Zoran stood outside the door, staring but not moving. He'd worked himself up all week to attend the support group this evening. Now that he was here, however, he was feeling that same urge to flee as he had the last time he'd attended. It was almost worse, accompanied by the premonition that things were about to get even more complicated than before.
He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. Then he released it and slumped back over. He didn't understand why the man intimidated him so much. When he'd gone to Khaled before he'd ran, the man had been so patient, so understanding. Zoran wasn't even sure what he had said to Khaled that day. He'd just rambled and panicked. Khaled probably would have been helpful if Zoran hadn't already been over the edge.
The worst of it was, that now the Zoran was back, he felt as though he had somehow let down the other man. He had seen the tension around Khaled's eyes and how hard he had tried to calm him down. Even before that, Khaled had spent months talking with Zoran, allowing him to confide in him without expecting anything in return. Zoran had given him less than nothing when he'd left. He hadn't even given him any indication that he way okay. And, he was ashamed of it.
He drew in another deep breath and gave a sharp nod. As he started to step towards the door, someone brushed past him, knocking his arm as they went.
"Sorry," the man tossed over his shoulder. He took two more steps, stopped, and turned to face Zoran. His face lit up. The grin was boyish, broad. The blue eyes sparkled. There was something decidedly mischievous in the expression. And, possibly… relieved?
"It's… no problem…" Zoran muttered, that same uneasy, fluttering sensation he so often had around Khaled kicking up.
"Right, of course. You coming in?" the man pulled the door open, holding it open for Zoran.
Zoran eyed him for second, before moving slowly by him and into the community center. There were several classes and groups held in the center and a gym in the back. People moved in and out for various reasons all through the day. The man, however, trailed slightly behind Zoran on his way to the normal meeting room for the group.
"Zoran," Khaled was immediately by his side when he entered the room, his name barely a breath and full of relief. The man's gaze searched his for a second, "I'm glad you've returned."
I'm glad you're okay.
He didn't say it, but Zoran felt that's what the man had really been thinking. So, Khaled had worried about him when he'd disappeared. The guilt clenched his stomach, but he managed a repentant smile, "Of course, I just needed some time."
"Understandable," Khaled gave him a sharp nod and then moved his gaze to the man Zoran had met outside. The man had stepped up beside him, same mischievous smile playing on his face. A slight strain inched its way onto Khaled's features. His eyes slid past the other man, as though he expected to see someone else, "Hello, Jacob. How are you?"
"Good," Jacob grinned, as though he were completely oblivious to Khaled's discomfort. "It seems I quite literally ran into a new group member outside."
Khaled tilted his head, "Zoran has just returned. Zoran, this is Jacob. He's only been apart of the group for a couple of weeks."
"It's very nice to meet you, Zoran," Jacob smiled.
Zoran turned the name over in his head, wondering if he could place it. The man had that spark in his eyes, as though he knew something, knew Zoran. Much like Ami had when she'd entered his house.
"It's nice to meet you, too," Zoran answered with a slight bow of his head.
When Zoran looked back at Khaled, the man's eyes were scanning the hallway again. Khaled turned back to Jacob, "No guest this time?"
"No," the man answered slowly. He was still smiling, but his eyes had hardened. "She felt it might be better if she's not a constant reminder. But, she did ask me to let you know that she still has things she has to do. You know how persistent she can be."
Khaled's entire body seemed to tense, just enough for Zoran to notice it and when he spoke, it was sharp and short, "Of course."
Jacob's eyes narrowed, but he didn't answer.
Zoran glanced back and forth between the two men. When Khaled had first addressed Jacob, there had been a hint of tension between the two men. Zoran had never seen Khaled any less that completely welcoming to all members of the group, but he didn't seem pleased with Jacob's presence. Jacob seemed to roll with it, either not noticing Khalid's stiffness or not caring. Except, when the she was mentioned. Jacob had grown stony, hiding it about as well as Khaled, when the man had asked about the guest. Khaled seemed to lose his calm façade as soon as she was mentioned.
"Well, we should get started. Please find your seats," Khaled had tried to portray his normal calm, but Zoran could still detect the tension under the surface as he turned away.
Jacob snorted and rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath, "Yes, sir."
Zoran raised his eyebrows, surprised.
Jacob shook his head and smiled, "Don't worry about it. It's completely personal between the two of us. Well, honestly, it's mostly the two of them, and, to be even more honest, it's mostly him. But, he'll get even more pissy if I tell you about it," Jacob winked. "Let's sit."
Zoran followed Jacob to a seat, finding his curiosity piqued. Everyone in the group had always respected Khaled. Zoran sometimes felt that he almost revered the older man. He hadn't imagined anyone talking about Khaled the way that Jacob had. Whatever caused the discourse between the two, Zoran felt sure there was something more to it than a couple weeks of group.
Through the group, Zoran found himself dwelling more on the men and this mysterious she than paying attention to what was going on in group. He nodded and smiled when his return was noted but didn't participate much more than that. Jacob, he was surprised to note, did participate quite a bit and Zoran found himself amazed by the man's insights into what it was like to lose months of your life. Zoran had pegged him as laidback and happy-go-lucky. Clearly, there was more to him than whatever his relationship he had with Khaled would indicate.
After group, Jacob immediately turned to him, "Want to grab a drink? We can invite General Grouch if you'd like."
Zoran's eyes shot towards Khaled. The man rolled his eyes, indicating that he had heard Jacob's remark. The most amazing part to Zoran was that he man looked more amused than tense now. He found himself even more curious about the dynamic between the two men.
"Sure," Zoran finally shrugged. He'd wanted to find time to talk with Khaled, but he couldn't pass up an opportunity to appease his curiosity about his new acquaintance.
"I'll meet you after I clean up," Khaled stated from across the room.
Zoran was mildly surprised he had accepted. From Jacob's raised eyebrows, Zoran assumed he was just as surprised.
Jacob rattled off the name of a nearby diner before heading from the room, waving to Khaled over his shoulder. Zoran glanced at Khaled, who gave him a nod, and then followed Jacob. They walked in silence at first, weaving around the late evening crush on the sidewalks.
Finally, Zoran's curiosity got the best of him, "You and Khaled seem to… know each other."
Jacob smiled, "We've known each other both far too long and not long enough. It's… complicated."
Well, that was a non-answer, Zoran thought. Though, he understood that there was more to the statement than was said. He pushed on, "You don't get along?"
Jacob was quite for a moment. He finally stopped walking and turned to face Zoran, studying him for a second. His eyes betrayed a level of sadness when he spoke, "I have always respected him above nearly all others. I still respect him, but we're… different than we were before. It's difficult trying to figure out the new playing field."
"Did losing your memory change you?" Zoran asked.
Jacob offered a small smile, "Not nearly as much as getting it back."
