a little.
"Your only way out…" the static crackles a little bit for effect as I wait for the end of his sentence, "is through! Come aboard, and battle your way through fear and thrills, to escape…" thunder effects rumble from the speakers, "the BEAST!"
A screeching sound on the ride rails alerts me that the cart has come back into its original place. As we walked past the rides today, we saw the largest ones going around and around, completely empty.
All of this potential fun… completely wasted. It kind of made me upset, even for a few seconds.
"Now now, passengers! Only thirty seconds to get into position."
I'm not totally stupid. This could be a trap by the Gamemakers. I mean… they could just kill me. But what would the point be?
What would Seeva do?
She'd roll her eyes, reluctantly check the entire structure for any suspicious flaws in design and still not go and have fun.
But damn it… Seeva might be leagues smarter than I am, but I don't give a shit. That's what I'm saying about all of these guys being too serious!
I make up my mind, just as the countdown on the red screen at the front of the car reads 15 in bright red numbers.
I'm going to ride this Beast rollercoaster, and there's no one to stop me.
As I sit down, my knees awkwardly hit the front of the cart, and a bar descends onto my lap, automatically.
When I try to lift it up, it doesn't budge.
A small ball of annoyance settles in my throat. Fuck.
Well… I mean, if I miscalculated and this is a trap, killing me now would be pretty easy.
But most importantly, very lame.
No point in worrying about that. I smile at no one in particular, hoping the cameras and especially Athena catch the shit-eating grin on my face, just asking them to smite me down.
Trap or not, I resolve to enjoy the shit out of every moment of this ride. That's what I've been wanting to do all morning, and now it's actually happening!
Any further thoughts flee at a moment's notice, and the cart lurches into motion.
Tik tik tik tik.
I can feel each rail underneath the small cart I'm seated in, with the hits reverberating in the chariots behind me. It goes very slowly, dragging me upwards.
I careen my neck forward, just to be able to see what's ahead. It seems like the cart will be going up for at least another fifty meters into the air, or maybe more.
When I clear the area sheltered by the ride's entrance, I feel like the exhilaration stirring deep within me.
The wind hits my face, and I finally peer around me.
I can see the whole park, in its entirety. If I squint, I can even see movement on the far east side, as well as a lone figure about a kilometer away from where my allies are stationed.
I file that thought away for later.
Instead, I focus on the fleeting colors of the sky, the cotton candy clouds, and the beauty sprawled in front of me. The music sounds distorted, but still so upbeat and carefree, even from this vantage point.
Around me, there are dozens of other rides, as twisty as the one I'm on. But none, apart from the gigantic Ferris Wheel, is as tall as this one.
Tik tik. Tik.
I see now that the ride I'm on has three dips ahead of the one I'm ascending, followed by a complete loop. My stomach lurches at the thought, but the childlike excitement eclipses everything.
Tik. Tik.
For one terrifying second, as I ascend the peak and get a proper look downward, I realize that all the Gamemakers need to do is release the intricate mechanism to see me plummeting to my death.
Everything is still for one second, the wind whipping through my hair and sticking my shirt to my chest as I cling to the metal bar in front of me. I'm only vaguely aware that I'm smiling like a maniac.
Click.
But any coherent thought seems to escape right through the top of my head as the carts suddenly lurches forward, propelling me down the ride. It's like my soul literally leaves, because it can't catch up to the speeding cart. I feel light as a feather.
I want to scream, but the breath is stolen from my lungs. This is what feeling alive is like!
For the first or maybe second time in my life, I truly feel elated and best of all, scared.
Truly and utterly free.
The depth and acuity of the feelings in my chest almost hurts, as I go down down down, and then up, down and sideways as the cars rattle on the ride. It's all so real. It's not empty anymore.
Holy shit.
Liquid accumulates at the corners of my eyes, from the sheer speed of whipping through the air, but I keep them open because I have to keep seeing how I fly.
I wish Alice could experience this.
As I soar through the air, my arms gripping the bar stopping me from flying off into the air, I just can't stop myself from feeling a warm emotion settle at the bottom of my summersaulting stomach.
Mona Tillery
District 9 Female, 13
We're sitting in the dark, now that the sun is slowly setting. The lightbulb above my head flickers hopelessly, and goes out, plunging us into darkness.
Not the most welcoming place, when it's dark. My left arm wraps around my midsection involuntarily, even as my right grips the red rifle tightly.
I watch as Scout scratches his head a little bit, trying to avoid the sensitive area where I knocked him.
I feel a little bad about that, but…
He didn't complain though, and I didn't end up injuring him seriously, so I consider that a win on all fronts. A little lump on the head, and a few scratches… I've had worse after I tumbled headfirst down the hill behind our house.
I can't help but still feel awfully jumpy, and I'm sure ma' and the rest of my folks wouldn't fault me for it. After what I witnessed yesterday, I don't think anyone can leave unchanged, except for the trained ones.
Damn them to hell and back, may they catch the worst of diseases in this stupid arena!
I didn't stay long enough to see what went down, but the five faces I saw yesterday in the sky told me enough.
A few of the weaker ones.
A few that I hadn't really expected, if I'm being totally honest.
I wasn't particularly sad about any of them… just very shaken about everything happening so fast. The fact is that I didn't know them and didn't really have time to be truly broken up about it, that's all.
The first thing I did after I ran away was get my bearings. Scrambled up on the roof of a shack, and outlined the alleyways around me, dotted the different visible rides. To make sure I didn't walk into something completely unexpected.
I tried memorizing the different outlined sections, which is a good thing because very shortly after, all the electricity went out in that sector.
I decided to move just a couple of alleyways down, in the hopes of finding something to snack on, which I was under the impression was plentiful.
Didn't have much luck, in that department, lucky me!
But on the bright side, not long after, I found the saloon and my trusty rifle, so it worked out in my favor. Still, the lack of food started to worry me a bit.
I look at Scout again and he's bent over, keeping his hands pressed on his stomach discretely. Hungry, too.
After I hit Scout in the head, muscle overtaking any logic for the sake of protecting myself and what I've settled into, I really thought this was it. That it wouldn't even take a day before I had to start hurting people to survive.
And even when I consciously realized who was in front of me, the bitter and stinging feeling of rejection from training resurfaced long enough for me to consider hitting him again.
But that wasn't fair!
He didn't have a weapon, and the way his eyes lit up with recognition… I didn't want Barric to see that. I didn't want my brother to think I was morally reprehensible, especially after the way we left things off.
And Barric aside, I'm supposed to be playing up my helpless little girl act, and whacking equally helpless little boys in the head wasn't going to help with sponsors.
So now we're here, sitting in silence. I've decided to help him find his allies.
The allies that he lost in the confusion of the Bloodbath.
It took me a while to make the decision, but I told Scout as much yesterday, after we moved from the saloon once the electricity went out there, too. Maybe that'll be worth something, in the audience's eyes. I can only guess…who knows how these bastards think…
"So, I know we stayed here all evening today, but maybe tomorrow we can go out early, yes?" Scout starts uncertainly, biting his lip.
"Did you memorize the map?" I ask skeptically, pointing at the scribbles drawn in the dust of our little house. "It's not the most accurate, but it'll do for now."
"Yes… I mean, sort of."
"You need to, so that we can get organized about the way we'll be looking for your friends."
We need to be efficient. We can't keep covering the same ground twice, because the more you walk around the more noticeable you are for the hunters.
Scout buries his head back into his hands, staring intently on the swirls on the floor, indicating the paths and rides. He uses the stick I used to trace it out to trace the patterns through the air, his lips moving silently. Right, big wheel. Left, main path.
I knock my head back on the wall, trying to get rid of the stupid headache that started earlier today.
"It's so weird, they kept turning off the electricity from every place I went to," I muse out loud, tapping one clean fingernail on my lip. "At first I thought it was just the lights malfunctioning but it's like…"
I interrupt myself.
"Besides, it's not a big deal now, but I think we need to start planning for food, because there's not much of it around here. Once we set out, we'll need to focus on that as well as finding your allies. Equally important."
I have a theory. Took me a bit of time to figure it out, and maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I think they're turning off the lights on us because they want us to migrate closer to the action.
Ma' would do that, whenever there was a particularly noisy and large moth stuck in our house. Turn off all of the lights apart from one to trap the insect in a kill box and squash it. The moth would without fail flock to the light.
Between Scout's placement right next to the most dangerous tribute in our games, to the all-too-convenient power outage in every inhabitable place I settled on, to the suspicious lack of food in our area... it's feeling too premeditated to be random if you ask me.
They're clearly trying to either pit us against the older kids or get rid of us as quickly as possible. But the joke's on them, because if they think I'm just going to take it like a docile little lamb, they are sorely mistaken.
"I have a plan."
"Oh, great!" Scout sighs, clearly relieved. "I was honestly thinking we'd just go looking around, once the dark really settles. I guess the Careers might not be as active, but I can't really know for sure and- "
I interrupt him impatiently, stealing the little stick and tapping it for emphasis on the dusty surface.
"You need to agree to my demands, first."
Scout nods, a little lost. "Of course! Anything!"
"I will help you on the condition that no one… no ONE from your team shoots at me. If they do…" I think about I for a second. "Well there's not much that I'll be able to do, but trust me that it's not honorable."
"Second: I will be allowed to twenty percent of the food shares your team has. I'll trade you for them, and leave. And finally, none of you will attack me until at least the final 8."
Scout giggles nervously. "Why the heck would we?"
"It's the goddamn Hunger Games, Scout, not some stroll at the grocery store!" I snap, angry at his lack of understanding. We are talking life and death here!
We're the same age, for god's sake, so why am I the only one making any lick of sense?
"I know, I know, I'm really thankful you're doing all of this for me. But I promise they won't hurt you."
"Okay," I finally settle on.
Scout nods, looking a little confused. As though my concerns are anything but justified.
He's very kind… not a single bad bone in his body. A little clueless too, but I guess that's to be expected with really nice people. But he's like a bleak little moth. I just need to make sure we both don't get squashed.
"So, back home, what do you like?" I ask him, smiling timidly. I just want to change the subject so he stops staring at me with those lost puppy eyes.
"Um… I guess… I have my friend Alex. I think you'd really like them."
He looks really lost, so I encourage him to keep talking.
"There was also Trinity. I wanted to bring her to the arena with me, but they wouldn't let me. She was this little rat, but very feisty. We had a cage for her and everything, but we'd usually let her roam free. Just as long as other people wouldn't see too much of her…"
Scout's voice drops to a whisper, even though there's no one else around. "You know how people feel about rodents…"
"Yeah… especially in District 9," I laugh. "If there's an infestation, they eat your grain and stuff. But I don't know, I always found mice and rats cute. Always made me real sad when I saw them dead in traps and stuff."
"Yeah I was always so scared Trinity would wonder into one," Scout muses, scratching his head again. "But she was so smart. It's like she knew. She was a clever one."
"Ferrets are my favorite animal, though," I admit. "I don't know, there's something just so… cute and cuddly about them? And they're small. Not intimidating or anything… you can hold them and they look at you like you're their whole world."
Scout nods, without a doubt remembering his own pet he left behind.
"Wicked smart too, like rats," I continue. "I remember once around the fields, I found a group of abandoned ferret babies, and I just loved them so much. My ma' didn't want us to keep 'em because she thought they'd have some sort of disease, but I kept one around for a few months until it grew and started running 'round the house."
I sigh sadly. "Ma' made me get rid of it, but I still think of how cuddly the ferret felt. Don't think she coulda given me a disease even if she wanted to."
Scout comes a little closer.
"Yeah my mom wasn't a fan of me keeping Trinity, but I convinced her."
"When my ma' sets her mind on something, forget about convincing her," I joke, and immediately bite my tongue. "Sorry ma', I ain't trash talking, you're great."
We settle back into silence, but it's much more comfortable this time around.
"Little animals are nice," Scout admits.
"Yeah," I agree.
"Did you hear the sounds yesterday?"
Now it's my turn to nod. Despite the warmth, I get little goosebumps all over my arms.
Scout presses further. "What do you think the roars were from?"
I shrug. "Prolly' not the kind of cute little animal we've been talking about."
Scout shakes his head, as though in disbelief. "I was just listening and they kept getting louder and louder, but I'm thinking whatever it is was still in the forest."
"I mean yeah, from my estimates, because we circled back quite a bit, we're the closest to the park's exit. But I didn't see nothing come out of the woods. And remember… no cannons today. Meaning whatever it is … it's probably just meant to scare us to stay in the park."
Scout scuttles over even closer, his arms almost touching mine.
"I really hope it doesn't come our way."
"Yeah me too."
"Well, you saved me, so if a monster came around here, I'd try my best to protect you."
I laugh a little too loudly.
"No offense Scout, but you're so small. I hit you and you went down, and by the sound of it, the monster, whatever it is, is too big to handle by anyone," I counter, matter-of-factly. "The best we can do is stay out of its way and hide."
"Yeah, but I'd still try," he blushes, rubbing his hands together as though embarrassed. His ears become bright red.
He's sweet, I think childishly. Too sweet for a place like this.
But I can't keep thinking like this. Momo was sweet too, and he's one of the lucky ones that got out and is allowed to still keep breathing.
Between the very pressing threat of starving and dehydrating if we stay holed up in our shack, the seemingly terrifying beast roaming the forest and the Careers threatening to cut us out of existence, I can get really overwhelmed really fast.
On the bright side though, Scout is not half-bad. And maybe if I help him find his allies, they might have something to offer to me that might just make a difference.
Only time will tell. And I ain't gonna spend that time being afraid of monsters I can't see.
That's the Mona before the training, before the interviews, before the Bloodbath.
But we've got a plan, and I've got a boy who, for all intents and purposes will follow me in whatever I decide to do, as long as it brings him closer to his allies. And maybe… maybe that'll show the audience I'm worth keeping around, instead of turning off the stupid electricity wherever I go!
I look at Scout.
"So, tomorrow. We're up early before the sun. We'll have to assume that Careers are hunting and patrolling during the day and night, so they'll be less likely to do that very early in the morning. We start combing through the park from the side with highest likelihood of people."
"Yep," he says, repressing a smile.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing. I'm just glad… I got pretty lucky, you know."
I snort. "I don't know about lucky… pretty sure the twenty-four people stuck in these games are the opposite of lucky."
"No but I mean like… I made friends with Bex and Cassie and Roizer. And even when I lost them, I found you and that's pretty great."
"Oh."
"My mom told me I should make friends, and I just really lucked out on that."
Scout grins at me, and it's an earnest smile. "So, thanks for everything, really. The plan sounds solid and really smart."
I grin back, fighting back a yawn, to avoid Scout apologizing and offering to stay up instead. "Alright, I'll wake you up when we need to go. Get some sleep, you sappy kid."
"Hey, we're the same age!"
Mara Griffith
District 5 Female, 18
Ever since I willed myself to move away from Andy, I've crawled on all fours into this open shop and stayed here.
Didn't do much, either. Just cried a lot.
Didn't even bother looking for food, even though my stomach is starting to protest. No point in looking for food in this state.
From previous games, I know how you have to be a certain distance from the corpse for the hovercraft to come pick it up, and the couple of times I ever bothered to watch closely, I always marvelled at the stupidity of the tributes who clinged to their allies' bodies, crying, screaming hysterically sometimes.
Some of them had to be physically pried off or shocked back by the hovercraft claw.
I always found it weird… the body is just a husk. And in a life-or-death situation, you'd think humans would have the survival instinct to recognize that and flee as soon as that happened. Cut your losses, even if it's painful.
But finding myself in that situation… I couldn't leave. It's so hard to put together the fact that there was person and now there's not.
Can't stop crying at that awful realization cycling through my head.
At least, no one found me.
A wordless cheery melody plays from a speaker somewhere in the shop.
It's the same goddamn song playing on a loop, and I've only started noticing in the past few hours, as I subconsciously hum it.
A part of me wants to rip the speaker right off the wall. Nothing warrants this kind of happiness in a place like this.
But it's the only thing I'm hanging onto, the only little thread of reality I still have a grasp on.
The dusk really looked magnificent, replaced by the darkened skies. The same skies where Andy showed up looking clean and happy and not-bleeding, confirming to me that this was truly happening.
This entire fucking place is just that. So hauntingly beautiful on the surface, but absolutely rotten and warped to the core.
That's the only way I can justify my friend's death.
I sniffle a little, dragging my knees back towards my face. Making myself as small as I physically can.
They say time heals all wounds, but my time here is limited and the awful despair only got worse as the hours dragged on.
There's nothing that I can do to fix this. And perhaps if we're thinking more selfishly, there's nothing here that can fix me.
For what feels like the millionth time, tears start to leak out of my aching eyes. The trails they leave almost feel like they'll be burrowed in my skin for the rest of my life.
Could Andy cry? He didn't at all, when we were in the Capitol.
But now I'm trying to remember whether he did, in those last moments. From the pain… probably not from sadness. I know he made peace with his death when I was in absolute denial, still.
Did he?
A small beeping noise draws me from my reverie, right behind the open shop.
Slowly, I raise my head and peek at the parachute that elegantly lands on the small path, lit up by many multicolored lanterns. The surface of the parachute looks so infinitely shimmery, or maybe it's a trick of the light.
Maybe it's just that my eyes are permanently glazed over with tears.
There's no mistake though, this package is definitely for me, considering there isn't anyone in a few miles' radius.
My knees aching from staying in a prone position for too long, I stand up and wearily approach it, knife thrust in front of me. It's the only thing I've kept from before I let the hovercraft take my friend's body. The hoodie is gone too, because I couldn't bear looking at the dark stain on its side.
His blood all over it.
I shudder just at the memory.
You'd think someone like me from the scummiest place of District 5 would get used to death by now. You'd think someone who has seen dozens of people drop like flies surrounded by sparks of electricity would be immune to the thought of death.
I pick up the package attached to the parachute and open it.
It's a small cupcake, with galaxy blue frosting on top, sporting a lone candle.
Andy.
I instantly shatter, as if I am an expensive porcelain cup being dropped onto a concrete floor.
There's no closure to this… I can't pretend like there could ever be.
I know exactly what this means, but I can't … I just can't come to terms with the unfairness of it all!
My knees sting from sinking to the ground so quickly, cradling the pastry in my hands as though it's priceless.
It is, to me.
I imagine Triss somewhere, in a control room, watching over me. I know he liked Andy more. Hell, I liked Andy more. But Triss is the kind of person to really shoulder this kind of pain. Even though he only knew us for a couple of days, I could see that he really genuinely cared.
And I failed him, too.
I look up at the sky for guidance, and receive nothing else. You need to move on. For some reason, the words are in Andy's voice.
And maybe that's the moment I finally crack, because first I start humming, and then singing.
"Happy birthday, to you," I whisper brokenly, sobs threatening to overtake me. I've gone crazy, and I only imagine how scary I must look, crouching over this tiny sad-looking cupcake like some haggard witch.
But, I need to get through the fucking song. As though possessed, I stumble back into the shop, looking through drawers upon drawers of useless equipment, until I find a tiny lighter. I light the candle, and continue the song.
I've failed my friend too many times to count.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday d-dear…" I push my face into my dirty palm, overwhelmed by another wave of heartbreak and grief. It takes me a few minutes to compose myself, and by that time, the small paraffin candle is already half-burnt, the wax pooling on the blue swirly frosting.
I take a deep breath.
"Happy birthday, dear Andy…" my voice breaks something awful at the mention of his name, as though I didn't repeat it over and over again, begging for him to come back a mere day before.
"Happy birthday to you."
My lips trembling only slightly, I blow out the candle, a tragic echo of our little birthday-in-advance party with Triss back in the Capitol. The flame flickers momentarily, as though defying me, but dies out.
I paw at my face, feeling drained… just so emotionally exhausted.
"Thanks, Triss," I whisper, taking out the candle and breaking it in two. In a poor imitation of a toast, I raise the little cupcake to the sky. "Hope you're happy Andy… wherever you are."
I bite into the cupcake.
The pastry is noticeably a few days old, causing another ache to take hold of my heart. Andy was still alive when we made this. He was still laughing and alive.
But I need to stop breaking down every time I think of what happened. I have to… to honor his memory. So, I delicately nibble on the cupcake, savoring every flavor, and even the small clumps of salt.
I treasure those especially.
As I finish up the cupcake, I realize just how hungry I actually am, an involuntary sigh of satisfaction building up within me at the small amount of food.
The sigh is caught in my throat as I hear a shuffle behind my store.
Fuck. In my haste to get back inside, I left the parachute in the middle of the path…
Stupid Mara!
I must look like a wild feral animal as I whip my entire body through the doorframe, knife angled directly at the intruder.
A lone dark figure peers at me in alarm, crouching by the open window of my shop.
I almost stick him there and then.
"That was… really sad," Abel remarks nonchalantly, but I can see that his dark eyes are also weighed down by … something indescribable for me, at the moment. It's also sadness, but it's off, somehow. To come to think of it, he also looks unbearably exhausted.
I scan him for weapons, and find a very real and very sharp knife pointed at my lower abdomen. But he doesn't look like he's going to lunge.
A huge burlap sack is thrown across his shoulders, filled to the brim with provisions.
"What. Do. You. Want," I hiss at him. It's the first words I've spoken to another live human being since… since Andy.
I sound so hostile.
"I'd like to not get stabbed, for starters," he answers, opening his free hand and slowly inching himself to his full height.
"You can carry on," I answer defiantly. "If you want to fight, we'll fight right here."
"I don't want to fight," he answers, and again, the tiredness is just all-encompassing, as though it's physically dragging him down. "I'm sorry for your ally."
I just nod. As though it didn't completely destroy me from the inside out. "I saw… I saw him yesterday in the sky. It sucks."
"Yeah," I answer, because there's nothing better to say.
"Here," Abel starts, reaching behind him before stopping himself and raising his hands in self-defence once again, when I raise my knife. "I won't hurt you, I just want to get food out of my bag."
He does it slowly, reaching for a bag of circular breads.
"Thanks for the fucking buffet, I'm not hungry," I spit out, even as my stomach growls in protest.
"Look, Five, I'm trying to be nice," his tone becomes icy, and my frown deepens.
"My name is Mara," I respond in like, and I see him physically wince. Andy wanted him to know our names so he wouldn't hurt us. Maybe that's why…
"I know, just- I'm sorry. Take the food, I've got plenty more."
I grab the bag and retreat to the furthest corner of the store.
We sit in complete silence, with only the cheerful music cutting through the air. I try to chew slowly, but can barely keep myself together as I taste the bread. It feels so unbearably good. It's only been a day and a half… for the first time, I wonder how those kids who starve for days on end are able to fight so spectacularly at the end.
Even Triss last year went days without eating before his anti-climactic finale, and he was still sharp as a knife, mentally-speaking.
I guess the desire to live really wins over anything.
I keep chewing, relishing in this if nothing else.
"Why?" I ask, and when Abel doesn't ask for clarification, I continue. "Why did you come to me, if you supposedly didn't give the tiniest shit back in the Capitol?"
He shrugs, still with the same cold disposition.
"I felt bad for you."
I don't answer, and the silence drags on. Finally, as his eyes begin to droop, I tighten the grip on my knife as the thought of harming him springs to mind. Anything to divert the attention away from the raw wound that is my scattered mind.
"If you don't tell me the truth right now, I'm going to kill you," I decide on. He snaps back to attention, and brings his hand to his face. God, he really does look tired.
"Look, honestly, I … I thought I was ready because I am … stronger than most of the tributes. I was ready to fight it out, to sneak around the Careers, to scavenge for food."
I could bet my life on the fact that he hasn't spoken as many words to anyone in a while. Certainly didn't in the Capitol.
"I just… I didn't know I'd get so tired. I'm so tired."
"Andy…" he hesitates, as though he's revealed some deep secret, before continuing. "I think we could watch each other's backs. For the time being, before shit hits the fan."
He says it so matter-of-factly that I almost miss the tiny hitch of desperation.
I mull it over, as my brain sluggishly weighs the options. I could see in Andy's face that he wanted me to ally with this guy.
Somehow, he saw something worthwhile in this angry boy from District 12, and I'll be damned if I'm stupid enough to not listen to him now.
"Fine." I acknowledge tersely, before ripping apart another plastic bag and biting into the literal peace offering in the shape of a circular bread cut in half.
"Besides, that's what your district partner was hinting at the entire time we were training," Abel justifies, even as I see his entire body relax incrementally.
He closes his eyes and looks so relieved.
"He's probably somewhere laughing his ass off at me, right now," I mumble into my arm, and with his eyes still closed, Abel smiles. Honest to god, didn't think he was capable of that, from the way he was brooding at the Capitol every time our paths crossed.
My face doesn't change from the stony expression it's been chiseled into, but this is as good as it's going to get, right now.
Andy, you better be right about this.
But deep down in my heart, I know he was right, and I damn the universe for taking him away from me.
The lights and music in the shop dim, a prelude to the anthem starting, and both Abel and I look into the sky by habit, even though no cannons sounded. It's crazy how quickly you get conditioned to do something that otherwise would look insane.
The seal of our nation appears in the sky, solemn, even as the music rings loud and clear.
No deaths.
And one entire day since… since I lost my district partner.
I look at Abel, and see him staring back at me.
"I'll take first watch," he offers, and I object immediately.
"You look like shit."
His mouth quirks up, a humorless smile gracing his lips once again. I'm on a roll.
"You look so much worse. You'll take the next watch shift."
Reluctantly, I set my head on the floor, using my arms as a pillow.
"Don't stab me," I warn him, deadly serious, and get a glare in return.
"I wouldn't dream of it, although you clearly look like you'd love for me to do it," he shoots back.
Maybe some sleep will make me reconsider that. Maybe not. Only time will tell.
Notes: Hey folks, hope everyone is doing great ! I really tried to make this chapter (a mixed bag of emotions for all the characters involved) as much of a respite from death as possible, because stuff is kicking back into sixth gear in the upcoming days of the Games.
Happy birthday to Andy! For any of you who are sad, just think about him chilling in the afterlife, showing everyone proudly how he singlehandedly orchestrated the Abel/Mara alliance.
Fun fact, I initially wanted to release this chapter on my birthday, but then life became overrun by exams and other equally annoying garbage, so here it is, a few days later than I wanted. As I begin my 23rd revolution around the earth (or 24th, I guess? I ain't too good with numbers it seems), I just want you all to know that this story has been an epic endeavor I've finally decided to undertake over the past year, and I'm dedicated to bringing you more chapters now that I'm older and (hopefully) wiser.
Peace and love.