Edward

The food switch turned back on in Edward's head. He wasn't sure exactly how else to explain it. One minute, he was denying himself everything that was supposed to give him comfort, or take care of him, and then next, he could eat. He wandered into the kitchen where Bella was cooking, and grabbed a fork, picking at the pan the way he used to. She shooed him away, before glancing up as if she didn't believe her eyes.

"Get a plate," she scolded. "No, get four plates. Set the table." He and Jacob waited at the table while she finished cooking. Dinner was easy. They all seemed to relax and enjoy dinner, in a way that they couldn't before. Once dinner was over, Bella and Mike went off to take care of the baby and get ready for bed. Edward found himself in the living room, and his thoughts wandered to weeks ago. Christ was it only weeks ago?

Edward couldn't believe that he'd slept late. Today of all days, he wanted to get up early. He was just pulling a hoodie over his shirt when his mom called up the stairs.

"Elizabeth, Mike is here, but he said to hurry or you'll have to walk."

"I'm coming!" Edward took one last look in the mirror and grabbed his coat. He followed Mike out to the car, where Michael was cooing in the car seat. The drive to Bella's house was short, but Edward was a bundle of nerves. Months of talking to Brady through text and chat and over the phone were culminating in this one meeting. What if Brady didn't like him? What if Brady was expecting something completely different, and Edward didn't measure up?

They pulled up, and Mike reached to the back seat and handed Edward a paper bag of muffins. Edward followed him as he got the car seat, and they walked up to the house together.

"When did it get so cold?" Mike asked as they walked up the porch steps. Edward shrugged and shivered.

"Come in," Bella said, opening the door for them. She took the car seat and shut the door as they took their coats off and hung them up on the hooks. "He's in the kitchen," she said. Of course she could read him like a book. Nevermind the anxious conversations he'd had with her about this meeting. She and Mike went to the living room with the baby, and Edward was left standing in the hallway. He went to the kitchen, where Brady was sitting, writing in a journal. Jellybean lay sprawled on the table, her tail moving lazily. Edward hesitated for a minute, watching him. He was even more beautiful than the pictures. Black, silky hair in sharp contrast to pale skin. Edward swallowed hard and cleared his throat. Brady stopped writing as Edward came in, but he didn't say anything.

"Hi," Edward said, stepping forward uncertainly. "I'm Edward…" Finally, Brady looked up. "Can I sit?" Edward asked. Brady nodded and cleared his papers away, glancing toward the other chair. Edward sat down, not at all sure what to say. "Me and Mike brought food," he said lamely, belatedly remembering that he was still holding the paper bag. Brady glanced at it, but it was Jellybean who got up and went over. She sniffed the bag and tried to tear it open with her teeth. "Can I pet her?" Edward asked longingly. He loved cats, but his parents wouldn't let him have one. Brady nodded, watching, and Edward offered his hand to the cat. Jellybean wasn't shy, and she came right up to him, rubbing her cheeks on his hand.

"She likes you," Brady said after a minute, watching with a curious and sad expression. "I heard somewhere that cats are a good judge of character…" He sounded wistful. "What kind of food did you bring?" He asked after a minute. Edward looked at the bag, laying on the table and practically forgotten.

"Muffins, I think," he said. Reluctantly, he got up to get plates. Jellybean sat on the table and waited for him to come back. He brought a couple plates to the table. Jellybean went over and sniffed it the bag again, and Brady took one out and broke off a piece for her. "Should she be eating that?" Edward asked. Brady shrugged.

"She's a spoiled princess who likes this a lot better than cat food." Edward laughed, and Brady looked startled, but his face relaxed into a smile too. "So... What's so special about Christmas?" Edward stared at him, open mouthed.

"Are you saying that you never celebrated Christmas before?" Brady looked down at the table, not sure how to respond. "Sorry…" Edward said, realizing what it sounded like. "I just meant that we're gonna have to make this year really special to make up for… before."

"Why do you like Christmas?" Brady asked, looking straight at Edward for the first time.

"It's pretty…" Edward said after a minute. "Yeah, it's really pretty…" He groaned internally, knowing how stupid he sounded, but he'd totally lost his train of thought.

"I know what you mean," Brady said, looking away. "Oh! Jeez, I'm sorry!" He said, standing up. Jellybean had taken her chance and grabbed a muffin out of the bag, jumped off the table, and streaked off down the hall to the bedroom.

"It's fine," Edward said, sitting back in his chair. "Do you like Christmas carols?" He asked, deciding not to ask what he was thinking at the last moment. Brady sat back down, frowning thoughtfully.

"I don't know…"

"Come on, let's go see if Bella has her Christmas cds out yet." Edward got up and went to the living room. Bella and Mike were playing with Michael. Brady followed him, and caught sight of Michael, so happy and innocent, unaware of anything bad in the world. He stood partly behind Edward, not paying attention to what Edward and Bella were saying.

"You can come closer," Mike said, looking at Brady. Brady looked up, as if he was caught doing something wrong. He shook his head and took a step back.

"Maybe later," he said. Mike shrugged.

"Suit yourself," he said.

"Why don't you put these on in here and hang out for a while. We have to go out and get some food and stuff for the next couple days," Bella said, holding a few CD cases. Brady looked at her with wide eyes. Hannah was at work, and now Bella was leaving him here with a stranger? Even if it was Edward. And they'd technically known each other for months. "Don't worry. You'll be fine." She said, reading his expression. Finally, he nodded and sat down on the couch. Jellybean jumped up and curled up in his lap, licking her lips.

"I'm still mad at you," he said to her. "You stole Edward's muffin." She purred smugly and ignored him. "It's a wonder you're not a million pounds by now," he grumbled. "I think muffins are just cupcakes in disguise," Brady said, looking over at Edward. He was rewarded with Edward's easy laugh. But there was something nagging at Edward, and now that they were alone, Edward wanted to ask it. Just, how to phrase it, was the question.

"Do you um… Ever like somebody but you're not sure if they like you back?" He asked after a minute, holding his breath.

"Yes…" Brady said slowly, wondering about this line of questions. "But they never like me back, so I learned not to get my hopes up."

"What if they did like you back? What would you do?" Edward asked. He was curious suddenly.

"Probably be scared," Brady said quietly. "Most people want stuff that's more than I can give them…"

"What if they didn't want anything, they just wanted you to be happy?" Edward asked, not daring to look over at Brady.

"I don't know what that means." Brady looked down at his hands. Girly hands, he'd always been told. Why would anyone like him? He was weird and skinny and shy, and he didn't like girls. But he couldn't admit that to anybody, especially not somebody who wanted to be his friend. And most of all, not to someone that he might want to be more than his friend. He sighed, and Edward looked over at him. "I think… That we shouldn't be friends…" He said, forcing himself to keep his voice even. Everything in him wanted to say, "No, never mind. I really like you!" But that was exactly the problem. He'd been nervous about this meeting for a long time, and he was sure that just because Edward was nice and cute, and had pretty green eyes, it didn't mean that he was at all interested in Brady.

"What…?" Edward was stunned. "But I thought… We're friends…"

"I don't want to ruin this…" Brady whispered, bringing his arms around himself tightly.

"But what's to ruin?" Edward said. "Is it because Bella told you I'm trans? Cause if it's that big of a deal for you, then I won't talk about it."

"No… It's me and that I… Wait…" Brady turned to Edward, his eyes wide. "You don't care…? About… all the stuff from my past?" Edward shook his head.

"Why would I care? It's not like we don't all have our demons. You have more than most people, but still." Edward bit his lip. "I'm confused. I sort of thought you liked me."

"I do…" Brady said. This was the last thing he ever would have expected. "More than I should."

"Why are there rules? Why can't you just like whoever you want to like?" Edward asked.

"In a perfect world, it might work like that. But it doesn't in the real world."

"It could," Edward said. Brady looked at him, noting the change in his voice. He sounded like he had an idea, and Brady wasn't sure if it was a good one or not. He watched Edward go to the stereo and turn on the music. This had to be Christmas carols. It matched the decorations, sort of. If the decorations had voices, this was what they would sound like. Edward came back over and sat next to him, taking his hand. Brady let him, noticing the little thrill that ran through him when Edward touched him. "Don't be afraid."

"You say that as if it's easy…" Brady muttered, looking down at their hands. He looked up at Edward's face, and for the first time, he realized that Edward looked at him as if he was something special. Beautiful even. Slowly, without really realizing it, he reached out and touched Edward's cheek with his other hand. Edward closed his eyes, and Brady traced his lips with a fingertip. Edward looked at him and he pulled his hand away.

"I won't hurt you…" He said, holding Brady's hand more firmly.

"You promise?" Brady asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I promise." Edward sounded so sure, so confident. Brady searched his face, but there wasn't any trace of doubt. He laced his fingers with Edward's and squeezed a little. It didn't seem like much, but to Edward, it meant everything. It meant that Brady was willing to try; to trust him, and he knew he would do anything to keep that trust.

Edward blinked when Jacob sat down next to him. Jacob who had given so much already, to Edward, to his brother, to the rest of them. How was Jacob so good?

"What are you thinking about?" Jacob asked, handing Edward a mug of tea.

"Christmas."

"He told us about Christmas," Jacob said, an easy smile crossing his face. "He was so excited. And for Brady, that was something you didn't see every day."

"Can I ask you something? Edward asked.

"Of course." At the last second, though, Edward chickened out of what he was going to ask.

"Do you mind if I stay with you tonight?"

"Of course not," Jacob said, wrapping an arm around him.