Warning: This story is nothing but angst. If you do not like angst then please do not read this story and just go to the next one. I don't want to upset anyone. The pairing is still Nalu, but it hardly talks about their relationship, besides them being married.

I edited this story, but I did not proofread. I just couldn't bear it. I'm sorry if there are some mistakes, but I just can't read through it again. This story is based on my true story... If at anytime you don't want to read this, please leave this page. I don't want to force anyone to be uncomfortable. This story is an angst story with an unhappy ending. Please keep that in mind while reading.

Summary: Life is unfair. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, but it's much worse when it happens to an animal who never did a bad thing in their life. This is the story of how Natsu lost Happy. Warning, character death.

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Nalu

Word count: 12,678

I miss you

January

It started with a lump. Natsu was playing with Happy like normal, rubbing his belly to get the little blue cat to purr, when out of nowhere he felt an odd lump on his stomach.

"Hey Lucy!" He called, fingers staying on the spot. "Can you come here for a second?"

"Yeah," he heard her voice from the other room. Natsu's eyes stayed on Happy, swearing that the little guy had a smile on his face as he waited to be pet again. "What is it?" She said when she entered the living room.

"Feel right here," Natsu said, waiting until her fingers overlapped his before taking them away. "Does that feel weird?"

"Actually... Yeah, it kinda does..." Lucy's eyebrows furrowed together as she felt around the small lump. "I wonder what that is... Was it there before?"

"I don't think so," he shook his head. Happy had been his pet since birth, and he'd never felt a lump on him before in the almost fourteen years that he'd had him. "Should I get him checked out?"

"Maybe," Lucy twisted her lips as she thought. "Maybe we should wait a bit, see if it gets worse. It doesn't seem to be bothering him right now..."

"I guess you're right," Natsu picked up his cat, then set him in his lap. "Who's the best kitty in the world?"

Lucy chuckled as she watched her husband scratch Happy's chin. "You two are too cute." Her small smile faded when she heard the sound of boiling water burst out of the pot in the kitchen. "Shit! I forgot I'm cooking!"

As she scrambled out of the living room, Natsu laughed. He glanced down at his purring feline, smiling when he said, "it's probably nothing..."

February

"Hmm," the vet hummed as she felt Happy's stomach. Said cat was growling, clearly not liking being handled by someone who wasn't Natsu or Lucy. "It feels like a growth." She released the cat, watching as he tried to shrink in on himself. "You have a few options. You can either get it removed, or we can wait to see if it gets bigger."

Natsu frowned, looking down at his frightened cat. "It's already gotten bigger..."

Lucy set a hand on Natsu's shoulder, pulling him away from his troubled thoughts. "How do you remove it? Is it just surgery?"

"Yes," the vet said. "We made a small incision and remove whatever's in there. If you want we can also do a biopsy to see what exactly it is."

"Why would you need to do that?" Natsu asked, his hand stroking through the blue fur of his friend.

The vet gave him a wane smile. "To see if it will come back. You don't have to get it if you don't want to."

"How much will this all cost?" Lucy asked, feeling a strain in her throat. They were willing to pay whatever cost it was to take care of Happy, but they weren't exactly made of money. Natsu made just enough to cover their rent, two car payments, and food, while Lucy made enough to cover the rest. Seeing as they were both twenty-four years old, they hadn't thought a lot ahead on savings and retirement, so for the mean time they lived paycheck to paycheck with a little wiggle room.

"Let me go check," she said before leaving the small room, leaving the two of them alone with Happy.

Once she was gone, the cat seemed to perk up. He stood up, looking around his surroundings as Natsu and Lucy started to talk. "Have you ever had an animal go through surgery?" He asked, biting his lip. The idea scared him, worried that something might go wrong.

"Only when Plue got neutered," she sighed. "But I think that's a little different." Her pit bull's procedure was routine, with little risks.

"Yeah," Natsu looked down at Happy, smiling to himself when he felt the small vibrations stirring up in his cat. "I'm sure it'll be fine..." Despite saying that, he felt a little nauseous.

March

"Hi, what can I help you with?" The lady at the front desk asked when Natsu and Lucy showed up.

"Hi... I'm here to pick up Happy." Natsu eyed the white board behind them. He felt a little better seeing the message they wrote: Wishing a speedy recovery to Happy. It made him feel like they cared about his animal almost as much as he did.

"Okay, let me go get him. You can meet us over next door to make it easier." With that, the woman disappeared and Natsu and Lucy exited the waiting room to go to the pet supply store next door.

The vet they took Happy to was the friendliest place in Magnolia. They could always go for the higher rated ones, but that came at a price. The same surgery would have easily cost them double. They already knew this place was great, even if it didn't have a brand name attached to it. The service and quality of the vets and medicine was all that mattered to Natsu.

"Let's see," the man at the register started. "It looks like you guys already paid the $75 deposit, so your total will be $351."

Natsu's cheek twitched at that total. He swiped his credit card, already casting away the negative thoughts about dropping that much money at once. It was just $10 more than Lucy's monthly car payment, but Happy was worth it. He would always be worth it.

"Just need you to sign here," the man said as he handed Natsu a pen with the receipt. He signed quickly, then passed it back. He was anxious to get his little friend back.

Natsu had to drop Happy off this morning at seven. He was told his cat couldn't have anything to eat or drink for twelve hours before, making Happy a very unhappy camper. The earliest they said he could pick Happy up was at three in the afternoon, so here he was at three sharp.

"They'll be out with Happy in a minute."

While Natsu waited there, Lucy walked around the pet shop to see if there was anything interesting they could get for Happy or Plue. She smiled at the little E-collars for cats, thinking they looked adorable. She could only imagine how silly Happy would look if he had to wear one. Plue had to wear one twice in his life. Once was when he was neutered, and the other was when he got pink eye. If only her dog wouldn't have caught it at the dog park, but that was another story.

Natsu heard Happy before he saw him. The loud growls were hard to miss. "He's a little grumpy," a woman in scrubs said as she brought the cat carrier out, containing the pissed off feline.

"Hey Happy," Natsu tried to soothe the angry cat, but it did little to help calm him down. "So are we free to go?"

"Yup," she nodded as she handed over the carrier. "Here is the instructions for the aftercare. It's pretty straight forward. Don't let him lick at the stitches, make sure he doesn't get them wet... In eight to ten days come back in to get his stitches removed."

"Okay," Natsu said, glad when Lucy showed up beside him to grab the papers the lady was trying to hand him. "And umm... When do we find out what it was?"

They went ahead and paid for the biopsy, even thought it cost $125 plus the $6 biohazard disposal fee. They wanted to make sure whatever it was wouldn't come back.

The lady smiled down at the carrier. "The biopsy usually only takes a few days, so you'll receive a call when it's back."

"Thanks," Natsu said before taking a step back.

"You guys take care. Bye Happy!" The lady said, receiving a hiss for a response. "He's a little feisty," she commented before the two started walking towards the door.

"Sounds like someone I know," Lucy whispered, throwing a knowing glance at Natsu.

The usually go-happy guy tried to smile, but something in the back of his head was nagging at him. He couldn't help but shake the unsettling feeling.

April

"Hey guys," Gray greeted when Natsu opened the door. "Am I early?"

"Nope, right on time," he said, swinging the door open to let Gray and Juvia in. They passed Natsu to go to the kitchen where Lucy, Levy, Gajeel, Erza, and Jellal were already at.

Natsu closed the door, then started heading to the kitchen with them, even though it was getting pretty crowded. They were throwing a small get together. There wasn't exactly a reason why, mainly just that the weather was starting to warm up and it was the first barbecue of the season.

While Lucy worked on the side dishes and talked to the girls, Natsu headed outside with the guys so he could start up the grill. They weren't doing anything fancy, just hot dogs and burgers. No one minded, as long as they got to hang out together.

"Hey little buddy," Gajeel said as he bent over to pick up Happy.

"Careful," Natsu warned, though his tone was still the same. "He had a tumor on his stomach."

"A tumor?" Gajeel repeated, then gently felt around on the feline's stomach. "Oh, you mean this bump? Are you sure it's not scar tissue from the surgery?"

Natsu was glad he was facing away from his friends. They wouldn't have to see the dullness to his green eyes as he dumped the charcoal in the grill. "I'm sure... It's gotten bigger..." It had been almost a month since Natsu received the worst call of his life.

Natsu was getting ready for work, just like any normal day when his phone started to ring. He answered it, not thinking anything of it as he said, "hello?"

"Hi, this is-" The vet introduced themselves. He hardly remembered her name since at the time he was more focused on his cat. "Is this a good time?"

"Uh, yeah," he said, holding the phone between his ear and shoulder as he buttoned up his pants. "What's up?"

Her voice returned. "It's about Happy... We got his biopsy back."

Natsu's hands stopped moving. "You did?"

"Yes. I'm afraid it's not good news."

Natsu's heart began to sink as he asked, "what is it?"

"Happy has mammary cancer," she honestly sounded apologetic. "It's rare in male cats, but it does happen."

"Oh..." He grabbed the phone, sitting on his bed. "So what do I do?"

There was a silence before she spoke. "I'm afraid there's not much that can be done. About 80% of mammary tumors are malignant. Meaning it might grow back."

"... I see..." Natsu swallowed hard. "So, there's nothing?"

"The only options are more surgeries if it grows back, or possibly chemotherapy, but we can talk about that more when you come in to get his stitches removed. That's in a few days right?"

"Y-yeah," Natsu felt the shakiness of his breath. "We were planning to c-come in Friday..."

"That's good," she paused before saying, "I'm very sorry to have to tell you this..."

"It's okay," Natsu felt like his stomach was empty, even though he'd eaten less than an hour ago. "N-not your fault..."

"We'll see you in a few days, goodbye," she said before hanging up the phone.

Natsu let his phone drop to his side. He stared at the wall, but he couldn't really see anything. It all felt so unreal. As if sensing his distress, Happy jumped onto the bed to lay beside Natsu. He glanced down, seeing the sweet cat curl up.

He slowly pet his feline, a broken smiling rising on his face. "Hey Happy..." His voice was hoarse as the tears welled up. "You're a good kitty, aren'tcha." Happy only responded with a deep purring noise. That's when the tears finally fell down his cheeks. "Y-yeah, s-such a good k-k-"

He couldn't finish the sentence.

May

"Are you ready?" Lucy asked, coming down the hall with two bags. "Natsu?" She looked around until she found him in the living room with Happy on his lap. "Hey, what's wrong?"

He looked up at her, a forced smile on his face. "Nothing."

"Don't lie to me," she said as she set down the bags. "Are you worried about leaving?"

Natsu tried to control the trembling of his bottom lip. "K-kinda..."

Lucy slowly walked over to him, then sat down on the couch beside him. "You already told Gray everything he needs to know. It'll be fine. We're only going to be gone for a few days, and if anything happens we're a phone call away. Hargeon isn't that far away..."

"I know," he gently pet Happy's back. As much as he didn't want to, his hand slipped under him to feel at his stomach. "It's getting bigger..."

Lucy could only frown. "I know... I felt it this morning..."

"What do I do?" He asked, feeling the medium-sized lump on the cat's belly. There was no denying it anymore. It definitely wasn't scar tissue. It had been almost two months since the surgery. Plus it only got bigger as time went on.

Lucy wrapped an arm around her husband, then rested her cheek against his shoulder. "There's not much we can do, besides get the surgery again..."

"It won't help," he said, his eyes pricking with the familiar sensation. They found out the chemotherapy option wasn't exactly a cure. It would just prolong his life, maybe. It only had a 50% success rate, and even then it wasn't really success since it didn't actually get rid of it.

Natsu swallowed past the lump in his throat. "It'll just grow back again..."

"I know," she said, her own resolve crumbling. She was trying to be strong for Natsu, but it was hard when her own heart hurt. Despite knowing Happy for less time, she still felt a bond with him. He was like family to her, even if at first she couldn't stand him. He could be annoying at times.

"There's not much we can do right now," Lucy said, giving his arm a squeeze. "So let's just go to the convention." She desperately hoped that would cheer him up. They'd been excited about going to the anime convention since the last one ended a year ago. "It'll be our first time cosplaying."

Natsu let out a chuckle. "Yeah, you're right..." He leaned over, kissing Happy's head despite the cat's protests. He quickly jumped away from his owner waddling over to the water bowl to get a drink.

Plue walked up beside him, eyeing the water bowl as he waited for his turn. The cat looked up, pawed at the dog, then returned to drinking. Natsu and Lucy laughed at their playfulness. They didn't exactly get along, but they did coexist well enough.

"Let's get going before you change your mind," Lucy stood up, walking over to the bags.

"Okay," he nodded, willing away the unshed tears as he got on his feet. "But you're driving."

"Don't I always?" She asked, smiling when he grimaced, probably thinking about the drive. "Just make sure you take your pills this time."

"Yeah yeah," he smiled weakly as he went to the bathroom to grab his medication. Before they left, he gave Happy a few pets. "I'll see you soon," he promised, then made his way to the door. "Bye guys," he said before locking up the door, then slipped the key under the rug for Gray.

June

"Fuck," Natsu clenched his teeth when he felt Happy's belly. Instead of the large lump on his stomach, he felt that and multiple little bumps all around it. "It's spreading..."

Lucy watched, staying silent since she didn't know what to say. 'I'm sorry' hardly seemed to work. It only seemed to make Natsu more upset. She knew how important Happy was to him, so to see him go through this was heart breaking.

"It's pressing against his skin," Natsu said to himself, staring at the cat's belly. He could see the skin already stretching a little, though it didn't look that bad. "I wonder why it's doing that..."

Lucy stayed quiet, not knowing the answer to that question either.

July

"Path of least resistance?" Natsu questioned as he stared at the vet. "What does that mean?"

"The tumor is moving where it's easiest to travel. Instead of moving inward, it's moving outwards towards the skin..."

Natsu furrowed his brows, his gaze dropping to his growling cat. "So... Is his skin gonna be able to keep it in?"

The lady sighed before saying, "if we're lucky. The real issue is if it spreads to his lungs."

"I remember you saying that," he slowly nodded, recalling her saying something like that when she removed his stitches. "Do you know how long he has?"

Lucy's breathing stopped when he asked that question. She'd been wondering herself, but she didn't dare saying anything on the matter, not wanting to upset her husband. She stayed quiet as she held Plue's leash. They were getting Happy checked out before they were going to give Plue his vaccinations since he was due for some.

The vet looked down at Happy. "Honestly I don't know. If he's still eating, drinking, and doing what he's always been doing, then he probably has a while."

"He was trying to catch two birds that got trapped in our back patio the other day," Natsu laughed to himself, thinking it was adorable to see the blue ball of fur hunt down the two birds. He was unsuccessful, but he did manage to hit one with his paw before they escaped.

"See, that's good," the vet smiled, then tried to pet Happy. Said cat only growled at her hand until she brought it away from him. "He really doesn't like me, does he?"

"He's like that with anyone he doesn't know," Natsu found himself actually smiling. Happy was still acting himself, even with the tumors growing inside him.

"Good to know," she nodded. "So, you came to get them vaccinated?"

Natsu's smile faded instantly when he was hit with reality again. "I-I was actually going to ask if it's even worth getting him vaccinated," Natsu stroked Happy's fur. "Since he... he probably doesn't have much time left..."

"Well, you said he's going outside? On the patio?"

"Yeah," Natsu nodded.

"What about outside?"

"He goes out there occasionally..."

The vet's mouth twisted. "In that case, I recommend getting at least the rabies shot. Just in case. The other ones are the feline distemper and the Feline Leukemia Virus. They help boost his immune system and helps prevent feline leukemia."

Natsu almost snorted. As if Happy's biggest concern was going to be catching leukemia! He already had cancer! Despite knowing Happy probably didn't need them, he nodded anyway, "I'll get them all..."

Lucy said nothing as she watched the vet leave, only to come back with the shot. "I went ahead and grabbed Plue's as well..."

Neither commented, so the vet got to work. Natsu held Happy still while she gave him the shots. The cat growled, even hissing at Natsu during the process. When it was all over, he was more than happy to crawl back in his carrier to get away from everyone.

Plue's shots went by much faster since the dog seemed more at ease. He was obviously still nervous, even shaking a little, but he didn't squirm away when they injected him. He had to get his annual heartworm test, but that didn't take much time at all. When it came back negative, Lucy said she'd get a year's worth of medication for Plue, just so they wouldn't have to come back in six months.

When it was all over, Natsu and Lucy left the animal hospital with their two pets, but not before dropping another $265.

Who knew animals could be so expensive? The price was nothing compared to having them in their lives though. Natsu and Lucy couldn't imagine a world where they didn't have their cat and dog to keep them company.

August

Natsu found himself in the animal hospital one month later, cat carrier in one hand while tears streamed down his face. He ignored the looks he received as he went to the front desk. "I n-need to get my c-cat checked out..."

"What's the last name?" The lady behind the desk asked.

"D-Dragneel..."

"Natsu?" She asked when the only 'Dragneel' popped up.

"Yes," he weakly nodded.

"Is this for Happy?"

"Y-yes..."

"And what seems to be the problem today?" She asked, giving him a sympathetic smile.

Natsu could barely keep it together as he said, "I th-think his tumor h-has a sore on it... It's pussing..."

He noted the slight change in her eyes as she typed something down. "Okay, if you'll have a seat I'll get you all checked in."

"Thanks," he mumbled as he went to sit down.

Happy growled in his carrier as more people entered the waiting room. Dogs would come up and sniff at the carrier, only to earn a hiss from the pissed off cat. It was no secret by now that Happy hated the animal hospital.

Natsu sat down, clutching the carrier for dear life as he tried to keep it together. He had to wipe his eyes and nose off with his sleeve so many times that his shirt became wet all over, leaving him with nothing to get rid of the pain on his face.

When Happy's name was called, he stood up immediately, almost feeling lightheaded as he walked down the hall and to the examination room. He struggled to get the cat out of the carrier since he didn't want to leave. When asked what was going on with Happy, he broke down again.

"H-his stomach is open..."

The vet frowned as she went to check out his stomach. Another woman held Happy as they flipped him. "Man, he has no scruff, does he?"

Natsu barely shook his head, wishing Lucy was there with him. She was already at work when he noticed the wet spot on the couch. It took him another five minutes to find out it was coming from the puss on Happy's stomach. He had to force down a motion sickness pill, then drive Happy to the vet. He didn't even care if he was late for work. Happy was more important.

"Oh, that doesn't look good," the vet commented when she saw his stomach. Through the white fur it wasn't hard finding the tumor. Some of his hair had fallen out, showing the red bulge on his belly. It was raised, an uneven lump pressing aggressively against the skin. There was a small sore on the biggest bump, with yellow-clear puss leaking out.

"Okay, for this we'll give him some antibiotics and some pain medication. I'll show you how to use them before you leave," the vet said, then both women released Happy.

While one woman went to get the medications, the vet stayed. Before Natsu put Happy in his carrier, he asked with a shaky voice, "umm... I-I have a question..."

"What's what?" She asked, more than happy to help.

Natsu paused, gnawing on his inner cheek as he debated even asking. After an internal battle with himself, he spoke. "S-since he's not getting better..." Natsu had to swallow, not realizing how difficult this would be. "What are the options..."

"Are you talking about euthanizing?"

It felt like a searing hot needle stabbed through his heart at that word. Fresh tears formed as he nodded. He didn't want to, but the tumor was just getting worse. Now his stomach had medium-sized ones all over his stomach, some not even close to the original one. He didn't want to face the harsh reality, but he knew he at least needed to know the options.

The vet's face fell as she explained, "what we do here is we would give him a sedative. That'll put him to sleep. Then when he's out, we'd give him an overdose of the sedative, which will put him down."

Natsu couldn't stop the sob that racked through his body. He looked down at Happy, giving him the weakest smile he could muster, but even the cat could tell something was wrong. "It's okay," he said slowly so his words would come out right. He pet Happy, feeling his heart break over and over again at the thought of losing his friend.

Natsu barely heard her speak, even though she was right in front of him. "It's a lot to think about. I'll get you some paperwork with the information in case it comes to that."

Natsu left the animal hospital with a bag full of antibiotics, pain medicine, and several papers that he didn't want to read. It ran him $82, but at this point he didn't care. He was numb inside, and looking at Happy only seemed to make it worse.

September

The medication didn't work.

For the first five days, things seemed to get better, but it only took a nosedive when Happy started puking up the medication. Natsu felt like he was doing more harm than good, but he still tried giving his cat the medicine, even if he got scratched in the process. He couldn't blame Happy. He'd hate to have someone shoot the inside of his mouth every morning with some kind of nasty tasting liquid too. And he had to do it twice, once for the antibiotic and once for the painkiller.

As the tumor grew, Happy lost more hair. Some veins started to show up right under the skin, but Natsu tried to ignore it. Happy was still acting normal, and that was all that mattered. As long as he was eating, that meant he wanted to live...

Right?

That's what Natsu convinced himself anyway, even when he had to dab Happy's wound multiple times a day to soak up the excess puss. It was a small price to pay to keep his feline friend around. Natsu and Lucy's furniture suffered, leaving behind odd stains that didn't come out easily, but neither minded. Happy was more important than furniture any day.

Happy still wanted to go outside, to feel the warmth on his fur, but that made things difficult with an open sore. Natsu tried putting his cat in a onesie, but that proved to be a horrible idea. Happy didn't move at all when he was put in the baby outfit. He'd literally just stay still until someone took him out of it.

The only option was to wait until the rare moments when Happy wasn't leaking. Whenever it happened, Natsu dropped everything he was doing so he could bring his friend outside, not knowing how long it would be until the sore opened up again.

It was a hard month, but Happy didn't show any signs of discomfort...

Okay, that was a big fat lie. He showed plenty of signs, but Natsu chose to ignore it. If he accepted it then he was basically accepting that his friend was getting closer to his end, and Natsu just couldn't handle that. So he ignored it.

He ignored the way Happy wouldn't lay on his left side.

He ignored the way Happy would stand awkwardly when he ate or drank, just so his sore wasn't pressing against the ground.

He ignored the way Happy flinched when someone touched a little too close to the tumor.

He ignored the way Happy would leave the area to go lay by himself in another room.

He ignored the darker shade of red his skin took on as the tumor grew larger, pressing, stretching the skin with no remorse.

He ignored it all, but he couldn't ignore it forever.

October

The third of October Natsu had to face the facts. The tumor was getting worse, no matter how much he tried to pretend it wasn't. Now it had a purple tint to some parts, the number of veins visible increasing with every day.

By the twelfth of October, Natsu noticed the tumor was about the size of a baseball. Not all of it was near Happy's skin. Most of it was hidden inside Happy's body, growing larger as time went on. It was uneven, bumpy, and that was just the biggest one. The ones scattered all over his stomach were also growing, though they hadn't reached his skin yet... Fortunately.

He tried to stay optimistic because that's who Natsu was. He was always a cheery guy, but people felt he was distant, only half-present. Lucy noticed this the most, but she understood. She felt horrible when her mother passed away, and although it was slightly different since Happy was a cat, she didn't dare say anything about it.

Pain can't be measured, pain can't be dismissed simply because someone else went through worse pain. She knew how deeply Natsu cared for Happy, rescuing him from under someone's porch when he was still a little kitten. Happy meant the world to Natsu, so seeing him struggling like this tore her up inside. She could only offer him kind words, but even those barely reached him.

It was just three days later when Natsu noticed the color around Happy's main sore was turning black. He had no idea what it was, or why it was turning so dark, but he tried to not let it bother him. Happy still seemed fine, eating, drinking, using the bathroom... Everything was relatively normal.

He still felt his insides twisting up painfully whenever he saw it, but he stayed strong for Happy. Well... As strong as he could. There was only so much Natsu could take before he broke down and cried. It was usually when it was just himself, not wanting anyone to see him so weak.

Three more days passed, and things started to look a tiny bit brighter. The black surrounding his sore had faded into a brown, and even formed a scab over the sore. Natsu loved taking Happy outside more, spending most of his time off outside with his cat so he could enjoy the outdoors.

Deep down inside he knew he was being naive, but who cared? Happy seemed cheerful, walking through the yard and occasionally eating grass. It made it even better when he didn't throw up afterwards, not that Natsu minded cleaning up after his longest friend. He would do anything for Happy's happiness. Natsu especially loved when Happy would sunbathe. He would lay out in the yard, letting the warmth soak in. The air was getting chilly, but the sun still shined as if it was summer.

Natsu should have known better than to be so optimistic.

On the twenty-third of October, Natsu noticed the blood. It was only a few drops on Happy's bed, but it was enough to cause alarm. Lucky for him, when he went to check on his cat, the blood had already dried. It looked as if the scab had come off some, but it wasn't bleeding anymore, so Natsu tried to think positive. Happy was still eating... He still drank a little bit... Yeah... It was all going to be okay...

Three days later, the scab got worse. New sores opened up, and the scab grew black again. Happy started licking at the wound, making things far worse. He was pussing all day, not drying up long enough for even one outside trip. Natsu cried that day, clutching his cat in his arms and saying how much he loved him. The cat only squirmed a little before settling in, deciding to let his owner do whatever he had to. It was then that Natsu started to lose hope...

The day before Halloween, things turned from worse to terrible. More of Happy's tumor pressed against his already stretched skin. More hair started to fall out, Natsu could see the outline of the tumor making its debut. He hated seeing his cat like this, but what made it worse was the pussing. The scab had fallen off, leaving behind a weird white layer over part of his skin. Natsu felt nauseous every time he went to dab up the puss since the white spot was squishy. He didn't know what that meant, but he knew it couldn't be good. All he could do was try to keep it as clean as possible, falsely hoping that things would get better.

The next day on Halloween, Natsu didn't dress up. He had a few costumes from the previous years, but he wasn't in the mood. Happy's wound was getting worst. The white part spread, taking up a larger chunk of his red skin.

Natsu noticed it right before he went to work. There, he had a pretty miserable day. He was asked questions like, "why aren't you dressed up?" to "where's your costume?" and finally "why are you in such a bad mood?"

"I'm not feeling in the Halloween spirit..." He said, but they wouldn't take that as an answer, wanting to know why he wasn't in the mood. Natsu finally told them his cat's tumor was getting worse, hoping it would shut them up, but instead it made them more talkative.

"I know what you're going through. My cat was killed six months ago by two pit bulls," a female coworker said as they unloaded a truck. "I had her for seven years."

Natsu wanted to be an asshole and point out that he had his cat for over FOURTEEN years, and the way she explained her story, she made it sound like all pit bulls were bad, which he knew wasn't true because Plue was one of the sweetest dogs in the world. He kept his mouth shut though, knowing if he lost it at work, he might lose his job. He really couldn't afford to be out of work.

Finally the HR manager, Cory, came back to the warehouse. He looked ridiculous in his cow costume, but Natsu said nothing about it, even when he asked Natsu if he was alright. Natsu wanted to say yes and get him to leave, but he shook his head. "Not really..."

"Oh, well there's candy in the break room. Maybe that'll make you feel better?"

Natsu shook his head again. "It won't..."

Cory frowned. "Well I hope it gets better."

Natsu could already feel his bottom lip tremble as he said, "it's not. It's just gonna get worse..." He didn't mean to be that honest, but keeping it inside was killing him. He already talked to Lucy about it, but he held back a little, not wanting to show just how vulnerable he was. However, in this moment he couldn't help himself. "It's not anything work related... So don't worry..."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Cory asked, stepping closer.

"Not much to talk about," Natsu shrugged. "My cat's tumor is getting worse..."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," he said, then started telling Natsu about his cats at home. One of his cats had FIV, which was the feline version of HIV. When asked, Cory explained that it wasn't transmitted through sex like with humans, but it did still weaken the immune system. Cory said he panics if his cat gets a simple cold because even that could kill him. That made Natsu feel awful, but at least he knew he wasn't the only one with a sick cat. Someone else actually understood what he was going through.

"Does he mess with it at all?" Cory asked towards the end of their conversation.

"He licks at it," Natsu said, cringing when he remembered how gross it looked seeing his cat clean the infected area.

"You might try getting an E-collar. Might help."

Natsu dropped his gaze. "I don't think he'll like that very much..."

"It's worth a shot? Anyways, I hope he gets to feeling better."

Cory left, and Natsu went to hide behind some couches in the backroom to cry. He kept quiet, not wanting anyone to see him like this at work. He brought out his phone, flipping through the pictures of Happy. When the wound wasn't showing, Happy looked completely normal. He just wished desperately that he really was normal, and that nothing was killing him from the inside out.

That night he didn't go out for Halloween. Lucy had to work, so he stayed at home. He didn't even bother turning on the porch light for trick or treaters. He felt too horrible to move. He spent most of the night trying to get Happy to stop licking at himself. That's when he noticed it.

The lump had a weird smell to it. It didn't take a genius to know Happy's sore was now infected.

November

Natsu spent the first day of November debating what he should do. What could he do? Bring Happy to the vet where they might suggest putting him down? Or would they stick him on more antibiotics that wouldn't work. It didn't work the first time, and that sore was tiny compared to this! He practically pulled out his pink hair trying to figure out what he was supposed to do. The entire time he cried, throwing fits that the world wasn't fair, and that Happy didn't deserve this to happen to him. He was a good cat, he was the best cat! It just wasn't fair!

During the time Natsu complained, Happy seemed fine. Sure he licked at the wound, but he was still eating... Well, he was licking the juices around the meat in his wet food. Oh yeah, a couple of months ago they switched him to wet food since he seemed to be eating his dry food less and less. It was another one of those things Natsu ignored just so he could pretend Happy was alright.

He was so wrong.

November 2nd, 2016 was a day Natsu would remember for the rest of his life. He woke up early that morning, started awake by a weird dream involving naked Bill Cosby gifs. After that he really couldn't go back to sleep.

Lucy got up, dressed, then kissed Natsu goodbye before going to work. It was Natsu's day off, so he didn't bother getting dressed, deciding instead to stay in his sweatpants and shirt. He took Plue outside to use the bathroom, then went to check on Happy.

The blue cat was sitting on the couch, licking at his wound. Natsu's face scrunched up as he marched over to him, then carefully moved his head away from the area. "You can't do that," he warned, then stole a glance at the spot.

The spot itself was absolutely horrific. Happy's skin was stretched to its limit, red and purple all over. The white layer on his skin was now yellow, with a dark red, almost black ring on one of its side.

Natsu cringed, then slowly lowered his head to the spot. He didn't want to, but he knew he needed to. One sniff was all it took for him to pull away quickly. "God damn," he muttered, the smell stinging his senses. He looked down at the cat who was now trying to lick at the infected spot once again.

Natsu let him, deciding to go take a shower since he was going to take Happy to the vet. Even if he knew the antibiotics wouldn't fix it, it might still help a little. Natsu took a shower, got dressed, then put Happy in the carrier. It was as if the cat knew where he was going, because he struggled the whole way in.

After popping a motion sickness pill, he loaded him and the cat up in the car before driving to the vet. He tried to assure himself that this visit was going to go okay. He went inside, checked in, and was the second person called to the back since he arrived so early.

When they finally managed to get Happy out of his carrier -he was being extremely difficult, they turned him on his side to look at his wound. The vet attending to him was a different one than before, not knowing how much Natsu and Happy already went through. She checked out the spot on his stomach, grimacing at the sight before gently poking at it with a gloved finger.

When she released Happy, she said, "he can go back in his carrier now."

Natsu quickly scooped up his growling cat, putting him inside his cage so he could feel more secure. When Natsu was finished locking it up, he looked at the vet, anticipating her reaction.

"Are you wanting to get it removed?" She asked, throwing away her gloves.

Natsu shook his head, finally feeling his emotions catch up to him. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he tried to say, "n-no, umm, w-we already tr-tried that b-before... It just g-grew b-back." The tears spilled down his cheeks, uncaring as they dripped past his chin and onto the floor.

"Okay," the vet slowly nodded.

Natsu blinked, but the tears didn't end. "C-can he get antibiotics?"

"Sure." She glanced down at the cat with a sympathetic look in her eyes. "He can stay on antibiotics and pain medicine for the rest of his life."

Natsu's heart twisted at hearing that. 'The rest of his life?' Happy could barely manage ten days, how was he supposed to deal with getting two shots of liquid in his mouth for the rest of his life without throwing up again? "It's, umm... pressing against his s-skin... Is... Is it eventually going to split his stomach open?"

The vet only said one word. "Yes."

Natsu hated himself with a passion when he asked, "is it ever too early t-to euthanize?" He already regretted saying those words, but he couldn't take them back. He could only watch as she shook her head, saying it might be a blessing for him.

He didn't say anything, feeling that familiar numbness spread over his body again. Another sob racked through him as he tried desperately to think. "I-I don't know..." This was his friend! His dear, dear friend! How was he supposed to make a decision like that?

"Do you need some time to think about it?" She asked, trying not to pressure him.

"Well, h-he's still eating..." Natsu clung to his last hope. "That means he still wants to live, r-right?"

The woman's face fell as she told him, "or it means he still enjoys the taste of food. It doesn't necessarily mean he still wants to live..."

The last bit of Natsu's hope shattered. Fresh tears poured from his eyes as he nodded. "O-oh o-okay..."

"You won't be a bad dad if you decide to euthanize him, but you don't have to make a decision right now," she assured.

"I-I n-need to talk t-to my wife first," Natsu's vision blurred as his whole world came crashing down.

"That's understandable," the vet said. "If you want, you can come back later to either pick up the medication, or to go another route."

His body shook when he registered what she implied. "K-kay," he nodded, feeling hollow. It felt like if someone poked him he would burst into a million shards.

"If you want, you can wait here for a while, or you can go out the other exit," the vet offered.

Natsu realized she was worried about him crying in front of other people. At this point he really didn't care. He felt like he had nothing left to lose, why not send his pride with it? "I'm fine," he sniffled, wiping his stinging eyes on his sleeve. "D-do I just go out and pay for the office visit for now?"

The woman's eyes held pity as she said, "no. There's no charge."

That was almost worse than paying the $32 for the office visit. He felt pathetic as he nodded. "Th-thanks..."

Natsu left the room, went down the hall, then exited the building through the waiting room. He set Happy's carrier in the passenger seat, then walked over to the driver's door. More tears were escaping before he could climb into the vehicle.

He cursed under his shaky breath, feeling like the world was unfair. Like it dealt Happy a bad hand. Natsu drove with tears in his eyes all the way home.

That day he spent all his time with Happy. The signs were easier to see that day than they'd ever been over the past few months. Happy only licked the liquid out of his wet food, but it was far less than he had before. He barely drank water. His tongue dipped into the bowl, but he wasn't collecting much. He wouldn't lay on his left side, favoring his right.

Natsu had to get up multiple times to collect Happy because the cat continued to escape, wanting to sit alone in another room instead of cuddle like Natsu desperately wanted to. He had to continuously stop Happy from licking at the would, knowing he was only making things worse.

The first two hours Natsu debated what to do. The antibiotic/pain med route sounded awful for both of them. He didn't want to put Happy through that again. Plus his stomach was going to eventually split open anyway, regardless of if the infection cleared up or not. There was also the fear that the cancer would spread to his lungs, since that was common for this type of illness. He really didn't want Happy to go out like that.

That really only left one option, but he didn't want to do it.

Natsu cried harder as he held onto Happy, wishing that all his love would somehow cure this deadly disease he formed. "It's not fair," Natsu said, his eyes wet with tears. He was getting tired, all the crying doing a number on his body.

Happy purred, then got up to go sit alone... again.

Without admitting it, Natsu made up his mind. When Lucy got home from work, they were going to go back to the vet to- to-

Well, Natsu really didn't want to think about that right now. Right now he wanted to spend time with Happy. He brought his cat outside, despite the open wound. It wouldn't matter by tonight anyway.

They spent a while in the backyard, then in the front yard. Natsu snapped lots of videos and photos. By the end of the night he'd have 434 of them combined. Some were blurry or out of focus, but he would never delete them. Never.

Natsu eventually found himself upstairs with Happy. They laid in bed together, with the cat resting against his side. It was how he woke up sometimes, or how he went to sleep other times. He always loved having his feline companion nearby. He always made Natsu feel better about life.

He didn't know what he'd do after today... After he lost-

'Nope. Not gonna think about it,' Natsu thought as he closed his eyes, one hand resting on Happy's back. He let sleep take him, knowing this would be the last nap he ever took with his longest friend.

Natsu woke up feeling more tired than when he started. He glanced down, relieved when he saw Happy was still sleeping on his side. He pet him, feeling the soft fur under his fingers. "I love you," Natsu said, rubbing the back of his hand against Happy's whiskers.

Carefully Natsu brought his phone out, checking the time. He frowned, the vet's office closed in forty minutes, and Lucy wasn't home yet. He tried calling her, but it went to voicemail. He tried a few more times, getting the same results. "Damn..."

Natsu sat up, bringing up a sleepy Happy with him. "I just want to say, I love you, Happy. I hope you know that..."

Happy barely looked at him, too tired and already trying to fall asleep again. That was another thing Natsu noticed. Happy slept a lot more than he used to lately... He must have ignored it, just like he ignored all the other signs.

Natsu carried Happy to the living room, setting him down on the couch before trying again. Before he could press the call button, he received an incoming call from Lucy. He quickly answered it, saying, "where are you?"

"I'm leaving work now. Why, what's up?" She sounded stressed, so he figured she had a hard day at work. It was about to get harder though.

"I need you to come with me to the vet again... I... I'm p-..." Natsu slammed his eyes shut as he forced the words out, "I'm putting him down."

There was a long pause before she asked, "are you sure?"

"I don't know," he said honestly, more tears filling his eyes. He never thought he'd cried so much in his life before. "What do you think I should do?"

"Well... I know it sucks, but it's the humane thing to do..."

Natsu knew she was right, but that didn't make it any easier. "How far away are you?"

"I just left work."

Natsu ground his teeth together. Lucy worked at least fifteen minutes away from where they lived, but the vet was more towards the middle. "Can you meet me there? They close soon, and I don't know if they'll take him. They usually stop taking people twenty minutes before they close..."

"I'll meet you there," she promised. "Natsu, I love you..."

"I love you too," he mumbled, already feeling his heart ache. He didn't think he deserved love at all... Not after what he was about to do. "I'll see you there. Bye."

After Natsu hung up the phone, his eyes searched out Happy. He was still on the couch, licking at his wound again. He had to take another motion sickness pill first, since the other one wore off already.

Natsu gulped before walking over to his beloved cat. "I'm really sorry..." He picked him up, cradling him to his chest before heading towards the door.

Happy's carrier was still inside the car since Natsu took him out of it once they arrived to the house. He went outside, putting Happy in the backseat while he went to lock the door. Tears flooded his eyes, his breaths getting shallow as he climbed into the car.

"H-Happy," he called with a shuttering voice. Said cat slowly crawled to the front of the car with Natsu's assistance. He placed him on his lap, then started up the car for the drive. Right now he didn't care about laws, he just wanted his friend as close to him as possible, even if his wound was pussing against his clothes.

Natsu drove to the animal hospital, muttering over and over again, "I promise I love you Happy... I promise. I'm only doing this because I think it'll help... You won't feel any pain, won't that be great? I promise I love you... I hope you'll forgive me..."

When he saw the building come into sight, he cried out, "please forgive me."

Natsu couldn't bring Happy in. He cracked the windows of the car, then proceeded into the animal hospital. He tried to keep his tears at bay as he waited in line. When it was his turn, he almost lost it.

"Hi..." Natsu's voice was hoarse and weak. "I came in this morning..." He dropped his head, ashamed of himself as he said very slowly, "I'm here... to put... m-my cat down..."

The room fell silent when he finished. New tears forming, just to run down his face. He didn't bother wiping them away. More would come anyway.

"What's the last name?" The woman behind the desk asked, a frown on her usually cheerful face. With all the visits over the years, he recognized her, and judging from her face, she felt sympathetic to him.

"Dragneel," he muttered, staring at the desk.

The woman turned around, then fished through the folders on the wall until she found the one labelled 'Dragneel'. "If you want, you can wait in the supply store, or in your car."

Natsu nodded, "I'll be in my car... It's the silver one..."

When he turned, he saw everyone shift out of his way. He walked to the door, thanking a man who held it open for him. He didn't dare look at his face, knowing he must have the same pitied face as everyone else.

Natsu was already crying harder when he got to the car again. He went to sit in the backseat with Happy, grabbing the cat to drag him on his lap. "I love you," he cried, hoping with all his heart that his cat understood. He didn't know what else to say, so he repeated it over and over again.

Lucy pulled up, got out of her car, then came over to Natsu's. She crawled in the backseat with him, resting a hand on his shoulder as he trembled. Her heart broke for him, wishing she would do something to ease his pain, but there was nothing. All she could do was be there for him.

"H-he had a good life, right?" Natsu smiled down at Happy, stroking his back.

"He did..."

Natsu nodded as he said, "fourteen and a half years is a long time... For a cat..."

"It is..."

Sobs racked his body. "It still doesn't feel like enough."

Lucy could only frown. It really didn't seem like enough. Hell, a hundred years with the little blue ball of joy still didn't seem like enough.

They both watched as Happy moved, deciding he wanted to rest on one of the scarfs Natsu had in his backseat. It was white, with an odd scaled pattern. He'd been meaning to bring it back inside for days, but now he was glad he left it out there.

Happy laid between their thighs, trying to drift to sleep even with the noise of traffic in the distance. Natsu cried more, Lucy rubbed his back, and Happy laid there, seemingly oblivious to what was about to happen.

It seemed like hours passed by, but as soon as a lady came outside of the animal hospital to say, "Happy?" Natsu swore it was only a few minutes. He glanced at the clock on the dash, seeing that exactly one hour had passed. He knew they were already closed, but even he knew they wouldn't turn someone like him away during this time.

Natsu panicked as he looked at Lucy. "C-can you ask them if I can bring him in without the carrier... He hates it..."

Lucy gave him a warm smile as she nodded. "Sure."

He watched as she got out of the car to walk to the lady. They spoke for a few seconds before Lucy looked back at him, nodding and beckoning him to come over.

Natsu wrapped Happy in the scarf, then held him tightly to his chest, whispering again how much he loved him. When Natsu walked into the waiting room, there was no one there. They walked down the hall, past the room he was used to and went to a different one. It looked just about the same, but it made him feel more uneasy.

Natsu gently set Happy down on the table, then opened up the scarf so he was resting on it. The vet asked if they could look at his wound, but Natsu knew that would only make Happy upset. He was already starting to growl, he didn't want him to cry out too.

"Can I show you a picture?" Natsu asked, bringing out his phone.

"That'll be fine," she said.

Natsu scrolled through his phone, "sorry... I took a lot today."

"It's understandable..."

Lucy stayed quiet as Natsu brought up the latest picture of Happy's stomach. It was clearly infected, painful to even look at. She couldn't imagine what kind of pain Happy was going through.

"That does look awful," she looked over at Happy. "Poor baby..."

Natsu pocketed the phone, then went to place a hand on Happy. He just had to feel him.

"I'll be right back with some paperwork. Are you wanting to take him with you?"

"Cremation," Natsu answered.

"Okay. Will both parents be present?" When they both nodded, she said, "I'll be right back." With that, she left them alone.

Natsu burst into tears, leaning over Happy as he said, "oh god, please Happy, please know I love you. Please, just... just please. Please don't hate me." He finally said it. He said his biggest fear out loud. Natsu was terrified that Happy would forever hate him for ending his life. "I promise, I'm only trying to do the right thing, but I don't know what that is. I'm sorry."

Lucy rubbed Natsu's back, but he barely felt it over the trembling. Happy just growled, not liking the vet's office one bit. Natsu tried to pretend Happy wasn't mad at him, but he felt it deep down in his heart he probably was upset at Natsu.

The lady came back in, having Natsu sign some paperwork. He didn't read over it. His vision was too blurred anyway. His signature was shaky, barely legible. He tried his best to keep a steady hand, but it was useless. He decided not to care, knowing he wasn't the first person to mess it up, and he probably wouldn't be the last.

"Have you ever been through this before?" The vet asked as she gathered the papers.

"No," he shook his head, feeling more tears spring loose.

"Okay. What were going to do is really simple." She explained how they did it. It was the same as the person did before. They would sedate Happy, putting him to sleep as if they were going to do surgery, then they would give him an overdose and he would die from that.

Natsu choked on his saliva as he said, "k-kay..."

"Oh, bless your heart," she said before leaving to grab the stuff.

Once again Natsu was begging Happy, pleading with his pet to forgive him. He wouldn't let him pass without knowing how much he loved him, how much he cared for him. "Please, I love you. Please know that." He knew he'd said it before, but it didn't feel like enough. Nothing felt like enough.

He just wanted a few more years with his cat. Why the hell was life so cruel it couldn't even give him that? He would gladly trade some of his own years over if it meant he got to spend more time with Happy, without the cancer eating away at him. Natsu barely heard when the vet came back in. He stood up, keeping a hand on Happy.

"We're going to do the first dose. We need him on his side so we can get to his leg," she said, another woman coming into the room to join them. As they grabbed Happy, he hissed, immediately resisting their touches.

"He really doesn't have any scruff," the other girl noted as they turned him on his side.

The next part was something that would haunt Natsu for the rest of his life. Once they got him on his side, Happy started hissing like crazy, bearing his fangs for anyone who dared put their hands on him.

"Happy," Natsu tried to coo, his voice strained as he gently rubbed a finger over his whiskers. "I love you." He glanced over, seeing the needle inside his cat, the liquid getting injected into his veins.

The vet began to pull the needle out when all the sedation was in. "There, see that wasn't so-"

Happy screamed, his whole body tensed as his voice echoed through the small room. "What's happening?" Natsu asked, then made eye contact with his screaming cat. "Haaaappy," he called out like he usually did when he tried to calm down his cat.

"Whoa, what was that?" One of the women asked as if someone knew. Happy screamed for a few more seconds before he stopped, his body going lax. "There he goes, nice and easy." She pet Happy's side, slightly angering Natsu.

Happy was without pain now, but the last thing he ever felt in his life was pain. It was fucking pain! He was screaming, and there was nothing Natsu could do for him! He caused it! He did it, there was no way Happy would forgive him now. He didn't even feel like he deserved forgiveness.

Natsu openly sobbed, hand cupping Happy's still face as he stared into his unblinking eyes. He glanced up, seeing as the ladies turned Happy over so they would see his wound.

"Oh wow, poor baby. Mammary cancer is just awful." The vet looked at Natsu, then said, "you're doing the right thing, stopping this before it could spread to his lungs."

Natsu only cried harder, clenching his teeth as his breathing became shallow. He didn't feel like he was doing the right thing. How on Earth could killing his friend be a good thing? Let alone the right thing! He wanted to scream, he wanted to punch the wall and ask for a do-over.

It just wasn't fucking fair. Happy never did anything to deserve this! Why the hell did he have to get cancer! He was the best cat in the world, he didn't deserve this fate.

One of the women's voices reached him. "Do you want to hold him while he do the next shot?"

Natsu didn't have to think about it. He nodded, then watched as the other lady wrapped the scarf around Happy's body. Natsu picked him up, cradling the motionless cat against his chest as he cried into the fur on his back. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I love you, please know that I love you Happy. I'm sorry, please, please forgive me. I-I'm sorry."

He heard them shave off some hair from Happy's front paw, but he didn't see anything since his face was pressed into Happy's fur, pleading for his cat's forgiveness. "I'm sorry," and then he felt Happy's body go limp in his arms.

Natsu paused for a moment, completely caught off-guard. Was... Was he...? Natsu didn't think he could cry harder in that moment, but he proved himself wrong. "Oh god!"

The vet waited less than a minute before saying, "we just need to check."

Natsu pulled his head away slowly, blinking his water eyes as she pressed the stethoscope to Happy's body, then moved it around a few more times before pulling it away. "He's gone."

"He's..." Natsu couldn't believe it. He just couldn't fathom a world without Happy. He held his cat closer to his body, weeping as he felt just how lifeless his friend really was. The women left the room, leaving only Natsu and Lucy.

He turned to Lucy, seeing the tears in her eyes, then looked down at Happy. "Is... Is he?" He had to mouth the word 'dead', not able to say it out loud.

Lucy's eyes flooded as she nodded, her face pained as she watched the love of her life lose his oldest friend.

Natsu spent the next twenty minutes crying over Happy's body, kissing him all over his head, wishing that just once Happy would try to push him away with a paw. It was useless, Happy was gone. Natsu set Happy down on the table, they cradled his face against Happy's shoulder.

"I love you," he whispered, not caring if Happy couldn't hear him anymore. "I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm so sorry..."

There were no words to describe the empty feeling inside his heart, the pure sadness coursing through his body. He had Happy for his whole life, and now he was just gone! Natsu didn't think Happy would forgive him, because he couldn't even forgive himself.

The vet came back again, asking how they wanted Happy returned, in a gold box or in a dark cherry brown box. Natsu chose the latter, but at the moment he didn't really care. He just wanted his friend back, but he knew that wasn't an option. If he was to get one wish granted, he would wish Happy could come back perfectly healthy, with no cancer in his system, but that was a hopeless wish.

"Do you want a paw print of his?"

Natsu looked up at her, then down to Happy. He nodded, then heard her leave.

Despite everyone telling him it was the right choice, he still felt awful about it. He stroked Happy's fur, feeling the limp body in his arms. Eventually the vet came back again with a clay mold. She moved Happy's body so his paw could press against the clay, leaving behind a print. She asked if it was good, but Natsu barely looked at it. He just nodded, hoping it would be good enough. Nothing they did would fill the void in his heart.

It was several minutes later when the vet finally came back. By then Lucy was standing behind Natsu, leaning against him as she cried with her husband. Natsu bent down, giving Happy one last kiss on his cheek before saying, "I love you."

He stood up straight, then said, "I'm ready... Whenever you need him."

"Okay," she whispered, not wanting to startle him. "The guy who takes the animals hasn't left yet, so Happy won't spend the night here. It usually takes a few days before we get him back, but we'll give you a call when that happens so you can pick him up."

Natsu weakly nodded as he pet Happy a few more times, memorizing the feeling of his fur since he would never feel it again. "I love you Happy. I'm sorry." More tears filled his eyes, but at this point he really couldn't care even if he tried. He was broken, shattered...

As Natsu lifted Happy's limp body, Lucy worked to pull the scarf from underneath him. Natsu gently set his cat back down, wishing this never had to happen. He pet Happy one last time before turning, his hand lingering on his lifeless cat for a few seconds before finally letting go. He stole one glance back at him, seeing his back half.

Natsu went down the hall with Lucy to the waiting room. Lucy handled the paying since Natsu was in no condition to talk. Lucy wasn't much better, but she knew she had to be strong for him. They paid the total, $225, then slowly turned to leave. They heard the lady behind the desk say she was sorry, to which Natsu softly said, "thanks..."

Natsu was already crying again when he walked to his car. He really wanted to ride with Lucy, but his car would get towed if he left it overnight. He got into the driver's seat, then placed the scarf over the cat carrier in the passenger seat, not wanting to see it.

"Do you want to wait here a while?" Lucy asked as Natsu grabbed the door handle.

He shook his head. "No. I just want to go home." He tried to ignore the man on the other side of the parking lot. The man who had Happy and probably other animals with him in his truck. It gave Natsu the slightest bit of comfort to know the man put the animals inside the truck instead of the bed, showing that Happy would be safe for the trip to the crematory.

"I'll see you at home," Natsu said a little coldly, but Lucy immediately forgave him. She already knew he would be upset, and she couldn't blame him. She nodded, then walked to her car.

Natsu was already driving away before she could start up her car, trying to get home as fast as possible so he could cry in peace. It wasn't safe to cry while driving, especially at night. He glanced at his clock, seeing that he spent two hours at the animal hospital. Part of him believed it, and part of him didn't.

Natsu pulled into the driveway a few minutes before Lucy did. He went inside, immediately seeing Happy's wet food sitting on the floor. Natsu gulped as he picked it up, along with the bowl of dry food Happy never touched. He threw it away, knowing the faster he got it done, the better.

Natsu gathered up some of Happy's stuff: The extra wet cat food, the extra litter scoop, some of the toys. He picked up the blankets Happy used, putting them in the laundry to wash later. When he was done with that, he walked outside to see Lucy sniffling by her car.

"You should come inside," he said, surprised that he wasn't crying now.

"I can't..."

Natsu frowned, "is it because his stuff is in there?" Lucy nodded, her body slightly shaking. Natsu went to lean on his car, facing her. They stayed quiet for a few minutes before Natsu asked, "we did the right thing... right?"

"Yeah... But it doesn't make it easier..."

"I know," he sighed, feeling his heart throb dully in his chest. "I picked up some of his stuff, but I don't want to get rid of it all too fast... I don't want to pretend he never existed..."

"You're right," she swallowed thickly.

"I think he lived a good life..." Natsu's gaze was on the ground, hoping with every fiber of his being that Happy lived a good life.

"He did," she agreed, finally standing up straight.

Natsu took the hint, moving towards the door to go inside with Lucy following. She went to the couch while he went upstairs to grab the litter box. In a few trips he grabbed the litter box, the two tubs of litter, and the other scoop. He cast a glance at Happy's bed, but he couldn't bring himself to move it just yet. It would stay right where it was for the time being, until Natsu felt comfortable enough to do something about it.

He had already decided a while back he was going to donate Happy's stuff. He didn't want to get another cat anytime soon. It would feel wrong to replace Happy that fast.

He cleaned out the litter box, then washed it out in case the animal shelter needed everything clean. He set the separate parts of it out to dry since it was the kind with a lid attached.

When it was all clean, Natsu went to the living room to sit on the couch next to Lucy. "I've done all I can do tonight," he said, feeling that emptiness spread through his body again. "We should go to sleep..."

"Yeah..." She agreed, but neither moved. It wasn't long until they were both crying again, especially when Plue came over to see what the fuss was about. They had no idea if the dog would understand that Happy was gone, since there wasn't exactly a way to tell him.

They both cried themselves to sleep that night, holding each other tightly as they drifted to sleep. Neither felt up for being intimate. Natsu had no idea how long it would be before he felt up for that anyway, the pain of losing his friend was constantly on his mind.

The next day wasn't easy for Natsu either. He called out of work, knowing he wouldn't be stable enough to complete his job without crying. It proved to be the wise decision, seeing as he cried off and on all day. The worst was whenever he forgot, because for a second he would look around the room for Happy, only to be reminded that he would never see his friend again.

He would never see Happy again.

Natsu tortured himself by looking over the pictures and videos he took yesterday of Happy. He smiled with watery eyes as the cat sat in the grass, looking around but not moving. He wished he could do something different, but he knew he made the right decision for Happy. He died before things got too bad... Before Happy gave up.

But that also made Natsu feel horrible.

Happy hadn't given up, but he did. There was no changing the past now, but it still hurt like a bitch. Happy was the best cat he could ever wish for, he just hoped and prayed Happy would forgive him, even if he couldn't forgive himself.

When Lucy came home from work, Natsu was sitting on the couch, typing out his feelings in a word document. For some odd reason, it made him feel a tiny bit better. He just had to get everything in his head out, so he could finally breath again.

It only did so much, because he still felt that ache in his chest when he remembered his fallen friend. Happy was a huge part of Natsu's life. He wasn't just a pet, or a fur-baby. He was his true family. He would still be his family, even after his death.

Natsu would have to live knowing Happy's last feeling was pain, but he hoped over time it would hurt less. This was the only time in Natsu's life when he wished this hard that there was an afterlife, so that maybe he could see his friend one last time.

He stroked a thumb over Happy's favorite fish stuffed animal as he whispered to his friend, hoping somehow Happy could hear him, but knowing ultimately that he was just talking to himself...

Natsu knew he had to lean on Lucy for support, since she knew better than anyone how close he was with Happy. She was his best friend, so he didn't mind so much when he randomly cried in front of her. She'd ask him if he was okay, which he would simply answer, "no."

Lucy understood, and even cried along with him a few times. Happy was important to both of them, dead or alive. He would forever live on in their hearts and in their memories.

Natsu wondered how things would have gone if he chose the other path... If he would have stuck Happy on medication for the rest of his life, but ultimately he knew it would all lead to this in the end. He would still euthanize Happy, the timing would just be different. That was the only comfort he held onto during this time in his life.

Natsu barely ate anything, not feeling hungry at all. It was strange since he always ate, sometimes even overeating, but nothing sounded appetizing. As he scrolled through his phone to try to find a distraction, a thought popped into his head. So many people said 2016 was a horrible year, and for the longest time he ignored it, thinking people were overreacting.

Now he could only agree with them. 2016 was so far the worst year of his entire life. November 2nd being the worst day.

As optimistic as Natsu wanted to be, the future seemed pretty bleak without Happy in it. He knew eventually he would move on, after mourning his friend. He would smile again, he would laugh, but right now he still felt hollow, and that was alright.

He was allowed to grieve, as long as he did it in healthy ways. Okay... So maybe curling up on the kitchen floor while clutching a puss-stained blanket while bawling his eyes out wasn't the healthiest thing to do, but Natsu couldn't help it. He was hurting...

But it was fine, because everyone deals with death in their own ways. It was just harder for Natsu since he was the one to ultimately decided when Happy would die. He would carry that guilt for the rest of his life, always wondering if there was a different option he could take...

Natsu knew in his shattered heart he made the right choice...

He just hoped Happy would someday forgive him...

.

.

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I'm very sorry for this depressing one-shot, but if you couldn't tell, I'm trying to deal with the loss of my cat. She had mammary cancer, the tumor grew so large that her skin started opening up since it couldn't stretch anymore. The only option was antibiotics and pain meds for the rest of her very short life, or euthanasia.

I cried over the decision, but decided in the end to put her down. It is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I've never cried so much in my life. I took her in when she was six months old, and she passed away when she was fourteen and a half. She is my world, I love her, but she's gone now.

90% of this story is based on what happened to me and my cat. I hope I didn't upset anyone with this story, but I honestly had to get it all out. The emotional pain is still eating me up inside, but it feels good to get this out.

For those wondering, I don't have a pit bull, but I do have a dog. He's a five year old German Shepherd. I just wanted to make Plue a pit bull since they get a bad reputation even though they're gentle by nature, or at least the ones I've personally met are.

You don't have to leave a review for this story, I won't mind at all. If you have anything negative to say, I'm asking you now to please keep it to yourself. This was a difficult decision for me to make, and I didn't take it lightly. I'm still wondering if I made the right choice, and I'm still hoping my cat will forgive me. I honestly feel like I failed her.

R.I.P.

Socks

May 14, 2002 - November 2, 2016

I will hold you in my heart until the day I die. I love you, Socks.

*The story's picture is of Socks.