Mr. 96: Here it is, the finale of The Good, The Bugs, and the Daffy! Looking back at my earlier Strange Stories, I really could have made this whole story one chapter, but I was in kind of a rush to finish the last one. As usual, Looney Tunes is property of Warner Brothers.

The entire town of Smayk Bite Junction stood in awe of the long-eared stranger's accomplishments. "Gwanny, Gwanny!" A little bird said, pulling on an old woman's dress. "I tawt I taw da notowious Ophiuchus Gang!"

"Thufferin' thuccotash!" a tuxedo cat in a tuxedo exclaimed, "That long-eared thtranger jutht defeated them! I've never even theen anyone thtand up to outlawth in thith town!"

"That wabbit's a weaw shawpshootew," a short man in a coonskin cap and tan tights said, "An' that's coming fwom a gweat huntew of L'D'wadan Deviws!"

Everyone began cheering for the long-eared stranger so loudly that Daffy could hear it from his office. "Deputy!" he shouted, "What'th that racket all about!"

"I'll go che-ah-chi-uh-chaaa-see what the hubbub's about!" Porky said, and peeked through the blinds, "It looks like they're chee-ah-che-uh…."

"Oh for Pete'th thake, Deputy!" Daffy angrily said, pushing him out of the way, "I'll thort thith out!" He grabbed his rayvolver belt and put it on, heading out.

Everyone in Smayk Bite Junction was tossing Bugs in the air. "Three cheers for the long-eared stranger!" an old woman said.

"Alright, break it up!" Sheriff Daffy shouted, walking up to Bugs. "I'm arrethting thith long-eared thtranger for dethtruction of public property!"

"Hey, wait a minute!" Bugs said, "I only did dat 'cause of da notorious Ophiuchus Gang!"

"Oh come on, that'th a likely thtory!" Daffy shouted, "If there wath a robbery over there, I'd have been notified by the thaloon'th thilent alarm! And even if I grant you it'th thilent, I thtill don't thee any banditth anywhere!"

"What are you talkin' about?" Bugs said, "Da gang are…." He looked around to see that the Ophiucus Gang had already disappeared. "Where did dey go?"

"Oh, don't you pull that on me, buthter!" Daffy grimaced.

"Come on, do I look like a tiny toon to ya?" the rabbit laughed, not noticing a large rooster in a tinfoil-colored suit walking up behind him. "Actually, my name's…."

"Well, howdy to ya, stranger!" the mayor said, cutting him off, "My name's Foghorn Leghorn, an' ah'm the mayor of this little ol' town!" He shook Bugs's hand profusely. "An' ah'm just pleased, ah say, pleased as punch to see a gunfighter o' your obvious caliber in Smayk Bite Junction!"

"Wait, did you say—" Bugs said, before Foghorn brought a finger up to his face.

"Don't interrupt, son!" the mayor said, "Now, election season is comin' up, ah say, comin' up in a few weeks, an' ah think the town could do well with a gunslinger like you for a sheriff!"

"Now hold on!" Daffy said, "I'm the sheriff of Thmayk Bite Junction and you…."

"Not now, Daffy!" Foghorn said, "Can't you see I'm workin' here? Anyway, Daffy here's as incompetent as sheriffs come, ah say, he's a darnfool idjit! Pickin' him as mah runnin' mate last year was the biggest mistake of my life! But you…."

"Wait, da town's called Smayk Bite…" Bugs started to say.

"AH, SHADDUP, BOTH OF Y'ALL!" Mayor Leghorn shouted, "Can't hear myself think with you two always interjectin'! Can't even get a word in edgewise! Here I am, tryin', ah say, tryin' my dangedest to give you the greatest job opportunity of your life here, an' all you can do is interrupt at every turn!"

"But Mr. Mayor," the long-eared stranger said, "Smayk Bite Junction's in L'D'rado! Are you tryin' to say…."

"That's the name of the planet, son!" Foghorn tipped his hat, "Land of opportunity an' danger! An' ah can see you're a man o' both!"

The long-eared stranger pulled out a brick-shaped phone and stuck a floppy disk labeled "Googleplex Galaxy" into it. Pushing a few buttons, he scratched his head. "I knew I got on da wrong rocket at Albukoikee!" he said, "'Scuse me, mac, but I gotta get going! Carrots don't grow on L'D'rado!"

"Wait just a second, son!" Foghorn said, pushing Bugs back as the rabbit tried to make his way out of the town, "Ah know the soil ain't good for growin' most but the, ah say, resilient veggies, but the saloon gets a new shipment o' the good stuff every month an' we sure know how to cook 'em!"

"Well, gee, I'm sorry to disappoint ya, Mr. Mayor, but it ain't just dat!" Bugs said, shaking Foghorn's hand, "I also gotta find da bum toitle what outdrew me on da Oith, an' he's in another solar system!" He quickly burrowed into the ground. "An' don't think it ain't been a pleasure!" he said, popping his head up out of the hole he dug, "'Cause it ain't!"

He quickly jumped back into the hole, shouting "So long, spooks! See ya on Betelgeuse!" and dug his way off into the sunset.

Mr. 96: That's…NOT all, folks! APRIL FOOL'S! This is absolutely not the actual ending of The Good, the Bugs, and the Daffy, but a relative of mine thought this would be a funnier ending than what I had planned. I knew it would actually tick off most of my readers and there was no way I could turn it into a real story, so I turned it into an April Fool's gag! Expect the real second chapter later this month!