Zoran had debated since he'd awoken alone the day before how to proceed. He needed to find Mamoru. He knew that would be important. He also knew that he could probably find him if he tried. He had an uncanny ability to sense where his friends were without even trying. However, he hadn't really talked to Mamoru yet. Their conversation before he'd regained all of Zoisite's memories had been brief. Even with all Zoisite's reassurances, Zoran was worried about really interacting with Mamoru, about deciding to pick up where Zoisite left off. About failing again.
But, here, he was comfortable. He'd enjoyed his job. He'd been good at it. Makoto brought him an easy sense of peace and acceptance. His friends, everyone in the group included in that rank, showed up here regularly. He'd rarely felt lonely, which was all he'd felt since Zoisite had left. He could face anything in the safety of this café.
He immediately spied Ami when he entered. She was the sole person in the café at this time of day. The light tinkling of the bells over the door didn't disturb her. Zoran wasn't surprised. She had the look on her face again. The rest of the world didn't exist, didn't matter. All that mattered was the information she was currently absorbing from her book. There was that small furrow between her brows that Zoran had spent more time than he was willing to admit studying. Her lips were pressed together, but not so tightly that any lines formed. Her glasses were sliding down her nose again, which they seemed to do when she became particularly invested in her studies.
"I'll be with you in just a moment," Makoto's voice came from the back, cheery and welcoming as always.
He could approach her. He could say something to get her attention. Instead, he leaned back next to the door and took the moment to watch her, as he had so many times since he'd begun working in the café. He had free access to all the memories now that Zoisite had left. He'd spent so much time in the last day going through them, learning about the woman that Zoisite had loved and comparing her to the woman that Zoran was so fascinated by. Ami was so like the Mercury in those memories. But, there was an approachability that hadn't been there before. A willingness to laugh and smile. An ability to relax and have fun.
He felt himself relaxing without having to try. So, he had made the right choice.
"Welcome to…"
Zoran knew his time was up when the doors to the kitchen swung open and Makoto appeared. She stopped, watched him for a second, and then vaulted- literally vaulted, with one hand touching the top and her feet clearing it completely- the counter, "Zoran!"
He laughed as she threw her arms around his neck, "How did you make that look so easy?"
"The legs aren't just for show," Makoto winked as she held him at arms-length. She began to study him closely, "You're alright?"
"I'm alright. Zoisite even made sure to feed me," he smiled, patting her on the shoulder. He glanced towards Ami. She was looking up now, her glasses set down on her open book. His smiled softened, "Hey."
"Hey," she smiled back, though he could tell she was studying him.
"Right," Makoto gave his cheek a pat before turning back towards the kitchen. "I'll just make you some lunch."
"Thanks, Mako-Mama," he called, and she turned to wrinkle her nose at him before disappearing back to the kitchen.
"She's glad you're back. She's been worried," Ami said as he turned his attention back to her.
"I've been getting that a lot," he replied, moving across the room and gesturing to the chair opposite of hers. "Can I sit?"
"Please," she actually sounded relieved that he had asked. She waited until he sat to continue talking, "I was worried, too."
"I heard you talking with Zoisite. I'm sorry to have worried you all so much. I just needed some time to adjust to everything. I knew things would change but…" Zoran shook his head. "I didn't realize how painful it would actually be."
"We understand. We watched Jacob go through it. We had to deal with memories returning, as well. It was different, but it was shocking," Ami reassured him. She leaned her arms on the table, leaning forward slightly as she spoke.
"I'm not sure I'll ever get some of the images out of my head. You…" he trailed off again, his eyes flitting down towards her side. Those images… There had been so much blood. So much anger and hurt and regret. Zoisite had felt betrayed, had lashed out at her. Had let the witch take away everything important. He wasn't sure what was worse. The scene or the emotions that went with it. The pure anguish as he'd felt before when Zoisite had tried desperately to heal a wound that no longer existed.
"You can't carry the guilt for the past. For his past," Ami leaned farther forward, forcing his gaze to return to hers.
Zoran breathed out, leaning back in his chair, "I know."
And, he did know. He'd come to terms with a lot since Jacob had invited Mamoru to his apartment. Since he'd made the decision to irrevocably change his life. He was going to move forward. The last thing Zoisite asked of him was to live. He wanted to do that. He wanted to live with Mamoru and Jacob and Makoto and the others. He wanted to live with Ami.
That realization was more freeing than anything else. Especially since he knew he was going to get the chance to do just that. They had accepted Jacob into their fold. They had accepted him before he even knew who he was. They would accept him now that Zoisite was gone, too. He'd been worried at first, but he knew the group wouldn't begrudge him their loss.
"He left," he finally said. "I'm sorry."
"I knew he would. He had to," Ami's smile turned sad. Those emotions that Zoran had seen through Zoisite's eyes when she'd visited flitted across her face.
Zoisite braced himself, "You loved him?"
Ami was quiet for several seconds, "I loved the memory of him. She loved him back in the Silver Millennium. She is me, a piece of me. A part of me fell in love with him, too. A part of me will carry that memory. But, there's more to me than just."
"He loved her more than anything," Zoran admitted.
"I know. Deep down, she knew too. I think it made it easier for me when I regained those memories," Ami's smile broadened. "It also makes it easier for me to separate what she felt from what I feel now."
Zoran smiled, "I was worried you may confuse us."
"I was, too," Ami admitted. "But, when I saw him in control of you… Well, I was worried I'd never see you again. I'm glad I get to."
Zoran reached out, touching her hand. He relaxed and smiled when she easily allowed him fingers to lace with her own, "I'm not saying I won't ever have doubts or struggle with some of these memories."
"You have a group full of people who care about you. You have me," she smiled. The door jingled and she glanced over his should, "And, you have him."
Zoran turned to see Mamoru standing in the doorway, hands in his pocket. He seemed unsure, something that Zoran wouldn't have previously thought possible for this man. But, the way he hesitated and allowed Zoran to make the first move showed his indecision. Mamoru didn't want to rush Zoran. Zoran was beginning to think that he needed rushing.
"Thanks, Mako-Mama," he muttered. He gave Ami's hand a squeeze and pushed to his feet. He approached Mamoru, stopping just short of him, "Hey."
"Hey," Mamoru responded, the relief clear in his voice. "I'm glad you're okay."
"You were worried?" he asked, tone light and the smile making the tease obvious.
Mamoru let out a short laugh, "I'm sure you're tired of hearing it. But, yes, I was worried."
"It's… good to know, actually," Zoran admitted. It made him seem necessary to his friends. They cared about what happened to him. He had been so caught up in the what-if they didn't care, he hadn't considered that they actually did. He held out his hand, "Thank you."
Mamoru grasped his forearm, much as he had that day in the apartment. That same electric feeling was there, without the nauseating effects of memories unburying. He recognized it now as a piece of that connection. It told him where he was supposed to be. It allowed him to locate his brothers. It allowed him to find his way home.
"Thank you for returning. I'm also honest in my selfish need for you four to return to me," Mamoru said lightly. Zoran could see the truth in the words. Mamoru had faced so much in the time they had been gone. He'd had Usagi and he'd had the Senshi. But, he hadn't had his friends; he hadn't had the men he considered brothers, as well.
"I'm ready to do everything I can to support you. And, to live," Zoran told him, realizing that, despite the fears he'd still felt this morning, he was confident in the words.
Before Mamoru could respond, the doors bust open and Jacob came in, throwing one arm around Zoran and pulling him close, "Look at you! I think you handled this even better than I did!"
"Because you're a drama-king," came the saucy reply behind Jacob and Rei winked when Zoran made eye contact.
Zoran laughed as Jacob pouted.
"I couldn't stay down long when I had so many people worried about me," he joked, pushing lightly at Jacob.
Jacob smiled and Mamoru rolled his eyes. He glanced back at Ami, who was watching them with her chin in her hands, a small smile playing around her mouth. He could do this. He could live with these people. He could accomplish Zoisite's goals. He could be happy while doing it.
a.n. Sorry this took so long. I've gone back and forth with how I wanted to end this one. This is the hard ending but there is one more "epilogue" chapter like there had been with Remembrance. After that, I plan to start Nephrite's story!